buster douglas got 19.5 million dollars, for seven minutes' work. did you see the fight? >> yup. >> did you pay for it? >> uh, no, i watched it, on a stolen signal. [ laughter ] >> you youngsters remember that, out there. [ laughter ] 's. steal the signal, uh. [ laughter ] the reporter said that buster didn't have will to win. they said he just wasn't hungry enough. of course he wasn't hungry enough. he'd eaten everything in two sta how could he be hungry? [ laughter ] nineteen mil. [ chkling ] anyway. wouldn't you gthet in , for 19 milli dollars? and takene shot-- go out? >> sure! and now, the

>> rig >> and this one, he's gonna get, uh-- 17 million bucks. ge boy, there's googood mey, in that stuff. wellthat's about it, for me. i, uh-- [ laughter ] what do i, uh-- whato ow? do i-- do i announce who's on the show? >> yes. that'd be nice. >> did you tell them? from "night court, john larroquette is with us, tonight. [ applause ] [ cheering ] i'm getting senile. of th. we're old. [ laughter ] couple of old farts is what we are. [ laughter ] >> anybody-anybody else heho >> we're yeah! sure.anyway uh-- >> do you happen to know their names? no, i don't knothe. [ laughter comedian anth-anthony griffith is with us, tonight. tonight! and-- [ applause ] and a very funny comedian, kevin pollak, is with us.

[ music ] [ applause ] oh, hello, there, folks. there it is. yes!ood to see you! yeah. >> i-i'm fully recovered, now. r >>e sh of bronchitis-- >> yeah. and it gen er ya can't r you on another one. fou't for couple o' da ihaoween. we don't have a lotta haeen stuf her brt to moffice a caed halen i member, usually, we just put a coupleye-- >> yeah. >> and you, you know-- >> very simple. >> one toothnd-- the top, and you stk a candle in it. this was sent-- and he sent it out by mail, i guess. his name is uh, mr. l-loren longard, of gen bay, onsin. you wanna seen a f says he does is--he's done abo, this year. and he sent this to us.

now you're talkin'! hat a pumpkin? >> that's a pumpkin. boy! >> yeah. [ plause ] so, thank you, mr. longard. >> that'ry nic >> tha-- i guesse can't keep it u, alrethe time, can-- well, why not? >> sure you can. >> now, ut the doe top open, anymore. heyou ss n't do that. heays you put the candle in, t u don't t the top on. >> oh. >> he t' iast longer. dries 'em ou -ho! o-ho. oh! >> now we kn some laughter ] >> takese a whe to going!>> iall righ i'm o-- >>usus. [ laughter ] i can st remember llethe show together. [ chklngil noise ] >> you dumpkin part gd. >> thank yveryuch. [ some laughter ] alright. uh.i haa birthday, ya know, since we were of that's a-- i'm sorry. i sh-- i should wish you-- >> no, no, i didn't bring it up, >> happy birthday. something.anna show yo

and it very fragile ition, and it is under-- actually, we have all right.n plastic, you to see. that is, uh,he new york herald," from october 27th, 1910. now, the reason i bring that up is for a particular reason. let me, first of all, ve you a few things that hapned, on this day-- october 27th, 1910. >> vtor herbert's "nghty marietta" premiered, in nework city. did you realize that? >> i did not. >> eigy yearago. these are some of the headlines. we can't even take this t because it's so frile. "firraged through northern minnesota, d peoe had to flee the state, along with cattle, cats,nd timbewolves." >> hmm. >> now, here's the thing i fiosresting. eighty years ago, on october 27th, itish troops landed in the persian gulf,

>> rather strange?> boy. >> very. >> but, for the people on the show, the most significant event that happened, october 27th, 1929, was the birth of a member of our staff. do you know who i'm talking about? >>aturday-- last saturday-- we weren't here, of course-- our executive prucer 80thy.ed de cordova's right ovhere. [ applause ] [ cheering ] >>ow all these years,has been drink', >> yeah-- oh, yeah.e of it. >> i find ard toelieve. i was gonna ask, uh, uh, fred to come over here, but fred doesn't really enjoy sitting here, too much, in the spo,tlight because it's, really, too far away from refreshments. [ laughter ] >> it's amazing what a life of moderation in all things can do. >> i-isn't it, though? clean li. >> yeah.

i dounnd. we di-- he didn't think we were, 'cause we faked him out. we had some other material-- >> yeah. ready, 'cause he goes through my folder, so we had to puthi phony stuff in. but we'd like to giva brief summary of fred's life in show business. and we copied down some of the more interesting-- >> mmm-hmm. hings at happened to him. september 27th, 1910-- i already told ya-- fred is born, which is nhe lastime, in his life, the'll we up, naked, in the arms of a big nurse. [ laughter ] [ some applause ] october 1925, a towin iowa, named johnny carson. fred rents a camel and brings gifts [ laughter ] [ applause ] 1927, fred ivoted class president of his school,

petelassally. [ laughter ] 1928, backstage, athe ziegfeld follies, 18-year-old fred sees his first naked woman and makes a major caer decision-- he wants to be a nak wan, laughter ]?7 plause ] 19, young fred screws up s coage d 0 a young lady for her hand. then, for her other hand. on t plane.o barf bags, [ laughter ]ter ] 1933, prohibition ends, and fred cautiously mples something he has never experienced, in his young life-- gin, without that strange bathtub ring aftertaste.

moving along to 1942-- we just can't put all e highlights in. we put the ones that we thing, uh, you will find amusing. 1942, america rs thear.fres from military service, because of his feet. they're inada. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ some cheering ] 1946, fred tries to it, in hollywood. chhustr on theake. is anmmiate success [ laughter 1951, fred dir the cult classic, "bedtime for bonzo," devising an elaborate nanas, of rewards--two and three bananas,thin?e)righ 1970-- we're--

ofthe tonighshow," gains ssness. some of these thgs you have tmo bring up. wasn are of this--- i didn't-- [ laughter ] ires an armless janitor, foentering his office without knocking. [ laughter ] [ booing ] some applause ] 1986-- inspired by alex haley, frey-- fred looks up his own roots and discovers he's so old, his ly backhim. [ laughter ] we have just a few photos-- profallyounted photos-- [ laughter ] highlights, from your career, from the hollywood archives. let's see if we can find them over here. [ laughter ] youe remembering everything. >> i'm trying to remember.[ mak] [ laughter ] in 1933, he almost enteredthe a, with his shoing,

"guywh sional dolls." [ laughter ] no one else made a war film like you did. theirs all made money, three chefs who hatched a plan to drive the nazis from their stronghold. it was called "the baked beans of navarone." [ laughter ] "bedtime for bonzo"omedies and "bonzo goes to college," he went one sequel too far, and he's a-- [ some laughter ] well, they-- fred, they didt always give you b bgets, but you did the best with what you had, ins cheae horror flick, "myron levine, [ some laughter ]" yeah, okay. [ some laughter ] this is for time, folks. and this was your last film, before joining us, here on "the tonight show--" a musical about an irregular russian dance troupe, called "fiddler on the roughage."

, ed-- [ laughter ] we wna present you with this "new york times--" this is-- this is for real, folks. it's the only-- and, tommy? uh, doc. doc. doc, of course. [ laughter ] i-i am forgetting. i am forgetting! they were right. i'm forgetting >> take your time. .hank you. >> thank you, everybody. [ applause ] ? happy birthda you ? happy birthday to you ? ?py birday dear freddy ? ? happy birthday to you ? >> yeah! [ applause ] >> yeah! wow! wow. wow. boy, what a-- [ cheering ] >> great. >> what a budget we laid out, for noisemakers. [ laughter] one roll of confetti and a cap gu bang! zoom!at'st.

you're welcome!an. uh, we wilbe back, with johlatte- i'm remembering-- y griffith,

[ music [ applause ] [ cheering ]ght. john larroquette is a talented a. he's won four emmy's, for his work on the tv ser "night court." he's also in a new motion picture called "tune in tomorrow," which, i guess, is on, as they say, in theaters near you. or not too far from you. which c-- arou corher. i dunno where they are. would you welcome arro lette? [ music ] [ applause ] >> ooh. scary. >> scary. scary. >> isn't it, though? it's a very interesting, um-- >> it's almost--nge look. [ laughter ]

>> now, actually, you could go anywher with that, and you'd be-- and kinda covered the face. >> be hard-put to recognize. oh! >> >> oh! [ applause ] >> whoa. put the mask back on. >> now take the other mask off. ! [ laughter ] happy ha-- happy halloween. >> and to yourself. >> good to see ya. i-- you were booked, uhto be here, >> yes.e weeks ago, and i-- and you fell ill. >> and i fell ill. >> which is sort of getting to be a habit, with us. i mean-- >> you talkin' about? >> happened, a couple times-- once-- least once before, that-- i must make you sick, i guess. uh-- >> are you serious? [ laughter ] gee, i'm sorry about that. 'cause i don't get sick, very often. about the longest i've been off the show, in-- for a long time, was three days. >> i get-- i get real sick. i got pneumonia, actually, a while back. >> that-that's very danger >> it is. i didn't know i had it, for sev-- my son had it. my three-year-old. >> you have what they call walking pneumonia. yes. >> you have it, and you don't know it. >> yeah, i thought it wajust the air and, uh, my-my-my aged persona was beginning to catch u with me. but, i fi-- cahtt, from my s-- my three-year-old son. >> yeah.>> he s real sick. >> i feel-- oh, i'm fine, now. >> what'd you do--what'd you us, on halloween? i came from the midwest, and i hate to admit this, after all these years,

outhouses, right? you don't see many of 'em, anymore, even in the midwest. but th-they used to have the outhouse, awrom thmain house. and kids would actuall out, on halloween, and tip them over. >> yeah. >> they thoughat was eful, they were vacant, at the time. >> yes. [ laughter ] but you always tip an outhouse over,from t back to. never from the front to back. >> 'cause you'll-- >> exactly. [ laughter] >>xactly. but, i guess-- [ ching ] >> the-the rudest thing that, uh, we used to do is, at houses that were, um-- that wouldbe ver ge >> yes. >> we would put raw oysters so, the next morning, when they'd reach in, it'd be, ya know, re slimynd-- ev.oh nice. clever stuff. >> oh, yeah. yeah. >>ow, yo uh-- i know you have to leave early, tonight. are you going out, th your children? >> um-- >> most parents should, if theids arvery young-- they should go with 'em, on trick-or-treating. h, n u i-i've gotta go to school. um, i'm, uh, taking a class, at ucla. >> graduate school, you meanhat? w [ laughter ] well, wha >> yeah, i should get my high school diploma, any day now.uhn- >> no, i mean,

>> but, it's, uh-- actually, it's hween. i'm going as a politician. see, i wrapped myself in the flag, so-- uh, no, i'm, um, taking a photo cla. >> no kidding. >> it's, uh, something, you know-- all of us take photographs, all our lives, and youonder- you get 'em back, from the-- from the place and you wonder, "how did aunt bessie's foot get into the middle hat piure? i didn't intend that." so, i thought it wime th i learned a little bit about cameras and how to take pictures-- >> that's good thinking. >> so i'm ta this,h, class, actually. i've got my homework rea for tonight, and-- >> now, what's your wh-what is your homework? >> um, we have to-- well, i-- you know what? mm >> what-- wa-- we do this- do this, first? >> you wanna go away? >> yes, uh-- >> okay. >> we're gonna go away-- but you actually have to-- they give ya homework. oh, yes. and they grade it, and everything. >> i wna see your homework. [ chuckling ] stay where you are.we'll right. [ applause ] you finally did it-and it was actually easy. who would vehoht? you did what taht you to do- you took care of business. you madeyour md.

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[ music ] [ applause ] all right, we're back. cheeri ] 're talking with john larroquette. actor and ograph.

uh, avocation? somethyou'd- you wanna be good at? >> i think, uh, with my personality, we-al at this point, an obsession. >> an ssion. >> uh, i had, uh, some grips, at, uh-- at the studio, uh, tear my bathroom art, in my dressing room, and convert it to a darkroom. so, unfortunately, i have to-- >> well, now, you're goin' the whole w >> use harry edison's bathroom, when i have to go. but it's-- i-i put everything in there-- the enlarger, chemic i-i-- it's-it's-- totally obsessed. >> you got a compuive personality. >> a-- oh, yes. >> well, l see your homework. now, you said this-- now, they told ya to go out and-- >> yeah, well, this is the first one. they-- and-and things do t . but this is the-- i-i didn't do towe i got, uh, a c-, on this one. that was a-- you know, and i printed this, myself. i-i-i, uh, developed the film. and it just didn't come out like i thought it would. laught ] see, now, i'm tryna figure-- is this artistic? am i missing something, here >> well, yeah. it's, uh, sort of my jackson ock peod. >> yes, i was-- >> this is "the son from the black lagoon," i call it. >> so,ut a-- 'bout a c-, on that. >> yeah, but this one-- lesh y >> moving ahead, here. >> the, uh-- >> the good stuff. he betr of that same-same one. but i-- >> now, this is-- >> i got it down.

and i actually got it to where it looked like, uh, a person. >> yes! that's-that's intriguing. >> that's, u jonathan larroet >> 's your-your son. >> how old is he? >> he's 13. >> okay. >> and this is my abstract periodhe. this is called, uh, "crying buddha kills a small wooden dummy." [ laughter ] uh. and, as you can see, it's, uh-- on the top, there-- >> do i ha this right, uh-- >> no, that-- [ some laughter ] >> that's fine. >> 'excuse me. i just-- >> it's ard real h tell that, but it's called "waiting for the other is the title of it. that's my-- benjamin's-- my three-year-old's sneakers, above the picture, there. >> uh-huh. >> and this little with the dart in it. and, um-- and i'll have these avlable, ee. you, in the lobby, for-- [ some laughter ] >> five dollars apiece, if youike. >> well, that's quite unusual. >> i b, that one, so. >> a b? so, you're-- >> yeah, i'm going up.>> so, yol c-come soon. >> i-- w-- yes, i would hope s >> you-you-- d'you buy lots o-of fancy, expensive eqt? >> uh, yes, unfortunately, i do. >> yot thearkroom. >> yeah. >> you bought a tractor, once, if i remember.

i just bought a ler foit, so i could haul stuff around the property, um, with it. >> have you used it? au-- uh, kubota.odid you-- can we say that? >> i dunno you said it very well. [ someghter i dunno y c say it. yeah, of course you can say it. >> it's got a biovel, in the front of it, and, uh, i can-- >> do you use it? >> very mu. yeah. absolutely. absolutely. n't even know what happened-- i was driving around my, uh-- my house-- and there's a lotta horse prer around my area. and there was a la with a stable outside her yard, w-- this big pile of horse manure. >> mmm-hmm. in it-- "fmad this sign stuck so, about 10:00 at night, i went out, with my flashlight. got on my tractor. went out, down my road, with my shovel, shoveling this horse night, manure into the, u- into my trailer, so i could put it on my garden. >> did you ask her if you co take her manure? >> no, but there's a big sign-- said "free manure," so-- >> oh, free-- i did-- you didn't say that. did hear something? yeah. yeah. >> i forgot, again. >> "free manure!" [ laughter ] >> "free manure." >> um. [ laught >> i guess i just blocke that out of my--

they're good. >> what's that litke about somebody who saw the big pile of manure-- the difference between a pessimist and an optimist? >> yeah. >> guys- one was "a big pile of manure," and the other guy says, "there's a pony under there, somewhere." [ some laughter ] something like that. it-it was something like that. >> that's close enough. >> close enough. who's keeping score? you have a picture out-- >> yes. >> natural called "tune, uh--" now, don't tell me. [ some laughter ] >> these people will be doing thatr omorrow-- >> tell me. >> the title of this. it's, uh-- >> "tune in tomorrow." >> right. >> absolutely. >> uh, it's on ad ovel. >> it's kistrang >> calle"aunt julia and the scriptwriter." yeah, it is strange. it's, uh-- peter falk plays a soap, uh, opera writer, for di in the '50's, in new orleans. and he sort of loses reality, sometime, and the film actually dissolves he lin tes of the soap chte it actually becomes the movie,f. and that's where you find me-- uh, myself, peteaghell elizabeth mcgovern. and, um, this clip, if we're gonna roll it, is-i- >> sure we're gonna roll it. >> is when-- >> what? >> things are getting-- things are getting very weird,

in the soap world. i play uncle albert, the richest brain surgeogynecologist in new orleans. [ laughter ] >> brain surgeon slash gynecologist. >>ynecologist. hyphen it. yeah, hyphen it. >> and peter gallagher and elizabeth mcgovern-- are brother and sister, right? and-and they are now pregnant. brother and sister are pregnant, and cle albert can't have this. so, at four months, to have the baby,t her so it's not a disaster to the fil >> i see. >> and we pick them up, in the operating room, while he's trying to persuade her. >> are you--foll all of this, f? well, let's see if tplaihiex it. [ music ] >> more oxygen. push, elena! push! >> i'mnly four-monthsegnant! >> i know it's a little ature, but our time is running out. le aert,d ] you're a brain surgeon. [ muffled ] >> don't worry about that, now, girl. push! push! >> elmore, thank god that awful car crash was only a dream.

ths yours , in' er d my hnd just yards away. >> i know that, honey. that's wt excites me. >> eoo., el. [ music ] >> nurse. swab. [ c ] wait, a minute.meth' strange go- who are you? richard. yes, cle rt y chd.?:rd, darling! i've a right to be present at its birth. come on, margaret. we're callin' the police >> oh, richard. uncle als trng to induce me, even though i'm only four-months pregnant.

c ] applaus isne. >> that's a bizarre picture. [ soheerg ] >> it's not exactly what you'd call a backdoor pilot. >> no, that's bizarre scene. >> it is. and, at the end of it, peter falk actually cometo the world of the soap opera, so it ge completely bizarre, but it's a wonderfully funny pictur and-- >> that's what i read. wish you much luck, with it. >> thank yveh. >> i know you gotta run. you-- take the son out trick--tatg? >> you g tr-old. ye first, m gonna go tclas >> schoo first. >> sool firs -laughter ] anthen-tn.n hallow >> thanks, reciatit. thank you, john. >> thank you. [ apau ] musi >>ll be back, folks.

[ music ] [ applause ] okay, my next guest-- [ cheering ]

this you comedian has, uh, beith usonce befor he's a regular, at the improvisation, in hollywood. he's gonna be at a new cb, in san ramon, cafo the 12th of december, call tony t's. and you may have seen him on ed's showr sech," where he was, uh-- he was a finalist. would you welcome anthony griffith? anthony? [ music ] [ applause ] >> thank you, veh!ry muc glad to be back here. i just m h [ applause ]a, from chicago. yeah. thank u. to pursumy acting re. i first starterformi in. cle i majored in theater.but schoon plays like "oklahoma," "annie get your gun--" plays in which iouldn't really showcase all my talent. i just got tired] of saying things like, "mo' biscus, sir?" [ laughter ] i waa butler, just about every play i was in, in college. in fact, i w ble in plays that didn't even have but. [ some laughter ] i waa butler, not,

"i dunno where maria is. i know where the biscuits are." and at the time that i left chicago, a crime was being committed, in the city. which was scary. especially to me, because that meant, ery 12 secondswas i suspect, ya know. [ some laughter ] it used to amaze me how i could walk into a store, and every eye would watch me, simply because i tan easier than most people, ya know. whenever i touch something, "may i help you?" "no, i'm just looking." "wt aru "i'm just looking." "wt exactly e oking for?" [ laughter ] "well, right now, i'm lookin' for a can of raid, to make you stop buggin' me." [ laughter ] applause ] in fact, uh, i was miskenlyarre, once, and-- it wunny, me, how it happened, because i was workin' out, ealtspa, of takin' off my gym shoes and socks. and the police came up to me and id, 're der arrest

"wait, a minute, officer now, i kw my socks stink, [ laughter ] smell that bad." i mean, that's what i thought, because my father used always tell me, "one of these days, yo socurym are gonna kill somebody." [ laughter ] [ applause ] and they took me to the hospital, to be identified by the victim, which was frightening. until i saw the victim was delirious. he just lookedp and started saying, a? me lauter ]

now, i fl, if he to pay5 for some bkeall shoes,?z those shoes should be ableo play baskeall th. [ laughter ] th??ffld be able to op pick 'em up later-- "did we win?" [ applause ]?w another expensive brand are air rdans. and kids literally beg their parents for air jordans. you can see 'em in stores, everywhere you go--ama, i gottae the air jordans! i gottike chael!" li michael... dollar?ts, [ laughter ] i'm taki?[?n' your butt to payss." [ laughter ] [ applause ] gym shoes are so mainstr now, in our society. i ad a article, where a shoe company sent 500 boxes of gym shoes to ethiopia,in hop, as if the ethiopians would look at these s

these gym oes, i think we c catch that cheetah goin' 70 miles [ laughter ] [ applause ] i could just pictu ethiopians bend a bush, w-- going, "hereeeh, cheetah, cah "man, one right ovhe we c't catch him.onder he wearin' gym ses, too!" [ laughter ] i also know there's a lotta lo i hate dogs. ople say dogs man's best friend? i have yeto have aest friend poop iroomn my livin [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ cheering ] and people think dogs will lay down their lives for you, which is so untrue. i had a fire in my, last year, and my dog was the first one out the house. [ some laughter ] in i d fact,n't know was fire, until he called me up, on a pay phone, acss the street. [ laught

you a smoke detect i heard ." [ lauger ] [ applause ] and, in chicago, if a dog poops in public, by law, you're supposed to pick it up. now, after, say, a week of doin' this, you have got to ask yourself, who is the real master, in this relationship? then, yoveeoe that dress their dogs. one of t mrrsing moments, in my life happened, ontime, on my way to work. a dog crossemy path, wearing a sweater d a matching cap. [ applause ]

[ muc [ plause ] okay, here is uh-- kevin pollak has been with us, before. he's a talented young actor

at cobb's, in san francisco. he's got a role in theovie new mavalon," which is playing, i guess, all over the country, or a theater near you, or around a corner, or wherever. [ chuckling ] would you welcome kevin pollak? kevin? [ music ] applause ] [ eering ] well, how's-- >> how's everybody? >> y-- oh, fine, fine. the question is, how aou >> very good! [ laughter ] >> you are-- you're gutsy. >> what're you saying? >> you're gutsy. >>w-- hat? >> somebody told me you were gonna come out and do something, t i wasn't quite ready for this. >> normally, i wear a suit, true, but, uh, it's a little stuffy, to be honest with ya. >> w-- >> a-- >> i unders-- you had a birthday, yesterday. is-- anything to do with-- his a dlife crisis, or something, or-- some lghter ] >> all right, i-i was a try to coverp and save fa-- i was told we were all wearing costumes, tonight. okay? [ laug

you we gonna wear one o' doc's suits. so-- [ some laughter ]this igreat. i have no party to go to. this is it. >> are you gonna wear this out, tonight? >> i do. i have a party to go to. this is the problem. hav i time. and i had to-- i'm going right to this party. it's either six hours at the party, in a suit, which would look good this show, or an hour in this-- i think i made the wrong decision. [ i would be very-- ughter ] i would be vy careful whe you walk, in town, with that outfit, tonight. [ laughter ] is could-- this could be if i, uh-- you know,for you. it's not just the pink. >> yeah. put the w on-- a little bit.to floa [ laughter ]st wityo if i could be honest, though, it's, uh-- it-it's not just halloween. i-i do have deep feelings for ed. and, uh, [ laughter ] d-n't leave me hangin', ed. i know you feel something. yeah. >> you've seen it, in his eyes. freddy, you've seen somethin', ght? [ laughter ] "why be subtle?" you know, go all the way, with it. no, it's halloween. you're sp-- for christmas. i bring gifts. [ lahter ]you're supposed ta-- at all.! >> you're strange. strange person.

[ laughter ] >> can i set this here? >> you're stuck-- you're stuck with it, >> yeah. >> what year was it, yesterday? y-- what-what year? yeah. yeah, "year." >> i, , 33. >> really? >> and, uh, my bir i wy, [ coughing ] 33. and, uh-- yeah. thirty-three. >> you're a young man. what are ya worried about? please.young i'm gambling, now, obviously. >> yeah. >> i he t to, -- [ laughter ] i have a whole career ahd o' me that just we ly,ping ] [ laughter ]got a big film o, right now-"alon." how do ya d-- outdo doc? i did i dunno how. >> you did it. >> but, uh, ya know. >> it's a veer r yothday?annterting ior uh ion't, , t, >> n i always get a book, om theame re. i just realized, ok the monor-- peopleune , they're - think this is "love connection," omethi. l right, ]? i got the quiver, here. don't stop me. now, uh-- nous- ther cupid without a quiver. >> you know-- yoow what's gosome guy's gonna - and see this a not know what the hel goin' on. >> thawhy i re it. no. i-- so. i, uh-- i g-- i dot get good gifts. i got a book. i always book, from the same relative.

"the mating rituals of insects." ya need that um. [ laught course, you may not know, unless you read the book, that the male south american ncetle performs a mating ritual that lasts up to h yeah.sixteehours. afterwards, of course, the fele can simply say, "mmm, ." [ laughter si-si-- "tnks, for the dance,o." but n >> sixteen hours-- >> yeah.7x?! >> down the tu-- >> sixteen hours. >> down the tubes. >> callin' her back. [ laughter ] mie you're in is called-- >> "avalon y don't weath, , uh-- e. no.n >> actually, i just-- i wore this, in a film, roey a cacksmer, bge-- wore th,beutnext summer-- called, uh, "great moments in love--" [ chuckling ] where i do a thi, as cupid. and we thought it woulde cler a my manager's ibiouble. ughter ] "gd! you got career! what do you care?" l, i nmally wear a suit and a tie." "no, it'll be go johnny'lh!l laug "all right good." [ laughter ] so. that's all right. ou c>> y-y'tin 'em all. >> i got money in the bank. [ laughter ] i n shine shoe on t corner. >> you better haoney

you wannauy watch? oue re a movie bufo, what else - wh have you seen, tely? >> i've-y-o - i e all the movies. >> yeah. >> ya ow? and, uh, there's a very strange year. first of all, recurring themes. lot of the movies-- >> sequels? >> have similar , this year. >> yeah. >> uh, "esum innocent," t a guwhs accuse killing his coworker. about a guy who's eventually ?y?vkilled by a rk. "ghost," about a guy who was ed by s coworker. i didn't realize there's so much stress, at the office. i had no idea. [ laughter ] they advertise, "youill lieve," on theutfietp itakes a fegments.noou will liev th year, othe vi sha been advertised, "this is not true. we'll tell ya, right f "die hard ii--" thscene in the cockp, pled army,s a kid. whenouulatoes wi have, like, day and a half, [ some laughr ] you wal thguys in theockpit? in the audience, when the hand grenade's gonna-- theye all go ne thousand one, one thousand two, evenally,

shou've denily neffy w. thousa thirty-si otal recall?" very believable film. [ person applag ] they'r[e getting a tta kus, i n't 'sonna gacademawd natiin . he's been ping f nominated-- scarzeer been a verb?the acade these pele so ugh.laht >> they've gtaar. >> there vercranky, the academy. [ chklin]?o they do ve standards, yes. uh-- [ laughter ] and he's ginthem the amat boom, ght tohey all right. [ laer ]?o the audience loves it-- >> fis fredd- wh'ryou is for we got clia film >> he wants thcl, weave to go righw. >> we' set tup. ecau ty waa see this. >> yeah. . [ laughter ] oh! please, they wanna see this. [ some laughter ] thiss sc of america,the innocence througthe yes of ts onicular fay [ chucing ] and,h, aidan qnn d i ha opened up oun buness, and thr own television cmercial, to sell r ownew ste.

[ lauger ]dzi. i'm jules kaye. >> a i'm izzy kirk. that's right, jules. july 4th, the day you' get independence from higher prices, when kaye and kaye eands, to serve you better. sixty thousand square feet of discounted merchandize.>>witd lowest-price-in-town sticker price-- that doesn't sound right. >> okay, cut it. >> what? sounded good, to me. >> you said "price" twice. that's what threw you off. >> "price" twice. >> said itwice try to do this again. >> "lo-pceuarantee sticr." >> "guaranteed... >> lowest-price sticker." >> thi tgh >> read e >> i told ya we shoulda got the announcer gu >> no, no, no,t goodis. at th they're too professional. >> i'm not good at this! >> you're very good. we're salesmen. who better tsell, than salesmen? [ sighing ] besis, uh, we can't even afford this. laughter ] 're nna kill me, with this.

were. s.hitv tng is way beyond the set aside, for vertis how many times have i told ya? nothing will get the message across, >> nowyou told m levision. you love television. [ applause ] tta go? we gotta take-- do this. we're comin'ack. stay where ya are.

[ sic ] well, sir. [ cheering ] [ laughter you've learned a valuable comedy lesso tougto follow the tfit.

?ome and knock on our door ? ? conddoor ? ? wveeeitin' r yo? ? we wai tin'?herehe kses are rs and and his ? ?'s cpao tee? cd danclo n r floo ? take ep tt is ? ?taketep that is w youface ?t is ? ?tak our rendezvous ?o ??( ? down aour rendezvous ?

chriy, o ddinyou ki it turnsnt injunkstant he makes roper look like thomas edison. tch th. no cold water. huh. well, no t. i'll be darned! dishinr. ?k inedible rahie boy, i take it all back. you're beautif! now, sayello

it'sll fedh? we, or.. just iong rect thwr i'm going to tell we, or.. urleoff . jack, no! i wouldn't do that if i were you. whnot? because we're a week behind on our rent. well, this better not ppen aga when we' paid . doorbell rings ) ohh! hi. hi, chriy. . hi, jack. hissg ) my three forite people! what a nice surprise findg all of you here. mr. rley, we ve here. ng?6 yes, and i'm nly aiad you do. wonyou'rerf kids

tried fix it. ( lahing ) , love od sense of mor. i'm glad you of me as a friend u can kid around with because, asriends sometimes do i need a littlhelp. so does oufriend the gaage disposal. y is it acting up again? uh-huh. it just acted up all over jack. i'll get to it. anywayi just got a call om aold buof min omack home ouldt haen to be a plumr, he? , no, old merle and i ve bies ever since we were four yearsld. wee been rivals right from the te weds. always trying to outdo each other. that's nice. no, it's awful.i he just called me from the airport on his way to hawaii and he's going stop by and see me. well, that will be nice -gs. well, that will be nice no, iton't be!

het n it ub m gloaov milur . furley, you' n?j a ilur med of. s, i do. no, you don't. i ! i do! no, you n't. lay off, gls. . furl has every right be ashamed. thanks, jack. what kind of help ll, i'd ke youirls--us? no offense, jack-- i'd li gir bwn amy pla n. when he tsre. why? well, for a little window dreing and then i neebodyme to st ofack me up when i... when i tell him i own this building. want u to lie? no, no. i'll do that. i meanll just spruce up the truth a little welli woul own this place if anyg ed to my brother. gee, i don't know.

look, i'm sorry. i mean, plse mrey. furl e sws . look, i'm sorry. why? because the girl are going bere helping me fix the garbage disposal. don't rry, i'll take care of at ? a umber will. all ght, all right, i'll hirplumbe a real plumb onwith tools. not just herbie with hiree ffermment ha okay. you gijust be down at my place in 20 minutes, okay? okay. okay, but i ha a date with elmo. i'm late, he'll blow his top. ssy, it will be okay. t fight ov elmo. just come do as quick as you can, okay? and a al locksmith. merle, you old son of a gun i you had let m pick you up at the airport. ohot, ralph t didn't know which terminal

have a ? wh you have a company you got toave a jet to go along with it. oh, merle, i tell you i don't know how you do it. oh, ralph, it's nothing. ing by with just one jet. ralph, you mean you have more than one jet? , surei... i need a few. that's because he's always flyiff in all drent directions. you know what's hard to believe, ralph? uld s th you we stil selling or-to-or. roach poison, wasn't it? oh, go, no. no, i'm in thale ga now.years ago. this..th casfor it... why? wellno well, uh...

ha, ha, hauh.. it th tck you the ole bl yeah. yeah, the whole k. chrsy? right, right. the block next door, too. yeah, i been piling up real estate for quite a while now. yeah, and when mr. fuey piles it he piles it hi. oil is my reale. ralph, tell me, y a d in your position5 wells. choose to live her uh.. i can answer tt. uh.. as mr. furley's pers secretary, um.. i can tell you that, um... mr. furley likes to stay reloseal co his investments no matter how large or small. and who wants to live

that y and i would the eatwo grccesse but there's more to life than money, isn't there? ke wha i mean, of course there is. the most beautifulan a thing little g in the world. but wen'u engadutiful? one of the grubb girls? verna, the one that owned her own tractor? well, yes, but i marrie me a bety contest winne- miconsss wis. me? uh... ll.. myitwiy never woty const but sh.. mr. furley. a you hear tt? "mr. furle she iln't ge used to the idea. you didn give mmuch tim how loave you two be married a couplef months now. well, i'll be!

ered out. ahand i live pretty ch lau isn'at righthoy? fake lghr ) so much for the "laus" pt. it's getting late. miss wood g.u . well, fine, sir. . nk, it was really a pleasure meeting you. and you, little lady. odightmrfuey. s. rley oh, right. good night, mr. furley's sretary. goodht well, merle, you ce back real sn, yea ll, weguess i had better well, merle, youhead toward real sn, yea e hotel. oh, say, ralph... i. just remeered. i'm carryi about $15,000 in ch on me

??np d eddyye i' see you in theorni.y u two go to bed now. i' see you don't worry about me. well, you heard the ma come on,rs. rl.