tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 21, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT
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check in with "good morning america" tomorrow for analysis of tonight's results. thanks for watching abc news. jimmy kimmel is up next. we'll see you here tomorrow. up next on an all new jimmy kimmel live. if they could get him to marry the race, he would probably leave it eventually. >> don cheadle was here and says you're going to get naked here also. >> don is not the boss of me. >> ice cube, and music from kiss. >> there's no
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about a&e's new real life series, "duck dynasty." it's kinda like that old show about another dynasty, except instead of rich women in shoulder pads pulling out each other's hair out, it's about a back country family that got rich making duck calls like this one. thank you. hey guys, let's jam. beautiful. i understand now why they're so rich. by the way, this is a duck call, kids. here's a look at some of the robertson family in "duck dynasty."
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>> when are you going to that fine country club? >> looking like that? >> what are you talking about, looking like that? i don't think your country club will tell, son. >> you did. >> they got a dress code up there, son. >> dicky: tune in to "duck dynasty," the all new real-life series on a&e. show times, exclusive content, and more at aetv.com/duck-dynasty. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with ice cube, music from kiss and kristen bell. [ female announcer ] when it comes to eczema,
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♪ >> hi, everyone. thanks for watching. thanks for coming out tonight. we have a lot of good things tonight. for those of you visiting -- have you ever visited us for spring break, check out the griff ith park observatory, but not to tuesday. i've been sent here tonight to wish you a happy first day of spring. now my work is done. goodnight. it seemed like spring today. birds were chirping. my crop of snow peas is coming along nicely. i saw a robin. he and the guy who plays batman
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were drinking rum on the stairs outside our building. i started my spring cleaning today. i like to do that. it's a good tradition, i think. who wants to hear three dozen paris hilton jokes? because otherwise i'm going to donate them to goodwill. kristen bell and ice cube are here tonight. on our outdoor stage, some kiss. [ applause ] >> are you excited about kiss being here tonight, guillermo? >> jimmy: if you're not excited, why are you wearing the kiss makeup? >> oh, i had a pimple over here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really no way to cover that mustache, is there? you know, it's funny because when you're in that, it just --
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it just looks like a frown really. kiss has 40 metric tons of explosives to fire off. [cheers and applause ] they could probably win a war with a small to medium-sized country with all this. right now they're backstage getting ready for their performance. there they are in their dressing room. >> they're decorating easter eggs. how very martha stewart of them. be careful with it. now we'll have to go to the dry cleaner. the kiss tour, they go on sale and they're touring with motley crue on friday. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have another special guest tonight. we found a gifted young lady on youtube last week. her name is alyssa kramer from oklahoma. her gift is, she's able to say
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any word back words immediately. look at this. >> bank. >> knab. >> burger king. >> mcdonald's. >> jimmy: it goes on and on. we have her outside right now on hollywood boulevard with my cousin sal. [ applause ] when did you discover that you had this gift to say things backwards? >> ever since i learned how to read. >> jimmy: do you do anything else backwards? do you drive backwards? >> no. >> are you ready for a challenge now? >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: we invited her to participate in a game tonight that we call p muts alyssa. this is a rare chance for pedestrians in hollywood to try to stump a 14-year-old girl from oklahoma. let's bring somebody in, our first contestant. what is your name, sir? >> fer nando. >> you're here on see kiss
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tonight? >> yes, i am here to see kiss. alyssa, what's kiss backwards? >> sick. >> give us a word and she has three seconds to say it backwards. all right. go ahead. >> the word is anal fill actic. >> wow, that's right. can't even say that front wards. >> what's your name? >> george. >> where are you from? >> mexico. >> are you here on vacation? >> no. i live here. >> jimmy: okay, very good. i didn't realize we switched over to mexico. i knew we were headed down that way, but okay. george, do you have a word that
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you would like to hear said backwards. >> immigration. >> noah tar gima, that is right. >> can you say numbers backward? >> what's your name? >> teara. >> where are you from? >> orangeville, california. >> do you have a word for alyssa? >> discombobulated. >> jimmy: i don't know if that's right, alyssa. say it again. say the word again. no, no, i think you said the word again. >> discombobulated. >> jimmy: you got an n at the end of that. i think you've stumped alyssa. let's give her a prize.
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>> it's the award here for best dentist. congratulations. >> jimmy: alyssa, i think you were discombobulated there, but i think you didn't hear how she pronounced the word. so we'll come back to you in a minute. >> supposed to be a common word. >> jimmy: don't yell at me. i didn't come up with the word. >> you should walk. >> jimmy: all right. we'll come back to alyssa. that one, we did not expect. you know, they had a gop primary election today in illinois. mitt romney was projected to win big considering the fact that he owns the state of illinois. romney had a big victory, finishing with about 50% of the vote. rick santorum finished with 35% of the vote. newt gingrich finished behind ron paul with only about 8%. some top republicans are urging neath to leave the race, but he
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says he's sticking around. if they could get him to marry the race, he would probably leave it eventually. something to think about. [ applause ] >> jimmy: rick santorick santor asked to debate him one-on-one. romney is now looking ahead to a debate tomorrow night that cuts everyone out. >> this wednesday, mitt romney goes one-on-one against the one man whon stands in the way of his nomination. mitt romney. sit ringside as massachusetts moderate squares off with die-hard conservative romney on the issues that affects all. abortion. >> i will preserve and protect a woman's right to choose. >> i'll be a prolife president. >> the auto bailout? >> i'm not willing to sit back and say too bad for michigan and too bad for the car industry.
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>> let detroit go bankrupt. >> you can't afford to miss it. man versus machine. romney versus romney, a joint presentation of cbs and fox news. [cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is an interesting presidential detail. everyone who's protected by the secret service gets a code name and that includes the major candidates for presidents. an article has revealed the code names for mitt romney and rick santorum. romney's code name is javelin, after the stick he has up his butt, i think. santorum's code name is petrus, which means peter. they get to choose these themselves. if you had the chance to have a secret service code name, wouldn't you make it something cool, like bone saw, or something. instead, javelin and petrus.
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my code name would be superman. that way they would be forced to say, superman has entered the pancake shack. there's an interesting thing going on in canada right now for a site in the legislative assembly of alberta. there's a candidate named danielle smith. she unveiled her campaign bus yesterday. as you see here, the tires are right where one would normally -- she said it was an accident and they're going to fix it as soon as they can. and mile that might be a bit embarrassing for her, her opponent's bus, i think is even worse. this is her opponent's bus. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: please, zip up your tail pipe. free agency news in the nfl today. peyton manning has officially joined the denver broncos, signing a five-year $96 million
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contract, which means tim tebow is out of a job. we're really that happy that he's not working? he's just going to take one of your jobs, right? broncos vice president john elway was at the press conference to welcome him. john elway happens to be one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time and he scored again today, providing us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> i don't get to touch it. i'm used to touch it. would i rather touch it? sure, but i'm 52. [cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was from a different press conference. the leader of a research team in the united kingdom, he believes that human beings are are wasting all our helium. last week he had to cancel an excerpt he was doing because the
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lab didn't have enough helium to run its neutron beams. that made him angry, because we're wasting helium in party balloons all over. sounds like somebody didn't get invited to the other kids' parties. apparently we only have so much. once we're out, we're out. but balloons are important. how would we know where the open houses are? what would clowns hand out? raisins attached to a string? he held a press conference today to raise awareness. >> scientists and medical researchers are launching a war against party balloons. the world's supply is running low, and scientists say party balloons are to blame. >> the problem is, they're going into the you were atmosphere. it's careless and it makes me
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angry. we are squandering an irreplaceable resource. >> what we're trying to say, he's a little bit of a hypocrite. now on the opposite of science, mtv has announced a sixth season of jersey shore after all. no matter how many times you hit them, they will not go away. they're going to tape the new season over the summer with a focus on snooki who will be in the late stages of her pregnancy. i'm worried for her baby. i read somewhere that gerbils sometimes eat their young. when the baby is born, is the baby going to live in the jersey shore out with her? how do you potty-train a child in a home where none of the adults use the toilet? speaking of gorillas, this is video of a silver back gor ail, from the berlin zoo. watch this. gorillas are known from time to time throw things they
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shouldn't, but scoops up a nice handful. you can see the zoo keeper in the back corner there. a handful of mud or dirt, watch this move, this is right ought of high school. [ applause ] >> jimmy: flings it at the zoo keepers. just kidding, guys! let's go out on hollywood boulevard to give alyssa a second chance and our pedestrians a second chance. hello, what is your name? >> i'm franklin. >> where are you from? >> oklahoma city, oklahoma. go thunder! >> jimmy: and does everyone tuck their jerseys in this oklahoma? >> it's a style problem. >> jimmy: all right. now, alyssa, we ran into trouble a moment ago, but give us a word and let's see if alyssa can say it backwards. >> the word is concentration.
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>> jimmy: noah tart nick nok. that's right. very good alyssa, you're back on the horse. get somebody else in there. let's see. what's your name? >> mary. >> where are you from? >> venice, california. >> do you have a good word for us? >> anon mono pia. >> jimmy: wow! who else do we have? >> what's your name? >> justin. >> are you ready to do this? >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: do you think you have a word? >> extraterrestrial. >> jimmy: say that again. close enough. we'll have to verify it. what's your name? >> sal. >> jimmy: hold on. i'm taking you in.
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>> we have kiss on the show tonight. >> jimmy: they make that in a button down. is that for weddings and funerals? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you have a word for alyssa? >> mosquito. >> jimmy: say that again. that's close enough. go change, will you? >> this is an easy one. cuff? >> cuff? [ laughter ] >> her mother is two feet away. >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. we have kiss on the show tonight. ice cube is here tonight and we'll be back with kristen bell.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the show an actor and legendary rapper, you can see him in the new movie "21 jump street." ice cube is here. and one of the biggest rock bands of all time is here. tickets go on sale this friday. kiss is here. what's your favorite kiss song? >> i want to rock'n'roll all
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night and party every day. >> jimmy: you pulled that one out of somewhere. i got you. we'll be joined tomorrow by the great don rickels. rickles, amanda de cadenet and we'll have music from the band from the muppets, dr. teeth and the electric mayhem. featuring a drum battle between travis barker of blink 182 and animal. and on thursday, kristin chenoweth, nascar driver jimmie johnson, and music from neon trees. >> jimmy: our first guest is a charming and exceptionally talented, young woman. you know her as the mars kid from "veronica mars," the marshall girl in "forgetting sarah marshall," and now she can be and heard using words allowed only on premium cable in "house of lies." watch it on showtime sunday nights at 10:00. please welcome, kristen bell.
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>> jimmy: you look gate. everything all right? >> everything's great. >> how is your fiance? >> he's delicious. as always. yes. he's delicious. >> very good. please give him my best. >> i will. he's been very obsessed with his feet lately. >> jimmy: i noticed that about him. it's an uncomfortable thing to bring up, but yeah, he's very proud of his feet. >> it started at your house. >> jimmy: he received his feet at my house. >> he was given his feet. well, because he, what it came down to, for some reason, he doesn't think he's like super hand some, but there are a couple body parts that he does like on himself. so he comp sats. since that night where he challenged your friend daniel to take his shoes off and let the group vote on who had prettier feet. he has now been crazy docky about his feet and how gorgeous they are.
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he describes them as elegant, dramatic. >> jimmy: i think that was the best descriptive word that he used. >> a dramatic art. he now says he's got a trademark infringement on mcdonald's for using golden arches. heave said to daniel, he shamed him -- daniel did bring a knife to a gunfight, but he said, you have fred flintstone feet. i have fred astair's. >> jimmy: she does have nice feet. it was weird because it happened once at my house. am i wrong, or did it happen again? >> you bercha. it's been happening ever since. >> jimmy: it happened at the super bowl? >> yes. he and your friend daniel were talking about it. someone came up and said, what are you guys referencing? and dax goes, let's do it again
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and they proceeded to do the whole thing over again. poor daniel, his feet are fine, but they're not glorious. and dax, his feet look like a dancer on steroids. just a beautiful -- it's almost like he's walking on an isos leez triangle. >> jimmy: is that something that you attracted you to him? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: i thought about getting into the foot battle because i have pretty descent-looking feet. >> do you? >> jimmy: i thought, that's ridiculous. i'm not sitting in a circle, comparing my feet to them plus i have a toe that looks like a talon. >> we all do. we all have some sort of ear lobe hanging from a toe. everybody's got weird things happening, but he loves the perfection of his feet. >> jimmy: and lucky you, you get to admire them anytime you want. >> i do, i get to see them and smell them. >> jimmy: they smell clean?
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>> yeah, they don't smell. >> jimmy: that's wonderful. you have a connection to detroit. >> i do. >> jimmy: kiss means a lot to detroit. and you got to meet them backstage. >> i got walking lessons in the boots. i kind of game prepared, if you know what i mean. >> jimmy: you and kiss wear similar boots? >> well, we all want to elongate our legs, don't we? >> jimmy: this is a great night for foot fetishes. and did you meet ice cube backstage? >> i haven't. i would like to. >> jimmy: well you're too young for nwa? >> no, i had a pension for a lot of rap music when i was in high school. >> jimmy: what were you into? >> there was a period of six months where i was only listening to k.c. and jojo. i would sit in my car and cry. i loved it. the boys in my grade, i wanted so badly to be cool that i was
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loving cypress hill and too shore and there are some nasty songs on too short's album, and i knew every word. >> jimmy: your parents were okay with that? >> no. it was only for the car music. >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> i would never bring it in the house. >> jimmy: would your parents be in the car? >> no. but once a bought a jerky boys c.d., when i was 16. i thought it was the funniest thing i'd ever heard. my mom found it, that was a no-go. she took it away. years later i found out that the artist formerly known as my stepdad larry and has been enjoying it ever since. >> jimmy: really? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: damn that larry. >> he's like i took that c.d. out of the confiscation box. >> jimmy: you can a confiscation box? >> i just made that up. >> jimmy: that's a good idea. >> no. don't take stuff away from your
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your hometown. did you find anyplace skeletons in the closet? >> like what? >> a secret love child with an uncle. >> i don't know. a secret wedding. >> that's right. we found out about the wedding. >> officer dang ler, dick dang ler. >> jimmy: that is kristen bell. very good show you have here. very snapy and funny and stylish. your costar don cheadle was here, and he insisted that everyone is going to get naked on the show. he got naked on the show and he says you are going to get naked on the show also. >> let me tell you one thing, don is not the boss of me.
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okay? despite what he might tell you. no, first of all, i do really enjoy the opening shot of the whole series, on those beautiful bun cakes of his. because i think it's about time to turn the tables a little bit. girls are always getting naked in everything. it's like -- >> jimmy: it's disgusting. >> i agree. i'm going to let them have it for a while longer. plus, at this point in my life, dax has purchased this real estate, so this is really a battle between dax and show time. because they got to go through him. i don't have involvement. i got to check with him. >> jimmy: that's kind of what i thought. i expressed that to don. >> he got sassy about it? >> jimmy: he did. in a way, i think i encouraged him. i think now he may even attack you or something like that. you have to be really careful. >> i can take him. >> jimmy: i'm just saying, if
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you're in your dressing room, look out for cameras. and you're not in the movie, "the hunger games"? >> correct. >> jimmy: but you had like a "hunger games" birthday party? >> obsession. >> jimmy: which is weird, right? >> no. have you read them? >> jimmy: it's not -- >> then you don't know. i read the book. i was so -- i thought, this is it. this is the piece of literature and in a hundred years, it will be the best thing ever written. i was so taken with it. i kept saying to dax, you've got to read this. he's like, i don't know. if john crack hour didn't write it, it's probably not for me. so i almost convinced him to read it. then we're in the airport, this adorable 12-year-old wanted to come up for an autograph. i said, of course. she saw i was holding the book and she said, oh, my god, you're
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reading "the hunger games," i love the "hunger games." then he was like, i'm definitely not reading it. so i said, what if i read it to you, right? >> jimmy: okay. >> and i did, outloud, all three books. i have technically read the trilogy twice. >> jimmy: you read the whole thing allowed to dax? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how long did that take? >> like three weeks. we did a couple chapters a night. he was really into it. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. and i did the voices and stuff. but what we did find out, he's an insomniac, pure and simple. after a chapter, i can lull him to sleep with the sound of my voice, which is a whole new issue. >> jimmy: he's got a fiance and a son, that's nice. >> exactly. then my birthday party after "the hunger games," it was pretty intense. i was dressed at katniss. >> jimmy: we've got to get you in this movie. it comes out on friday.
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>> there's one part i'm right for. >> which one? >> johana, mason. >> jimmy: you'd be good as her. >> you haven't even seen it, but you're still supportive. hollywood is a competitive business. >> jimmy: kristen bell, everybody. we'll be right back with ice cube. [ male announcer ] cowhide dries out. so does your manhide.
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>> dicky: "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is sponsored by bud light. 11 years playing the outfield, and i got no plans to retire. [ female announcer ] aging may slow a dog down, but iams helps keep dogs playing year after year with our age-specific nutrition. and now, even for dogs 11 and older with new iams senior plus. it helps boost the immune response to that of an adult dog and helps fight signs of aging. [ dog ] i'll never be a bench-warmer. [ female announcer ] new iams senior plus. see the iams difference or your money back. [ dog ] i am an iams dog for life.
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is a total slam dunk. hey guys. how's everything going? yes! enjoying your bourbon street chicken & shrimp? slam it! yes! the game's on behind me, right? yup. [ male announcer ] it's all-new and all jazzed up with the flavors of bourbon street. enjoy a real fan favorite like our zesty bourbon street chicken & shrimp. or really score with our perfectly seasoned new entree: blackened chicken penne. one appetizer, two entrees, 20 bucks. enjoy the game and a great deal, only at applebee's. now serving half-price appetizers late night.
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enjoy the game and a great deal, only at applebee's. >> jimmy: our next guest is an original, original gangster, who memorably articulated his opinion of the police. a quarter-century later, he's joined the force in the number one movie in the country, "21 jump street." please say hello to ice cube.
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[cheers and applause ] >> how you doing? >> jimmy: doing well. congratulations on "21 jump street," a big success. [ applause ] >> jimmy: your co-stars, jonah hill and channing tatum were here last week and they talked a lot about you. >> oh, yeah? >> jimmy: they did. >> what did they say? >> jimmy: they said you never laughed on the set. you were pretty stoic through the whole thing. one time they catch you, see you laughing hard. they say, what's so funny? you said, friday. is that true? >> i was looking at my check from the "21 jump street" movie. it's funny compared to that.
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>> jimmy: and then another time they said that they asked who you thought the greatest rapper of all time was. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you said? >> i said me. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i don't know what they thought i was going to say. >> jimmy: who do you think is the second greatest rapper of all time? >> the younger me. >> jimmy: the younger you, because your son is now rapping. >> yes, that's my son. >> jimmy: he looks really just like you. >> yeah, he looks a little bit like me. i can't deny it. >> jimmy: why would you? he's jacking for beats and all that stuff. i notice the first track is called can't nobody whip the kid. did you whip the kid? >> yeah, sometimes. you know. >> jimmy: so right off the bat,
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he's wrong. is that fun -- both of your sons are doing this stuff, right? >> yeah. i got another son named dough boy. >> jimmy: i looked him up today. i heard that your son was rapping. i figured dough boy is going to be fat. thing as a rail. >> he's thin, too. >> jimmy: you hear dough boy, you think there's going to be meat on him? >> a little bit. i guess it's an oxymoron a little bit. >> jimmy: when these guys, like channing tatum and jonah hill are asking you, considering the fact that you're playing a policeman, which to those of us who grew up with your music, seems crazy. i mean, does it seem weird to you? >> a little sack religious. but it's acting. it's not real. so i figured it was cool. kids are starting to call me captain dixon when i'm walking around. they want me to yell at them and
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cuss them out. >> jimmy: and do you? >> no problem. cuss your little bad ass out. get out of here. >> jimmy: did you ever have any situations where the police, because of that song, they held that against you? >> i mean, not now. you know what i mean? i got money now. before, i was broke and it was a lot of problems with the police back then. >> jimmy: but as a result of the music? >> we was in nwa one time. they had told us if you do f the police, you can't do on tour. so we didn't do it. >> jimmy: who told you this? >> the promoters. and the last show, we was like, we going to do this. so we dropped the song, and the police started throwing m80s,
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cherry bombs on the stage. >> jimmy: the police are throwing things at you. >> they caused a riot. dre went out the side of the building, joe lewis arena in detroit. dre ran out the side. me and yeller, we got a ride back to the hotel. they rounded us up, told us, we going to take you to jail. we told you not to perform that song. >> jimmy: they got you at the hotel? >> they rounded us up, said, look, if you sign autographs for my kids, you won't go to jail. [ laughter ] >> i'm like, dude, y'all caused a riot for an autograph. >> jimmy: speaking of detroit, is kiss a band that was on your radar as a kid? >> kiss, yeah, yeah. i was a fan of kiss. i was young. i think they had a tv special one time. i checked it out. yeah, i was at the super bowl, and they performed.
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i want to rock all night and party every day. >> jimmy: this could be the beginning of a beautiful collaboration. >> they owe me $50 from that card game we had. i'm going to be on their radar. >> jimmy: congratulations on the success in the movie. "21 jump street" is in theaters now. we'll be right back with kiss. pluz pluz
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♪ i feel uptight on a saturday night nine o' clock the radio's the only light ♪ ♪ i hear my song and it pulls me through comes on strong tell me what i got to do ♪ ♪ i got to get up everybody's gonna move their feet get down ♪ ♪ everybody's gonna leave their seat you gotta lose your mind in detroit rock city ♪ ♪ get up everybody's gonna move their feet get down ♪ ♪ everybody's gonna leave their seat getting late i just can't wait ♪ ♪ ten o'clock and i know i gotta hit the road first i drink ♪ ♪ then i smoke start up the car and i try to make the midnight show ♪
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