time now for tonight's "closing argument." sarah palin will formally resign as alaska's governor this sunday. and a new poll shows her popularity is at an all-time

low, with only four in ten voters looking at her favorably. but she's still among the top three contenders for the 2012 presidential nomination. do you think sarah palin will have a successful political act? tell us what you think on the twitter page or abcnews.com. that's all for us from abc news. from all of us at abc news, have a great weekend. hi, i'm jimmy kimmel, and this is my dear friend and our show van driver ed. >> thanks, jimmy. hi, folks. any good van driver will tell you, you can't do your job without one of these. the palm pre, only from sprint. i need to know what's happening now. >> you do? >> yes, jimmy, i do.

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[ female announcer ] nature fusion from pantene. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- tom arnold. the trailer park boys. and music from eels. with cleto and the cletones. and now, sure enough, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc.

>> thank you. hi, i'm jimmy. it's friday night. welcome to the the show. i have a feeling something weird is going to happen tonight. i have a feeling that all of our lives are about to change and not necessarily for the better. [ laughter ] hey, maybe you heard about this, it's been in the news a lot lately. more than you might exact. apparently there's a group of americans who did not believe that barack obama was born in the united states and therefore, should not be president. they're called birthers. they are. the birthers want obama's election to be invalidated which i'm not sure what their goal is. are they aware that joe biden would be the president if -- [ laughter ] the birthers believe that the president was secretly born in

kenya. i always thought that he was born in jerusalem. listen, if barack obama has been born in kenya, don't you think madonna would have adopted him by now? [ cheers and applause ] right? oh, thank you. they actually -- they make a convincing case. as far as we know, the only evidence that president obama was born in honolulu where he claims he was born is his word. and this birth certificate that says barack hussein obama ii was born in honolulu on this date, august 4, 1961, with this raised seal from the state of hawaii, and this signature from the hawaii state registrar and confirmation from the current director of the hawaii department of health that the certificate is legitimate, plus this birth notice in a hawaii newspaper in 1962. and this birth notice from a different hawaii newspaper on the same day, but other than

that, there's no evidence that barack obama was born in the united states. for all we know the guy could be from the moon. oh, they have this picture of barack obama being delivered by dan ho. after reading through these, i'm no longer convinced that i was born in the united states of america. and he pointed out most countries pay half of what we do for health care and opponents point out that the people have to wait in line for for care. here, we only wait in line for stuff like that's important like, iphones and grand theft auto 4. either way, healthcare in this country is a mess. we can sit around joking and complaining about it, or we can do something about it. me, i choose action. so i sent my dr. uncle frank out to hollywood boulevard to see

some patients absolutely free of charge. >> hi, dr. uncle frank here today. i'm on the street because i want to meet people and i want to keep them healthy in case they don't have healthcare which is in the forefront of journalism right now. hi. >> how you doing? >> hi. what's wrong with you? >> i'm troy and i have glaucoma in my right eye. >> you have great hair is that real hair? >> that's my real hair. >> how does that happen? >> i just grew it. >> with glaucoma, you have been eating pasta, it's from food. what did you think it was from? >> i don't know. one day i woke up and the next -- >> cut that out and eat more cake and ice cream. >> cake and ice cream? >> cake and ice cream. that's good for you. but it's got to be legal. >> marijuana in ice cream? >> yeah. >> i'll write you a script for

legal pot. >> okay. who do i take this to? >> the drugstore. what's your first name? >> troy. >> okay. legal pot. okay, troy. enjoy your pot, troy. >> thank you. >> you're fine. don't worry about it. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> well -- and big news up in alaska. sarah palin will formally step down as governor on sunday. leaving us completely unprotected from the russians. palin announced her retirement a couple of weeks ago without saying why. ordinarily when you quit a job like this you give a reason like i was just caught in a restroom soliciting gay sex or sneaking to argentina to have sex -- oh, wait, that guy didn't resign. you get the idea. it's resulted in an 18-point drop in her approval rating and

a 52 point drop monitamong terr moose. she's -- i have to admit i'm going to miss her. a woman like sarah palin comes around once in a lifetime and i thought it fitting tonight to wish her a fond farewell. >> the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? lipstick. >> -- with the great appreciation for the press, for the media. >> what specifically, i'm curious -- >> all of them. >> do you agree with the bush doctrine? >> in what respect, charlie? >> thanks for the bridge to nowhere. great to be in the hometown of ben roethlisberger. you can russia from land here in alaska. you can shake it up, joe six

pack. $150,000 worth of class. >> i kid you not. >> you betcha. >> hockey moms across the nation. >> what is it that the vp does? >> um -- i don't know. it was a blast. every day was a blast out there on the trail. [ cheers and applause ] >> you'll be missed by all of us. here in california, federal and state authorities just arrested 83 people accused of growing $1.2 billion marijuana in the sierra nevada mountains. it would take a snoop dogg 170,000 feet tall to smoke all of that. speaking of dogs of the nonsnoop variety. this is something. babies can understand dogs. they did a study an experiment

with six month-old kids and they can understand what the different types of barks mean. it is remarkable. look at this video. you can see here, they -- >> i'm going to eat you. i'm going to eat you. as soon as your parents turn around, i am going to eat you. i'm going to eat you. [ crying ] >> i'm going to eat you. >> well, that's -- dogs get hungry a lot. if you're fast food fan and who isn't, and you live if new jersey and who doesn't really, you might want to pay attention to this story because there's one less place to take your kids out for a happy meal. >> no big maces, no fries this mcdonald's on east broad street is closed because the owner said the place is infested with worms and slugs. >> crazy, man. >> worms. [ laughter ] >> he does have a point. a new horror movie opened today

called "orphan" which should be a real boon for adoption in general. this is what the children need, a hint of demonic possession. i shouldn't say anything bad because i have a friend who's in it. i'll let you decide whether you like it or not. >> the kids -- i'm ready to adopt. >> adopting an older child is not an easy decision. >> this is an extraordinary little girl. she's very mature for her age. >> my name is esther, i'm only 7, but my mother made me look older. >> there's nothing wrong with being different, you know. >> oh, even if you're born with chicken hands? [ clucking ]

>> say hello to -- >> well done, guillermo. very well done. all right. time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where which bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is this week in unnecessary censorship. >> i will just be lhonest of th united state -- i'll be honest with you. i've got a [ bleep ] following me. >> what first attracted you to your husband? >> his [ bleep ]. >> we met backstage. he said what do you want? i think i'll [ bleep ] all the women and i said, fine i'll take the men. >> if you believe a good day of [ bleep ] at work -- you'll love this next story. >> a man in 50 states in 50

days. >> is it like riding a bike for you? >> more like [ bleep ] a horse. >> women over 40 should cover up their saggy [ bleep ]. >> he's confident of the pants. that's what matters. >> i'm very confident. >> then put them back on. i'm just kidding he's got them on. >> would you like to see the inside or the outside? >> of what? >> for the [ bleep ]. >> next time you're out there in the hen house watch your back because that rooster will be [ bleep ] your back. they're mean. >> yeah. on the show tonight, the trailer park boys, music from eels. and we'll be right back with tom arnold, so stick around. ya'll lovin' your mccafé experience? ( applause ) good...cuz here's #something else to love --, free mccafé mondays at mcdonald's.

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♪ well, let me tell you, tonight this show we have tonight can beat up any show on television right now.

from canada and a show that i have recently become completely obsessed with, it's called "trailer park boys". these men who live in a trailer park. their names are ricky, julian and bubbles. the trailer park boys are here. later on, this is their seventh album called "hombre lobo". a great band from los angeles. eels are here to perform. next week, seth rogen, leslie mann, jonah hill, anne heche, ryan scheck her, music from parachute and diane birch. join us then. and also i want to say, happy birthday to little -- our miniature co-executive producer jason schrift who is 40 years old. [ cheers and applause ] i have to say, jason, you don't look a day over 9 years old. all right. as a young farm boy in iowa, our first guest dreamed of stardom. since then he's been married more than 75 times, a new hollywood record. if you want to see him live and possibly become bride number 76,

visit the laugh factory here in los angeles every thursday night and see him on the comedy central roast of joan rivers sunday, august 9. please say hello to tom arnold. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey. >> tom -- >> very funny. >> you were getting mad at me, but the truth of the matter is, as your friend, i mean, we know each other. >> yes, we do. >> i hear you're getting married again. >> yes, i am. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. >> thank you. >> now, don't take this the wrong way, nothing against your fiance, i don't know her and i'm sure she's a lovely woman. >> yes, she is. >> but your decision making abilities in this area have heretofore been below average. >> there's true, but i have improved. you know, i put a nice firewall between the first one, you know, hot blonds between the first one and this one. i think my problem is that i -- you know, i make the same

mistakes but just a little better. but this is different. i took a year off of completely dating. in fact, because i always wanted to have kids. i was raised by a single dad so i thought it wouldn't be fair to adopt a kid. a kid should have two parents if they can. but ar arnold schwarzenegger went to china on a trade mission and the orphanages, they're over there and the kids are missed up and their faces up and you can adopt a kid. at the time they wouldn't let a single man adopt, but two gays could adopt. i'll be like your bride, but don't tell maria. that's what we did. the best plan in the world. and in the meantime, -- [ laughter ] and he didn't do it. >> that's the best part. >> it seem liked a win-win. you know, you can get two of them.

it's awesome. you know, because they look like sisters. you just get them. he decided to help. so we worked on this and i started to date and i met her at a passover thing. she goes -- i don't know if i'm really cool with you and arnold adopting a baby together. >> yeah. >> let's wait to see how the relationship goes and one day we could have a child. i thought that made sense. it has been going well for a jeer and a half. >> i still like the idea of you and the governor adopting a child together. let's not give up on that. >> no no. what about a mom? you can hire a hot nanny. he's like -- like the best idea ever. >> wow. that is something else. >> yeah. >> so when are you getting married? >> at the end of november. >> do you and larry king have a bet or something like that? is that's what's going on here? >> i --

>> how long have you been dating now? >> probably 17 months. >> 17 months. how long have you been engaged? >> got engaged march 6, my 50th birthday. so depressing. well, my 50th birthday, i rode my motorcycle, i climbed the canyon and then i parked the motorcycle at the top of it. i couldn't get it up -- the motorcycle, i mean. [ laughter ] some young guys had to help me. it ruined the whole thing. and i got -- she's really, you know, a great person. she's got my back and she -- she helps me. it turns out i'm kind of old fashioned and she's not in her 20's. you know, i don't have to impress her -- because i can't afford to anymore. but she's -- >> when will she be in her 20's? [ laughter ] >> no, i did -- i did say to r her -- i said, you know what, it's unfair because you should

have known me when i was 30. she said, yeah, i was 12. but it's going to work out. >> i hope so. will there be a prenuptial agreement -- >> well, it's weird because she's the beneficiary of my will. by the way, my mom left when i was 4 but i had -- i'm afraid if there's a prenup and she gets less than the will, she might poison my chili. so she's offered to to -- it was her idea. >> have you ever had a spouse try to kill you before? >> yes. >> you have? >> but for good reason. [ laughter ] i have -- i'll show you. well, we were trying to lose some weight. one of my wives -- i'm not going to say one which -- no, we were both really fat. being with a big woman is great because you can let yourself go, you know what i mean?

you have -- because i would -- a perfect woman, i mean, that's so much. they have to have the obvious flaw or missing a leg or something. because they go, oh, my god, your love handles -- you have to be equal. we were trying to lose weight really hard. you're my sponsor, let's lose weight. she's eating a bag of cookies and i crushed them and she pulls out a butcher knife. and she stabbed me right here. >> oh, my god -- yeah. wow. >> and the great thing about this, i had her face tattooed over her at the time. it turns out the heart is on the left side and here's my reaction. after she stabbed me with the butcher knife, and it's sticking out, i go, oh, my god, this is my skinny shirt. and i call the cops, my wife stabbed me. why? i crushed her cookies. what is her name? roseanne.

well, no wonder. i don't want to be that guy. >> well, at least you had a good reason for it. >> yeah. she really did. [ laughter ] >> that's something else. >> it was like what are you -- you know? >> is your buddy the governor going to throw you a bachelor party? >> he might. >> he might? wow. >> you can come. dax shepard is my best man. >> your best man? >> yeah. i showed him the new house and the first thing he said jimmy kimmel has the new tv. >> maybe i should have been the best man. you and arnold became friends when you did "true lies" together. >> yeah. >> do you keep in contact with your old co-stars? >> me and hugh grant hung out a lot. we went to new york, he never met madonna. she invited us to see her and then invited us up to the suite.

she -- i'm like, she likes you. you go in, she might whoop me. we go it to the suite. she goes into the bedroom and she's in there for 45 minutes. i don't know if she's doing yoga or whatever. we're standing there, it's a cake and a champagne on the table. so i cut a piece of cake. hugh takes champagne and starts chugging it. then we went through her stuff to see what kind of weird stuff she's got. we hear behind us, what are you idi idiots doing? that's my brother's birthday cake. you guys out! hugh, leave the bottle. so she kicked us out. a year later i was at a dinner party and this guy is coming over -- the director, this guy ritchie a real nice guy, we're going to date. oh that's cool. two seats across from me, i see the guy ritchie come in and i

see madonna come in. i was like this, i didn't want her to remember that. then the conversation goes and i realized she doesn't remember me, that's cool. so i'm sitting there and at the end of the dinner, somebody goes, does anybody want anything? madonna goes, arnold wants a birthday cake. only black people and madonna calls me arnold. me and you, again, at the four seasons, doing a press junket. are you okay? yeah, i'm going to go up and watch a lesbian movie and go to bed. promise me you'll do that oh, my god, did you hear about hugh grant? i go, did he die? worse. what happened? she goes, oh, arrested with a prostitute. man or woman? she goes, i can't tell by the picture. let's call hugh. bloody hell, i'm so sorry, is it a man or woman? he goes, i don't know yet, i

don't know yet! >> unbelievable. tom arnold, everybody. also see tom every thursday at the laugh factory in los angeles. more with tom arnold when we come back. does it drip? or comb through root to tip? does the process feel endless? or 10 minute express? does it disrespect your hair? or better protect it? are your grays a fright? or out of sight? bottom line -- is your haircolor the glossy, gorgeous perfection you've always dreamed of? the color that changes everything. from clairol.

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♪ hey, this, we're back. tom arnold who is performing at the comedy central roast of joan rivers. >> yeah. in salt lake city, please come out. >> and in salt lake city. and you have been doing stand-up comedy again. why did you decided to start doing that? >> it's been 20 years. i haven't ever done it sober. i thought, it's go down to the laugh factory, we'll invite unemployed people in for free. because they're a great crowd. but they leave feeling better about themselves after they see my life. you know, i started it this week. >> you serious about adopting kids? because didn't you have kids with roseanne? >> yeah, that was the greatest five years of my life to be a stepfather. it was weird, when i came into

that family, i was like -- you know, because roseanne is very liberal and freedom of speech, kids were calling her fing this and that. and then they didn't want to go school and i realized i'm the guy who's the rule master in the family. i said, i'm going to rehab. and then you're going jess, and you're going kids. so we did it as a group. i still have what they made me in remhab. i made rules for them. kids love rules. they feel safe, you know what i mean? and i said, listen, the thing we have in common is we love your mom. let's go with that. it was a really great experience. i remember one time -- never believe anything a teenager says until you check it out. janie would say, i'm going over to susie's tonight. what's susie's mom's number? oh, forget it. so, yeah, the oldest one, it's noon.

i just got at the school, a great school. really smart, expensive and just -- what are you doing at home? i got kicked out of school i said why? because this -- oh, it's always somebody's else's fault. we'll go down to the school and i'm going to beg the head master to take you back and you'll apologize to the girl. i was like, sir, i'm so sorry, if you know her mom, sorry. please apologize, jess. she's like, sorry. anyway, then the girl is -- her father is a superior court judge. i hear him say to her white trash. i'm like, excuse me? it's not good parenting, we're in front of crossroads and we're in a full-on brawl. i'm beating the crap out of the dad and she's beating the crap out of the girl.

i'm like, oh, my god, jess, you're right, she is a [ bleep ]! you're right! >> there you go. tom arnold, everybody. you can see him at the laugh factory in los angeles. we'll be right back with the trailer park boys. i don't know what thatmeans but..., if you were to los your job for some reason, the sears buyer rotection program would cover your purchase... until you're working again or yor appliance is paid off., you know, should you lose #your job., the sears buyer protection program. one more way we've got you covered... when you use your sears card. come in now and save 15% on all appliances. sears. life. well spent.

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we're back. tom arnold is here. the eels are on the way. in just one year on american satellite television, our next guests have erased the decades of hard work done by alex trebek to make canadians respectable. their very, very funny show is called "trailer park boys". >> [ bleep ] right now. he's trying to get into -- >> holy [ bleep ]. don't scare him. [ bleep ]. >> yeah! >> [ bleep ]! >> [ bleep ] [ bleep ]! >> oh! >> what the [ bleep ]? >> oh, my god, ricky.

>> [ bleep ], you okay? [ laughter ] watch it thursday nights at 10:00 on the 101 network on directv. please welcome ricky, julian and bubbles, the trailer park boys. [ cheers and applause ] bubbles, ricky and julian, thank you for being here. i know you guys are -- [ laughter ] you guys are very, very popular in canada and you just starred -- how long have you been on the air here in the united states? >> not that long. >> i'm not good at numbers and stuff. >> well, i have a friend named alex who turned me on to the show. i have become obsessed with it. and tom i know also is

obsessed -- >> every episode i have seen it. >> for those of you who have not seen it, it's a documentary style program in a trailer park in which you live, and they follow you around. >> yeah, thanks to him. >> thanks to him. it was your idea, julian? >> well, i was talking to the psychic about eight years ago and she said i was going to die soon. so that kind of sucked. >> it was a phone psychic too. >> i thought she was a good psychic, all right? >> so she told you you were going to die? >> yeah. so i, you know, hired this film crew to follow us around and document our lives so when i did die, you can take it to show the footage to kids in schools and stuff and they can learn from it. >> and so -- >> some role model -- >> what are you talking about? >> and do you guys like having the film crew around all the time? >> i don't enjoy it at all. >> you don't like it? >> no that's nothing fun about it. you wake up to take a pee and

the guy is filming you. i know he's aiming at my bird even though he said he's not. >> do you mind the cameras there? >> no, i think it sucks. i mean, if you're going to the liquor store and suppose you need liquor and you have no money, you're trying to be a little secrete, you want to get some money and the camera crew is in. >> yeah. >> it sucks. you go to court and they play the tape. >> it makes it harder. do you like living in the trailer park? >> living in the park is fantastic. it's like living in a campground. >> it is? you have been there your whole lives. >> jimmy, he lives in a shed. you don't have a trailer, do you? >> no, i live in julian's grandmother's shed. >> julian, you live in a trailer. >> i live in a trailer. >> ricky you live in the park, but not in the trailer. >> no, i live in my car.

>> in your car. >> which is awesome. >> it is awesome. you like living in the cars. >> it's great. especially once you get used to it. the problem once you get used to living in the car it's hard not to want to live in the car. i cook out there, laundry. >> what's the best thing about living in a car? >> just so many good things. i have five cigarette lighters. if you sleep in the front seat, you have a cigarette lighter, in the back you have a cigarette lighter. it sucks in the wintertime. it's told. >> what do you do for a living? >> i haulti shopping carts. i put the bearings in them and sell them back to the grocery stores. >> you actually shove them over the bank? >>. >> if you you're going and down it goes, then it's fair game then. >> it is fair game. and how about you guys? how do you earn a living?

>> i'm a farmer i guess you'd call it down here. >> a farmer? what kind of farming do you do? >> i guess i grow stuff. >> tobacco you mean? >> no. i don't know if you can say it on the air. >> no, you can say dope. >> that's what i do, probably the best dope in canada and probably down here. >> would you agree with that julian? >> it's crazy. i don't smoke off that stuff. too crazy. >> you always have a drink in your hand. what do you drink? >> rum. >> rum and coke? >> rum and coke, yeah. >> you always have a drink in your hand no matter what. and the ice always seems to be fresh. >> yeah. good to have ice on hand. >> as the show got more popular, he hired a liquor man. >> a liquor man? >> a guy that comes and fetches his ice for him. >> in the movie i had two liquor man. >> there's -- that's big time. if you have two liquor man.

>> there was no rum back in the greenroom. >> i'm sorry about that. did you have fun in the greenroom though? no? >> well -- >> the greenroom is kick ass. i will give you that. >> the food trays, they have the little things that i found that aren't food. little ceramic flowers and he gave me the heimlich maneuver and i would have choked to death and would have sued you. i sue everybody. >> you're embarrassing us. >> you're embarrassing us in front of millions of people. >> millions of people is like 2,000 people here. [ laughter ] >> you know, millions of people see this? >> oh, yeah. >> so like -- >> do you guys -- do you guys, have you ever been married any of you? >> yeah, i first got married to lucy. it didn't work out so well,

because we got arrested. we're kind of broken up now. >> i'd like you to talk to tom. >> every season it starts with you getting out of jail and every season ends with you going to jail. >> what is it like in canada? >> it's awesome. >> they have hockey tournaments. >> i don't know what it's like down here. i was in bangor, maine, it wasn't so bad. >> why are they awesome? >> the food is great. you can smoke whatever you want. a big party. you can watch sports, play video games with the boys. >> is this the first time for you in l.a.? >> yes, we were here before. >> we were? >> yes, ricky. [ laughter ] >> we had a movie come out last year. brought us down. we had the big thing. you know, what they call it the premiere. we went on the red carpet. >> i must have been super drunk. i don't remember that. >> have you ever considered lasik surgery?

>> don't go there, jimmy. >> my eyes work perfectly fine. >> well, i'll tell you, great to have you guys here. i enjoy the show. it's called "trailer park boys". we'll be right back with the eels. yea i know. i threw them out. they were old so... old! they are rollover minutes. they are as good as new. ya know not everyone gets to keep their unused minutes. and these days we can't afford to be wasteful. saving minutes... ...saves money. yea. (announcer) only at&t's familytalk with rollover saves your family's unused minutes. and saving minutes saves money. for back to school, get the pantech matrix for $29.99 after mail-in rebate.

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all right. this is their new cd. it's called "hombre lobo". here with the song "tremendous dynamite", eels. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i am el hombre lobo

on the prowl for a restless night ♪ ♪ i got her right here in my sights ♪ ♪ got a fuse that i can light she's tremendous, she's dynamite ♪ ♪ she is a formiable opponent she could put up a hard won fight ♪ ♪ got her head screwed on real tight ♪ ♪ being the bomb is her birth right ♪ ♪ she's tremendous, she's dynamite ♪

♪ ♪ she's tremendous dynamite ♪ i am el hombre lobo on the prowl just past midnight ♪ ♪ darting under the town search lights ♪ ♪ it's all worth it to take a bite ♪ ♪ she's tremendous, she's dynamite ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ]