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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 26, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT

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up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: earthquake here last night. did you feel it? i slept right through it. i did. now who is dumb for living in a bouncy castle? >> lisa kudrow. >> i had to castrate 21 rats. >> you are like bob barker's dream girl. >> rosemarie dewitt. >> what filthy things you have seen? ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy, and this is guillermo, who is just back from panama. last night, you learned and taught us about the real captain morgan. who do you have in store for us tonight? >> more of the same stuff. >> jimmy: all right. well, let's roll the tape. ♪ >> well, guillermo, you learned about the real captain morgamor. before we can go exploring for ship wrecks, stephanie and i are here to make you fall in love with scuba diving. >> fall in love? >> with scuba diving. >> oh. are we diving the thing under the water? >> the thing under the water. >> oh, okay.
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>> stephanie. i think i love you. >> i'm married. ♪ >> thdoes what happens under war stay under water? >> yeah, sure. >> stephanie. let's go under water. now! i love you, man. >> i love you, too, buddy. >> i usually don't go for blonds. >> i don't usually go for mustaches. >> that's why i love you, man. >> dicky: captain morgan. to life, love and loolt. to learn more about the dive and the adventures of the real captain henry morgan, visit facebook.com/captainmorganusa. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with lisa
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kudrow, rosemarie dewitt and music from trey songz. this happy couple used capital one venture miles for their "destination wedding." double miles you can "actually" use. but with those single mile travel cards... [ bridesmaid ] blacked out... but i'm a bridesmaid. oh! "x" marks the spot she'll never sit. but i bought a dress! a toast... ...to the capital one venture card. fly any airline, any flight, anytime. double miles you can actually use. what a coincidence? what's in your wallet? [ all screaming ]
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watch the elbows ladies. dididid you get the file? no tina? no still waiting in pittsburgh. thank you pittsburgh. terry? noo are you sure? yes. i got it. way to go jim! what is going on in there? beats me.here's that file. got it. righteous. share files instantly, only on the galaxy s3. available at sprint. you'll inevitably find yourself on a desolate highway in your jeep grand cherokee. and when you do, you'll be grateful for the adaptive cruise control that automatically adjusts your speed when approaching slower traffic. and for the blind spot monitoring that helps remind you that the highway might not be as desolate... ...as you thought. ♪
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- lisa kudrow. rosemarie dewitt. and music from trey songz. with cleto and the cletones. and now, once again, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. well thank you. thank you, cleto. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming and sitting like civilized people. that does not go unnoticed. glad to see everyone made it through the earthquake. we had a little earthquake here last night. did you feel it?
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i slept right through it. i did. now who's dumb for living in a bouncy castle? [ laughter ] it was centered in marina del rey, which isn't far from here. 3.7 on the richter scale. like a tenth of a kurt russell movie earthquake. it's not too bad. [ laughter ] happen md at 3:15 in the morning. my girlfriend woke up right away and googled earthquake in l.a. but nothing had been posted yet so -- then she went to twitter and saw that josh gro groban confirmed that he felt it, too. that is how we exchange information. sometimes in l.a., you don't know if it was and earthquake or if lindsay lohan crashed her car into your house. that's when we turn to groban for the news. you know how they say animals can sense when an earthquake is coming, how come they never tell us? some barking would be nice. what is the point of keeping that information to yourself? and then they wonder why we eat them. [ laughter ] the other big news here in l.a. is that our city council voted
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to ban medical marijuana dispensaries. so, good luck finishing that reggae album, snoop dogg. very bad news for pot smokers, as well as the makers of fun-yuns. we have a lot of marijuana stores here. 762 marijuana stores, to be exact. about 800 cupcake shops that rely on them for their business. our mayor is expected to support the ban, which would go into effect in 30 days, which means that the dozens of people who rely on medical marijuana to help them with illness and the millions of people who pretend to have illness so that they -- rely on it to watch reruns of "chips" in the middle of the night won't be able to buy it legally. you have to go back to the old fashioned way, asking your weird cousin for pot, but -- medical marijuana advocates are obviously upset about this. they made it known at the city council meeting yesterday, where the vote was taking place. one guy, gentleman named john
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walsh, i thought, made excellent points in this speech. >> now, i see people out here that need medical marijuana. now, i tried it once, didn't like it and never did it again. that's the same reason i don't have any children. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: might be a few reasons why -- the hair cut, for one. surprisingly the city council just ignored that guy. and that's the outfit he picked out today without smoking pot. he is not a smoker. there's some strange stipulations to this supposed ban. first of all, they might allow 170 of the shops to stay open, which would mean we would only have 170 pot shops. people are furious. and also, patients will be allowed to grow pot at home and share it up with to three friends. which -- what? [ laughter ] how are people who are high supposed to understand this?
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the problem with growing pot at home is, you have to buy specialized equipment, which is potentially cost prohibitive. unless, of course, you have one of these. >> there's a new pet that makes you feel great. chia pot. the pottery that grows marijuana. it's fun and easy. soak your chia. spread your seed. keep it watered. watch it grow and smoke it. >> whoa! >> and now, you can grow a collectionle of fun with chia pot teddy bears, puppies, rams, bulls. it even works as a water pipe. order two chia pots and get a companion cheeto pot. to order now, call 1-800-720-06 -- no, 7 -- uh -- >> available at wall greenegree.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: probably nobody will remember to water it. there you have it. hey, some bad news for greenland and potentially all of us. according to nasa, the ice covering greenland is melting, which is alarming because it could be a sign that global warming is happening much faster than anticipated. and also, because i had no idea greenland was a real place. apparently it totally is. normally, during the summer, about half of what they call the ice sheet melts away in greenland. this summer, the amount of ice went from 60% to 3% in only four days. which i don't note -- it can't be a coincidence that this happened on exactly the same weekend they released "magic mike" over there, can it? [ laughter ] i mean, wow. if you are going to the beach this summer, here is something to look out for. shark silgtings are up this year in the united states, primarily in the states that border an ocean. [ laughter ] still no trouble in, like, north dakota, none, nothing. shark-wise. nobody knows for sure why, but
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some scientists are blaming seals. they say they are migrating closer to shore, which is forcing the sharks to come in closer because they eat seals. instead, they are eating people, which is bad news for us because we are people, but -- rest assured we are not taking this lying down. we are fighting back, the best way we possibly can. >> hey, seals. you're cute. you're cuddly. you swim right up to us. you are so friendly. but we know what's going on. you're trying to get the sharks to eat us instead of you. nice try, jerks. do yourself a favor. get the [ bleep ] away from us or we'll make you into boots. paid for by get the [ bleep ] away from us or we'll make you into boots. and heidi klum. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is pretty -- this is great. this is a video of a walrus
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named e.t. e.t. lives at the tacoma zoo. i don't think i've seen a walrus do anything other than roll around. but this walrus almost knows how to talk. [ grouwling ] >> bubble. whistle. >> welcome to hollywood! [ applause ] >> jimmy: kind of makes me miss ruben studdard. actress kristen stewart is in a weird story. she was caught cheating on her boyfriend robert pattinson. i call them k-stew and r-pat.
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saves me time. "us weekly" got photos of her kissing the director of her movie "snow white and the huntsman." aren't you supposed to sleep with the director before the part? i would ignore this, but today kristen and rupert issued public apologies. kristen said this has yep sized the most important thing in my life, the person i love and respect the most, rob. is it -- this woman had a werewolf and a vampire fighting over her, she goes for a guy named rupert. so, she is sharpied out of my cast poster. this is scary. two uranium enrichment plants in iran were hit by computer hackers. they shut down the computers in the plant and made the computers blast an ac/dc song at top volume. scientists are there -- just a fun prank against some good-natured folks.
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no major damage has been done. even worse, the dreaded miley cyrus virus, which is -- iran is taking the attack seriously. this morning, president mahmoud a-members only-jacket, condemned it in a televised address to his people. >> to those responsible for the cowardly attack on our nuclear facility, these are dirty deeds done dirt cheap. dirty deeps done dirt cheap. dir dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap. >> jimmy: nice to see they made a fan out of him. [ cheers and applause ] mitt romney is traveling abroad. mitt romney today left for a trip to meet with leaders in other countries and to visit his money. he missed it.
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i'm not exactly sure why romney is doing this. is it possible that he's looking for a country that he can buy if becoming president doesn't work out here? maybe -- i don't know. romney will be in london on friday for the opening ceremony at the summer olympics. there was a big blunder at the olympics today. the north korean women's soccer team refused to take the field because they showed pictures of the team on the jumbotron and they inserted a south korean flag, north korea and south korea heat each other. they but they didn't spoil the mood in north korea. love is in the air. their new leader got married. that is the happy couple. he swept her off her feet, literally. his guards broke into her house and carried her away. no official announcement was made but a news report on the state-run television reported that he visited an amusement park with his wife and then everyone was like, oh, i guess he has a wife now. and she's the wife. that's too bad. i was hoping he would be the next bachelor.
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north korean women's soccer team beat columbia today 2-0. so, they will not be executed yet. [ laughter ] oh, no, i'm safing is they kill them over there if they don't succeed. the olympics have kind of startled already, though the opening ceremony isn't until friday. they played the first round of women's soccer. the u.s. women's team beat france, 4-2. [ applause ] i tell you what, i haven't -- is it -- i'm not sure if you like soccer or you just like beating france or what it is. but i'll tell you this, i haven't seen so many women fighting over one ball since lance armstrong. [ applause ] and while the win against france was thrilling indeed, it did not compare to the opening game between great britain and new zealand. great britain won it, 1-0, thanks to great moments like this. it's time for our "women's soccer play of the day."
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: you notice, no one was in the stands behind the goal. i thought they said soccer was popular in europe. i'm starting to doubt that. you know, apparently there are two olympic mascots this time around. that is them. they are supposed to be two drops of steel, which makes no sense anyway. but they -- they -- i don't know what they look like. if i saw one of these mascots, i would have no idea it had anything to do with the olympics. but that is the olympic mascot. i don't get it. maybe other people -- we did a survey today. we sent a camera out onto hollywood boulevard. we got a nice mix of people out there and tonight, we asked folks out on the street if they could guess what this creature is supposed to be. and the results will not surprise you.
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>> what is this? >> do you want me to say it? >> are we allowed to say it? it's a penis. penis with a helmet. >> what is this? >> that's a penis. >> that is definitely a penis. >> a giant smiling penis? >> are you sure? you want me to say that? that looks like a happy penis. >> giant penis. [ laughter ] >> all right, looks like a pee-pee. >> that looks like a penis. >> a penis with a hall melt? >> that's a penis. with a face on it. >> that's a penis, dude. what's up, man? >> that's the new mascot for the olympics? >> jimmy: all right, we got a winner. [ applause ] what are you going to say? that's what it looks like. we have a good show for you tonight. rosemarie dewitt is here. we have music from trey songz.
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and we'll be right back with lisa kudrow, so stick around. [ grunting ] [ bresha ] you know? you could increase your punching power if you opened your stance a bit. because if you win gold, i could win prizes. so chop, chop, marlen. let me know when you're ready to start. there you go, sting like a gnat. [ male announcer ] keep an eye on your us athletes when you enjoy select favorites under 400 calories at mcdonald's. when they wigold, you could win prizes. remember, the ukranians are doing this in the snow. [ male announcer ] the simple joy of winning. remember, the ukranians are doing this in the snow. chase freedom is offering 5% cash back at gas stations this quarter. wow, thanks! beep. beep.
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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight on the program, starting this friday, you can see her alongside ben stiller, vince vaughn and jonah hill in the new movie "the watch," rosemarie dewitt is with us. and then, with music from this album, it comes out august 21st. it's called "chapter five," trey songz from the bud light outdoor stage. be sure to join us next week. adam richman from the travel
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channel and we'll have music from rick ross. for ten seasons of television, our first guest was there for you week after week as phoebe on "friends." she's been nominated for season two of her show "web therapy." it airs on tv mondays at 11:00 on showtime. please say hello to lisa kudrow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? did you feel the earthquake last night? >> yeah, yeah. woke me up. >> jimmy: see, i didn't. i slept right through it, like a lump. >> lucky. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess so. >> i thought it was pretty strong, though. >> jimmy: you know what to do in case of an earthquake? >> stay in bed. >> jimmy: is that what they say? >> well, i heard someone say that once. >> jimmy: stay in bed? >> you know, someone substantial. >> jimmy: someone lazy? is that right? they said stay in bed? >> they said, the safest place
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might be your bed. it's soft. >> jimmy: it might not. >> if it's big enough. >> jimmy: congratulations. not only -- two shows nominated. >> right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "web therapy" and "who do you think you are?" that's great. do you get two seats for the emmys? >> yeah, we get a lot. i'm just making that up. i don't know. >> jimmy: almost no excuse for not bringing your entire family to the show with you. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: what was the first award show you were dnominated for that you remember going to? >> "friends." >> jimmy: the show itself? i figured it was "friends." >> oh, you mean which episode? >> jimmy: no -- >> who was hosting, emmys, golden globes? >> oh, i don't know. it could have been the comedy awards, too. >> jimmy: was that even around back then? >> maybe not. [ laughter ] i don't know anything. >> jimmy: you don't remember? >> no, but i remember the -- well, they were all pretty exciting, the first two hours. >> jimmy: the first two hours.
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the next three is where things tail off? >> well, yes. you know, after they announce your category and you lose and then you realize, well, i'm just sitting in a chair for a long time. [ laughter ] and then you think, oh, no, i forgot, i'm really appreciative. really, really appreciative. >> jimmy: you kind of have to hang out because your show is nominated and that goes at the end but the disappointment lingers throughout. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you did win, so, it makes up for all of us. >> yeah, we won. and i won one, it was good and -- the golden globes are fun. because it's like a cocktail party. >> jimmy: right. >> it's fun because it's the first time you see film people and you are on tv and so -- oh, my god, kathy bates is talking to us. oh, she's never seen the show. why is she talking to us? >> jimmy: was that the case? >> yeah. i think she had never seen the show. you guys are fun! and we were at the bar. and then we were thrilled because susan sarandon walked over to our table, like,
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whichever way she was headed, she changed directions and came to our table. we were all dying and she said, listen, i mean i know you have a show, you guys, my kids watch it. i don't watch tv, i've never seen it. but -- >> jimmy: kind of a compliment? >> well -- and then you're like, well, of course, you're susan saran doe. why would you -- >> jimmy: you wouldn't soil yourself with television. >> why would you? >> jimmy: did you get that a lot? sometimes you wonder why people bring it up in the first place. why -- they are actors. they can lie better than anyone in the world. [ laughter ] >> they can. >> jimmy: you would think. >> right. and i think they're honest folk. >> jimmy: it is better when they sail your kids watch when they say, like, my grandparents watch or something. >> right. i've gotten that, too. i've gotten that for "who do you think you are?" hey, that's great. you know, my grandparents love that show. that's great! >> jimmy: maltt willeblanc was .
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he said there was helicopters on the news and each helicopter had a camera pointed at each of the cast members houses. he thought, okay, this must be a big deal. what was your moment like that when you realized what it was? >> i mean, i guess, the big deal was jim burrows got the -- you know, directed the first ten and he's -- >> jimmy: a legendary tv producer and director. >> right. and he got, before the show even aired, he got the studio to give us a private jet and took us to ha las vegas. he said, you all have to pay attention to this moment. because, in this moment, it's the only time that the six of you can be out together and be anonymous. and -- >> jimmy: wow. he was right, i guess, huh? >> it turns out. but everyone else was like -- my god. and i thought, well, maybe. how do you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a healthier way
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of looking at it. >> and a fun personality to go along with it. >> jimmy: what are you doing over the summer? working in. >> um -- well, yeah, i'm getting -- we're still delivers "web therapy" to showtime. we do it ourselves. it's in our office, there's no, like, i feel like -- there are no professionals in charge. >> jimmy: well, profession al a professionals get. how old is your son? >> he's 14. >> jimmy: is he answering around the house watching you work or -- >> yeah, that's fun for him. no, he's going to, like, film school. new york film academy has a program out here and he's in film school and making films this summer. >> jimmy: oh, that's fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're complaining about doing that, he's doing it for fun right now. >> i'm not complaining. >> jimmy: i think we have one of the films your son has been working on here, is this -- oh,
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yeah, there it is. >> that's right. [ growling ] >> jimmy: he's an excellent director. >> he is. >> jimmy: he wants to be in show business, i assume -- >> he might. he might. >> jimmy: did you know at his age that this was something that you wanted to do? >> at 14, yeah, i was interested. i was writing sketches and performing and thought it was hilarious. in high school, i thought, well, that's no way to live a life. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. and i decided i was going to be pr pre-med when i got to college. >> jimmy: and did you do that? >> yeah, i was a biology major. >> jimmy: did you learn anything -- could you help somebody if there was an issue, like, let's say i were to seize up or something here on the show, do you remember any of that biology tough? >> well -- i mean -- [ laughter ] my father and brother are doctors, i know a little bit. >> jimmy: we call them?
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>> mostly i was doing stuff to rats. so -- >> jimmy: like what? >> well, i mean, i did have one really fascinating project, i have to say, where i -- well, i'm -- won't tell you the whole thing though it's fascinating, but -- [ laughter ] i had to, like, castrate 21 rats. >> jimmy: what? >> i had to. >> jimmy: 21? >> 21. >> jimmy: ceremony of some kind? >> three groups of seven, you know. >> jimmy: how do you castrate a rat? >> it's a surgical procedure that i learned. and i got -- i got really good at it, i mean, i could do it in like five minutes. i felt really safe walking back to my, you know, where i live on campus. >> jimmy: you're like bob barker's dream girl. this is incredible. we're going to take a break. we're going to talk about "web therapy." more with lisa kudrow when we come back. we'll be right back. ♪
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>> jimmy: hi there, we are back with lisa kudrow. we were talking about your show "web therapy" which started at a web show and it was a short thing you do with celebrities and you would interview them and kind of an improvised comedy deal and then you got picked up by showtime. >> right, right. jb >> jimmy: it's a full, real
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show. and you have unbelievable guests on the show. >> yeah. meryl streep is really unbelievable. >> jimmy: doesn't get any better than that. how do you get her to do your show? >> well, you know, i ran into her at a vasser thing and she said, oh, i like that "web therapy" show you do. i was like, what? you do? you've seen it? yeah, how does it work, what do you do? i told her, she said, it sounds fun. and anyone who says, it sounds fun. i say, great, you want to do it? and she said, i'd love to you. i was like, understand i'm really going to get in touch with you and really try to schedule it? she said, great, i hope you do. and she did it. she did it. >> jimmy: wow. >> she came up with a character and she showed up and she was unbelieve bly good. >> jimmy: we have a clip from that episode. what do people need to know? you have not interviewing meryl streep, it's a character she's playing. >> she's playing a gay conversion therapist. because fiona's husband, kip, who is running for congress,
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has, you know, encounters with men. but he's, you know, so, his backers require he get straightened out before the campaign can commence. >> jimmy: she's the person to do the job. >> right. >> jimmy: here it is. it's called "web therapy," mondays at 11:00 on showtime. >> we put him in a private room and we let him do whatever he wants. of course, he's hooked up to electrodes and we present different stimuli. and we have given him his choice of pictures and images to look at and he'd rather look at a picture of david hasselhoff while receiving a massive dose of the voltage that we're currently allowed to administer under the law. >> uh-huh. >> he'd rather look at that than a picture of you.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: that's very funny. who do you have coming up this season on the show? >> mini driver. she's so funny. and victor garber playing fiona's husband. i think -- >> jimmy: you created your own show out of nothing on the internet. >> basically nothing. >> jimmy: congratulations and good luck at the emmy awards. lisa kudrow, everybody. "web therapy," monday at 11:00 on showtime. we'll be right back with rosemarie dewitt. [ female announcer ] over the last ten years, your mouth has sipped, snacked, ...yellowed... giggled, snuggled, ...yellowed... chatted, chewed, ...yellowed. and over all those years, your teeth...have yellowed. fact is, if you're not whitening, you're yellowing. crest 3d white whitestrips remove over ten years of stains by going below the enamel surface.
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>> jimmy: hi there.
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still to come, trey songz will be with us. you know our next guest from "mad men," "united states of terror" and "rachel getting married." now you can see her in the new comedy "the watch." >> grab my jacket. >> oh, thank goodness. it's the leader of the neighborhood watch. >> abby -- >> i'm forming a little club, too. and it's only got one opening -- >> oh my god! >> go out, go out. get out. >> is that -- >> nice to meet you. >> get out! >> i'm a dear friend of evan -- >> she doesn't care. >> jimmy: "the watch" opens on friday. please welcome rosemarie dewitt. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you feel the earthquake last night? >> i didn't. i slept through it. >> jimmy: there you go. did your husband wake up?
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>> i don't know. he's in chicago. >> jimmy: for those that don't know, your husband is ron livingston. one of my favorites, actor-wise. >> one of my favorites, too. >> jimmy: "swingers" he was in. >> "adaptation." >> jimmy: working in chicago right now? >> yeah. >> jimmy: having a good summer so far? >> yeah, i've been away from home a lot. so, i'm trying to stay in town because if i'm gone too long, ron gets a little weird. >> jimmy: in what way? >> you know, he'll start sleeping really late, eating potato chips for dinner, you know. he reverts back to his bachelor days, which can be a little suspect. [ laughter ] i'll give you an example from when we were dating. >> jimmy: good. >> you know, he's out with his little brother, you want to come meet us for food. i'm like, it's late. but i'm come over in the morning and take you out to brunch. i come over the next day, 1:00 p.m. i go up in his bedroom and he hasn't slept in his bed. i'm like, huh.
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must have fell asleep on the couch. couch has not been slept in. i'm like -- he didn't come home last night. now my heart is racing. bad thoughts going through my head. i hear a noise in his office. i spoke my head in. he turns around from the computer, like, caught. wearing his clothes from the night before. and i'm like, hey. >> he's like, hey. i'm like, did you just get home? he's like, no. i'm like, you didn't. what time did you get in? i don't know, around 1:00 a.m. really, you've been sitting there for 12 hours? now, this is the part where he likes to say he wishes he was sitting with a stripper and an eight-ball. he thinks it would be better than what was really going on. and then, the scene starts coming into focus. i see the cost-co size of cheese doodles. i'm like, you're trying to tell me you've been sitting there for he's like, yeah, and i did get to level 45 on "world of
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warcraft." i'm like, oh, my god! so -- [ applause ] like -- i guess that's impressive. >> jimmy: yeah. i guess. >> not to your future wife. that just makes you really nervous. >> jimmy: to your nephew, super impressive. maybe to your 8-year-old son. very, very impressive. not your fiance, by any means. >> i need to stay close. >> jimmy: when you are there, do you prevent him from doing that? >> yeah, the child thing on the computer. no, i'm kidding. yeah, no, no, we just spend a lot of time together, you know. he -- he jokingly tells people, because everyone knows i'm not very domestic and they're like, what are you going to do for food, how are you going to live with ro? and i hear ron say, i give it three to five years and she'll be cooking. we're coming up on three years, i've been really trying this summer to cook. and it's like -- hospital food. >> jimmy: what sort of things have you been trying to cook? >> all sorts of things. but i look at the recipe, i'm
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like, god, that's a lot of butter. really, that much garlic? and i just leave it out and things come out terrible. i made him veggie curry, it was like my best hit so far. and then ron's eating it, he's like -- and he found a hair in it. and i was like -- oh, no. and so, i apologized. and then i came home the next day from running an errand and he had put a b in the window, like, the health code, you know? [ laughter ] like in a restaurant? and i was like -- and i was like, ron, i worked in restaurants, you have to do a lot more than that to get a b. if you think a hair -- >> jimmy: what filthy things you have seen in restaurants that you've worked? >> that sounds so sexual. >> jimmy: yeah, it does. >> well, i worked -- i waited tables, i remember being in the walk-in once and one of the bartenders, your boots get
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relldy dirty behind the bar, just stepped in a bucket of mare their are, looked at me, was like, don't tell anybody. i was like, okay. >> jimmy: there was a bucket of mair -- i'm back on that now. ca calm down, you animals. they are very upset about the pot thing. >> red souse. >> jimmy: did you eat there again? >> once you work at a restaurant, you know you're never going to eat there. there was a restaurant in new york city that i love and i had seen mice in the dining room -- >> jimmy: you did not. >> i still kept eating there until i saw, like, a hmutant mouse. it was missing an arm and it looked like lisa kudrow castrated it or something. it was like -- like something was wrong. then, when the mice weren't healthy, then -- >> jimmy: what's what you look
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for? find a very healthy mouse, then you know you're eating in a good restaurant? >> yeah. they say, i think i read it recently, that in new york, you are never more than two feet away from a mouse or a rat? >> jimmy: i think of that constantly when i'm in new york. when -- because people put the garbage out on the street and i'm constant it will surveying for rats. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: because i hate -- i hate rats. >> yeah. i had an ex-boyfriend who had that problem. when you have that much of a phobia, they find you, everywhere you go. you do walking through washington square park and he'd slip and, like, don't look back, baby. and he would have stepped in, like, a dead -- you know what i mean? one time he was directing me in a play and i looked out in the audience, i was like -- what was that? i said, i think there's a rabbit in the theater. he jumped up on the seat. >> jimmy: a rabbit? >> i knew he would be scared. he would direct from this chair and one night we're doing the show and all the lights are off. in the middle of the scene, the
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lights just go down, they come back up before i'm sitting in my chair. i hit my head, everything was crazy. and i go back up and i was like, what's happening? everything, what were you, are you smoking, what's going on here? >> jimmy: mare their are sauce? >> exactly. and so he said, what happened was, he was running the light booth, and the rat -- we called it the rat -- >> jimmy: the famous rat. >> the one rat in new york city comes into the light booth. he had to shine the light on it and he had to guess, like, with all the other cues. >> jimmy: he was doing an interrogation or something? >> because new york city rats are like really ballsy. they don't back down. they just stay on you, like, it's you or me. >> jimmy: yeah. that would -- i would have got right out of there. the show would not have gone on. >> you would have bolted. >> jimmy: the movu movie is ver funny. all-star comedy cast there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i imagine it was fun.
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and even if it wasn't, you wouldn't -- >> i would lie. no, it was fun, i mean, you appreciate, like, jonah, that clip that you just showed, everything gets improvised and once he saw me in that outfit, he just kept trying to kiss me. >> jimmy: i noticed that. >> he was like, hey, baby. >> jimmy: constantly trying to kiss you. >> it was fun. >> jimmy: did he do it more than we actually wind up seeing in the movie? >> yeah, i don't know -- there's other places. >> jimmy: i get you. >> and he caught me a couple of times, you know what i mean? he kissed me. >> jimmy: you he got you. >> that jonah hill. >> jimmy: very funny. congratulations. tell ron i said hello. rosemarie dewitt, everyone. "the watch" opens friday. we'll be right back with trey songz.
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>> jimmy: his new album comes out august 21st. it is called "chapter 5." here with the song "heart attack," tr attack," trey songz.
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>> what's up? ♪ oh ♪ oh ♪ we share something so common ♪ still so rare ♪ uncommon all never been here before so high ♪ ♪ we're still climbing even here inside these walls breaking each other's hearts and we don't care ♪ ♪ cause we're so in too deep can't think about giving it up but i never knew ♪ ♪ love would feel like a heart attack it's killing me swear i never ♪ ♪ cried so much cause i never knew
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love would hurt bad ♪ ♪ oh ♪ never never never never knew love ♪ ♪ oh ♪ the worst pain that i ever had outta times when i know i should be smiling seems to be the time ♪ ♪ that i frown the most can't believe that we still suffering cause i'm slowly ♪ ♪ breaking down even when i hold you close and if i lose you i'm afraid i would lose ♪ ♪ who i gave my love to that's the reason i stay around even though i fell way ♪
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♪ in too deep can't think about giving it up but i never knew ♪ ♪ love would feel like a heart attack it's killing me swear i never ♪ ♪ cried so much cause i never knew love would hurt this bad ♪ ♪ the worst pain that i ever had ♪ ♪ oh never never never knew love would hurt ♪ ♪ oh ♪ worst pain that i ever had ♪ and it hurts ♪ cause i wanna leave and you wanna leave but the love keeps us together ♪ ♪ and if i lose you i'm afraid i would lose who i gave my love to that's the reason ♪ ♪ i stay around

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