there is plenty of other guys around. [applause] >> honestly, baby, you need to know that it's -- it's not you. it doesn't have anything to do with you. all these guys here chiming in. i can hear them right now. but, seriously, between you and i, it's not -- you are enough for me. honestly. and i'm -- i'm taking all this in. honestly. past couple of days we've spent together talking about all this stuff really, honestly, makes me realize all those things that i do love about you. >> i know. but i want to see a ring on my finger soon, or good-bye. i am done. i'm done. i'm just telling you how i feel. 3 1/2 years is -- it's enough. it's enough. >> dr. phil: you're not getting any younger.

>> i'm not. >> dr. phil: feel that biological clock ticking? >> yes, yes. >> dr. phil: that's what she's thinking. >> yes. >> dr. phil: that's what she's thinking. i'm not saying you're getting old, but i'm telling her what she's thinking. >> i am thinking that. he's right. he's absolutely right. i am thinking that. and i don't want to deal with that anymore, and i don't want to be laying in bed thinking about it or thinking am i going to see you again. i can't fly and see you in vegas back and forth. i have a job, and it's always a lot of money. i can't do that anymore. i can't. you need to make up your mind soon or done. i'm done. >> dr. phil: so are you going to let her inspire you or are you going to let her control you? >> i think -- i think i'm going to take the first part. >> dr. phil: are you going to marry this girl?

>> you're trying to get me to do this on national tv here. >> dr. phil: no, i am not. i am not. forget the rose petals. i'm not. i'm just saying. that's her question. she's saying put up or shut up. you don't have to do it right now. you don't have to do it right now. i'm not trying to trap you into something here at all. >> okay. >> dr. phil: b b but i want you know she feels like she has put up enough and i i it't's time f to match it or walk. >> yes. yes. >> dr. phil: true? >> it's true, or hit the road. hit the road, jack, and don't you come back no more. >> it's tough. >> yeah. i had to get to this point. >> dr. phil: you need to give this some thought. i'll talk to you before the end of the show. next we're going to talk to a woman that thought she was having a dream wedding, she was marrying the love of her life, and she discovered it was all just a big lie. [applause]

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>> dr. phil: the ring, the dress and madly in love with the man of her dreams, melissa thought she had the ultimate commitment. until she discovered that the entire wedding was fake. >> everything about our marriage

and relationship had been a lie from day one. i met john about two years ago. he swept me off my feet. we were just all gung-ho about getting married. i went dress shopping, just went hog-wild. john initially told me he was married twice. right before the wedding i found out he had a third wife and he's been divorced about three years. it was too late to go back. all i wanted to do was go forward. john gave me a fairytale wedding. it was beautiful. a fish pond. a d.j. it was awesome. the head table was gorgeous. all our friends, our family. it was just perfect. i never saw a marriage certificate. i just had a gut feeling, i asked him for months, can i see it, can i see it? he's like, no, my sister has it. finally, i just drove myself to the courthouse. i said what can you tell me if i'm married. they looked up john's name and saw the first marriage, saw the second marriage, saw the third

marriage. first two were divorced. the third one, still married. i was betrayed by him because our marriage was not real. i needed a long time to fall in love with someone, but it's not real love. he lies all the time. my heart's still connected to him, but the trust part is what separates me giving him my heart. he says he loves me, but if you love someone, you don't do the things that he's done. i just can't trust him. >> dr. phil: okay. so in august of '09, you have this beautiful wedding. but you never saw the marriage certificate. >> no. he's like don't worry about it. i have a friend, you know, who can get our paperwork. we'll be fine. and, you know, we'll sign it and send it in. i didn't really know legalities of things. i was like, cool, i'll do my thing down here. we'll get the paperwork, sign it

at the wedding, and we'll have it. we'll be good. >> dr. phil: and his sister married you. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: okay. so you would ask him about this and he would just get mad when you were leading up to it because at first, you thought he'd been married once, then twice, then three times. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: this unfolded across time. he didn't tell you about three times to begin with? >> not until -- the third one he didn't tell me about until after he snagged me. after he got my heart and i started really liking him and like, you know what, good people mess up. he's never met someone like me. i'm special. i'm different. maybe this is the time to give him a new start. >> dr. phil: you found pictures of him with a woman -- >> yeah. >> dr. phil: -- compromising pictures and you said -- >> yeah. >> dr. phil: he said it's just somebody he dated. >> i don't remember her name. a wedding band, the trinket box, the whole nine yards. >> dr. phil: the woman turned out to be his third wife of 14

years? >> i said that wrong. it was a total of 14 years they were together, but they were married for almost 10. >> dr. phil: but he couldn't remember her name. >> nope. >> dr. phil: and -- >> i know her name. [laughter] >> dr. phil: so when you found out that you married somebody that was still married, he wasn't subject to criminal charges because it wasn't a real wedding. >> i don't know what he told his sister, but she went online and supposedly she took a test to be able to marry someone. but later on down the road, we had dinner, and she says, you know, i -- i knew about, you know, things with john and the other one, you know, his third wife, and i was going to tell you if he didn't tell you soon. but i don't know at what point she knew. >> dr. phil: he told you that he graduated from the university of alabama. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: did he? >> no. no, he never went to college. he said he blew his knee out and

he lost his scholarship for the rest of alabama and he never even went to college. >> dr. phil: because we talked to the university of alabama and they gave us a statement. the school was unable to locate either a degree or an enrollment record for the subject of your verification request. so he didn't go there. has he told you now that he didn't go there? >> well, because i unravelled it. >> dr. phil: well, you're going to hear what john has to say next. we'll be right back. [applause] >> announcer: tomorrow on an all-new "dr. phil" -- the tension is building between friends -- >> is it true that you're finally coming around to hating me? >> announcer: -- and enemies. >> you're drinking every night. you're really losing it. >> announcer: that's tomorrow. thank you, curél. thank you, curél. thank you, curél. new curél ultra healing lotion. instantly relieves and prevents dry skin. your search for dry skin relief is over.

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>> dr. phil: if you would like to purchase a tape or transcript of your favorite "dr. phil show," please log on to drphil.com or call 866-4-dr-phil. that's 866-437-7445. >> this is our wedding band that we had picked out together. i went to an appraiser to see how much the ring was worth and

i find out that it's cubic zirconia. it's not even real. he said he paid $900 for it. he said the gold was real and the diamonds on the side were real. i said all you had to do was tell me you couldn't afford it. i didn't care what size it was because it came from your heart because it meant something. it was another lie. >> dr. phil: the ring wasn't the only fake thing about her wedding. it turns out melissa's entire marriage was a sham because he was still married to somebody else. now, we interviewed john over the phone, and he agreed to be on the show, but then he changed his mind. >> several times. back and forth. >> dr. phil: several times. in fact, you changed your mind several times. >> because of him manipulating me because he said it would ruin my life and my daughter's life. >> dr. phil: he admits to lying about his divorce and he also said that i basically lied to melissa about how many times i was married, the fact that i was still married, and how long i

was married. i lied about everything. i kept lying because i was afraid to lose her. if i told her the truth, she wouldn't have stayed with me. i even lied to my sister and told her i had the marriage license when i didn't. i don't even think my sister knew i wasn't divorced yet. it's not in my personality to lie, but once i lied, i had to keep lying to cover it up. >> really. >> dr. phil: that's what he says. >> he's only done it for two years. >> dr. phil: so you don't have anything to do with him now? >> the only reason i have anything to do with him now is because financially i can't do it and that's the only reason, and i have a 13-year-old daughter. and i feel like i'm going to fail her. that's the main reason why i talk to him, because he calls me every day. he doesn't even give me a chance to call him. he doesn't give me a chance to heal. he just is just calling all the time. i miss you.

i love you. i'm like, john, you're not giving me a chance. i can't even tell if i miss you or even ever love you again. i don't know. >> dr. phil: i've got a bell going off in my head here. are you still intimate with him? >> we have been. yes. >> dr. phil: even after everything you found out. >> and the main reason for that is because he neglected me for a long time, and it almost felt good to be wanted or hugged or caressed, even if there was no emotion involved with him, and i might as well do it with him and not somebody else. i'm not like that. i hear you. my friends think the same thing. >> dr. phil: well, melissa's best friend and bridesmaid roxanne is here. she says that they shouldn't stay together. what do you think about this? >> as this started happening and unravelling i thought, wow, this

guy really loves her. and as things kept unfolding and i kept learning more about what john has put melissa through and how much he contacts her constantly, he manipulates her, he's controlling her. i think now that she's gone, he's going into this mode that -- a panic mode. he doesn't have her to control anymore, so she definitely needs to get the distance and move on. >> dr. phil: have you talked to him since you've been here? [applause] how did that come to pass? >> i'm a big person on telling the truth, and i didn't tell him what i was -- i ended up making the decision to come, and last night i called him, because i was on the plane already, so he couldn't stop me this time, because it took forever to even get here. trust me. we went back and forth, and he kept stopping me, and i finally got on the plane, and i'm like i have to tell you something, so i

told him, and he just went irate. i just can't believe you lied to me. [laughter] i'm like, i've been real with you. i've given you my heart. i've given you everything i have in my heart and love you so much. and you're going to get on me about lying one time, and i just told you the truth the next day because i can't hold it back anymore. >> dr. phil: well, isn't that kind of the pot calling the kettle black? i mean, did -- >> yeah. >> dr. phil: did you say that to him? >> i told him, i said, you're just like ridiculous. >> dr. phil: well, if he wanted this situation to work, then wouldn't you think that he would have been the first one through the door here and sat down and said, dr. phil, i have messed up, i want to make this right, tell me what i need to do? wouldn't you think he would have leaned into this instead of run away from it?

>> we found out our cat had diabetes, severe diabetes, and it just fell right into his lap. we can't go. >> dr. phil: because your cat was sick. >> yeah. and i'm like, john, you know what, i didn't even -- >> dr. phil: is he a veterinarian? >> no. >> dr. phil: our staff has talked to him, i don't know, dozens of times. >> a million times. >> dr. phil: 40, 50 times. and i'm told that they camame u with this cat story. they offered to board the cat for him. they offered to get a veterinarian to oversee everything and take care of the cat in your absence. they -- they took away every obstacle, and it just seemed like he just thought i'm not going to come here because dr. phil's going to ask me questions i don't have -- >> he didn't want to get thrown under the bus, he said. he didn't want to be humiliated. he didn't want to lose his business. he coaches softball. he didn't want to jeopardize that. i'm like if you really loved me, you would do whatever it took. >> dr. phil: you are here, and i

hope you're glad you're here. >> i love you. you're so smart. you see things. just by the first set of people, i'm just like, ah, i didn't think it that way. >> dr. phil: yeah. >> you just have a way of reaching in and pulling out without even trying. >> dr. phil: obviously, intelligent woman. [laughter and applause] >> oh, my god. >> dr. phil: i would very much like to get you some help there at home. someone that you can sit down, without him, not marriage counseling, not couples counseling, but just you and your daughter if you wanted at some point, to sit down and get your focus, get your bearings back on your self-esteem, your self-worth, and recognize that this isn't about you. he brought this toxicity to you, and you need to rise above that and decide what you're going to do with your life. this is a very important first step. i hope women out there seeing

warning signs and don't want to see them because they don't want them to be true, take a lesson from what you're saying. you're using your life here, and i think that's a great thing. if you had this to do over again, you wouldn't ignore those warning signs. i'm proud that you came. i'm proud that you came and told your story. and i'm proud that you came on your own. we're going to get you some help with this, because i think you need it. >> thank you very much. >> dr. phil: okay. all right. fair enough. i'm going to talk to another couple in a minute that said the happiest day of their life turned into the worst experience of their life when the wedding planner scammed them out of $30,000. we'll be right back.

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>> dr. phil: if you're going to be in the los angeles area and would like to see "the dr. phil show" in person, call 323-461-phil. that's 323-461-7445. or you can go to drphil.com and click on be in the audience. the tickets are free, and we have a great time here, right? >> yes. >> a woman who served time for pretending to have cancer, scamming people for money to pay medical bills, now faces charges for a new scam that targeted engaged couples. >> she was arrested friday night accused of taking nearly $30,000 from another couple, promising them a grand wedding at the canyons resort. >> this is just a nightmare

scenario. you guys get engaged and you think we need a wedding planner. you forked over over $30,000. >> yes, it was devastating. >> dr. phil: this is just unbelievable. so this woman had been in jail for another scam before this. so she's just a con artist. how did she find you or you find her? >> i went on to a wedding website and requested some information and she contacted me through that. and said she only works on references and referrals, and she provided me with four to six references, and i contacted them. and we met with her, and she was nice. we let her into our home. i cooked for her. we were friends. >> dr. phil: and she paid for a lot of the things that she lined up with a stolen credit card? >> yes. >> dr. phil: so that meant those things weren't really paid for. >> nothing was paid for. >> nothing. >> dr. phil: so you had to pay for all of that.

>> again, yes. >> dr. phil: and then you had to pay extra for what wasn't done. >> yes. >> dr. phil: think of all the couples that are watching this right now that are thinking, oh, my gosh, references, seemed legitimate, got burned for $30,000, ultimately $50,000. what's the lesson here? what would you do differently? >> oh, everything. >> run to vegas. >> he would. i was like, no, i'm not ready. i waited so long to meet the man of my dreams, and she took the one experience that all women are supposed to have and smashed it. smashed it to pieces. so what i would do differently is not hire her. not hire her. i would run away as well. i wouldn't do this again. >> dr. phil: this has got to be putting stress on you guys. has it affected the way you two get along? >> not easy.

i mean, the money situation's really tough. we didn't plan starting our life together being broke and in debt, so that's real tough. >> dr. phil: it's one thing to lose the day. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: it's another thing to lose the money. but if you lose the relationship because the stress gets you and you just start barking at each other just out of frustration, that would be the real tragic loss here, and it's what's call non-directional venting. it's like you're really mad at her. you're really mad at things that have nothing to do with the two of you, but because you're handy, you just kind of can take it out on each other, and you've got to really guard against doing that. you've got to say, look, we don't have enough money here. clearly, we're all of a sudden $50,000 in debt and our hearts are hurting, we're upset about this, but we just can't take it out on each other, and you've got to recognize when that's

happening and just say, hey, wait a minute, this is exactly what dr. phil talked about. this is exactly what he said. i'm just -- i haven't got closure on this yet. it's still an open wound. i'm so upset and i'm taking it out on you and i'm sorry. let's not do that. let's stop this. let's walk around the block. let's go do something different. you have to label it so you don't do it, because this, too, will pass, and you will have a great story to tell your grandkids. i mean, seriously. just think when your daughter's getting married or your son's getting married, you go, okay, sit down. we're going to talk about this. you're going to vegas. >> and we're coming. >> dr. phil: you've got a story to tell. but you don't want to lose the relationship in this, right? okay. now, not only did nate and tina pay $30,000 to the planner. they had to pay the vendors $20,000. obviously, they opted for no honeymoon because they were broke at that point. so i decided they could use one

and so did the folks at the spa in rancho santa fe, california. we're going to fly you guys there so you can have that honeymoon you've been wanting. and it is a spectacular place. it is unbelievable. three days and two nights at the garden oasis, spa treatments, breakfast, dinner, everything. we want you to look back on your honeymoon with good thoughts, so at least we can put a little bit of silver lining around this. this is a terrific, terrific place. okay? >> thank you. >> dr. phil: fair enough. we'll be right back. [applause]

>> dr. phil: for more information on relationships, how to improve the one you're in or rescue yours from the brink, log on to drphil.com. so, curry, have you been thinking about this? have we scared you away with these wedding nightmares here? >> no, no, really not. i feel really bad for these folks, man. that's just a terrible deal. i commented. i said, man, i'm glad we're not the ones in that position. >> dr. phil: yeah. >> but -- [laughter] your turn. >> dr. phil: you keep looking at me like i'm wanting you to propose to her and i'm not. i really want you to go home. i want you to be very, very thoughtful about this. i want you to think about what i said. take your power back from this

woman you were married to. and do what's right for you. and what's right for her. and you're at a point that you either need to marry her or you need to respect her enough to tell her and let her go. so i hope you guys will be very thoughtful about this. >> i appreciate that. >> dr. phil: take your power back. don't make her pay for the sins of one that went before her. she didn't do that stuff. all she's doing is sitting there loving you. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: and so you need to be thoughtful about this. and then you need to let us know exactly what y'all are going to do. >> yes. thank you. >> dr. phil: now, if you want to know what to do to be safe in planning your wedding or a party, you can go to drphil.com. we're going to have some very important guidelines for you there. and if you are in a commitment crisis, you can go to drphil.com. you can click on be on the show. you can tell us your story. we deal with all kinds of issues here. so go there, write us a letter,

and you could be right here on stage hopefully working things out. i want to thank all of my guests for being here today. thanks guys. so long. [applause] see y'all.

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