>> ellen: thank you. thanks a lot. have a seat. yes, i say yes to that, and i send it all back to you. thank you very much, everybody. >> ellen: are you excited? halloween is almost here. it's exciting, right? yeah. i'm getting ready early this year. i stopped dusting my house in june. [laughter] >> ellen: do you have your halloween costumes picked out? everybody know? no? if you're thinking about going as a couple, miley cyrus and robin thicke are the most popular costumes. that is going to be the most popular costume this year as a couple. be careful you don't go home

with someone else because they're all going to look alike. be careful you've -- you go home with the right person. it's halloween. every year they come up with more sexy costumes. we spend six months getting ready for swimsuit season and now we have to get in shape for halloween. how about the old costumes like frumpy doctor? they used to have sexy nurse and sexy school girl but now they're making everything sexy. it's ridiculous. i'm going to show you some costumes. these are real costumes. this is a sexy slice of pizza. what is sexy about pizza? does anybody -- does that ever happen? we have a nice, romantic dinner and then you slip into the pizza costume, the one with the black olives, you know it. here is another one. the sexy ear of corn.

it's perfect too wh thi i you're going to go with someone as a sexy ear of corn is a sexy dental floss. that's what you go as. here is one more. this is a sexy chocolate chip cookie. is she on the phone right there? i think she's on the phone. hello, i'm regretting my halloween costume. then there is a bite taken out of it because there is nothing more sexy than a half-eaten chocolate chip cookie. i hope this gave you some ideas. no matter what you wear, make sure you wear something that's very comfortable to dance in. [cheing] ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ [applause] [cheering] ♪ ♪ >> ellen: everybody say hello to my guest d.j., jason derulo. how are you doing? >> fantastic. >> ellen: great to have you.

you look great. >> thanks so much. you do too. >> ellen: that's i didn't said it so you would say it back. will you be dressing up for halloween? >> i'm going to dress up this year. i'm one of those kids that didn't get costumes. my mom dressed me up as pillow case man and towel boy, i'm 24 so it's time to really go big. >> ellen: good. do you have ideas or can i give you some? >> please give me some ideas. i have no idea. >> ellen: what about sexy food is popular this year because everything is sexy. yocoulbe like a sexy burrito. [laughter] >> i like that. wow. >> ellen: here is a really clever one i thought of. if you want to go a clever way, you could go as jason deruler. >> i like that. [applause]

>> ellen: jason deruler. and i use the word "clever" very loosely. if that's too much work, you can take your shirt off and go as sexy jason derouleau. >> sexy underwear. >> ellen: yeah. you're representing with the underwear. >> absolutely, always. >> ellen: thanks. [cheering] >> ellen: i am so sorry to tell you, you have to do that again because we missed it on camera. so your new single is called

"marry me being," is that correct? when are you going to propose to joan srk is tt what's happening? you write the song fit tn u propose? >> yes. it's like a natural progression, know what i'm saying? basically the song is saying how amazing that moment will be when i get down on one knee and make that decision to do that. i know a new chapter in my le will begin,ut it wil b a beautiful chapter. >> ellen: when? >> when the time is right. >> ellen: that's what i'm saying. when? >> when the time is right. >> ellen: do you think like in the next few months? >> soon is relative, though. >> ellen: that's why i'm saying let's narrow it down. [laughter] >> ellen: she asked me to ask you. [laughter] >> ellen: all right. i'll let you off the hook. so you're about to start filming with the 50 shades of gray." the male lead dropped out because after he was cast there was backlash which also i believe is the name of something

that happens in chapter 12 so now they're saying they may have to recast both the male and female leads so i thought it might be a good idea to remind everybody about the audition that i did. it was -- it was for the audio book, and i'm pretty sure i nailed it back then. "50 grades of shay by e.l. james read by ellen degeneres. [bleep] >> he grabs me suddenly and yanks me up against him, one hand at my back holding me to him and the other hand -- oh, my d, i'mot goi to say that. is it ok if i paraphrase so that i don't say the exact words but it's more like i'm going to put it in my own words. paraphrase. you will get the same -- but i'm just not going to say t wor th -- he guides his hand across my -- secret garden. [laughter]

>> ellen: that's ok. i apologize. haircut. oh. [laughter] >> ellen: suddenly he took out his -- balpene hammer. oh. oh, ah. [laughter] >> ellen: panties. [laughter] [bleep] >> ellen: don't forget the key. thank god there are no pictures in here. this is -- well, i don't think you should use a spatula for that. if you go to the house, don't eat the pancakes.

do not eat the pances. i'a bad girl. yeah. yeah. yeah, girl, oh, i like it. [laughter] >> ellen: so hard, yes. [laughter] [applause] [cheering] >> ellen: call me. listen. if i know my audience at all, i know you're sitting there thinking, "ellen, what's new at the u.s. treasury deptment? last week they released a brand new $100 bill. did you hear about this? it has a lot of new features. it's clear. it has smoother edges. a fingerprint i.d. -- i'm thinking of the new iphone i'm sorry, people have questions about the new bill, the government is shut down, i want to help so i put together this public-service announcement to explain everything you need to know. >> on october 7, u.s. treasury

introduced a redesigned $100 bill. these new bills have raised printing and color-shifting ink. you can verify the authenticity by tilting the bill to see the change in color. the new $100 will be more secure, and last longer than, the previous version, and if you have any older $100 bills please send them to ellen degeneres care of the ellen degeneres show. a message of the ellen degeneres show. taking the money and making it funny. >> ellen: you're welcome. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ [applause] >> ellen: what do you attribute to the success of a long marriage? >> i give in. [laughter] >> pulled down his pants, grabbed himself and was laughing and chasing the other kids

around t pygrod. so he's out there, ah. >> next, all new "ellen." owen wilson and woody harrelson from the film. plus halloween costume ideas. >> ellen: what are you supposed to be? yore honey, then ♪ ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's wonderful now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's so groovy now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's wonderful now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ with a fresher bum. can i talk to you about... bums? your nerves kick in, you've got to go.

is toilet paper enough? no you want that. and you want that in every port-a-let. you need the dream team. combo! imagine how great it would feel on your bum. mmmm... yeah that's the face, isn't it? mmmmmm... [ cherry ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. so let's talk about your bum on facebook. off to my next destination.

[cheering] >> ellen: our next guest proved it's never too late to be tv stars. take a look. >> my name is lee kaufman. my name is morte kaufman. now that we're getting older. >> let's soap it up.

>> look at this. it's got a handlon t. ion't have to climb up. this yellow part here catches a lot of the dust, and did you notice how clean it looks? morty, are you listening? >> ellen: from valley stream, new york, please welcome lee and morty kaufman. [cheering] [applause] ♪ >> ellen: thank you for being here. i think everybody loves that commercial. everybody who has seen that commercial. i'm a big fan of the swifrnser anyway, i'm a fan of the product and i'm a fan of you. can askou how old you are? >> we're both 91.

>> ellen: 91 years old. [applause] >> ellen: you're standing on a chair like that. that made me so nervous. >> me too. >> ellen: i bet. like, "don't do that." you have been married 44 years. >> yes. we were both widowed at an early age inur early 40's, and my son, scottie, needed some reading remediation so lee was the teacher, and i went and i said to her, "scotty can't read for beans. what are you going to do about it?" >> exactly. >> she wasn't fazed by it. i came back the next time. and i said i'm not interested in discussing scottie. would you care to go out with

me?" from that point, romance blossomed. it was great. >> i must add. >> ellen: yes? >> that scottie learned to read very well. >> ellen: you didn't completely ignore scottie. >> absolutely not. >> ellen: how did you end up -- you're not actors. how did you end up in this commercial? >> fell into our laps. our daughter, myra, knew a casting director who asked if she knew a mature couple, over 70. [laughter] >> we fit the bill, and they came, they checked us out, they found us suitable. >> ellen: right. [laughter] >> and they tried it, and from that point on, it's been amazing. >> ellen: i'll bet it has. do you get recognized? >> do we ever. anywhere. in the supermarket. the grocery store line. in the bank. >> ellen: do you like getting

recognized? >> people are very nice. >> very pleasant, very pleasant. >> stimulating. >> ellen: you have to worry about when you go out. >> that's true. no dirty shirts. no spills. >> ellen: 44 years, and by the way, did you use the swifrnser before? you are obviously -- did you use the swifrnser before? >> ellen: did you use the swirpsfer before? you use it now. >> since swiffer before? you use it now. >> i don't do any cleangut i watch her. >> he watches me very carefully. it seems easier watching her. i see. you have been married 44 years and i think a lot of people out there would love to know what do you attribute to the success of a long marage? >>re you going to answer that? >> sure. i'll try. >> ok. i'll listen. >> you've got to love each other, first of all. we compromise.

i give in. >> ellen: we want to make -- not that swiffer isn't a great oducto u t mehis easier to clean but we're going to help you out. you're going to have a one-year cleaning service. you're not going to have to cleanup anything. >> boy, oh, boy. >> that's very nice. >> ellen: you're welcome. we'll be back with wanda sykes. after this. ♪ >> this is a renovated prison. black people don't find that charming. new covergirl...

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[cheering] [applause] >> ellen: our first guest is one of my favorites.

she's a very funny actress and comedian who stars in the new film from amazon "alpha hoe." plea welme my good friend, wanda sykes. >> ellen: you have a pillow there. >> that's to help esther. when i don't have the pillow she pops out. this area here. that roll. that's esther. >> ellen: you call that esther? >> i embraced it. that's the roll. >> ellen: you put a pillow there? . yes. i put a pillow. that way she doesn't, like, make a cameo as much. >> ellen: "hey, on tv." it's gd to seou. >> good to see you too.

>> ellen: did you have a good summer? >> i did. i had a great summer. went to france. >> ellen: you did? >> yeah. i have been going all the time now because that's where my wife likes to take her vagina on vacation. >> ellen: what? what does that mean? what does that mean? >> for some reason she likes to go to france. she's french and she likes to -- that's where she takes her vagina, so that's where i go. [cheering] [applause] >> ellen: i haven't seen you in a while. things have changed. so what do you do in france? m sced to ask. >> hang out. vacation with the family and all. it's nice. we have a good time. >> ellen: yeah. >> you know, they stillpea french. they still allow french over there. >> ellen: all the french people? >> all the french people. my daughter picked it up.

they speak french, but when we're in france, they were in a -- >> ellen: how old are your twins? >> four. she turned to her grandmother, in french she tells her, "they speak french here too." and i'm like, "you're in france, dummy, everybody speaks french." >> ellen: did you say that to your daughter? >> i didn't. >> ellen: does your son speak french as well? >> yes. they both speak french. >> ellen: you have to start learning freh. you must know mre french now. >> i know more, but it's kind of nice not knowing. it's kind of nice. like they ask me for stuff and i go, "i have no idea what you just said." you know. "i have no idea." so i can ignore more things. >> ellen: wouldn't you get paranoid that they're all talking about you in french and you don't know what they're saying? >> sometimes, but i just listen for "noir," anytime i hear them say "noir" i know they're

talking about me. it means "black." [applause] >> ellen: which one of them got in trouble -- >> lucas. because they go to a french school. they go to french school. it must be something wrong with me because i'm basically paying for them to learn not to be able to communicate with me. >> ellen: right. [laughter] >> there is a problem there. so lucas got in trouble. i think he's -- he adores me and i think he's trying to -- you know, like trying to emulate me a little bit. we're just going about it the wrong way. i got an email from the teacher, and the teacher said, "dear miss sykes, sorry to contact you like this but today at recess, lucas pulled down his pants, grabbed himself and was laughing and chasing the other kids around the playground.

so he's out there, "ah, ha ha ha, hha h h -- u kn. [laughter] >> and she said -- but "as soon as i told him to stop he quickly pulled up his pants and stopped." then she said "that i explained him it was very inappropriate and it wasn't fny" a he responded to me in english, "it is funny." "it is funny." ok, so she got the french teacher to explain to him in french what he did was wrong and it wasn't funny. and she said lucas turned to her and said, "it is funny. it is funny." so she continued to ask me to talk to him. i sent her an email back, "miss karen, i'm so sorry this happened today. i promise you i will speak with lucas and this behavior will not

happen again because it is very inappropriate. but as a professional comedian, i must say, it is funny. [applause] >> it is funny. >> ellen: you've got his back. it's adorable. and you are still doing stand-up. you're still traveling. >> i was out on the road this past weekend. i love it, i love it. it's the -- hearing the audience. you get this every day, people laughing. it's like a drug. >> ellen: it's a wonderful feeling to hear people laugh. >> i have to go travel to get it. go on the road. man, some of the places -- it's the tveling that'he hardest part about it, they booked me at the liberty hotel. this is a prison. a renovated prison. yeah, we pulled up and there's bars on the window, i'm like "what the hell did i do?" they take you right to jail now?

what the hell. so you get in there and there are still cells and the bars and everhing, det me just tell you something. black people don't find that charming. there is nothing cute about staying in a renovated prison. the white people were having a blast. they were taking pictures. "hey, bob, come on, take my picture." [laughter] >> they thought that was the cutest thing in the world. i called my travel agent, i was like, "man, look, you can't book me in places like this. this is not funny, nor cute." and here is another thing. "when vacation comes around, don't book me on a cruise on a renovated slave ship either. i will so fire your ass. don't do that." >> ellen: we have to take a break. we'll be back. wanda sykes.

♪ >> ellen: how did you lose 30 or 40 pounds? >> i didn't eat more than 300-400 calories a day once i did start eating. >> want to win a trip for two to see ellen? >> ellen: if you have ever been here live, these people will tell you it teals feels real good. >> pick up a bottle of swiss vitami

>> hey, rosie. >> what the hell, louis, you're going to afghanistan? >> not me. >> really, not you, darling. not you. >> i'm being primaried by a buffalo rancher who has legally killed two people. >> men. >> ellen: that is wanda sykes in "alpha house." it's on amazon, rig? >> right. amazon. >> ellen: this is kind of like there is netflix, amazon, a lot of people making shows for amazon. the show is about? >> four conservative senators. they share a house, because that's what they really do, instead of finding another house and rein two households, they just rent something so these

four senators, they share a house and i'm also a senator and i live next door to them so it' -- you know, i'm the liberal and they're the conservatives and it's really funny because it shows them -- they're really just trying to get re-elect -- they'reeallryinto get re-elected, gary trudeau, ""doonesbury"" is the creator of the show. >> ellen: this is great because you love to talk about politics. you have opinions on things. what is happening in your mind with the shutdown? >> craziness. it's just nuts. you know. the thing is, i don't -- they don't even understand procedure, you know, it's like they start the shutdown, wore going to get rid of obama care, we're going to defund obama care. you can't do it, it's impossible, you guys voted on it, it passed, he signed it, it's a law, it's up and running, that's the way it works, you can't go back and try to redo ti

want to make them all sit down and tc"schl house rocks" i'm just the bills ♪ they're nuts, nuts. >> ellen: it's really ridiculous. i think all of us are sitting here going when is this going to end. >> that's the problem, and -- it's affecting all of us, like don't go after us when you're just trying to get one guy. they don't like the president. that's basically what it is. they're after the president. just go after him, though. don't get us all involved in it. just bust out of it. >> ellen: what reality shows are you watching now? >> oh, i watch a lot -- i love the crime shows. i love all those good murder shows and the cold case stuff and 40 -- i'm getting so good at ti can tell just by the 911 call who did it. >> ellen: really. [laughter] >> ellen: you are good, yeah. i love how -- >> i hear the 911 call, "oh, oh,

my husband, he's been shot." she did it. she did it. [applause] >> ellen: look for "alpha house" on amazon this fall. learn with wanda's upcoming comedy dates going to a town near you or where you live. fitz and the tantrums will perform after this. wanda sykes, everybody. ♪ you are out of my league ♪ i woke up to a lightbulb ♪ every little thing is possible ♪ [ female announcer ] here's a fresh take on what to do with that chicken kraft fresh take kraft natural cheese on one side expertly blended spices and breadcrumbs on the other transforms your chicken in just 30 minutes ♪ love is a bright idea

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multi-faceted color that transforms you. triple highlights that shimmer from every angle. never dull, never flat. feria. by l'oreal paris. say "yes". >> ellen: next, all new "ellen." plus halloween costume ideas. >> ellen: what are you supposed to be? you're honey, right? >> yes. >> ellen: then you're honey boo-boo. >> ellen: i am thrilled our next guests are finally here. an l.a.-based band with a number one song and alternative music here to perform "out of my league" please welcome fitz and the tantrums. ♪ ♪ 40 days and 40 nights i waited for a girl like you to come and save my life

all the days wted for you you know the ones who said i'd never find someone like you you were out of my league all the things i believed you were just the right kind, yeah, you were more than just a dream you were out of my league got my heartbeat racing if i die, don't wake me because you are more than just a dream ♪ from time to time i pinch myself because i think my girl mistakes me for somebody else and every time she takes my hand

all the wonders that remain become a simple fact that you were out of my league all the things i believed you were just the right kind and you were more than just a dream you were out of my league, got my heartbeat racing if i die d't wak me because you are more than just a dream ♪ ♪ ♪ you were out of my league

all the things i believed you were just the right kind yeah, you were more than just a dream you were out of my league got my heartbeat racing if i die don't wake me because youre more than just a dream more, more, more, more, more than university a dream, more, more, more, more, more than just a dream more, more, more, more, more, more than just a dream more, more more, more more, more more than just a dream ♪ [cheering] [applause] >> ellen: wonderful. thank you so much.

the name of the c.d. is "e than just a dream." you're all getting a co. we'll be right back after this. have you walked in heels before? >> the heels of a natural. >> ellen: you had to wax your whole body? >> i wakes waxed my entire body. including my eyebrows.

[cheering] [applause]

>> ellen: you know our next guest from the show "my so-called life" and the movie "the fight club" and earning oscar buzz for a show as a transgender woman in "dallas buyers club." take a look. >> the neckline is plunging. >> the purpose of this study is to determine if a.z.t. is helping people. >> there ain't no helping me. >> it doesn't mean i'm going to stop trying. why are you so good to me? bless your little heart. >> ellen: please welcome jared leto. [cheering] [applause] ♪

>> ellen: first of all tnk u for being here. you are so, so good in this film and i am sure you have heard the car buzz,eoe saying you should be nominated for this. >> it's amazing to hear that. i never thought in a million years my name would be in the same sentence as oscar or buzz so it's absolutely incredible. >> ellen: yeah, it's really -- so you hear about the movie. did you hear about it first? or did you understand you were going to play an h.i.v.-transgender drug addict? did you know that was the role? >> no. i had taken about five or six years off. i was touring around theod with m band 30 seconds to mars -- thank you. [cheering] >> but i wn't rlly okg to make another film. i didn't even know if i would

ever make another film, and this script came to me. i ignored it for a little while thenomeby connced me t read it and i fell in love. >> ellen: was matthew mcconaughey already attached to it? >> he's one of the reasons i decided to do it. he's doing incredible work, he's a terrific actor, the director is incredible, jean marc, a special project. >> ellen: yeah, it is. i learned a lot. i didn't know that particular story that it's based on a true story if you want to tell people what the movie is about. >> it's about a group of people in 1985 in dallas, texas. that are h.i.v. positive and they're fighting for their lives, so they start what's called a buyers club. it was basically a group of people that got together to buy drugs overseas that they couldn't get in the states, drugs that would helphem stay healthy, so that's the dallas buyers club. >> ellen: matthew mcconaughey's

character is extremely homophobic. when he's diagnosed he's angry because he didn't think it was a disease straight people would get and he goes on to help a lot of people. it is interesting to hear about. he lost, like, 46 pounds. how much did you lose for the role? you're already thin. >> i stopped counting between 30 and 40. i had lost weight for a film called "requiem for a dream" i had done it before, i had some familiarity. >> ellen: that's you when you gained -- how much had you gained there? >> that's a happenedsome guy. >> ellen: it's amazing to see that that's the same guy as the guy that you play -- even looking -- >> the woman that i play in dallas -- >> ellen: but the guy that i'm looking at now too. but the woman that you play, and so you had to -- you really care it off. had you ever done a role like that before? >> no. absolutely not. had you walked in heels before? >> the heels was a natural. i have to say. >> ellen: really? >> the wax thing was a little

more difficult. >> ellen: you had to wax your body? >> i waxed my entire body including my eyebrows. i had to waxhem three times because they grew quickly. fortunately they have. the rest of my body hair still gone. >> ellen: let's see. [cheering] >> ellen: you're fantastic in it. you really are. i can't say enough good things about -- i mean, the film is so educational, informational, i learned so much about it, matthew mcconaughey is great in it, you're great in it, good luck to you, you're terrific. "dallas buyers club" opens in select cities november 1st. we'll be right back. jared to. pplae] [cheering] ♪

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eight o'clock is the coffee for those who put coffee first. this is nice. [applause] >> ellen: with jason derulo all month we're raising money for breast cancer research. raising $25,000 for the breast cancer research foundation. [cheering] >> ellen: barbar is doing something nice for y'all. if someone hits the balloon with the ribbon on it jason is going to get wet. everyone will go home with the babar italy ionic blow dryer. right now you can go to my website to get one for $50 off. we need someone to splash jason.

hi. hi, kimberly. how are you? >> i'm good. >> ellen: glad to see you. this is affecting your family, i understand. >> yes. my grandmother, terry. she had breast cancer and it's come back. >> ellen: she's fighting this now so this is important. >> yes. >> ellen: you're going to get in the splash tank and we're going to see if we can work this out here. [applause] [cheering] [cheering] >> ellen: take a minute to admire that. i don't know why you have to have long pants on but he chose that, so we're going to put 50 seconds on the clock and you are going to try -- for each one you get it's going to be $1,000 but

if you get the one with the ribbon on he gets splashed and it's $10,000, all right? he we . that counts for something. you have some power. throw them down. that's fine. i think you're doing great. come on. yes. [applause] >> ellen: we're out of bow and arrows. that's not fair. oh, no. use an arrow and shoot it again.

[cheering] >> ellen: there is a lot of money. i want to thank jason derulo, wanda sykes, lee and morty kaufman. be kind to one another. bye bye. life can te u alst anywhere, and that's exactly where american airlines flies. book your travel now on aa.com. anyway. x you are watching wbal-tv 11.

(local, latebreaking. this is 11 news at 5 a.m. representatives . they had my back. andke the administration congress which does not have my back. >> our big story, message for veterans on capitol hill is loud and clear. in the budget stalemate which it's in its 15th day. >> frustration and anger arm mounting among congressional leaders. the urgent drive to avoid a default is taking a highly partisan turn. steve handelsman has the latebreaking development set of washington. >> good