>> your move, [ bleep ]. >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- larry david, dave salmoni and animals, kristen bell, live from florida, plus the finale of baby bachelor in paradise. and now, get this -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: that's very nice. hello, everybody. very kind and i appreciate it. i'm jimmy and i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. and of course on behalf of -- [ cheers and applause ] very nice. on ba of all of us here at the show, our studio audience, los angeles, we want to send good thoughts to those affected by hurricane irma. irma hit florida pretty hard but it has been downgraded to a tropical storm, which is good. recovery efforts are under way. this is crazy. florida is the best. a guy in daytona beach, i don't know if you saw this. as a joke he posted a campaign for his fellow floridians to fire guns at the hurricane to "let irma know that we shoot first." [ laughter ] and guess what happened. some people took it seriously to the point where the pasco county

stern warning, do not shoot weapons at irma, you won't make it turn around and it will have very dangerous side effects. [ laughter ] they made a graphic to show you if you fire a bullet at a hurricane, it might come back at you. [ laughter ] in other words if you shoot at a hurricane, it will shoot you back. always try to negotiate with a hurricane, first. okay? this is unprecedented. who shoots at weather? [ laughter ] i mean, even in the middle of a natural disaster, florida is still as floridaish as it can be. not everybody chose to obey the evacuation orders. this was a live report from miami beach where some local residents decided to hang outside and take it in. >> once it starts raining, the wind starts blowing, everyone runs home. the issue becomes once it starts clearing up, people start showing up. look at these gentlemen here. they came out here to do what? what did you come out to do?

weather. >> just to experience the weather? >> we heard about all the evaculation going on. [ laughter ] but we just decided to come out to experience the weather. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, you know. you do have to -- [ applause ] sometimes those evaculations can be premature and you have trouble on your hands. even though they told people to get out of florida, every time you turn on the tv this weekend there was a reporter getting holesed with wind and rain and everything. i saw a lot of concerned and angry comments about this online. people were worried, all of a sudden people start caring about weathermen. usually we treat them like traffic cones. you know? you see them, maybe you go around. a lot of them are orange. it's kind of like -- we don't pay much attention to them anymore because we get the weather on our phones. we don't have to wait till the news comes on, it's already like in our pants. so as a result, weather is unnecessary on television now. you might as well be announc

what time it is. [ laughter ] instead of like a map, you might as well put a big clock up on the wall and say, it's 8:14, in about 16 minutes we're looking at a chance of 8:30. [ laughter ] but this is why -- [ cheers and applause ] this is why -- this is why weather people are all good look looking now. because they have no information to give us anymore. [ laughter ] but then the hurricane comes and the news channels send them into it and it's like, be careful with my weather guy. he could get killed out there. fortunately none of them did. it's important to recognize that these brave men and women risk everything for no good reason at all. and i applaud them for that. this is a good story. one of the many people stranded in florida is kristen bell, the actress. she was shooting a movie in orlando and they evacuated two big groups of nursing home residents and moved them into her hotel. in disney world. kristen decide s

them. this is from her instagram. she wrote there are a few thousand senior residents who got evacuated to our hotel. we're going to make lemonade out of irma best we can. i'm fueling up the only way i know how to call a few hours of bingo. she called bingo. they had a bingo game for them. they had wheelchair races at midnight. [ laughter ] she ate with them. there she is dining with her new friends. their grandkids are going to be jealous. when they find out they had dinner with princess anna. anyway, we contacted kristen. she's still there in the hotel and all the senior citizens are still in the hotel. i believe we have her live? do we have her live? yes. there she is. how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm good. >> jimmy: how's it going? >> pretty good. we're all safe and sound here. we have been making the most of a crazy situation. >> jimmy: it sounds like you are. is everybody okay there right now? >> everybody's fine. we have gotten through it really well mainly because of gary. >> jimmy: who's gary?

we're at walt disney world swan and dolphin report and gary has been running the roost over here. gary is exhausted because he's been running toilet paper to people's rooms at 2:00 in the morning, handing out water. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: nicely done, gary. i mean, really. running toilet paper to people's rooms. [ laughter ] >> anything you need, it's so full service here. when is the last time you slept? >> the last time i slept was friday night. woke up saturday morning. we have been at the hotel ever since. >> jimmy: no. >> gary's been up for like 72 hours, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gary, are people asking for toilet paper or are you just delirious and running it to their room? [ laughter ] >> all day i've just been running down to the rooms at this point. >> jimmy: i recognize the gentleman to your right is that the guy you sang with on the video? >> this is john. >> jimmy: hi, john. >> this is my side piece here in orlando, jimmy. [ laughter ]

jimmy? >> yes, where are you? how are you? >> jimmy: i'm in california. how are you? >> oh. i'm swamped under with beautiful women. >> with beautiful women, did you hear what he said? >> beautiful women. >> jimmy: wow. >> yes. >> jimmy: this hurricane is working out beautifully for john, i'll tell you that. [ laughter ] >> i'll never be the same. >> john's been serenading us. we have everyone here from atria senior assisted living. >> jimmy: hi, unbelievable. >> we have so many people. and it's not just seniors here. >> jimmy: wow. that is -- and you are really the best. that is unbelievable that you're doing all this stuff for everyone. >> we got dogs here, families, everybody. >> jimmy: all right, well, please give our love to all the families and dogs. maybe you and john could do a duet for us before we go, i saw you singing together. >> i told him you were johnny carson because he didn't kno

>> jimmy: oh, even better, even better. [ cheers and applause ] >> do you want to sing some? >> thank you all for being here. and we hope you enjoy the show. >> he says he hopes you enjoy the show. you can have us singing, you can run our video. i posted something on instagram of us singing. >> jimmy: thank you, kristen. we send our love. [ cheers and applause ] >> love you guys. >> jimmy: that's kristen bell in orlando. here's another light moment that came out of a serious situation. this is from florida governor rick scott's press conference on saturday. pay attention to the man on the right. he's the sign language interpreter who really gave 110%. >> the threat of significant storm surge along the east, entire west coast of florida has increased. and 6 to 12 feet, think about that 6 to 12 feet of impacts above ground level is now probable. 6 to 12 feet. this will cover your house.

if you've ever watched how storm surge works, it flows in fast, very fast. then it flows out. you will not survive all this storm surge. this is a life-threatening situation. if you've been ordered to evacuate, you need to leave now. do not wait. evacuate. not tonight, not in an hour. you need to go right now. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay. that's good stuff. someone please track that man down. because oh, by the way, i want to -- guillermo bring me that e-mail for a second. larry david is here tonight. dave salmoni is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] larry david -- i know you both have a david. so you can differentiate. dave is the one that loves animals, larry hates people, okay? [ laughter ] so, dave brought a venomous snake with him tonight. this is an e-mail that went around

"jimmy kimmel live" staff, subject, animal demo today, please read, importance high. there are venomous snakes present in the studio for today's animal demo. although their venom has been drained, only personnel essential to the scene will be allowed within 50 feet, please do not enter the small band dressing room unless absolutely necessary. additionally rehearsal is closed to nonessential personnel. thank you for your cooperation. guess who is only person who didn't get this e-mail is? [ laughter ] the nonessential personnel. that's who. [ laughter ] thanks for alerting me, guillermo. >> guillermo: you're welcome. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: anyway, who is ready to be within 50 feet of a venomous snake tonight? [ cheers and applause ] we're going to take a break. when we come back we'll update you on the finale of bachelor in paradise and the finale of baby bachelor in paradise. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. larry david, dave salmoni, and his animal friends are on the way. first tonight here on abc, the season finale of bachelor in paradise. what a season this was and what a show this is, is it a show, really? one of the more colorful characters is a woman named christen. nobody called her that. they called her scallop fingers. a bunch went out to dinner and christen ordered scallops to go and ate them in the car on the way home. and there are others in the car who claim after she ate she wiped her scallop fingers on another woman, alexis, the one from new jersey who dressed as a

wouldn't mind a little scallop scent. but she did. and as a result everyone started calling her scallop fingers behind her back. and every time she is on camera, they put scallop fingers under it like it's her job or something and they started calling her scallop fingers to her face and now i'm explaining this nonsense on television. while she didn't end up with mr. scallop fingers, she didn't seem to be bothered by it. >> i'm very relieved. i would have been wigging out if i left here as a couple. thank you, it's a no. scallop fingers out. >> i think for scallops this just wasn't her habitat and she's home now and free. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like the weather channel. [ cheers and applause ] so another season of b.i.p. comes to a close. while it may be over for the contestants, the friendships

all right. now we turn our attention to a new generation. it's been an amazing journey so far. tonight all looking ends get tied up. it's the romantic conclusion to "baby bachelor in paradise." previously on the most shocking season of any show in the history of television. some of the kids found love and some -- >> hey ladies -- who wants a date. >> jimmy: found themselves alone and weird. dylan tried his best to woo the girls. >> any of you want to -- >> no, thanks. >> no, i'm good. >> i'll pass. >> you're too old. >> you're missing out. >> jimmy: i sat down for a one-on-one with the most rejected contestant in baby bachelor history. can i ask you a personal question? >> yes. >> jimmy: how long have you had that mustache? >> well, my moustache just grew and then it got bigger and bigger, then i

>> jimmy: do you shave every day? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you shave just your face or your chest and legs too? >> i shave my whole body. >> jimmy: your whole body every day. does that take a lot of time? >> it takes a thousand times. >> jimmy: it does take 1,000 times. and why do you shave your whole body? >> because i shave my face and shoe and my eyes. >> jimmy: dylan, i can see your mustache is starting to come off. so i'm going to let you enjoy the house with the other kids. >> okay, great idea. more of the girls are wearing mustaches, right? >> jimmy: four of the girls are wearing moustaches? >> yeah, and my mom. >> jimmy: your mom has a mustache? >> yeah, a bombshell. she has a bombshell moustache. >> jimmy: she'll be delighted to hear that. >> yeah, she'll be super delighted. >> jimmy: as the sun set over paradise it was time to force these children to get engaged.

from the start and no amount of chad or ethan could come between their love. >> will you be my bride? >> it's a ring. >> i got one too. >> pretty. >> jimmy: for them, the decision was delicious. >> can you believe these two? yeah? how old are you anyways? you got a full mustache. >> i'm five inches. >> five inches? >> i mean zero inches. >> zero inches old? >> uh-huh. >> yeah. well, you got a cool moustache, though. >> jimmy: bella had a hard time making a connection but sometimes love is right behind you holding a boom mike. michael the sound guy was bad at his job but great with the ladies and he wasn't afraid to fight for what he wanted.

>> mine! >> i wanted to give you this. >> okay. >> i -- guy. >> jimmy: for other babies it was more complicated. >> i feel a lot of pressure to marry mason. >> marry. >> here, i get to see her. >> he better give me that ring. >> i can't do it. >> give me that ring! >> jimmy: would brandon give in to macy's ultimatum or walk away with his dignity? >> give me that ring. i'll get furious! >> i'll give you the box. [ laughter ] ♪ >> this is the best box i ever got.

charlie. after her recent split with commitment-phobe brendan, would she take the plunge with clyde? >> this is for you. >> i love you. >> i love you too. >> i'm getting married. >> jimmy: bad boy alex made it clear he'd stop at nothing to win cosette's heart including attempting to murder dominic. but what the producers want is the only thing that matters. so they got engaged. >> i want you to have this. >> i so happy. ♪ [ applause ]

>> it's heavy. there you go. >> jimmy: with love in the air, so ends the most dramatic, shocking, unbelievable and to reiterate, dramatic and shocking first and final season of baby bachelor in paradise ever before. [ cheers and applause ] coming up next stay tuned for the series premier of "baby wipeout." >> jimmy: oh, that looks good. we have a good show tonight. dave salmoni and his wild animal friends are here. and we'll be right back with larry david.

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is here. dave brought a mountain lion cub, hedgehogs, a bald eagle, and a very poisonous viper. but don't worry, dave tweeted this, he wrote, learning to handle venomous snakes today. that was yesterday. so he has at least 24 hours' experience with them. tomorrow night michael keaton will be here. from cnn van jones will be here. we'll have music from the lone bellow. and the then later this week music from 21 savage and dustin lynch. the host of the emmys, stephen colbert, will be here. new american u.s. open champ sloan stevens will join us, nina dobrev will be here. and on wednesday, former white house stress secretary sean spicer will be here in this chair and question -- i've been thinking about it. question number one: did donald trump ever kick or bite you? [ laughter ] and then we'll go from there. for six long years we've been forced to rely on real life to

but on october 1st we turn to television again as "curb your enthusiasm" returns to hbo, please welcome larry david. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> stop it! does this bother you at all? is this okay? >> jimmy: yeah, it does bother me. >> i don't like to get too close to people. you know, i keep a distance. >> jimmy: i see that. it's okay. we can do it like this. >> i'll come over. >> jimmy: come over. [ cheers and applause ] i think -- last time you were here you sat in the right chair. i don't know what the problem -- thank you for coming back. >> i'll tell you what the problem is. you want to know what the problem is? last time -- >> jimmy: yeah.

room and said hello, like a person. >> jimmy: right. >> okay? what? did the oscar stuff, it's all in your head now, huh? >> jimmy: can i be honest with you? >> i wish you would. >> jimmy: first of all, i think they said something last time, larry's not sure he wants to be here, maybe you should say hello to him beforehand. >> larry wasn't sure this time either. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and the reason i don't go back there. i know this sounds ridiculous is it makes me feel stupid when i say hello for the second time in ten minutes. >> the double hello. of course! >> jimmy: you understand this. >> totally! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm glad you understand it. >> the double hello. you know what? i'm so glad i brought it up. >> jimmy: i'm glad too. >> now i know you don't want to do a double hello. i love that. >> jimmy: thank you, i appreciate that. >> you know what is worse than a double hello? the double good-bye. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> we did that on the show. i left a watch.

it was a horrible situation. i broke a lamp and a woman was yelling at me and i left and then i -- two minutes later i left my watch and had to go back in for the double good-bye. >> jimmy: you don't want to go back in. >> horrible >> jimmy: you never want to go back in. >> no. >> jimmy: first of all, let me say, you know we got snakes back stage and stuff. are you an animal guy? >> am i an animal guy? no, i'm not, no! no, not even close. no! i hate them almost as much as people. [ laughter ] you know? and that's saying something. >> jimmy: that's fair. >> i'm not an animal person or a people person. and very few of us are neither, it's like 2%. >> jimmy: if you did the venn diagram, it would be very, very small. you didn't have pets? you don't have pets? >> when i was married i had pets. >> jimmy: oh, i see.

i didn't buy them. she bought them for the kids. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i've never seen -- depressed animals like that in my life. i couldn't look at them. they were so depressed. you know, they wanted somebody to play with them, i guess. don't look at me. [ laughter ] i felt so bad every now and then i would give them a guilty pet. hello, there boy. hey, boy. that was enough, 20 seconds of petting. what am i going to do? how boring is that, how long can you pet? >> jimmy: as a child were you the same way with animals, dogs and whatnot? >> yes, i've always been the same. i feel like i've been this way since i'm 2. [ laughter ] but the good thing about the dog is when i came home, somebody gave me a greeting, the dog, you know? >> jimmy: yes, right. >> the dog gave me a greeting. >> jimmy: they wouldn't say anything. >> you love a good greeting. right? >> jimmy: of course. >> no. the dog would bark. i would get a good greeting from the dog, that was nice. >> jimmy: yeah.

no plans for dogs any time in the future? >> no. there will be no living thing in my house. [ laughter ] ever. yeah. >> jimmy: do people come to your house? speaking of living things in your house. do you have guests or parties? >> ha ha ha! ha ha ha! have you lost your mind? [ laughter ] guests or parties? god, no. no. when i was in new york i had a tiny apartment and my mother gave me all the dishes. and i had a lot of dishes. and you know, who wants to clean up? so they would pile up in the sink. and then i -- then i have to wash all the dishes and i go what the hell do i need these dishes and silverware for? all piling in the sink, all birthy. and every two weeks i would have to clean the whole thing. the hell with this. i threw it all out except one plate, one knife, one fork and one spoon. it was fantastic. >> jimmy: that's the saddest thing i've ever heard. >> no, it was fantastic, it was.

i didn't have the dish pileup, it was wonderful. >> jimmy: you forced yourself to wash them after every thing. >> yes. >> jimmy: i hope, anyway. >> before the next meal, yeah. >> jimmy: very practical and really kind of the machinations of a lunatic in a way, yes? >> i love the word machinations. by the way. i love the word. you pronounced it correctly. a lot of people say match-i-nations. >> jimmy: i know, i don't like that either. we have maybe too much in common, i guess. >> i'm not so sure about that. >> jimmy: probably not. [ laughter ] when we come back -- >> we're coming back? >> jimmy: we're coming back, we'll talk about the new program. i'm delighted to inform the audial on the show this season. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: larry david is here. we'll be right back.

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come on, i can't look at that. take it away. hi. trying to work. >> sorry. what's your problem? >> no one wants to see this. very disturbing. >> two people aren't allowed to be happy? >> you're allowed to be happy but not in front of me. so let's move it down.

>> all right. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's larry david and "curb your enthusiasm" which is finally coming back. >> you don't do that. that's no way for adults to behave, is it? come on, no. >> jimmy: you are genuinely, that is something that bothers you when you see it? >> oh, god. news yating, yeah. cannot stand it. cannot stand it. >> jimmy: people tell you that they are just like you all the time. they feel like a bond with you as far as these strong opinions you have about seemingly innocent things? >> yes. jewish people. jewish people think that it's an inroad to having a good chat with me. >> jimmy: i see. >> so they'll come up to me and go, hey. i'm a jew. really! well, congratulations to you! what do you know about that? >> jimmy: and it's not a good inroad.

are there any really? >> no not especially, no. >> jimmy: why did you decide to do the show again after six years of not? >> i don't see how that's any of your business. [ laughter ] i really don't. >> jimmy: you're right. >> i think it's a personal question. am i on barbara walters here? you come out, you probe? >> jimmy: she's retired. >> don't probe, okay? >> jimmy: don't probe. >> i don't know, i just thought, yeah -- i kind of missed it. >> jimmy: has tv larry changed in any way on the show? >> what's changed is the way that people yell at me. okay? every show, somebody's yelling, cursing, everything. you know, you usually -- it's you bald bastard, things like that. you bald [ bleep ], i can't say that, that will be bleeped. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> you know. and it always made me laugh. and then

been on for five years, six years. and now instead of a bald bastard they're calling me an old bastard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, old bastard. old [ bleep ]. you know? the bald bastard used to make me laugh. but the old. the old bastard, god no. no, i didn't like that at all. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. i did not like that. >> jimmy: the show is structured but basically improv. and people have altered their insults to suit what they think you are -- >> because i'm older now, this is what they've picked up on. >> jimmy: maybe you could ask them to stop that. >> boy do i miss being called bald. >> jimmy: you never thought you'd miss that. were you ever self-conscious about being bald? >> self-conscious? no. no, you see -- i never did a comb-over. >> jimmy: yeah, you never did that. >> no. i never flirted with a toupee. >> jimmy: okay. >> never flirted. i did go to the dermatologist

>> jimmy: uh-huh, and he? >> is it going to keep getting worse? but you know what i have to say about the whole thing? >> jimmy: what? >> i'm very proud of myself. >> jimmy: why? >> i'm not proud of myself for a lot of things. very proud of the way i accepted my baldness, i am. i'm proud. [ cheers and applause ] it's the only demonstration of character i've ever displayed in my life. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> yes. in my entire life. how i accepted my baldness. i'm amazed i did it like that. i amazed myself. >> jimmy: you think that is your best quality in general? >> no. no. my best -- that's a good quality. that was good. but i think my best quality is that i'm a great person to break up with. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> fantastic, yes. so fantastic. no histrionics. there's no scene. you know. everybody's afraid to say it.

sorry, i just don't think we should see each other anymore. oh, really. okay, okay, that's good. that's good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's your best quality. >> that's great. and i'll tell you another great quality. >> jimmy: what is it? >> i'm a terrific mourner. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> great mourner, yeah. >> jimmy: somebody passes away? >> yes, i'm a very approachable mourner. >> jimmy: how do you do it? >> i just make it very comfortable for people to come up to me. so sorry about your loss. oh, yeah, go have some deli, you know, go eat, go eat. i'm good. >> jimmy: what is your worst quality? while we're on this particular subject. >> not good in hospitals. >> jimmy: oh, really. good mourner but not hospitals. >> bad hospital visitor. terrible visitor. >> jimmy: why? >> because i can't hide the pity. you know. they see through the pity.

if they didn't know they were dying before i got there, they know when they look at my face. [ laughter ] yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. >> i can't -- i cannot pity bluff. i can't bluff it. i look at them i go -- how you doing? i'm sorry, i just -- you're not feeling well. >> jimmy: once they die, no problem. that's very interesting. you're more comfortable almost with the dead than the living. speaking of the dead we have a snake coming out here. do you want to stay and experience these wild animals along with me? [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm going to do it. >> jimmy: i'm shocked and delighted. larry david is here. [ cheers and applause ] "curb your enthusiasm" is here october 1st on hbo. we'll be right back with animals. stopped into marshalls and found a mug for surprisingly little green. she paired that with some succulents. and suddenly something clicked. that surprise led to a stylish wood mirror,

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>> jimmy: hi there, we are back. larry david is here. each time our next guest pays a visit to this show, he risks life and limb, specifically my life and limb. to entertain you. he's a beastmaster who's handy

his new special "pet nation renovation" premieres wednesday night on animal planet. please welcome the canadian tarzan dave salmoni. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: what is this? >> larry: okay. >> jimmy: already the animals are out of control. >> hello, hello, hello, everybody! you're all right, you're all right. >> jimmy: are you leaving? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: say good-bye to larry, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my god! good night, everybody! i'm leaving too. [ cheers and applause ] >> this is a mountain lion. >> jimmy: yeah, no kidding. >> hi, sweetheart. >> jimmy: he should be in the mountains. >> i think it might be l

>> jimmy: why are you bleeding already? while why are you bleeding every time you come out here? >> it's for dramatic effect. >> jimmy: how old this is mountain lion? >> very young about 4 months old. you can see he's getting used to all the people. see, he's happy and healthy. do you want to hold him? >> jimmy: no, i don't want to hold him. >> probably a good instinct. >> jimmy: probably nothing less i want to than to hold him. honestly. >> let me show you fun things about him. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. >> a mountain lion or a cougar -- same thing. illermo in a bad way. t [ laughter ] >> first thing you might have noticed, except for the teeth and claws, he's got spots still. babies are born with light blue eyes. you can see his eyes still have some blue in them. want to show your eyes? >> jimmy: just like human babies. born with blue eyes. and human babies -- and when they are teenagers, they have spots on their faces, too. >> he has these spots because all -- >> jimmy: he does not want any part of you. >> he does, he wants all the parts of me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i guess he does, yeah. >> these spots are going to help him because at this age he is

hunting. they're solitary animals, mountain lions. he needs to hide from predators who might hurt him. so the spots help him find a nice little bush somewhere. >> jimmy: he looks happy, though. >> he is happy. the difference between happy and unhappy is his ears would be further back. >> jimmy: is that when we should be worried? [ laughter ] >> no, in these situations it's not a matter of worried. oh, big guy, yeah, quit showing off. >> jimmy: yeah, oh-oh. >> oh-oh, lost that. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. that's probably a good idea. >> lost the leash. >> jimmy: god only knows what is in that box. what is in that box? >> i need some things. >> jimmy: it's -- yeah. i did not order this on amazon. i'm going to tell you that right now. >> why don't you come into this chair. go sit there. this is a very, very venomous snakes. one of the most venomous snakes in the world. you can see i'm not going the

largest fangs in the world of any snake and therefore -- i need you to be stationary. is that your spot? >> jimmy: yeah. this is my spot. >> okay, that's your spot. as you suggested i'm fairly new at this. >> jimmy: i saw that on your twitter or whatever. >> i'm going to use these sticks here. >> jimmy: yeah? >> these sticks are going to help me keep my hands and fingers away. >> jimmy: two shishkabobs the only thing keeping you from getting with -- don't put him near me, don't put him on my -- oh, he's a fat little snake. >> he's a very, very heavy snake. i'm a little bit new at this. i'm going to be watching him more than you. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, watch him. >> this is a bon viper. you can come close fer you like. you are perfectly safe. one of the things i love about these guys although it is the biggest fangs. you can see the venom sac on the

side of his head. see how big that bump is there? that is the largest venom sacs of my venomous snake. he is one of the fastest strikers. this one could strike behind himself. [ laughter ] so even though he is a very dangerous snake, he's super calm. look at him. he's chilling out and relaxed. he's one of the best snakes for me to show you. people have this general fear of snakes and one of the biggest problems is that when people see these snakes they kill them. there's no real need. this guy has no interest in hurting anyone. just kind of wants to be left alone. >> jimmy: how do we know, though? we don't know. >> if he was going to hurt someone he would be striking at me. like the mountain lion was earlier. >> jimmy: maybe he doesn't want to hurt people on tv. because word gets around. that they like to hurt people. >> reputation. these are things i've not thought about. [ applause ] something else i want to show you about the bone viper is you see this beautiful coloration here on his back. see along his back? >> jimmy: don't poke him.

>> i apologize, i apologize. >> jimmy: he's tasting the air now. >> he is always sensing. he's a predator. he likes to hunt. he will strike if he gets at something he could strike at. this guy, with that coloration, he could sit on top of the leaf litter and nothing would see it and a rodent would come past and he'd use that fast strike, those big long fangs. and he has a venom that is going to attack the cells and the cells start to swell and stop working. he's going to stay away from it, lets it pass away, and then eats it. >> jimmy: that's great. i hear they love being in a box. [ laughter ] [ applause ] isn't that true? >> they do. >> jimmy: you want to see that snake get in that box? [ cheers and applause ] that would be -- i would love that too. why don't we take a break and put the snake where it wants to go which is in the box. >> that sounds fair to me. >> jimmy: and we'll continue with something else terrible. [ cheers and applause ] dave salmoni is here. we'll be right back.

>> jimmy: we're back with dave salmoni. dave's show is called "pet nation renovation" you fix up animal s

the cause i have a big heart, h shelter matches their heart. >> jimmy: did they have bald eagles in their shelters? >> they don't. these are more dogs and cat shelters. >> jimmy: i see, okay. >> but we are trying to make lives better which is a good example for this guy. this guy was marked for destruction. couldn't go back in the wild, was injured. patty here, patty's the mom, she said, well, i'll give it one more try. now he's an educational bird. he teaches people about how amazing these animals are. >> jimmy: he looks smart. do these birds look like they know they're on the money? are they aware? >> they look like they're fairly -- they're proud. proud animal. let me go through some of the things. the white hair is why it's bald. a bald eagle. >> jimmy: right. but not bald, not actually bald. >> they're not actually bald. >> jimmy: more feathers on the head than a usual bird. >> i don't know if you can see. there are feathers coming out the side here. he is molting. so once a year he drops his feather and gets new feathers.

gets nice and big. >> jimmy: do you make a pillow out of bald eagles? [ laughter ] >> no one i hang out with. no. and the other big thing with an eagle. and you see these talons, that's how they hunt. they love to be around -- >> jimmy: they'll take babies? >> fish typically. they can take things as big as baby deer. they're big. they're a real strong animal. this guy's wingspan is about 8 1/2 feet. >> jimmy: we're almost out of time, can we see the wing span? >> there he goes. >> jimmy: wow, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> strong guy. beautiful animal. one of my favorite birds. >> jimmy: and a nice breeze, too. >> like a fan. >> jimmy: you don't have a ceiling fan, this would be nice to have in your home. >> you're absolutely right. >> jimmy: thank you very much, dave. thank you to the eagle as well. i want to thank larry david. apologizes to matt damon we did run out of time for him tonight. thanks to kristen bell as well. dave salmoni, everybody! watch

good night. this is "nightline." >> tonight, life or death in puerto rico. nine days after hurricane maria, american citizens in dire need. >> it's getting worse and worse every day instead of getting better and better. >> food, water, and gas hard to find. families crossing dangerous waters for help and basic supplies. why the mayor of san juan is criticizing the trump administration's response. >> when you're drinking from a creek, it's not a good news story. plus the real wolf of wall street. the hard-partying stockbroker who inspired the oscar-nominated film. >> there is no nobility in po