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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 24, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT

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jimmy kimmel is next. see you tomorrow night. >> dicky: up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live," >> emily maynard and her new fiance, jef. they are here. >> dicky: ben stiller. >> if you want to take the pun out of ping-pong, do a 12-hour
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to inform you that fox's funny the watch opens in theaters friday, july 27th. it stars ben stiller, vince vaughn, jonah hill, richard ayoade, and our very own guillermo. guillermo, tell us a little about the movie. >> guillermo: it's about a watch. jimmy: okay, great. let's take a look at the clip. >> my name is bob w a "b." and i am really into what you are doing here, once a week, away from the wife and kids. telling dirty joke, having beers if we're good. >> yeah, beers, that sounds
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good. >> i'm franklin. >> welcome. >> i wanted to be a member of the glen view police department. guess they didn't see the magic that was me, whatever that means. >> thank you, franklin. >> i heard someone say something about beer, mr. ben stiller. >> what are you about? >> i'm about to go home if i don't get beers. >> that was simple. welcome. >> my name is not jamarcus. my name is guillermo. i live across the street and i'm interested to meet white women. and by meet, i mean have sex. >> okay. >> i'm also interested in that happening to me. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with ben stiller, bachelorette emily and jef, and music from the head and the heart. [ cheers and applause ] i say this and this
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, ben stiller. bachelorette emily and jef. and music from the head and the heart. with cleto and the cletones. and now in person, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, thank you. hello, i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. thanks for visiting us. there's love in the air tonight. we welcome the woman formally known as the bachelorette, emily maynard and her knew fiance,
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jef. jef is here. and the man and emily has perhapsed to spend if not the rest of their lives, at least the summer olympics with. and last night was the finale. emily chose jef and abc mansioned to stretch that decision out to the two hours. i know not everyone has that much time to dedicate to that romance. we boiled it down to the key 30 seconds so you don't have to sit through the whole thing. >> emily is about to take her final steps to find husband. >> husband. >> husband, ricky. >> ricky. >> ricky. >> amazing. >> ricky. >> ricky. >> ricky. >> you know how i feel about ricky. >> ricky. >> ricky. >> ricky. >> ricky. >> ricky. >> husband. >> amazing. >> today i could be meeting
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ricky. >> can i walk you out? >> amazing. >> amazing. >> will you marry me? >> yes. >> hi, ricky. >> there you go. i think ricky found a husband. it was great. jef's proposal last night -- you know, the proposals are -- they always force advertising in them. usually a jewelry company gives them an engagement ring. i don't know if they cut ties with neil lane jewellers but the sponsorship didn't seem to fit as well. >> emily, will you marry me? >> yes. >> yes. >> jimmy: do you understand what i'm saying? now i'm hungry. by the way, i want to say, i
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have -- i have a bone to pick with the host of the bachelorette, chris harrison. i heard last night that something crazy was going to happen in the finale. heard that emily picked arie and then jef came in and proposed and she accepted. which would have been great, if not for jef, but for us. and instead, emily picked jef and jef proposed, the least dramatic rose ceremony. when chris harrison was here. this is what he said. can you confirm -- >> as you said, it will finally, finally be the most dramatic finale ever. after ten years of saying that. >> jimmy: he lied to my face. he lied to all of us. you expect it from a seacrest of
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a probst. jef, by the way, spells his name with one "f." j-e-f. the "f" thing bothered me. what happened to the second "f"? it happened that jef and the "f" broke up and i guess the "f" has a show where it's looking for love. >> jef with one "f" found his true love. and now his jilted "f" is search farg soul mate where 25 men want to win his heart. will bit duf, he have, papa smurf or al? will she fall in love? >> i'm, i'm clif, one "f." what do you say we get the "f"
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out of here? >> anything can happen. >> the letter, tuesdays this summer on ox. >> jimmy: too bad. that's -- that was a joint production between us and sesame street. while the sun sets on another season of the bachelorette, another season of "bar lor pad" is upon us. do you think they even drain the hot tub? this is the third season of the "bachelor pad." if you haven't seen the show, it stars 15 former participants from the "bachelor" and "bachelorette." they try to round up all the most depictible contestants. one of them is kalon. and emily eliminated him on the bachelorette when he referred to
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her 6-year-old daughter as baggage. his sbroer duction tonight will give you. >> i'm back. >> "bachelor pad", i don't know what to expect. it wouldn't be going on it if i didn't want to win. >> jimmy: you with see by his thil that i had wants to win. i hope he does something good with his $250,000. along with the former bachelors and bachelor ets. six former souper fans were invited to live in the mansion. a baseball fantasy camp with herpes. i don't know what it means to be a souper fan of the "bachelor pad." they are famous for being
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nothing. they are fans of people who are famous for being anything. believe it or not there are super fans. one is david and chris is part of an s.w.a.t. team. >> i kick ass and take names but i have a secret. love to watch "bachelor" and "bachelorette." any job can be very stressful and when i unwind after a long day at work, i come home and i watch "the bachelor" and "bachelorette." i want to find the wit woman and settle down. >> jimmy: i don't know -- you appear to be perfectly normal. so natural in front of the camera. that is late of fun. fox made a big announcement today. mariah carey will fill the role
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of unstable female judge on "american idol." they always try to have a crazy woman in the box. they started with paula abdul and steven tyler last year and now mariah carey. they are paying her a salary between $12 million and $17 million. i think she will be good for that. she is american. she has been iodiey idle for th few years. what? right? best of luck to mariah and all of us. this is funny. a reporter in san francisco did one of the things on the news where they find someone who has been wronged by a local business and they bring in a camera crew to set it straight. a woman had a $7 balance on a gift card and she wanted it
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back. >> maria contacted us because the apple store refused to give her the $7 left on her card. we went back with her with the california civil code that states the refund policy. and voila, the clerk handed over the $7. >> viola, may have meant voila. the musical instrument. and bugle horn -- the clerk handed over. nicely done. the nba will start advertising on player uniforms. they are going to put small patches on the jerseys. it will just like nascar but with black people. and some basketball purists are unhappy about this. you know, major league soccer has ads on the jerseys. no one seems to care about major league soccer, right?
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the nba estimates it would make $100 million on ad revenue. the celtics will be the boston market celtics. denver, they will be the chicken mcnuggets. and dallas, the team will be the dallas mavericks starring jodie fos intermel gibson, now available on blu-ray. so viola. there is a dangerous new trend on the internet that of course people are participating in. it's the salt and ice challenge. people put salt on their skin and press on ice cube on it and post video of them doing it on youtube. people are giving themselves frostbite that can cause permanent scarring. people are very, very dumb. tonight, we have asked our
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security guard a man we entrust with her lives, to do something about it. i understand this issue is near and dear to your heart. yes? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you. and you recorded a public service announcement to stop it, yes? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay, have a look. >> hello, friends, it's me, guillermo with a very important message. many of you are playing a very, very dangerous game. >> ow. what is this? >> mixing together salt and ice and putting it on your body, no, no, no. don't do that. because it causes you very, very, very burning. don't make a burn with your ice and salt. make a margarita.
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>> that has been a public service announcement from the offices of guillermo rodriguez, attorney at law. >> i'm drunk. >> jimmy: i think that will help. thank you. this should be fun. you know the game draw something? you play it on your phone or ipad? if you don't know, they give you a word, you draw it, like pictionary. and your friends try to guess. i have spend more time with it than with my children over the months. we have come up with celebrity draw something. here is how it works. our staff here at the show reached tout a celebrity. i do not know which celebrity they reached out to. and asked them to draw a picture of him or herself. tonight, we are going to try to work together to guess who it
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is. i need help, you have been authorized to read clues? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you have the clues with you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: where are they? >> i'm not going to tell you. >> jimmy: this is exciting. let the sketching begin and we will see if we can figure it out. all right, you are watching in real time. okay. i think it's a woman. should be -- one of the guys from nelson been on here recently. it's a woman with a big mouth. and freckles. freckles? the woman is pretty good artist, i have to say. she is short. okay. oh, there's a signature -- it's a dog or something.
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that's a baby? it's a woman with a baby and blond hair. do you think it's britney spears? she doesn't have babies. did she have a baby recently? i think her kids are already in prison, aren't they? guillermo, a clue? >> the celebrity has yellow hair. >> jimmy: anybody -- jessica simpson. that is a good guess. is it jessica simpson? how do you know. >> i gave you so many clues. i don't know who else you could have thought this was. this is me, obviously. and this is the reason for my tears, the sloth. >> jimmy: oh, the cloth. >> and xoxo is a cheat. because your favorite show is
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"gossip girl." she doesn't have freckling. neither does jessica simpson. and that baby was actually a sloth. thank you for the clue, guillermo. very helpful. we have a good show for you tonight. the now-former bachelorette emily maynard and her fiance jef are here. we have music from the head and the heart. and we'll be right back with ben stiller, so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ man ] ever year, sophia and i use the points we earn with our citi thankyou card for a relaxing vacation. ♪ sometimes, we go for a ride in the park. maybe do a little sightseeing. or, get some fresh air. but this summer, we used our thank youpoints
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♪ only you ♪ ♪ only you ♪ ♪ is all i see of you
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program, last night, she found her soul mate the way god
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intended on abc. the bachelorette and her fiance, jef, are here. we are going figure it out. and music from this self-titled album, the head and the heart from the bud light outdoor stage. tomorrow night, we will be joined on the show by jeremy renner and aaron paul. and later this week, jessica biel, adam richman and music from trey songz and rick ross. join us then. our first guest is an exceptionally successful actor, director and writer. whose movies so far have raked in more than $5 billion, not even counting raisinettes. his new comedy, with vince vaughn and jonah hill is called "the watch." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome ben stiller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how are you?
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>> jimmy: how you doing? >> good, good. how are you doing? >> jimmy: good to see you. you look good. >> thank you, you do too. >> jimmy: what have you been up to? >> i have been in iceland. i worked on a movie. with kristen wiig. and people are good looking. the sun never goes down. >> jimmy: is it good that the sun never goes down? >> it is when the people are good looking. >> jimmy: i saw your movie "the watch" and it's really funny. we don't want to give too much away. but it's excellent. >> we had really good time making it. we were in atlanta. >> jimmy: that was not in iceland. >> atlanta is not like iceland. the people are gream and hand some. but it was fun. i had never been there. >> jimmy: you never been to
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atlanta. >> yeah, it was fun. we went out a lot. we went to the a bar one night and they had a ping-pong table. and i guess they have in it over places. >> jimmy: i had never seen a ping-pong table in a bar. >> i hadn't either. and i realized i was in a tournament. it was like a serious -- and i was in a hipster deliverance situation. and they took the ping-pong seriously. and i won the first round and the second round, a guy comes in and i describe him as a 60-year-old chachi. he had jet black hair and sleeves cut off. and he was serious. he had his own leather encased ping-pong paddle. he had balls with initials on them. and. >> jimmy: wow. >> and then he just killed me. he killed me. he was like the rafael nadal of
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ping-pong. that got me crazy. then i wanted to -- yeah, i started -- i got a ping-pong table. >> jimmy: you did? >> we had on the set. which was fun. and i started to take youtube ping upon tutorials. >> jimmy: really? they have them? >> yeah, they do. if you want to take the fun out of ping-pong do a 12-part german tutorial. >> jimmy: you take a laptop and play the screen? >> yeah, and it's very repetitive. >> jimmy: how much of this did you actually watch? >> the tutorials? not much. >> jimmy: not much. >> you watch one over and over, it's very boring. and you have to practice if you want to get good. and i did get good and i set all tournament on the set. i had a weird chip on my shoulder. i was going to show people. nobody care sbid went out in the first round of the tournament i set up. >> jimmy: you did? your own tournament? >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: you should fire whoever beat you. who beat you? >> some grip or something. i put it out of my mind after that. >> jimmy: were you beaten badly or was it close? >> no, the guy was good. some of the guys are ringers. no, it wasn't close. >> jimmy: was it just the crew or did the cast participate? >> some of the cast pass tis pated. ving vaughn was in the movie and jonah hill. >> jimmy:ky see him getting into it. >> yeah, his stunt double was incredible. >> jimmy: did he play for him? >> that is what he needed. >> jimmy: you need an agent stunt double. did you play vince? >> i didn't play vince. vince was on a help kick and he was having people drink health
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drinks in the morning. and he was into p-90x. and it's a video, where you bring it. it's about bringing it. right? you bring it. it works. it's great. my wife did it for a while. and vince does spontaneous exercises on the set between takes. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, it's all about musting confusion. confuse their must sls so they get angry and grow. >> jimmy: so you guys are lined up in front of the television -- >> no, yeah, when you do it at home, you do it in front of the television. >> jimmy: did jonah hill do it? >> yeah, jonah did it to. and there is that insanity workout. it's like p-90x only five times faster. you do it once a day, 30 minutes a day for three days and on the fourth day, you die.
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>> jimmy: this is what you take the methamphetamines and you go crazy. did you find it made a difference in your body? >> yeah, it just makes you tired? you know? >> jimmy: i know "the bachelorette" is a show you enjoy. what do you prefer? >> gentleman, i prefer "the bachelorette." i got into producing a dating show on the web. and it's an homage to the bachelor and bachelorette. >> jimmy: it seems to me you just ripped off the show and are doing your own show. >> is that what it seems like to you. >> jimmy: i think we have a clip. do you need to set it up? >> this is me and i'm with -- >> jimmy: that is what i meant by self-serving. setting yourself up. >> let's check it out.
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>> i think a lot of people watch the show and think, he is lucky. he gets to see all these women, sleep with some of them. oops. no, i'm noft going to get what i want. so i'm going to go for what else is there. >> right. >> like -- annie. she is so nice. >> yeah. >> you know who i like? gigi. >> oh, my gosh. hello. >> hello twice. >> i think mark is going to make it through this. for me, it wasn't about picking the right one. it was about picking one e veshtly. >> i think that is what they are all about, really. >> yeah, that is actually called "burning love" and it's on yahoo!. and it's actually been a bit of a success. >> jimmy: yes, it has. we are going to show a clip of "the watch." we'll be right back. ben stiller when we come back. [ lane ] your anti-wrinkle cream is gone.
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>> sergeant. we have an egger. >> eggs? >> yeah, you coward's weapon. >> good you brought him in. >> and he tried to run away, on a skitter board. >> did you really?
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>> get back to the playground and the monkey bars. >> do you think it's funny? it hurts people's feelings. >> and now, you deal with the consequences. look at his face and listen to me. >> look at he and listen to me. >> look at him and understand no one. >> listen to my words and hear his face. >> jimmy: that is ben stiller, vince vaughn and jonah hill. "the watch" opens friday. i don't know what i can reveal. i will leave that to you. >> i play the manager on of a costco. and one of my employers is murdered and we have a person who did it and we stumble upon an alien presence. >> i happen to love cost co-. you can't reenact -- you go into a real costco. >> yeah, it's incredible. it's like a wonderland.
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we got play with all of stuff in there. most of it was fake. >> jimmy: i did notice. they don't have individual oranges available at costco. >> that is right. we had a contest on the set. there was a writers assistant named ethan and there were jumbo cheese ball jars they have, cheese puffs. >> jimmy: yes. >> he bet he could eat two giant jum bar jars. >> jimmy: how much money was on the table? >> i had about 50 bucks. and he got halfway through and the medic on the set cut it off. >> jimmy: really? ha is no fun. >> i know, he was getting really sick. he wanted the money. >> jimmy: i have done that for free. the premiere is across the street at the chinese theater. >> yeah, i wanted to invite your audience if anyone wants to go.
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do you want to see the movie? >> jimmy: that is a problem for me. because i will have to do the next interview in silence. >> they can go after the show. >> jimmy: after the show? you really want to take the audience? >> yeah, okay? okay, great. it's $12.50 a ticket. and i can't give any senior or student discounts. i'm going to come through with the credit card thing. and i need your zip code too so i can span you. i'm not kidding, whoever want to you go, you can come over. >> jimmy: you are going to take the audience. that is fun. you get to go to the movies with ben stiller. what a date this is going to be. and what will happen afterwards? will you go out for soda? >> we will party all night. at the roosevelt. >> jimmy: ha is going be a terrible mistake. it was great to see you. it was great to see you.
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hopefully a couple of you will hang orlando. we have the bachelorette and her feean they. >> i'm excited. >> jimmy: ben stiller! "the watch" opens in theaters friday. we'll be right back with we'll be right back with emily, and jef. sy day today. are you serious? [siri] yes i'm not allowed to be frivolous. ah ok, move my 4 o'clock today to tomorrow. change my 11am to 2. [siri] ok marty, i scheduled it for today. is that rick? where's rick? [siri] here's rick. oh, no that's not rick. now, how's the traffic headed downtown? [siri] here's the traffic. ah, it's terrible, terrible! driver, driver! cut across, cut across, we'll never make it downtown this way. i like you siri, you're going places. [siri] i'll try to remember that. in applebee's new lemon shrimp fettuccine is here just in time for summer. lemons... [ male announcer ] is this gonna take a really long time? i haven't even... [ male announcer ] here's the part you really care about. the new lemon shrimp fettuccine tastes incredible. it's one of the new fresh flavors of summer, starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. see you tomorrow.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still ahead, music of the head and heart. and i guess you are leave meg to go to the movies. last night on the season finale of "the bachelorette," america watched as our next guest got engaged on tv again. they say the second time's the charm. she is here tonight with her new fiance. please welcome emily maynard and jef with one "f." [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: first of all, congratulations on your one night anniversary as a couple. >> thank you. >> jimmy: very exciting and your engagement. and you make a very nice looking couple. i have to say. you look good together. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look like a pair. how do you feel about this whole thing? you know these relationships almost never work. i mean, it's very, very rare. why will this one work out? let's let jef go first? >> well, i have never been on the show before. and i -- you know, we -- >> jimmy: that was a slam on you. >> no, no slam on her. when we met, there was another person involved. that was ricki and we took a lot of thought and consideration. and we took our time. we thought about it. and it wasn't just like going
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off and helicopter rides and climbing water falls. >> jimmy: you had no fun at all. >> we had took etiquette class and laying in a library. >> jimmy: you can on the go up from there. and no fantasy suite, which was a clever move on your part, jef. what was that, not pressuring for the fantasy suite? >> i fell like we were going to be together. i thought it was me. and afterwards, we are going to be able to spend the rest of our lives in our own fantasy suite. >> jimmy: and have you spent time in the fantasy suite yet? >> absolutely not, we are not married. absolutely not. no, we haven't. >> i'm a lady. >> jimmy: what have you been doing? how long have you been hiding as a couple? >> since may. may 15th or something. >> jimmy: in someone spots you, you are in big trouble.
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>> with renot allowed outside of walls -- >> jimmy: abc will burn your house down if you -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have to be really careful. are you able to work? are you able to go any where? did you do anything? >> not together. >> no, not together. they would send us a couple couple retreats around the country with the fbi following us around. >> jimmy: people would follow you. >> we could have handlers with us. code word for babysitters. >> jimmy: so you have not had until today any real time alone. >> outside of a house no. we had handlers get food for us. >> which is the most perfect time of any relationship. just enjoy it while you can. >> jimmy: it's called house arrest is what it is. >> you have someone going to get your stuff and you can't tell anybody where you are. it's perfect. >> jimmy: it's exciting. your daughter, does she like it? >> yeah, she did.
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she had so much fun. they went fishing, caught frogs. >> jimmy: how do you tell a 7-year-old you have to be quiet about it? >> i changed his name. he was steve. and it was dolly and steve. that was my code name. >> jimmy: you are dean martin? >> no, dolly parton's husband. >> jimmy: what do i know? sorry. geez. >> you are not from the south. >> jimmy: another relationship. you are arie became friends. >> we're buds. yeah. >> jimmy: you don't like that, i can see. >> i love it. >> jimmy: after arie after the proposal, he flew out, i heard, and he asked to you reconsider. >> no, he didn't directly ask. if leaving a journal means
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reconsider -- >> >> jimmy: it does. >> he didn't know we were engaged. >> jimmy: he thought you were together? >> no, he thought she didn't choose anybody. >> jimmy: will he be in the wedding party? >> we clearly have to have discussions. >> jimmy: you would be against that? >> he is a good buddy of mine. >> the first night we walked into the the couch and i looked around the room at all the other guys and i said, arie, it's going to be us, the final two. the final two, me and arie hanging out. >> jimmy: you found two of them on the show. >> j that is weird. no, he is great. >> i get it though. >> so you -- you don't want him standing there in a tuxedo as you are walking down the aisle.
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whancht is >> jimmy: what is arie is just in charge of the bachelor party? >> no, no! i would like his nice brother to be in charge of the bachelor party. >> yeah, i would too. it would be fun. >> jimmy: don't be so confident about the married sweet brother. that's the one you have to watch out for. >> you're right. >> jimmy: do you know when you are going to get married? >> i'm a girly girl. i have been -- looking at dresses and places and our first dance song, everything. >> jimmy: do you know what your first dance song might be? >> no, i have a play list that we are playing through. >> jimmy: is jef going to be involved in any of this? >> yeah, she brings the wedding magazines to the getaways and rips out pages and i just -- i approve. yeah, i love it.
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>> jimmy: you don't want to be involved in the planning of it. >> no, i do plan. say yes to everything. >> that is good. >> jimmy: i have a give for jef. i don't have the a gift for you. >>gy a feeling i know -- >> jimmy: this a special gift. i would like to you take it home. i know you have been missing it for a long time. would like to you have that. please, enjoy that. take that. >> i have no idea where it went. >> jimmy: you can have three if you go back to your original name. emily and jef, everybody. noft the bachelorette anymore. we will right back.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is their self-titled debut album. here with the song "down in the valley," the head and the heart. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i wish i was a slave to an age-old trade ♪ ♪ like riding around on rail cars and working long days ♪
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♪ lord have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways ♪ ♪ lord have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways ♪ ♪ call it one drink too many call it pride of a man ♪ ♪ and it don't make no difference if you sit or you stand ♪ ♪ 'cause they both end in trouble and start with a grin ♪ ♪ 'cause they both end in trouble and start with a grin ♪ ♪ we do it over and over and over again we do it over and over and over again ♪
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♪ oh-oh oh-oh ♪ oh oh oh-oh oh-oh oh oh ♪ i know there's california oklahoma and all of the places i ain't ever been to ♪ ♪ but down in the valley with whiskey rivers these are the places you will find me hidin' ♪ ♪ these are the places i will always go these are the places i will always go ♪ ♪ i am on my way i am on my way i am on my way back
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to where i started ♪ ♪ oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh one more for the stars in the eyes of the walls ♪ ♪ i saw your name and i heard you calling out ♪ ♪ i saw your face in a crowd and you came out ♪ ♪ you got the sign on the door and the stars at night ♪ ♪ that reads to me just like the

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