>> announcer: tonight on jimmy kimmel live, this week an unnecessary censorship. anderson cooper. >> your mom is gloria vandle built. >> they were all girl's jeans. >> scott and music from metric. >> is this going to be one of the nights where you race home to d amera and some

frosting out on to hollywood boulevard and asked if we could harden them up. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> billy from california. >> can we harden you up? >> what? [laugh [laughs]. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> i'm from new york city. >> can we harden you up? >> absolutely.

>> go thunder. >> can we harden you up? >> what do you mean harden me up? [laughs] >> you're hardened up? >> yeah. i think so. >> can we harden you up? >> sure. [laughs] >> you're hardened up. >> yes, go okc. >> can we harden you up? >> yes. [laughs] >> fear the beard. >> can we harden you up? >> sure. >> can we harden you up? >> absolutely. [laughs] >> thank you. that's great. i appreciate that. [laughs] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was great.

there's a new study done in denmark that says moderate amounts of alcohol during pregnancy does not affect the baby's mental ability. which seems like they could have waited a couple more months until snooki had her baby to release this information. or lesscientists the alcoholic beverages a wee while they were pregnant and the risk of negative, mental affects same children of mothers who don't drink at all. up the to eight drinks gives them a nice buzz and leaves their iq unchanged. good work on that scientists. >> don't we still have herpes to cure? speaking of herpes, there's a new reality show from the cast members of jersey shore that premiered tonight. the show is called snooki and j woww. it's a spin off of jersey show. this is their frazier. the idea of the show is snooki and j woww move into an apartment together in jersey

city -- if you were living in apartment building and saw them moving in, you would start moving out, right? to promote the premiere, mtv got her together with the big ang. from the show mob wives on vh 1. you know who big ang is? a woman who i guess, i don't know if she's a mob wife, looks like herman monster. and they had them sit there and talk. their conversations were very interesting. we found a way to make them more interesting. we took the audio from snooki and big ang and combined it with video of the classic magilla gorilla. here is what happened. >> oh. >> he's big. >> does he pee pee? >> everything. >> really? >> yes. >> how big is it? >> yuck. >> i couldn't. that's like a horse penis. >> i guess it goes with his size, 6'7". >> i like little pee pees. >> that's good.

>> here is a good size. >> they say it's not the size. [laughs] >> jimmy: no one loves gorillas more than snooki. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: do you remember brett michaels from the band poison? he has a new endorsement deal. apparently he's an animal lover and has a new product line for people who love pets and rock music. >> hello fellow pet lovers. fellow pet owners i'm brett michaels, and i am bringing you the brett michaels head lock collection, exclusively at petsmart. >> it's to bring out the inner rock star in your dog. you come in, get something from the brett michael pet collection, you may be standing along side with brett michaels on stage. i'll tell you afterwards, we'll sneak out to that bus, have a party, talk about pets.

[laughs]. >> jimmy: great. go out to the bus, put on bandannas and talk basset hounds with brett. best of luck to him on his new venture. have you been following the story of alec baldwin. they went to get their marriage licenses in manhattan and the paparazzi followed them. there was an argument. this happened. the photographer is a guy named marcos santos. he claims he was attacked unprovoked. whatever the guy's name is. later that day, alec wore a sheet when he left his apartment. that way no one would notice him. >> maybe he converted -- i like the woman in the back looking on. what the hell is that? meanwhile the photographer, of course, is claiming to be injured, as they do. he was on "good morning america" today. he did this interview the new york daily news. as you can see here, this is a man who has been deeply shaken.

>> they told me to run. the photographer alec baldwin he is getting married today. and jeff segel was there. and i started to go off segel. pushed him and tried to knock his camera off. and that's when alec baldwin came after me. >> i don't know why he was bothering alec baldwin. sounds to me like his problem was with alex baldwick and his brother allen. the baldwick brothers. [laughs]. >> jimmy: the euro cup is going on right now in the ukraine. is it the ukraine? it's like batman and the batman. portugal beat the czech republican. it was the highest scoring match in soccer history, 1-0. [laughs] it was an exciting game. i wanted to highlight it tonight. i personally selected this moment. it's time for the euro cup play of the day. ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guillermo, have you ever watched the euro cup? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: have you been enjoying it? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: who are you voting for? >> guillermo: germany. >> jimmy: why germany, by the way? >> guillermo: because one of the guys work here. >> jimmy: he's german? i got you. every once in a while guillermo gets asked to do an interview. what is the name of this show you did? >> guillermo: young hollywood. >> jimmy: young hollywood? >> guillermo: yes. it's young with a y. >> jimmy: when i think of young hollywood, i think dakota fanning, selena gomez and i think of you, guillermo. [laughs]. >> jimmy: he is on this internet

show [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the host is very attractive woman named nikki novak. maybe you can explain to us what was going on here. >> there's a good deal at jimmy kimmel, we would love it if you would leave and become our security guard here at young hollywood. just to let you know what it would be like if you worked here, we wanted to give you a little taste. >> okay. >> come on back here. here is some tequila and remote for the tv. feel free to watch the tv. >> oh, yeah. watch the nba basketball. >> we can watch kimmel. you don't have to be on it. you can watch it. you want to watch nba. >> who wants to watch kimmel. >> you don't have to do that, sweetie. i'll do it for you. how is that? anybody got a shot glass? >> this is great. >> you like it. >> kimmel never done this before. >> no? >> no. >> no, sweetie here you go. >> you smell better than him.

>> thank you. >> what are you wearing? >> jimmy, it's all over. >> jimmy: seems like you're getting awfully cozy on that set there, guillermo. [ applause ] by the way, i want to say i watched this and for a short interview i noticed you touched nikki a lot. let's see how much times guillermo touched her. >> look at the camera, be yourself. [ bleep ]. >> i like this tie. >> you like my tie. >> you can have it. >> and it matches your nails. >> come on back here. >> we have some ta key la. >> eleven times. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: you never touched me like that. why did you need to touch her eleven times? >> i like her. she's very hot. >> jimmy: i see. is this going to be one of the

nights where you race home to delete the show before your wife sees it? >> you're right. [laughs]. >> jimmy: maybe you better head out right now actually. guillermo asked me to mention, magic mike, movie. it's about the male strip industry. matthew mcconaughey and young up and comer that the think i the ladies will go nuts for. >> what can you touch and not touch? can you touch this? >> no, no no. >> i want to touch. >> you can't touch. >> can you touch this? >> yes. >> can you touch this? >> yeah. >> no, no, no, no, no. >> you cannot touch a lot of things. >> i want to touch. >> i see a lot of lawbreakers up in this house. >> i'm an outlaw, matthew. [ cheers and applause ].

>> you can touch this. [ applause ]. >> jimmy: so young hollywood. i apologize. one more thing, it's thursday night. weekly tribute to the fcc bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is this week unnecessary censorship. [ cheers and applause ]. >> these guys just graduated from high school, give me that line, picture yourself, you want a job, take it away, one line. >> my name is hul owe, i love [ bleep ]. i want to work in video production. >> everybody gets a t-shirt, tonight, [ bleep ], towel. i wouldn't wash my [ bleep ] with this thing. >> registration for the [ bleep ] kicking. >> you know there has to be somebody to settle down with. >> i have [ bleep ] this big. i really do. >> james doesn't look overly

concerned. >> i knew he was going to [ bleep ] me and i stepped back and he kept coming. >> came home to find out somebody broke into her apartment and was [ bleep ] in her bathroom. >> they're telling us that cameron had a big [ bleep ] which is what i have. >> today's most controversial topic, [ bleep ]. >> how long would you go before you fin? >> [ bleep ]. >> jack, [ bleep ] you. >> big question to ask everybody tonight, who wants to [ bleep ] my [ bleep ] [ applause ]. >> jimmy: we have a show for you tonight, we will be right back with anderson cooper and we have metric and scott caan. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ]. ♪

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serving up fords...with everything on them. >> jimmy: tonight on the program from program, from "hawaii five-o," the new one, scott caan is here. and then with music from this new album called "synthetica," an excellent young band from canada. metric from the bud light outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] we've got a good line up for you next week. katy perry, howie mandel, matt leblanc, selma blair, louis ck and we'll have music from the offspring and linkin park. and if the thunder won the game tonight join us before game six on sunday with our guest ray romano. before the game on the east coast, after on the west. and if there is no game 6 just take a nap instead. >> jimmy: our first guest can be seen regularly on three different tv shows. "ac 360" on cnn. "60 minutes" on cbs and "anderson" in syndication.

plus, he calls bingo on monday and thursday at st mary's armenian church. please welcome anderson cooper. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: how are you? >> thanks for coming. >> i didn't know you knew about the bingo. >> jimmy: i keep a breast of all your developments. >> you make ryan seacrest look like he's lazy. >> he's raking in the money. >> jimmy: i guess so. you're not doing too badly yourself. when you arrive in a city, because you're not usually here in l.a., do people get nervous, thinking there might be a hurricane on the way? >> yeah. i saw a tweet called me a an angel of death. ethought defense bleak. when i check into a hotel, other people are checking in, don't worry, it's nothing. i'm sure it will pass over. they get very nervous. >> jimmy: i get especially nervous if you're wearing

chakkys. >> so you're here, are you staying at your friend kathy griffins house. >> i will never stay with kathy griffin again. >> jimmy: that's a wise move. >> has she ever asked to stay at your house? >> jimmy: we live in the same city, i will never go to her house when she invites me. i never go anywhere with her. one of the reasons is because she gave so much detail about staying at your house. >> right. she insisted one weekend and she wanted to go out the night before i was there. so kathy griffin ever asks to go to your house alone, never allow it. i sent her a key and she gets out there and i'm on -- during the news that night on cnn i get these tweets on her during my broadcast, they are naked photos of her that she is tweeting and not just like naked, you know, out of the shower, like her

sprawled on the couch and, i mean, i had to get a cleaning crew in my house. then, i get out there and she is the most demanding house guest. >> jimmy: she is? >> she pretends to be salt of the earth, all down to earth, she is the most fancy person i know. she expects my house to be doubten abby. some staff of people there and there's no staff, two bedrooms. >> jimmy: that's unacceptable. there must be a staff. >> she went to go over to george stephanopoulos's house. she heard tlafs staff there. >> jimmy: are you real friends? >> we're real friends. what's really weird is she is a very -- i'm close friends with her, she is a really good friend of my mom's now. >> jimmy: really? >> literally my mom has had dinner parties for her.

>> jimmy: his mom is gloria vanderbilt. i wore her jeans through high school. >> you must have been a popular young boy because they were all girl's jeans. [laughs]. >> but, so they hang out and they talk about sex all the time and. >> jimmy: great? >> it's really bizarre. >> that's what you want to hear from mom. >> or from kathy griffin. [laughs] >> jimmy: does your mom get uncomfortable talking about that in front of you? >> no, not about anything. my mom wrote -- written a bunch of books erotic novel. romance book about all the guys she hooked up with. she asked me to proofread it. i know. exactly. and she looked -- my mom got around. she dated marlyn bran doe for a night. literally, she and her friend carol saw -- went to movie, this is when he was on the

waterfront. they decided they both wanted to date him. and they both succeeded in dating him. >> simultaneously? >> no. literally within short succession. my mom wrote this book at age 85 and was describing a guy she was currently dating i don't know if i can say this, as the that gin ski of con lin gus. [laughs] there you go. >> jimmy: we might have to bleep both of those words. [laughs]. >> jimmy: what are you doing right now? what show? you have so many show hs, which one are you working on right now? >> well, i'm working on all of them. i'm leaving -- i have the daytime show is up for three emmys. >> jimmy: congratulations. [ cheers and applause ]. >> then i leave that night to go to africa for 60 minutes. i'm shooting a story in watts

wanna. >> jimmy: what's the story? >> they don't like you to talk about the stories in advance. it's basically kind of dangerous wildlife story. >> jimmy: you're looking for obama's birth certificate over there? [laughs] why do they send you to dangerous -- you seem to be in dangerous situations. the people you work with not like you? [laughs]. >> you know, i like conflicts and i'm interested in that. >> jimmy: the people in the conflict zones what are you doing here? you don't have to be here. >> usually people appreciate people coming to tell their story. but, yeah, i've gone diving with great white sharks off south ach africa. >> jimmy: bad idea. >> it's a similar story. >> jimmy: now, probably most people seen at least on the internet the famous video of you couple different times losing your mind giggling. i think the first time was gerard relieving himself on a plane. >> right.

i said that they were lucky it wasn't depar two. given the fact that i have the humor of a 12-year-old boy made me giggle uncontrollable and my giggle is the giggle of a 12-year-old girl. [laughs] >> jimmy: which with the jeans i was wearing. [laughs]. >> the second time was. >> jimmy: we have video. let's look at that video here. >> we're showing video of the prison where you are right now. what are the conditions like? >> there's concrete cells with overcrowded. hot. dirty, lots of insects, include ig ants and mosquitos. [laughs]. >> basically a hell hole. there's no running water. you have to fight everyday to get buckets of water.>> it's re. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: i think we combined a couple of different things.

>> i think you mixed up some things. >> jimmy: we'll take a quick break. anderson cooper is here with us. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] portions of this show are brought to you by bud light. s a. since the day video games were played from the couch. since before...texting. [ female announcer ] live flake-free with head & shoulders. it starts working from your first wash. with seven benefits, there's no worries from flakes, itch or breakage. i haven't worried about flakes since my grunge days. remember them? trying not to. [ female announcer ] head & shoulders. live flake free. ya', you betcha honey. ya' think so? mm-hmm. [ male announcer ] some mornings, you just can't eat at the table. introducing eggo wafflers, a new kind of waffle packed with flavors like brown sugar cinnamon roll so you don't need syrup. new eggo wafflers.

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[ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: we are back with anderson cooper who is on going to africa to be eaten pretty soon. this is a farewell for you. >> are those gary coleman's shorts? >> those are pants. gary coleman was very short, so his pants looked like shorts to regular sized people. they hang here in memory. they will be here as long as i am here. >> that's great. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're nominated for

three emmys as we mentioned at the daytime emmys this weekend on your new talk show and newer of the two shows. >> that's right. >> jimmy: i always kind of surprised when i tune into your daytime show because i watch you all the time on cnn. >> you're the one, i appreciate it. >> jimmy: you're very good, very, very serious. i want to give a little contrast. on ac 360, justice department scandal. on anderson, steve harvey's relationship secrets. >> national security links on anderson, mom's double life as a dom nay trix. >> jimmy: one more proposed immigration reform would you eat your placenta on anderson. >> did you know some women eat their placenta? i did -- never heard of this. we had some people -- i did this sort of thing back to open rarks we have a surprise for you. check under your seats, everybody, you get placenta and you get it. >> jimmy: did they eat it? >> no.

>> jimmy: it sounds like a bad game show. would you eat your placenta. >> i don't see the appeal. >> jimmy: i don't either. what do they do? >> do you only eat your own placenta. >> jimmy: i think that's can bollism. >> it's one of those things that that's part of you but not part of you. >> yeah, you could say that. like a fingernail. >> jimmy: they somehow grind it up and make it into a powder and put it into a pill. >> jimmy: it's delicious. you recommend it? on the truck down the block tacos. you're nominated for outstanding talk show, which means you're up against what shows? >> the doctors, dr. oz, if you believe they're really doctors. >> jimmy: dr. phil s he in there? >> honestly i don't know who

else is in the category. i don't think i'm going to win. >> jimmy: you're taking it very seriously. you are going to win. i mean, maybe dr. oz might have a shot at winning, but you're anderson cooper. it's like when you go the to emmys and movie star nominated for a it have award, they give it to the tv star. >> it's rare to get nominated your first year. >> jimmy: you better plan a speech, maybe work up the placenta story. when we came up with the concept of would you eat your placenta, i was so proud of my staff. [laughs]. >> jimmy: just think of something before you get there is all i'm saying. i want to show this, not too many people baby's photos hanging in the museum here in las vegas. this is photograph taken by diane of you. diane ar biswas known for really disturbing photographs. critics, photography critics roman death mask. >> jimmy: it looks like our warmup guy, don. [ cheers and applause ]. >> let's get a quick shot of

don. [ cheers and applause ]. >> that's crazy. wow! >> jimmy: when did your hair go white? how old were you when that happened? >> around 21, start with a patch and then it just -- yeah. >> jimmy: did you see a ghost? what happened? >> i don't know what it was. in my mind, i still think i have salt and pepper hair. but. >> jimmy: there's no pepper anymore. >> no. >> jimmy: the white is a good thing, i think. well, it's great to see you. congratulations. good luck at the emmys. i know you don't care. anderson cooper. he airs weekdays. ac 360. we'll be right back with scott caan. [ cheers and applause ]

>> announcer: it's here, two bud light cruise ships are taking thousands of people to the bahamas for a two-day music festival. here we go. is it done? [ john ] no. were you just... no. are you supposed to be driving that in here? no! did mom say we could eat all that? [ john ] yes. [ male announcer ] it's nice to finally say "yes." new oscar mayer selects. it's yes food. [ male announcer ] sun kissed.

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to stream off-air performances and other music videos, go to jimmykimmellive.com. >> dicky: get the new jimmy kimmel live app and see what you've been missing. search jimmy kimmel in the itunes app store or go to jklapps.com to get it now. hey, is the table finished?

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>> jimmy: music from metric. >> jimmy: our next guest is a fine actor you know from many movies and tv shows, and you'd better be nice to him or his dad will come after you with a trash can lid. he plays detective sgt. danny "danno" williams on "hawaii five-0." please say hello to scott caan. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: i was thinking about it, it's kind of weird because you're on vacation now away from hawaii. you work in hawaii and then you leave hawaii for your free time. >> i miss smog and traffic jams. >> jimmy: yeah. good to get back and breathe in the pollution. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what have you been doing with your free time. >> i'm doing a play that i wrote, no way around but through. >> jimmy: very nice. [ applause ]. >> jimmy: you wrote it with yourself in mind or did you cast yourself?

>> i wrote it with myself in mind. >> jimmy: did you direct it as well? >> a guy named val directed it. >> jimmy: maybe you revealed something you didn't want too. i know you're a photographer. not just -- you have a published book of photographs. i was admiring, some terrific photographs in here. seems to be an overall -- seems to be a theme and that theme is a lot of naked and mostly naked girls. i mean, like, almost the whole -- >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: i can't show most of them because they're dirty. i can't show that one. no. trying to find -- kind of though this one, i guess. that looks like it was a fun night. definitely other photos in there. do you pay these models or just dates that went well? >> dates that went well, yeah. >> jimmy: do you meet people, i would love to photograph you?

>> both ways. friends of mine that know that i'm not going to be an animal and they let me take their picture. >> jimmy: your friends know that about you? >> yeah, they do. >> jimmy: they trust you? >> girls that i've been dating. >> jimmy: i got you. i see. that's good. >> you're making me look bad. i shoot other things too, i swear. >> jimmy: there are some other things, but i skipped right past them to be honest with you. there is one of a guy. it appears to be homeless. that's not as much fun as the others. good photograph. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you love taking pictures? >> i do. i like it a lot. i haven't been shooting as much. i have a new book that i'm trying to put out in the next six months. hopefully you can make fun of me again. >> jimmy: this sunday was father's day, your dad is james caan. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: did you do anything for him? >> i took him out to breakfast and stole the couch in his kitchen.

>> jimmy: that's not how it's supposed to go. i'm supposed to buy him a gift. i needed it. he was like, take it. >> jimmy: you took it out of his house. >> i did. >> jimmy: he's sitting on the floor. >> i wanted to see if it looked good. >> jimmy: i got you. you get him gifts or anything like that? is it a traditional -- >> i was supposed to. i got a gift this year. you know, i took the couch. >> jimmy: right. nothing you don't make him jewelry box out of macaroni. >> i wrote him a play about a dysfunctional marriage where the husband shoots the wife and then himself at the end of the play. he liked it a lot. [laughs]. you gave it to him as a gift. it was a play? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's a good gift. >> we performed it. >> jimmy: you and your dad did? >> no, me and the woman. >> jimmy: wow! was there actual shooting and everything? >> there was a fake gun. but, yeah. >> jimmy: your dad seems like

such a tough guy. he is a tough guy. i don't think he's one of those guys that seems like a tough guy on television or on the movies. >> he is a tough guy. i promise. >> jimmy: was there a lot of rough housing with you when you were a kid? >> we used to punch each other in the face as a game. >> jimmy: that is a weird game. what do you call that game? >> face. yeah. he was on second date with this woman he ended up marrying. we were on the bed playing face, i guess i went down to tackle him and he hit me with a upper cut, i came up with blood all over my face and he had it on his hands. we started laughing. we look over and this woman is horrified. she married him. so i guess she fit in. >> jimmy: really. that's hell of an impression to make. that's a fun game, face. do you plan to play that with your children? >> i hope so. >> jimmy: you weren't a child actor, were you?

>> no. i was an athlete. i wanted to play sports. >> jimmy: did you have jobs and stuff when you were a kid? >> i did. i had a job. i worked with these promotors. in the early 90s hip hop was new to hollywood. the first club at sunset bull jard this was whisky ballistics. i would pass out fliers for the club. it was a dance club for young people into hip hop. >> jimmy: did you get paid to do that? >> i got to hang out with all -- everybody i thought i was cool. >> jimmy: at 13 you were hanging out in the clubs. >> jimmy: wow. no wonder your dad had to punch you in the face. and you're enjoying doing hawaii five-0. >> they love at the beginning get me the hell off of this island. you're one of those guys? >> yeah. it's a job. i'm grateful and happy to have a job.

you know, but i would rather be here. >> jimmy: it's one of those things too much relaxation makes you crazy. >> too much beauty drives me nuts. >> jimmy: you need soap in your life. there's a lot of filth in the book and beauty. you got the combination. great to see you and glad things are going to well for you. scott caan, everybody. hawaii five-0 returns in the fall. we'll be right back with music from metric. [ cheers and applause ] the jimmy kimmel live

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>> announcer: the jimmy kimmel concert seriesed sponsor rd by bud light. >> jimmy: this is their new album. it's called "synthetica." here with the song "youth without youth," metric. ♪ ♪ hangman we played rubber soul with a razor blade ♪

♪ behind the church hiding place it was a long joke until the punch line came ♪ ♪ can you read my mind read my mind follow along to the end of the song ♪ ♪ hangman we played double-dutch with a hand grenade ♪ ♪ behind the church hiding place apathetic to the devil's face ♪ ♪ wear the sheriff's badge put your toys away they let us go saying let us pray ♪ ♪ youth without youth youth without youth youth without youth youth without youth ♪

♪ hay hey, hey, hey ♪ hangman we played hide and seek on the fire escape ♪ ♪ through the smoke we saw the flame it was a long wait until the fire truck came ♪ ♪ on the count of three jump with me on the count of three ♪ ♪ one, two one, two, three ♪ go youth without you without youth without youth go, go, go, go ♪

♪ go youth without you without youth without youth go, go, go, go ♪ ♪ hangman we played blind man's bluff with the 9th brigade ♪ ♪ throw the brick through the window pane double-dutch 'til they stop the game ♪ ♪ until the cops show up hand cuff stunned they let us go but we lost one ♪ ♪ hangman we played blind man's bluff until they stopped the game ♪ ♪ youth without youth born without time youth without youth can you read my ♪ ♪ mind youth without youth youth