tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 2, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EST
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under eight years under the shadow of suspicion, how will he put his life back together. we're always online at abcnews.com. jimmy kimmel is coming up next. and we'll see you here tomorrow. up next, on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> justin bieber turned 18 years old today, which means he's now officially too old to listen to his own music. >> adam carolla. >> and how are things with donald trump? >> i marvel at his hair. it's like yosemite. you have to see it, you know what i mean? >> why are you shooting me? he's just going to cut it all out. >> lil wayne was supposed to be our guest at this
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>> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel. with the total rewards card from caesar's, harrah's, horseshoe and world series of poker. i call it flat magic. because it's magic and flat. this card gives you v.i.p. access to the largest network of casinos and entertainment options, options that are available to you. anyone can get it, with the notable exception of these guys. most of these guys will spend the rest of their lives behind bars. that's why i'm here. you could have so much fun with the card. it does so many great things. stay at so many great hotels. and so many great meals.
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it's -- i mean, if you ever get out of here. i'm telling you, this card gives you access to some of the best chefs in the country. gordon ramsey, paula deen, even mannings, the new place at harrah's in new orleans. flourless chocolate cake. does the cake here have flour in it? is it flourless? >> dicky: to see the rest of the video, go to totalrewards.com. get your total rewards card today for your chance to play the escape game and win millions in prizes. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with adam >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with adam carolla and lil wayne. is really r. they keep asking me if the dirty guy is really my son. huh -- what do you tell 'um? holy smokes, these viva towels really are tough, even when wet! [ mike ] for the record, that's my real father, cleaning up a real mess on a real grill. see? very impressive! you're a natural. oh that's much better... dad's got his tough mess, i've got mine. [ female announcer ] grab a roll and try it on your toughest mess.
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i think you got it. [ female announcer ] grab a roll and try it on your toughest mess. my name is aurora guerrero and i make films about real people and real places. my feature film is a story about two 15 year old chicanas who are growing up in southeast la. it's a story about first love. i got a call from sundance. they told me they wanted to screen mosquita y mari. i was just like, this is it, this is the heavens saying aurora, you're up!
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jimmy kimmel. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. how are you doing? thank you, cleto. hi, there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] are you clapping with me or at me? [ laughter ] or for me? i don't know. i'd like to start tonight's show by wishing a happy birthday to a guy i always considered my little brother, my little brother. no. i want to say happy birthday to today to canadian justin bieber. justin bieber turned 18 years old today, which means he's now officially too old to listen to his own music. [ laughter ] i celebrated justin bieber's
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birthday today by shaving every hair off my body and wearing a salad bowl on my head. now that he's 18, i don't have to feel weird about having his posters all over my bedroom anymore, right? justin's manager, scooter, gave him a $100,000 car today on ellen's show. i remember when i turned 18 and my manager gave me a car. it wasn't a $100,000 car. i'll tell you that. maybe like an $80,000 car. i think i'll give lil wayne a car tonight later. tonight, he becomes big wayne on our show. [ cheers and applause ] this is interesting. there's a group, an animal rights group, that for some reason has donated ipads to zoos in four american cities to be given to orangutans. they buy ipads for the orangutans to play with. like that. [ laughter ] apparently orangutans in the winter spend a lot of time indoors and need some sort of stimulation.
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i don't know, after that james franco movie, you would think we'd want apes not to have computers. it's a bad example because now you have to get your kid an ipad, right? good luck explaining why the monkey has one and they don't. the group is called orangutan outreach. the first thing we weren't sure if the orangutans would use the ipads. but a few of them, like this one. [ laughter ] and this one, are using them a lot. almost like they're people. there was a new "jersey shore" on mtv. tonight, dina struggled with being one of the only single people in the house. she got through it by violently dry-humping a stranger. she's a problem. solver is what she is. we talked about this last night. multiple news sources are reporting that snooki from "jersey shore" are pregnant. and her representatives aren't denying it. oh, you're the one who did it? you're the ones who did it?
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[ laughter ] i read on wikipedia, that the average adult snooki, will give birth to a litter of between three and eight snooklets. snooki has yet to confirm the rumor. i guess we'll know she's pregnant when the vodka breaks. you know how evolution says we get smarter and stronger with every generation? i think we might be on the other side of that now. i think we might be on the down side of that. but, hey. we had a good run. the pyramids were cool. what would it be like if your mom was snooki? i'd like -- for a second, i'd like you to imagine having a five-volume dvd box set of your mother peeing in the bushes and having random sex with guys who look like frankenstein. just visualize that. but despite snooki's sometimes questionable behavior, i give her the benefit of the doubt. she seems to be a nice person. she's been here a few times. and i know that she'll give her
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child, whether it's a boy or girl, sound motherly advice, like this. >> i have no idea how to speak clock language. when i say, hi, what time is it. and somebody says it's a quarter past 2:00, just say like it's 2:30. [ applause ] i think we figured out how she might have missed her birth control pill. [ laughter ] some people are speculating that snooki might try to parlay this pregnancy and the new baby into a reality show, which she might as well. at this point, giving birth on tv would be like the 12th-grossest thing we've ever seen her do, right? it would be like "jersey shore" meets "teen mom." i don't know if she's taking pictures right now. but we have an idea for an animated show, a cartoon for the new kid, that i hope she likes. ♪ >> what's wrong with baby
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snooki, li'l situation? >> i don't know. did you turn your diaper into a smoosh room, snooki? >> no. can you keep it down? i have a couple skankys up in my crib. >> those sluts will give you baby herpes. >> we got ourselves a baby situation here. >> you idiots. what's wrong with you? you have to give baby snooki her bottle. see? all better. >> thanks, baby jwoww. with those great boobies, you're going to be a great mother, yo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the baby show. baby snooki is no bigger than regular snooki. [ laughter ] tonight on "american idol," the first hollywood elimination night.
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tonight, half the "idol" semifinalists were sent home. and next week, they do the other half and then we're done? is that how it works? it was the third episode of "idol" this week. three episodes is a lot for one week. they're putting steven tyler's scarf collection to the test here. here's some interesting video. a man walked into a welding shop in sacramento. he applied for a job. that's not the interesting part. the interesting part was he was naked. he showed up for the interview nude, which is a no-no in business. and he was also allegedly high on meth. people can't buy clothes because they don't have jobs. and they can't get jobs because they don't have clothes. so, they show up naked. the good news is when the police did show up, someone broke out a video camera. you see here, the police officer, male and female -- he's pulling her hair. the owner of the welding shop and his brother and another guy jump in to help. and watch -- my favorite part of the video is, during the struggle, this guy here on the
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end, had a burger in his hand and did not -- not dropping that. i can't say i blame him. you don't want to wrestle a naked man on an empty stomach. it's fashion week in paris right now. this is where the greatest designers of the world gather to unveil all kinds of new things that no one will ever wear in real life. i don't know if it's lady gaga's influence or what. but the fashions this year are particularly ridiculous. that's why we thought it would be fun to play a game. this is called fashion week or photoshop? okay. i'm going to show you a picture of a model wearing something insane. and that music will kick in, like it just did. you guess whether it actually appeared on the runway at paris fashion week. or if it's something we made ourselves using photoshop. you ready? okay. here we go. fashion week or photoshop? [ cheers and applause ] fashion week or photoshop?
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which? that is correct. this is the blind darth vader look for fashion week. let's look at another one. fashion week or photoshop? all right. we're about half and half here. that robot rooster is from fashion week. yes. [ applause ] turn a lot of heads at the applebee's in st. louis. design number three, fashion week or photoshop? that's fashion week, too. that's a cape with a -- you know if you get hungry, you fill that thing with cheerios and you can just snack. next outfit, outfit number four. fashion week or photoshop? that's correct. that's like a bat girl outfit from fashion week. and finally, fashion week or photoshop?
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no. that's fashion week. [ cheers and applause ] that is from fashion week. it looks like the -- looks like the ghost of a cactus. that's what people are wearing. all real. none enhanced by photoshop. it wasn't necessary. see? that's what happens when gay men dresses women. and this is what happens when straight men dress women. right? [ cheers and applause ] either way, you win. including, the lifetime network just released a new reality show featuring bristol palin and her son, tripp. they're turning into the eskimo kardashians, aren't they? the show's called "life's a tripp," because that's the kid's name. they question whether bristol can carry her own show. i see her as sparkley and vivacious as a young dick
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cheney. it looks like it might be kind of interesting. >> on "sarah palin's okalaska," america fell in love with her daughter bristol. now, bristol and tripp have their own adventure. each week, join them on an adventure through the wilderness. while bristol has high-fashion makeovers. will tripp survive in the wild? find out on "life's a tripp." tuesdays at 8:00. >> mommy, help. >> only on lifetime. >> jimmy: right? this is -- there's a new sport. this is a new sport that started in january. and it's very rare that a new sport gets any kind of traction. but i have a feeling this one's going to catch on. >> currently football's the sport of choice in the u.k. but in the future, it might be this. ♪
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it's called ultimate taser ball. a sport played across the atlantic, that involves a big ball, big hits and stun guns. >> jimmy: finally, the 21st century is here, as we imagined it would be. [ applause ] seems like it's a sport they make prisoners play in a post apocalyptic mel gibson movie. if you watched our show after the academy awards or earlier tonight on primetime, you probably saw the trailer for "movie: the movie." it's been seen almost 7 million times on youtube alone. it's a real trailer for a fake movie, featuring 36 actors, if you count chewbacca. we had a lot of fun making it. and we collected some bloopers along the way. people have been asking for bloopers. some outtakes from the making of "movie: the movie." so, if everyone's ready, let's bloop it.
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>> yeah. get the funny glasses. action. >> hold up a little longer. >> i knew that. i was going to say that. >> i used to be invited to the academy awards. i just want to point that out. now, i'm across the street. [ laughter ] dressed as a robot. >> like 50 cent? >> what is that? that is the worst direction i've ever gotten. i'm, like, 50 cents. >> 50 cent. >> 50 cent? >> yes. >> get -- i dropped my pipe bomb. so sorry. cut. >> oh. >> jimmy: i never thought it would come to this. >> this is how it ends? really? oh, well. there's always "hollywood squares" after this. [ laughter ]
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>> action. >> i'm sorry. can't keep a straight face. >> once you go black hitler, you never go -- wait. sorry. >> oh, yeah. >> okay. >> i am in it right now. >> there we go. right about your chin. >> what if i want to get it right in my mouth? [ laughter ] >> get off my hovercraft. ooh. i nearly hit the director. >> stay as still as you can. >> whatever you say. i'm looking at props. >> here he goes. bird, bird, here. >> if someone complains, you tell them to shut the [ bleep ] up. [ laughter ] ♪ you got that feeling of freedom ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> why are you still shooting me? he's just going to cut it all out. >> jimmy: well, there you go. once again, thanks to all of our participants. it's thursday night. it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc, and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> 6:00, the actress who was arrested at an oscar party for [ bleep ]ing. >> i actually [ bleep ] her there. oh, yeah. she was 16. i was 18. >> i [ bleep ] twice. and liked it even better the second time. >> snookered by snooki? >> are you really pregnant?
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>> has she been [ bleep ] all along? >> a regular dude has a big [ bleep ]. >> why are scientists [ bleep ] animals? >> how do you [ bleep ] a 7,000-pound whale? >> name something you measure in inches. >> i'm going to go with [ bleep ] size. >> [ bleep ] size. >> you can't tell by the way i'm shaking and the scene out here, it is [ bleep ] cold. >> i'm 73. and i really [ bleep ] like i'm in my 30s. >> all i could think of was one thing. and that was you [ bleep ] me off. [ laughter ] every, single night. you [ bleep ] me off. >> hey, mister, could you throw the ball over here? >> hey. how's about i [ bleep ] you kids? >> that's okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, we have a good show for you tonight. lil wayne is here. and we'll be right back with adam carolla. so, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] [ male announcer ] the whole neighborhood's coming back
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight on the program, a rapper, clothing designer and free man at long last. lil wayne is here. [ cheers and applause ] hold on a second. i shouldn't say he's here. when i say he's here, i mean that he's not here. but we're hoping he's here by the time here comes. but in the meantime, he's not here. [ laughter ] so, we may have to interview one of you. [ laughter ] okay? [ cheers and applause ]
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our first guest is a best-selling author, a deep thinker, and now, a "celebrity apprentice." you can download the world's most popular podcast, "the adam carolla show" podcast on itunes or on his website. please say hello to adam carolla. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm glad to see that the towel is back. >> yeah. it's my thing, jimmy. you know? >> jimmy: well, i can see why you need a towel because i know you're so busy. you're running around. you're doing your podcast. you're writing another book now. >> yeah. a very bittersweet experience with the book. i'm working on the second book, out some time in june. had to go through the family pictures. >> jimmy: okay. >> and -- >> jimmy: you brought some. >> yes, i brought some. and very indicative of my family. we put the dick in indicative.
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this, however was grandma taking the pictures. >> jimmy: your grandma helen? >> yes. grandma helen. may she rot in hell. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she was in therapy. i met your grandmother a number of times. >> a pain in the ass. crazy. a good one. i have a million helen stories. >> jimmy: she was very open sexually, wasn't she? >> a little too open. one time when i was adding a kitchen on to their house in the '80s, when i rebuilt their kitchen, she came in to help every morning. it was a hot, summer day. we are painting. and she came in and she was wearing a blouse and nothing else. i said, grandma, what are you doing? she said, i'm here to paint. give me a brush. i'll cut in. i said, grandma, you're in your underpants. she said, i'm a grandma, i don't have painters' pants. so, give me the brush. i'm painting. i said okay.
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but for [ bleep ] sake, stay off the ladder. that was my -- >> jimmy: did she stay off the ladder? >> she honored our agreement. yes. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> i came across the pictures, which i've seen before and knew i had. and they had writing on the back of them. and i just assumed they were things, you know, loving poems about her grandson and granddaughter. you know, dates. and oh, adam is doing well in pop warner football. >> jimmy: should i put these up? >> finally finished the phantom toll booth. hold this up. i have a card that actually says. that's me, sitting in front -- on grandma's hearth. and holding a tonka truck. if you flip the picture around, you'll see there is actual writing on it from grandma. it reads, "a freestyle swedish fireplace behind the kids."
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>> jimmy: free standing. >> yeah. free standing. >> jimmy: it's a shame you're blocking the fireplace there. >> the kids have to block the fireplace. if momma had triplets, we wouldn't see the chimney. >> jimmy: what else do we have here? you and your sister again? >> me and my sister again. this is us in the living room, playing cards. if you flip it around, you'll see there's more writing on the back of it. again, i thought it would be something lovely. it says, "we have a hanging stained glass chandelier on the table. and hanging plants between the windows now. [ laughter and applause ] this is what she writes. i mean, by the way, why would you do this, jimmy? if there's -- is this for insurance purposes? hey, we had a $4 potted plant hanging there. it's right on the picture.
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>> jimmy: what's this one here? >> this is us in what was the galley kitchen. >> jimmy: what a beautiful kitchen that is. >> oh, spacious. spacious. >> jimmy: a lot of wicker hanging there. >> if you [ bleep ] you couldn't turn around. it was that tight in there. >> jimmy: looks like a cracker barrel restaurant. >> yeah. my grandma was smart. she said, you know what? let's take lots of flammable things and hang them up on the ceiling so when the flames lick them, we can all go up. >> jimmy: what did she say here? >> she said, "now we have circle dining room, which we did ourselves. everything but the foundation." she's bragging now. "upright posts and roof and roof beams. but we did not" -- and it says unintelligible. >> jimmy: it says l and a on it. >> that's linda and andy.
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two of her favorite neighbors. >> jimmy: will these be in the book? >> not now, jimmy. >> jimmy: is she proud of you, do you think? >> a huge fan. she never had cable. but she was told. not a big fan. she said -- she came home one day. i was at her house. i was eating lunch with her. and she said, guess what? i was with the gelson's in studio city and guess who i saw? i saw bill maher shopping there. and i said, you know what, grandma? bill maher is a big fan of "the man show." as a matter of fact, he's one of my few celebrity friends. she went, oh. do you think of him as a celebrity? i thought, you brought him up. [ laughter ] wow. >> jimmy: do you remember when -- now, i've been to your grandmother's house a bunch of times. >> yes. >> jimmy: and knew your
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grandmother. and remember when i got this show, which replaced bill maher. >> oh, devastated. >> jimmy: she was not happy. >> she was devastated. >> jimmy: you told her you went and told her. jimmy got a show. oh, no, no, no. >> yeah. i was like, i'm writing on it. she's like, he has writers? oh, no. yeah. not a fan. >> jimmy: you are, what? two episodes into "the celebrity apprentice" now? and how are things with donald trump? do you call him mr. trump? >> no. i mean, you should, if you'd like to stay. but if you're basic cable and your trump suite is not so great and you want to leave, you can call him whatever you want. >> jimmy: i see. >> i marvel at his hair. and i know there's been a lot said about his hair. but it is. it's like yosemite. you have to see it. you know what i mean? i can talk to you all day about half dome and sheer granite cliffs. you have to go into the valley and go, oh, my god. >> jimmy: how would you describe
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his hair? >> well, first off, it moves -- it's alive. you know what i mean? it has its own heartbeat. it's like, if you've ever seen underwater footage of kelp. [ laughter ] you see what a kelp bed looks like, with the currents moving and swaying. different parts going different directions at the same time. yeah. movement. more movement than a rubik's cube. >> jimmy: it's not -- i've looked at it myself. it's not like a helmet, like a lot of people -- like mine. >> no. no, no. it's confusing. it's complex. it's like a good glass of red wine. you know? it's assertive without being pushy. [ laughter ] a lot of different moods. >> jimmy: have you made it -- who are the other celebrities on "celebrity apprentice" now? >> we have clay aiken. >> jimmy: do you get along with clay aiken? >> he's a nice guy. we're in like a tour bus waiting to go do one of our challenges. and he has his claymates that follow him everywhere.
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>> jimmy: he still has the claymates? >> still has a gaggle of claymates. and -- but they're heavyset women in their 50s. and i remember looking through the window at the tour bus through the claymates. and i turned to clay and said thank [ bleep ] they're gay. which came first? the chicken or the gay? did he look out the window and go, you know what? i'm into dudes. like, if they were the chicks that were following motley crew in the '80s, would hi be straight? >> jimmy: there's no telling. >> bullet dodged, clay. >> jimmy: you told me you had become friendly with arsenio hall. >> i was, until i insulted the man. >> jimmy: what did you say to him? >> he said -- it's been a while since he'd been on television. i asked him because now we have new tv sets. big, wide tv sets. >> jimmy: right. >> and asked him if he'd been on a tv that was wider than it was
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deep. >> jimmy: he didn't like that? >> not a fan of that. no. [ laughter ] told me he was going to get eddie murphy to kick my ass. eddie said he would. and then, he dropped out at the end. >> jimmy: there you go. your podcast is phenomenally popular. it's on itunes. "the adam corolla" podcast. "celebrity apprentice" on nbc at 9:00. we'll be right back with more with adam after this. one day my moves will be legend.
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[ female announcer ] and one day starts today. 1-day acuvue® moist brand contact lenses. wear them only one day, so they're always fresh, always comfortable. for a free trial pair certificate go to acuvue.com. so they're always fresh, always comfortable. try olive garden's new three course italian dinner for $12.95. start with all the homemade soup or salad and breadsticks you want. next choose from five new entrees like smoked mozzarella chicken. finally a delicious dessert. the new three course italian dinner. from olive garden. will: (to camera) hello earth. those of us in tv are really glad you're watching. will (v.o.): because while you can't get enough tv, will (v.o.): we... will (v.o.): ... can't get enough of you, will (v.o.): watching tv. i've been following this guy since arrested development. big fan, mmm.
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>> jimmy: we're back with adam carolla. "the adam carolla" podcast. it's the most popular podcast in the whole world. that has to be satisfying. >> yeah. it feels good. i'll tell you something that doesn't feel good, jimmy. >> jimmy: what's that? >> sitting where oprah sat a few nights ago. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. congratulations. >> i thought we had an agreement, jimmy. >> jimmy: when you say agreement, you mean what, exactly? >> well, first off, i thought we agreed on the limitations of our success. number one. it was implied. it was implied. number one. number two, we started "the man show," to stop oprah. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> not use it as a springboard into a network show where we could lick oprah's ass. that was not part of my agreement. >> jimmy: well -- >> i held true to both parts.
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>> jimmy: well, people grow. things change. and sometimes you have to move forward, adam. and sometimes the feelings that are there don't last. and sometimes you have to make friends, make new friends. what do they say? make good friends but keep the old. the new are silver. but the others are gold. >> i think all i know is what i learned from the great bishop don magic juan. >> jimmy: which is what? >> green is for the money. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> gold is for the honey. >> jimmy: yeah. but he's a pimp, adam. that's really not a lesson. >> dear, close friend. you do not approve of this whole oprah thing, either. let that be known. i've moved on. >> jimmy: is that good that you've moved on. >> i made my own friends, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, you have. >> i made friends. as a matter of fact, we're doing a tv show together. >> jimmy: who are these friends? >> i forgot to say. but i brought along a clip. >> jimmy: that makes no sense
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that you wouldn't say. but maybe -- >> watch the clip, einstein. >> jimmy: all right. >> my new best friend and i decided to take some bonding time on a road trip. i did the driving. ♪ >> then, i get the question, is he a good driver? and i go, well, okay. >> i'm a great driver. and gayle's a great, new bestest friend. she gets me. she understands the things that drive me crazy. like those stick figure family people on the back of their minivan windows. and hybrid suvs. >> trucks. >> left turn lights. >> highways. >> speed bumps. >> bumpy roads. >> bottom line, gayle gets me. and there are a lot of things that bother me. [ bleep ] you. [ bleep ]. you think you own the road just
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because you own a handicap van? >> but other than that, he's a lot of fun. >> no, gayle. you're a lot of fun. suck it, kimmel. you go, gayle. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry that it's come to this. well, please give my best to your new friend, donald trump and his hair. "the celebrity apprentice" is on sunday nights on nbc. and "the adam corolla show" is on itunes or go to his website to download it. thank you for being here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] sergio! christina! question for you. what factors led you to buy your explorer. definitely the ecoboost option. what's pretty amazing is that you can get the fuel economy of a car in an suv.
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that basically did it for us. and the technology... oh, my goodness, the technology is amazing. everything is touch. you can actually talk to the car and it talks back to you. what have your friends said about your explorer? can we drive it? can we borrow it? what's your answer? no. no way. uh uh. (laugh)
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all the different schedules i have. my clinical, research, kids' schedules. i can be a mom, i can be a doctor, and i can be a scientist because i have a blackberry. it's my other brain. [ male announcer ] blackberry bold. be bold. [ male announcer ] blackberry bold. people are selling their old rides, looking for something new. i would love better gas mileage. yeah... it kills me every time i have to go to the pump. that's it. i can't sit here a moment longer. i had no idea ford focus would have all this. this is awesome. does mileage matter? it's 40 miles... 40 miles per gallon. you've got active park assist. perfect. i usually have someone get out of the car and help me parallel park.
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if you're going to be in the l.a. area, and want to see the show, call 866-jimmy-tix. or go to jimmykimmellive.com. get the new "jimmy kimmel live" app and see what you've been missing. search jimmy kimmel in the itunes app store or go to jklapps.com to get it now. doers. here's to more saturdays in the sun. and budgets better spent. here's to turning rookies - into experts, and shoppers into savers. here's to picking up. trading up. mixing it up. to well-earned muddy boots.
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now, normally, we would bring out a guest at this juncture in the program, but our guest is not here. lil wayne was supposed to be our guest at this point. but lil wayne is unavailable right now. he's busy. i hope he hasn't been incarcerated again. [ laughter ] so, how about you in the purple -- you in the purple right there. would you mind being lil wayne for me? yeah. come up here for a second. [ cheers and applause ] come up here for a second. yeah. come up here. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? >> okay. >> jimmy: i want you to go behind that door right there. when i say lil wayne, i want you to come out okay? >> all right. >> jimmy: and put this wig on also. okay? actually, does anybody have like a big hat? a big baseball cap here? oh, yeah.
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yeah, yeah. can i borrow that from you? can i borrow that? thank you. because lil wayne always wears a hat. you have to put on the hat, too, okay? all right. put the hat on. there you go. all right. this will be even better. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] does he have a microphone on back there? we'll put it on when he comes out here. our next guest is one of the most popular rappers in the world. he has multiplatinum records and multi criminal records, grammys he has all kinds of stuff on his teeth. please welcome, lil wayne, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] let me just put that right -- put that right there, if you don't mind. how are you, lil wayne? >> i'm great. >> jimmy: you're doing well? >> doing well. >> jimmy: it's great to have you
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here. i understand you had a little trouble getting here. >> yes. >> jimmy: what happened? >> um -- [ laughter ] i was listening to the radio. >> jimmy: okay. >> and just got into it. and just couldn't -- couldn't make it here. >> jimmy: you said you started jamming and it was a problem? >> it was a problem. i had to stop. the lights and the cars. and just had to go for it. >> jimmy: yeah. okay. all right. but i'm so glad you got here on time. it's great to have you here. and congratulations on being out of jail. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. i'm out of jail. no longer incarcerated. >> jimmy: what were you in for? i forget. [ laughter ] >> speeding. >> jimmy: speeding. >> i was speeding. >> jimmy: the police are very -- really very aggressive. you know? i mean, to put somebody in prison for eight months for speeding.
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>> eight long months. >> jimmy: it seems excessive. which prison were you in? [ laughter ] >> north ridge. >> jimmy: the north ridge prison? i thought you were out at rikers island. >> that's what it is. the north side of rikers island. >> jimmy: when you're in on the inside, it doesn't matter where you are. you don't know what's going on. >> north, east, west. it was crazy. >> jimmy: and doing eight months, that's a lot of time to do. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's not quick in and out lindsay lohan kind of thing. >> no. >> jimmy: we're talking about serious time. did you have a cell mate? or were you in a cell by yourself? >> i was by myself. >> jimmy: you were by yourself. did you interact with the other prisoners? >> no, man. >> jimmy: you did not? you kept to yourself? >> yes. >> jimmy: even at the community time when you go out and lift weights and that stuff. >> i don't lift weights. >> jimmy: okay. were you productive in prison during your time? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what sorts of things did you do? >> i read. >> jimmy: you read. what books did you read? anything from oprah's book club?
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>> no. "to kill a mockingbird." >> jimmy: oh, you read "to kill a mockingbird." i know you're a big sports fan. what are some of your favorite sports? >> love hockey. >> jimmy: hockey? >> i play hockey. >> jimmy: you're wearing purple like purple and black like the l.a. kings. are you a kings fan? >> love the kings. >> jimmy: who's your favorite kings player? >> michael. >> jimmy: michael. michael? [ laughter ] and where are you from originally? [ laughter ] >> new york? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: close enough, i guess. and you're living where, now? in florida? >> yes. >> jimmy: which city in florida? >> miami. >> jimmy: yeah, miami? >> orlando. >> jimmy: no, miami. >> miami. >> jimmy: you were at the nba
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all-star game. we have some pictures of you at the game here. there you are, wearing headphones. actually, i read that these cost $1 million, these headphones. is that true? >> yes. >> jimmy: did you get them for free or did you pay for them yourself? >> they were free. >> jimmy: they were free? and then, why would one wear headphones when one is at a basketball game? you're the one that did it. so, maybe -- here you are, running with kevin durant. apparently on the court. how often do you wash your hair? [ laughter ] >> every day. >> jimmy: every day? >> every day. >> jimmy: with hair like that, i wouldn't think. this is an interesting photograph. this is you and justin bieber. [ laughter ] you know, it's his birthday today. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you get him anything? >> no. >> jimmy: why not?
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>> 'cause he's rich. >> jimmy: did justin visit you in prison? >> no, he did not. >> jimmy: he didn't? >> no. >> jimmy: did that bother you? are there people in your life that you expected to come and visit you that did not show up? >> no. everyone i wanted was there. >> jimmy: everyone you wanted was there? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who visited you there in prison? play along. i'm dying here. >> my -- my -- my -- um, young money. >> jimmy: the young money guys came and visited you. that's nice. and it's young money and lil wayne. do you think eventually you'll grow out of these names? will you become fully-grown adult wayne? will young money become just money and eventually old money? [ laughter ] >> probably not. >> jimmy: probably not. i notice you're wearing a patagonia hat. that seems very outdoorsy. are you an outdoorsman?
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are you an outdoors type? >> i love outdoors. >> jimmy: we see you here skateboarding with justin bieber. how long have you been skateboarding? >> too long. >> jimmy: is this something that you've recently taken up? >> yeah. no. no. i've been doing it for a while. >> jimmy: you know you're under oath, right? i think -- hmm. i think that's about it. that's all i can go with this, i think. what's your -- lil wayne is your rap name. what is your real name? like, your real name. >> oh, karl. my real name. >> jimmy: it's karl? really? [ applause ] you look more like whoopi goldberg than lil wayne. and where are you from, karl? >> i'm from long beach. >> jimmy: you're from long beach. it's nicer having a conversation when you can be yourself for a change, isn't it? >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: thank you, karl, for
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