and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- melissa mccarthy, lie witness news. and one direction on hollywood boulevard. with cleto and the cletones. and now, for clarification,

>> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i did want to say something. thank you in advance for screaming every time i say the words "one direction" on the show. [ cheers and applause ] it sounds like a mountain lion got loose at the mall around here today. tonight we shut down hollywood boulevard out in front of our theater for one direction. you can see there are many thousands of people camped out since last night to see harry, liam, louis, nile. there are people in all directions. oar audience department had to threaten to cancel the show to get them to calm down.

we had no problems when we shut the street down for van halen. one direction? almost a riot. the fans are nuts. the funny thing is the dads in the crowd. there are a bunch of dads out there. let's see if we can go out there and talk to one of them. no, no dad. not a dad. that might be a dad. check out this guy right there. hi. what's your name? >> lindon. >> jimmy: is that your daughter? >> yes, this is my daughter here. >> jimmy: very good. is that girl your daughter also? >> yeah, just -- >> jimmy: she does look like you. sometimes it's easy to lose track, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: what's your favorite one direction song? [ laughter ] >> the new one. >> jimmy: the new one? when one of the guys do you think is the cutest? you can only pick one by the

way. hair. >> jimmy: okay. girls, do you love your father out with you? >> oh, yes, definitely. >> jimmy: yes, okay, good. we have something to reward you for what you are doing tonight. we are giving you a father of the year mug. and that's not all. and a $50 gift card to hooters. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: have fun. >> thank you. >> jimmy: the good news is for these dads, concert is free. anywhere else this would cost you $200. here you just have to give meth head spider-man a buck and you'll be set. guillermo, who's your favorite member of one direction? >> guillermo: all of them. >> jimmy: all of them? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: how dup mattic ic diplomatic of you. we have exciting news for one direction fans. tonight we're going to do something no band has ever done before, no band has ever had

before, welcome a new member to the one direction family. that's right. and that new member is this potato. this is a russet potato, raised in a field among many others. we bought it at ralph's. it cost 58 cents. it's a very ordinary, some might say humble vegetable. what this potato does not know is, it is about to become the most famous potato in the world. members of the paparazzi will try to take pictures of it. young girls will shriek when they see it. by this time tomorrow this potato will be on extra, access hollywood, people tv, it might be dating ariana grande. let's go to the men of one direction who are hiding in their dressing room. [ cheers and applause ] i have something i think you're going to like a lot. are you ready to meet the potato? >> bring him in. >> bring him on.

>> jimmy: guillermo? he's in there? guillermo, bring it -- there it is. wow. [ cheers and applause ] it is an awe thing potato. get to know it, smell it, hug it, kiss it what of you want to do, make it a part of your family. oh, harry's hair, that's nice. one direction, do you accept this potato as the official one direction potato? >> we do. >> we do. >> jimmy: you do, by the power vested in me by the state of idaho, i name in the one-d potato! [ cheers and applause ] make it official. if you would take a photo of that. then post it to your instagram account. give it some kind of a caption with the one-d potato potato @theonedpotato. >> looks good in black and white.

>> jimmy: we'll check to see how many likes the potato has by the end of the show. thank you very much, fellows. see you out here soon. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's one direction and their potato. make sure to follow the potato on instagram, facebook, twitter, and fiddler also which i think we made up. that's not even a real thing. these are the only official accounts for the 1d potato. any other accounts are imposters. we'll find out, check out how many likes it gets, how many followers the 1d post gets, maybe even get the potato on tinder, who knows. earlier on abc we had what they call the winter finales of our tgit lineup. next week "grey's anatomy," "scandal," "how to get away with murder" go into hibernation till february. all under the supervision of shonda rhimes. we've been showing previously unaired episodes of her very first show, shonda created a teen drama that starred of the same actors that are now on

"scandal." they only shot four episodes, we showed three, now all will be revealed in the series finale of "scandal high." >> previously on "scandal high." >> yo, yo, yo! >> you are hereby expelled. >> hey! >> hey! >> now no one's running against me. >> not so fast. good day to you >> it's finally election day at scandal high. and mysteriously, every one of hunter ulysses whitman's opponents has been i guess bell ed expelled. who would be crazy enough to take on the hunter apocalypse now? >> i'm isabel langen. can i count on your vote? >> izzy lang ham, overachiever. not only is she valedictorian, she's presently queen, captain of the field hockey team,

donates her extra hair to hairless cats. >> you met obama? >> yeah, he gave me a medal for my role in the killing of bin laden. now. so you don't embarrass yourself. >> are you going to try to have me expelled too? good luck with that. >> i didn't have anyone expelled. >> tell that to your guilty face. >> is that a guilty face? >> while izzy was #leaningin mr. pepper was #walkingout. >> mr. pepper, i brought you an apple. wanna -- bite it? >> listen, i am leaving scandal high. >> what? why? >> because of your unrelenting sexual harassment. >> you can't leave. i'm pregnant. >> that is not possible, i never touched you, we didn't even kiss. >> oh, yeah?

>> it's a minus sign. >> i suck at math! >> attention all students, it's your boy the deejay detention, yeah! you have five minutes to vote for student council, repeat, voting closes in five minutes. peace out! >> finally, the moment of truth. which oversized ego would become president of stu gov? >> the votes have been counted. and -- it's hunter with 359 votes. and izzy with zero votes. so our new student council president is hunter ulysses whitman! >> yes! i told you to quit! >> zero votes?

>> lame, she voted for herself. >> you must have as well -- >> the votes were taken fair and square. >> or were they? i found this. i found this in the trash. 400 votes for izzy. >> blind josh, i thought you were blind, josh. >> i'm not blind. i'm deaf. >> you're deaf? >> what? >> hunter ulysses whitman, you are expelled. >> it was not hunter ulysses whitman's fault. >> i thought you were deaf. >> i'm not deaf, i'm -- i'm lactose intolerant. commit this heinous act. >> then who committed it? >> it was -- the janitor! >> it's true. i did rig the election. and i got all the other

and i murdered the softball >> but why? why would you do such a thing? >> because, hunter ulysses whitman, you are my son. >> dad? >> no. mom. baby. mama i'm coming home mama i'm coming home >> i just wanted my baby to win.

mama, mama i'm coming home "scandal high." you know what they say. all's well that sends well. xoxo, shonda from shondaland. [ cheers and applause ] wow. hey, let's check in with the potato. this is not a joke. the potato has almost 50,000 likes already. it's a potato. we're going to take a break. when we come back we decided to have fun with one direction fans on hollywood boulevard with an edition of "lie witness news." we'll check back in on the potato too. stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] hi, i'd like to make a dep--

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back. we have so much to get to tonight. one direction and melissa mccarthy or the way. but let's check in with the potato first. again, you can follow it or like on it instagram, facebook, twitter. it's got -- see, almost 61,000 likes. 13,000 followers on instagram now. all right. people are following a potato. move over, kim kardashian's butt, a new star has been born. [ cheers and applause ] with all the one direction fans lined up it seeped like it would be a waste not to mess with them in some way. we went on the boulevard, asked the fans about a bunch of stuff we made up about them. again, none of what you're about to hear is true. but will that stop directioners from going along with it?

witness news." >> have you heard the news that since zayn left one direction he got a tattoo on his head that says "in zayn and the medical brain" membrane"? >> yeah. >> did you see the picture? >> i did not see the picture but i did hear about it. >> you think the tattoo is dumb? >> kind of. >> earlier harry admitted he rarely showers, only brushes his feet in the morning, hasn't changed his sheets in four years. is that acceptable behavior? >> yeah. >> would you make out with him? >> yeah. >> you'd sleep in his bed even though the sheets haven't been washed in four years? >> yeah. >> who's your favorite member? >> nile. >> you've seen his new glasses? they look great but while they look great, apparently it's said they're made of ivory from baby elephant elephants.

>> um -- uh -- i'm recently elephants. so i think that is very sad. i don't think he means any harm by it. i don't think he is doing it intentional to do anything bad. that it maybe doesn't matter? >> yes. >> earlier today p.e.t.a. said zayn gets a new uppy every week and gives it away at the end of and busted. is that right? >> i don't think it's right. at the same time, if he doesn't want the puppy, he gives to it somebody who does. there's a lot of the people who will appreciate the puppy. >> harry and liam have amazing hair. it's come out the reason they have amazing hair is they use a product with human breast milk. do you think it's right for them to take the food out of a baby's mouth to put in their hair? >> lots of women breast-feed without it going -- lots of women do not breast feed, so

that milk has to go somewhere. something. >> harry has decided he's going to shave his head to raise allergies. do you think that's a good thing for him to be doing? >> i mean, it's for a good cause. he'll be cute either way. >> what do you think of the new label that the band has the rections? that's cool. >> you'd be fine with a rectoin? >> yeah, whatever they want to call it. >> what do you think about one direction adding a potato as a fifth member of the band? >> it's not very smart. >> jimmy: that's true. she's not very smart. by the way, how is the potato doing? let see. what do we have? 70,000. the people watching at home, this show is not live, they have no idea why they're liking a potato.

potatoes are delicious. so i guess it majors perfect sense. we'll check in with one direction, we'll check in with their potato, and we'll be right back with melissa mccarthy so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: aerial coverage provided by goodyear. the tires chosen by experts for superior performance in challenging conditions. goodyear. more driven. this project calls for a real multitasker.

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welcome back. a group of super duper music stars. this is their new album, called "made in the a.m." one during the course is here -- i'll try to talk to them, i don't know if it will be possible. and play music from the samsung stage right smack dab on hollywood boulevard. and you can see one direction sunday night on the american music awards here on abc. next week, on monday night, we have a big special "star wars: the force awakens" show with director j.j. abrams, [ cheers and applause ] adam driver, daisy ridley, john boyega, carrie fisher and harrison ford. the force will be with all of us that night, it will. our first guest tonight is an emmy-winner, oscar nominee, future ghostbuster and three-term president of the one direction fan club. her next big movie, "the boss"

babysitter now. please welcome melissa mccarthy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm glad you were able to get in through the commotion here. >> it's crazy, i didn't expect a crowd for me coming here. >> jimmy: you're a movie star, that's the way it goes. >> no, can't get through. we went in 15 different ways to try to get past hollywood boulevard. they said, get out of here! >> jimmy: i'm sorry, wife sent a helicopter had i had any idea. >> it was like -- it mad me feel like i was trying to break in. >> jimmy: you brought a cousin with you tonight. >> i did, friends, a cousin,

admit little cousin who didn't know until a week ago that the one direction was going to be here when i was here. and we were somewhere, really busy, and we had kind of a scary thing happen where i just heard a gasp. and i literally thought, my god, i've got to call my aunt connie. i think it's an asthma attack. i've never known of -- we don't have asthma in the family. we've got bad tickers. we really do. i thought, she's young for this medical problems. a circle formed around her, people were looking at me like, aren't you going to do something? gasp, gasp, gasp. and at one point, this is all i saw. aah, aah, aah! i'm now weirdly going around her like, it's okay, it's okay, everything's going to be okay. i think, she's going down. wrong. then i hear, "one direction, one

direction!" my little cousin is the 27-year-old woman sitting right there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? wait a minute. >> yes. whopy the way is like the most together, valedictorian -- >> jimmy: not the most together. maybe not the most. maybe the top ten most together. >> top ten. department comment except the worst part, i was panicked. i've got to call aunt connie. her dad's going to blame me. then "one direction, one direction!" it got crazy. i'd never heard your voice like that. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> i'm jenna, hi. >> jimmy: is this true? is this account correct? >> yeah, that's pretty dead on. >> jimmy: it is, you're excited. did you get to see the guys backstage? >> i did. i had a brief encounter. i'm a big harry fan. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: harry, okay. now the whole audience hates you. >> yeah, yeah.

we had a moment. >> jimmy: you had a moment. >> i like to think. >> jimmy: did you freak out in front of harry? >> i was strangely calm. >> jimmy: you went real dead behind the eyes. [ laughter ] >> which you never do. come get in the picture! she was like, can i get in the picture? can i get in the picture? and i was like, well, you're freaking people out now, yeah. >> jimmy: jenna, did you get to meet the potato? >> you know, i witnessed you meet the potato. >> jimmy: you met the potato? >> she blocked that potato to get next to harry. >> jimmy: isn't the potato the greatest? let's see how the potato is doing here. the potato has 160,000 likes. >> i took his picture with the potato. then i heard fighting over the potato. ? your husband and you were fighting over the potato? >> then there is a man backstage with a basket cloaked with cloth

>> jimmy: that's right. >> he's very movingly carrying this potato around. >> jimmy: of course. it's part of his entourage. >> ben and i are doing bits with it and somebody's like, "you hurt that potato, there's 6,000 people out there that going to kill you." >> jimmy: how old are your daughters now? >> vivie is 8, georgie is 5. because of jenna, my 5-year-old spends a lot of time on a fake phone talking to harry. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> she seems bugged by him. >> jimmy: harry's annoying him? >> she's like, harry! i can't even hear you! i gotta go! oh, god, harry! he's driving me crazy! >> jimmy: she's literally harried. >> it's like she's on the phone with her tax attorney. daughters.

>> they are. which is something i swore we would never, ever do. and then the next thing you knew they were in it. but they -- >> jimmy: i want to ask you about that. >> it's tricky. >> jimmy: a world premiere exclusive. >> first time everton night. >> jimmy: never before seen, most of the time when we do this it's a jek, not a joke this time. melissa mccarthy's new movie "the boss." we'll world premiere it. be right back! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by slim jim. survive the zombie apocalypse with the original meat stick. snap into a slim jim today. a new world hangs

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look what i started. look at this, there it is. you know what that is? seen one. >> oh, hey. [ drumroll ] everything. >> it took a minute. >> jimmy: melissa mccarthy. as you know one direction is coming up in a couple of minutes. everyone is excited. >> exciting stuff? your movie comes out in spring, "the boss." your husband during the coursed the film. >> husband's in it. ben does a little part in it. our two girls are in it. >> jimmy: yes. >> which was -- it's like a living -- we kind of thought we

again with all these kids in it. and when they're 20, 30 years old it might be great to look back, a living photo album. >> jimmy: like home movies but they're not at home at all. >> they're not at home at all. at first, no way, we're not going to do that. they didn't seem too interested. then vivian was like, i would like to try for one part. and i was like, when you're 20, 25, you go on a thing called an audition and you can do that. she kept coming back and saying the line. >> jimmy: got hold of the script? >> she got hold of the script, which was tricky. and then she kept saying the line. she said, so can i not even try? which i said, no, i always want you to -- oh, you're good. real good. and so i would make her like -- i said, you know -- it doesn't matter if you get bored, it doesn't matter if you don't feel like it, you have to do this, it's a job. which is why you should be out running in the backyard not

she kept doing it, kept doing it. i would say, go over there spin around, say the line. every time she did it kind of great. oh, no. if people were over there, they're like, oh, no, she may be good. >> jimmy: the lead character in the movie is? >> i play michelle darnell. i'm the 47th wealthiest woman in the world who wields her power intensely. and is an incredible narcissist. and is into self-help books, copper mines. it's like one of those all across the board thing. >> jimmy: we've seen these types of people before. >> fascinated. >> jimmy: is there any real person that comes to mind? >> yes, but i can't say. it's a grouping of three women. any woman who's that put together, you know, always in like the ring and the nails. i had a real sweet spot. >> jimmy: i see, okay, all right. the trailer explains it.

it opens april 8th. >> i am the wealthiest woman in america. i wanted to come down on a golden phoenix and i did it. i run your operation. while being a single mom. >> i deserve a pay raise. >> you have a child. satisfaction sexual intercourse? >> yes. >> i never pictured her with genitals. >> you're under arrest for insider training. >> you're bankrupt. your accounts have been frozen. >> she doesn't have anywhere to go. can she stay here? >> on the sofa. >> that's temperamental. >> it's not so bad. aahh! >> take rachel to a meeting. >> our troop calm in with $189,000. >> holy -- >> this is my way back. we are going to start a brownie empire. >> what do you think you're doing? this is for dandelions.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "the boss" opens april 8th. melissa mccarthy, thank you, melissa. we'll be right back with one direction! >> dicky: aerial coverage provided by goodyear. the tires chosen by experts for superior performance in challenging conditions. goodyear. more driven. i wish i could live a little more look up to the sky not just the floor i feel like my life is flashing by and all i can do is watch and cry i miss the air i miss my friends i miss my mother i miss it when life was a party to be thrown

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>> jimmy: in their five years together they've sold more than 65 million records and broke eardrums in every country in the world. their new album "made in the a.m." is out now. please say hello to harry, liam, louie and niall -- one direction. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: all right. first of all, welcome. thanks for coming. it's great to have you guys here. every single person on my staff has said these are the nicest guys. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being so nice to everybody. there's a lot of pressure when everybody's so eager to see you all the time, they're screaming and throwing their children in your laps. and now you've got somebody to really spread the -- >> it table kes a it away. >> jimmy: the potato. >> his own chair, that's nice. >> jimmy: things are supposed to be equal. i think that was probably a blunder on our part, i take responsibility for that. you're going on hiatus in march next year. i thought it was funny that you announced that you're going on hiatus. is that just so people will leave you alone? will know to leave you alone? i think because we have done a lot of work over the years but never stopped touring. we've always carried on. it's a different thing for to us do to stop. >> jimmy: what are you going to do? do you have ideas of how you

will spend the year off that you're going to take? will probably happen. >> chilling, dude. >> jimmy: traveling seems right? >> maybe. maybe, actually. traveling. we do go to a lot of places. i think i've driven past some of the biggest monuments in the world. but never actually stopped spied them. so it would be nice to go back to them. freely, kills somewhere? >> you can't, can you. you have to. >> this guy's so recognizable. >> jimmy: for the potato. >> he blends in sometimes. thanksgiving dinner, he's great. sneaks in the back. >> jimmy: do you celebrate thanksgiving? >> in ireland? no. >> jimmy: you don't. no. >> we'll be in america this time. >> jimmy: you will be america. >> i'll cook. >> can you cook? >> i'll try.

>> we're very thankful. >> jimmy: do you know what the traditional thanksgiving meal is? >> turkey, right? >> jimmy: turkey, yes. >> yams? >> jimmy: sweet potatoes, yeah. >> with mashed? them. >> some people are like, oh, yeah. >> jimmy: what was the first time you guys came to l.a.? stars? remember. i think it was the time we did the music video was the realtime. we came before to record. we music video in malibu. >> jimmy: have you ever walked around hollywood boulevard? >> yeah. >> on that trip we did, yeah, initially. >> jimmy: will this be the dirtiest place you've ever prmed? performed? [ laughter ] >> there's more drunk superheroes than anywhere else. >> jimmy: we are number one in drunk superheroes. even from inside --

>> the superheroes change shift. >> jimmy: there are like 11 spider-men. >> scary, though. batman jumped at me. >> jimmy: do you have people asking you to sign things all the time? >> yeah. >> i can see a sharpie on your desk. >> jimmy: oh, there is a sharpie on my desk. >> and other brands are available. >> jimmy:. >> jimmy: do you have really famous people asking you to sign things for them? >> i just met your dad in the toilet. in the toilet. >> jimmy: did you really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i told my tad to stapp hang stop hanging around the toilet. did you really? was he following you in there? >> you want the details? >> jimmy: did he do that thing under the stall where he tapped your foot? >> playing footsy, yeah. it was weird. >> jimmy: can i tell you

on your birthday every year at my parents' house, my niece loves you, they have a birthday cake for you. >> you know what, that's why he was in the toilet, he wanted a picture. >> jimmy: was he really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> he's o-negative. blood type. >> jimmy: he is, you know that? my dad's blood type? >> we had a weird conversation. >> he also told me between the ages of 9 and 19 you lived in vegas. >> jimmy: yeah, that's true. >> sister's a comedian, she lives in arizona. but she's not sure. >> jimmy: wow, wow. >> jimmy: unbelievable. you see your fans range from young girls to 70-year-old men. >> it's great. >> jimmy: you're really making an impression. you're going to play on [ cheers and applause ]

the album is "made in the a.m." we'll be right back! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. tt2w`tiy@4d0 bt@q$%< tt2w`tiy@4d0 "a@q4)x tt2w`tiy@4d0 bm@q?"t tt4w`tiy@4d0" dztq %[@ tt4w`tiy@4d0" entq u_ tt4w`tiy@4d0" gzt& lxx tt4w`tiy@4d0" hnt& \v4 tt4w`tiy@4d0" iztq 6?l tt4w`tiy@4d0" jntq $o,

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over a million contributions -- people like you, who see the middle class disappearing and want a future to believe in. i'm bernie sanders, and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] i might never be your knight in shining armor i might never be the one you take home to mother and i might never be the one who brings you flowers but i can be the one be the one tonight when i first saw you

i could tell that you were curious oh yeah girl i hope you're sure what you're looking for ' cause i'm not good at making promises but if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms and if you like having secret little rendezvous if you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do then baby i'm perfect baby i'm perfect for you and if you like midnight driving with the windows down and if you like going places we can't even pronounce if you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about then baby you're perfect baby you're perfect so let's start right now i might never be the hands you put your heart in

any time you want them but that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment ' cause i can be the one you love from time to time when i first saw you from across the room i could tell that you were curious oh yeah girl i hope you're sure ' cause i'm not good at making promises but if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms and if you like having secret little rendezvous if you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do then baby i'm perfect

and if you like midnight driving with the windows down and if you like going places we can't even pronounce if you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about then baby you're perfect baby you're perfect so let's start right now and if you like cameras flashing every time we go out oh yeah and if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about baby i'm perfect baby we're perfect but if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms and if you like having secret little rendezvous if you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do then baby i'm perfect baby i'm perfect for you and if you like midnight driving with the windows down and if you like going places we can't even pronounce

you've been dreaming about you're perfect right now [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] you gotta help me i'm losing my mind keep getting the feeling you wanna leave this all behind thought we were going strong i thought we were holding on aren't we no they don't teach you this in school now my heart's breaking and i don't know what to do thought we were going strong thought we were holding on aren't we

got a whole lot of history we could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen you and me got a whole lot of history so don't let it go we can make some more we can live forever all of the rumors all of the fights but we always find a way to make it out alive thought we were going strong holding on aren't we you and me got a whole lot of history the greatest team has ever seen you and me got a whole lot of history so don't let it go we can make some more

minibars expensive cars hotel rooms and new tattoos the good champagne and private planes but they don't mean anything cause the truth is out i realize that without you here life is just a lie this is not the end this is not the end we can make it you know it you know you and me got a whole lot of history we could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen got a whole lot of history so don't let it go we can make some more we can live forever you and me got a whole lot of history we could be the greatest team