♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: all righty! welcome back. you all know my first guest. she is an oscar-winning actress whose latest film is called "incredibly loud" -- "extremely loud and incredibly close." and, boy, what a performance

she gives us. this is one of the best performances of her -- of her career. it opens in select cities on christmas day. please welcome sandra bullock! sandra! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jay: good to see you, buddy. it's been a while. >> nice to be here. thanks for having me. >> jay: you became a mom since i last saw you. >> i did. yes. >> jay: very good. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. it's probably the best baby in the world but i think every parent probably says that. >> jay: well, they probably do, but he's good looking -- he is so strong. >> i know. >> jay: oh my -- i know. >> jay: he crushed a beer can like that -- >> he's a good workout. he did. he crushes them against his head after he consumes them. >> jay: no, but he's like a a solid -- he's like a little lion. you know, when i have these

lions on the show they're this big, but they weigh 90 pounds. >> yeah. yes. >> jay: he's a tough guy. >> soon he'll be helping me move furniture. [ laughter ] yeah, that's what i'm going -- because i like to do that a a lot. >> jay: i knew you had a a motive. i knew you had a motive. so tell us about him. tell us about him. >> he's just -- i mean, again, i'm like every other -- he's amazing. he's >> jay: flirt? >> yeah. >> jay: yeah. ladies man? >> again, that's nature, not nurture. [ laughter ] he just -- he appreciates -- >> jay: that's an oprah term. i love that. that's nature not -- >> is it? >> jay: yeah. well, that yeah i like that. yeah, yeah. >> no but he appreciates the fairer sex. >> jay: yeah. >> he doesn't flirt with me like that and someone told me that's pro [ >> jay: you know, that is a a g >> so i wasn't as crushed. but he's got a look that he just gets the eyes of the ladies and i'm like, "i'm so sorry -- [ laughter ] >> jay: now, are you -- well, i sense you would probably be an overprotective mom, would you say? >> well -- i mean, okay -- >> jay: are you a hoverer?

>> no. no, i don't hover, but everything is a death trap. i mean i, like -- [ laughter ] >> jay: everything is a death trap. >> well, i mean, if you look at everything, you know, you're fine with it and then -- [ gasps ] i do a lot of that. which he started doing now. no, but i do feel that there's a benefit to things like the helmets and things. [ laughter ] which i know -- >> jay: you mean full-time? all of the time helmet. is that what you're saying? >> yes. he's always in a helmet and in i just kind of roll him around in a cart. >> jay: right, right >> he's going to be fine. >> jay: do you think it's different from when we were kids? >> oh, yeah. i mena, you kn us to the hood of a car and, you know, they were fine with it. [ laughter ] >> jay: right. but if you think about it, our generation went without helmet and look at what we've done to the country. [ laughter ] and -- >> jay: right. >> and so all of us are walking around with a level of head trauma and we think we' but i think this new generation with all these kids with helmet are actually going to fix what we messed up. >> jay: well, how strict were your parents? >> my mother was very strict. >> jay: yeah. >> yeah, she was -- but rightfully so, i think.

>> jay: you didn't think that at the time. come on. no. >> no. of course not at the time. she just didn't want me in a a car with any boys whatsoever until i was 18. apparently, she knew what went on there. [ laughter ] and i -- and i wanted to find out, and i wasn't -- but at 18 -- >> jay: and were you in cars with boys before you were 18? >> there was a couple of times that i went and actually the one time that i skipped -- i didn't skip school, it was out to get lunch. she -- i was at an intersection. >> jay: yeah. >> and who was across from us? [ laughter ] >> jay: oh isn't that the worst? >> totally caught us. and i'm, like -- you know, so you -- you obey that time. and i'm here today to talk about it. isn't that great? >> jay: so how old were you when you went on your first date? how old were you? >> i was allowed to go on a a date twice to a dance but i had to call every 20 minutes. >> jay: every 20 minutes? [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jay: this is no cell phone. this is a dime in your shoe era. >> to the pay phone. >> jay: yeah, go to the pay phone >> yeah, but i do feel she knew something they didn't.

>> jay: yeah, yeah. >> yeah. >> jay: and did you c 20 minutes? >> i did. >> jay: wow, wow. >> helga would have shown up at which she did as well. when she didn't hea >> jay: now louie's two. i don't have kids. so does he get the christmas? does he understand? i mean, he always seems so wide-eyed when he -- >> yea. well no, i don't think he understands the concept. but he does understand that everything in his height level right now is really bright with lots of light so he appreciates that. >> jay: okay. all right. >> but i don't think -- he doesn't get it yet, but it is -- i think next year he'll get it. >> jay: yeah. >> and demand things. [ laughter ] >> jay: now are there any bullock family traditions that you would do? i know your mom was from germany, right? >> yep. >> jay: so is it -- [ mimicking german ] is it one of those deals?] some kind of -- i don't know. [ laughter ] >> that was an excellent german accent. >> jay: thank you. thank you very much. [ laughter ] a little austrian. >> yeah. it was a little austrian. well, yeah, we have a lot of -- i mean, basically now since my mother passed, we break the law because we have to get -- we have to manage to smuggle german sausages into the

country and apparently bringing meats across the waters is against the law. so, literally we send out, you know, s.o.s. to about five people that they should send us these -- >> jay: so it has to be german sausage? >> they have to be -- they're from nuremberg. i have to say it the american way or people go, "why are you sayin and they're sausages that you just have shipped in and you fry them u with some sauerkraut salad. but they have to be -- >> jay: they have to be -- >> the right ones, b sell a lot that are imposters. >> jay: oh. [ laughter ] >> so yeah, we just have to break the law a little bit but eventually someone's package gets through. >> jay: now, break the law a a little bit. how does that -- i mean, do you have -- they bring them thro someone smuggle how do they get across. >> i'm not -- i'm not at liberty to divulge how we get [ laughter how we smuggle the sausage, >> jay: you know, when you -- you know, when you -- when you put it that way, i don't want to know. [ applause ] i don't want to know. i don't want to know anymore about how the sausage gets here. look, we'll take a break. more with sandra when we come back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: welcome back. talking with sandra bullock. i haven't seen you since you won the oscars, so congratulations. >> thank you. >> jay: for "the blindside" of course. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: now, where do you -- where do you keep it? >> right now, oscar's in a box. >> jay: okay >> but he's gonna -- i think i'm going to put him in louie's room. i have these shelves that i'm building really tall because they kind of -- came into my life at the same time. so i figure -- >> jay: but it's pointed. it's dangerous. >> who, louie? >> jay: no, no, the oscar. [ laughter ] >> oh, the oscar. >> jay: yeah you should put a a little helmet on him and cover the --

>> he'll be encased in a lucite box with some, you know, beans and stuff. but yeah, i think having him in that room so -- so, louie can be a part of it. >> jay: right, right. that's kind of cool. so you're out promoting the movie. >> yes. >> jay: do you like that? do you enjoy doing photo shoots and all that kind of thing? >> photo shoots, no. >> jay: no? >> no -- i -- no, the promotion is fine. it's nice, especially when you love something as much as this story, but the photo shoots just make me -- and i only have one word for it and i don't want to insult any -- a workforce but it makes me feel like a prostitute. [ laughter ] >> jay: now why? >> because you are just -- >> jay: come on, baby. come on baby >> it's like, give it to me, give it to me. >> i'm, like [ laughter ] it's like, you know. "bring it. ooze okay that's right. give me a pout," and i'm, like "what do you want?" [ laughter ] i don't have it. i don't have the -- the ooze. [ laughter >> jay: the ooze. >> it happens when i'm vacuuming and i catch a glimpse and i'm, like, ooh, "i look good" and then it goes away. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jay: i like when they put on -- when they assume, like -- not that i do many of them but

i go in and they turn on music. and it's like -- >> it does do something -- >> jay: oh, i feel like i'm -- take my clothes off now. >> thank you. thank you. you feel like a i feel like a prostitute. it's like -- >> jay: hey, we should get [ laughter ] that's a good movie. >> jay: now the movie is called "extremely loud and incredibly close." >> yes. yes. >> most powerful film i've seen since "schindler's list." >> yeah, yeah. >> jay: i mean, this is a heavy story and -- it deals with 9/11. >> it does. it does deal with 9/11 as -- as a backdrop but as i really want people to know, it's just unbelievably beautiful story about this child looking for an answer. and -- and he thinks he finds it in a key that will lead to the answer of why his dad was taken but the beauty of the story is all of the people he meets along the way. you know? he thinks he's going to get one answer, but yet, the real gift is all these amazing human beings that come out and share their love and reach out and inspire and - and just feel, feel on so many levels. >> jay: and you were in new york on 9/11, correct? >> yeah. mm-hmm. my family and i, we were there.

we saw -- we saw the second plane and we saw everything. yeah. yeah. it's -- i think because of what we've seen in the movies, your brain doesn't allow you to really register at first, because it just -- it doesn't make sense. and i bet that's actually one of the things that the child -- he says, "it just doesn't make sense," and it doesn't. but the way to heal and the way to -- to move at least one step forward is to ask for help, reach out and -- you know, everyone, i think, can have a conversation at dinner and say, "where were you 9/11?" and everyone is bonded by remembering where they were, what they felt, how they were affected. so -- >> jay: it's tough to watch because it's -- in one sense it's ten years ago, and as soon as you see all of this it just -- >> yeah. it's so visceral. >> jay: it comes right back. >> and it should. to remind us of, a. -- how alive it still is and also to show us how far we've come. it bonded an entire country, if not the whole world, in a way that i don't think -- i don't think we would be in the place we are now, in terms of kindness and connection,

if -- if this horrific event hadn't happened. it brought out some amazing things in people. it brought out good in -- in hundreds of thousands of people. [ applause ] >> jay: now the -- the young man who plays your son. >> yes. >> jay: i -- i had never heard of him before. i'd never seen him before. >> yes. >> jay: and then i -- >> you don't watch "kids jeopardy"? >> jay: no, i don't watch "kids jeopardy." but that's -- i guess that's how he got famous. tell that story. >> yeah, he was on -- he was on "kids jeopardy" and won. like i can't even answer, you know, except for -- unless the category is about me. [ laughter ] i would get those right away. but i can't answer anything. he won, i think, $31,000 and he -- our producer scott rudin saw him and said this -- this young man might have something and then they called him, along with thousands of other kids and he just -- >> jay: and this is his first acting job, isn't it? >> yeah. >> jay: well, i'm sure he'll probably get a nomination because he's just incredible. >> look, this young man will do anything successfully that he

puts his mind to. he doesn't just want to be an actor. he actually wants to work on the water system. the world's water system because he feels that's a huge issue that needs to be addressed. >> jay: yeah. >> i mean, you can't teach him a thing. i taught him how to garnish a a plate. [ laughter ] which i think is very important, in your youth, to know how to add a little sprig to make a pop of color to put your meals together. >> jay: and when guys eat, a a pop of color is very important. [ applause ] >> yeah, i agree. >> jay: now, now set up this clip -- and you do an incredible job as his mother. i mean, you play this jewish mom in new york. the clothes, your mannerisms, you know, having spent a lot of time in new york. boy, i really -- i really connect with your character. explain what's happening in this clip. >> this is a moment where, after a lot of searching, they sort of -- they have their first step to connecting again and it's just a -- it's a sweet moment where a a child, i think, looks at his parent as a -- a human being, rather than who he thought she was before. >> jay: take a look. >> what do you miss about him?

>> oh, i miss so many things about him. >> i miss how he could tell the weather just by touching the window. >> when he would come in the house and yell, "what is everybody doing?" >> i miss how he would stick his entire arm into the coffee beans at fairway because he liked how it felt. >> that would make me so angry because everyone in the store was watching him. >> were they? >> oh, i don't know. i don't know. i miss his voice. i miss his voice telling me he loves me. >> me, too. he told me. he said, "i really love your mother. she's such a good girl." [ applause ]

>> jay: oh, i'm sorry. it's just wonderful. it just made me cry. it opens on christmas day and goes wide january 20th, "extremely loud and incredibly close" sandra, thank you so much. be right back with diablo cody, right after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ just look at all that sweater! there are sweater purses sweater boots, sweater hats, sweater scarves and sweater hot dogs... sweater what?! who's behind all this? meet grandmabot! grandmabot: hello there dearie. give grandmabot some sugar. vo: she's our patented yarn loving senior knitizen and she's got a gift for everyone. all sweaters are $15 and under, but not for long... old navy. come fun, come all! 's new baked pasta romanas. ruffled pasta, layered with creamy fontina and asiago cheeses

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: all righty. my next guest, also an academy award winner. i'm the only one on the show tonight that didn't win an academy award. >> sandra: pretty much. >> jay: this is terrible.

>> sandra: pretty much. >> jay: she wrote the oscar winning hit comedy, "juno." her new movie "young adult," i keep saying "young adults," but it's "young adult," very good movie starring charlize theron. it's getting great reviews. it's in theaters right now. please welcome diablo cody! diablo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jay: are you two just meeting for the first time? >> sandra: yes. >> yes, we are. >> sandra: we are, we're best friends now. >> i'm honored. >> jay: that's right, okay. [ laughter ] well you both have -- see, your baby is 16 months, right? >> yes. he's 16 months. >> jay: there you go. >> sandra: play date? >> play date, definitely. >> jay: play date, play date? >> i saw your little guy back there he's cute. >> sandra: sorry, jay. >> jay: do you think your baby can take him? i mean what are we thinking here? >> no. >> jay: and your husband, dan, he works for our friend,

chelsea. >> yeah, he works over at "chelsea lately." he's a producer over there. >> jay: now is she a good boss? >> no, she's fantastic. she kind of abuses him, and i like that. [ light laughter ] so he gets it at home, and at work. >> jay: now what is this picture, what is he doing here in this picture? what is that? [ laughter ] >> chelsea likes to dress him up in women's underwear, high heels, et cetera, and just kind of parade him around the studio. and i'm totally behind that. [ laughter ] >> jay: yeah, yeah. you know he looks like he's really good at it. >> no. yeah, he likes it. i think he enjoys it. >> jay: now, is he getting recognized a lot? >> he is, and it enrages me. >> jay: now why? >> because, you know, i like being recognized, and now it's like, we go out together and people are like, "oh, it's the underwear guy from 'chelsea lately,'" and i'm, like -- that's just cheap. [ laughter ] >> jay: do they make you hold the camera? do they do that? >> that's happened. >> jay: yeah, that's fun. "could you just, could you take this, please?" >> it's humbling. it's humbling. >> jay: so >> well, we -- it was just a a pretty boring story.

we met through, like, a mutual friend. >> jay: you know people always say that when it's really something exciting and they don't want people to know. my pa "uh, i met your fat a party." what party? "i don't remember." [ light laughter ] something happened. >> we had a cool friend who thought t >> jay: wow that is a really cool friend. and how long after -- >> how long after -- >> jay: did you get married? [ laughter ] >> the next night. no -- we got married about a a year after we met actually. >> jay: oh okay. >> so, it was a speedy courtship. >> jay: now how did he propose? was he in bra and panties for that too or what? >> oh, this is the best. no, he was not in a bra and panties. he proposed to me on a roller coaster. because that's my main hobby, is riding roller coasters. and the best part about it was i was in a restraint so i couldn't get out or move. [ laughter ] so if i had not been into it, it would've been the ultimate entrapment. [ light laughter ] >> jay: okay -- did he propose on this part -- [ imitates coaster going uphill sound ] or -- [ screams ] i mean which part? >> no, we were actually on the lift, yeah. >> jay: so this is your hobby? ridin >> i know. and i guess it's kind of a

a strange hobby, but i travel all over the coun rollercoasters. >> jay: okay, now when you ride a roller coaster -- [ cheers and applause ] >> do you like that? >> jay: of course, this begs the question. where -- is it the scariest, the most fun, what is the criteria? >> well, i'm interested in classic c their preservation. it's kind of like your car t > >> i like the ones tha i like anything it's gonna fall apart imminently, but i also like the new, crazy, cool ones. >> jay: okay, all right, so what is the best one in the country? >> my personal favorite is actually right here in l.a. it's called x2. [ cheers and applaus yeah! we have some thrill seekers here, yeah. >> jay: now will you ride each one once and move on? or do you ride one like, 50 times. >> oh you don't want me to get into this. i do have a spread sheet, because i like to keep track of which ones i've actually been >> jay: okay. >> sometimes i just like to get the credit. other times i go on repeatedly if i enjoy it. >> jay: oh, i see, okay. so it's like dating. >> yeah, i guess so. >> jay: hey, i loved your movie "young adult." i keep saying "young adults," i'm sorry. it's "young adult." >> singular, yeah, thank you very much. >> jay: and you're getting

great reviews. >> it's been doing well, i'm happy. >> jay: well, i just like it because you write quirky. it doesn't have ending. people don't do what they're supposed to do. >> it does not have the traditional hollywood redemption arc. she's a pretty bad person, she kind of stay [ light laughter >> jay: yeah, yeah. i mean, tell people what it's >> it's about this woman in her 30s who's just kind of a train wreck. she drinks too much, she's very insecure, she's a writer. i can't imagine where i got this idea from. [ laughter ] and she goes back to her hometown to try and break up her ex-boyfriend's marriage. >> jay: right, yeah. that's what it is. is she a bad person or more of a narcissist? 'cause we had this round table discussion with a bunch of people. to me, she's a narcissist who isn't even aware of what she's doing. >> she is a narcissist. she's -- honestly, she writes novels for teenagers and she kind of is one herself. she's never matured past a a certain stage of her life. >> jay: now did you go to your high school reunion? do you do that? >> i made a big mistake. all right, so my 15 year reunion was this year, and i couldn't go because i still

haven't lived down my behavior at the 10 year reunion. [ laughter ] >> jay: what did you do there? >> because i just got completely obliterated. i'm not gonna lie. >> jay: wow. >> and you know, one of those things when you're just approaching everybody from your past and telling them exactly how you feel about them. [ laughter ] it's not cool. >> jay: wo >> so, yeah, that -- i'm not -- i can't do it again. >> jay: i'm guessing you didn't call your mom every 20 minutes. >> no. >> jay: i've got two different girls here, really. >> kind of, you never know. >> jay: did you ever look up ex-boyfriends like your character did? >> like, five minutes ago. [ laughter ] i think i was looking up -- i'm pretty much, i have a feed on the internet letting me know what all my ex-boyfriends are doing at any given time. >> jay: okay, now, if a a boyfriend is doing better than expected do you feel better or worse about it? >> obviously, i want them to fail. >> jay: right, okay. [ laughter ] that's very honest, and it's true. >> no, that's not. it depends on the guy. >> jay: depends on the guy. and if it's a guy you knew, you want them to fail. right, okay. now what's happening in the

clip we're gonna see? >> well, mavis is looking -- mavis is the name of this character. >> jay: and it's a beautiful name. that's my wife's name. >> yeah, it's like your wife. yea a outfit to wear to seduce her >> can i help you find something? >> sure. i'm not having a ton of luck here. >> is this something for work? >> no. it's a special occasion. it's not a formal occasion. i'm looking for something chic, clean, but also a bit edgy. >> okay. we have some adorable new dresses that just came in. >> yeah, do you have marc jacobs? >> uh, no, i don't think we have that one. >> we're going to a rock concert with an old flame, and i think there is a chance we may reconnect. >> let's show him what he's been missing. >> no, he's seen me recently. he knows. but his wife hasn't seen me in a while, so -- >> well, it's the end of my shift and my son has to be picked up from school, so i'm just gonna send over another associate. she's up on all of the trends. donna? [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: donna! i like it. >> donna! >> jay: all right, "young adult" in theaters right now. >> thank you. >> jay: diablo, congratulations

on all your success. >> thank you so much. >> jay: be right back with pink martini! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: all right, my next guests call themselves a little orchestra. and sandra, you're a big fan of these guys, right? >> sandra: love them. >> jay: they're really good. on new year's eve they'll be right here in los angeles, at the walt disney concert hall. their new cd is called "1969." tonight they're performing a a special holiday song, "santa baby." please welcome pink martini. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ santa baby slip a sable under the tree for me ♪

♪ i've been an awful good girl santa baby and hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ ♪ santa baby a cadillac convertible too light blue ♪ ♪ i'll wait up for you, dear santa baby and hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ ♪ think of all the fun i've missed think of all the fellas that i haven't kissed ♪ ♪ next year i could be oh so good if you check off my christmas list ♪ ♪ boop-a dee-boo santa baby i wanna yacht and really that's not ♪ ♪ a lot i've been an angel all year santa baby ♪

♪ and hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ come and trim my christmas tree with some decorations from tiffany ♪ ♪ i really do believe in you let's see if you believe in me ♪ ♪ boop-a dee-boo santa baby forgot to mention one little thing ♪ ♪ a ring and i don't mean a phone santa baby ♪

♪ and hurry down the chimney tonight hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ ♪ hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: pink martini. nice job, guys. thank you, everybody. thank you so much. that was great. that was beautiful. i want to thank my guests, sandra bullock, of course, diablo -- diablo cody and of course, pink martini. tomorrow night, the one, the only, charles barkley, and mr. "saturday night live," jimmy fallon happening next! jimmy! nice job! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: hey, everybody. thank you. thank you very much. thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. i appreciate that. [ cheers and applause ] good to be back. we've got a whole week of fun shows. hey guys, huge international news, you guys. kim jong-il, you know, the crazy leader of north korea, who hated us, that guy -- [ laughter ] -- he passed away over the weekend. [ audience aws ] and get this, his 28-year-old son kim jong-un is taking over. it won't be easy, because he's got some big women's sunglasses to fill. [ laughter ] it's going to be tough. hey you guys, tomorrow night is the first night of chanukah and the white house -- [ applause ] -- the white house already had its annual chanukah reception. yeah. first, obama lit a menorah and then biden made a wish and blew it out. [ laughter ] it's like come on, somebody keep him away from -- this is nice. president obama and his family

just released their official christmas card which features their dog bo in front of a fireplace. of course, when the chinese president got his, he didn't think it was a card, he thought it was the takeout menu. [ laughter ] he's like, okay -- -- i'll take the number one. take the number one, please. >> steve: it's a cultural thing. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a cultural thing. [ laughter ] >> steve: we eat cow, yeah. >> jimmy: they eat -- yeah, yeah. we eat cow. they eat -- >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. speaking of the holidays, you guys, the salvation army says that someone actually dropped a diamond ring into one of the donation kettles. or as kobe bryant's wife put it, you're welcome. [ laughter and applause ] i won't be needing that. [ applause ] that's the end of that. that's the end of that, man. i read about a 94-year-old woman who recently died and left $13 million to her pet cat. you should have seen the cat's face when he heard. it was like -- [ laughter ]

this is weird. a man in israel recently changed his name to mark zuckerberg. which explains that guy's new website, facebooka. [ laughter ] hey, what did you write on my wailing wall? [ laughter ] there's no like button. there's a eh button. [ laughter ] eh. [ laughter ] eh. listen to this, you guys. a new study found that there's a limit to how smart humans can be. oh, yeah? well, if that's true, could i do this? right? [ laughter ] >> steve: no limits. >> jimmy: that's my slogan for the show. no limits.

>> steve: yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] >> no limits. [ water drop ] [ laughter ] [ imitates explosion ] >> no limits. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's so smart. hey, this is pretty interesting, you guys. scientists just discovered that rats can actually show compassion. which explains why this morning on the subway i saw a rat give up his seat to an older rat with shopping bags. it was just -- [ laughter ] -- it was just sweet. finally, you guys, a man in washington known as the fast food bandit was just arrested for robbing 12 subway restaurants. but the good news is when he gets to prison they will be offering unlimited foot longs. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight, you guys. give it up for the roots. ♪ come on ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i missed you guys. i missed you. welcome to the show, everybody. before we get started i just want to say thank you to everyone over at "saturday night live." i hosted -- [ cheers and applause ] -- on saturday. it was so much fun.

they took good care of me, the cast, the writers, the staff, they're all so good. they're professionals, and i had a cold in the middle of the week, too, which is -- it was disgusting. i was a mucous ball. i was just -- thank god for mucinex. i was just a mess. but thank you for putting up with me, higgins. thanks for putting up with me, buddy. >> steve: you're quite welcome. >> jimmy: higgins is a producer and writer over there. lorne let me bring my old pals in, horatio sanz, tina fey, rachel dratch, chris kattan, amy poehler, tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ] they hit it out of the park -- and michael buble. he's my new dude. >> steve: very cool guy. >> jimmy: my best friend now. >> steve: and russell brand came, too. >> jimmy: he's my b.b. he's my best buble. >> steve: your best buble. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: you always said you were a buble man, didn't you? >> jimmy: i was a buble dude. yeah. [ light laughter ] very nice. what a great guy he is. >> steve: he is super nice, and he's canadian. >> jimmy: totally down to do -- to do fun bits. yeah, i got to do russell brand. i got to do fun bits. but, it was just a dream come true. i'm so thankful and happy to everyone over at "saturday night live." thank you so much and thank you for watching that show. [ cheers and applause ]

it's getting good ratings, everyone is happy. we've got a huge show right here tonight, though. oh, my god. a great actor who stars along with tom cruise in "mission: impossible - ghost protocol," jeremy renner is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he's a stud, man. i love that guy. she is amazing in the eagerly anticipated new movie, "the girl with the dragon tattoo." rooney mara, is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] phenomenal in the movie, too. also, he's a music video pioneer who has directed the biggest bands in the world. i mean, "let it be," you know, on "the roof top," the beatles, that's him. >> steve: that's him. >> jimmy: yeah. michael lindsay-hogg is in the house, you guys. [ applause ] has a new memoir -- but there's more. there's more! >> steve: what? >> jimmy: the one and only, the coolest, carole king is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] "tapestry," "really rosy," "will you still love me tomorrow?" i mean, it's just endless. and she's going to knock it out of the park tonight, again. she's just amazing. once you hear her voice and hear her, it's just -- it's just so

great. you guys, there are only five shows before we go on christmas break. so, it's time for that beloved "late night" tradition "12 days of christmas sweaters." ♪ 12 days of christmas sweaters five days left ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. every show between now and christmas, we're giving one lucky audience member a bitchin christmas sweater from the countdown to christmas cabinet. since there are five shows left, let's open door number five. [ drum roll ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh. yeah. that's a special one right there. [ cheers and applause ] that is a special evil, evil looking cat, not even smiling. not even a smiling cat. it's an evil cat. this is a special one right here. look at this. look at the neckline up here.

[ laughter ] that's detail. that's detail right there at the neckline. yeah, there you go, right there. look at that. just gorgeous. all right. let's see who is going to go home with tonight's sweater. everyone, look at your seat number on your armchair there. let me see, if i call your number i need you to jump up and let me know where you are. quest, can i get a drum roll, please? [ drum roll ] who wants me to pick their number? who wants this? [ cheers and applause ] it's a goodie! [ cheers and applause ] 3-1-2. ♪ [ applause ] ♪ oh, my gosh. how are you, buddy? nice to see you. >> doing great. >> jimmy: there you go. what is your name? >> alex. >> jimmy: alex, where are you from? >> edmonton, canada. >> jimmy: hey, welcome. that's cool. [ laughter ] all the way from canada. i've got a great souvenir for you. yeah, that's going to be great. get rid of this. this is boring as hell. yeah, come on. [ laughter ] you can wear that anywhere. can you wear that to a funeral. [ laughter ] you can wear that to a johnny cash tribute concert but this guy -- oh, my gosh, put this guy on.

this is going to be great. you're going to look good in this. good weight quality to it. you're going to need sweaters in canada. it gets cold over there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, this is fitting perfect. >> oh, yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. that's fantastic. look at that. this is fantastic, buddy. congratulations. thank you for coming to the show. appreciate it, buddy. >> thank you. ♪ >> jimmy: i'm in the spirit of giving right now, and we're about to give away some awesome stuff. it's time for "late night "stocking stuffers. here we go, you guys. ♪ hey girl ♪ ♪ it's the late night stocking stuffer yeah ♪ >> jimmy: that's right. every night this week we're going to be giving an awesome gift to every single person in our studio audience. [ cheers and applause ] all right.

let's see what you're getting tonight. tonight's stocking stuffer is a box of godiva chocolate, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: jimmy. >> jimmy: look at that. >> steve: it's a 12-piece ultimate dessert truffle gift box featuring classic red velvet cake truffle, luscious chocolate éclair truffle, decadent chocolate lava cake truffle and always popular creme brulee truffle. truffle it up. [ cheers ] jimmy. >> jimmy: give it up, you guys. that's pretty nice. [ cheers and applause ] thank you to godiva chocolates and enjoy those, you guys. stick around. we'll be right back with "put it on a cracker." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪♪ ♪ [ jennifer ] no matter where you're from... ♪ ♪ ...elegance... ♪ ♪

...is hard work. ♪ ♪ it's taking style... ♪ ♪ ...performance... ♪ ♪ ♪ ...want me to ♪ ...and originality... ♪ all i ever do ♪ ♪ never stop loving you ♪ ...and making them look easy. ♪ i can feel i believe ♪ ♪ and there ain't no doubt about it ♪ ♪ there ain't no doubt about it ♪ ♪ i'm in love ♪ ♪ and it's all because of you ♪ ♪ i was fading, but you pulled me through ♪ [ doorbell rings ] ♪ ♪ [ female

announcer ] just for these hectic holidays mcdonald's introduces new peppermint mocha and peppermint hot chocolate from mccafe. the simple joy of unwinding. really, head & shoulders is for more than dandruff? yeah, it does seven great things like giving me a healthy scalp and great looking hair. you should make that eight things. dude, why don't you just use the stuff? [ male announcer ] head & shoulders: seven benefits. every bottle. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] holiday party. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] making spirits bright! [ female announcer ] cheers to you, mr. kangaroo. go-to... [ male announcer ] unsilent night. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to our show, you guys. thank you so much for tuning in. guys, i've got to tell you something. i love crackers. i like their crispiness.

i like their breadiness, so bready. but most of all, i like to put stuff on them before i pop them into my food hole. [ laughter ] that's why it's time for our next game, put it on a cracker. ♪ hey, man ♪ ♪ ♪ put it on a cracker ♪ >> jimmy: let's meet tonight's contestants. come on in, you guys. what's happening? [ cheers ] how are you? nice to see you. >> you too. >> jimmy: welcome to a very special christmas edition of put it on a cracker. america's second favorite cracker-themed game. [ laughter ] if you forget the rules, here they are. first, you'll put on a blindfold. then you'll start the sharp 108 slot machine simply by shouting your name until the system recognizes you. gently stepping on the foot activated initiator button. and then pulling down the lever here yeah, then a series of foods -- [ laughter ]

-- series of foods will scroll by. which ever three foods it lands on, you have to eat on a cracker. after you eat the cracker, you must guess what three foods were on it. you'll earn ten points for each correct guess. the contestant with the most points wins. you ready to play? >> ready. >> jimmy: very good. is that loose enough for you? is that cutting off the circulation of your feet. [ laughter ] you let me know. all right. you're up first, my man. hey, you ready to play, young santa? [ laughter ] very good. young santa. started with a black beard. [ laughter ] then he got older -- older he gets. >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. here we go. what is your name and where are you from? >> ricky from florida. >> jimmy: hey, welcome, ricky from florida. you're a good man. all right ricky, put on your blindfold. very, very good. now, i would just like to put out that our blindfolds are made of pre-licked candy canes. [ laughter ] now you're going to activate the slot machine to see what you'll be eating. remember say your name loudly, gently stepping on the foot activated ignition -- -- initiator button and then pull the lever.

ready, set, go. [ light laughter ] >> ricky. [ slot machine noise ] >> jimmy: that's it, buddy. you did it. oh, fantastic. hold on. all right. don't look, don't look. all right. here we go. oh, good ones. you're in for a real treat. let's bring out a cracker with the three ingredients on it. come on out. ♪ [ laughter ] oh, fantastic. how you doing, buddy? >> yes, thank you. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, my friend. here we go. here's the cracker right there. >> okay. >> jimmy: that's on your hand there, so, whenever you're ready. i want to remind you, chewing is not required, but highly recommended. [ laughter ] whenever you're ready, you may eat the cracker. ♪ [ laughter ]

>> very good. all right. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. very good. okay. looks like you got a handle on it. can you guess what three ingredients were on the cracker? >> marshmallow. >> jimmy: that's good. >> i'm going to say ham. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: pretty good. >> third one, i have no clue. i'm just going to say grape jelly. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: so close. oh, my gosh. you earn 20 points. take off your blind fold. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] look up and see what you ate. maple syrup. hey, that was good though, buddy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, that was great. thanks buddy. why don't you stand over there, go between the egg nog and the corn dog. okay. let's meet our second contestant. come on over, my friend. ♪ >> jimmy: how you doing? >> how are you? >> jimmy: i'm in good shape, bud. nice to see you. what is your name, and where are you from?

>> nick from colorado. >> jimmy: nick from colorado. [ cheers ] welcome, buddy. nick, put on your blindfold. okay. these are, of course, made out of candy canes found unwrapped in the dusty pocket of a winter coat from last christmas. [ laughter ] now before you start up the slot machine, let's check in and see how contestant number one is doing. [ laughter ] great. contestant number two, you're going to start the slot machine and see what you'll be eating. remember, say your name loudly. gently step on the button and then pull the lever. ready, set, go. [ light laughter ] [ slot machine noises ] >> jimmy: there you go. oh, wow. hey. not too shabby. don't look yet there, nick. now, before we bring out the cracker, here's a brief word from the chef who is preparing today's food. >> bon appetite. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: let's bring out the cracker with the three ingredients on it. ♪ looks fantastic. hey, buddy, you look different. did you change something? >> no. >> jimmy: you sure? >> oh, well, i am wearing this big fake santa beard. >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] here you go. i'm going to put the cracker right there. some people call it a crack-or. [ laughter ] no, they don't. sorry. [ laughter ] in france they call it a crack-er. >> steve: a crack-er. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. >> steve: no limits. >> jimmy: sorry. [ laughter ] no limit show this evening. there's no limits. all right. here we go. now, here we go. see the next card? here we go. whenever you're ready, you're going to eat the cracker. go for it, buddy.

♪ [ laughter ] ♪ all right. very, very good. here we go. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. can you name the three ingredients? you get ten points per correct guess. >> i think there's some candy cane in there. >> jimmy: whoa. [ cheers and applause ] you all right? you're all right. >> some cheese. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] yeah. >> and -- salmon. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter and applause ] salmon, candy cane and cheese. >> i think so. yeah. i think so. >> jimmy: take off your blindfold and take a look at

what you really -- you had some roast beef there, gingerbread and candy cane. [ sad tuba ] let's bring contestant number one back out here and -- [ cheers ] he earned the most points. looks like contestant number one is our winner with 20 points. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ which means you'll be going home with a $300 gift certificate to whole foods. [ cheers ] whole foods market, organic food, you'll find not only a wide variety of crackers there, but also seemingly endless amount of food items to put on a cracker. don't worry. no one goes home empty-handed. higgins, tell our loser tonight about their consolation prize. >> steve: well, jimmy they, get to hug young santa on national television. [ laughter ] young santa is a younger version of santa claus and he loves crackers. jimmy? >> jimmy: you get a hug from young santa. i'm jealous. go for it. ♪ [ audience aws ] [ applause ] come over here, buddy.

you doing okay? >> doing all right. there you go. that's pretty good. >> jimmy: it was good? you also get this $150 gift certificate to whole foods for participating today. [ applause ] thank you, my friend. that's all the time we have for "put it on a cracker." stick around. we'll be right back with jeremy renner, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: and now it's time to play "guess the gift." is it "a" -- a wooden baseball bat. "b" -- a pair of slacks. or "c" -- a bag of lemon suck-on candy. we'll give the answer, right after this commercial break.

vo: introducing new french fries from burger king. for the ones that dab, the ones who smear, the ones who spread them everywhere. for the late night cravers to the oddball eaters the handful stuffers and the tiny biters. thicker cut for more flavor. new fries from burger king.

we at bud light like most advertisers were going to run a 3d commercial this year. in fact we made one, but it didn't test well. here we go! ♪ ♪ [ spokesman ] actually, it tested too well. ♪ ♪ we concluded that running this commercial -would have been inappropriate. -i'm okay! [ spokesman ] so we didn't. you're welcome, america. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. ♪ ♪

>> announcer: and now, the answer to tonight's "guess the gift." if you guessed "a," a wooden baseball bat, you're wrong. it's "c," a bag of lemon suck-on candy. thanks for playing "guess the gift." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this

evening is an oscar and golden globe-nominated actor. you know him from such movies as "the hurt locker" and "the town." he's great in both of those. he's great in everything. he's currently starring opposite tom cruise in "mission: impossible - ghost protocol," which is in imax theaters now and opens everywhere this wednesday, december 21. please welcome back to our show, jeremy renner, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my man right there. j-ren. >> hey, hey. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show, buddy. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: man oh, man you are super busy. well, last time it was before the oscars, right? "the hurt locker" was the last time you were on our show? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: congrats on all that. >> yeah, you made me do that skit. >> jimmy: yeah, i made you sing? >> yeah, that, too. did they make you do a sketch as well? >> yeah, we did a sketch as well. yeah. >> jimmy: which one was it? >> i don't know. the thing with the words. i don't remember. i don't remember. like, operation or something like in the bomb suit.

>> jimmy: oh, that's right. >> that was just after the show, you mean. >> jimmy: no, that's right. no, we were dressed in -- no, i tell you we were dressed in bomb suits. yeah, we had to defuse something. >> we were really drunk, remember. >> jimmy: yeah, do i remember that. yeah, i do remember that. it's on facebook. man oh, man, you're super busy since we -- "mission: impossible," you got "the avengers." >> "the avengers." >> jimmy: you're in that. "the bourne legacy." >> "the bourne legacy." that's coming out -- i mean, it's all -- it's coming out this year. 2012. >> 2012. >> jimmy: that's amazing. "the avengers," that's like -- i mean, everyone saying this character is going to be awesome, hawkeye. >> yeah, i think so. >> jimmy: well, i mean, yeah. but was it super fun? >> it was -- yeah. yeah. you know -- >> jimmy: it's work. >> yeah. you get to run around with a bow and arrow and be a superhero. >> jimmy: i do that all day. >> yeah, i know. >> jimmy: i do it anyway, yeah. >> yeah, it's tuesday. >> jimmy: no one yells at me. it's a nmal monday for me. >> exactly. >> jimmy: jimmy's got a bow and arrow. >> hey, congratulations on "snl," by the way. anybody see it? you were awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> hey, were you nervous? do you get nervous? >> jimmy: yeah, i was a little nervous. >> were you? >> jimmy: yeah. it's fine. >> what do you do to alleviate your nervousness? >> jimmy: take a lot of mucinex. [ laughter ] just -- >> that's right. >> jimmy: that's all i do, yeah. just a lot of it