♪ n: b n,ave you se my ys?keyskeys, key- fo ben d kare noagbrilliant.( kidsuting

) ben d you geinread 've missed thwalk veotake the car!shoeeendair! can'ople ju l what are you doing dte i'ng itto sw-and-tell. no, you're not. show-and-tell's on friday,d totuesda.. but theyhangedt. they hav have they? yeah. didy chant?la wnesd. who changed it? man:blems thdistri l let go. we're gonna put it back. but ally want tke i no, you can't ke lets!mend p ben, come on, look can i ta this for history week? no, you can't take it. ( static ) it off.n it off. beoust inmy hin now and get your shoes. nothing between re d tor ll! what is it this time?e wrg sof

"staff shoages." how can that be? every kid wantto bea triver. oh, hi, it's sue. yeah, i was just wondering whether yoew if they've changed show-and-tell tuesday. ( panicky chatter ) n-n-noit's oeetoanic. it's probably ju benmaki thi. d yok wi jh? tnk y boy: mum, iten paseit, and i don'want to bee for fir day of big school. don't rryou'll be fine. beand karen,e you ing : ye. they haven'tchanged show-a-tell. thanks. okay i'll see yat. why does he lie ke tt? i doknow. me ks b as anttention-seeking strategy. he told his teacher i'd iir yebut in vca e was ner gobeevit.buthhardthe is ? what are you doing? no, please don't do that dochecyour emails.

but this one's from veronica. espeal not one om veronic if you hadn't checked, you 't kno was the i need toisere's no time to read it. thre wee eant to working for that woman. oh, no. no. no, veronica, i am n havinno. ohnodon't reply, because that is fatal. reply she'eplyo youreplyand you'lle tempted to reply to her reply anll find selfapped inhat. pandora's cile rl: daddy. hello. ere's other i don't . where diyou put can u rememb no. wh's hyp well, uh, a r ex i , "you mtn't t all cake and then i ate all e cayself, then i'd be a hyite. 's awat? "twat." aerce worchdren t reall where did you hear tyou enchinia set no, last night when you rergith mum.

yeahwe, muies d ie argometimes. you shout sometimes, don't you? ( exhales ) did you, uh... did you hear anyer w there was some other wor that i h but i just can't remember them. od.somethinabout "midfe..." sometht ilck..." and... there's "pillock," and anotheword... k it's "nk and there was one, and it was "tigh" right, well, pba to e those too te whdot yo u go a fd your shoe? what w all that about? lookly-- i'alorry t laht. it's just... noitas no-- it we,cai hadn't really thought

it through. wellat'srue, we.hadn. , it was m it we. it's usually me.weitostly mell, . was m t bunk e toolhi ) ben! thado! it's for show-and-tell is ow-tell, because a) you could ne wh that b) it's day's, anc)how-and-ll is still on fridays. b, c, ♪ ♪ i, j,♪da ...ivts da ie warn you about this lying haven't benigno. no oneik bs who lie. igre. you know what happened to pinocchio? no o liked t he a caron. he's not real. you've got to stop lying. q, t ♪ yove to stying, ben, bee no likes ttleoys who lie, do ?so people do. russikes me, nathan likes me, dies me. well, well le you, ben but the point he story of pinocch was that--

but thonwho looks after me isn't call gpeo, and n't live ina little hut in the forest. no, but-- couldif you cn li okwee gog off tgent why don't you just go and get your slbook? gon. cai taur staple gun? are tonowhene mygun! ( phonrings ) we, come on! h? , ytka no, you don't havet thut tod n dafrid tosdad. , nono, nono, nolistt wo cause i get the days of t w med it's--look don't get anxious. i-it's fine. dad, i found a letter for you. ohthanks. right. aren't yougonnlook at no. uh, 's boring f. ook ter. a strd fruntie gela.

wee goa be le, we? no, we'll beine.yeahght. can i get a noteing wala because his family is useless"? dad:en bs men, b re y doi gonna t g!ren: i me these pictures soooh, lovely. that's... velytuf. whs it o a w. killg some people because itsn't want toe into od. he's ripping their heads offeiarms d ootinghe and. that ones of... pe getting ht because-- and the cow's killing them use the cow doesn't want to be made intoood.becausli so ty're me ouof cowsand pigs andffik

so that's whi drawpiure -- s. thatakes sense. i'm gonna keep hold of that one. ecial one.there'ese. oh, are they lovely! know what i gonna do? dad: ben, i toou say fm stapldidn't i? rlin go and get your shoe, 'cause i'm gonna at themi'm gonn really look at them all and havethink t themally ts and u'onna ganfiour oe. f go. we nd to it's lovel that kids it rit to the edge. try to ha a go him he'll ve reaming fit. and we d havee. wasn'tnng on-- ruler not transparent anne ansparent ru n! i cearmoveme s i ve a ansprur. dowo i know exactlywhere toe.god's sas! pete.

stsy.easy ea wt?it's his feconda don'tanto make m any more nervous. ust easy d gonnama him nerus. dothe ov-cful orhe bouncy alng him " sqre" or "mate-o just--ju east. stry andbit reatural but less self-conscious. ve you seen my keys? le tmhere is mor sorry i can't help you. i'nctratg noonsc n! he yohidingy keys aga? kare seen my keys?no dad:ake? one transparent... rulee you , uire u got erhi?i thinso. mum, we ne we it would be lo get goingifomha't veth r keys.

ellyov the glin pocke founet's g whwey? matt ben! rrabout e chao jake. are u exciteexted? well, first day of big school, u're wh e big ys n they we bigg than rse th't we, there's t goa bemany smaller than . lltim ees starting 's smallhan u. g dm. i kn. hell smal. n'ke scho that teac why doesn't jake g e schohai teach in i don'. ere ishat,i su f th dad sl nd a bitum. lly. silly wins. escily iu're lad to a teacher. buanyw that ibiscol. noneonna be lly with wpoyour sch is a fora weap? fork

how uld you usa fork apon? couldstabe that. me on. o your ngoff.timet ad oh, yo n itga.ro rllyshing heck this me because she knows that rt dlsitcoan e knows at.itl teneconds. it willnot ke sec. ke: i'a run ouide by thear now. ( huing ) ! aaah! 's ja pieof the vac no isn. 'sn. an anyt esly fes. put itack!it can desoy a planet. bulo l it a t tube inunand round and round en cing ou that end. that e bull. this gunrefulnying. atld definitely kill a fairy. no, can because fairies e magical,d juyou be kill em how? do they have a do they hanything

that can kill-- fn yohroaand turn your heart into a pumpkin d thood strug en y. at's not possible. ye andlso, they go inside enitthmini big axes chop your bones in half and so you can't move and juyoreusiny now.i'm not! rll r this. i'm sorry. mes!jake: no're denitely gonna be late! and you see, 'tr ur n. done. out-e-doorrydy. me on. wagons roll. shoeng f 'll it outin t car.ke're gonna be late! , no, not g ureaagn.itits ist? let'sav. oh, god. noyou'ree.ou go.me guys!rere you sehaven't got ni?

ve me drill. no give m give me the drill. me e dril ve me drop it. ve mthe dril ( lescream.n't am n just sitin youaty? to t down jake:it e-thi all right,k, you n t drill t car asonas pmi to lve ier whe get tol,ok?um.. no vee thdrill. no. come on, give me the-- i edri give the drill--righdrt and come now ust leyoheren your o. ght. you stay here on your own... all da nng to t'see how you lit. i'll too. by ben:ye!

( si) well, where's-- oh, no. you n't tried thee' lng you behd" ploy. wee on a ddle! n't y. he will be here in a sec.us . ( hone rgs ll. "bng ygrto school day" noso. oh, ben torittan hethis is 's firsday at bigool,

a big dafor m. sodon'shtiamin so give me the drill.e l. githe ill. me drill. ge fivee he dri. jake: yes, y, yes. mum: no, that's the schoolretaker, sweetart. geor bush is the presidentofhed states. dad: in how diu do that? yoknow. lpim with thatbelt will you, jake? you're gonnaike this school, je. yoow, is a really good school. foery sethat try to get in only one is accept. not means you're under pressure. noyo jusgot to relax and be yourself. absolutely the most important thi joit. anybodys yo where you live, you give 'emdd's address. star c )

m:lly sorry, veronica it-it's my fault. i shouldbenlyan ema.heeeps, . yeahse th. and . i ink he hyou, inow yened yr--your-- , dude. don't do that. s yo fst d at school? all right. how'orhe t. good. glad we sorted all atut. hi. everytng okay? p. jen talking my eoff about his first da-yak yayak yak yak. rht i popped in on your dad onhe w diyou? d hebered at?yeah.

and i've put a big sig on hridge ying "d'tget to eat." ood . maybe i ld he stuck it on the tv becae he only goes ridge when he's rembed teat, anyway. on thtoilet, maybe.he to go to the toilet. no, no, he's okay. he's doing fin. trou onthe rit wand trousers onthe right waka mum! so, um... bent an emailenngo you? we-- she's got m lfway through. oh, bloo these p, they know r kids ve got them, and th they just merrily pack them off to school. i . i . dad: tthe mains of the spag bol, jake? , never mind. ahe old "wt d on theids"poti eh t thou english department do that. don't think year sev spell "carjackin" actually, do you thichers realnt to kn abt ..wi mror-

llknow, eventual- lack-of-wing-mirror inci? wht? ts whatdhe hiday wasn't , but it'sot exa"road rage," is it? well, there was a road and therwara wasn't there yebut i n'thinallypeop to kabout at, jake. you wouldn't wt me to put lots of stu upn yold you? you wouldn'tnohow to do at. do tnk i could keep a nitfoa t?beitery bi we, no, t ve a nit for at. ju one. but it wouldn't be mucgo for ld i u can't really play with t, can yyou could play... like..."i spy." "i spy"? yeah. buthey can'talk, can they? they can... init lguage. in nit lane?

an d say? thay sll tng l ings oh, look at this. oo disgustireatur. you can't ha one at. wellfirst of "road rage" is twods's not u dot l "psychathi ancan't remember her saying that. that, yep... anthatbut nothat. antual we'rabout it ( phonng i- ( ringing y ist thonein cdle? y n'anyby put e phe inhe cradle? ng eugh,sn't it's alws os( ringing ) ( ringg g ) ( ring) ( ringin)

hello? yehat' uh, no, london electricity ovide g. lonn s provide rici d'you know, i'm sorry,can't real remember. anhe picked up the polcaller. classic hoolboy error. shhhclassic e,, oby i ul tpale for mynergy. t inlv, da i.shhh! they calup six o'clock at nig - i know what i'm doing. noyon' t on wh thatrry, could yousay th again? miss tabs. kaatcan as p, th? eacan't veets at the ment, darling. n' gira a giraffe? we cp tsid llno, cara e a bit biret th darling? about, thena.? onyeah.

ll mig bettit ondangerous si a a, um... puffin? a puff?!ell cku don've t wear a uniform. it wei. psstit's okay-- thourds m rry, ita ge. my ming a st fac geon with your homewk. iyo not you' listening to your ipod you're msnng yo tchingevion. tum i c mk. actually e n in ne aid h aheim ager bins nolti-taing. whereas men eimid-rties, likee,tually are surprisingly...

surisingly what? y, tre wasom v.ll yt,do ywoi' dne. how's that? y cat i keep a t in mtt hair? because theyabie d it wi bli little town in my hair. u can'have. n , you n've a nit to in yoai , iunbeable. believable.lahas confus queen elizabi d ii.e mue e wrong queen number intogle. yo dayscol okayen? hm the viinueen h g hmm.oh. onof them's

co pot. da mm-hmm? ll a fairy l irythle. woine gunkill fyeprettyeleverhing th a machine gun. would a zooka ki a fryah, bazooka. that wou get 'em. ha? sorry. ben!justk itp and put itshelyore luckymum didn't see tt.ben: wt about an atom bomb abomb would kill everythg,prettyiries, elves... : watch little britain? d: no.isonreake sopranos? no. wheris e nosa bk? it her u t.ne of my . i otitllow at t bac ere dod notyour

days. tv: e wieest seite erd.what's t atteou. be uch an idiot. het se his m being tornby ale e'drinking from exactly theame plac itzi whatme animals will to get on the so tay went llenah, . how tin get yby ntthfi?oyed sinng"hi-hio, it'sffrk we 's nerce. i ow, but it's school, dad. that'shat ppens. whatisn? nothing. comen, we's.ere must be something half-decent. ( cnns ee wo nowor y ip... isof my da soouan't! i've got it. ck( hann

..death of prian.. no, you're right. we'll icwi attenborough. oneys on t cahoh, no, dad. ynow the impa's gonna eape. no, chtah's the fastest land mammal. 's not gna get away.but 'sore e, c move quicker. imou havto be on a mote. come on. , the imla's more agi, gh--( phone rings ) come on, come o youal ja: all the way! l the wauntr!o? ja:y-y-ye hlo yes, d g i , kn out but se yomor so-- noitlook, rea isn't a veryood timeo call so-- yes. yes, iill see you morrow who wathatldaller.

ther fra. pala w, d. ( thudta ohoody h ( and karen aring)ldthe ld. id imp ( ki sutin) wgoonere? haening?he's got my dino book! ust n!ai f you . he's-- he jusbeinsilly. of bu's rekare at's my--s . oky, dot t too table. bdoou kwe're nocharrfrody's eamor frostoryb w do wowwe'rt chacr from somebody's dream? welli can'image anyonehaving a damhilln you? er the tim when i had are eninto kchen shank ilk, anth we hat's almost re fa

ah.what w going on, anyway, withou aaren? e std . she hit meitatno avt toavt mang 'cause y're ys mang tngs like what? keelli your fend mm that was a aineu'ee ndemai prng to mmy.no, i han'send m frienro. i haven' yes, you have. don't det.ot ilaeays. u hagot stopkings up pete. ot! don't macross.i know you h bn inemls pete. vei have yeha! pete! now nica is paicular c becae she di't to t at--te ben, i just torodd r a minuteitasn't him.

was j no..t s mewho nt the ema becanicasent w ofthstnabldemand i fired sometng pret explosiveac d heme a total funk, ani was rrd she might sa me. howep himbehavi lsome sort yoknownior jeffrey archer you cannot an exa? doesn't need to know. i'rri justos.likeou didin theoad rage., go.u e so mp you cost mt moffor if y could exeise a dim of srol,

then you wouldn't end up hang to e your way ouof tle. wheni gonnhaveth five-und te u promed me fotting ofhe hsethis morning? now, what have i justoldou about not lying? getse. i weh.aren iaf who arstvi do thinke overarent we (deep voice): ory rta! cat beeve you tin ephiquiet.ah!aastoin ab angela!se