tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 6, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EST
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and finally tonight, it's going to be a white weekend for millions of americans. a massive winter storm stretching from the great lakes into the northeast is already bumping snow at a rapidly accumulating pace. the nation's capital is expected to bear the brunt, with foreman casts that should shatter the
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existing record of 28 inches. already flights have been canceled, but washington is not alone. there are blizzard warnings in delaware and new jersey, and pittsburgh could get up to 20 inches. and at any moment, it's likely to start snowing right here in new york city. our best advice of the weekend may be to stay indoors and get ready for the big game. and that's our report for tonight. i'm martin bashir. for all of us on abc news, good night, america, have a safe super bowl weekend, and go saints.
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"jimmy kimmel live!" back in two minutes with ozzy osbourne and barry manilow. (tv) stocks have dropped to a record low... what are you looking for? stress relief ideas, but these links are stressing me out. try bing. bing? i feel more relaxed already. now visual search "yoga poses"... huh. downward dog looks good...
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compare a well equipped lexus es, to a well-equipped buick lacrosse. get inside each. and see what you find. if perfection is what you pursue, this just might change your course. meet the new class of world class. the twenty-ten ! lacrosse, from buick. may the best car win. >> dickyom hollywood >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- ozzy osbourne. and barry manilow.
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with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" and now, last but not least, re's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. very kind. thank you for the smattering of standing and cheering. tonight i'm going to be honest with you, is going to be a weird night. tonight's going to be a weird, weird night. tonight we have both ozzy osbourne and barry manilow. in the same place at the same
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time, which is very exciting. and also, i think, one of the signs of the apocalypse. not only do we have an interesting mix of celebrities here tonight, we have an interesting mix of fans in the audience, because it's like -- [ applause ] it's like we got on a crazy train to the copacabana to get here tonight. i'm a pretty good judge of people. i'm a very good judge of people, i would say. thank you, cleto. let's see if i can figure out if someone in this audience is here to see ozzy or barry. this lady right here, yeah, right there, okay, now, don't tell me anything. i want to guess. >> okay. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> downey, california. >> jimmy: that's not too far from here. do you have any pets? >> no. >> jimmy: okay. do you worship the devil? >> no i don't. >> jimmy: you have ever worshipped the devil? >> never have.
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>> jimmy: hold on a second. what do you think? um, all right. one more thing. if you were to bite the head of an an animal, would it be a bat or a cat? >> it would be neither. >> jimmy: neither. i'm going to say barry manilow. >> yep. [ applause ] >> jimmy: just have to talk to people and you -- so. ozzy and barry on the show tonight. this is going to be is best black history month yet, isn't it? i -- i'm sure you know, on sunday, miami super bowl xliv between the new orleans saints and the indianapolis colts. [ applause ] the super bowl is the day americans celebrate the physical accomplishment of world class athletes by dipping fried chicken in ranch dressing and
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new orleans fans are will be celebrating by getting drunk in the streets, which is a nigh change of pace for them. normally it's just work, work, work over there. 100 million people are expected to tune in for the broadcast, but not all of them care about the game. a lot of people, and i find this hard to believe, only watch the super bowl for the abortion ads. did you know that? there's a pro life group called focus on the family, they are running a controversial ad on sunday, starring tim tebow. here's a little tip for parents out there whose kids might see the ad. just do what i do. if they are curious, just tell them every life is precious and that child there is debate among adults about when specifically life begins, their life is going to end a lot sooner if they don't be quiet while daddy is watching the super bowl. that should -- that should do it. [ applause ] really a great time for that debate.
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the saints have their own catch phrase, which is who dat? i'm not sure how that got started or what it means, but it is popular and fun to say who dat. i'm planning to answer the phone like that on sunday all day. and not only is this phrase popular among humans, even animals are joining in on the fun. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what's going through that dog's head? you know -- he probably thinks he's their leader. on sunday when the chicken winging cot out and he's not allowed to have anything, he's going to be confused. speaking of who and dat, guillermo, do you know who is
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playing at the super bowl halftime show? >> no idea. >> jimmy: do you know who is playing at the super bowl halftime show? >> no. >> jimmy: do you know who -- did you know who's playing at the super bowl halftime show? >> oh, new orleans and the colts? >> jimmy: i've always wanted to do this, and finally -- no, the who is playing. >> oh, the who. oh. i thought it was shakira or ricky martin. >> jimmy: no, no, not shakira. going to be weird to hear the who play on television and then not see "csi" immediately after. the super bowl is on cbs this year. this morning on "the early show," the weatherman dave price found these sculptures. i guess they need things to cover in the week leading up to
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the super bowl, but i don't know about this. >> as you can tell, as we work on our way over here, look at these -- look at these likenesses of peyton manning and drew brees. it makes you do a double take. >> jimmy: amazing. it's -- it's incredible. really, truly. what is -- [ applause ] what is the opposite of a spitting image? is that a swallowing image? hey, guillermo, do you know who's playing at the super bowl halftime show? >> yeah, the who. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i didn't know if you knew. now you know. in vegas the odds makers have the colts after five-point favorites right now. three quarters of the analyst at espn are picking the colts to win. nobody thought the falcons had a chance against the broncos in super bowl xxxiii, either, and they were right, the broncos won
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34-19, so -- like most offices, we have a super bowl pool. the receptionist always wins that and it drives everyone crazy. for that reason, we thought it would be smart to ask our recepti receptionist, angela, who she thinks is going to win the super bowl. >> my final prediction for the super bowl is saints, 16, colts, 25. >> jimmy: well that's -- i didn't know that was played. probably dizzy. that, by the way, goes on all day up there. this is embarrassing. you know, in the old days when you had a job on television, you were only on television while you're at work but now we're lucky because thanks to websites like tmz, you are able to be on television all the time, when you go to your car, when you go to get coffee, when you go out
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to eat. there are dozens of very talented reporters following you constantly asking you important questions, and videotaping you in case something wonderful happens. last night after the show, i went out to dinner with dicky, our announcer, and a couple of other people. don't patronize him, he doesn't need it. and fortunately, the paparazzi was on hand to capture this -- this is a look at what i go through almost every day. >> jimmy! buddy. what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: really good to see you guys. >> what do you think about the dr. conrad murray, the michael jackson case. >> jimmy: going into a restaurant here. i am always confused and i can't quite find the door. guy items me it's over here so it's not over there. it's not. luckily someone opens -- would her, i would still be out there.
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that's why i don't go out. and by the way, in light of that, i want to take this opportunity to apologize to former president bushel. >> thank you all very much. >> jimmy: you're welcome. now, you may remember this moment. i thought, oh, what a dummy he is. and i think -- it's not as easy as it looks, opening doors. maybe this means one day i will be the president. [ applause ] i could be the first white president of the united states. tonight on "20/20," barbara walters sat down with the first lady of south carolina, jenny sanford. she is the estranged wife of mark sanford who, as you may recall, went awol to visit a misthreat in argentina last summer. his wife has a new book out. that seems to be the thing to do. you write a book after this. in the book, she says that when
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they got married, she agreed to let him remove the promise to be faithful from the wedding vows. see, now, that -- that should have been a clue right there. if that was me, i'm no lawyer, but for me, that would raise a red flag. for me, i'm saying. she also says the governor was a bit of a cheap skate and for her bit day, he made a drying of half a bicycle and for christmas, she got a drawing of the other half and a $25 used bike. and then another birthday, he bought her a diamond necklace and boxed it back up and returned it to the store. physically responsible, you have to admit that. and now, with valentine's day coming, this guy is trying to profit from it. >> this year for valentine's day, remind that special someone how terrible you are. with the ftd mark sanford floral arrangement. each flower is hand drawn on a standard 8 1/2 by 11 used sheet of paper.
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just for her. this year, show her what a cheap bastard you really are. only 37 cents. >> jimmy: at least it's reasonable. in other celebrity infidelity news, tiger woods is out of sex rehab. >> radar online is reporting tiger woods is out of rehab. >> jimmy: i don't know if they're happy or scared or what's going on there. tiger reportedly completed his spouse mandated sex rehab in mississippi. i was a beautiful ceremony. president clinton gave the commencement speech. and this is interesting to me. his wife, elin, supposedly picked him up there. how does that work, when you come home from sex rehab?
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your wife picks you up, you haven't seen each other for months. what happens when you go home? do you have sex? or does that ruin everything? i'm glad he did it, though. his friends say he really hit bottom. at one point, he got so depressed he actually considered driving a toyota. the first ever tea party convention is going on right now in nashville. the tea partiers are a group of americans who think the government is too big and also like to party and have tea. and they're featured speaker is sarah palin. they say she's getting $100,000 to be there. 98,000 grand for wardrobe, 2,000 to speak. and this is kind of outrageous. yesterday, tom tancredo addressed the tea party, and he apparently believes obama was elected by people who cannot read or write. >> and then, something really odd happened, mostly because i think we do not have a civics it
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will are si test before people can vote in this country. people who could not even spell the word "vote" or say it in english put a committed socialist idealogue in the white house. >> jimmy: love the turtle neck, by the way. great look. i'm not so sure a literacy test is what the tea party should be asking for. let's look at the signs. this person is opposed to something called amensty. and what they are trying to say they are against is amnety. here is one about obama, it's one hugh mistake, america. hugh is a dumb guy. this person would like to impeah obama. here is some stundents for mccain and palin.
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they were stunned that a college let them in. and finally, this guy makes a very strong point. get a brain morans! [ applause ] but who has time for spelling? it's friday night, and, you know, there's one government agency we can all agree works like a charm. time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> coming up next, time to [ bleep ] the cast of jersey shore, live in our studio. >> i have [ bleep ] with homosex yums since 1968. >> proud to say he's a friend of mine, too, and he is most certainly earned the trustees award. >> i trust your judgment, i do, when it comes to movies. >> and you're a [ bleep ] lover. >> i am a [ bleep ] lover.
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>> i'm hoping lady luck [ bleep ] on me. i'm miss delaware. >> sometimes you might say, wow, i might not have [ bleep ] that, but it was tight, and he sticks it in the only place you could put it. i like that. >> the jets hope they've closed the book on rex ryan's bird [ bleep ] episode. >> hem's got a big [ bleep ]. >> how are you? >> [ bleep ] up! >> [ bleep ] up? >> i like to hear it. >> thanks, miss king. i'll take real good care of twiggy. >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. barry manilow is here. and we'll be right back with ozzy osbourne, so stick around.
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i will do that. thank you. k-y® intense™. it's this gel that stimulates arousal so that big moment is like nothing i've ever felt. and it's scientifically proven to... ♪ i'm the man. you're the man. [ female announcer ] k-y ® brand intense ™ ., scientifically proven to intensify female satisfaction. happy valentine's night. hey everybody. ( conversation continues )
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funny guy. >> it came together quite quickly. >> jimmy: it did? >> he's got enough left over to dodo another book. >> jimmy: is that right? >> my story, 493 pages. >> jimmy: was there anything in the story that, like, sharon didn't know about that she -- >> no. >> jimmy: she knew everything? >> yeah. she read it before i went out, i didn't want to get my butt kicked. >> jimmy: did you hold anything back for fear of a butt kicking? >> well, i'm not going to tell you. no, i mean, my story is pretty open, anyway. >> jimmy: it's quite a story. this is one of the few books, you can turn to any page in this book and there's a great story there. well, first of all, one thing i think it would be fun to talk about is the atrocity cottage. >> that was with my ex-wife.
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>> jimmy: that was -- this is a place where you lived? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and what would happen there? >> we smoked dope, get drunk and -- >> jimmy: commit atrocities. >> it was my first house that i ever owned. and it was in the countryside. i was growing marijuana in the vegetable patch. >> jimmy: and this is when you were recording albums, you already started selling records. >> yeah, 1971 i bought that. >> jimmy: and the record company would send you anything you wanted? >> if i wanted a car, they sent me a car. if i needed cash, they would send me a check. so i was -- i need more cash. you had one yesterday. i've spent that, send me more. >> jimmy: and they would send you whatever you wanted? >> oh, yeah. i started getting cars. i -- why i got cash, i want a new rolls royce, get one of them, sell it, get the cash.
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>> jimmy: and then -- you would spend the casual on wall paper? >> alcohol and drugs. >> jimmy: yeah, drug. >> i'm a rock star, man. >> jimmy: those are part -- those are the rules. >> i mean, wallpaper? what are you smoking? >> jimmy: wallpaper. there's some great photographs in here, too. this one on the back is -- what an adorable. that's the little -- >> who would have thought that would turn out like me. >> jimmy: the little prince of darkness. i like the back, the quote on the back, too. it says, my father always said i'd do something big one day. i have a feeling about you, john michael osbourne, he would tell me. you are either going to do something very special or you are going to prison. and he was right. my old man, i was in prison before my 18th birthday. >> but you know, it's such a good time. >> jimmy: do you remember this particular trip -- >> oh, yeah, that was -- how many shots from memphis, i
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believe. >> jimmy: what happened? >> me and motley crue on a tour together and we went and got absolutely [ bleep ] faced and i was asleep in the middle of a freeway. it was pitch black. >> jimmy: is that illegal? >> it was for me. in the darkness i was feeling for -- trying to take a leak. i found a car parked. i get that on. i see blue lights on the roof go, woo. the window winds down and this woman police officer goes, hey, buddy, when you finish shaking that thing, you're going to jail. >> jimmy: it is illegal to pee on police cars. and of course you happened to get a female. >> people keep saying to me, is motley crue me sniffing -- that's very possible, but that, i couldn't remember. >> jimmy: snorting the popsicle stick? >> i haven't got a clue.
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>> jimmy: you don't remember? i was surprised to learn that the bat thing that we've all heard so much about was an accident. >> at first. >> jimmy: at first. how do you accidentally bite the head obvious a bat? >> well, in those dames we had the "diary of a mad man" tour and people would throw meat in the audience. then it got worse, people were throwing creatures on the stage, bats and toy bats. i thought it was a toy. i looked in the wings and sharon was going, "no, it's real!" >> jimmy: it was too late. >> rabies shots for the next four weeks. >> jimmy: they took you to the hospital, right? >> i said to sharon, i can't take those things up by butt anymore. >> jimmy: so you may have rabies? >> very possible. >> jimmy: very, very possible. >> when i do die i'm going to sell my body to science to see what's going on.
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>> jimmy: well, yeah, it should either go there or the smithsonian. you can't just bury it in the ground. there's so many great stories. brian wilson of the beach boys. >> that was -- i'm on the motley crue again, in new york, and we had a party at the limelight, and somebody comes up to me, says, would you like to have a photo with brian wilson, who the [ bleep ] is brian wilson? the guy from the beach boys, and i go, okay. i go, his brother died last week and i go, oh, okay. so i'm waiting on the stairwell for about 10, 15 minutes. i can hear the party, having a good time inside. i said, is this guy going to show up? he turns up, and he was as pissed off as me. he comes up, and i said to him, i'm sorry to hear about your brother. the following morning, the phone rings, sharon picks up the phone goes, yeah, okay, yeah, okay.
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you've done it now. i go what have i done now? she goes, fancy saying that to brian wilson. i said what? telling me you're glad his broe brother's dead. i never said that. i said [ bleep ], i'm not going to apologize. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you did the right thing. >> i mean, why should i -- i didn't say that. would i ever say something like that. >> jimmy: let the drugs apologize to brian wilson. well, this is an unbelievable book. if you're an ozzy fan or if you like a great story, this is the one to get. "i am oz zn stores now. we'll be right back with barry manilow.
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that make the whole world sing. his music makes you dance and gives you spirit to take a chance and he wrote some rock and roll, so you can move. his new cd is called "the greatest love songs of all time." please welcome barry manilow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming. >> do you know that this is the second time in my career that i followed ozzy osbourne. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i bet you didn't know. i bet you didn't know this. back in -- when was copa, 1978, must have been '77 or '7 8, i was doing the midnight special or the rock concert, one of those two back then, and black sabbath was the -- the big star
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and i was supposed to follow them -- >> jimmy: what? >> so i was in the wings with my band and i saw that audience and -- >> jimmy: you -- you called the police, i hope. but i went on and they were very nice to me. >> jimmy: is that right? wow. i would think now people would be nice, but in the '70s, when -- everyone had rabies back then. >> it was all right. >> jimmy: were you ever arrested for urinating on a police car. >> yeah, as a matter of fact, i was. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. thanks for being here. the new cd is the greatest love songs of all time. who decides that? >> well, i do this with clive davis and my other producer, and we all three of us put our heads together, and this time, however, i found this book that was called -- all the titles of every pop song ever written, it was the size of an encyclopedia.
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it was chronological from the 1800s up to now, and i started to make a list of what would be considered a -- the greatest love songs of all time. and i actually came up with, you would think it would be thousands but i didn't do thousands. it was like about 30 to 50 songs that would fit as the greatest love song of all time. that's a daunting title. >> jimmy: if you do a follow up, it will be the next 13 greatest love songs, number 14 through 26? >> that will be the title. >> jimmy: the second greatest love songs of all time. >> these are the greatest love songs of all time. >> jimmy: it is from 1898. >> i started in the 1800s. and there was a song title "when you were sweet 16" and i kind of remember that title. i mean, i'm old, but i ain't that old. not from my youth. but i remembered somebody singing that, and i looked it
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up, i listened to people singing it. it was a probably song. "i love you now as i loved you when you were sweet 16." oh, man, that's a great requested for a song. i listened to it, and it is just as beautiful as it must have been to people in the 1800s. >> jimmy: to go back that far in history. did you find a recording of the song? >> i did. al joelson. >> jimmy: i'm not a friend of his, we met and hung out. >> he, you know, he was one of the first people who sang it. >> jimmy: speaking of history -- >> oh, please. i saw that on your desk. >> jimmy: people don't realize you -- you were the original jersey shore with the situation and the abs and all that stuff. >> all i can say is that all of us looked like idiots back then. >> jimmy: the size of your feet are unbelievable. >> this is what we all looked like. >> jimmy: they are enormous. how big are your feet? >> it's the shoes. >> jimmy: it's the shoes.
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yeah. >> we all -- we've all looked like that. >> jimmy: you should be twisting balloons into poodle shapes with those shoes. this year is what, the 35th anniversary of your first number one hit, which is "mandy." >> somebody told me that. 35 years. >> jimmy: you remember the first time that you, like, heard the song on the radio, thought, hey, this is a hit. >> i do. i do. we were driving in florida and the dj came on the air, said, now, the number one song in dade county, barry manilow's "mandy," and boy, we drove off the road. but i knew right then, my life would never be the same. quite a ride. >> jimmy: to this day -- if you hear one of your songs on the radio, will you listen through it? >> yeah. yeah. they sound great on the radio. >> jimmy: it's more fun to hear it on the radio, suspect it? because it's unexpected. do people run into you when you
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are listening to your own song and -- >> yeah, yeah, they do. >> jimmy: that's a little embarrassing. >> i hear it like -- when time i was in an elevator, you know how they butcher your songs. one of them came on and somebody was, like, what are they going to say? what do you say if you are standing next to me, i always hated that song, or -- >> jimmy: did you sing? that's what i would have said. you mind doing a few bars? >> i may have burst into song. >> jimmy: you're going to be in vegas at the paris hotel. a new place. beautiful hotel. >> we are putting the show together right as we speak. should be the most beautiful show i've ever done. i hope it is. it looks like it's going to be great, singing all the hit and songs from this album and more. >> jimmy: that will be a lot of fun. a romantic evening. >> trying to make it beautiful and romantic. that's what paris is. >> jimmy: will you be singing in
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french? >> you know, it's something -- all i know is, escargo. >> jimmy: you can eat a snail on stage. ozzy bit the head off a bat. great to see you. you're going to do a song for us when we come back. that's barry manilow. that's his new cd, "the greatest love songs of all time." we'll be right back with more barry manilow. (announcer) we speak car. we speak rpms so you can zip by other cars. but we also speak mpgs so you can fly by gas stations. in fact, we speak mpgs so fluently, we can say ford fusion is the most fuel-efficient midsize sedan in america. yes, we speak car. and apparently, quite well. fusion is now motor trend's 2010 car of the year. get in... and drive one.
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it's called "the greatest love songs of all time." here with the song "where do i begin," barry manilow. ♪ ♪ where do i begin to tell the story of how great a love can be the sweet love story ♪ ♪ that is older than the sea the simple truth about the love she brings to me where do i start ♪ ♪ with her first hello she gave a meaning to this empty world of mine there'd never be another ♪
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♪ love another time she came into my life and made the living fine she fills my heart ♪ ♪ she fills my heart with very special things with angel songs with wild imaginings ♪ ♪ she fills my soul with so much love that any where i go i'm never lonely ♪ ♪ with her along who could be lonely i reach for her hand it's always there ♪ ♪ how long does it last
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can love be measured by the hours in a day i have no answers now ♪ ♪ but this much i can say i know i'll need her until the stars all burn away and she'll be there ♪ ♪ how long does it last can love be measured by the hours in a day i have no answers now ♪ ♪ but this much i can say i know i'll need her until the stars all burn away and she'll be there ♪
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