that means it's time for "closing argument." and less than one week after launch, the government's cash for clunkers program is stalling

out. the reason -- too many americans were taking advantage of it, turning in cars for more fuel-efficient vehicles. the program was speeding towards the 25,000 vehicle, $1 billion cap, so now congress and the white house have to decide whether or not to allocate more money. so we ask you, should the cash for clunkers program continue or has the government put enough money towards this green cause? tell us what you think on the "nightline" webpage or twitter. "jimmy kimmel live" is up next. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on the show tonight, from "raising the bar", melissa sagemiller. music from jack's mannequin and from the new movie "funny people", seth rogen. the last time he was here, so was megan fox. seth believes that when he tried

to kiss megan fox hello, she blew him off. let's examine the tape here and take a look. there she is. yeah -- well, we'll find fourth sure in a minute. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes. y gray and give you color that shines on. how? the antioxidant rich ammonia-free formula feels good and looks even better. in fact the more often you use natural instincts, the healthier your hair looks. it's the healthy-looking color that shines in just ten minutes' time. natural instincts, it's all good. look for natural instincts new champagne indulgence collection.

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get america's largest 3g network and run the apps you want, where you want. check out our line-up of amazing blackberries like the all-new blackberry tour. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- from "funny people", seth rogen. melissa sagemiller. and music from jack's mannequin. with cleto and the cletones. and now, believe me you, here's

jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> very nice. hello. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. welcome. thank you for watching. at home and abroad. pardon me if i slur a little tonight. i have been at the white house doing beer bongs with the president. you know president obama had his so-called beer summit at the white house this evening. it was a chance to sit down with dr. henry louis gates, the harvard professor who was arrested after breaking into his own house and sergeant james crowley, the policeman who arrested him. there was one awkward moment they say when crowley asked obama for some i.d. but he was just kidding. vice president biden showed up too. i did not know he was going to be a part of it.

i guess they wanted to even things out racially, but they sat around a table in the rose garden. and drank. i'm starting to think the president cooked this whole thing up because he didn't want to ask michelle if he could have a poker night or something. it was scheduled to last about an hour. but in fact, it looked like they were having fun. you can see here. they're in the white house, just on the edge of the rose garden there. you see they all had their beers. even played a little quarters. that looks all right, right? tomorrow morning it will be heretofore be known as racial harmony hangover day. president obama said this is a teachable moment for the country and i like to believe it is. in fact, we went out in the street today and asked the local hollywood boulevard costume characters who are no strangers to profiling themselves what they have learned from this ordeal. >> when you see a black man, you

shouldn't be so quick to judge. but then you never know. he could be confused. sometimes things happen so quick you can't process i. like for instance, like if you like -- like when you're running really fast, like sometimes like everything is like going fast. and i don't know. i don't know what i'm trying to get at actually. but it's kind of like that though. >> thank you, chewbacca. very well said. our president, the president of the united states, is black, smokes cigarettes, drinks beer and plays basketball. that's kind of awesome. you know? the story dominated the news today. something like 60% of the coverage. even the president himself said he didn't understand why this is such a big deal.

but the good news is it did provide us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> it's going to be a threesome between professor gates, sergeant crowley and president obama obama. >> and i guess next week obama is going sit down with jon and kate to see if he can't patch that up too. some big michael jackson news today. his mother katherine has reached a custody agreement with the children's biological mother, debbie rowe. the agreement going to give katherine jackson full custody of the kids, but rowe will be a part of the lives. once a month she's permitted to jump out of a closet to scare the kids in the middle of the night. raising three kids is a lot for katherine jackson. she's 79 years old. i mean at this age, she should be knitting a blanket not raising one. am i right? [ laughter ] if i were those kids, i would make sure to hum way off key

whenever papa joe is around. because michael jackson's father joe, he gave another interview. this time with tv one in which he claims that michael has another son, a 25-year-old norwegian rapper whose name is omir. i'm not sure, omir was at the memorial service. here joe talks about the most mysterious new member of the jackson clan. >> michael may have had another child. omar is his name. oh, he was sitting right there, and everyone was trying to connect some dots. do you know if that is michael's other son? >> yes, i knew he had another son. yes, i did. >> any -- he looks like a jackson. >> oh, yes. he looks like a jackson. he acts like a jackson. he can dance like a jackson. and just -- this boy is a fantastic dancer. >> and you can see he's got michael's nose and chin, literally. he left them to him in the will.

joe was asked what it means to be a jackson. i wouldn't call it insightful, but it was illuminating. >> what does it mean to be a jackson? >> what does it mean to be a jackson? well, it means a lot of things, tina. like this boy of michael's. omar. that's his son all right and his daughter. he's a lady's boy. that's why we pretend not to know him. but he's got an album coming out on my label so i'm not mad at him. it's called "lady boy and the pizza faces". i bit off one of his toes to make sure it tasted good. abracadabra, the end. >> all right. what it takes to be a jackson i guess. supermodel giselle bundchen is in a new ad campaign for the london fog. they make raincoats and giselle is currently pregnant with quarterback tom brady's baby. so the company air brushed her stomach out of the picture. look at this. you can see they took a bundchen

out of the oven there. this is the same photo before they retouched it. you can see that -- that's what happens when the supermodel has a sandwich. they blow up. if you're looking to lose weight, and who isn't nowadays, olsen twins, you see a lot of crazy devices on tv. some don't do anything, but this one came to my attention because this is the sort of thing that can have practical apply caughts outside the home gym. >> it is all about showing off the arms and shoulders. thick heavy exercise machines are designed to create bulky machines and now you can get the long, lean, defined look you want. introducing, the new way to shape the arms you'll love. designed specifically for women. in six minute days, you can get arms you'll be proud to show off. >> one muscle i don't need help developing. if you're looking for a gift for

mom -- [ laughter ] and dad too. there you go. this is a good one. a juvenile delinquent in utah is in trouble with the law for driving under the influence of fruit roll-ups i think. >> there was an unusual police chase last sunday in utah where police followed a car that was weaving back and forth, driving through the stop signs. and when the car finally stopped, the driver turned out to be a 7-year-old boy who ran off as you just saw. he an parentally said that he -- apparently said he took the family car because he didn't want to go to church. [ laughter ] >> i don't blame him. church sucks. it really does. but the kid -- you know, he's driving pretty well. he found his way home. he did not go out without a fight either. the crew from "cops" showed up to capture him being taken into custody. >> i did nothing wrong you [ bleep ] [ bleep ] cops! let go! officer, he's drunk. i was drunk, so what, i'm drunk.

>> you're a no good [ bleep ]! >> yeah. you're a [ bleep ]! >> i know you are, but what am i? >> [ bleep ]. >> i know you are,ut what am i? >> [ bleep ]. >> you can kp drunken [ bleep ]! >> bad boy. what are you gonna do? the good news is, everyone got invited to the white house for beer. so it's all fine. one more thing. i want to congratulate hbo, they topped glaad, the top list of best tv networks when it comes to depicting homosexuals. abc finished second thanks to my uncle frank. strangely enough, the network that came in last was animal planet which got an f from glaad in part because of this insensitive new show they're running. >> two giraffes on the serengeti.

bumping and grinding. hey, siegfried and roy, get a room already. this lion is totally gay. look at him. cruising the plain, searching for a quickie. king of the jungle, queen is more like it. gay, gay, lesbian. gay. >> "outing the forest" sundays at 9:00. on the show tonight, from "raising the bar", melissa sagemiller. we have music tonight from jack's mannequin. and we'll be right back with seth rogen, so stick around. (announcer) what does greatness taste like?

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♪

you're really working that tambourine there, cleto. that doesn't embarrass you having to play that thing? >> it works my muscles. >> very good. with us tonight, from "raising the bar" on tnt, a very attractive woman named melissa sagemiller is here. also tonight, from right here in los angeles, this is their second album, "the glass passenger", music from jack's mannequin. tomorrow night, anne heche, aubrey plaza, and music from diane birch. our first guest is another in a long line of comedy gifts canada has given us. you know him from the movies "pineapple express", "superbad" and "knocked up". starting tomorrow you can see him co-star with adam sandler in the new movie "funny people". please say hello to seth rogen. [ cheers and applause ]

we're getting -- you're getting more fit each time i see you. i don't know, i feel like i lose a member of the club. >> every time. you'll be very disappointed in me. have you seen vincent d'onofrio's face? another one down. a single tear. >> can i ask you a question, a political question, kind of. >> really? >> that is this. you're from canada. we don't know what goes on up there. we hear things. we drink the syrup and that stuff. but do you have to wait in line like six months for a kidney even if you don't want one up there? what's the story? is it good? >> it's good health care. yeah, i got my head chopped off when i was 6. and within four weeks it was reattached. >> really? >> and there was almost no repercussion to that. they kept it on ice. worked out well. >> well, there's vote for obama, i guess, huh? >> i guess so.

>> how many times have you been here on the show with us? >> this is the third time on the show. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i'm -- but i have or the honest t first time i was on the show it was one of the bigst days of my entire life. unfortunately not because it was the first time i was on your show. >> i know. i assumed it had nothing to do with me. >> it was because it was first time i met megan fox in my entire life. right here on this show. and it was actually before she was in "transformers", and i was in the dressing room with a bunch of my friends -- real sausage party in there. lots of dudes. and that's how i roll. [ laughter ] and she literally came into the dressing room and in like sweatpants and a t-shirt and everyone stopped talking and stared. everyone thought i won a prize or something like that. like, this jimmy kimmel is a rad dude. they really hook you up on this show. but -- so i got really psyched

and then she explained she was in fact an actress who was about to be one of the biggest movie stars in the world. and she was nervous and she wanted to know if i would stay out for her appearance. then something -- then there s was -- in my mind, an incident occurred after that. >> yeah. something that i heard about this, that scarred you for -- i won't say your whole life, but your life thus far. >> for two years. the last two years have been rough, i'll be honest with you. when she came out, i don't know if you have seen the talk show before, but -- yeah, you have. the male guest takes it upon themselves to plant a small kiss perhaps on the cheek of the female guest as they come out. i was thinking when in my life will i ever get to kiss this woman, now is my chance. i tried do it and to my memory, she physically stop me from doing it. basically rejected me on television and -- and that's how i remember it. i'll be honest. that's exactly how i remember

it. >> well, we dug up the tape because sometimes -- well, sometimes you remember these things and they're not as bad as -- >> i'm praying that i have -- my memory is much worse. >> she asked you to -- >> she came into my room and asked me to stay. >> she said, please stay. >> please. it would make me so much more comfortable. >> you can fill in the gaps -- >> exactly. interject and be funny. >> here comes megan fox. this is her first talk show appearance. >> megan fox! [ cheers and applause ] >> she was good. >> wow. that worked out. >> then i come in. and whoa! [ laughter ] >> let's take another look at that. >> no. no. >> then you go -- [ laughter ] >> it almost seemed like you were going with an open mouth.

one more time because -- >> no. >> i like it when you shake your head -- yeah. as soon as she passes, you nodded, yeah, of course, that is what happened. [ laughter ] of course it happened again. >> i'm used to that. it happens to me often. >> i'll tell you what, she made a terrible mistake. one that you'll never forget because now that you'll become the green hornet, megan foxes will be climbing all over you. >> just open up to me at every greeting. >> yeah. you'll probably have to wear a helmet around to be protected from these women. >> i hope. a helmet with an opening that will allow me to make out with them. that was much worse than i remember. we did the preinterview, maybe we'll show the clip. i'm sure it will be fine, i'm

blowing it out of proportion. it's way more embarrassing than i ever remember. >> things -- people say i have this great video, i was on a horse and i jumped off and they're never as good. but that really lived up to its billing. >> yeah. it's creepy of me. like i look weird. like it's weird -- it's creepy that -- i rally do. i'm there with an open mouth. i don't know why i'm doing that. i'm almost doing that. i'm one step away from the boob grab. [ laughter ] >> well, speaking of -- speaking of not kissing women, you were at the comic-con convention. >> i was. a hot bed of not kissing women. that is ground zero for not kissing women. >> and you like that, or are you like a comic book fan and all that stuff? >> i'm a giant comic back fan as you can tell from the video. [ laughter ] yeah, i have been a comic book fan my whole life. >> fun going to something like that? because --

>> yeah. >> i would imagine you just being swarmed by guys dressed up as yoda. >> that is -- that to me is like the sexual fantasy. you don't know that. but -- [ laughter ] yeah. comic-con, i'm kind of like how justin timberlake is everywhere. that's what i'm like at comic-con. but people are respectful because i'm a comic book -- they can genuinely see that. i'm reading wolverines, and they get that. last year i was there and i had some friends who are celebrities. some of them to avoid getting pictures taken with them, thought, oh, well, i'll wear the mask of the comic book character, but what they didn't take into consideration, a man wearing a mask is way more famous. it's wolverines, it's like move

over seth rogen. >> now that you're going to be the green hornet that's a big deal. >> pretty rad. exciting. >> you become part of that world permanently. >> i know that like comic books are what made me not lose my virginity until a very old age and i hope that maybe i can cause other young men to not lose their virginity -- >> a noble effort. >> exactly. >> the coolest comic book characters have a car, i think. this is your car in the movie. look at that. >> it's got machine guns and missiles. >> does it have a name? >> it's called the black beauty. it's also the name of my favorite sexual device. [ laughter ] >> will they give you a chance to own the black beauty? >> i hope so. >> adam west i think has to rent the bat mobile whenever he wants to do an appearance. you don't want that. when you're 75 and doing this sort of thing, you want the black beauty in your garage.

you should try to get this thing. >> well, would i look lame driving around the city in that? >> no not at all. i would like to see you driving around in the black beauty. you get to drive -- is it a functioning car? >> yeah. those are real machine guns. we killed around 400 nerds yesterday. >> it would be great if i -- if it had a weenie horn. >> like it played cucaracha. >> talk to guillermo. i saw your movie and i thought it was funny and touching as well. i know you play a stand-up comedian in the movie. i want to talk about that because when we come back we have some video of you at 13 years old doing stand-up comedy. >> is that going to be embarrassing? >> potentially more embarrassing than the -- >> perfect.

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i'm thinking now would be a great time.

oh, yeah, you have to see

the whole thing. come here. >> really? >> oh, oh. that's my man ira. he wrote a lot of good jokes for me, honey. >> hey, we -- want to have a contest to see who can hold their breath the longest? [ laughter ] >> nothing is going to happen between us. >> well, there you go. [ laughter ] >> that's "funny people" that opens tomorrow. seth rogen is here. in the movie, i don't need to tell you, but i'll tell everybody, but you play a young comedian and adam sandler hires you to write jokes for him. you become friends.

>> yeah. yeah. >> more or less. >> more or less. he's kind of mean to me in the movie to some degree. but in real life, i couldn't be a nicer guy. i'm known for much stretching much. i played a pot head in one movie and i play a big adam sandler fan who writes jokes for a living. i'm really branching out. >> wait until this car comes out. things are all going to change. >> yeah. >> but adam is a real bastard in real life, right? he's a real -- he's kind of a hard ass. >> in real life he might be the meanest person ever. he shot me in the foot one day. that was weird. just for no reason. he had a gun and he just -- he's a funny man. >> random act of cruelty. >> he didn't even say dance first. no, he like the greatest guy ever. >> is that the real relationship between you, the relationship that you have in the movie where you kind of idolize him for lack of a getter -- >> yeah, honestly, to me, he was -- when i was younger and billy madison came out, it was

the first guy who was making movies for people, you know, like me, who are like my age and his comedy albums were the filthiest and funniest things in the entire world. >> yeah, those are funny. >> the sexual techniques that i still have not topped. even today. so i recommend you guys go out and get those. he doesn't need the money. just do it anyway. >> so the director, judd apatow, what he did, he had you guys do standup comedy and jonah hill hadn't done it before. but you had done it, starting at a very young age. how old were you when you start? >> i was 13 when i started doing stand-up comedy and that sounds obnoxious. i know that. i would hate a 13-year-old who did stand-up comedy. i was the drunk guy in the club and a 13-year-old is up there, oh, great this is hilarious. throw a beer bottle at his face. then i go to jail. then i meet a man i like. [ laughter ]

but, yes, so i had to go out and start doing stand-up comedy again. it was a nightmare. did not enjoy it very much. >> were you able to draw on any of that material that you used as a teenager when you started? >> i wanted to. i thought like oh, i'll go ahead and tell the old jokes that i used to tell, but i felt like a fat guy squeezing into a t-shirt too small, oh, really, you're going to tell the jokes that you did at your bar mitzvah, you're almost 30 years old. but i started to write new jokes, about porno and masturbation, and i've really come a long way in the years. >> quite a journey. >> quite a journey. i'm a journeyman. >> we have a clip and i cannot imagine -- i can't even imagine figuring out you could do this at this age. it's really very, very young to be doing this. >> it was very young. as you will see, not always

effective. i may have been too young to do it. >> here we go. here is seth rogen at 13 years old. >> when two people fall in love, a little naked man shooting an arrow through your heart. darlene, i love you and i want you to marry me. [ laughter ] >> oh, that's a pretty good joke. by the way, i especially like that -- you've got a cigarette in an ashtray on the stool there. were you smoking at 13? >> this voice didn't come from a life of good living i'll tell you that much. like a denis leary type thing. it was pretty good. >> when you were a kid, is that what you did? did you play sports, were you normal at all? >> i did. i played rugby which is a really violent sport. i played it -- this is disgusting. i played it for a few years and then one time you wear cleats in rugby, spiked shoes, and a man stepped on my scrotum which then

started to bleed. which i then saw the blood of. and i walked off the rugby field and i literally have not played any sport since then. >> really? >> that was around 20 years ago. so, yeah, i've completely retired -- it's taken me -- i'm afraid of my penis getting detached. >> ever since then -- >> i was in my bathroom and my girlfriend took her curling iron out and i burned my penis on it. i might be potentially vulnerable in the penis. >> wait a minute. how did that happen? >> i was leaning over to get something and it was out and i thank god it didn't burn -- there's a real possibility the hole could get shut and then i have to make a new hole, i don't know what would happen. but thank god it was more -- >> well, you're a very lucky man. >> with the underside -- >> seth rogen, everybody. "funny people" opens tomorrow.

we'll be right back with melissa sagemiller.

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♪ hi there.

we have music from jack's mannequin on the way. our next guest made her film debut ten years ago in a scene alongside noted thespian mike tyson. now she plays an ambitious assistant d.a. who faces off every week against zac from "saved by the bell". the show is called "raising the bar". watch it mondays at 10:00 on tnt. please say hello to melissa sagemiller. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. great to you here. >> thank you for having me. >> boy, acting alongside mike tyson is a hell of way to break into movies. >> yeah, he's interesting and big and scary. >> was he an interesting acting partner? >> well, we were doing a scene -- >> is that a no? >> well, i don't know if he's watching. he's scary. >> he's not coming here.

>> well, he might. we're shooting a scene in new york it took four or five hours. the lovely lady playing his love interest, he kept on saying he was going to eat her. and i didn't really know how to take that. i thought is this endearing? is it a threat? >> kind of both kind of both. i said that to my fig newtons last night and it was a threat, yeah, but i also loved them. so you can look at it that way. was this on or off camera? >> both. >> well, that's no good at all. >> when she left for the bathroom, i thought this is my turn. it's all over now. >> your dad played for the washington redskins. and your dad is here in the audience tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how are you? this is -- this is a fun face to bring boys to right here. and it's just a big white man, i mean, really. is your dad -- >> with the knife.

>> he didn't need the knife. that was just a bonus. was that a problem having a big dad like that? >> it wasn't a problem for me. no. >> i see. >> anyone that came -- >> just the guys i dated, yeah, they're scared. >> you're from washington. >> mm-hmm. >> what did your mom do for a living? >> well, she used to work for jimmy carter. she was his campaign finance manager. >> that's a big deal. that's kind of exciting. you're right in the middle. >> right in the middle. a political family. >> and you decided not to be political -- work in politics or become a football player. but instead, to get into acts -- acting and modeling. how old were you -- >> i dabbled in modeling for like four months. but, yeah, i was 17 when i went to france. i lived in paris for a summer. >> wow. >> yeah. didn't have the best time. >> you didn't? why? >> not my first experience in paris. >> the country is beautiful, but the people -- >> great food.

the men not so much. >> why, what was the problem with the men? >> well, they kind of rub up against me when i was in the subway. tried to rip my skirt off as i was going up the stairs. and they would follow my roommates an i occasionally a and -- um, pleasure themselves in front of the window. >> really? so you don't like that? [ laughter ] >> well, i didn't then. but now -- >> now it's all right? >> now -- >> so you're molested all through europe it sounds like. that's -- that doesn't sound like a great experience. do you ever leave the country anymore? >> i do. >> now you're working with -- well, not zac from "saved by the bell", but he is kind of that. but he has a real name which is mark and he's a very nice guy. you play rivals in the show. >> yes. he is a public defender and i'm a d.a. so we're constantly on opposite sides of the fence.

>> were you one of the kids that loved "saved by the bell"? >> i wasn't, but my sister was. it was slightly after my time. i was too cool. >> well, sure, yeah. >> did your sister get a chance to meet him? >> yes, she did. >> did she care? >> did she care? are you kidding me? she had a coe niption fit. >> really? >> i didn't tell her because she was obsessed and i had got cast in the show. we were doing research for the show in new york, and said, yeah, come join me and my castmates for dinner. i don't think you'll know who they are and she walks in, saw him, and started hyperventilating. i said, that's not going to work. he didn't see the whole episode which is great. >> he's probably used to it. >> yeah. >> did he was a normal conversation? >> well, he's so gracious.

i imagine it happens to him a lot. >> imagine if screech walked in. you would have had to peel her off the wall. well, congratulations to you. and it's nice of your parent comes here with you. >> and yeah, they were in town. and my husband is here. he's french. >> he's french? is he one of the ones in the window? >> yeah. i told you i like it now. >> well, nice job. thank you for being here. >> thank you for having me. melissa sagemiller. "raising the bar" airs mondays at 10:00 p.m. on tnt. we'll be right back with jack's mannequin. ♪ (announcer) degree ultra clear goes on clearer than the leading solid antiperspirant. dare to make a statement n black. find out why thousands of women voted degree ultra clear product of the year.

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♪ well, this is their latest cd. it's called "the glass passenger". here with the song "swim", jack's mannequin. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ you've gotta swim swim for your life ♪ ♪ swim for the music that saves you when you're not so sure you'll survive ♪ ♪ you gotta swim and swim when it hurts ♪ ♪ the whole world is watching you haven't come this far to fall off the earth ♪ ♪ the currents will pull you away from your love ♪ ♪ just keep your head above i found a tidal wave ♪ ♪ begging to tear down the dawn memories like bullets they fired at me ♪ ♪ from a gun, a crack in the armor, yeah ♪ ♪ i swim to brighter days despite the absence of sun,

choking on salt water ♪ ♪ i'm not giving in i swim ♪ ♪ you gotta swim through nights that won't end ♪ ♪ swim for your families your loves, your sisters and brothers and friends ♪ ♪ yeah, you've gotta swim through wars without cause ♪ ♪ swim for the lost politicians who don't see their greed as a flaw ♪ ♪ the currents will pull us away from our love ♪ ♪ just keep your head above i found a tidal wave begging ♪ ♪ to tear down the dawn

memories like bullets they fired at me ♪ ♪ from a gun a crack in the armor, yeah ♪ ♪ i swim to brighter days despite the absence of sun choking on salt water ♪ ♪ i'm not giving in i'm not giving in, i swim ♪ ♪ you gotta swim ♪ you gotta swim swim in the dark ♪ ♪ there's no shame in drifting, feel the tide shifting ♪ ♪ and wait for the spark yeah, you've gotta swim don't let yourself sink ♪

♪ just find the horizon, i promise you ♪ ♪ it's not as far as you think the currents will drag us away from our love ♪ ♪ just keep your head above just keep your head above ♪ ♪ swim just keep your head above ♪ ♪ swim swim, just keep your head above ♪ ♪ swim [ cheers and applause ] [dru

i want to thank seth rogen and melissa sagemiller. our apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night, anne heche, and playing us off the air with "the resolution", once again, jack's mannequin. good night! [ cheers and applause ]