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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 6, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- eric stonestreet. from "izombie," rose mciver. and music from jewel. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stop right there. here's jimmy kimmel!
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>> jimmy: very good. welcome. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] i'm glad we're here. i have some important news for those of you who were planning to eat breakfast tomorrow. general mills, you know that guy, right? the cereal guy. general mills is recalling a number of cheerios products because some boxes that were labeled gluten-free were not gluten-free. wheat somehow got worked into the mix. and as a result, 1.8 million boxes of cheerios and honey nut cheerios are being removed from the shelves at stores. and i'll tell you what. this sounds to me like the work of that evil dictator, vladimir gluten. [ laughter ] fortunately -- [ cheers and applause ]
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oh, no, no. please. don't patronize me. [ laughter ] but this does affect those people who are allergic to gluten. and also those who pretend to be allergic to gluten. [ laughter ] and by the way, while we're at it, just as a warning, another cereal that might contain wheat, just so you know, wheaties. [ laughter ] may contain wheat. it says right on the -- there you go. [ applause ] someone's in a bad mood now, just ask, who put gluten in your cheeros? [ laughter ] we have a lot to get to tonight. but first i would like to take a moment to pay tribute to gary busey, who sadly has been eliminated from "dancing with the stars." that's right. this came as a great shock to gary, who had no idea he was even on a tv show. [ laughter ] and it came as a great shock to all of us. but gary, god bless him, handled the elimination much the same way he handled his dancing. with the style and grace of a
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bear being hit by a tranquilizer gun. >> the fact that i've been eliminated is false. because i will -- [ cheers and applause ] because my spirit with anna as a partnership will remain in this room throughout the show. so you won't see us dancing, but we'll be there. [ applause ] and the point of it is this has been a beautiful experience and i've learned so much from everyone. i'm not finished. >> okay. we've got to -- stop. i've learned from everyone how to be better with everyone. when you learn from everyone how to be better with everyone, everyone is getting greater with >> all right. there. poor alfonso ribeiro picked the wrong night to fill in for tom bergeron. but i think gary sauft said he's
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planning to haunt the set of "dancing with the stars." right? [ laughter ] gary busey taught us all an important lesson. that is if you consistently get low scores in a competition you will probably not win that competition. [ laughter ] but at least he didn't bite anyone. that's something, right? this is both alarming and amusing. according to research from google, in the city of san francisco 30% of the calls made to 911 from cell phones are accidental butt dials. and the commissioner of the fcc estimates that nationally 50% of all 911 calls from mobile phones, 84 million calls, are butt dials. people need to learn to control their butts, it sounds like to me. operators started answering this -- it's so bad they've started answering, "hello, 911, what is your emergency, ms. kardashian?" [ laughter ] [ applause ] do they still do? a lot of important time and resources are wasted answering these calls. federal officials are proposing
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so from now on the new number for emergency is 328-222-837-35-0, then 911, sad face emoji, scared face emoeji, okay? so write that down, and you'll be done. [ cheers and applause ] only one number that butt should be dialing and that's 1-900-mix i've a-lot. you know this is the time of year when nobel prizes are handed out to geniuses. it's like the super bowl for things that actually matter. and the known'll prize in physics was given out today. there were a number of very deserving candidates this year but unfortunately only one prize is awarded and the nominees for the nobel prize in physics
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of the portable launch pad. >> nine, aito. [ applause ] >> jimmy: shuji oshiro. achievements in sudden deceleration. ernst muller and hance schroeder, work in application [ applause ] arthur crowden, experiments in alcohol-fueled collision. [ applause ] trailer. robert graham, breakthrough in aspartame-powered explosives.
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[ cheers and applause ] finalists. i forgot who won. won. who won, guillermo? do you know? >> i have no idea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those of you who play fantasy sports probably know, major scandal involving two big rival companies, draft kings and fan duel is brewing. both companies are facing allegations that employees placed fantasy bets using inside information. an employee at draft kings claims he won $350,000 on fan duel using data from draft kings. which seems like some version of insider trading. these are giant companies that make a lot of money and do a lot of advertising. without draft kings or fan duel the only commercials we'd have during football would be matthew mcconaughey driving around talking to himself. [ laughter ] so we owe them a lot. and it's a big deal. draft kings and fan duel issued a joint statement assuring their customers they've seen no evidence of any wrongdoing and that integrity is of the utmost importance and blah, blah, blah.
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i tell you, it's a shame to see allegations of cheating in any way taint this imaginary competition that people love so muci. between fantasy sports and fantasy sex, it's a wonder many ever leave their computers now. it really is. meanwhile, in other fantasy news. you remember the bikini princess leia worn in "return of the jedi" when she was locked up by jabba the hutt? well, that bikini along with the collar and the chain that go along with it just sold online at an auction for $96,000. the winning bidder hasn't been named, but it is safe to assume that his mother is furious. [ laughter ] $96,000 is a lot of money. especially when you consider bikini season is over. it's not -- it's not coming back for a while. meanwhile, it's fashion week in paris. all the latest fashions are on display in paris. and the new trend that's getting a lot of attention there is something called human backpacks.
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named rick owens. it's people wearing other people. gives a whole new meaning to the question who are you wearing. [ laughter ] it's functional and dysfunctional at the same time. how does it work? does the upside down girl come with the outfit? look at this. it's going to be so sad in a few months when a pile of these will end up on a clearance table at ross. [ laughter ] i already own a human backpack. it's called a baby. i carry it around like a clutch. anniversary wishes are in order for instagram. instagram turned five years old [ applause ] i can't believe it's been five years. up. instagram is the reason why you're wasting time every time weekend was. you know how it was. she went to brunch on saturday. sunday. and got drunk on friday night. long. 80 million photos are shared every day on instagram, and of
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course a lot of those are selfies. so we thought it might be fun to play an instagram-inspired edition of the pedestrian question. we went out on the street this afternoon and asked people have you posted a selfie today? here's how this will work. we're going to see someone introduce him or herself and then based solely on the introduction we're going to guess if they look like someone who would have posted a selfie today. all right? let's begin. >> my name is ciro. i come from paris. >> my name is pedro. i come from paris. >> have you guys posted a selfie today? >> have ciro and pedro from paris posted a selfie today? [ audience says yes ] >> jimmy: everyone says yes. let's see. >> yeah. yeah. >> yeah. on hollywood boulevard. it's amazing. you can see it if you want. >> you want i show it to the camera? >> yes. >> jimmy: it's a french pedro, by the way. come on. our next pedestrian is in. >> my name is vima. >> where do you come from? >> i come from germany.
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i came with my wife, and we have married 42 years. >> thank you. >> have you guys posted a selfie today? >> jimmy: hold on. i just -- did he say their names are fred and wilma? [ laughter ] what do we think, do william and alfred -- okay. the audience says no. >> yes. yes, we have. >> where did you post it? >> here. you want to see it? >> yes. >> okay. >> look. >> very nice. >> jimmy: that's a great shot. germans are known for their precision. who do we have next? >> i'm bradley from atlanta. >> have you posted a selfie today? >> jimmy: has bradley posted a selfie today? [ audience responds ] mostly nos. let's find out. >> no. was i supposed to? >> jimmy: no, you did the right thing. good for you. next up. >> i'm bryant eubank and i'm from corona, california.
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boring place. [ laughter ] >> have you posted a selfie today? >> jimmy: what about vernon? all right. a resounding yes. let's see. >> yes, i have. it was a bomb selfie. i looked great. i know. look how gracious we look, right? oh, my god. i just really love it. >> jimmy: that's what everyone in the rest of the country thinks everyone in l.a. sounds like, right? [ laughter ] all right. next. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> my name is heidi odett odett shartsinger. i'm originally from cinnamon-some son cinnamonson, new jersey. >> have you post aid selfie today? >> jimmy: has heidi post aid selfie today? well, let's find out. >> i challenged evel knievel in 1974 when he failed to jump over snake river canyon. somebody made a campaign out of me. so i never got to -- all of this can be verified. >> so that's a yes? >> yes.
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>> jimmy: all right. there we go. let's get back on track here. >> my name's adalina and i'm from arizona. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> my name's ryan and i'm from arizona. >> are you guys roommates? >> no, we're brother and sister. >> have you post aid selfie today? >> jimmy: have the kids posted a selfie today? all right. >> yes. >> can i see it? >> sure. >> what's happening in this picture? >> something. >> jimmy: what have we done to our children? i believe we have one more. >> hi. from mexico. >> hi, guillermo. have you post aid selfie today? >> jimmy: has guillermo -- of course he has. >> yes, i did. >> can you show it to me? >> yeah, sure.
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>> how much weight do you think you lost at the sauna? >> maybe one pound. >> jimmy: one pound. you go to the sauna? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> once in a while. >> jimmy: why is your head like 80 times bigger than your fist? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: it's probably from the sauna. you're in there too long. all right. thanks, everyone. we have to take a break. when we come back, my cousin sal closed down the street outside for a fake movie shoot involving a real cow. we'll also point the finger of shame when we return. so stick around. we'll be right back.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. music from jewel is on the way. but right now it's time to point
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the finger of shame. this is my ongoing campaign to make the world hopefully a less horrible place. i've been asking those of you who watch the show when you see strange, rude, and/or anti-social public behavior to point a finger and take a photo of it and post that photo to twitter or instagram with the hashtag "finger of shame." we've gotten a lot of response to this and let's go through some of them now because there are so many. this is from a user named cross-wind pilots. finger of shame trifecta. number one, loud cell phone conversation. number two, elbow near my face. and number three, an armpit. that is right. that's a trifecta. and for that you get three fingers of shame, unknown person with a blurred face. this is from alan wilkerson. wearing your bluetooth earpiece at dinner. finger of shame. you get a finger of shame both for wearing a bluetooth and for having one in 2015. this one is from busch gardens.
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it's a three -- look, the whole family teamed one fingers of shame. looks like she might be using the bathroom too while she's there. well, where else are you supposed to get fresh flamingo eggs? the store? this is a shot of a sign at a place called beer cave. beer cave. "help create miracles for local kids." [ applause ] give them the miracle of alcohol. next is another sign. "hand jobs inc. hand car wash." [ applause ] that one should get a thumbs up. and we have one more. this is posted by tweakie 221. finger of shame hashtag legoland, hashtag penis cactus. there you go. the deserts can be very immature. thanks to those who pointed and posted. remember, if you see something troubling going on around you take a photo, point a finger, post it to twitter or instagram with the hashtag finger of shame. together we can maybe make a difference. but probably not.
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and by the way, we have more than enough pictures of people's butt cracks. so you can hang on to those. all right? you know, we do our show in hollywood, in the heart of hollywood on hollywood boulevard, and we're not the only ones that shoot here. this is an area where many movies and tv shows are made. people are used to seeing cameras around here. which creates a lot of opportunity for mischief making. so what we did is set up some cameras that look like movie cameras, and my cousin sal pretended to be a producer on the set of a movie called "holy cow" about a cow that dresses up like the pope. believable, right? and then we let the cameras and good times roll. >> okay. faux films' production of "holy cow," take one. quiet, please. god. sir, i'm just having you in our shot. we need to recreate it.
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can you take two steps forward? okay. now they're saying take two steps back. hold on. i'm so sorry. that's embarrassing. now we have to come together because opposites attract. does that make any sense to you? >> only in the tv world. >> move along. move along. all right. we're ready. let's bring in the cow. cow coming through. cow coming through, everyone. nothing to see here. just a cow dressed like a pope. that's all. we're shooting "holy cow." we need you to moov quietly. get it? moo mooov quietly. >> holy cow? >> holy cow, yeah. >> that's funny. zwlt cow >> the cow's a pope, then he's a nun. >> when does it all come out? >> probably tomorrow if we get it done in time. >> back up for the exorcism scene. this may get messy.
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it's got four stomachs for crying out loud. >> let me see that. i have to take this because we have to give this to security. there's no taking pictures of the cow. >> i can delete it if you want. >> we'll bring it to our professionals upstairs they'll delete p. >> i have to use my phone for business. >> tomorrow when you -- >> no, no, no. >> you just took a picture of the pope and the cow. sir, i don't want this to be a struggle. please. >> you you steal my phone i'm calling the police. >> no, i'm not stealing your phone. >> you're saying several hours up there. >> no, several -- it's probably like tomorrow morning. >> no! absolutely not. >> okay, fine, i'll delete it. >> let me hold it. >> i'm not letting go. i'm not letting go. darks da, da, da, da, da -- >> you're making this very awkward. you made it very awkward. >> i know. >> delete that picture. >> ma'am, if you're going to walk through you have to walk under the cow. otherwise you're going to be in the shot. crawl through. go ahead. perfect. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thank you, cousin sal. tonight on the show we have music from jewel. from "izombie" rose mciver's here. we'll be right back with eric stonestreet from "modern family."
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight from the popular television show "izombie" rose mciver is here. "picking up the pieces" and she this is it. "never broken: songs are only half the story."
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we'll have music from jewel. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night our guests are guillermo del toro. and we'll hear music from thomas rhett. and on thursday lena dunham, darby stanchfield and music from don henley. so join us then. [ cheers and applause ] our first -- long, long, long before this year's big supreme court decision our first guest's show helped pave the way to national acceptance of marriage between a man and a party clown. you know him as both cam and fizbo on "modern family." you watch it wednesday nights on abc. please say hello to eric stonestreet. [ cheers and applause ] >> i like when actors do that. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a good move. >> i've always wanted to do this.
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[ laughter ] >> yeah. sure. but i like it. >> jimmy: you know, i'd like to speak to you about tonight is the band van halen. van halen, last time you were here in this building, was as a spectator. you wanted to see van halen. we had a big kornts out on hollywood boulevard. >> i e-mailed jimmy and said i ask for very little from you but van halen's on your show next week and i want to be there. >> jimmy: and we were very happy to have you here. >> jimmy gives me the best seat in the house. you gave me the best seat in the house. >> jimmy: obviously we gave you the best seat in the house. was it all you imagined it could be? >> it was incredible. david lee roth hitting himself in the nose with his baton. >> jimmy: that's right. he smashed himself right in the face. >> and then boom. like a true front man he is, he goes right back out there and finishes it. they were great. the shutting down hollywood boulevard like that was awesome. >> jimmy: it was fun. did you meet eddie van halen? >> then they were at ellen the next day. so i called my friend that's a
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producer there and i said -- i ask for very little but -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how were the seats ellen gave you? >> i was standing. >> jimmy: you were standing. >> in the -- not -- they were good. >> jimmy: not as good. >> not as good because i wasn't sitting. >> jimmy: okay. >> i like to sit whenever i get the chance. >> jimmy: i think we've established, then, that i like you better than ellen likes you. >> yes. i think it's clear now. but there i did get to meet eddie van halen. wolf now i was coming, van halen. >> jimmy: wolf is his son. >> he said you've got to come back and meet my dad. and i'm like, it's eddie van halen, right? i get geeked out over musicians and athletes. i don't care about actors, you know. [ laughter ] so i go back. and when i walk into the room eddie van halen's sitting there and he goes, "oh, man. do that high-pitched squeal thing you do." [ laughter ] it was like -- oh, my god. i was ready to geek out on you and you just -- >> jimmy: did he do the -- did you do it for him? >> i went "oh, my god!" [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: and he liked it? >> yeah, he loved it. we took a picture backstage, and then he followed me on twitter. >> jimmy: that's right. we have -- i wanted -- i was hoping this would be some kind of a surprise to you. i guess it's not. eddie van halen follows three people on twitter. the band van halen, which is following himself. >> which he started. >> jimmy: his son wolf van halen. by the way there's a couple here in the audience who are naming their baby wolf. [ applause ] and eric stonestreet. [ applause ] that's remarkable. >> you know, i think his wife or assistant or somebody did that. i doubt eddie's like, i've got to follow that guy. he cracks me up. >> jimmy: when you squeal for a man, it's a very powerful thing. it really is. >> but you know, you provided me -- then i saw him at the hollywood bowl the other night. but full circle. my first concert ever without my
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parents, i went with my brother, van halen in kansas city in 1985, the "1984" tour. i was up in the nose bleeds with chad underwood. you guys know chad underwood, right? my high school best friend. [ laughter ] but no, we were up there. and in front of us i remember this guy was sniffing some white powder off of his driver's license. and i asked like my brother what is that? he's like "don't say anything to mom and dad." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very good advice. you wouldn't have been allowed to go to this show probably. >> no, no. >> jimmy: you mentioned you're from kansas city. i know you're a big royals fan. you're also a big dodgers fan. >> i'm both. >> jimmy: so now both teams are in the playoffs. the playoffs started tonight. >> yes. >> jimmy: who do you root for if they face each other in the world series? >> well, i'm from kansas city. i said i love dodger blue, but royal blue is in my blood. i will absolutely 100% root for the royals. and i have broken that news to anyone at the dodgers organization that actually gives a crap. which is no one. >> jimmy: if they face each other in the world series --
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goal is a game 7 world series royals against the dodgers and clayton kershaw pitches a great game in game 7 and we hit a walk-off home run to win the series. >> jimmy: it's a 1-0 win? >> 1-0 win in game 7. >> jimmy: you did a video for the royals kind of -- i guess just cheering them on and showing your support. and they played it in the stadium for the team to watch pretty much every game. going. >> jimmy: and now to return that favor the royals have made a video cheering you on for your appearance on this show tonight. >> shut up. [ applause ] >> jimmy: let's go to the videotape. >> dig deep, eric. tell your best and funniest stories. >> you're a funny guy. go be funny. >> i've got to tell you a stony look. take a deep breath like these players like to do. in order to execute you've got to have the muscles relaxed and your face and your body -- [ deep breath ]
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counting on you to get the best late-night interview ever. >> let's go stonestreet. let's go stonestreet. let's go stonestreet. >> come on, man, text me back. >> let's go. [ applause ] >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: eric stonestreet, "modern family." we'll be right back. the all-new tacoma. toyota. let's go places. pain from your day can haunt you at night, don't let it. advil pm gives you the healing sleep you need, helping you fall asleep
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carly, hello. thank you so much for doing such a great job on manny's locker. >> i haven't decorated it yet. >> what? then who would -- >> well, i guess we'll never know. so. >> cameron? >> okay, fine. i did it. >> what happened with letting mother nature take its course like the otters in your computer? >> the little one's dead. >> what? >> the mother, she did nothing and an eagle pecked it apart. nature is cruel. >> you decorated manny's locker? >> i decorated eight of them. this tradition's on fumes. >> jimmy: that is from "modern family." tomorrow night 9:00 here on abc. [ applause ] let me ask you, after all this time are you -- have you gotten used to the fact you get to look at sofia vergara every day? >> no, i never get used to it and i get busted constantly. >> jimmy: and everyone's getting along i assume still? >> oh, yeah. we got really lucky with our cast. i think i probably annoy jesse the most. i mess with him constantly. >> jimmy: jesse tyler ferguson.
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>> well, you know, just today, jesse doesn't even know this. so if you're watching -- >> jimmy: oh, good. >> i got his phone from him and i went on instagram and i liked a whole bunch of butt twerking [ laughter ] [ applause ] like female butt twerking videos. so awful these people following him see that he's sitting there ooh, i like that one, i like that one. and then i noticed on one of his pictures that somebody was like, jesse, i think your phone's been hijacked because you're liking girl twerking videos. [ laughter ] no, we have a good time, though. >> jimmy: your glasses are steaming up. >> i know. >> jimmy: is that because you're videos? >> yeah. i got all hot and bothered. >> jimmy: there you go. >> i always wanted to be this kind of act porp and i always wanted to be the kind of actor who wears glasses. >> yeah. they're prescription. they're to read things like better? they steamed up when i met -- patriots' name? >> jimmy: bill belichick?
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: they steamed up when you met bill belichick? >> yeah. i guess i'm attracted to him. i met him at the white house correspondents' dinner and i took a picture and it's just like fogged up. you [ laughter ] >> jimmy: as long as you don't meet him when you're driving it will be okay. so i think this is the first year, and correct me if i'm wrong, that you guys did not win the emmy for best comedy, right? >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: now, how did you -- was that strange? >> well, we were -- i don't think we were really thinking we were going to win. >> jimmy: but you guys say that every year. and i think you believe it. every year you go this year we're not going to win. and then you win year after year after year. >> we were very lucky. we won five years in a row which we tied the record and this year if we would have won we would have broken the record. but "veep" won and "veep's" a very funny show and there's a great competition. but at the end of the production of the show we didn't win. so we weren't up on stage. so we all kind of like found ourselves looking at each other realizing we didn't know how to
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get out of the building not winning. [ laughter ] so i was like, look for kimmel. they never win. follow them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whenever i can leave i'm happy to leave. >> no, but it was embarrassing because we're like -- >> jimmy: tell me about it. >> it's really hard getting out of there not going -- >> jimmy: i know! [ laughter ] eric stonestreet, everybody. "modern family" tomorrow night 9:00 on abc. we'll be right back with rose [ cheers and applause ] that's a first-rate queso dip this lost in years (gps) recalculating shortest route do i really look like this? never seen this one before you taste so good i like it.
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there had to be people willing to take on the world's greatest challenges, whatever they might be. only tactics and strategy, we make battle plans and in medicine, our next mission could be anything.
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[ cheers and applause ] we are back. from jewel. oh, i forgot to mention that eric stonestreet will be at the improv olympic west on saturday night and every second saturday october, november, and december doing a live improv show. so if you want to go see him and [ applause ] our next guest tonight has a remarkably diverse resume by any standard. she played a young xena warrior princess, the yellow power
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ranger, tinker bell, a nurse on "masters of sex" and now a brain-eating, undead medical assistant on "izombie." it airs tuesdays at 9:00 on the cw. please welcome rose mciver. [ cheers and applause ] well, for a zombie you look very, very healthy. you're definitely on the healthy end of the zombie spectrum. >> thank you. i've been taking my supplements. >> jimmy: and on the show also you don't look like a zombie. >> we've tried to make kind of a glamorous zombie. or the more glamorous end. >> jimmy: what is with this accent? what's going on here? >> i'm a fraud. you caught me. yeah. i'm a new zealander. i've lived out here for a -- >> jimmy: oh. welcome to our nation. [ laughter ] >> thank you. thank you all. very hospitable. >> jimmy: did you get into movies because so many movies are made there in new zealand? >> yeah, there's a lot of stuff made in new zealand. when i was about 3, i was in "the piano." i was a glorified background extra in "the piano." and i was a little angel.
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so that was kind of my start. but i remember one of my earliest memories was desperately needing to go to the toilet on that production and be like, oh, my gosh, and having to cross my legs. and i was in a school play in the film. i'm in a school play sxpt a.d. . and the a.d. came up to me and was like that's very cute, use it. and i was like 3. i thought is it always going to be like this? >> jimmy: use it. >> yeah. i look back and that was one of my formative memories. >> jimmy: that movie won the oscar, didn't it? courtesy of my -- >> jimmy: yeah. you were an angel in that movie. on this show as a zombie it's i comic book first. you eat the brain of a person that is dead to stay alive, and then you take on that person's characteristics. >> can you imagine what it was like talking about this before the first season was out? trying to explain this pitch to anyone. we call it a romcom zomdram. it's a romance comedy zombie drama.
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it's also procedural but -- >> jimmy: the guys on the set must have been so happy with themselves when they came up with rom com zom dram. there was probably a parade. >> yeah. >> jimmy: rom com zom dram. but it is a rom com zom dram. >> on a more serious note, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and in a way you're playing -- even though you're playing the same character every week you're playing a different character every week. >> yeah. it's sort of the fantasy. when you're little and you think i want to put on these outfits and be a different character each week. but it's also terrifying because each time i eat a brain i take on a new set of characteristics. sometimes it's accents and sometimes it's gymnastics. there's been all sorts. there's been cheerleaders and -- a real housewife this season, which is quite something. >> jimmy: which city? >> seattle. >> jimmy: oh, seattle. a real housewife from seattle. >> here's the thing. >> jimmy: and did you feel like -- well, i guess for you that would be an accent. for us there isn't really a seattle accent.
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it's pretty neutral. >> yeah. that's less of an accent on that one. i'm trying to get them to get a new zealander, you know, i eat the brain of a new zealander so i can use my natural -- >> jimmy: you take the week off basically. >> exactly. put my feet up. jfrpt it's like freaky friday every week for you on that show. >> it is. >> jimmy: that's kind of fun, i guess, isn't it? >> it's amazing. i mean, sometimes i get to eat the brain of a magician in one of these episodes, which is pretty special. >> jimmy: they have the most delicious brains. yeah. they really do. [ laughter ] >> they do. >> jimmy: so then you learn to do magic tricks. >> and i actually decided that if it's okay with you i'd like to show you a magic trick. >> jimmy: well, i've never turned that down before in my life. so yes, go ahead. i did notice that there was a deck of cards. >> just a regular -- >> jimmy: how do we do this? >> i will use this deck of cards but first i want you to use your imagination. i need you to fantasize. i need you to think about -- here's a deck of cards. >> jimmy: that's not what i'm fantasizing about. [ laughter ] all right. >> i want you to spread them all out face up. >> jimmy: should i open it? are they undone --
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if you'd take them out of the packet. zbl >> jimmy: ooh. they're heavy. >> they're special magic ones. >> jimmy: there's naked dudes on these cards. oh, spread them out like that. >> so they're all face up? >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] >> are there any other assistants available? >> jimmy: all right. there they are. okay. >> i want you to choose one numbered card. any numbered card. between 2 and 10. any suit. >> jimmy: i got it. >> take it out, turn it over, and put it back in the pack. >> jimmy: see how good i am at this? >> you're a natural. so they're all face up and one card is face down. >> jimmy: right. >> i want you to tell us in the audience what card you've chosen. >> jimmy: it's a 4 of clubs. >> the 4 of clubs. unusual choice but -- >> jimmy: i'm an unusual guy. >> well, luckily, i actually predicted what you were going to choose. backstage in the dressing room before i even got to sit with you i have a deck of cards in my hand that i have imaginically
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what card did you say it was? >> 4 of clubs. >> would you be surprise if in this deck there's one upside down card and it's the 4 of clubs? >> jimmy: i'd be furious if it isn't. >> what i love is a no pressure environment. face up, face up, face up. this seems too good to be true. >> jimmy: why? come on. >> would you do me a favor? >> jimmy: it's the 4 of clubs, everybody. come on. how do you do that? [ applause ] that's a really good trick. >> if the acting gig doesn't work out. give this back. >> jimmy: you'll be in vegas. maybe you can jump in for >> okay. else. >> houdi nachlt. >> jimmy: siegfried and rose. it works. it's beautiful. rose mciver. watch her on "izombie" tuesday nights on the cw. we'll be right back with jewel.
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eric stonestreet, rose mciver apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him, much to the dismay of his schoolmates. but "nightline" is next. before that, though, this is her book. it is called "never broken." and this is her album. it's called "picking up the pieces." here with the song "here when gone," jewel. [ cheers and applause ] i am a woman i'm alone traces of palm lay across my skin an invisible map
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it's a dry road to idaho a thirsty tongue across the land and soil so dry it could swallow an entire man i took the first road out of town hoping you were just skin deep but i feel you like some sort of phantom limb beside me when i sleep 'cause you are here when gone you're here when gone you are here when gone
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i watch another gray day unfold its dusty wings sometimes i wish my heart were more like rocks and stones and things sometimes i wish my heart were not like flowers at all that way i would not get butterflies when you call and your absence undermines the landscape because it's incomplete without your body like a pillar holding up the sky my skin thirsty for your touch there's no use wondering why 'cause you are here when gone you're here when gone
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you're here when gone and some birds abandon the nest ' cause the instinct is too strong to fly sometimes i feel like abandoning my guitar and my books i'm afraid that i know why i'm afraid that i know why 'cause you are here when gone here when gone you are here when gone here when gone you're here and gone you are here you are here here and gone
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