captioning made possible by warner bros.

whoo-hoo! 100,000. what do you say we poke our nose into space, frank? no, that's enough, hawk. we're approaching heat barrier. let's level off. recover one, this is falcon. beginning descent now. roger, daedalus. got you on the scope, frank. [music playing on radio] miss october. well, well.

bing! 110,000th floor. ladies' lingerie. [boom] you catch that, hawk? oh, she's all right, she's all right. she's just talking to me, that's all. you trust me, don't you, frank? we're taking her down, hawk. that's an order. uhh, here we go again. frank, look at that. that's where we're goin'. i don't know how, and i don't know when, but... ♪ fly me to the moon ♪ and let me play among the stars and... ♪ [engine dying] oh, come on, baby, come on. you want to get out and give us a push, frank?

ohh, we got to eject, we got to eject. it's 112,000 feet. are you out of your mind? we haven't got any choice, frank. we're not riding this one out. call a mayday. we're popping, we're popping. i'm not losing another ship. don't think about it, just do it. i'm gonna count down to one. you ready? one. ohh. ohh. crazy son of a bitch. he almost landed like a bug on a windshield. whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! hoo hoo!

this is it. first one down wins the prize. [siren] ha ha ha! [siren in distance] ha ha ha ha ha. whoo hoo hoo hoo!

112,000 feet, and i feel fine! you've always got to push things to the limit, don't you? well, that's what i do best, frank. hawk: get off me! come on, you guys! break it up! come on! stop! [sighs] [clears throat] is that smoke i smell? looks like a fire out by ridgecrest. we crashed the x-2. my $4 million x-2? is that the x-2 that you're referring to? we, uh-- we did break both speed and altitude records, sir.

and beat the free-fall mark by 30,000 feet. 3 planes in 10 months. that's bound to be a record, too, hawkins. the engine failed. the aircraft went into a flat spin. we couldn't recover. but you made it. that's the important thing. and you made it... [sighs] just in time, frank. good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press. i am major bob gerson of the united states air force, and i hold in my hand... [jet flying] [clears throat] a directive from the office of the president of the united states of america. it reads... "effective immediately, "the air force's formal involvement "in outer-atmosphere testing and exploration "is hereby terminated. "a new civilian agency, "the national aeronautics and space administration, "is this day chartered.

"project daedalus is now complete and designated mission accomplished." reporter: the air force is out? what about the pilots? who's gonna be the first american in space? well, the decision has been made after an exhaustive search. we have identified who could best carry out a mission of this magnitude. this job calls for toughness, both mental and physical toughness, and in the tradition of the best of the air force, an ability to follow orders to the letter. ladies and gentlemen, i would like you to meet maryanne, the first american to cross into outer space. [murmuring] [laughter] this way. oh, look, frank, she wants to shake your hand. you bastard.

shake her hand for the cameras, frank. that is an order. photographer: smile for the camera. [laughter] photographer: over here, please. it just isn't responding. [speaking russian] uh, ladies and gentlemen, this is mission director sara holland. miss holland has been monitoring the situation closely, and she assures me that the problem is well in hand. good morning, ladies and gentlemen. as some of you may know, 11 days ago, atmospheric tracking determined that russian communications satellite ikon

has initiated orbital degradation. computer trajectory models predict a steady acceleration in sequence with the gravitational constant. there's a total systems failure in the online navigation and guidance avionics. all redundant systems are non-responsive. without active course correction, in the next 30-40 days, the satellite will reenter the earth's atmosphere. and crash? general... ikon has given you 14 years oservice. that is within the performance range of a communications satellite. it will probably crash in the ocean or burn up in the atmosphere. i think it's best that we let it. [clears throat] my country's grateful for the efforts of nasa and the state department. however, losing ikon is not an option. ikon is not just a communications satellite to the russian federation. ikon is the communications satellite.

you are, undoubtedly, aware of our restructuring problems. losing all telecommunications until we are able to replacekon could plunge us into chaos. and perhaps even civil war. hard to believe that you fellas only have one bird up there. couldn't we just transfer the workload? gene... excuse me, sara. [clears throat] we have been given a presidential mandate to assist the russians, our partners in the international space station, and i assure you that we will fix this problem. it's just a glitch. you are feeding these guys boldfaced lies. it's a waste of money, and it's a waste of my staff's time. sara, you're one hell of an engineer, but, you know, you don't know jack about politics. now, helping the russians to save face

is an act of good faith. now, how are you gonna put a price on that? this thing is dumb as a post. it's dead in the air. kid, why don't you just stop trying to talk to this satellite? i mean, you have the code. why don't you just override the guidance system? you want to figure that mess out? bob, t guidance system on this thing is a dinosaur. these--even these guys don't understand it. it's--it's pre-microprocessor. it's pre-everything. whoever designed this byzantine piece is probably chopping rocks in siberia. sara: ethan, can i access the skylab files from here? ethan: yeah. what the sam hill does that have to do with anything? you're a damn fine politician, bob, but you don't know jack about engineering. this is the guidance system from skylab. that's not possible. well, i mean, maybe there's similarities, but they can't be the same. i'm looking up the designer.

aw, hell. don't bother. it was francis d. corvin. is he dead? ha. only if i'm lucky. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] discover the tempting layers of ferrero rocher. a whole hazelnut, smooth chocolaty cream inside a wafer shell, covered in milk chocolate and hazelnut pieces. ♪ ferrero rocher. make your moments golden. every single small kitchen appliance is on sale right now at sears!

plus get an extra 10% off with saving pass! all cuisinart is on sale! kitchenaid standmixer just $299.99! kenmore coffeemaker or blender, only $29.99. so go to sears now! that's the guy who gets his salsa from new york city. new york city? [ alarm chirps ] [ male announcer ] 'round here, there's only one word for salsa: pace. made the right way for that big bold kick. grab the southwest by the bottle. a body at rest tends to stay at rest... while a body in motion tends to stay in motion. staying active can actually ease arthritis symptoms. but if you have arthritis, staying active can be difficult. prescription celebrex can help relieve arthritis pain so your body can stay in motion. because just one 200mg celebrex a day can provide 24 hour relief for many with arthritis pain and inflammation. plus, in clinical studies, celebrex is proven to improve daily physical function so moving is easier. and celebrex is not a narcotic.

when it comes to relieving your arthritis pain, you and your doctor need to balance the benefits with the risks. all prescription nsaids, like celebrex, ibuprofen, naproxen, and meloxicam have the same cardiovascular warning. they all may increase the chance of heart attack or stroke, which can lead to death. this chance increases if you have heart disease or risk factors such as high blood pressure or when nsaids are taken for long periods. nsaids, including celebrex, increase the chance of serious skin or allergic reactions or stomach and intestine problems, such as bleeding and ulcers, which can occur without warning and may cause death. patients also taking aspirin and the elderly are at increased risk for stomach bleeding and ulcers. do not take celebrex if you've had an asthma attack, hives, or other allergies to aspirin, nsaids or sulfonamides. get help right away if you have swelling of the face or throat, or trouble breathing. tell your doctor your medical history and find an arthritis treatment for you. visit celebrex.com and ask your doctor about celebrex. for a body in motion. you tell us what you want to pay, and we give you

a range of coverages to choose from. who is she? that's flobot. she's this new robot we're trying out, mostly for, like, small stuff. wow! look at her go! she's pretty good. she's pretty good. hey, flobot, great job. oops. [ powers down ] uh-oh, flobot is broken. the "name your price" tool, only from progressive. call or click today. ♪ climb a little bit higher ♪ tell me would you shine for me ♪ ♪ would you hope a little bit longer ♪ ♪ sing a little bit louder ♪ tell me would you shine for me ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah

[woof woof] would you like me to read the instructions to you again? [whirring] let me tell you something, my dear. those instructions were written by a fella in japan when they made this damn thing, and they were probably translated by some gringo who's an expatriate american who couldn't get a job in this country. and, uh, then the japanese guy probably translated him just to double-check on him. we don't need these instructions. not at all. [rips]

[laughs] tear 'em up. [jazz playing on radio] you know the door to the house is locked, right? well, it's no problem. huh. you forgot the batteries? yeah. i've got you here in the garage, the smell of gasoline... [laughs] i'veot fertilizer. what, are you ashamed of me, huh? no, no, no, no. i'm gonna push you up on this washer and turn you a few cycles. frank! help! how do you turn this washer on? ohh! help! i'm locked in the garage with a dirty old man. didn't we do this once 20 years ago? [laughing] no, no. no. dr. corvin?

yes? excuse me, sir. am i interrupting something? yeah. dr. corvin, i'm sara holland, and this is astronaut ethan glance. we're with nasa. it was in your c-car. i heard someone scream. well, thanks for saving the day. now, what is it you want? could we have a minute of your time? well, you should have called ahead of time. i'm a very busy man. [giggles] dr. corvin... we're here because a satellite with your guidance system onboard is about to reenter the atmosphere. the system is non-responsive. you want to take a crack at it? ethan: there seems to be an interruption in the path here, but the circuitry's still operational. it's sending us data. you're losing your uplink. well, there has to be a problem in the manual routing drive here.

i don't think so. that's the consensus among the engineers. same engineers who sent you two here? [crunching ice] sorry. that bother you? yes, it does, actually. oh. your design predates all existing guidance systems. it was ahead of its time in '69, but this technology's obsolete now. none of the current engineers can even speak the language, and the older guys are all... are... yeah. well, it wasn't designed for this duration of duty, that's what. it was designed for the skylab. my advice to you is to capture the satellite and bring it home. it's too big. what, for the space shuttle? whatind of bird is it? it's a russian... communicationss. what the hell's my guidance system doing on a russian satellite? that's not really our primary concern at this time.

well, where-- where's it orbiting? or is that not your primary concern, either? 1,000 miles. rate of decay? 8,000 meters per day and accelerating. yeah. it's coming home, all right. 5 weeks at the most, i got. nasa's calculations agree, but here we are. doctor, you designed this system. if anyone can solve this problem, it's you. you know, for a minute there i thought you two might be a couple of bob gerson's lackeys, but your knowledge and your knowledge of history seems to make that impossible. gerson's been taking credit for my work since '58 when he replaced my ass with a monkey. ha. you don't work for gerson, do you? he's a project manager at nasa.

he's one of many people assigned to this problem. i think it's time for you two toead on out of here. dr. corvin, your country needs you. put a sock in it, sonny. you can't fix it from down here, and you can't get a team up to speed in time. that satellite's dying. it's gonna come back. my only hope is that, uh... whatever it doesn't burn up in the atmosphere lands on gerson's house. i'll give you two a little bit of career advice. stay away from gerson, as far as possible. apparently the buzz on you is correct. d what buzz is that? you're not a team player. that's why you washed out at nasa. get out. we have to brush up on your hospitality skills.

[sighs] i think i have a solution for your problem. thank you. frank corvin. so how long s it been, frank?

probably not long enough, bob. ha ha ha ha. still haven't lost the corvin charm, have we? would you care for a cup of coffee? sure. sara? no, thanks. miss holland here tells me you're up to speed on our little problem. we've got one sick bird. apparently, there's some kind of design flaw in the guidance system. well, this is a hell of a way to get the designer to help you out. yeah? well, i heard all about your initial response, but don't you worry none. i'm sure we'll come up with something. dr. corvin is here with a solution. wellpraise the lord and hallelujah. we are delivered. so, tell us about your solution, frank. send my team up.

we'll fix your broken satellite for ya. damn good cup of coffee, bob. do you want to run that by me again? team daedalus. jerry, hawk, tank. send us up. this is a joke. am i right? it's no joke. we were the best of the best. even you'll admit to that, bob. uh-huh. and how old are you, frank? old enough to know your ass is in a sling. sara, would you excuse us for a minute? this is about to become a personal matter. i know you're running out of options. otherwise, you'd have never come to me, bob. you sure as hell got that right. all right, you've got a satellite that's gonna come down in 34 days. too big to retrieve. and for some reason, you don't want it to come back

and crash in the atmosphere. i did the design system. i'm the man to fix it for you. i don't know how to break this to you, frank, but you're an old man. yeah? well, this old man's all you've got. you know that, and i know that. hell, you sent up glenn, didn't you? i'll be waiting to hear from you. you became a senior citizen 5 years ago. 4. oh, hell, frank, for once in your life, try to be a team player. train the crew if you want to, but let the professionals at nasa fix that design flaw. there is no flaw. how it got on a soviet satellite in the middle of the cold war-- that's the only flaw i know of. how did that happen, bob? i don't know. well, this is a hands-on job,

and i haven't got time to train somebody to come up in your time frame. so you'll just have to send up team daedalus. you can take it, or you can leave it. all right, all right. you as a technical advisor, maybe, but i can't fill up a space shuttle with geriatrics, and you ought to be professional enough to know that. hell, half those boys are probably dead anyway. clock's ticking, bob, and i'm only getting older. ok. you got it. sir. sir! sir. mr. gerson would like you to wait right here. ok, it's a deal. i want it in writing.

ok. now hear my terms. you and your entire crew will have to meet the exact physical requirements as any other astronaut here. you will all train to fix that guidance system side by side with my people, in case one of your boys doesn't pass. i think that's fair. your damn straight it is. i can't tell you how much i'm gonna enjoy watching you make a complete ass of yourself. it's gonna be a real pleasure working with you again, bob. mm-hmm.

i love the holidays. the traditions. ♪ the decorations. and, of course, the spirit of giving. your moment. your dove. shop kmart and get after christmas prices now... at the christmas blowout sale! buy one get one half off on these toys... and get up to 50% off all fashion boots and family slippers... plus find thousands of gifts for under $10! now that's kmart smart. when you pour chunky beef with country vegetables soup over it... you can do dinner. four minutes, around four bucks. campbell's chunky. it's amazing what soup can do.