child to bed and taking her to school raising her, then okay. >> announcer: is she accusing her boyfriend -- >> dr. phil: you go live with him and leave your daughter there? >> announcer: over her daughter? >> she needs to be a mother. >> how an i stopping her from being a mother? >> i give her a bath, feed her. >> dr. phil: in whose home? >> if i had any own home -- >> dr. phil: but you don't. >> dr. phil: let's do it! >> have a good show, everybody. place to talk about hard things. down. emotional compass and point you in the right direction. >> five, four -- >> dr. phil: i'm not giving up on you. [cheers & applause] >> dr. phil: how are you doing? [applause]

dream as a stay at home mom in a big home, with a big pool in a nice neighborhood with her successful husband. so why on earth would she have bruises all over her body and her husband, ray, be getting into street fights? they say it's all because of daughter, adriana, and her bad boyfriend, matt. now, mom susie says ever since adriana hooked up with matt, she's been a drive-by mom to her little girl leaving susie and ray to raise her. and she's in shock that her daughter would rather be with her riffraff boyfriend than her precious child. take a look. >> my daughter has become violent, abusive and neglectful.

at 14, she started smoking pot. she got pregnant at 15. we were pregnant. first two years of her life, adriana was a pretty good mom. she broke up with biological father and eventually starting dating this new guy, matt. i don't care for matt. first time i met him, he was high on drugs. matt was around the first time time that adriana tried heroin. she's now 20. she's not a good mother. my husband and i are basically raising the child. i don't want to be momma and dad. i want to be nana. our relationship is explosive. mouthy and rude. i mean rude. the last year we've had three physical confrontations. she's hit me, scratched me. she's left bruises.

i'd like adriana to stop being abusive to me and with appreciative. look around you. if it wasn't for us, you'd be on the streets. we never expected adriana to end up with the riffraff that she chose on the other side of the tracks. >> dr. phil: well, adriana says she refuses to allow her mother, susie, to pressure her into choosing her daughter over her boyfriend, matt. >> i have chosen matt over my daughter because my mom is always in the way. >> how are you? >> i take issue with how my mother is parenting my child. i believe that my mother is too strong. she calls me a horrible mother. i've called her an idiot, your being stupid. it's gotten to the point that i punched my mother. in the moment, she deserved it. i feel like i'm trying.

i'm going to school. i'm trying to have her all day long. i'm trying. >> being stuck with my daughter and being home alone all the time, i realized how depressed and unhappy i got. my parents treated matt very unfairly. they have judged matt based on not only his tattoos and piercings, but his background with probation and his addiction. matt was not responsible at all for getting me on heroin. i chose to do those things myself. matt wants to be a father figure to my child. my parents better learn to like matt because he's here for the long run. >> dr. phil: you just don't think that you should be pressured into choosing your daughter over your boyfriend? >> i feel that it's not fair that i have to make that decision, to choose my family over the one i want to spend the rest of my life with.

you can't have your daughter where you're living with matt all the time because there's not room or -- >> there's six people that live there. there's three dogs. there's three bedrooms and there's no where -- there's not an extra room, not an extra bed. the only other place is a cot or the floor. >> dr. phil: so you leave her with them, but then you don't really like the way she parents? >> i do not like the things -- how she tells me to parent. i feel like she's breathing down my neck constantly. >> dr. phil: well, she says you're vulgar and rude and attack her. >> no. harsh words. you're a horrible mother, you're a bitch, you're whatever. i'm not going to sit there and i'm not going to take that.

something back to her. >> dr. phil: but she's raising your daughter. >> she is. >> dr. phil: are you grateful for that? >> i am. >> dr. phil: do you tell her that? >> i have. >> dr. phil: i looked at some of the text messages that you sent to your mother within the last few weeks. mom: i was wondering if i could borrow $15. matt is buying me a birthday gift at the mall, and he only has $75. i believe the thing is $85 plus tax. please, i would really appreciate it. it's for my birthday. please! and then you then say, is that a yes or a no? so susie says, well, the question then is why is he -- why buy something he can't afford when you have no job? you two need to start getting a dose of reality. you're so smart, but i'm so angry that you don't think more of yourself and see that down

you can have a good life. i'm so tired of you making yourself out to be like you're going to be alone the rest of your life. you won't be if you give your life a chance. really? are you blanking kidding me? it's not for him. for the last blanking time, you don't get. it's for me. i need ten freakin' dollars. why can't i borrow it? $10. it's for me to buy something at the mall. i really would like it for my birthday. susie: use your own money. don't ask me again. i'm out and won't be home till 8:30. wow, you're a blanking joke. it's for my blanking damn birthday and you can't even loan me $10. wow.

i won't do blank. >> when i ask my mom for things, it's like she changes like my question around and it's always about matt. >> dr. phil: well, not always. you provided us another text message. adriana: you need to call me as soon as possible. adriana: hello! adriana: you don't want to answer the phone. you blanking dumb blank. it's okay. i'm coming over right now. i'm just going to break every blanking window in your blanking house. good-bye you stupid blank. you will be seeing me real shortly. susie: stop doing this. what is wrong with you? adriana: are you blanking stupid? i didn't say i wasn't having her tomorrow, you blanking -- >> excuse me.

>> dr. phil: -- that's it and then i can have her forever long after. i'll be at your door in two mens and you better take her. if you don't answer, i'll be breaking your front windows. you think i give a blank what you do? no. you better blanking answer your door. i'm blanking sick and tired of you. she wants to go to bed. answer your blanking door. >> yeah. >> dr. phil: this is your child. >> you're right. responsibility. and you're talking to the woman that is raising your child. you're calling her a dumb whore and open the door, i'm going to break the windows of your house? >> if you consider putting a child to bed and taking her to school raising her, then okay. >> dr. phil: but she doesn't have to do even that. >> absolutely right she doesn't.

she said wow, do you realize what a true but bully you are? i have helped you for four years now and you give nothing but blank to me. unreal, if it -- >> she's being nice. she sends me texts of how i'm a stupid bitch, i'm a dumb [bleep], i'm a whole -- >> dr. phil: we asked you time and time again to give us those texts -- >> i don't have the texts. if i don't have that phone anymore, i'm not going to be able -- >> dr. phil: you're saying we're only showing these, these, these. we asked you for those, those, those -- >> am i supposed to -- >> dr. phil: don't criticize me for not showing you what you didn't give me. >> you're right. i can't get messages from months ago. >> dr. phil: okay. what did you want to say? >> i'm tired. i need her to step back up to being a mom. she disappeared. you want us to take on that role -- >> dr. phil: you teach people how to treat you. >> yeah.

going to meet adriana's step dade, ray, who talked about the day he met boyfriend matt for the first time. let's say that didn't go well. we'll be right back. [applause] >> i believe matt is a loser. he has no ambitions. the first time i met matt, we had a confrontation. i punched him in the face. >> dr. phil: and later -- >> what you need to do is give her a chance to be a mother. >> that's her choice. i never stopped her from that. >> she was never abusive before she start add relationship with you. >> i'm sorry. [bleep]. >> announcer: tomorrow on an all-new "dr. phil." >> i believe god has anointed me as a prophet. >> dr. phil: he told you to marry jeff. so you stalk four jeffs. >> there was 2. >> dr. phil: you played over a chicken that was flat as a biscuit.

kill, you need a reality check.

>> stop >> adriana is violent, it's like another person. her strength is amazing. the last confrontation we had i was afraid of her. she's soaking wet 100%. at 16, she said she was going to

i never put my children off on somebody else. she thinks she's normal. >> dr. phil: susie says she's at the end of her rope trying to raise her granddaughter without her daughter, adriana's hope. susie's husband, ray, blames matt for making adriana choose him over her little girl. >> i came in to adriana's life when she was six years old. we raised adriana in a loving, caring home. when she met matt, she stopped taking responsibility as a mother. my wife, susie and i, are raising our granddaughter. matt has zero ambition. i don't like people with no amonbiti. they want to sponge off their parents all the time. the first time i met matt, we had confrontation. i look over, he's in the car. he's kind of laughing and giggling. i'm looking at this guy thinking here's the guy that is solely responsible for drinking her

so i run over there, and i punch him in the face while he was in the car. so he gets out of the car and he says oh, you want some of me? he looks and acts like a child. 6'2", tattoos all over. i almost started laughing. his pants were falling off. he had the appearance of a 15-year-old. you can't reason with a 15-year-old. i think adriana's situation right now is very volatile and has to change. everything with her is a drama on the scale of 1-10. the only thing i can see adriana coming out of this is getting away from matt. >> dr. phil: you describe him as acting like a child, but you ran over to the car and punched him through the window? not the best way to engage a conversation. >> no, it wasn't. >> dr. phil: it's your understanding he got her started on heroin. >> no. >> no. >> that's not right.

got involved in heroin? >> yes. >> dr. phil: and you -- at this point is your relationship with matt serious? >> yes. i've been together with matt for two years. i love matt. i would like to see myself together with him forever. >> dr. phil: do you think he loves you? >> yes, i feel like he does. >> dr. phil: and your point is, if he had a value system, if he cared about her at all, he wouldn't be coming between her and her daughter. >> yes, exactly. he says give me a chance. a chance? he needs to give adriana a chance to be a mother. she needs to put her daughter to bed at night. [applause] feed her. wake up in the morning and see her mom. you know what your child did the other night? he comes into my office, grabs a picture of you and takes it to her bed.

want to see my mom in the morning and at night. >> i wish i could have my daughter at nighttime. i do. >> if matt cared and you, he would let you be a mother to your child and try to embrace that. if he had any family values. he must have family values. he's still living at home -- >> he's not 24. he's 22. what 22-year-old is still living at home? i'm sure most 22-year-olds unless you're out of college, doing whatever on your own, good for you. you may have a job doing great, a lot of times 22-year-olds that don't have jobs, i'm sure they're still home with their i've tried. i am trying. >> dr. phil: you say you're trying. you have a choice, a clear choice in front of you. >> dr. phil: you have a beautiful home where your daughter -- >> where i won't have confrontation in front of my child that is wrong and any parent --

>> any parent that doesn't have confrontation in front of your child -- >> dr. phil: you're not going to do something that is wrong for your daughter. >> i'm not going to have confrontation in front of my child. it's wrong. >> dr. phil: so you think it's better to leave your daughter to be raised by other people -- >> i have my child every day. the only time i don't have her is when she goes to bed at night. >> dr. phil: why is it their responsibility to raise your daughter? >> it's not their responsibility. it's mine. >> dr. phil: why do you have expectation for them to do it? you expect to do it and then give them -- >> i don't expect anything. >> dr. phil: -- and then give them hell for the way they're doing it. >> i don't expect anything. >> dr. phil: open the door or i'm going to throw rocks through your windows, you dumb whore. that was the message.

>> dr. phil: how is that not an expectation expectation? >> it's not. >> dr. phil: open the door or -- >> i'm not going to stand on somebody's door pounding on the door when my child has to go to bed. she's inside not to answer the door. >> dr. phil: so that's an expectation for her to perform. you have an entitled expectation that she's going to open the door, take your child in, put her to bed and be responsible for her through the night. >> she doesn't always put my child to bed. i come there too and put my child to bed. i come there, bathe her, feed her and put her to bed. >> dr. phil: in whose home? >> in her home. yes, it's her home. i don't have my own home. if i did have my own home, of course -- >> dr. phil: but you don't. >> i don't. >> dr. phil: what makes you think she and ray are required to provide -- >> they aren't. >> dr. phil: -- for you? >> okay. >> dr. phil: it's not okay. you have an entitled attitude that says you're going to do what i want you to do.

your life so hell you're doing to cave in and do it. i'm holding my daughter hostage because you know as well as i do that if you don't, she winds up on the street or in foster care and that's on you, bitch. that's exactly what your attitude is. [applause] coming up, adriana's boyfriend matt is here. the young man who susie says is the cause of all of this chaos. we'll meet him next. [applause] >> i believe her parents think i'm a bad influence. i don't think i am. i stopped dealing. i've gotten clean.

and >> dr. phil: susie is heart sick and frustrated with her daughter, adriana, for choosing her boyfriend, matt over her 4-year-old child. adriana says her mom has never given her boyfriend a chance. matt says susie labelled him a dirt back the day she met him, but he says he's a changed man. >> i love adriana. i believe she loves me as much as i love her. adriana is a great kid. i treat her like my own killed.

there's seven people living here. it's a three bedroom house. it gets crowded. >> this is where me and my daughter sleep when she comes to matt's house. she sleeps at her nana's over the weekend. >> i believe her parents think i'm a bad influence. i don't think i am. susie and ray bitch because of my criminal past and they found out about the heroin. that pushed it even further. but i tried to improve myself. i stopped dealing. i've gotten clean. adriana kind of exhibits anger warts me when we get in fights arts things but it's not as severe as it is with her mom. i plan on staying with adriana and hopefully ray and susie can jump on board and go with it. >> dr. phil: all right, matt. i appreciate you being here. you think you're not getting a fair shake. >> yeah, i don't. i don't think i'm getting a fair shake at all. >> dr. phil: why not? >> because since the beginning, they never tried to talk to me at all.

very beginning all because of my past and my drug use. >> dr. phil: right. do you have a job? >> no, i don't. >> dr. phil: why not? >> just because my tattoos, my felonies, it's hard. i looked a couple places but nobody wants to hire someone like me. >> dr. phil: you said you looked a couple places. what else do you have to do but to look for a job? >> i guess nothing really. >> dr. phil: my belief is this. i think the two of you seem to have a different attitude than it takes to overcome the obstacles that are in front of you. and i'm not judging your past. i think everybody can hit the reset button. everybody gets a second chance. everybody gets to start over. i get that. but you got obstacles in front of you. for example, my attitude is you don't have a job, your job is finding a job. if you had a job, you'd work 50

>> dr. phil: so if you don't have a job, you ought to work as hard looking for a job if you had a job, which means -- [applause] -- if you would work 50 hours a week on the job, you only to at least work 50 hours a week looking for a young. how long has it been since you've had a job? >> about a year now. two years about? >> dr. phil: okay. so two years. >> the entire past two years, i've been trying to bust my ass like with my probation, trying to get off probation. i've been on probation -- >> and get clean. >> dr. phil: so it was hard for me to get the job at first. i understand that i wasn't doing enough and i could have done more. but that was a big -- >> dr. phil: yeah. people work that out all the time. they're saying here you are, you don't have a job living at home and now you have her living with you at her. what do you think about her leaving her daughter behind to live with you? >> i never liked the fact that

i mean, like i always wanted her