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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 8, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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jeb: cut taxes. grow america. right to rise usa is responsible for the content of this message. and now, abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, lena dunham, from "scandal" darby stanchfield. "this week in unnecessary censorship," and music from don henley with cleto and the cletones. and now, not only that, here's
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i'm blown away, i really am. i think we have a great show for you tonight. first i want to mention something. i think it's kind funny. it's nobel prize week. that's not the funny part. the nobel prize for literature was given out today. tomorrow they award the nobel price prize for peace. they don't let the nominees know they're nominees. they wait 50 years before they reveal that information. not a joke. they really do. apparently the way they let a win carry know they won is they call them on the phone and say, "you won." a guy from the royal swedish academy of sciences makes the call, sometimes depending on where the winner lives, in the
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middle of the night. they say a lot of the winners, half the winners when they pick up the phone, don't believe it, they think it's a prank call, and they hang up. i tell you something, if someone with a foreign accent called me up in the middle of the night, my first thought would be guillermo guillermo. [ laughter ] my second thought would be that my daughter's been kidnapped and i have to get in touch with liam neeson. [ laughter ] but then after that, i would be suspicious. but here's a quick tip if you have a television show, you work at a car rental place, maybe an arby's, you get a call saying you won the nobel prize? probably a prank, probably not real. isn't it funny though that these men and women who are biochemical, thermo nuclear engineering geniuseses, also have a-hole friends that would potentially call them and trick them into thinking they won the nobel prize. fy had any smart friends i'd call to tell them they won the
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which is probably why i don't. hey, donald trump, he made a strong bid for the nobel prize for peace today. he is in las vegas. island casino. nice. where he proved once and for all that he does indeed have the his hispanic vote. >> where are you from? >> i'm from colombia! >> this is a setup? did i ever meet you before? huh? >> i'm hispanic and i vote for mr. trump! we vote for mr. trump! yes! mr. trump! we love you! we love you! on to the white house! trump! trump! >> you're beautiful, thank you. >> thanks. >> thank you, sweetheart, thank you.
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be careful. great, that's so great. never met her before, she's amazing. >> jimmy: what was he doing? [ cheers and applause ] hands up. then he had his hands back down here. it was like the same pat schwarzenegger gave his maid before all hell broke loose. [ laughter ] this is an idea from argentina that's threatening to spread to the united states. there's an event company that specializes in fake weddings. like the one kim kardashian had with that basketball player? the idea is many young people don't want to get married but they do want a wedding so the company puts on a fake ceremony and a fake reception. it's great for people who don't want to get married but do want all the logistical hassle and cost of getting married. what kind of a thing is it? i don't like going to weddings for people who actually are getting married, i can't imagine
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rsvp for fake weddings. there are already weddings for people who don't want to get married, they're called weddings. okay? things would be very different if i was in charge. [ cheers and applause ] i'm not just a host of a show. in the daytime i also preside over a courtroom. it's kind of like "judge judy" without the judy part but the cases are real. we went to small claims court, found real litigants, persuaded them to let their cases be heard about i me, judge james. >> the manufacture mike mckay. he claims the defendant gene stillic did a subpar job replacing the engine in his classic car. when his automobile would not go fast he was furious. he's suing for $5,000. this is the defendant. gene intestine stinic. he claims he replaced the engine
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four years ago and its failure after 100,000 miles is due to engine pump failure caused by the plaintiff. it's the case of the little engine that couldn't. hand. >> what you are about to witness is real. the participants are not actors, they're actual litigants with a case pending in civil court. both parties have agreed to drop their claims to have their case decided here by judge james. >> guillermo: do you swear on this stack of oprah magazine to tell the truth, the whel truth, nothing but the truth so help >> i do. >> i do. >> guillermo: okay, rise for judge james. >> jimmy: opia? mistake. >> jimmy: all right. >> guillermo: sit down in the courtroom. the lit ats --
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>> guillermo: the litaments are blessing your honor. >> jimmy: the litaments are? >> guillermo: the litaments are swear in your honor. >> jimmy: oh, the litaments are >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: michael mckay, you are the plaintiff, you are suing gene stinnet for $5,000 because you claim he knowing you sold you an engine he'd ruined, correct? >> yes. >> jimmy: mr. stinnet, you claim you replaced the engine four years ago and you're not at fault for whatever problems the engine may have now. >> correct, yes. >> gene i've known about seven years. in the antelope valley he has a strong name for building engines. his son has been in national magazines along with gene. you'll see his name on the front here. >> guillermo: you see his name on the front here. >> jimmy: okay. >> and in the articles his son gives credit to his dad for him
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learning how to build niece thnlg engines. >> jimmy: sounds like mike is a big fan. >> he and i were great friends about seven years. >> jimmy: you're not now? >> no. >> jimmy: why? >> because of all i've been through. as i talked to him about putting a new engine in the car he said, i'll build you an engine. the first day we got the car -- as soon as i pulled out, the oil gauge was bouncing around, around 30 pounds. i went home, called gene, told hill, gene, something's wrong with the oil pump. he says, there's not a thing wrong. he blew up. i know every screw, every bolt, i used to drag race a lot of years -- >> jimmy: drag racing when is you race dressed as a woman? >> pardon? no, no, no. >> jimmy: gene, what happened? why didn't you go check it out? >> i knew it wasn't the oil pump, your honor. >> jimmy: thanks for calling me your honor by the way, i appreciate it, that's nice. >> guillermo: very nice. >> jimmy: it is nice. you knew it wasn't the oil pump why? >> because we had tested it on the stand and it held up
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perfect, 60 pounds. if you look at the specs from general motors -- >> jimmy: guillermo, do you understand any of this? >> guillermo: no, but i want did use the restroom. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> guillermo: this is boring. >> your honor, i represent speed rodders, that car has been to numerous schools -- >> jimmy: what is the program street rodders against drugs? >> i take the car to schools, talk to kids, say instead of getting involved in drugs, spend money on a car, build a car. >> jimmy: you realize that maybe you made a mistake and maybe drugs would have been a better idea? >> well -- >> jimmy: right, gene? >> that's right. >> jimmy: is it true, mr. stinnet, that you tried to sell mr. mckay's son drugs? >> never. i don't deal in that, i've never had a drug in my life. >> jimmy: you want to get high after the show? >> i don't think so. >> i did want to say one thing, though.
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the oil problem started the very first day i drove it. >> jimmy: you've got a banana in the bathroom? >> guillermo: yeah, i was hungry. >> jimmy: will you get me all that stuff, folders and everything? >> guillermo: hold the banana for me. >> jimmy: i will. i apologize for the bailiff. very unprofessional. >> guillermo: all this? that's it? >> jimmy: you brought a lot of stuff, huh? >> some of it is my street rodders against drugs. when i do those shows this is what i hand all the kids out. and they color it all in. >> jimmy: guillermo, bring that stuff over here. so the kids then color this in and then they don't do drugs? >> guillermo: hey, your honor, what the [ bleep ] happened to my banana? >> jimmy: you can't use >> guillermo: sorry. what happened -- >> jimmy: your honor, your banana is what happened. go back to your spot. did you wash your hands after the bathroom? >> guillermo: yeah, i did. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> jimmy: i'm going to my chambers, take a nap --
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>> guillermo: can you bring coffee? >> jimmy: no, i cannot. when i return i'll rule on this case. >> i have something i wanted to say. >> jimmy: we'll talk again when i come back. hold on to your parts. >> will judge james rule the plaintiff is entitled to damages regardless of his sunglasses? or will he rule in favor of the defendant who's almost asleep? judge james' verdict when we return. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, the dramatic conclusion to this episode of "judge james." plus "this week in unnecessary censorship" too. stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] centrum brings us the biggest news... in multivitamin history. a moment when something so familiar...
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. lena dunham, darby stamp field, way. it's time for justice to be meted out. we rejoin the case in progress to the thrilling conclusion to "judge james." >> this drug-free daredevil dad claims he bought a bad motor [ bleep ]. and this grandpa wishes he was judge james is about to rule. let's listen. >> jimmy: gentlemen, you both seem like very nice guys. you both seam seem like earnest guys -- >> i had one thing i wanted to say, your honor. >> jimmy: what was that? >> guillermo: oh my god! >> this is the problem, it really was -- >> jimmy: listen, i don't know anything about cars. i'm totally confused. i'm bored. >> guillermo: me too. >> jimmy: starting to get hungry. >> guillermo: me too. >> jimmy: what i'm mostly concerned about is your friendship. that's i think what needs to be re-established here.
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so i know that you're the defendant, you're not actually suing for an amount of money. i know you are suing for an amount of money. what i would like to do is give each of you $2,500 on the condition that you kiss each other in this courtroom. do you accept this? >> no. >> jimmy: what about a hug? >> i -- >> jimmy: mr. mckay, i would advise you this would be a very wise move. >> i would like -- >> jimmy: no, i don't want to hear about it. hear that. >> jimmy: i want to see you two would. i think that maybe this was some things wrong with the engine, maybe you would driving mr. stinnet crazy. i think that you need to get back to your work getting kids off drugs with cartoons and stuff. >> that don't fix it. >> jimmy: what doesn't? >> $2,500. >> jimmy: how much would fix the engine? >> basically $3,000. the engine's shot --
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god's sake? and i'm going to keep on loving you cause it's the only thing i wanna do i don't want to sleep i just want to keep on loving you >> jimmy: i rule in favor of everybody. >> all right, judge james has rendered his verdict. let's talk to the litigates. the defendant, you were awarded $2,500. just basically to hug the plaintiff. and you weren't asking for money. how does that feel? >> no. that was excellent, you know. >> sal: to celebrate the verdict will you and your wife be making sweet, sweet love tonight?
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all right, all right. now we have the plaintiff. the plaintiff was awarded $3,000. congratulations. >> thank you. >> sal: do you have a message for our children out there, for kids? >> stay away from drugs. here's a good example of a guy that never did drugs. >> sal: all right, good job. he's going to be a total stoner. >> on the next "judge james" -- >> what is a pre-prom champagne party? >> the whole thing was tacky. >> she said $600, it was like $6. >> jimmy: who's this naked person? >> should be no one on that phone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: inside like a lambskin glove. one more thing. it's thursday night which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not, it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> -- off the charts, mets fans should be [ bleep ]ed up. could this be the year? >> baseball needs a [ bleep ] in
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>> how many marshmallows can [ bleep ]? >> a sad, sad story. [ bleep ]ing another [ bleep ]. >> ever had the desire to [ bleep ] on an airplane? >> i went out with a cop. >> what does that mean? lot. you. >> you and peyton manning came in together. manning? >> that would be great to get my hands on one of peyton's balls. >> i'm going to [ bleep ] you gently from behind. >> the whole [ bleep ] in there and it was coming out. news. >> all month long in the kitchen, we've renamed it [ bleep ]-tober. >> holy [ bleep ] you won $10,000! >> rubbing [ bleep ] like this will warm it up in no time!
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harder. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from don henley, darby stamp field is here, be right back with lena dunham so stay with us! [ cheers and applause ] so we' re celebrating by offering you over 20 delicious choices starting at $9.99. like our new homemade chicken pomodoro sauce, creamy pesto alfredo and toppings like crispy chicken fritta. soup or salad and breadsticks. hurry it' s all never ending a limited time. 20 years of never ending pasta bowl, over 20 choices starting at $9.99. at olive garden. re all family here. breadstick lovers, your new favorite lunch is here,
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show.
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tonight, from "scandal," darby stanchfield is here. then later, his new album is called "cass county," don henley from the samsung outdoor stage. next week, we have quite a lineup of stars including kirsten dunst, taraji p. henson, nathan p. fillion, justin theroux, nathan fielder, matthew fox, scott foley. music from bury ring, byron bowers, father john misty, and duran duran. so please join us. our first guest tonight is more hyphenated than jennifer love-hewitt, joseph gordon-levitt and malcolm-jamal warner combined. she's the star-writer-creator-producer of "girls" on hbo, the author of this "new york times" bestseller. "not that kind of girl," which comes out in paperback october 20th. and she has a new weekly newsletter called "lenny" at lennyletter.com, please welcome lena dunham.
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>> jimmy: it's great seeing you, you seem to comfortable in those high heels. i thought you were going to tumble onto the floor. >> it's really problematic. i keep feeling like if anyone's going to change up the industry standard and say no, i'm going to wear flats, it should be me. >> jimmy: it should be you. >> i can't do it. >> jimmy: it won't be you. i say to am to my wife. she says, they're so uncomfortable. i say, stop wearing them, you don't have to wear them. >> you wife doesn't look like a limping baby elephant. i've seen your wife move across the room in high heels and it's not a shame. >> jimmy: still end of the night they hurt. then they say, we don't wear them for men, we wear them for each other or whatever. >> that's a lie. >> jimmy: that's a lie? >> that's a high. if i was trying to dress up for girlfriends i'd wear a cute loafer. this is for the men in the audience. >> jimmy: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for suffering on our behalf. >> thank you.
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>> jimmy: we appreciate it. >> i appreciate it. >> jimmy: i really do. >> i've just said some of the most unfeminist public dialogue in my life -- >> jimmy: what you said is true, it doesn't matter if it calls into an "ist" category. >> thank you so much. season. >> thank goodness it's thursday. >> jimmy: thank goodness it's thursday. murder." you're a big fan of "scandal." did you decide to be on and they you? >> i offered myself to shonda multiple times and then finally there was something that was appropriate for me. which was this role of a whore who gets murdered. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you think shonda said, i've got the perfect thing for you! we have a whore that gets murdered! >> i think, we have a humorous and sexually free young woman with a long monologue, would you like to join us? before she had even formally made an offer i'd rearranged my plans, warned everybody in my
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life, and was on the next plane before. they basically had to give me the job at that point because i'd made such a deal of out of rearranging everything in my life to accommodate it. >> you watch every week. >> yeah. >> jimmy: does it all ruin it to see yourself on the show? take you out of the fantasy >> it was definitely one of these things is not like the other one moment. it was definitely like i looked and i was like, quinn. it's quinn. it's darby stanchfield. it's olivia pope. there's this weird girl creeping in with a wig. let that slide. >> jimmy: huck is slitting her throat? >> i was excited because in the first draft huck didn't murder me, somebody else did. i don't know if -- by the way, i'm literally more afraid of speaking words shonda hasn't permitted me to speak than if barack obama shared a secret with me. like, i truly want to appease her. if i shared a secret, shonda, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: i wouldn't worry about it because you're not coming
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cut off. >> 100% true. >> jimmy: did it upset you at all to watch your throat be slit? >> i loved it. it was one of the most fun i've ever had -- they had this tube that went up the back of my sweater and then shot blood. there was a guy like five feet from me this way with a cord. the minute that i pretended to die, blood came spurting out of this contraption in my neck. thing. i will tell you my father's never watched the episode, they finds it too upsetting. >> oh, he does, yeah. that's good, i think. >> i think so. i was like, is this just an excuse to not stay caught up on what i'm doing? a convenient excuse for you? >> jimmy: did your mother watch the show? >> yeah, mom and sibling grace came over to watch the show with me. i was like, we're going to have a "scandal" party, it's going to be cozy. i'd also been instructed to live tweet by shonda rhimes to the united states of america. so i got really frustrated because they were talking so much and interrupting my ability to understand what was happening in the show.
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to live tweet it properly. >> jimmy: they were talking throughout? >> screaming their heads on of. you can't expect to watch your own murder with your jewish mother and have her be silent, that's not going to happen. a couple of times they were critical of my acting. "that was the moment where it was hannah, less like this character." "we could tell that you were not in it." i was like, thank you for your feedback. this is yes invited you over and ordered you this lavish chinese meal. >> jimmy: speaking of han na, you're finished with the season >> season five. >> jimmy: you went to japan this season. is that something you just decided i would like to go to japan so i'm going to write into the show? >> my producing partner said i would like to go to japan so i'm going to write it into the show. fulfillment. it's hard to talk about what we did in japan because so many of the places we went correspond directly with plot points. >> jimmy: i'm wondering why you went to japan. don't ruin it. >> you're going to feel -- i hope it's going to be satisfying
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for everyone. i will say that. i got a urinary tract infection in japan. >> jimmy: you or hannah? >> i did. hannah didn't come. >> jimmy: hannah did not come? just so you know. >> jimmy: that's a switch. congratulations on that. i guess that's not a good thing. >> i got a urinary tract infection. it was the best medical care i've ever received. >> jimmy: you went to the doctor? >> yes, he was incredible. usually when you go to the doctor, for the ladies out there, or the gentlemen, some gentlemen also have urinary troubles. you pee in a cup, then you have to write your name on it, leave it on the counter, everyone's looking at you handling your own urine. in japan where they think of everything, you pee into a cup and there's a tiny cabinet fit for a tiny urine cup, you put it in, someone scuttles in, takes your urine and goes. you never have to face the embarrassment of handing off your urine to another human being. >> jimmy: on the other side of the wall? >> you go in, put it in the cabinet.
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they go in, take it out of the cabinet, they go out. sapporo. it was incredible. usually the doctor's like -- you lots of questions. i was like, i believe i have a urinary tract infection. the doctor's like, i believe you too but pee in a cup just in case. probiotics at the same time. instead of telling me, go find probiotics, he gave me printed-out images of both pills lest i confuse them. put it all in an unmarked plastic plastic bag. this is the best place i've ev had a uti. i've been all over the world. >> jimmy: where's the worst place you've ever had one? >> the worst was germany. >> jimmy: what? i would think it would be completely opposite. i would think the germans would be great at having utis. [ laughter ] >> the communication with the doctor was bad. and it's not because i'm jewish. [ laughter ] it's because the doctor was just -- the doctor was like a
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and her english wasn't great. and i had taken -- this is great tv fodder. i'd already taken the pill that kind of starts to soothe it that makes your urine bright orange but i hasn't been able to express to her i'd taken the pill. i pee, hand it to her, aargh! the crazyist color. we started off on a bad foot, it just got worse. >> jimmy: you should write a guide book of great places to have a uti around the world. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this could be a really unique travel guide. >> to be honest, at this point, i'd bring my own medication. japan was kind of a fluke in that regard. >> jimmy: that's why you're on top of everybody else. lena dunham, everybody. we'll be right back!
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tt4watv#`8d " gzt& ]?@ tt4watv#`8d " hnt& m1, tt4watv#`8d " iztq 'xt tt4watv#`8d " jntq 5(4 tt4watv#`8d " lzt& -eh it is time to deal with skyrocketing out-of-pocket costs. commentator: the 32-year-old head of a pharmaceutical company raised the price of a life-saving drug overnight by 5,000%. i'm announcing a detailed plan to crack down on these abuses.
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commentator: he may be lowering it after hillary clinton blasted him out of the water. her plan would limit the out-of-pocket costs that consumers have to pay. clinton: nobody in america should have to choose between buying the medicine they need and paying their rent. i'm hillary clinton, and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with lena dunham. this is her book "not that kind of girl." it is in paperback and there's bonus material in the paperback version. >> two new essays have been added. >> jimmy: written by you. a very funny book. this newsletter you've started seems very old fashioned to me. >> it's an e-mail newsletter. we don't print it out at kinko's and send it to everybody. >> jimmy: even e-mail is old fashioned nowadays. >> it is. we liked that it was an intimate format. jenny and i liked the fact that we're reaching you in your inbox. you don't have to come to us, we're coming to you to talk to
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you about women's issues. >> jimmy: right. i know. somebody needs to explain them >> i know. >> jimmy: i lettered a lot about utis tonight, for instance. >> we can help. we have a regular feature. firstly the e-mail thing, my family literally can't figure out how to sign up for it. no one's ever been more >> is that right? come. i'm like, you had to sign up. it wasn't like you thought about it and it was going to appear. then i tried to sign them it but they had to chick a verification link which none of them seem to be able to do. i have a tool that lets me see if you're signed up. >> jimmy: you do, wow. where does one get such a tool? >> you get when it you become an internet entrepreneur. >> jimmy: wow, i've got to get one of those things. >> we have a regular column that we do with planned parenthood called rumors i heard about my body in which we talk about misconceptions that smart women may have about their reproductive systems. and we have a lot of articles about political figures. and i interview, we have
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>> horoscopes? you have a horoscope writer? >> melissa ryder. >> jimmy: i feel like pisces is going to have a great positive day today? she's a poet. she's channeling. >> jimmy: that helps, okay. >> channels. she does her astrological research and figures out what she's read and translates it into a message for you. >> jimmy: do you believe in that stuff? >> so much. horoscopes, psychics, mercury's been in retro grade, if your technology's failing that's what's going on. >> jimmy: you believe in psychics and mercury in retro grade? i find that hard to believe. >> i felt its effects. a psychic told me when i was going to meet my boyfriend. >> jimmy: and? >> i met mill. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how quickly did you meet him? >> she said i was going to meet him in april and i met him in april. i'm like, should i keep going out with this guy? she's like, no, end it,
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someone's coming in april and he plays music. >> jimmy: this seems dangerous. >> i see him in a corner and he's laughing and laughing and laughing. and they laughs a lot. >> jimmy: somebody's coming in april and he plays music. do you go on ticketmaster to see who might be -- >> you'd think i would be obsessively looking around for men with guitar cases but i forgot about it. then i listened -- sometimes the psychic will let you tape the session. i heard it and like cold chills went down my body because of the truth of it all. >> jimmy: wow. >> it's been a part of my family. my mom who's otherwise an extremely practical woman has always had a relationship with psychics. >> jimmy: my mother does that too. >> does she really? >> jimmy: i was upset because i learned that she was giving the woman money. she said, no, she's not a regular job. and i said, oh, what is her regular job? she said, she works at pizza hut. >> no! it's like they've got to do something. it's hard to make a living on your psychic abilities because of skeptics like you. >> jimmy: tell me about it. it's great to see you.
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sign up for the newsletter. lena will know if you haven't signed up. she's got that ability. >> i have a tool that lets me know. >> jimmy: lena dunham. "not that kind of girl" comes out in paperback october 20th. be right back with darby stanchfield! we are a marketing research company so i need to collect your phones so you can't post pictures. [screams] okay, how does it feel to not be connected? my chest hurts. well let me give you your phones back. [laughing] let me show you a better way to keep connected. the 2016 chevy cruze offers built in 4g lte wi-fi that connects up to seven devices. so this thing puts out its own signal? yes. what?
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i guess i need... golf... lessons? yes you do! [ka-boom!] that looks rad. whatever you need, whenever you need it, check yelp first.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fill to come, don henley. earlier tonight here on abc our next guest told the white house press corps that the president of the united states probably did it with olivia pope who plays the press secretary on "scandal" thursday nights on abc. please welcome darby stanchfield. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: your walking is stronger than lena's walking was. >> i've had a lot of practice on "scandal." my high heels are almost five inches. >> jimmy: you were zipping around tonight especially on the episode. >> yes. >> jimmy: i saw it this afternoon, 80 hours in one week
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>> jimmy: it's sacrifice, it must be made. do you have a fun when you have a guest star who's a fan of the show? >> yes. lena dunham was nominated for an emmy. i think she won that year. she was being interviewed on the red carpet and they asked her, what are you watching on tv? she said, i am a huge "scandal" fan. i'm a gladiator and that's how -- >> jimmy: you run into fans that are famous, that's surprising? >> i do. i met doc rivers. >> coach of the clippers. >> yes. and i was so excited. >> jimmy: were you really? are you a basketball fan? >> huge nba fan. nba across the board. but i fell in love with him when he was the celtics coach. he actually sort of had me turn away from the l.a. lakers. it was like a toss-up for me. when i saw him i was like, doc rivers, you're one of the best coaches in the nba! and he said, abby, it's abby! and i was like, you watch "scandal"? he's like, yes, everybody in the
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>> jimmy: that is true, a lot of guys in the nba watch "scandal." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not kidding, a lot of guys, i know that for a fact. you're from alaska? >> i was born in kodiak, alaska. a small fishing village. moved to dutch harbor when i was about 7 years old and lived there until almost the end of high school. >> jimmy: the only thing i know about kodiak is that the chewing tobacco is from there. >> the kodiak bear. >> jimmy: and the kodiak bear, that's right. >> yes, that's big. >> jimmy: you go up there. do people go crazy when you come back home? >> you know, i hadn't been back to kodiak, alaska, until this last summer. i hadn't been back in think years. and i got approached by this peter greenburg. he was shooting a documentary series on discover america. and there were like -- they look for a celebrity to help you tour the state that they're filming. it was basically between me and sarah palin. >> jimmy: you have to be from the state?
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and "scandal" is a little -- so i got to go. and so it was this really amazing itinerary of like, you know, fishing and bear watching and drinking water out of a glacier and helicopter rides. >> jimmy: are these things you'd done before? when you lived there? >> most of the things i had not done. i'd done fishing. when we got to kodiak, i got a message on my facebook page that said, hi, i'm fru, i'm a huge gladiator, and the mayor of kodiak wants to give you the key to the city. >> jimmy: right. now, this is something that you brought along here. >> i did. >> jimmy: you did bring along. how does this work when the mayor gives you the key to the city? >> well, i thought that this message on my facebook was a crazy person. you know. there was a direct phone number. and i thought, well, i'm not going to answer this.
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the airport. and she is a huge "scandal" fan and found out about it, so she coordinated this whole thing. she really gladiated the situation. the mayor ended up coming to the very last day, the very last scene we were filming in this rainstorm on pillar mountain. and we were filming like a dinner scene, a popup dinner scene. she had to stand in the rain under a small tent. she was very mad. >> jimmy: she was mad? >> she was mad. yeah. >> jimmy: she was a madiator? why was she mad? >> i mean, i think maybe she was, you know -- maybe she was thinking it would go a different way. >> jimmy: i see. >> but we had to film our documentary. and this was -- it wasn't the top of the list. >> jimmy: right. >> so she was there with the cook. in that little tent while we were with the candle-lit dinner and champagne. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> then she comes over at the end of the shooting and she hands me -- we have it on tape.
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she hands me the key. >> jimmy: this is the key to the city of kodiak. >> kodiak, alaska. >> jimmy: it's not bad looking by the way. >> there's the kodiak bear. you to? >> you know, i don't know. i'm not sure what it opens. but if you have to see on the back -- this is the kodiak bear. to the city? anyone we know of? >> there's a -- wait. there's something really important you have to see. on the back of this it says www.key s www.keytothecity.com and there's a 1-800 number. key to the city. >> yeah, if you want to order one you probably could call them up. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> get your own made. >> jimmy: that kind of ruins it. >> i know, yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: you're going to use this to open the door and there's going to be a whole bunch of other people in there. well, congratulations, i guess. >> thank you. >> jimmy: basically you got like
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$23 is what happened. >> jimmy: this is probably real gold? >> i would hope so. >> jimmy: definitely, you wouldn't get anything less from well. business. congratulations. >> jimmy: it's cool to have a key to the city. you can fish with this. you could catch a salmon with this if you had the right stuff. >> put it on as a lure? >> jimmy: exactly. >> a very big salmon. >> jimmy: now you're thinking. darby stanchfield, "scandal" thursday nights on abc. we'll be right back with don henley! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank my guests and apologize to matt damon. "nightline" is next. "cass county," here with the song "take a picture of this,"
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[ cheers and applause ] a long long time ago when we were young and pretty we ruled the world we stopped the time we knew it all we owned this city running with the crowd carefree and proud i heard somebody say take a picture of this
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the years went rushing by in the twinkling of an eye we rolled with the changes our life we knew was gone our friends had all moved on time rearranges but on our wedding day they all came back to say congratulations take a picture of this take a picture of this then we raised a family of our own
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but now those kids have grown and gone i gave it everything i had thru the good times and the bad but now i'm down here on the floor cause i don't know you anymore yeah that's a suitcase yeah that's a ticket for a plane there's no one here to talk to no
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when you spend all your time living in the past with all those pictures that you took here's one more for the book take a picture of this this is me leaving take a picture of this this is me walking away take a picture of this take a picture of this
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