tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 3, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT
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we're always online. jimmy kimmel is up next and we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: tonight on jimmy kimmel live -- >> elf dental there's a lot of interest in seeing octomom take her clothes off. because she's a clebl, but also because if a baby comes out during the dance, you get to keep it. >> have you decided? >> i'm thinking about lightning bolts on my inner thigh. >> dicky: >> and joel kina man and music from serj tankian. >> we live
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news from applebee's home of the fresh flavors and menu with choices like seasonal bery and lemon shrimp fettucine it's a great spot for lunch or dinner. let's go to guillermo. guillermo? >> okay, let's take a look at the weather forecast to check on what the weather's going to be, okay? let me show you. in california, it's very, very hot. in texas, it's also very hot
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too. and michigan, it's very, very hot too. but here comes the good news, if you go to apple bees, the forecast tomorrow is fresh with a hundred percent chance of ous. oh, look, here it comes now. mmmm. and that's what's going on here next. >> dicky: the new fresh flavors of summer, with choices like spinach salad starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. jimmy kimmel live back in two minutes with wanda sykes, joel kina man, and music from serj tankian. [ male announcer ] here's the part you really care about. aven't even... the new lemon shrimp fettuccine tastes incredible.
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it's one of the new fresh flavors of summer, starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. see you tomorrow. my name is sunshine and i have three beautiful girls. i like taking advil® for a headache. it nips it in the bud. and i can be that mommy that i want to be. ♪ [ male announcer ] take action. take advil®. of his entire championships. great rhythm. excellent form. super difficulty. watch this right here. it's a full twist in here. very difficult. [ crowd gasps ] wow, that is big. big, big, big. [ male announcer ] nailed it. "paranorman," from the makers of "coraline." in theaters august 17th. rated pg. [ female announcer ] weak, damaged hair needs new aveeno nourish+ strengthen. active naturals wheat formulas restore strength for up to 90% less breakage in three washes.
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for strong, healthy hair with life, new aveeno nourish+ strengthen. is that your phone bill? sure is. let's see if we can go inside and save you some money on your plan. you ready? sounds great! can you tell them about straight talk? sure. with straight talk at walmart you get unlimited talk, text and data for only $45 a month. but do i get the same coverage? oh yeah. it's on america's best networks. sounds great to me. well we saved you a lot of money, and your girls like their new smart phones. i sent you a friend request. [ both ] we know. [ earl ] save money with straight talk wireless. unlimited talk, text and data for only $45 a month. only at walmart. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- wanda sykes.
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joel kinnaman. and music from serj tankian. with cleto and the cletones. and now, places, everybody! here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everybody. thanks. thank you. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching at home. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] my point is, welcome to hollywood. that's very nice. welcome to all of you who are visiting from around the world. i'm glad we can be together on world population day. world population day is today. it was started by the united nations in 1989 to raise awareness of the problems caused by overpopulation, which i, personally, think has a lot to do with people having sex. if everybody would just stop it,
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we'd be fine, but -- the world population is as big as it's ever been. there are now seven billion people on the planet. so, when your mom tells you, you are special, it's not really true. [ laughter ] and they say the world population could double over the next 40 years. this is what happens when you get people wet and feed them after midnight. you can't do that. [ laughter ] united nations does have a plan to fix this. starting in 2014, they're going to select one teenager from each continent to fight to the death. winner stays here, losers go to the moon or something. [ laughter ] this is pretty funny. not only is it world population day, i swear this is true, it also happens to be the octomom's birthday. [ laughter ] which, to me, proves that god is a pretty funny dude, you know? [ laughter ] nadya suleman turned 37 today. each of her kids made her a macaroni necklace. i gave -- i sent her the one gift she really wanted for her
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birthday, a jug full of birth control and a time machine. [ laughter ] you know she's pregnant again, right? i hope she's not. i don't know. i haven't checked her uterus. as you may have heard, she was supposed to perform at a strip club in west palm beach, florida, but one of the bartenders there said something on the news that upset her, so she cancelled the appearance and got a new gig stripping at a place in hollywood, florida. but the first strip club is suing to prevent that from happening. the lounge says they have exclusive rights to the octomom's dance debut. i don't get, why are people fighting over -- is there a stripper shortage we don't know about? [ laughter ] evidently, there's a lot of interest in seeing the octomom take her clothes off. in part, because she's a celebrity, but also because, if a baby comes out during the dance, you get to keep it. [ laughter ] but if it gets tied up in court, she might not get to strip at all, and if you want to throw up in a gentleman's club, you are going to have to do it the
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old-fashioned way, by eating at the buffet. there is a non-sex related ray of hope for octomom, though. and that is, she's just recorded her first single. on which she raps, which is always a good idea. [ laughter ] is there anything this woman can do? [ laughter ] we got our hands on a sneak preview of the song, and while i will admit i did not have high expectations, the song, itself, is catchy and her rapping is pretty good. [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> that's a crazy laugh. that's a crazy laugh. [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think we have a new summer jam. [ cheers and applause ] we were up all night working on that. the major league baseball all-star game was played last
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night. for those of you not familiar with the sport, baseball was our national pastime before it was replaced by the kardashians. but they still play the game. melky cabrera was the mvp. he's from the dominican republic. his english isn't great. that did not stop the reporter from asking him a series of untranslated questions. >> tell everybody, who do we have here with you, by the way. who are these lovely ladies? >> i thank my fans, my family, the opportunity to be here. i like it here and, so, try for mvp, so, thank you, the fans. >> who is this? we have mom here -- >> thank you. >> thank you. >> i thank you. i mom, my grandma, my family here and -- i just proud for me mvp. thank you, everybody, the fans. >> do you have a message for the fans of san francisco who seem to enjoy this?
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>> yeah, the fans, the city and san francisco, everybody, thank you. the fans. >> jimmy: melky, what are your thoughts on -- [ applause ] by all means, keep asking questions. thank the fans. some bad news today for the news. a new survey from gallup shows that america's confidence in tv news is at an all-time low. i don't get it. which tmz reporter don't they have confidence in? [ laughter ] the guy with the blond hair? only 21% of those polled said they had a good amount of confidence in tv news, which is down from 46% when they first did the survey in 1993. it is interesting. our confidence in news is at an all-time low and yet our confidence in the bachelorette finding love remains as steady as ever. [ laughter ] we live in a very confusing time. [ applause ] but tv news -- don't get excited. not going to work for this one,
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either, i'll tell you. [ laughter ] i have a sixth, seventh and eighth sense about this. tv news has changed a lot since 1993. back then, we had peter jennings, tom brokaw. now, we have mario lopez and billy bush. gallup said our level of confidence could sink lower because of incidences. cable news channels incorrectly reported the supreme court's health care ruling. cnn, in particular, has been taking most of the flack for that, though fox news made the same mistake. but not only isn't cnn backing down after that embarrassing slip, it seems to be they are doubling down on this. >> in these fast-paced times, you need the facts fast. >> the supreme court justice has struck down the individual mandate. >> not necessarily the right facts. >> facebook and google combine to make goo-face. >> cnn is there first. giant robot centipedes attack
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new york. or that might be just a cloud. sure other news that work is also wrong. >> the individual mandate has been ruled unconstitutional. >> but only cnn is wrong first. cnn. wrong. first. [ applause ] >> jimmy: at least they're first. wolf blitzer sounds like a hell's angel anyway, right? robert kraft, the owner of the new england patriots, he is the co-star of a strange video that has been making its rounds on the internet. it's an audition tape made by a woman who is believed to be his girlfriend. >> hi, i'm auditioning for mary elena. >> jimmy: that's her. she's auditioning for a role in the upcoming vince vaughn movie.
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and she needed someone to help her read lines. and that someone she got to help was billionaire nfl team owner robert kraft. >> you were really good up there. i didn't mean that in a sexual -- but not that it wasn't erotic. >> i am so embarrassed. >> well, now we're even. because dancing in front of you was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. >> no offense, but i get guys like you in my classes all the time. >> so, you don't even remember, which means we're not even. only one way to fix that. >> jimmy: they have such chemistry. there's a magnetism there is -- i almost felt like i might get sucked into it. like watching porn without the sex, is what it is. [ laughter ] here's more. this is an angry confrontation, during which mr. kraft reveals that he's a powerful executive at yahoo. >> i'm an exec at yahoo. >> yahoo? what's that? not familiar with that company. >> [ bleep ] you, [ bleep ].
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>> kyle! >> jimmy: academy awards all around. i assume she got the part. [ applause ] maybe he got the part. i hope. wouldn't it be funny if he wound up getting the part instead of her? i kind of -- honestly feel like he was maybe only doing it because he wants to have sex with her, but that's just -- here's some big news. miley cyrus has a new tattoo. but it's not your typical chinese symbol for peace or whatever. it's a quote from a speech teddy roosevelt gave in 1910. for real. finally history is coming alive before our eyes. let's look at the tattoo. it says, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat. she must have been super high on salvia when she got that. [ applause ] that is -- right, i mean -- it's like something you would -- something you would write on
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your arm to cheat on a test. and i would like to believe that teddy roosevelt would get the lyrics to "party in the usa" tattooed on his lower back area. to return the favor. mitt romney turned up in an unlikely place today. he gave a speech at the naacp conference in houston. why, i don't know. maybe he confused naacp with nascar, but -- [ laughter ] it got off to a bad start when romney pulled up in front of the convention center and locked the doors to his limo. romney isn't very popular among african-american voters. in fact, diabetes is more popular among african-american voters than mitt romney. he did his best. it didn't go very well. he got booed when he said he plans to repeal obama care. he did have one strong moment. he hit on something that the crowd really seemed to enjoy. >> my policy will be, number one, create jobs for the american people. i do not have a hidden agenda. [ applause ]
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and i submit to you this, if you want a president who will make things better in the african-american community, you are looking at him. [ laughter ] you take a look. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he had to have laughed when he wrote that down, right? someone had to. it seems like the actor they would cast to play the part of the guy who is trying to shut method man's house party down. mitt wasn't the only candidate delighting audiences on the campaign trail. yesterday, in las vegas, vice president biden gave a speech to a gathering of latino activists. he was trying to relate to the crowd by telling them about his big family living in one small house, but he did it in a special way that only joe biden can, with a weird sex reference at the end. >> my mother said, wonderful for children, by the way, having your grandpop live with you,
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your great aunt, your uncle. for real. those walls were thin. i wonder how the hell my parents did it, but that's a different story. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a weird thing to wonder. actually -- believe it or not, it's a long-standing tradition for vice presidents to tell racy jokes. look at this -- we found this footage of hubert humphrey back in 1965. >> mr. chairman, mr. president, my fellow americans, i ask you this. what did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? wear clothes. beat it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you see what i'm saying? [ applause ] so that goes way back. i think dirty jokes should be an official duty of the vice president. you know, joe biden says a lot of nutty things when he speaks
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in public. never seems to get him down. he keeps doing it. he's figured out a way to capitalize on it and raise money from their campaign. >> this summer, don't miss your chance to see america's funniest number two. joe biden, vp of comedy. >> those walls were awful thin, i wonder how my parents did it. but that's a different story. >> every laugh. >> as barack says, a three-letter word. jobs. j-o-b-s. jobs. >> every gaffe. >> god rest your soul and, um -- wait, your mom -- your mom is still alive, your dad passed. god bless her soul. >> the joe biden vp of comedy tour. you'll vp your pants laughing. >> i promise you, the president has a big stick. [ laughter ] >> i'm mitt romney, and i approve this message.
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>> jimmy: well, hi, welcome back. tonight on the program, a man you know from "the killing" on amc. his award-winning film "easy money" comes out this week. joel kinnaman is here. he's swedish, so -- i don't know, maybe -- actually, i have a hutch from ikea i can get him to help me assemble. and then, the lead singer of system of a down, this is his third solo album called "harakiri," it just came out yesterday. serj tankian from the bud light outdoor stage. tomorrow night, from the movie "the watch," billy crudup will be here, as will the great fred willard, and we'll have music from grace potter & the nocturnals. so, join us for that tomorrow. our first guest is a very funny
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and easily-annoyed, emmy-winning writer and performer. you know from her work on "curb your enthusiasm" and many other things. you can hear her now as the voice of a sloth in "ice age: continental drift." it opens in 3d this friday. please welcome wanda sykes. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing all right, thank you for asking. has summer been going well for you? do you like the summer? >> it's too damn hot, jimmy. >> jimmy: it was hot. it was hot today and yesterday, really hot. >> yeah, yeah. it was hot yesterday and -- i went on a hike yesterday up at runyan, which means i have white friends -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why do you say that? >> black people don't do stuff like that. >> jimmy: they don't?
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>> you know what? i mean, it was -- what? it was like, what, like, africa hot. it was like -- [ laughter ] it was, like, satan's balls hot, right? >> jimmy: it was. >> and, you know, my friends are like, we should go on a hike, i'm like -- i know i need to work out, but okay, cool, i got outside, i was like, good lord. what the hell? and we started and then i saw more people of color up there and, usually, runyan, i don't see that many black people -- >> jimmy: it's a canyon right down the street. >> i'm seeing all these black people, i'm like, what is this, test your african genes day today? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you think the story was, just -- >> what the hell? i think black people just said, i want to see how african i really am today. i just want to see -- [ laughter ] -- what the percentage. and, you know, i actually had my genealogy and everything tested and i think he lied because he
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said i was, like, 59% african -- no. i'm probably about 23%. >> jimmy: maybe 23%? >> i almost died up there, man it was -- it was ridiculous. >> jimmy: what about your wife? your wife is from france, right? >> hell, no. >> jimmy: she didn't. >> it's like 66 degrees in paris right now. what the hell? she would just, poof, just blow up. >> jimmy: she would? >> in that type of heat. she didn't go. and right now she's actually out of town. she's -- she works, so, she, you know. >> jimmy: got you. >> she's out of town, which is hard. >> jimmy: she goes out of town, when she goes out of town, are there things you do when you have the house, kind of, to -- >> why are you getting all up in my business, jimmy? we on tv, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i forgot. i'm sorry. i got carried away. >> what's up? i thought we were cool. >> jimmy: i'll ask you after the show, i'll check back in. >> please. well, you know, we have kids, so, i watch -- you know, watch the kids and everything.
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and, you know, which is -- it's hard because, we both work, so, it makes it -- it's a little, you know, difficult, you know, she's working, i'm working. right now, i'm really trying to talk her into getting another wife. [ laughter ] we need another wife. i mean, we -- we have they just work. >> jimmy: it's not a bad idea. >> they say thank you. send her some flowers. take her to dinner now and then. and we'll be married, so you know there's no sex involved. [ laughter ] that's why i'm kind of leaning towards romney right now. >> jimmy: is that right? everyone has their own personal reasons. >> you got to go for yours, man.
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>> jimmy: where in france is your wife from, and i'm asking as if i know any parts of france. i know there's the south of france i've never been there. >> no? >> jimmy: well i heard it's great, but i'm always working and then paris i have been too. >> paris is nice, she's from that area, but it's all the same. >> jimmy: it is? >> you know, they're french people. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: even you, who married a french person -- >> i love them to death, but it's still the same, i mean, they think everything is much better in france. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right. last time, i was there in june, walking with my mother-in-law and i stepped in some dog poop, i go, what is -- you guys don't clean up your dogs -- she goes, ah, but it's french. [ laughter ] like, she was offended that my american foot stepped in -- [ laughter ]
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-- french dog pop, like, get your american foot out of my dog pop. i'm like, it's -- >> jimmy: do your kids speak french? >> yes, yes, they do. they speak french. >> jimmy: will you celebrate bastille day? >> of course mp. i was sharpening up the guillotine earlier today. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how do you celebrate bastille day? is there a way? >> i have no idea. >> jimmy: you have no idea? >> i mean, each year, we celebrate it, but to me, it could be cinco de mayo, it's -- we drink, we celebrate, i'm trying to get them to, like, really get involved, i'm like, let's just go down to the county jail and just storm that bitch, you know? let's -- >> jimmy: yeah, mix it up. [ applause ] >> let's really get into it, you know? >> jimmy: let's surrender to something. you can't say that around your wife -- >> no, you can't -- jimmy, this is tv man, come on. >> jimmy: is your wife a u.s. citizen? >> yes. >> jimmy: dual citizenship?
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>> yeah. she has the dual thing. she voted in the last election -- >> jimmy: in ours? >> yeah, also in hers. >> jimmy: she can vote in both? >> i don't know if i'm supposed to be talking about that, jimmy. you are really all in my business right now. i don't think i like it. but i love you. but this is getting me in a lot of trouble. my wife gets deported tomorrow. this is awful. >> jimmy: you'll have the extra wives -- >> i got the extra wives, the backup wives. >> jimmy: it should be okay. we're going to take a quick break here. wanda sykes is with us. more with wanda when we come back. siri, what's my day look like? [siri] another busy day today. are you serious? [siri] yes i'm not allowed to be frivolous. ah ok, move my 4 o'clock today to tomorrow. change my 11am to 2. [siri] ok marty, i scheduled it for today. is that rick? where's rick? [siri] here's rick. oh, no that's not rick. now, how's the traffic headed downtown? [siri] here's the traffic. ah, it's terrible, terrible! driver, driver! cut across, cut across,
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we'll never make it downtown this way. i like you siri, you're going places. [siri] i'll try to remember that. i'm here to snake the drain. i'm here to flush the pipe. vo: liquid plumr double impact has a long snake that reaches deep in the pipe to grab the toughest clogs, and a powerful gel to finish off the rest. baby. liquid plumr double impact. so the production of twix was divided between two separate factories. left twix factory cascades caramel and chocolate onto cookie, while right twix factory flows caramel and chocolate onto cookie. today they share nothing, but a wrapper and a driveway. try both and pick a side. [ lori ] your memory was erased. your mind was implanted with a life you think you've lived.
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♪ [ male announcer ] tomorrow... i promise i'll find you. ♪ [ male announcer ] what is real? you're still back at rekall strapped to a chair. [ male announcer ] what is recall? [ doug ] i want to remember. ♪ [ lori ] this is not a delusion! [ male announcer ] "total recall." rated pg-13. at the peak of the season, but did you know that the strawberry... [ male announcer ] super. that's all we need to hear. the season berry and spinach salad is available for lunch and dinner. it's one of the new fresh flavors of summer, starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. see you tomorrow.
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we just knew sid would want to see his poor, dear granny before her time is up. >> i bury you all and dance on your graves. >> why don't you show the cape? she could use a nap. >> boy, there's so much to tell you. you know, a lot has happened since the last time i saw you. >> not interested. >> jimmy: that is wanda sykes in "ice age: continental drift." it opens friday. you are a sloth in the movie. >>i am. >> jimmy: you would not be the voice i would think of to attach to a sloth.
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>> well, thank god you are not the head of this -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've been in a number of animated movies and you always sound like wanda. you sound like yourself in every one of them. >> it's crazy. they -- i mean, it's like that's what they ask for. >> jimmy: that's what they want. >> i show up, i go, okay, you know, this is a -- she's granny. she's granny sloth, i said, okay, i'm working on my old lady voice. hey, i dance on your graves, stuff like that. and i'm in the booth, he's like, nope, no, just do your regular voice is fine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. >> this is a much older woman. of course you want me to put a spin on it. nope. >> jimmy: no spin. >> not even a little curve. nothing. >> jimmy: well, that's good in a way. they want what they want and you got it. >> you got to give people what they want. if you are going to see chubby
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checker and he doesn't do "the twist," you'd be disappointed. >> jimmy: you're right. i heard you got -- i heard you bid on a tattoo. where did you bid? >> it was for -- do you have any tattoos? >> jimmy: no, no. >> it was for the gay and lesbian center here. a great organization. i wanted to support them. i bid on a tattoo and i won it. and i'm getting -- kat von d is going to do the tattoo. how cool is that? she's a top ink person. and, but the reason why i bid on it, not only because it was a good organization, but i'm looking around, there's like, older bidding on this. i was trying to save them from themselves, like -- [ laughter ] you don't want to see that. [ laughter ] i mean, i'm like, i'm like on that edge, i'm on the line of -- of course, i get something classy, you know? >> jimmy: what will you get? >> i'm thinking about lightning bolts on my inner thighs.
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>> jimmy: i like it. i love it. [ laughter ] it is always great to see you. if you get the lightning bolts, please, wear shorts when you come back. wanda sykes, everybody. "ice age: continental drift" opens in theaters on friday. we'll be right back with joel kinnaman. >> it's here the bud light port paradise music festival. two ships will be taking people to the bahamas for a two-day music festival. ? every room deserves to look great. and every footstep should tell us we made the right decision. so when we can feel our way through the newest, softest, and most colorful options... ...across every possible price range...
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series sponsored by bud light. to stream off-air performances and other music videos, go to jimmy kimmel live.com. friends to help make the real world easier to use. you connr my smartphone is the one thing that i never leave my house without, and it's the one thing that if i do forget, i go back to pick it up. it would be impossible to do the things that we're doing with foursquare if it wasn't for all the technology you find in a smartphone. blue shirt: when the technology's right, anything can happen. vo: get the exclusive white samsung galaxy s iii on sprint. only at best buy. the unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks lunching. at olive garden. just $6.95. fresh, crisp salad made when you order it, four soups made fresh daily, baked breadsticks right out of the oven! just $6.95.
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>> i wanted to come to california, so, my father woke me up one morning and he was like, joel, you're -- you're going to hell valley, texas. >> jimmy: hell valley? >> later i found out it was called dell valley. i was like, oh, all right -- so, you know, it's like a 17-hour flight, i get on the flight, you know, sitting on the plane, i'm very worried, how everything is going to turn out and, you know, i get off at austin airport and i'm trying to, everybody's like, all the families are there and trying to find their people and i'm trying to find my people. there's no people, like, i'm looking, there's no people. and then i, finally, look down and there are these two really tiny people, very, very short. >> jimmy: elves?
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>> i would say hobbits. >> jimmy: hobbits? >> like, right in between elves and hobbits. and one of them, the male version, he had, like, this huge cowboy hat. it was -- it's the biggest cowboy hat i've seen. i mean, it helped that he was so tiny. >> jimmy: yosemite sam picked you up at the airport. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did he have two big guns? >> he did have a huge mustache. >> jimmy: that's him! he couldn't bring the guns to the airport. [ cheers and applause ] >> so, i was -- the whole airport, you know, like, when we are getting my bags, i was trying to, like, get a peek of his face, you know, i couldn't see it because it was in, you know, completely gone with the hat, so, we were walking through the whole airport and going out in the parking lot, this heat just hit me and i have to see his face, i have to see his face.
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and finally, we reach the car and he hasn't said a word. she's like yapping, like, oh, i'm so glad to see you. you look incredible. i was waiting for hours. we love you. i was like, you love me? all right. i have never met you before. and finally we reach the car, you know, like, and he had this big white lincoln town car. i'm like, i got to break the ice, i was like, wow, this is a great, great car you have, you know? >> and he was like -- yep. all right, this is going to be rough. so, we get in the car, it's in austin and people told me that austin was, you know, very liberal part of texas. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> and we just kept driving. oh, we just kept driving and i was looking back and i saw, like, austin receding, like getting smaller and then it was gone and just red dirt roads and, like, trailer homes and finally we took off from the
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highway and we drive in and it was the weirdest thing i've ever seen. it was like in this neighborhood, it wasn't a trailer park. there were trailer homes but they had their own lots. and this couple, they had, you know, just above a trailer home, it's like, you know, the kind of houses that have three pieces. >> jimmy: premanufactured home. >> you see the bathroom on the freeway, you know? >> jimmy: right. >> that's kind of house. but like, in the driveway, i was -- it was the weirdest thing. they had these eight cars, like, an old greek pal sad in their driveway. the ones closest to the road, things were growing out of them. all dusty. apparently they have separation anxiety with their old cars so they -- >> jimmy: just keep them there? >> yeah. >> jimmy: we do that here sometimes. >> yeah. apparently that's what you guys do. >> jimmy: that's what we do. >> so, we drove in there and i
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was like, oh, look at these cars, you know? and we drove in and then, you know, we went to the door and they put the key in the door and right when they put the key in the door, i just heard from the inside, it was like this -- [ makes dog barking noises ] i was like, what is this? i have no idea what that is in there and they open the door and it was like -- these 11 long-haired sausage dogs are all around my legs. and i felt like, you know, indiana jones, it was like lowered down into the snake pit. i was like -- and all these dogs and, like, and then this woman, she was like, they all love you, they all love you! i was like, yeah, they do. she's like, which dog do you want to sleep with? i was like, ah, we don't sleep with dogs in sweden. we don't sleep with dogs, like -- and then came dinner, you know, like, dinner and she was like, you know, like, do you want green with your steak? i was like -- green with my steak?
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yeah, sure, i'll take some green with my steak. are there any other colors? i love blue, like, i love -- do you have red? >> jimmy: you got a real taste of america. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: most actors come to hollywood, that's all they see. maybe they go up to, like, they go over to pittsburgh and work there for a little while. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and this movie that you are in, in sweden, won the swedish academy award. you won best actor. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is called, what is the award called? [ applause ] >> ah, thank you. >> jimmy: big fans of the -- >> the golden ikea. you actually only get the certificate and then you have to go get it, like, you get the -- >> jimmy: you have to put it together. >> there was a part missing on mine. but it's still a great honor. >> jimmy: you can't -- we have a
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clip of the movie. do you need to set this up? i will say, it's -- it's subtitled, so -- i hope we have some readers here in the audience. >> yeah, well, i can just tell, like, really briefly what the movie is about. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i play this working class kid that comes from the north of sweden and he has this dream of becoming a part of the upper class. and he's this economic whiz kid. and, so he starts to impersonate them, sort of like a talented mr. ripley. and, but he has to finance this lifestyle. and he falls in love with this, like, high society girl and then he gets involved with, you know, like, the -- these ikea robbers, you know? [ laughter ] and it's a three-way story, there's like this chilean cocaine dealer, this serbian mafia hitman and these three stories intertwine. the clip that we're going to e,
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actually -- a guy that's a friend of mine, we're going to his apartment because he sold the guys i'm working for out, so, he's -- he's going down. >> jimmy: again, it's called "easy money." brook screami-- >> jimmy: "easy money" opens in theaters in new york and l.a. on friday. thank you very much for being here. joel kinnaman, everybody. we'll be right back with serj
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♪ we're the day birds deciding to fly against the sky ♪ ♪ within our dreams we all wake up to kiss the ones who are born to die ♪ ♪ we're the greying herds hurting each other with our lives ♪ ♪ within our dreams we all wake up to kiss the ones who are born born to die ♪ ♪ born to die ♪ the drum fish they beached themselves in hara-kiri ♪ ♪ the blackbirds they fell in thousands from the sky ♪ ♪ their red wings streaming down from the higher seas ♪
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♪ deflected by the ground they crowned the sun they crowned the sun ♪ ♪ they crown the sun they crown the sun ♪ ♪ but i believe that they are free when their time was done their time was done ♪ ♪ they were drowned by the only one they crown the sun ♪ ♪ but i believe that they are free washed by the sun ♪ ♪ our statues the soaring edifice of our times ♪ ♪ detracted from the ways of the wise ♪ ♪ the future will view all history as a crime ♪ ♪ so father tell us when is the time to rise they crown the sun ♪
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♪ they crown the sun ♪ they crown the sun ♪ but i believe that they are free when their time was done their time was done ♪ ♪ they were drowned by the only one they crown the sun but i believe that they are free ♪ ♪ we're the day birds deciding to fly against the sky ♪ ♪ within our dreams we all wake up to kiss the ones who are born to die ♪ ♪ we're the greying herds hurting each other with our lives ♪ ♪ within our dreams we all wake up to kiss the ones who are born born to die ♪
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