>> rece: thank you. >> have a seat, everybody. that's so nice of you, and i send it all back to you. thank you so much, everybody. happy columbus day to you. it is columbus day. he came here to discover a new land and get great discounts on mattresses. i discovered everything at costco is not a free sample. here is smelgs. i was cleaning out my sock drawer and rearranging everything to color and i came across one of my old diaries and i thought i would read a few entries from it because i thought it was interesting to

look back on things, so i'll just start. october 15. october 15, 2011. "dear journal, had so much fun on the show today i renewed the vows of kym kardashian and kris humphries. it's so nice to witness a love that you know is going to last forever." [laughter] >> ellen: "october 16. never mind." [cheering] [applause] >> ellen: april 2nd, 2013. "dear journal. i'm so excited. they're making a sequel to "finding nemo. i can't wait. i'm waiting for mr. wrong two. mr. wronger. june 4, 2013, i woke up in a great mood like anything was possible then i saw a lady carrying a dog in a baby bjoern.

august 24, 2013, dear journal, today i sent a text to my friend miley cyrus to work hard on her v.m.a. performance but my autocorrect changed it. i'm sure she know what i meant because twerk isn't a real world. -- because twerk isn't a real word. september 9, 2013, dear journal, today is my first day of season 11. i was so excited to see everyone and give them all big hugs. i hugged the producers, i hugged the crew members, then i hugged ashton kutcher. now that i think about it i might have been on the set of "two and a half men." i'm updating my iphone with a new operating system. it's 8:30, an hour and a half past my bed time. i'm going to bed. hopefully it will be done when i wake up. good morning, journal, my iphone

is still updating. says there are only 10 more minutes left. october 14, 2014, dear journal, it's columbus day so i gave my assistant the day off. it's fun to get a chance to do things for myself. now i just have to learn to peel my own grapes." that's all. [applause] >> ellen: i'll stop there. here is something i don't need an assistant for. i like to do it with you all, though. it's dance. ♪ ♪

♪ [applause] ♪ [cheering] >> ellen: say hello to my guest d.j., that's twitch over there. hey, twitch. >> hi, ellen. >> ellen: did you have a wonderful weekend? >> i had a wonderful weekend. >> ellen: yeah? >> absolutely. >> ellen: good.

i'm so glad. i heard it was your mom's birthday. >> it was. happy birthday, mom. >> ellen: happy birthday to your mom. i found a picture that we should all look at, you and your mom. sweet as can be. look at that. >> wow. >> ellen: how did i find that? >> i don't know. >> ellen: look at that. isn't that cute? >> yeah. >> ellen: do you remember that? >> i do. >> ellen: you do? >> i do, actually. i used to sit in that chair often. >> ellen: that's a good memory to remember that all the way back then. that's really sweet. do you keep a journal? >> i do. i do. i have been keeping a journal since 2006. >> ellen: it's a good thing to do. i got yours out of your disk. can i read one thing? >> yeah. >> ellen: this was really a coincidence that you would be here today. i had a dream again, the one where i'm in a hot tub with the stars of "2 broke girls" and i thought it's weird that heir they're here today and you had

that dream. awkward. [laughter] [applause] >> ellen: like i said earlier, it's columbus day, so big ups to my peeps in columbus, ohio. everybody knows about christopher columbus but a lot of people don't know the real story of how he discovered the new world. until now. here is a very brief and very accurate history lesson. >> a very brief and very accurate history lesson. in 1492, christopher columbus set sail for new land. >> give me directions to india. >> getting directions to indiana. >> no, not indiana. directions to india. >> getting directions to indianapolis. >> and that's how columbus discovered america. ♪ [applause]

>> ellen: you know, it might not be 100% accurate but i don't think columbus was that tall. enough about history. let's talk about something a lot more educational. reality television. there are so many reality shows these days and it is impossible to keep up with them. until now. till now. [laughter] >> ellen: until now. [laughter] >> ellen: till now. [laughter] >> ellen: let's just do it. all right. as a public service, i watched every single one of them and then i report back to you, and here we go. here are some that maybe you have seen. maybe you have not seen. here is a clip from a show called "freaky eaters." have you heard about this? you may be sorry. [laughter] >> ellen: it's about freaky eaters. take a look. ♪ >> 34-year-old nicki wants to eat corn starch all day long. >> corn starch is soft. it's very fine. it is so, so good.

i cannot stop eating it. ♪ >> she eats up to two pounds of corn starch per day. 3200 calories daily from corn starch alone. >> corn starch is used for thickening, baking, but for me personally when i buy it it's strictly for eating it. my mouth always waters for it. it is the best. >> ellen: makes you feel better about eating that leftover pizza you had for breakfast. imagine being stuck behind her at the airport with two suitcases full of white powder. [laughter] >> ellen: "it's corn starch." this next clip is a show called "extreme cheapskates. >> two for one deal, we just get in and out, our energy, our money. >> 26-year-old carissa and

rick's extreme bathroom routine saves them hundreds of dollars a year on water, electricity and toiletries. >> rick uses the suds from my hair on his hair. so that was, like, two for one on shampoo. one bottle of shampoo lasts us, like, eight months between the both of us. we share deodorant too. we're only allowed one wipe per armpit. it conserves deodorant. we share a toothbrush so we don't have to buy another toothbrush. >> ellen: here is what i'm going to do. i'm going to send them a whole bunch of toiletries. [applause] >> ellen: a bunch of toothbrushes. a lifetime supply. please, stop doing that. [laughter] >> ellen: all right. and then finally, here is a

clip. this is a clip from "born to explore" sometimes what's going on in front of the camera is not as interesting as what's happening behind it. >> what is the name of this beautiful -- [laughter] >> not like this. it's a very gentle horse. [laughter] >> how is it that your horse is so calm and so many other horses are skittish? [laughter] [cheering] [applause]

>> ellen: he picked the wrong day to wear that oat-and-barley cologne. if you see a reality show that you think i should know about. $1.5 million to donating a cure. amazing. today planet fitness is donating an additional $100,000 to the breast cancer research foundation and it is right here. $100,000. i love that they're doing that. planet fitness has more than 700 locations throughout the u.s. and i'm not say everyone needs it but everyone in the audience is getting a one-year membership to planet fitness. you have to go. we'll be right back. [cheering] ♪

>> ellen: you're saying if you have alcohol then you're more likely to do something? >> i physically can't work. [bell] >> ellen: what does that mean? >> alcohol. >> neighbors have an old mattress. sometimes at night it will be like. >> "ellen" is all new with wanda sykes, comedian and mother of two. >> i have to get a little creative to punish them. >> not punish, not punish. >> ellen: it's good that you are not spanking them. >> plus, this couple became famous in their 90's proving age is only a number. >> ellen: last night i found a gray hair. i pulled it out. then the lady sitting in front of me at the movie said "ouch" across america people are taking charge of their type 2 diabetes with non-insulin victoza®. for a while, i took a pill to lower my blood sugar, but it didn't get me to my goal.

so i asked my doctor about victoza®. he said victoza® is different than pills. victoza® is proven to lower blood sugar and a1c. it's taken once-a-day, any time, and comes in a pen. and the needle is thin. victoza® is not for weight loss, but it may help you lose some weight. victoza® is an injectable prescription medicine that may improve blood sugar in adults with type 2 diabetes when used with diet and exercise. it is not recommended as the first medication to treat diabetes and should not be used in people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. victoza® has not been studied with mealtime insulin. victoza® is not insulin. do not take victoza® if you have a personal or family history of medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to victoza® or any of its ingredients. symptoms of a serious allergic reaction may include: swelling of face, lips, tongue, or throat, fainting or dizziness, very rapid heartbeat, problems breathing

or swallowing, severe rash or itching. tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. serious side effects may happen in people who take victoza®, including inflammation of the pancreas (pancreatitis), which may be fatal. stop taking victoza® and call your doctor right away if you have signs of pancreatitis, such as severe pain that will not go away in your abdomen or from your abdomen to your back, with or without vomiting. tell your doctor about all the medicines you take and if you have any medical conditions. taking victoza® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. the most common side effects are nausea, diarrhea, and headache. some side effects can lead to dehydration, which may cause kidney problems. if your pill isn't giving you the control you need ask your doctor about non-insulin victoza®. it's covered by most health plans. [cheering] [applause]

>> ellen: you make me happy, twitch, you make me very happy. our guests on their hit show "2 broke girls." take a listen. >> double soy latte. >> nope. >> i'll have a double shot half caffe. >> that's not what i said. >> tall caffe half caffe? >> you're good at this. you should work at starbucks. >> ellen: please welcome beth, and kat. [cheering] ♪

[applause] [cheering] >> we worked hard on that. >> ellen: then you went the other way. >> i realized as soon as i did it. thanks for pointing that out. >> know what that is? >> ellen: yeah, i get it now. >> i was home schooled. [laughter] >> ellen: i'm glad that you are both here because you have been here individually but now you're both here together which i like so much. >> you're always fun. that's great. >> ellen: and you have a family member in the audience? >> i have a few. i have my great aunt dorothy who just turned 90, and she's here

for her birthday. [applause] >> ellen: happy birthday. >> and there is my mom. >> ellen: your mom is there too? >> yes. >> ellen: that's sweet. i'm glad you're here. happy birthday to you. >> so wonderful to see you. i watch you every day. >> ellen: oh, you do? that's so sweet. i love her. >> ah. >> ellen: that's very sweet. and you have family here too? >> they didn't come this time. >> ellen: no one came? >> they still love you, though. >> ellen: is it because of what you did last time? >> yes. probably. mortified. >> ellen: i don't know if you saw, she was our guest d.j. and she decided she was going to show us how to twerk in a very special way. let's show everybody what you did. >> the proudest mooement moment in my life. i can't even watch it. i -- >> the proudest moment of my

life. i can't watch it. i can't watch ellen's reaction to what i'm doing. >> you're still going. >> oh, my god, yes. it went on for so long. >> i guess when you're in the moment you've got to go for it. >> ellen: and you were so committed to it too. you said ahead of time, "i can twerk" so i assumed you could. >> i thought they were going to show a video of me doing it but i did it live. >> ellen: fantastic. do you know how to twerk as well? >> no. [laughter] >> after maybe a half a glass of wine, she will be christopher walken before you know it. >> ellen: christopher walken? >> more like christopher twerken. >> no one cares about my jokes tonight. >> i do. >> ellen cares. >> i care, i care. >> ellen: you're saying if you

have alcohol, then you're more likely to do something? >> i physically can't twerk, like my -- [bell] >> what does that mean? >> ellen: alcohol. [cheering] [applause] >> ellen: whatever they want. there is tequila. there is lime. that's probably vodka. a pina colada thing and there is beer. >> i'll go with the mystery fruit drink. >> ellen: the mystery fruit drink? >> this could be anything. hi, mom. [laughter] >> ellen: oh, boy. you have the lime? >> what are you going to do? >> a huge glass of wine. what are you having? >> ellen: nothing. i'm driving. you have whatever you're going to have. now let's -- let's see you do something. what will you do? >> i can't twerk. >> ellen: what will you do? >> i can do something horrifying. >> ellen: let's see you do that. >> all my fingers are double-jointed.

>> i know. sorry. [laughter] >> this is why i'm such a good actress. >> she can bend her fingers. >> ellen: is it just your fingers that are double-jointed? >> it is, unfortunately. >> ellen: that's unbelievable. which means you can never break a finger. >> i was in karate class when i was a kid and the instructor tried to show us things that could debilitate someone, it was break a finger, he picked me and when he went to do it i was like wow. >> ellen: that's amazing. it's horrifying, though. don't do that again. so you two are actually really best friends. >> we are. >> ellen: did you become best friends when you met on the show? >> it was amazing. the only reason i got the part is because she flew all the way from florida, she was filming a moving, she flew out to screen test, we grew up in the woods and we knew we were going to be friends forever. >> by the time i got to the

airport we were texting like are you here yet? it's you, talk to me, talk to me, she was on my side from the beginning. >> ellen: so sweet. we have to take a break. then when we come back you had some apps that i need to see. >> yeah. >> ellen: and you have cute animals that i need to see. we'll be back. [cheering] ♪ we can't stop and we won't stop ♪ ♪ i woke up to a lightbulb

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we're switching car insurance. why? because these guys are the cheapest. why? good question. because a cut-rate price could mean cut-rate protection. you should listen to this guy. [ female announcer ] get great protection and a great price! plus an agent! drivers who switched saved an average of $498 a year. plus, allstate has new lower rates just for baltimore. switch and start saving today! just another way allstate is changing car insurance for good. [ female announcer ] call a baltimore area allstate agent at 866-650-7900 today. [applause] >> ellen: back with the stars of "2 broke girls," kat denning and beth behrs, you were on "sex and

the city" and you were a nanny. i think we have a clip of "sex and the city." how old were you there? >> just turned 14. >> ellen: 14 on "sex and the city." >> where is that brat? is everything fabulous? >> it is now. i didn't know you were here. >> and i didn't know you knew terry bradshaw. you are [bleep] fabulous your column. [laughter] >> ellen: your aunt is in the audience. that's horrible. >> they've heard worse. >> ellen: you were a nanny all through when you were shooting the pilot. >> you never know. and i kept my job because i didn't want to be jobless if we didn't go. >> ellen: let's talk about i saw

the pictures of your pets which who isn't obsessed with their own pets? you take lots of pictures. you have a puppy and a kitten. what is the name of that cute dog? >> betty. >> ellen: bet? >> yes. >> ellen: is it a yorke? >> it is. >> ellen: this is your kitten? -- >> ellen: is it a yorkie? >> it is. >> that's millie. >> ellen: millie was how old when you rescued her? >> three or four weeks old. >> ellen: that's young for a kitten. >> they told me she was older but she wasn't. you are not supposed to get them until they're healthy but she was sick so i gave her all her medicine. >> ellen: had you ever had a kitten before? there is nothing cuter than a kitten. they are hilarious.

>> they are the funniest. she still does that. she's six months old. it was a pair of kittens that got adopted and it was one of the hardest things to let them go but it's good. >> ellen: they can climb anything and get in things. that's the thing about kittens. >> little knife teeth. when they're teething like that, your hand is gone. >> ellen: puppies have sharp teeth like that too. your dog is a yorkie? >> it is. >> ellen: what is the app? >> we discovered we love to send photos back and forth with this app called "my talking pet." >> ellen: we'll see. [applause] >> i love you when it goes high. >> ellen: it's not fair.

i want to see the kitten one too. [laughter] >> we spend hours, hours, hours and hours sending these back and forth. yeah. >> ellen: "2 broke girls" airs tonight at a new time, 8:30 on cbs and we'll be right back. thanks very much per for being here. [cheering] >> take that product to the register to scan it. this is a really good mattress. i made my twins on this bed. ♪ >> i found a gray hair, i

so, um, do you want to come up for a coffee? yeah. 'kay... uh... good. so... so, uh... you make yourself at home and i'll be... yeah. right back. sure. (gasp) oh, i th... i thought we were... (deep inhale) (coffee grinder whirring) ooh... with authentic, expertly crafted roasts and legendary brews, eight o'clock is the coffee for those who put coffee first. this is nice. [applause] >> ellen: one of my favorite segments on the show is kevin the cashier played by adam, it's where i send my writer out to

play a cashier named kevin. we sent him all the way to the mall of america in minneapolis. ♪ played by adam. ♪ >> how are you doing today? >> good. >> my name is kevin. have you tried the sleep number bed before? i'll show you how it works. if you lay down on this bed here, lay down on this side. all right. you want to enjoy it for a little bit, i'll look over this way and let you do your business. [laughter] >> let me see if i can jump in between you guys here and see if i can feel this. just a big happy family. you can look up at the ceiling. [laughter] >> a lost times, like, older mattresses will make noise like my neighbors have an old

mattress and sometimes at night it will be like ee-er, ee-er, ee-er. it's very awkward. [laughter] >> right now we're just laying here. are you looking for some pillows? want to lie down? want to try it? this is a firm one there. then the way -- if you want to test it out, you should raise the posture to test it out. raise this arm up above your head. that way. yeah. like up like you're reaching way up, then if you want to stick this leg out off the end of the bed, there we go, and then if you put this leg back as far as you can. there you go. how does that feel? feels all right?

get comfortable there. close your eyes. i'm not tired. there is a picture. this is our latest memory foam mattress if one of you wants to lay down on either side i'll show you how it works. if you want to roll over. and then if you roll on to your backs. lay on your sides. if you lay on your other sides. then if you want to roll all the way over and just come back to that same side again. stay still and roll across in to her. there you go. and then if you can go roll back all the way to this side. [laughter] >> see how the memory foam is? it can take almost anything.

jump on it as hard as you want. how many can i put you down for? if you move over a little bit there. in the middle. [laughter] >> if you want to get that up to the register to scan it. [laughter] >> this is a really good mattress. i made my twins on this bed. [laughter] >> this bed is great for -- [laughter] >> we'll talk numbers later. right now we'll talk sleep numbers. ♪ [laughter]

>> did you guys want to buy the bed? >> no. do you ever watch "ellen degeneres"? you're on the "ellen degeneres show" right now. wave to ellen. [laughter] >> thank you. [applause] [cheering] >> ellen: i've got to call that guy. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ >> no, no. ♪ ♪ ever since mom and dad have been working with viva,

people have been daring them to clean up tough messes. my fans think a paper towel can't handle this. ♪ that is tough when wet. [ peggy ] grab viva and break the rules on all your tough messes.

he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me. he loves me not. ♪ he loves me! that's right. [ mom ] warm and flaky in 15, everyone loves pillsbury grands! [ girl ] make dinner pop! wears off. [ female announcer ] stop searching and start repairing. eucerin professional repair moisturizes while actually repairing very dry skin. the end of trial and error has arrived. try a free sample at eucerinus.com. >> next ellen, "wanda sykes," plus this couple became famous in their 90's. >> ellen: last night i found a gray hair, i pulled it out and the lady in front of me at the movie said "ouch" so i stopped. [applause] [cheering] >> ellen: since fall is here, i thought i would make three of my

audience members. it's time to play "no or go." >> ellen: here we go. you're excited, right? we have jessica lopez. where are you from? what do you do? >> i'm from cape town, i'm a business major and minor. >> ellen: tina. you've got a fan base. what do you do? >> i'm a mom. >> ellen: you're a mom? >> yeah. i'm a great mom. >> ellen: you're a great mom. and vicky martin. >> yes. [cheering] >> ellen: where are you from? what do you do? >> i'm from san dimas, and i'm an i.t. analyst. >> ellen: these are questions all about columbus day. something like that. i think. they may not be. i don't know what they are.

columbus set sail on the nina -- this is for you, jessica. set sail on the nina, the pinta and the santa maria. what does miley cyrus ride? >> "wrecking ball." >> ellen: you remain up there. tina, here we go. the academy awards is one of the most watched television events in america. which beautiful talented celebrity is hosting the oscars this year? >> ellen degeneres. >> ellen: that is right. [applause] >> ellen: vicky, america's national symbol is the bald eagle. name another famous bald american. a bald american. >> oh, my god. the guy who is in the fast cars. the one that just -- the movies with the fast cars.

somebody else. yul brynner. >> ellen: i will accept yule brinner. that was wonderful to come up with -- i will accept yul brynner. what's the san francisco treat? >> i don't know. >> ellen: don't yell at me. >> i'm sorry, i'm sorry. candy? i don't know. what are we talking about? no, no, no. no. >> ellen: it's ♪ rice-a-roni, the san francisco treat ♪ [cheering] >> ellen: all right. once you get the first one out

of the way, it's really easy, tina. here we go, gina. sxroesement and yellowstone are two of our -- >> ellen: yosemite and yellowstone are two of our most popular parks. name one of the characters from "parks and rec." one of the stars from "parks and rec." >> you. you have been on >> ellen: no. >> ok. >> ellen: nope. >> will ferrell. >> ellen: once one person falls, the crocodiles are not as hungry as they usually are. >> will ferrell? >> ellen: no. i think you're wonderful but i will see you later. >> you love you, ellen. >> ellen: love you too. [cheering] >> ellen: all right. vicky. costars in the movie "step up

five" how many steps are there to the top of the u.s. capital building? >> five. >> ellen: so very close. 365. but you have to get down eventually so i'll see you in a minute, ok? >> all right. [applause] >> ellen: that's how you play. "know or go." >> ellen: you're going a 50-inch insignia tv. we'll be right back. ♪ and we won't stop can't you

see it's we who own the night can't you see we can't stop

>> ellen: our next guest is simply one of the most talented 20-year-olds i know, please here to welcome "i can't stop" please welcome miley cyrus.

♪ hands in the air like we don't care because we can have so much fun can't i get a hell no because we're gonna go all night till we see the sunlight, all right, so lada di da di we like to party dancing with miley doing whatever we want this is our house, this is our rules, we can't stop, and we won't stop, can't you see it's we who own the night, can't you see it's

who bout that life and we can't stop and we won't stop because we run things things don't run we, we don't take nothing from nobody, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah ah, ah to my home girls here with the big butt shaking it like we at a strip club remember only god can judge you, forget the haters because somebody loves you, and everyone in line in the bathroom, trying to get a line in the bathroom, we're all so turned up here, getting turned up, yeah, yeah, so la da di da di, we like to party dancing with miley, doing

whatever we want this is our house, this is our rules, we can't stop, and we won't stop can't you see it's we who own the night, can't you see it's we who about that life we can't stop, and we won't stop because we run things, things that done run we, we don't take nothing from nobody, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ it's party we can do what we want to it's our party we can love who we want to it's our party we can song if we want to it's our house i can sing what i want to

yeah, yeah ooh, oh, we don't take nothing from nobody, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah oh, we can do what we want, we can do what we want to ♪ >> thank you, geis, so much. [cheering] >> thank you, guys, so much. [cheering] >> yes. [bell] >> oh. [laughter] [ female announcer ] we take away your stuffy nose.

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that you're someone very special. now we're bringing our smooth, creamy caramel to popcorn. discover new werther's original caramel popcorn. only huggies diapers to stop leaks better. to prove it, we asked real parents to put them to the test at a super stretchy baby yoga class. can our flexible waistband survive the upward facing bottom pose? quires mucho! all good. pick up your feet! see for yourself how only huggies diapers have a flexible surefit design with better protection than pampers baby dry. huggies, the brand parents trust. >> straight ahead on 11 news at 5:00, the inner loop harshly

reopened after a deadly crash in baltimore county. latebreaking details, coming up to reflect i'm jayne miller. a grocery store shutting down, and no longer able to swallow the city's bottle tax. >> doug gansler

[applause]

>> ellen: thanks to kat dennings and beth behrs. this is going to be sidekick. >> what? >> ellen: so you both are going to act it out. and you are going to -- >> ok. >> ellen: i will guess. >> oh, what? tango. >> ellen: yes. [bell] [laughter] >> ellen: exciting. [laughter] >> i pass. >> we can't do this in a dress. >> leapfrog. >> yes. [bell] >> arm wrestling. [laughter] >> ellen: you let her win.

>> yes, yes. >> ooh. >> ellen: yes. [bell] >> we're good at this. yes. oh, oh. >> ellen: revolving door. >> yes. [cheering] >> ellen: i want to thank kat and beth and miley cyrus. see you tomorrow. be good to one another. bye bye. [cheering] [applause] ♪ ♪ >> life can take you almost anywhere, and that's exactly where american airlines flies. book your travel now on aa.com. anyway.

>> you're watching wbal-tv 11 news. live, local, latebreaking. this is wbal-tv 11 news at 5:00 p.m. >> right now on 11 news at 5:00, a live look at the situation on the inner loop of the beltway in baltimore county. heavy delays continue at this hour, but two left lanes have reopened to motorist's within the last 20 minutes. we have been hollowing the story since early this afternoon, quite rightly asked we have been following this story since early this evening, quite frankly. >> hats right. it happened on the eastbound lanes just past belair road. traffic has been closed for the past five hours. there has been one fatality in this accident. we do not know about a possible cause.