>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- idris elba. from the world series champion houston astros, carlos correa. and music from brad paisley and john fogerty. and now, whaddaya know here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's very nice. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming.

quick question. [ cheers and applause ] i just have one -- do we have anyone here from hermany tonight? any hermanians? [ laughter ] i tell you, it's good to be back. i was off last week. officially i was off because my son billy was supposed to have a heart surgery but we had to postpone it because we all had colds in the house. and they can't do -- truth i was waiting in line for the new iphone all week. [ laughter ] then i spent the weekend trying to figure out how to type the letter "i" in my phone without a weird symbol and the letter "a" popping up all the time. [ laughter ] are you having that? anyway, my son is doing fine. i want to thank everyone who filled in for me. [ cheers and applause ] some list of guest hosts last week, jennifer lawrence, channing tatum, dave grohl, shaquille o'neal, i want to thank shaq twice because he's enormous. [ laughter ] gas weird sitting at home watching other

and you guillermo, you cheated on me. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: sorry, jimmy, won't happen again. >> jimmy: good to have time at home with the kids, but there is such a thing as too much time at home with the kids. last night at 6:00 p.m. i reach that limit. my daughter jane refuses to eat anything. she's 3 years old. it's hollywood. she's concerned about her weight. [ laughter ] that was a joke. don't tweet me about it. but anyway. she doesn't like to eat and she doesn't like to sleep. which are two of the four basic things you need to do to stay alive. all she will eat is rice, beans, peanut butter and pasta and candy, cake, cereal and cookies. yesterday my wife promised her they would make chocolate chip cookies together for dessert while i was making risotto for dinner. if you don't know, risotto is rice that takes the whole day to make. [ laughter ] you're toasting and reducing and stirring. by the way, when it's done, not that much better than regular rice really. [ laughter ] but rice is one of very few things that we will all eat as a family.

when i was done i put it in a bowl and she wouldn't eat it. i tried everything. i told her it was pasta, i told her it was wonder woman food. [ laughter ] she refused to even try it. i begged her, bribed her. i tried everything. i got nothing. she wanted cookies before dinner. she just kept saying no, no. she's relentless. finally i reached my breaking point. i snapped. i didn't know what to do. so i went over to the tray of freshly made chocolate chip cookies. i said if you don't eat this rice, i'm going to throw these cookies in the pool. [ laughter ] and she said no! and so i picked up a chocolate chip cookie and i chucked it into the pool. and i did. [ cheers and applause ] and i said, are you going to eat the rice? and she said no. so i picked another cookie up and threw it in the pool. my wife walks in, she's like what is going on in here? it's a maniac thro

i had no good explanation for what was going on, but guess what? she ate the rice. [ cheers and applause ] she ate the rice. and i'll tell you something, to pick a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie up and it was one of the heavy ones. to pick it up -- it just came out of the oven. to pick it up and throw it into the pool on purpose. to will your body to do that -- [ laughter ] it's like -- i imagine it's similar to what it would be like to intentionally drive your car into a mailbox. [ laughter ] but she did eat the rice. and this, by the way, is exactly how they should handle president trump at all times. [ cheers and applause ] you like this part? the president is on a tour of asia right now, which shouldn't be a problem at all. i'm sure that will go great. but he'll be out of the country for two weeks. he's in south korea right now, he's in japan today and yesterday meeting with prime minister shinzo abe. the president arrived in japan with his wife melania. and this is how they were greetewh

listen to the music the band played as they exited the jet. ♪ whoo girls hitch hallelujah ♪ uptown funk don't give it to you ♪ >> jimmy: "uptown funk" as played by a bar mitzvah band. [ laughter ] ♪ don't believe me just watch ♪ don't believe me just watch ♪ don't believe me just watch ♪ uptown funk you up >> jimmy: what happened to "hail to the chief"? wouldn't it have been great if he heard that song and turned around and went right back up the stairs, got on the plane and flew home. and of course no trump meeting with a foreign leader would be complete without an awkward meet and greet. watch this. here's prime minister abe and his wife. starts fine. they shake, melania shakes, everybody says their hellos and, okay, now, as they turn away, reality sets in

faces as they realize they're now going to have to spend the next 48 hours -- oh, no. yes. and they did spend a lot of time together. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] show some of the stuff. they signed hats together. yeah. they played a round of golf together. look at that. they fed a group of orphans who gathered down below. [ laughter ] there you go. that's our guy. this is kind of funny. for lunch yesterday before they played golf, they served trump a hamburger made from american beef. that's what they said. it's made from american beef. i always wonder why when leaders of other countries visit they do that. when the prime minister of italy was at the white house, they served him pasta. he's like, oh, good, pasta. again. why give these people what they already get a better version of all the time. they're not hamsters that can only eat pellets. they're people.

trump a hamburger in japan, make him a hamburger with japanese beef. maybe this is crazy. maybe pull him off the children's menu for five seconds and serve him a bowl of noodles or something. it's japan. [ cheers and applause ] we have a burger for lunch and a steak for dinner. beef is donald trump's favorite thing to eat and start. [ laughter ] this is a 12-day trip. the longest asia trip by a president since george h.w. bush back in 1991. basically the republicans are trying to get this tax plan passed, and they're like, you know what, mr. president? go to asia, have fun, eat steak, try not to start a war, we'll be fine. we have billionaires who need money over here. remember anthony weiner? the only politician who had more trouble with twitter than donald trump? anthony weiner today began a 21-month prison sentence for sexting with a minor. [ audience moaning ] oh, you didn't hear about that? how long until he gets a little drunk on toilet wine

through a prison pay phone? [ laughter ] congratulations are in order for shalane flanagan who yesterday became the first american woman in 40 years -- [ cheers and applause ] -- to win the new york city marathon. [ cheers and applause ] it's a 26-mile-long race. she finished in 2:26:53. i honestly don't think i could drive 26 miles in new york in 2 hours and 26 minutes. she beat a three-time winner from kenya, mary keitany. defending champ. she may have been a little overconfident. halfway through the race she stopped at shake shack and had an order of cheese fries. nice to see an american women win something this year. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a jam packed show for you tonight. from the battleship "iowa" down in san pedro, california, music from brad paisley and john fogerty. [ cheers and applause ] a special concert going on for our men and women in uniform.

shortstop carlos correa is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] by the way, l.a. is the only city where carlos correa wouldn't get booed after winning the world series. in case you missed it, not only did carlos help win a world series. moments after the game, he did this. >> taking another big step in my life. daniella rodriguez, you make me the happiest man in the world. will you marry me? >> oh, my god. >> will you marry me? >> oh, my god. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they got engaged on the field. by the way, ten seconds later security came and made her go back on the other side of the gate. [ laughter ] so carlos is here tonight with his new fiancee and this is good, too. this is from the astros victory parade in houston on friday where a woman accidentally dropped her hat from the seventh level of a parking structure.

pitch in to return the hat to its rightful owner. okay. here we go. see the hat? it's going up level by level. this is really teamwork right here. and they -- wait. we still have -- oh! oh, but wait. it's like donkey kong jr. here. and they keep throwing it up. and -- but wait? she snatches it and throws it up, and the rightful owner of the hat once again has it. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know why that was exciting, but it was. carlos correa will be here shortly. idris elba is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] you can see idris in the

one at the box office this weekend. "thor ragnarok." made $100 million and deservedly so. it's very good. the best marvel movie yet. whenever there's a big blockbuster film like this, we run it by our in-house movie critic yehya. yehya loves movie stars and has a lot of time to stalk them while they're in restaurants. here he is talking about the movie "thor ragnarok." >> action! action! hi, it's me, yehya. i'm talking about the new movie. the new movie behind me toro ranjerrikon. >> here we go. >> the movie like a lot of action, a lot of magic, a lot of everything. this australian guy, he's going name hansween something. >> that doesn't sound right. >> that's true. >> she look like the cow, too much, you know, something in his head. that's lady, her name cate blanket. she's the fat lady fro

movie and this guy jeff golding is in the movie called "he kill the alien in the white house with willie smith." he's in the movie "flight." you know the flight outcome and he make swat -- oh. and you know, the guy mark ruffalo. and he do movie, mark ruffalo, he do movie with leo. the movie is called "butter island." the long time the green guy, the wrestling guy is joe frogono. you know him. and then the hulk, the movie with mark ruffalo. he's the one arrgghh! the movie is like 3-d. and you watch it with no glasses come in your face. and somebody wants it more like 3-d, come, come, come in your face and your eyes boo!

there's a very good movie, go see the movie, and good luck! cut! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, yehya. thanks to your nipples too. we're going to take a break. when we come back, a major announcement from diddy that could change the face of his face as we know it and a very special new remix of "stranger things" so stick around. when you're close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment? if you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. with taltz, up to 90% of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. in fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin.

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[ laughter ] >> guillermo: i don't know, my wife -- >> jimmy: that's why. your wife. daylight savings time. it goes back to agrarian time when american farmers needed an extra hour in the day to scroll through instagram. [ laughter ] now it's really just microwave oven confusion day. but this was big. on saturday, on the occasion of his 48th birthday, we got very big news from sean combs who is now the artist formerly known as diddy. >> hey, what's up? i have some very serious, serious news. i've been planning on this. i decided -- i know it was risky, but i knew it could come off as corny to some people like, yo, i decided to change my name again. [ laughter ] i'm just not who i am before. i'm something different. so my new name is love, aka

brother love. i will not be answering to puffy, diddy, puff daddy or any of my other monikers, but love or brother love. >> jimmy: wait a minute. did he say butt love? >> but love. >> jimmy: i think he did, yeah. wow. [ applause ] i think he meant to say love or brother love. diddy made this decision after carefully consulting several bottle of chiroc. [ laughter ] this is the latest -- what names has he had? he started with his real name sean combs. he became sean "puffy" combs, then puff, puffy, puff daddy, p-diddy, sean john and wilford brimley. right? [ laughter ] isn't that right? at this point i feel sorry for his mailman. i've got a package. i don't know, here you go. you know what this means, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: you got to change the sign. >> guillermo: all right. >> jimmy: you know what? we had quite a streak going.

now we're starting over. have you guys been watching the new season of "stranger things" on netflix? [ cheers and applause ] a lot of people have. it's very popular. the show, it's a great combination of new and classic. it's a formula that really works for them. full of references from the '80s. now netflix, with the next incarnation of the show, is taking that a step further with a 90 spinoff series that teams the kids from hawkins, indiana, with two beloved characters from the '80s. larry and balki. >> tonight on net flex, larry and balki are back. and things are stranger than ever. >> cousin larry, my sister's uncle's dog's nephew needs a place to stay. >> balki, i told you -- >> there he is now. >> who is this? >> his name is dem. >> dem who? >> demogorgan. >> is he irish?

nice to meet you mr. o'gorgon. >> he could use a breath mint. >> with his off the wall style. >> please! >> you shouldn't have. no, i mean that, you shouldn't have. >> to his lack of boundaries. >> which one of you used my toothbrush? >> to his zany antics. >> dem, could you get that? >> trick or treat! >> anybody here? >> this place is spooky. >> it's halloween. it's supposed to be spooky. >> hey, guys, the candy's over there. >> yeah, let's take some and leave. ♪ >> not again. >> he's turning both of their lives -- >> dem, we need you to leave.

>> just because you kill all our friends. >> upside down. >> we about were just kidding! >> just american joke! of course you can stay. don't be ridiculous. cousin, now we are so happy. we do the dance of joy. ♪ da da da da da da ♪ hey hey hey hey [ laughter ] ♪ standing tall ♪ by the wings of our dreams ♪ rise and fall on the wings of our dreams ♪ ♪ the three of us are stuck with each other ♪ ♪ we're perfect stranger things ♪ ♪ our life and our dreams ♪ nothing's going to stop us ♪ nothing's going to stop us now ♪ >> perfect stranger things tonight at 8:00 followed by a whole ne

>> wait, i'm a single dad of three kids. ah! >> only on netflix. >> jimmy: real perfect strangers is on hulu. thanks everyone to participated in that nonsense. tonight on the show music from brad paisley and john fogerty. carlos correia is here. and we'll be right back with idris elba! paul: when he changed his hair, it changed your hair. paul: he even changed the term "dad bod." dad: oh cool. paul: and when the all new iphone x changed the game he knew it deserved to be on a game-changing network with unlimited that could support all of its awesomeness. sprint! beckham: can i just change one more thing? paul: better? beckham: works for me. because the all new iphone x deserves a game-changing for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com.

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