means. >> you know, john berman actually quit today. way to finish strong, buddy. we'll miss you. jimmy kimmel is next. goodnight, america. >> tonight on jimmy kimmel live. kristen bell and dax sheppard. >> here we go. here we go. here we go. >> she's not worried if something comes out because she knows they'll all think it's me. >>. >> i'm now going to touch your groin with the back of my hand. >> music from the cult, and this week in unnecessary censor ship. >> who has two thumz and is ♪

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kristen bell, dax shepard, jason mantzoukas. and music from the cult. with cleto and the cletones. and now, at last, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola. thank you very much. that's very nice. thank you. thank you, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching at home. thank you for being here in our

studio tonight. i had a feeling you would show up. it's friday night, tell you something. i am ready to p-a-r-t right? i'm ready to part. i'm leaving, in fact. there -- there's something very rare happening this weekend. a solar eclipse. specifically, an annular eclipse, which is, that's the one that looks like a ring of fire. the last time one of these eclipse was visible in the united states was 1994, when the music of ace of base ruled the charts. we know how that worked out. this eclipse doesn't happen until sunday afternoon. they say, if you want to get a good spot, you should start staring into the sky right now. i know they say you're not supposed to look at it, but i'm looking at it. i'm going to. i'm looking right at it. i don't care. i do what i want. i think it's so cute when astronomers think we're going to look up from our iphones to see their eclipse, isn't it? [ laughter ] meanwhile, here on planet earth, there's big investment news.

facebook went public this morning. um -- [ laughter ] not only one person, a single clap. [ laughter ] facebook public -- facebook sold $16 billion worth of stock today, making it the largest initial public offering for an american company ever. the winkle vos twins are on suicide watch. somebody should probably call to check on tom from myspace. facebook is now valued at $104 billion. more than mcdonald's, more than disney, that's -- the company whose primary purpose thus far has been to update on what your former college roommate had for breakfast is that much. worth more than mcnuggets and mickey mouse. it's unbelievable. part of their success comes from the fact that they don't waste the whole day screwing around on facebook. mark zuckerberg personally made

$1.5 billion today. that is more than i make in a year. that is -- [ laughter ] amazing. he's now -- they estimate he's now worth $20 billion. you know how many home perms he could buy with $20 billion? this is kind of funny. on cbs this morning, this morning charlie rose had a satellite interview with jerry brown. the california governor. they talked about the state budget deficit. there's talk we may have to sell the kardashians here in california. [ laughter ] but governor brown is undeterred. he's bullish on the people of california and our history of creativity and inventiveness and he used the success of facebook to illustrate that confidence. >> we are very entrepreneurial, very innovative and people are still coming here, you know, this is where they invented facebook. not in texas, not in arizona, not in manhattan. and certainly not under the, you know, the white house, the congress. this is still the wild west and we're going to prove to the rest of this country and the world

that we know how to do it. >> facebook was invented in cambridge, massachusetts. >> well, this is where they are. >> jimmy: well, don't be such a stickler for details, charlie. i'm trying to make a point. [ laughter ] let me tell you something. that was our old governor, he would have melted charlie with his laser beam eyes. that would have been the end of it. this is interesting. according to new census data, for the first time in history, there were more minority children born in the united states last year than caucasians. so, nice job, guillermo, first of all. [ applause ] he had a baby. the census bureau said that just over 50%, 50.4% of american babies last year were born to minority parents. which means we're halfway to our goal of an america that can dance. [ laughter ] and, while i'm sure that people will be upset by this, calls to have fences built in uteruses or whatever they call them, the

fact of the matter is, america is a melting pot. we came to this country from many different lands and our differences make us stronger. without immigrants, we wouldn't have the choco-taco. [ laughter ] and i'm confident, in the future, our new majority will enrich us in ways we never imagined we'd be enriched before. >> we are america's minorities. >> black. >> latino. >> asian. >> indian. >> native american. >> and now we are the majority. >> the majority. >> don't worry, white people. >> we would never abuse our power. >> never. >> no way. >> by discriminating against you. >> taking your land. >> frisking you for no reason. >> shipping you to internment camps. >> making you go to the back of the bus. >> putting you on reservations. >> or making you slaves. >> we would never do anything like that. >> we promise. >> we swear. >> honest. >> we will be nice. >> if you will. >> respect us.

>> and we won't do to you all the [ bleep ] you did to us. >> pay back didn't have to be a bitch. >> you got that, [ bleep ]? [ laughter ] now go watch "mad men." >> paid for by the coalition to prevent white people from getting what we so richly deserve. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, speaking of people of color, the so-called tanning mom continues to -- [ laughter ] pop up in the news. you remember this woman? her name is patricia. she's accused of letting her 5-year-old daughter use a tanning bed. she denied it. we haven't heard much of that since, but we have seen here. cameramen have been camped outside her house. one of them caught her on the lawn and asked about rumors that said she wanted to pose for "playboy" and this is what he had to say. >> the other day you said you would pose for "playboy." if they asked you. maybe have said they don't want

you -- >> they called me. >> they called you? >> couple other people. >> jimmy: what did she say? tamaz? play that last part again. >> tamaz. >> jimmy: what the hell is that? oh, tmz. tmz. okay. thank you. tamaz. [ cheers and applause ] fortunately -- [ applause ] patricia has a teenage daughter who is apparently a lot brighter than her mom. >> how are you doing? >> it's over. >> i don't know. >> okay. >> let's go. let's go. >> that's how it goes. >> let's go! >> my husband -- >> let's go. you're doing this on purpose. >> no, i'm not. >> my husband got a document -- >> all they do is make fun of you. they're [ bleep ] losers. get in the house, let's go! get in the house! are you serious? >> jimmy: but there's no sun in the house. why would i go in there? [ laughter ]

i would like to invite her to california to watch the eclipse with me on sunday. wouldn't that be funny? here's a marvel of modern science. a woman named kathy, she's been paralyzed for 11 years. she can now do things for herself thanks to a new invention called brain gate. scientists implanted a chip in her brain, which enable her to move a robotic arm just by thinking about it. >> it had been 11 years since a stroke left kathy paralyzed from the neck down, but completely aware. a sensor with 100 electrodes was surgically placed on her brain to pick up the signals that brains create when we think about movement. researchers report she's gone even further, using her mind to control a robotic arm. >> oh! ow! what the [ bleep ]? [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: she's got a very good sense of humor, i guess. [ applause ]

this morning on "the today show," they had an interview with dr. fred boyce, he's a herpetologist. sounds like the guy they send in to test the jersey shore hot tub. but he's an expert on represent reptiles and amphibians. he was caught on video trying to subdue an alligator that got too close to houses in the area and he had some trouble trying to do that, but not as much trouble as savannah guthrie had trying to interview him about it. >> it's right next to a highway -- >> so, you -- >> pretty high speed traffic passes by. >> you felt like you had to do something. >> i felt like i did because i was expecting other people to have come and responded. >> fred, let's ask -- >> it was a woman with small kids and she was concern body

this alligator in her front yard. >> sure, sure, let's talk about -- >> i would have loved to have left it there. >> let's talk about -- >> alligators are very closely related to birds. the muscles that open the jaw are incredibly weak. >> but instead he turns on you. speaking of that -- >> i think i lost my footing in the ditch. it was slippery. >> well, you're brave to face an alligator. thank you so much for being with us. we really appreciate it. >> oh, sure. >> jimmy: now he clams up. alligator try to shut his mouth. a single man, i'm guessing. if you watch our show last night we spent some time can cory, the guy that dresses up like chewbacca -- he's standing right there, hello, cory. [ applause ] last night, cory mentioned that he was borrowing a friend's dog

so he could take it to the park to help him meet women today. that's correct, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. now -- >> i did. >> jimmy: there are very few things that interest me more than watching cory try to pick girls up with a rental dog, so, we sent a camera crew along -- and have you had success doing this before? with the dog? >> ah -- no, not really. >> jimmy: not really. let's see how it went with cory today. >> all right, so -- here we are at the dog park. this is where the girls are at. and the dogs, that's why i brought you. look at that. let's go talk to her. you just be cute, just keep looking like you look and i guarantee you she's going to like me. and you, too, i guess. hey, wow. i noticed you -- i noticed you noticing me, yeah, this is my dog. >> adorable. >> yeah. he's cute, i just -- my friend let me borrow him just so i could meet girls like you.

i want to get straight to the point here. do you -- you got a boyfriend? >> um -- not at the moment. >> you don't? >> no. not an official boyfriend. dating. >> that's what you could use me for. i could be your boyfriend, right? >> i don't really want one, though. >> why not? i come with all sorts of benefits. i can take you to taco bell and look at you and just hang out. >> well -- i don't know. that's very tempting, but i don't know about that. >> you want to sit on that bench and just have a, like, a mini picnic except without food? just get this started. >> get what started? >> our date. our life. our future. are you a prostitute? okay, good. i won't ask that again. i cleared that up. >> jimmy: cory -- first of all -- don't ask a girl if she's

a prostitute, i mean -- but also, you should have maybe pretended that the dog was yours. i thought that was the whole point of this. >> ah -- >> jimmy: let's see how else he did. >> you know, you probably don't have a boyfriend -- >> no -- no -- yeah, well -- yeah. no, i do -- i mean -- >> i like to keep things simple. maybe me and you should, i don't know. i could see us at taco bell. i really could. i could see us eating at taco bell, just me and you. >> uh-huh. have a good day. good luck with the dog. >> that's it? >> no, that's it. >> but we didn't exchange contact information yet. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't think -- yeah. maybe next time without the outfit on? and -- well, the dog's cute. >> i just -- i just felt like she was leading me on. like -- >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, like. >> jimmy: looked like she was literally leading you on because you were following her like a

dog. >> she's complicated. >> jimmy: i see. i'm sorry it didn't work out. maybe next time. >> yeah. i hope. >> jimmy: thank you. that's cory. he plays chewbacca outside. he lives outside. and you were more thing, another week has come to a close which means it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> taking a stand on [ bleep ]. becoming the first state to ban the controversial practice. >> jpmorgan coe gets ready to [ bleep ] some angry shareholders. >> what has two thumbs and is going to [ bleep ] emily? this guy. >> a guy in ohio just spent 16 hours pumping his [ bleep ] nonstop. >> and so you see a [ bleep ] [ bleep ] battle 2.0, being teed up. >> look, i'm more than happy to talk to you about who i am and you [ bleep ] my [ bleep ] when we were in florida pretty intense. >> what is your phobia?

>> i have an irrational phobia of [ bleep ]. >> he asked me if i know what morals were, ethics were, and then he [ bleep ] me. >> up next, animals [ bleep ] other animals. it is an internet sensation. >> you need a blow [ bleep ]? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. jason mantzoukas is here. we have music from the cult and we'll be right back with kristen bell and dax shepard, so stick around. what are you eating there? oh, it's their new oatmeal. well what's all that la-de-da? fresh blueberries, walnuts -- in oatmeal? in my day, oatmeal had two ingredients,

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight on the show, a very funny guy. you can see him now alongside sacha baron cohen in the new movie "the dictator," jason mantzoukas is with us. [ applause ] music from this album, called "choice of weapon," the cult from the bud light outdoor stage. guy doesn't look happy. by the way, we got a good lineup for you next week. charlize theron will be here, josh brolin will be here. kathy griffin, manny pacquiao, the bachelorette, from "game of thrones," nikolai costerwall. he plays jamie lanster on the show. we'll have music from kimbra, graffiti 6 and gavin degraw. so, please join us for that. seems like two weeks of shows, right? our first guest tonight are

co-stars, both on the screen and in their house. their latest movie is called "it and run," it opens in theaters august 24th. please welcome dax shepard and kristen bell. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: great to see you guys. >> thanks. >> jimmy: let's get the marriage thing out of the way. trying to figure it all out. let's do it right now. [ applause ] we have a minister out there. >> is it binding? is it legally binding? >> jimmy: i know you would be into it. you would be very into this. >> you know, we are very outspoken about supporting gay marriage. we don't want to have a party and invite friends to come that can't do the same thing. >> it's really rude. >> jimmy: don't invite them! >> ditch the gay friends. sorry guys, you're out. straight guys, you're in. >> jimmy: i want to show pictures that you sent us today because they're pretty great. you guys went on a safari. >> yeah.

>> jimmy: is it went on safari or went on a safari. >> the safari, maybe. >> for us, the safari. >> jimmy: okay. so, first of all, at first glance, this is a cute picture of you guys kissing. look in the background. zoom in if you can. if you do, you will see that there is a -- >> 400 pound silverback photobombing us. >> we were just trying to get fresh and then this guy just ruined the frame. >> jimmy: did you know that it was there? >> yeah, we -- we had hiked several hours to be around this gentleman. >> it was in the forest in rwanda and we hiked up to where they are -- >> jimmy: that's what i would have been doing. >> and it was a group of about 30 and you are able to just sit with them and they sort of all walk around you and you just watch them eat eucalyptus and you keep your head down and it's really -- >> jimmy: they eat that?

>> and randomly, if everything goes well for ten minutes, very calm and then the main silverback will just lock eyes with you and come by you, walk somewhere else and in that 30 seconds -- things happen in your body and in your slacks, things can happen in your slacks, even. that's very intimidating. don't judge me! how dare you! on the road with the bosstones, things never happened in your slacks? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's why dicky always wore plaid. >> come on, dicky. of all the guys to be getting the eye from right now is dicky. >> jimmy: you're going to like this, too. a cheetah, which seems way, way too close. i mean, that's -- >> that's in front of the vehicle, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> now, kristen was super comfortable with this. i was not. there were lions -- >> jimmy: you were? >> yeah. >> lions came right up to -- look at this. >> they actually brushed the

side -- this is the vehicle. this is the head lamp of the vehicle and -- >> he's not wearing a shock collar. >> no. this is -- >> we don't have guns. there is no backup plan if he decides to come in the vehicle. >> jimmy: there are no guns? >> no guns, no doors. so, we're basically sitting in lawn chairs and kristen's like, oh, my god, he's beautiful! and i'm thinking -- >> dax is like -- >> jimmy: yeah -- >> he was so nervous. >> jimmy: because it's a lion. >> yes! and they're not known for being smart. >> well, i have an irrational thing. i've never been attacked by an animal so i can't conceptualize it happening. and my intentions are pure. so, when i see him, i assume he will accept me. >> and be very honest now. isn't it also your hunch that if someone is going to get attacked, it will be me? this is like the things she does.

and i'm going to out her for it right now. when we fly together on an airplane, if she's got gas -- >> here we go. >> she's not worried if some comes out, she knows they'll all think it's me. >> the elevation makes me gassy. [ laughter ] >> total freedom. just total freedom -- >> elevation just puts bubbles and sometimes you can't hold it but it is -- it is a very nice underground thing i have because -- >> jimmy: it's not underground anymore. >> well -- >> jimmy: now we are always think it's you, no matter what is going on where you are. >> no, they won't, trust me. i have tested it over and over and over. >> jimmy: really? >> we were one time in an elevator and she had an episode and i said -- >> i eat a lot of roughage. >> i said, if someone gets on this elevator, i'm going to tell them it was you. she goes, don't you dare. sure enough, these two women got on the elevator, joined us for three floors down and when we got off, i said, i want you

to know, it was her. >> and they looked at me as if to say, not only did you fart, you just blamed it on her. what a dirt bag, you smell and you're a dirt bag. it was a double whammy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, you guys -- >> i still win. >> you can't. >> jimmy: this is why animals are so friendly around you. >> i guess. >> jimmy: they are attracted to your scent. >> i'm comfortable. >> jimmy: you guys shot video on this trip. >> quite a bit. >> jimmy: you brought something for us. now, what is this that we're going to see? >> well, we decided to make, obviously, a vacation music video. >> jimmy: of course. >> to one of our favorite songs. >> jimmy: toto's "africa." ♪ ♪ bless the rains down in africa ♪ >> it's a very special song. it got us pumped up for the trip. in front of every species animal over there, we got a verse. i had the whole thing story boarded on post-its from the hotel. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, so we can get the verse in. we're going to cut it together. but this is a -- >> this is some raw footage that we captured.

>> jimmy: tell us what's going on here. >> we're out of the vehicle. >> this is real, guys. this is not computer generated. >> they let us out of the vehicle. we're on safari. we're getting nervous. they are not running yet and, okay, good. they're running. >> jimmy: you are chasing the giraffes? >> catch coming on the right side of the frame. the babies will come in and we just ran into -- and the guide had no problem with this. we were just -- can we jump out here? he was like -- >> jimmy: was the guide qualified? >> his name was meddard and he was wonderful and very trained in all the animals. >> jimmy: he shot the video for you? >> yes. he did say that was the first time that happened on the safari and he also -- we got a ticket while we were on safari because we wanted to see the wildebeest mikerate. we got to them on the serengeti, started doing a dance for this music video.

>> we did a couple of verses. as the dp -- >> he was shooting it. and we weren't paying attention and then the police showed up. oooh. and they fined us $50 for dancing on the serengeti. >> jimmy: that seems like a small price to pay. >> for the story alone -- >> jimmy: are you sure they were police or just guys -- >> shaking down dancers. >> jimmy: you guys made a movie, it's terrific. when we come back, we're going see some of that movie and talk about it. dax shepard and kristen bell are here. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] applebee's new sizzling entrees aren't just a "show." [ sizzling ] there's a reason that sound instantly starts up the waterworks in your mouth. [ sizzling ] it's the sound of flavor erupting, as freshly prepared ingredients sear, simmer, and caramelize, right there at your table. but, hey...it is a pretty good show.

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>> if you're going to be in the l.a. area and want to see the show, call -- what happened to my sub?

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you're going to have a wonderful day today. >> thanks, buddy. >> so terrible on the eyes, i don't know why i share a bed with you. >> hit me in the nose with a golf club? >> i didn't think it would hurt that bad. >> alex, what do you want? >> i want my money. >> i got it. >> we have got to go right now. >> go, baby, go. >> what's going on? >> i was kind of involved in a bank robbery. when i got into witness protection, i knew -- >> you were a bank robber? >> i did the get away driving part. >> who are you? >> you can't outrun me.

>> all right, let's go. >> hey, come out here! >> what are you looking at? >> wrong room, come on. >> that's disgusting! >> jimmy: some highlights. dax sheppard and kristen bell are here. you guys produced this movie, dax, you wrote this movie. directed the movie. everything. your mom did craft service on the movie. >> yes, which i told the story last time i was on and she quit two-thirds of the way. >> jimmy: did she quit or did you fire her? >> she gave up. she left. so, we're going to invite her to two-thirds of the premiere. two-thirds of the way through the movie, we're going to tap her on the shoulder and the guy that replaced her will come in. >> jimmy: that's a very good idea. one of the scenes is very funny. you guys -- well, we saw, you walk in on the old swingers, some sort of -- >> something romantic happening. and in the movie, they're naked. in the preview, obviously, we can't show that.

>> jimmy: they are extra naked in the movie. >> the most naked you could possibly be. >> and one of the guys in particular was a real standout. he immediately -- >> jimmy: what was his name? >> his name was graham. >> hopefully his name still is graham. >> and graham is about 118 pounds and 12 of those pounds are his equipment. >> jimmy: i noticed that. >> he's very blessed. very gifted, talented actor. he was so gifted and talented that he was only scheduled to work one day but i said to kristen, we have to get this guy back. i need more footage of his blessing. >> i said, how are you going to do that? he said, i'm just going to ask him. i said, can i mike you before you do that? i want to know how you're going to ask him so you can get more footage of the -- >> this is what i said to him. i said, graham, we would love for you to come back, we want to try a very creative and progressive shot where we would like to shoot through your legs onto some of the other actors. you have nothing to worry about,

clearly. and he goes, oh, hell, i don't care, i got nothing going on tomorrow, i'm come back. and that was -- damned if we didn't film right between graham's legs. what a beautiful -- >> but what was amazing is that dax was still attempting professionalism back then and when he was asking the dp to start from graham's face and then go down to get the whole scene -- >> you can't really say out loud, we want to get more closeups of your penis. i was saying, and go to his face, and then, linger on the socks. linger on the socks. >> one more time. it was just -- >> jimmy: will graham be invited to the premiere? >> yeah, well -- >> if we can get in touch with him. >> jimmy: what -- >> we -- we got all four of those beautiful actors on craigslist. >> jimmy: really? >> six of them. we decided to put out an ad for

older actors, desiring a professional film that did involve nudity but was not pornographic and would like to be part of, you know, a film. >> he answered that call. god knows what other ads he's answered in the meantime. he could be in afghanistan right now, for all we know. i mean, this guy is down to party, no matter what the ad says. and again, with his blessings -- the sky's the limit. is he going to be at the premiere? we hope so. >> jimmy: you guys did a great job. bradley cooper is very funny. tom arnold is very funny in it. [ cheers and applause ] it came out great. congratulations. >> jimmy: everyone you ever met, i think is in this movie -- except for me. i think you made the right decision, though. great to see you guys. congratulations. if you want to get married on the air next time, just let me know. and if the gay marriage thing is

a problem, maybe you and i just get married. >> i would love to. >> can i come? >> jimmy: the movie is called "it and run." it opens in theaters august 24th. we'll be right back with jason mantzoukas. ♪ n those gardening gloves. and let's see how colorful an afternoon can be. with the home depot certified advice to help us expand our palette... ...and prices that keep our budgets firmly rooted... ...we can mix the right soil with the right ideas. ...and bring even more color to any garden. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. right now, ortho home defense max is just $4.88. ♪ ♪ ♪

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. still to come, music from the cult. our next guest is a talented actor whose last name automatically wins any game of scrabble. he plays a nuclear scientist turned apple store employee in "the dictator." >> we are just two ordinary american tourists. >> i love being an american! >> america is number one! [ speaking foreign language ] >> 911 is the best.

>> i said, 911, 2012. >> ha ha ha ha ha! >> i said, 911, 2012. >> jimmy: please say hello to jason mantzoukas. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jason, i fear you are never going to be allowed to fly again after that. >> that is already a problem. >> jimmy: is it really? >> i look like this with this beard. i walk into an airport and they are like, you're going to need to come over here for a second. i want to say, for a second, it smells horrible right here. >> jimmy: that was dax. >> right here smells like farts. [ applause ]

ah, no. but i am, like, random screening, for real. >> jimmy: really? >> you have that thing where there's the radiation chamber and then there's the metal detector and i always want metal detector because i'm like, they're trying to sterilize me. >> jimmy: i see. >> that's what's happening. i go to metal detector. they like, you have to go over there, buddy. >> jimmy: you don't think these are random -- i don't get -- >> i don't think it's random. that guy with the beard that looks like a homeless al qaeda agent? no, i -- and every time, off to the side, and they're like, do you want a private room? if you want a private room, we can give you a private room. i'm like, i pretty much want to do this right here. and then it's arms wide and then it is just straight pat-down. pat-down. and the best line that they all say is, i'm now going to touch your groin with the back of my hand. and every time, i say, i cannot wait. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do they seem

apologetic? >> they are -- it is interesting, actually. every guy is a little bit different. some of them are, like, sorry, man, this is crazy. some of them are like, all business and some of them are so uncomfortable. one guy was like, hey, man, these are -- these are nice jeans. what kind of jeans are these? and i'm like, you are straight up touching my [ bleep ] right now. i don't care to tell you what kind of jeans these are, because you are basically giving me a hand job. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and you are -- your nationality is greek. >> i am. 100% greek. >> jimmy: have you thought about shaving the beard and getting through more quickly? >> that would be an option, i'm certain. but i keep booking jobs where they're like, can you grow an insane terrorist beard? sadly, i can. i grew this beard at age 11. >> jimmy: what language -- are you speaking a real language -- >> in that clip it is really -- sasha is speaking hebrew.

if anybody knows heebery, you can probably attest to that. i am speaking either crappy arabic or crappy greek. i know the phrase "i am severely allergic to eggs" in a bunch of different languages because i am. in fact, severely allergic to eggs. i am over and over again in this scene asking, "does this have eggs in this?" if you speak arabic and you watch that -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. how many languages do you know how to say that in? >> well, crappy arabic and greek right now. i don't travel a lot. >> jimmy: spanish? >> huevos? i don't know. huevos, aq ui. does that work? >> jimmy: eggs here? you really are allergic? >> i will straight up die. >> jimmy: no. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: epi-pen, for real? >> if i eat eggs -- in the back, they were like, you shouldn't eat any of the catering. i'm like, no, i'm not going to

eat anything anywhere. >> jimmy: eggs are in everything. >> everything. and everything that is and when you tell somebody that, they become super obsessed with it. they're like, oh, my god, wow, eggs are in so much. that means you can't eat -- and then fill in the blank for their favorite food. that means you can't eat pancakes or, have you ever had a chocolate cake? my favorite one recently, i told this woman, i was like, she's like, you can't eat eggs? that means you can't eat, like, gefilte fish. that's your go-to thing? poor jay some mantzoukas is being robbed of this! what a horror. >> jimmy: for the record, you can eat that, right? >> for the record? i don't know. for the record, i'm not trying it. >> jimmy: let's try and see what happens. >> if you do, you are going to watch me die. that's what will happen. >> jimmy: that would be a television first. >> you know what? let's do this. >> jimmy: you definitely make the highlight reel.

>> challenge accepted. remember when johnny carson shot the apple -- well, this would be like your version of that. >> you just watch me swell to death. >> jimmy: you have to steer clear of eggs is the only answer. >> i'll do it if you say so. it's got me through this far. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. congratulations on the movie. i'm very much looking forward to seeing it. it's called "the dictator." it is in theaters now. jason mantzoukas, everybody. we'll be right back with music from the cult. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: this is their new album. it's called "choice of weapon." here with the song "for the animals," the cult. ♪ ♪ ♪ it's not for you ♪ you're crawling him

♪ dark prison you leave me in ♪ you're losing millions ♪ millions of zest ♪ i came to you ♪ with love in my heart ♪ and i ♪ i came to you ♪ with love in my heart ♪ who do you think it is for ♪ for the animals ♪ what you're trying to prove ♪ to the untamed

♪ who you gonna burn ♪ the uneducated ♪ it's not for you ♪ you're crawling him ♪ a dark prison you're living ♪ you're losing millions ♪ millions of zest ♪ just pitch your mantra to go to hell ♪ ♪ i ♪ i came to you ♪ with love in my heart ♪ and i ♪ i came to you ♪ with love in my heart ♪ ♪

♪ for all of the children ♪ staring down the vow ♪ for all of the children ♪ staring down the vow ♪ for the animals ♪ for the unchained ♪ for the uneducated