why'd they do this? i don't know, but i'm gonna find out. you can believe that. [sighs] come on. let's go get your mom. where are we going? i want you guys to stay with me tonight, ok? gloria, why don't we get outta here? come on. i'll take ya. yeah. i'm fine. i'm ok. i need to talk to your uncle jack in private. jack: what's wrong? gloria: i need you to leave, jack. my mom what? coming over. we're gonna go over to her place tonight, and we're gonna stay there. listen, i know that u wanna help, but just look around you, you know? look what you brought into my house. look at my face... at my family.

you're not helping, jack, so please go. really? what are you sayin', i brought in-- i didn't bring anything into this-- i think so. gloria, look, i just want to know the truth. what the hell was richie into? oh, god! ok. oh! my head hurts. that's all right, gloria. oh. whatever this costs, i'll just take care of it, all right? and i think maybe you and doreen want to get out of town for a while, take a vacation. i'll take care of that, too. we don't want your money. maybe you shouldn't be here. just--we're fine. we're fine. just go. oh. i'm sorry, gloria.

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i was comin' for you. bet you didn't know you had a fairy godmother, jack. you gave my brother a disc. what was on it? a fairy godmother all of your own. don't play me, geraldine, all right? no more games.

no more dress-up, you understand? you gave my brother a disc. what was on it? i don't know what-- no. i'll tell you somethin'. if you lie to me, i'm gonna break every-- listen to me. i'm gonna break every beautiful bone in your body. i'm not lying to you. i'm just here 'cause he wanted to see you. who? the demon king. he wanted to speak to you, so he made some calls, and he waved his magic wand, and... poof. [ding] sorry. hell of a day you had, huh, mr. carter?

ahem. sorry to get you up so early. personally, i hate mornings. where are you going? uh... she's done her job. she doesn't need to hear this. oh. heh heh. don't worry about jimmy. he's, um...he's more here for decoration. hey, you want a cappuccino or something? he makes a really mean froth. i use nonfat milk. thanks, but i'm lactose-intolerant. what? um, ahem, jimmy, could you show our friend down to her car? cute guy. you think? no.

i had my 30th birthday last month. [vehicle engine whirs] i'm worth about $900 million. i'm in newsweek and forbes in the same month. i'm the all-powerful ruler of time and space, mr. carter, and your friend cyrus... the porn guy... he's coming to me with threats of going public... messing up my image.

ok, awkward moment. look, i've never really done this before, but, um, i figure you probably have, so... here goes. i understand there was quite a fuss the other night over at the george... where's the disc, man?! your brother richard's name was mentioned. cyrus goes out with some...very bad guys. and when he comes back... your brother's gone. you see what i'm saying, mr. carter? i think we both want the same thing.

come on. come on. [telephone rings] [ring] [click] yeah? fletcher: where are you? what do you want? what do i want? talk. i said talk! jack. fletcher: tell him. tell him! con tells me you're doin' my woman behind my back. now, tell me con's lyin'. tell me that, jack! he is lying. your name jack all of a sudden? i love this woman, jack, and i'm thinkin' about killin' her. i don't even like you, carter, so you don't wanna know what i'm thinkin' about doin' to you. you're a real tough guy on the phone. audrey, you gotta get outta there. go on. he won't touch you. oh, i won't touch her, huh? i won't touch her. i'm tellin' you, carter.

get your ass back into town tonight... or you're both gonna be so -- les, you lay a hand on her, and i swear to christ i will come back there, and i'll bury you alive. let me tell you somethin', carter. when i finish with you, you're gonna wish i killed you. audrey, what do you wanna do? i'm here for you. jesus, jack, are you pathetic? go ahead. tell him, audrey. what do you wanna do? audrey, what do you wanna... what do you wanna do? you listenin', lover-boy? yeah. you gettin' it? les, listen to me. i'm outta vegas, understand? it ends here. it ends when i say it ends. [click] you've got to try this sweet & sour chicken helper. i didn't know they made chicken. crunchy taco or four cheese lasagna? can i get another one of those actually? [ superfan ] hey, america, we're here to help. ♪

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[♪]

man: come on, baby. get in there. what's up? seriously, check out her tongue. ha ha ha. [laughter] [fast-forwarding] oh, that's so good. yeah ahh. ooh. [fast-forwarding] [eddie laughs] sure thing. ha ha ha! [fast-forwarding] ahh! [fast-forwarding] ooh! [fast-forwarding] ha ha ha! ha ha ha! [continued laughter] we're taking you to a party. aha ha ha! [fast-forwarding]

[indistinct chatter] [fast-forwarding] come on. it'll be fun. [indistinct chatter] [fast-forwarding] [indistinct chatter] doreen: no. come to daddy. i need to go. eddie: ha ha ha! doreen: i need to leave. i need to leave. [indistinct chatter] doreen: no. [tires squeal] [honk honk honk honk]

[ding] [easy listening music playing] [ding] [easy listening version of jingle bells plays] [ding] jack, what do you say, jack?

you pick me a winner today, huh? did you come up with a sure thing? [click] [jingle bells continues] it's a bad time, con. boy, you're tellin' me. you remember peter, don't ya? jack! jack! no! no, jack! say, jack... when i said, "you take care of the business, or the business will take care of you," did we have a bad connection on the cell? maybe you weren't listening. hey, sport, i was real sorry to hear about you and audrey. what are you gonna do? he's the big dog. there's no way around that. he gets the girl, jack. you get at you get.

[ding] kahhh...unh! aah! [ding] doreen?

hey. hey. i saw that. caught.

what happened to your face? couple of guys jumped me on the elevator on the way up. really? no. i... no. -i slipped. you know? that happens sometimes when you get older, you know. your ticket for your mustang. you know. i got it downstairs. you probably should be gettin' back now. what are you gonna do? well, you know, i'm gonna be takin' off today. why? well... it just worked out that way. for good? for a while.

doreen, before i go, i just... i just want to tell you i think you're a special girl. i mean that. uh...in these... 48 hours... i could see that. hey... things happen to us, doreen. you know? we... we make mistakes. we... we fall down, and... we get into trouble. it--it happens to everybody. it does. but it doesn't mean, you know, everything that happened yesterday has to happen every day. it doesn't. [chuckles] you don't want to do it like me and spend your whole life lookin' backwards.

you know, it is what it is. we--we can't change our history. we can't do that. i mean... but yo-- you can go past it. just...right past it. and up, you know, up ahead... it's all new. you know? it--it's... it's--it's new. it's yours if you want it. just... i gotta tell you that your mother loves you. no matter what you think, she loves you, and... maybe you got things you have to talk to her about or some...problems. whatever. u should talk to her. she'll listen. you know. i don't know what happened.

he, uh... he worked with dad. he was always really nice. i thought i, um... i--i thought i-- i mean... i thought it was gonna be cool. fun? you know? we, uh... we had some... we had some champagne, and, uh, he asked if i... wanted to go to this party. you should've seen my friends' faces.

i don't even remember what happened. i just remember... not being able to move much. i remember, um... wanting to leave... [sniffles] wanting it to stop. wanting to... go home. [sobs] it's all my fault. no. it's not your fault. none of this is your fault.