oscars is brought to you by samsung. go to youtube.com/jimmykimmielive to see guillermo nursed in a virtual world using a samsung v-r headset. [ panting ] i focused on being prepared. [ gasp ] i saved your life by bringing you here. i knew this day would come. [ alarm sounding ] it's not safe out there. [ scream ] [ gasp ] something's coming.

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[ cheers and applause ]screenwriter who next month, slips into a cape to keep watch over gotham city in "batman vs. superman: dawn of justice."

already! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "batman versus superman" opens march 25th. please welcome ben affleck! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. you look -- you look healthy, you look -- healthy. well, you know. you do the superhero movie, you get muscled. then muscle turns to fat, you know. >> jimmy: uh-huh, wow. i mean, really.

>> jimmy: no offense, i don't mean to put you in an uncomfortable position, but you really ballooned up. >> thanks. i didn't think it was going to be about body shaming tonight. >> jimmy: what is going on? >> thanks but -- >> jimmy: have you got a monkey under there, what's happening here? what is going on here? it's moving. >> no, it's not. >> jimmy: what the hell is going on there? >> what is this? hey, why are you touching me? >> jimmy: i'm not touching you. oh! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, no! sit!

no clapping! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's -- >> i just think it's gone on long enough. >> jimmy: i'm upset with you more than him about this. >> i think it's maybe time to bury the hatchet here, man. >> jimmy: you get to decide when it's time to bury the hatchet? you know what he's done to me? >> i think as a mutual friend it's time to, you know -- >> jimmy: this is not about you. about us. >> matt, have a seat, sit down. that's my seat. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't want him to sit. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's not a guest, that is not a guest segment, this is not a guest appearance. >> this feels amazing! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is not a guest appearance.

>> jimmy: you might feel good about it, i don't feel good about it. this is the guest chair, that's not, that's a spare chair in case anything happens to this guest. you're unioning the oscars show, nobody wants you here. [ audience groaning ] >> jimmy: my own audience has turned on me! >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> and i still feel like dorothy. i do. this is wonderful. >> jimmy: you know this is right? this is trespassing. entering. you know you could be -- i could this. >> i didn't know that. if that's true -- >> jimmy: that is threw and you're an accessory. >> no, no, no -- >> he's an invited guest and you should treat him a little better. >> jimmy: there was not a plus one on your invitation to be here tonight, was there? >> not technically -- >> jimmy: not technically, no. >> that's why i was one shroud --

the camera shot, please? please, yes, slide it over. yes, there we go. that's fine. that's how we can do the segment, that's perfectly fine with me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guillermo. you're supposed to do something, you're supposed to be watching the show and protecting me from this. >> i was actually nominated for an oscar and i can't get on the oscar show? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. dicky, please. [ audience groaning ] >> jimmy: and beat him up a little bit too! hey, that's too bad. you want to go see his show, you go see his show next time. this is my show! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, that's a real bummer i have to say. >> i'm sorry. >> know your intentions are good but i am furious right now.

picture of you and him when you were at your first oscars. now i'm not going to. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how old were you in this picture? >> i am 9 years old there. >> jimmy: look at that, with your mom. look how happy you look. >> i know, this is how i get the reputation somehow. he gets the reputation for being the nice guy. >> jimmy: right, he's not the nice guy! >> i've been figuratively carrying him for years. [ laughter ] literally. that's how he snuck into show business in the first place. true or false, you wrote "good will hunting," matt did the typing? [ laughter ] >> a fine line, know what i mean? >> jimmy: you remember when you guys won the oscar and you had to go up on stage, do you remember what you said? >> i have no idea what i said. >> jimmy: do you have any -- did you have anything prepared? >> we were young and naive. write a speech? that would be assuming we were going to win, that would be

were going to win. the whole idea of writing a speech was absurd. then we do win. matt's like, you go first! which i thought was really gracious and generous. then i realized he was coming up with things to say. i went up and thanked boston eight times in a row. we want to thank boston and -- boston and -- >> jimmy: you have to, you can't go back. >> exactly. >> jimmy: i wanted to ask you -- >> half of dunkin' donuts. >> jimmy: birthday party, your son turned 4 yesterday. and his request was? >> he wanted a superhero birthday party. >> jimmy: right. >> and so he wanted superheroes there. i was like, what heroes do you want? he's ticking off heroes. then he was like, and i want you to do batman, real batman! so i was like -- what do you say? oh, okay. >> jimmy: you say yes. >> i'll do my best. i had to call the studio. any chance someone has my

the cowl and the whole thing? what do you need? you know, just for some personal thing, matter. so they brought the costume. and i had to sign away, you know, this whole guarantee that i wasn't going to use it for evil. >> jimmy: really? >> unionruin it or anything. a 4-year-old's birthday. i signed my life away, i get the costume. the other guys are like -- the other heroes are all there. they have bits like all worked out, know what i mean? they're a little put off. >> jimmy: oh, really, who were the other heroes? >> wonder woman, superman, captain america, iron man. and there was me. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: your $your son really think you're batman? is it blurred? >> it was so motorfying. it's kids. i didn't think of course all

i had to put on my outfit for this movie. and put on my scary face. for the 4-year-olds and all their folks are there. know what i mean? it's 11:00 in the morning and they're kind of like, wow! batman! >> jimmy: then you have to tell -- no, he really wanted it. >> this means a lot to my son! don't make me come find you! >> jimmy: ben affleck is here. we'll be right back with a never before seen clip from "batman versus superman" so wake up! [ cheers and applause ] when i was a kid, every night before i went to bed, my dad would tell me i could do anything i set my mind to. believing it changed everything. i like to rest my heavy head tonight on a bed...

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i know i have a little bit of time so i'm gonna rush and say everybody, and you can cut away, i won't be mad at you. don't forget to thank your wife. i will never forget to thank my high school sweetheart and the mother of my children. i love you. and my parents who are here. i just want to... oh, here we go. everybody involved with the movie! i love you, i love you, i love you! good morning sunset. good morning night. good morning neon, shining bright. good morning hunger. good morning stars. good morning people who just left bars. good morning gamers. good morning moon. good morning morning. which will be starting soon. every day you read headlines about businesses being hacked and intellectual property being stolen. that is cyber-crime

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. good job. we are back with ben affleck. this is our "after the oscars" special. that's a great story about the birthday party. if tom brady's son -- if tom brady asked you to play batman at his son's birthday party, would you do it? >> i would miss this show to

is tom available now? i'll do wonder woman. >> jimmy: so by the way, i saw the movie and it's great. you know, for kids and for people who grew up loving comic books to see batman fight superman, it really -- it's unset settling. it challenges everything you've ever believed. i don't want to reveal too much. but i do want to say that i am in the movie. and you're great in it and henry is great in it as superman and i am really, really great in it. and i'm so excited. this is my first big role in a movie. >> you were good. >> jimmy: thank you. >> in the process of making movies, one of the things that as -- i'm a director so i have a perfectspective -- >> jimmy: i'd love to be in your next too. >> thank you, we'll talk. but one of the things that you confront are creative difficult

we have one thing that's so, so good. and another thing that's so, so, so good. they can't both be in the movie. >> jimmy: like you and matt on the show tonight, one of you had to leave. >> that was a hard choice. >> jimmy: unfortunate. but i am psych the about it. >> a similar choice with your work in the film. they had to make a tough choice. and it's just -- the movie was a hair long. you know. the stuff you did was so good and they were like, you know what? maybe what happens is he's unscrewed for too little amount of time to be this good. where else is he? we can't have him be that good and be in this little part of the movie. so what they did was took that right out. [ applause ] >> no. >> jimmy: they took what out? i don't know what you're saying. >> the stuff was so awesome, it was too awesome. >> jimmy: not my stuff? >> like if you look at the sun for a second, aah!

>> yeah, your stuff. >> jimmy: what do you mean they took it out? >> it's not in the movie that most people will see. if you like break into the lab or something, you can see the version with your version. >> jimmy: i have to break into the lab to see it? >> they sometimes keep -- you know how sometimes they'll do a dvd version, and another one and another one and another one, dredging up all the bonus clips. that could be eventually -- >> jimmy: no, that's cool. >> it's just for time. >> jimmy: i need to make a phone call, is that all right? >> go ahead. go ahead. >> jimmy: so there's no way of seeing it? >> we -- i -- what i did, i knew your feelings would be -- i knew it would be hard to understand how good you were. i wanted you to see in person how awesome you are. so i brought the clip. >> jimmy: you did? >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we can show it to the audience? >> they can see it now. >> jimmy: this is good, more people will see this than that

it's a bonus scene from "batman versus superman: dawn of justice" starring me! [ cheers and applause ] >> mr. wayne. clark kent. "daily planet." what's your position on the bat vigilante in gotham? this batman thinks he's above the law. >> the new guy in town, is that right? >> you could say that. >> we do things a little differently in gotham. >> do you? >> i know you. >> i don't think so. >> excuse us. >> people ever tell you you look like superman?

i've never heard that before. >> huh. >> like i said, mr. wayne. people in gotham need to learn -- >> you're superman! >> hey, will you -- >> take a picture with us. i've got to get this on the gram. thanks. my wife's a big fan. what do they call it when, you know, there's a celebrity that your wife would have sex with? you're that guy. >> okay. >> say cheese. >> put the phone back up for a second. you're batman! i got batman and superman over here! >> look, i think you have me confused with somebody else -- >> no, look at that! >> hey, [ bleep ] off. >> whoa! >> this is awesome. >> this is a private conversation. >> oh, i didn't realize you were having a conversation. hey, everybody, they're having a conversation, they don't want any regular people to bother

thank you. >> anyway. as i was saying i think the people need to learn they can't trust an alien with the power to burn the entire civilization down -- >> yeah batman and superman. i think they're having a fight. >> is that so? >> i don't know what's going on. yo, what up, periscope? i'm here with batman and superman! >> shut your mouth or i'll throw you off this planet. >> [ bleep ] off. >> bruce wayne meets clark kent, i love it. i love bringing people together. >> superman, batman. >> batman? that's not batman. he's in a nice suit. batman wears a flowing cape. superman has perfect vision, whereas this man's in glasses. >> yeah, but -- >> what? >> look.

i feel like such an idiot. of course it's him. >> yeah, i can see why you'd feel that way, took me like two seconds to figure it out. >> spent my life trying to kill a journalist. i'm so embarrassed. carry on. i like your column. >> hey, look at this. >> batman. >> that's batman. >> it's true. i am batman. >> you're not batman. >> i'm like a batman. >> nobody customers about lego batman. >> ask your kids if they care. we're still vital. >> anyway. i came with a warning. stop or i'll stop you. >> you'll try. >> yo, yo, yo, could i get everyone's attention, please? first of all, give it up for the deejay who's been chopping it up all night. you know what i'm saying.

guests batman and superman in the house, hit it! you know this song. yeah. take a boy up in this hole watch me crank it watch me roll superman and >> thank you. >> aahhh! aaaaahhhhhhhhhh! >> hey, mister, you okay? you're on mars. >> you've got to be kidding me.

>> kimmel. >> are we the only ones up here? >> yeah. >> oh. oh -- so what do you do? >> besides grow poo potatoes? i mean, not much. but now that you're here i was thinking maybe -- let's do a talk show. you could host it, i'll be your guest. every night. >> oh. yeah. no, no. that's -- i'm going to pass on that. but thanks. and congratulations on not winning the oscar. i'm just going to go over there and die alone. it's good to see you, though. [ cheers and applause ] >> i bought us a zoo!

ben affleck, everybody! "batman versus superman" march 25th. thank you for bringing that for me. >> you're welcome. it's too good. >> jimmy: we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars" brought to you by samsung. go to youtube.com/jimmykimmellive to see guillermo immersed in a virtual world using the samsung gear v-r headset. it should be important to your network. sign here. so at&t connects you to the things that matter most, including directv so you don't miss a moment of award season. 32? and the network is available when and where you need it. that's me! thank you! that way, you're not just watching your favorite award shows, you're a part of them.