anu, anu. whoa. [ laughs ] mmm -- oh! ciao. [ ding! ] good morning, samantha. i just popped in on my way to the casbah. ben ahmed is giving the most marvelous cocktail party for the prime minister. oh, well, that's lovely, mother, but i can't talk right now. i overslept, and darrin's breakfast isn't ready. , very well. i'll pitch in and help. no, don't. [ telephone rings ] [ ringing continues ] hello? uh, no, ma'am. this is the stephens' residence. i'm afraid you have the wrong number. that's quite all right. yeah.

no, ma'am. i'm sorry. you have the wrong number. it's quite all right. digit dialing. [ telephone rings ] hello?! no, ma'am, i am sorry! this is not the sunnydale rest home! no, i don't mean i'm sorry it's not. it isn't. or is it? three wrong numbers in a row? that was no lady. what are they up to?

[ telephone rings ] hello?! listen, if you ring this phone one more time, i'm -- oh, uh... hello, larry. i'm sorry i shouted at you. i thought you were my mother-in-law. mother-in-law? you're not afraid to talk like that to your mother-in-law? darrin, if you were here, i'd get your autograph. instead, i got some news for you.

uh, when? well, in that case, maybe sam would -- oh. well, of course, if they aren't. yeah. oh, sure. bye, lar. breakfast is ready. bad news. i resent you addressing me like that. if the shoe fits... i'm warning you -- shoes can kick! [ ding! ] uh, what do you mean, bad news? we're going to honolulu. when? this afternoon. we are? honolulu! uh, sam -- and you call that bad news? sam -- you didn't give me much time to brush up on my hula. honey, it's business. that's marvelous. it's so much more fun on an expense account. sam, you're not going. i can't take you. oh. you said "we."

't take their wives, so i can't very well take you. oh. it might get them in trouble with their own wives. well, it certainly was an exciting trip while it lasted. actually, i don't know what business it is of theirs whether i take my wife or not. darrin, if you really wanted me to go, i could turn myself into a necktie and sort of hang around. no, that's out. i'm not taking you along through witchcraft. all right. that's settled. now eat your breakfast. oh, i won't have time. d pack. but, sweetheart, you have to eat something. don't worry -- i'll call the coffee shop and have them send me up some jelly donuts. [ ding! ] oh, my! [ chuckles ] he'll never win an oscar for that performance. what do you mean, "performance"? oh! i wouldn't trust a mortal out of my spell for two seconds. he's up to something. oh, mother. you know, you're impossible!

very well. we'll see how good he is at wishing. i've given him three wishes to prove it. mother, that's worse than reading somebody else's mail. now you'll know how three-faced mortals are. [ chuckling ] [ sighs ] betty, make eight copies of this, will you, please? larry! well, you certainly got down to the office early. morning, betty. good morning, mr. stephens. i had to revise some estimates before the committee meeting. i hate to do financial work at home. every time louise sees a dollar sign, she goes shopping. mr. stephens, i have your ticket for honolulu. don't give it to him. give it to me. [ sighs ] change of plans. the clients just called. it seems they'd rather have the head of the company with them. and that's me. you're kidding. i wish i were. i had other plans. man, did i have other plans. well, i'd better call sam. she may have started packing already.

well... i wonder what he'd like to take to honolulu. toss a coin. blonde or redhead. oh, very funny. [ telephone rings ] hello? oh, hi, sweetheart. i just got your suitcase out of the closet. well, put it back in the closet. i don't have to go. you don't? the clients decided they want larry to go instead of me. [ chuckling ] oh, wonderful! what is so funny? he doesn't have to go to honolulu. the clients changed their minds just like that. he's not going. oh, ho, ho, ho. just like that, eh? oh, mother, you're such a sore loser. sweetheart, i have an idea. the suitcase gave it to me. hold it, sweetheart. don't get your hopes up. with larry gone, i'm going to have a lot of extra work. starting with buffy baker. uh, sam, i may be a little late for dinner tonight. you have to take her where?

oh, sure, sweetheart. that's fine. bye-bye. goodbye, sweetheart. see you tonight. has to take her where? oh, mother, it's purely routine. oh, ho, ho, ho. i'll bet it's routine. darrin's company is handling the advertising for the tropical bathing suit campaign. a "her" in a bathing suit. oh! now we're getting to the heart of the first wish. excuse me. she's here. buffy? ask her to come in. well, come in, come in, come in. isn't she cute? i believe you know mr. stephens. oh, yes. i never forget a face. easy, buffy. you all right? oh. oh, there you are. i'm sorry, mr. stephens, but the company asked me not to wear my glasses. hello! oh. oh. [ all chuckling ]

there you are. oh. buffy, i've been called out of town on business, so mr. stephens will escort you to the luncheon and the cocktail party. oh, how sweet of you. he'll make a little speech introducing you. and tomorrow the car will pick you up and take you to the airport. remember, you've got a banquet in boston. i know, i know. mr. stephens will take wonderful care of you. my, how cozy that will be, won't it? [ chuckling ] [ clears throat ] hi, honey. hi, sweetheart. larry get off all right? right on the button. what's for dinner? creamed chicken. hmm. oh, i thought you liked it. i had it for lunch. i'm sorry. i can fix you something else. oh, no. i love yours. it'll help me forget that stuff i had at the luncheon. i saw buffy's bathing-suit ad in a magazine this afternoon. is she really as pretty in person as she is in pictures? oh, prettier. uh, but up here -- nothing.

doesn't need anything up here. well, pretty or not, i'm stuck with her. i'm going to have to fly to boston to introduce her at a sales banquet. boston? mm-hmm. my lousy luck. they liked my speech so much at the luncheon, they insisted i repeat it tomorrow in boston. oh, how long will you be gone? only a few hours, thanks to the jet age. i should be back in time for dinner, if you don't mind waiting till 9:00 or 10:00. i thought you said it was a banquet. i've had my last forkful of creamed chicken. i'm not going to eat -- i mean banquet creamed chicken. you don't have to explain. i want to be back in time to have dinner with you. ooh, i'd better call buffy at the hotel. larry told me to keep close tabs on her. she can't remember what city she's in. [ ding! ] wish number two -- buffy in boston. oh, hello, mother. i thought you were in the casbah. i was, but i wouldn't miss this for the world. you're wasting your time. [ chuckles ] darrin: samantha! yes, sweetheart?

i want to wear it on the plane. yes, it's in the closet. dinner jacket -- how positively gala. he's not eating there. he's coming home to have dinner with me. oh, maybe he will and maybe he won't.

[ telephone rings ] hello? hello? oh, hi, sweetheart. where are you? ston? [ ding! ] ha! b-but, darrin, you said that -- why can't you get a plane? didn't you make a reservation? [ hums chopin's "funeral march" ] shh! oh, but, sweetheart, that's absurd. why aren't the planes taking off? honey, boston has been hit by a sudden snowstorm. a snowstorm? why, it's so warm and balmy here, we were gonna have dinner on the patio.

boston's been hit by a freak snowstorm. a freak snowstorm. and all the flights are canceled. hmm? oh, no, honey. i'm all right. i have a room right here at the hotel. yes, the same one where they had the banquet. it's pretty full because of the convention, but i managed to get a room. now, don't worry. i'm perfectly all right. i'll see you as soon as i can get a plane out of here. all right, sweetheart. bye-bye. [ sighs ] well, you want to stay for dinner? what are we eating, crow? [ knock on door ] hi. hi. can i come in? yes, uh, certainly. mainly, i wanted to get away from all those jokes in the lobby.

the snowstorm coming in to cool things off. you were supposed to be flying to chicago, weren't you? the planes aren't taking off. i know. the hotel's full, and i can't get a room. some of the gentlemen were kind enough to offer, but -- never mind. uh, you can have this room. i'll go out to the airport and wait for the first flight out. oh, i wouldn't feel right putting you out of here. well, i wouldn't feel right staying. have a wonderful tour. bye-bye. [ chiming ] [ chiming stops ] i didn't say anything. well, i just said i didn't say anything. then may i say how happy i am that you are not saying anything? [ doorbell rings ] that's darrin. oh, he couldn't get back from boston that fast. he was fooling me -- calling me from the airport. i knew it all the time. hi. telegram for mr. stephens.

oh! [ ding! ] what is it? oh, a telegram for darrin from honolulu. probably from larry. perhaps you'd better call him in boston. [ telephone rings ] hello? hello? oh, i'm sorry. there must be some mistake. i wanted mr. stephens' room. this is mr. stephens' room. oh, i'm sorry. he isn't here. um, could you tell me where i could reach mr. stephens? no, i'm sorry. i don't know where he is right now. but, if you'll only pardon me, i am dead. [ yawns ]

hi, honey. would you believe it? it took until this afternoon to get a plane out. ooh. if you ever want to ruin your back, just try sleeping on one of those airport benches. age the bums. hi, honey. i don't blame you for not wanting to be kissed. i haven't shaved. hey, i got good news for you. my speech got more laughs in boston than it did here. all in all, i think the trip was worth it. ow! watch it, honey. you know, i've only been to boston three times. i like it more each time i go.

sam, i may be mistaken, but i think that maybe you're peeved about something. did anything happen while i was gone? well, i certainly couldn't have done anything. did i? did i? sam, i asked you a question. did i? sam, you're going to stay right here and talk to me. [ ding! ] samantha! sam, where are you? wherever you are. now, listen to me, sam! samantha: i'm going home to mother. what do you mean, going home to mother? your mother's always here. sam. sam, where are you? now, put that down! let -- let go! well, you told me to let go.

sam, now, cut this out! i want to see you immediately! samantha, you're my wife, mand that you appear before me! where do you think you're going? you're not leaving this house! she couldn't. sam. sam, please wait! please wait! all right. go ahead!

tal, i couldn't stop you! but in all fairness, don't you think i'm entitled to know why? the very least you could do is tell me why! very well. mother warned me about you and that model, but i didn't believe her. me interested in buffy? i couldn't see her in a million years. she can't see me without her glasses. [ chuckles ] no. without your knowledge, mother gave you three wishes to prove what was on your mind. well, you proved it, all right. what did i prove? your first wish was that you didn't have to go to honolulu so you could look after that model instead. that wasn't a wish. that was wished onto me by larry. then you wished that you could go to boston with her. then you wished up that freak snowstorm so that you'd have an excuse not to come home. that's what you think? that's what i know. i called your hotel room last night.

d. she didn't have a place to stay so i gave her my room, and i slept at the airport! now you know why i'm leaving. goodbye. oh, wait! i think we've covered the matter. your mother gave me three wishes, and i used them the way you said? you did. watch this. three wishes, huh? stand back. uh, wish number one -- here! why, darwin, i had no idea you were so fond of me! there. there, you see? i wouldn't have been able to do that if i'd used those three wishes on buffy, would i? you interrupted me at a party, you silly boy. and i was getting along so famously with the prime minister. oh, darrin, i -- quiet, both of you! i haven't finished yet. you gave me those three wishes

y help from you! you are so right! mortals have a talent for it. but as long as i've got them, i'm going to wish something that i've been wishing ever since i met you. what is it? wish number two -- i wish that you would stay out of our lives fore-- darrin, no! for... one week! wish number three -- darrin, never mind the third wish. [ snaps fingers ] [ ding! ] it's on the house. sweetheart? darrin? [ grunts ] darrin?

[ tinkles ]

good night, sweetheart. mmm, feeling better? much. after spending last night in an airport in a snowstorm, that's just what i needed -- a good, hot shower. i wish i could take another. [ water running ] oh, we forgot. you had one more wish left.

[ chuckles ] hi, sweetheart! hi, honey. oh, is something the matter? yeah. larry and i ran into an important client today, and i couldn't remember the man's name... and he knew it. that happens to everyone once in a while. it's natural. well, it's been happening too often, i'm going to do something about it. in fact, i already have. i bought this book. i read the first two chapters on the train. it's fascinating. oh! "instant memory can be yours." that's nice. you start your homework. i'll start dinner. "chapter three." [ ding! ]

ah, testing your memory, dear? do you remember me? i wouldn't mind forgetting you, endora. a perfect memory! that's ridiculous. what's so ridiculous about it? well, the ability to forget is very important to you mortals. you do so many stupid things, a perfect memory would be impossible to live with. is that so? total recall can only be handled by a strong, mature mind. dawson? it leaves me wishing that you would mind your own business. excuse me if i ignore you. [ chuckling ] so you want a perfect memory, huh? [ ding! ] [ ding! ] cynthia! samantha: who?

velous? wonderful! i-i -- my memory's working. i remember a lot of things about him. he loves beethoven, hates wagner. he raises parakeets. he's got three children -- mark, age 14, sylvia, age 11, and a little 3-year-old named willie! fascinating. yes, isn't it? and i only just began the third chapter.

good morning, sweetheart. mmm! hi. hey, hot cakes and blueberries! mm-hmm. thought i'd give you something different. oh, it's not different. you fixed them once before. no, i don't think so. it was, uh, september the 14th, raining, saturday. you were wearing the yellow dress with the white polka dots. oh, that yellow dress. i wonder what ever happened to it.

mrs. dumont for the rummage sale. that's right. i did. that was the same rummage sale that you "whipped up" that enormous chocolate cake for. how about forgetting it, hmm? i'll drop the subject. but i'll never forget it. [ intercom buzzes ] yeah, larry? larry: darrin, mr. pennybaker is here. u'd mind coming in. my pleasure. and every parakeet -- or budgie, as we call them -- that i've got, i've practically hand-raised from an egg. how about that? your average bird isn't very intelligent, you know. but those little budgies -- oh, ed, i don't know whether you remember darrin stephens or not. oh, yes, yes, i remember stephens,

how are you? fine, fine. thank you. and how are the children -- mark and sylvia, your little three-year-old, willie? well, they're just fine. and, uh... call me ed. well, thank you, ed. ed was just telling me some fascinating things about his parakeets. yes. i've got a bird that picks up a new word every week. there's no telling how far that bird can go. i remember reading in the dentist's office about a budgerigar -- or a budgie, as they're called -- owned by an english woman. that bird knew 12 nursery rhymes by heart and had a vocabulary of over 300 words. i know about that bird. i didn't know you were a budgie man. i'm not, i'm not. i just remember reading about it in the dentist's office. oh. the bird was called sandy and was owned by mrs. irene pauls of staines, in middlesex. yes, yes. beautiful country -- middlesex. you know, i drove through there

but that would be the midlands, not middlesex. thank you very much, stephens. well, do you suppose it's possible to do a little constructive work around here? oh, sure, ed. sure! that's no good. mnh-mnh. wait a minute. now, here's something i like! simple, plain... oh, excuse me, ed, but, um, if memory serves me, the baroque period in art was highly ornamental. it followed the renaissance and found its extreme expression in the rococo. what are you doing, taking extension courses in everything? knock it off, will you, darrin? sorry, larry. just popped into my mind. art 101. professor eckhart. monday, wednesday, and friday at 10:00. i got a b-minus. he had a good-looking daughter. darrin, you're flunking

sorry. uh, sorry, ed. here we are. well, i'll tell you something i discovered about larry. he doesn't like for me to charge things. he'd rather give me the cash -- it seems to give him a sense of power and of being charitable to me. very interesting. louise... how are you, dear? i know what you want. just tell me how much. oh, this is mr. pennybaker, our favorite client. how do you do? darrin was telling me about you last night. i hear you have three wonderful children. oh, yes, i do, indeed. and, you know, it's a pleasure working with your husband. will this be enough, darling? without looking, no. mr. pennybaker, if you and your wife aren't busy, why don't you join us for dinner tonight? well, that would be fine. oh, good, good. samantha, we'll expect you and darrin, too. just a minute. i believe it's our turn.

at all. you still have a rain check from that thursday a month before last when we invited you and you didn't show up. mr. pennybaker, in case you're wondering where you're going to have dinner tonight, it'll be at our house, all right, louise? anything, but let's go shopping. yes, well, i think i'd better go, too. i'll walk you ladies out. you know, not too long ago, a dispute like this could have ended on the dueling field. everything according to the code duello. ladies, you probably don't know this, esting history. now, you take the age of chivalry. a gentleman in those days... pleased with yourself? well, i'm sorry, larry. but you've been bugging me about my memory. i've been trying to improve it. i know ed pennybaker. he considers himself an authority on everything. he likes to be on! i didn't notice.

that i did remember every detail of his account. yes. yes. now i wish you would go to your office and practice a little forgetting. i can't. that's the wonderful thing. i can't. and, larry, i want to thank you for insisting that i improve my memory.

oh! let me guess. [ deep voice ] go ahead. the milkman? right. how 'bout payin' your bill, lady? there. where's my change? oh, darrin, they're lovely! what's the occasion?

oh. how very thoughtful of you. i was remembering how nice it was making up afterwards. yes, that was nice. thank you. i remember i took you to dinner, the theater, and dancing afterward. oh, yes. you were so charming and gallant. remember the funny little waiter with the toupee? you were very romantic, too. and the bandleader who was smashed out of his skull? no, but i remember how sweet you were -- oh, honey, you must remember him. they had him propped up between two music stands. it was the night we had the fight. it all started -- i can't even remember what the fight was about. i can. it was the time you were going to meet me outside my office building and you were waiting at the wrong entrance, which left me standing for one solid hour in the pouring rain. you do remember that, don't you? oh, for heaven's sakes. why did you go to the side entrance?

i was waiting there because you asked me to meet you there. why would i do a thing like that? you made a mistake. you were just too wet and irritable to admit it. it was for your convenience that i was there! you were doing some shopping in that dress store on the side street! that's ridiculous, darrin. that shop never had anything i wanted. for your information, that was the day and the place where you bought that yellow dress that you gave to the rummage committee along with that chocolate cake that you "whipped up"! there, you see? you always say that whenever i'm right, and i'm right, aren't i? all right. you're right. here. take your raggedy old flowers and press them in your dumb, old instant-memory book! well! if it's wrong for a man to try to improve himself -- to study hard to get ahead in his job... so that he can do better by his wife and child,

i'm sorry. don't you think you've improved your memory enough? can't you just forget about the rest of the book? samantha, if it weren't for that book, i wouldn't have remembered about our first quarrel and i wouldn't have brought you these flowers. and we wouldn't be having this brand-new fight. i'm sorry. they're lovely. and i love you very much. i love you very much. [ both chuckle ] which reminds me of the time -- listen, but none of you remember the really early cars. now, i mean the first ones. for instance, who remembers the lexington minuteman? now, there -- it was a four-cylinder, four-passenger sports car,

my great aunt emma had one. i hadn't thought of it in years. [ giggles ] now, that's all right, as far as you went. but the valve system -- ed, to be completely accurate, the lexington was hardly one of your first cars. after all, the internal combustion engine -- the first patent was taken out in 1886 by gottlieb daimler. and credit is generally given to a man named krebs for all the features that we find in today's modern car. he designed the panhard in 1894, which -- right! would you mind refilling my glass? ed. ed, darrin tells me that you're quite a music lover. yes, ed. tell us about it. well, i must say i do pride myself on my knowledge of -- does your husband know music, samantha? not really, no. well, you see, i'm particularly interested in that creative giant, ludwig van beethoven.

beethoven? how nice! you know, there's an enduring vitality in all the great music of the classical period. now, you take beethoven -- excuse me, ed, but as i understand it, beethoven was what we call a transition composer. darrin... now, the composers of your classical period were haydn, mozart. your romantic composers -- chopin, schumann. beethoven and schubert -- they came in between, q.e.d. your husband doesn't know music? [ chuckles ] i don't. uh, just something i picked up from the notes on a record album. you remember, louise, that album of symphony favorites you gave to me on my birthday eight years ago. so now it's our fault, huh? ed, larry's been thinking of putting in a wine cellar, and we don't know anything about it. i just wondered if you could advise us on anything we should get. as a matter of fact --

in a moment, dear. there was a terrible blight in the french vineyards. darrin, i'd like to see you in the kitchen. right now. oh. well, excuse me, folks. back in a minute. why don't you take over, ed? thank you. now, about that wine cellar -- now, that's something i really know. we built one, you know. well, what has gotten into you? honey, isn't it marvelous? only a few sessions with that great little book, ady my memory's increased a thousand percent! i can't imagine what it'll be like after i finish it. i dread the thought. what do you mean? don't you see that ed's just about ready to kill you? why? we have so many interests in common! honey, can't you see? isn't it exciting? it's total recall. that's what it is. and your mother thought i couldn't handle it. ha! my mother? i haven't seen my mother in two weeks.

mother? mother! [ ding! ] well! unbearable, isn't he? you did it, didn't you? i warned him he'd be impossible to live with. you mean, he asked you for the power? no, no. he thinks he's doing the whole thing with that little pointed head of his. and may i say... he's on the way to becoming the champion bore of the world. you take that spell off him. but, samantha, i didn't put the spell on him. witch's honor! if you didn't put a spell on him, then it must be something he has with him -- some object. what? that's for me to know and you to find out. it's a nice little challenge for you, dear. something he's wearing? something he has with him all the time?

ng off to rio. [ ding! ] really! something, something. no, no, ed. it wasn't that way at all, if you'll excuse me. columbia came to the rose bowl to play stanford. nobody gave 'em a chance. they played the game in a pouring rain. it was a scoreless tie in the fourth quarter. my uncle max told me all about it when i was a little kid. columbia's coach, lou little, had worked out a key play. columbia's quarterback faded back with the ball, and he threw it! [ ding! ] oh, i'll get it, darrin. you tell ed all about it. well, he threw it to, uh -- um -- uh, what's his name? it's right on the tip of my tongue. um, what is his name, ed? help me! his name was barabas -- al barabas. he scored a touchdown, they converted,

and you lost $35 to jess wallach when you couldn't afford it. how about that? yes! well, how'd you know that, cynthia? well, i don't know. yes, i do. i've heard that story -- let's see. ed and i have been married 15 years. he's told the story at least twice a week. that means i would have heard it at least 1,560 times. what? oh, i know his fishing story almost as well. he's only told that 1,422 times. cynthia. oh, just a minute, darling. how would you like to hear about orchid raising? he just started that 10 years ago, so he's only told that 836 times. i didn't realize that i monopolize the conversation. oh, but you do, darling. oh, let me tell you about our 10th anniversary. we decided to go back to niagara falls to recapture romance. we had a lovely view of the falls. i saw them, but i never heard them.

cynthia! oh, i'm sorry, ed. i shouldn't have said all that. but suddenly, something came over me, and, all of a sudden, everything came back. was i as bad as that? i never realized. you mean i go on and on and on about anything, everything? the way he does? oh, gee, everybody, i'm sorry if i was talking too much. sam, was i? uh, samantha, why don't you give darrin and ed something else to think about -- like maybe some food for thought? oh, that's an excellent idea, larry.

morning, sweetheart. morning. honey, where's my instant-memory book? darrin, after all we've been through, what do you want that thing for? i misplaced my watch. i thought a quick review would help me remember where i left it. oh, well, i took it. the strap was broken. i'm gonna have it fixed. i forgot to tell you. you see? it's my memory, not yours. i have a strange feeling there is something wrong with my memory. tirely from that book. what conversation did i have with your mother that slipped my mind, like i wish every conversation i had with your mother would? you suspect my mother? why, darrin, i find that hard to believe. i bet you find it harder to deny. hmm, much harder. but i love you, so could you try and forget about...mother...

a cinch. [???] tomorrow night? no, no, no, i'm busy. roge. busy, yes. uh, how 'bout next week, okay? [sighs] yes, you know i love you. goodbye, mother. well, what's up? maryland? do we have a mission? i do, i'm getting married. you're kidding. [chuckling] yeah. i'm marrying jeannie. jeannie? yeah. our jeannie? yeah, that's right. now, listen to me. now, listen to me very closely. jeannie's done something to you to make you think you're going to marry her. but you're not, because i'm going to save you. yeah, roger, i want to marry her. come on, you gotta snap out of it! you're under a spell, can you hear me?

the whole thing was my idea. your idea? are you kidding? you know you can't marry jeannie. she's a genie. well, she's not gonna be a genie anymore. i just found out. if she marries a mortal, she stops being a genie. yeah, who told you that? i read it in a book. yeah, well, i bet she-- she wrote the book. oh, brother. oh, wait a minute. oh, well, let's not rush into these things. why don't you think about it for a couple of years, then you can marry her-- roger, i'm marrying jeannie. now, are you gonna be my best man? well, if i can't stop you, i might as well join you. thanks, roge. got yourself a best man. well, thanks. i'll, uh, also keep myself available for your court-martial. oh, there's nothing to worry about. once jeannie and i are married, she'll be an average, everyday housewife. uh, what time are we leaving? look at this. huh? what time are we leaving? four o'clock plane. ah, that gives me six hours. yeah, to do what? uh, well, i've got a few calls to make. [chuckles] see you later. [chuckling] look at this.

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[???] jeannie, i've gotta talk to ya. did major nelson tell you that we are getting married tonight? he did mention it. oh, isn't that exciting? [screams] you don't know how exciting. a former astronaut married to a genie. yes, is it not wonderful? a form-- a former astronaut? they won't keep him in the program when they hear about you. but why not? i will no longer be a genie. oh, great. that's just great. oh, great, a former genie married to an astronaut. i mean, how could you do this to him?

jeannie, the only reason he's marrying you is because he has this idea that when you marry, you won't be a genie anymore. but it is true. how do you know? it is in our legend. do you mean, you're gonna jeopardize tony's whole career on a legend you're not even sure of? i know how i can find out. haji. who's haji? he is the master of all the genies. he is most powerful. why don't you talk to him, and i can leave and then-- oh, thank you, haji, for coming here. i hope it's something important. this is my busy time of the month. who's this? oh, i'm, uh, major roger healey, sir. i'm on detached duty to nasa. yes. why did you call me? i need your help. i am thinking about getting married. ah, excellent. ha-ha, it's about time. i knew you would soon tire of your dog of a master. you are going to marry ali, the tent-maker?

no. sharif, the camel king? mm, no. no? then who? tony, the dog of a master. what? you are going to marry your master? oh, yes. [haji groans] is it not true that if i marry my master, i will lose all my powers? yes, it is so written. ha. you see? well, i don't care if it's written. i think the marriage is gonna be a disaster. [chuckles] very happy. well, it's my opinion against your opinion. that's a draw. let's forget about the whole thing. yes. uh, one moment. could you possibly show him what it would be like? ha. haji can do anything. [???] hey. look at that, very-- quiet! shh. watch. [wails]

look into the crystal ball. [haji laughing] amanda: oh, that duck. [laughing] i can't tell you, it was absolutely heavenly. why don't you ask mrs. nelson for the recipe? the orange sauce, oh-- and i'd like the recipe for the creamed caramel. you couldn't beat it. shall we take our coffee into the living room? yes. excuse us. tony: oh, that was wonderful. amanda, you don't remember-- bellows: excuse me. remember the sauce... ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. oh, that was wonderful. i'll help you clear the table. oh, it would only take me a second. oh, i keep forgetting. [both laugh] and believe me, i like it better this way. oh. [indistinct chatter] no, no. sit here, darling. you'll be more comfortable. oh, thanks. oh, alfred, darling.

beautiful. jeannie made it in her weaving class. made it? oh. allow me, dear. you're certainly a lucky man, colonel nelson. i think so, sir. last night we had meatloaf. [chuckles] alfred makes marvelous meatloaf. [all laughing] jeannie, that's a beautiful dress. where did you get it? oh, thank you. i made it. oh, she makes all her own clothes. ma--? oh, for heaven's sake. she wanted to make all of his uniforms, but he wouldn't let her. we had to draw the line somewhere. she's adding an extra room to the house, too. what? she's wonderful with her hands. and to think i was against this marriage. why were you against the marriage, colonel healey? well, i, uh-- he probably wanted to keep her for himself. yeah, well, i didn't think it was fair for one man to have her.

[laughs] i hate to break up such a beautiful evening, but i think we should be running along. okay? i think that we should go too. yeah. yes, i haven't done this morning's dishes yet. funny, funny, dear. you don't have to go now, do you? there's no question about it, colonel nelson. this marriage is the greatest thing that ever happened to you. i agree, sir. amanda: the perfect marriage. the perfect marriage. the perfect marriage. the perfect marriage. the perfect marriage. boy, was i ever wrong? [laughing] i told you, major healey. are you sure that's the way it's going to be? you have seen it with your own eyes. can i ask you something? yes. you know that girl that was my date? mm. well, i've never met her before. uh, you wouldn't happen to have her telephone number, would you? it's okay. you're sure you want to marry one of these?

you won't miss having the powers of a genie? no. i will have something greater. you know what this will do to your parents? [???] yes. i will not tell them that you married a mortal. i will tell them that you were killed in a chariot accident. oh, thank you, haji. there's nothing more to say. this is the last time i will see you, jeannie. farewell. farewell, haji. [giggling] and thank you. about that telephone number, i thought maybe we-- oh. [giggles] oh, boy, was i ever wrong. whoa, was i ever wrong. then you are no longer against the marriage? why should i be against the perfect marriage? it's the greatest thing to ever happen to tony. oh, thank you. hey, wait a minute. we better get ready. we've got a wedding to go to.

[???] boy, my old buddy getting married. gee, it's hard to believe. we sure had some great times together. yeah.

so do i. i think i've found the girl, but i can't get her telephone number. who's number? i don't know, i haven't met her yet. did you talk to dr. bellows about getting married yet? no. no, i thought i'd wait until after the honeymoon. i don't know how he'll take it. i wouldn't worry about him. he said it'll be a perfect marriage. hm. yeah. you're getting married? tonight? yes, sir. uh, i have some leave accrued, and i thought we'd fly up to maryland tonight. yeah, i'm gonna be the best man. well, i haven't met the young lady yet, but if she's the right wife for you, it could be exactly what you've needed. uh, believe me, sir, she's a most unusual girl. unusual? she puts on his slippers, and she's building on an extra room in the house. i'm very anxious to meet her. roger: oh, you will. she's going to make you the most marvelous duck dinner. we're gonna have to have that dinner right after your honeymoon. i've got to get that girl's telephone number. are you planning on a large family? oh, yes, sir. we both love children.

very much, sir. children? why did you summon me again? oh, i am sorry to trouble you, haji, but we are a little worried. a little worried? we were panicking. so if jeannie marries a mortal, are their children mortals or genies? mortals. ah. ah. ah, but sometimes, they may be genies. there's no way of knowing. but we've got to know. can we look in the future again? i am late for an appointment in samara. oh, please, please. please. please. uh, very well. [wails] [muttering] tony: yeah. uh... "insert flap a into flap b, after sealing c into position f. and--" yeah, now, we've already done that, right? [sighs] uh, let's see now, "do not fasten the widgets together until a square has been..." jeannie.

ng, daddy's trying to concentrate. [chuckles] that's right. can you fix it, daddy? oh, sure, honey. there's nothing to it. it says, uh, right here-- it says, "any child over the age of 7 can assemble this house in 10 minutes." oh, i am sure it's going to be a beautiful dollhouse. come, anthony. help mommy. now, let's see. "do not fasten the widgets together until a square has been formed by folding z--" uh, "z over y." that shouldn't be hard, huh? um... now, we dealt with z. they never tell you which... it's in the diagram, i know. [chuckles] i tell you what. why don't you study this for a little while? your daddy's got some phone calls to make, huh? did daddy help you again? yes. why don't you go ahead, do it.

boy, what a great house. oh! i told you never to do that, darling. but i wanted my dollhouse. oh, please, darling. if your father knew about this, it would make him terribly, terribly nervous. please, promise me, never, never, ever to do it again. and, anthony-- bellows: yoo-hoo. amanda: yoo-hoo! oh. oh, dr. bellows. hello. well-- forgive us for dropping in like this, mrs. nelson, but we were just passing by. we were nowhere near the place, hello. ah. amanda, look how they've grown. and this is for you, young man. come over here next to your uncle alfred. now, let's lean down here and see. i bet you can't guess what it is. well, come on. an airplane? ah, now, what makes you think it's an airplane? look, a fire engine. i wanted an airplane. [gasps] he-- he's just crazy about fire engines. [laughs]

this is for you. thank you, mrs. bellows. you're welcome. he's hungry. yeah, you give him a cracker. ah, look, amanda. she's trying to feed him. [laughs] isn't that sweet? won't you come inside and have a cup of coffee? tony is inside. well, thank you, but we just had some coffee, but anyway. jeannie: please, come in. amanda: oh, thank you, dear. [???] oh. how are you doing, dr. bellows? forgive us for intruding, colonel, but we've just had to see the children. they brought them the most wonderful toys. oh, now, you shouldn't have done that. every time you come here, you spoil them rotten. oh, don't be silly. we enjoy it. they're wonderful children. oh, yes. they take after their father. they take after their mother. let's watch them play. uh, well, how 'bout some coffee? we just had some coffee. have some coffee, sir. you haven't had jeannie's.

oh, no, no, no, it couldn't be, no, no. well, didn't i bring your son a fire engine? yes, why don't we have--? well, i-- both: oh! jeannie, if you knew about this, why didn't you tell me? i did not wish to worry you. huh? worry me? major nel-- uh-- well, look. your son. he's flying through the air, and it's not even an airplane. why, it's a fire engine. make him come down. yes. now, anthony-- jeannie, do something. anthony! anthony! anthony! come down this minute. ] oh! stop it! it's starting again. first him, and now it's his children. listen to your mother. come on, anthony, i'm not kidding. it's one of those things that just happened. now, anthony, you come down right this minute! bellows: oh. [gasps] oh, no. you're not going to get out of it this time, colonel! amanda: get him down! i'll get him over here. anthony, you come down right this minute. listen to your mother. you're going to hurt yourself.

i told you he was hungry. anthony, you come down here! tony: anthony, you come down right this minute. tony: jeannie, would you do something? they're going to court-martial him. they're going to court-martial him! you've seen he's had no luck with his son, but his daughter will be a genie. now, you must tell him that before you marry him. it is so written. oh, yes, yes, i will tell him. good. i must go now, and i'll warn you. i warn you, do not disturb me again. you've got to get hold of tony. what for? what for? to tell him the marriage is off. oh, why would the marriage be off? why would the--? you saw what happened. well, yes, but i will not let it happen. i love him too much. well, if you're not going to tell him, i am.

ow! jeannie! jeannie! [gasps] forgive me, major healey. oh, forgive-- are you kidding? get me down from here right now! as soon as the wedding is over. oh, jeannie, you've got to get me out of this place. oh, i-- you will be all right there until we return. all right? i am truly sorry you cannot be our best man. [yelps] goodbye. goodb-- oh, jeannie, don't go! not now! aagh! jeannie. jeannie? jeannie! i am ready, master. oh. oh, good, good. well, i'll, uh-- i'll pack a suitcase, and we'll be on our way, huh? oh. we are all packed, master. [laughing] yes, i can see that. well, thank you very much. oh, has roger called? oh, no. no. but he ran out of dr. bellows' office this morning,

perhaps he is tied up. hm? yeah, yeah. well, he probably found that girl's phone number, huh? we'll just have to get along without him. well, that is what i told him. huh? oh, nothing. okay. [???] the man from u.n.c.l.e. always gets out of these things. okay, jeannie, i'm ready. shall i blink us to maryland? [chuckling] no. no. we're gonna fly to maryland. from now on, i don't want you to use anymore tricks. no. in a few hours, you're not gonna be a genie anymore. and you may as well start getting used to it. yes, master. okay. oh, i have waited so long for this. mrs. anthony nelson. we should've done this a long time ago. oh, i want to make you a good wife. i have a feeling we're not gonna have a worry in the world.

i also have a feeling that something really important hung him up. [screaming] oh, jeannie, wait till i get my hands on you. oh, what am i calling her for? jeannie, jeannie, she's not gonna help me. haji. haji! haji! ah, you can't hear me, can you? you want to know why? because you're deaf! you're a deaf, dirty old man! old man! and you're a coward, you hear? a coward! boy, do you know what's gonna happen when i get my hands on you? now we shall see who is the coward. i'll tell you who's the coward. i am, but at least i'm not like a genie, i keep my word. are you saying that a genie does not keep his word? you told jeannie she couldn't marry tony unless she told him one of his kids was gonna be a genie. that

yeah, but she erased it. she's getting married, and she didn't tell him. [???]

he doesn't answer. i did not think he would. let us go, master. this is not like roger. we must not miss the plane. you're right. [chuckles] lways right. [giggles] h-haji. uh, we were just leaving. where are you going? to maryland. um, to get married. has she told you about your children? well, what about my children? tell him. well, some of our children may be genies. "some of our children may be genies"? some of our children-- are you sure?

can you imagine what chaos life is gonna be with a bunch of little genies around? you are my favorite genie and an adorable child, but do not bother me again. jeannie. are you all right? are you all right? i will go unpack, master. oh, jeannie, i'm sorry, but-- well, you should've told me. yes, master. you understand, don't you? yes, master. roger. yeah. i forgot major healey! oh! [yelps] major healey! roger? roger: oh, is that you, tony? hey, that haji isn't such a bad guy after all. i asked him for sally's phone number, and look what he gave me.

mm. mm. oh, hi, jeannie. would you like a marshmallow? you mean, dr. bellows invited himself for dinner tonight at your place? yeah. he's looking for jeannie. oh, well, don't let him come. don't you see? it's a trap. he's not hungry. he's looking for jeannie. wait a minute. you know and you're not gonna stop him? oh, don't worry. i'm giving a dinner party tonight. and dr. bellows and his wife are coming, and i want you to come and bring a girl. okay, but who--? who are you gonna bring? kathryn golato. ryn-- you haven't seen her in ages. yeah, well, i'm seeing her tonight. what about jeannie? what's gonna happen when she finds another girl's at your house for dinner? yeah. don't worry about jeannie.

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hello, master. you are home early. yeah. well, tonight's the big night. the big night? yeah-- uh, you remember, you said you wanted to see a play called the tales of the arabian nights? yes? well, you have a front row seat. oh, master! and i'm gonna let you drive the car tonight. you are going to let me drive--? you are not going with me? no, no. uh, i'm afraid not. oh, but why? dr. bellows has given me a lot of paperwork to do tonight, that, uh-- i'm gonna be kind of-- i don't want you to miss this treat. oh, but i do not mind. i will keep you company this evening, and-- and we will see the play some other night. uh, no, no. it-- it's just playing the one night in town. i wouldn't want you to miss it. i'll just be at home doing a lot of dull paperwork. oh, master, you are sure you would not mind if i went alone?

my master is such a sweet, darling liar! now, jeannie, take it easy. don't get excited. why does major nelson want to get rid of me tonight? well, he doesn't wanna get rid of you. it's just, he wants you to see the arabian nights. it's-- it's about your own hometown. he is trying to trick me, but you will tell me the truth. me? me--? well, i am telling you the truth. i would never-- jeannie, what are you doing? i am waiting for you to tell me why major nelson does not want me around tonight. ou. you know that i would never lie-- jeannie, you've gotta stop being so suspicious. i mean, that's not like you to-- jeannie, what are you doing to me? now, wait a minute. you know i'm telling you the truth. i would never lie to you. i never lied to you in my-- oh! he doesn't want you around the house tonight because he's inviting dr. bellows and his wife to dinner. ooh!

oh, major healey-- dr. bellows, i'm getting ready for the big race. you lied to me. no, no, i didn't, jeannie. i said i was gonna be busy tonight, and i am. having a dinner party. who told you? ot a dinner party. it's-- well, it's just dr. bellows and his wife, and roger and a girlfriend coming over for a little bite to eat, that's all. please let me stay. i will hide. hide--? well, i can't let you stay, jeannie. you see, mrs. bellows is a very suspicious woman, and she's coming here looking for trouble. if you're gonna be here, she's gonna find it. oh, but who will cook your dinner? i've hired a sweet, little old lady to come in and fix it. oh, well, no one can cook a meal like i can, master. you want-- yeah, honestly, don't-- don't-- don't worry about it. it's okay.

oh, no, no, no, really. that's sweet of you, jeannie, but, y-you know if you don't hurry, you're gonna be late for that play. very well, master. hee-hee! good. thanks... jeannie? jeannie? hello, kathryn. did anyone come in here? no, darling. were you expecting someone? no, no, no. kathryn: you'll never know how pleased i was to see you after all these months. tony: oh? kathryn: why? why? oh, i got hungry. [both laugh] did you? yeah. you're one of the best cooks i've ever known. you know, i'm good at anything i'm interested in. oh! well, i-- i don't wanna keep you from your work. uh, i want this dinner to be particularly smashing tonight. it's going to be. [tony chuckles]

hey, that's good spaghetti sauce. [giggles] well, i-- i better go get ready for our-- our guests. [giggles] [doorbell rings] roger: tony, tony. hi, roge. hello. hi, i'm pauline abernathy. very nice to meet you-- ooh, hors d'oeuvres. hey, she's all right, huh? yeah. she's a skydiver. i'm sorry about what happened with jeannie this afternoon. i would have held out longer, but i started to catch cold. hing worked out. you mean you got her to go to the theater even after she knew? that's right. oh, boy. you should write an encyclopedia on women. [doorbell rings] that's probably dr. bellows. hang on. dr. bellows. good evening, major nelson. hello, major. oh, you're a darling to have us over on such short notice. is this where i put my wrap? amanda, you don't have a wrap.

i left my wrap in the car, didn't i, dear? uh, amanda, shall we join the others? oh, yes, yes. uh... uh, miss abernathy, uh, this is mrs. bellows and dr. bellows. how do you do? hello. oh, you must think we're terribly rude inviting ourselves over for dinner like this. but i simply had to see how a bachelor was going to handle a dinner party on such short notice. oh, i have a friend that drops in from time to time to cook for me. i'd like to meet your friend. oh, would you, sir? uh, kathryn? yes? i'd like you to meet the bellows. hi, kathryn. uh, this is kathryn golato, mrs. bellows. how do you do? ah, dr. bellows. how do you do? ah, how do you do? so you're the girl who's putting weight on our major? putting weight? yeah, well, yes. she's one of the best cooks in cocoa beach. yeah. wait'll you taste her cooking. what are we having? uh, what kathryn usually prepares for me. a real french dinner. italian dinner. uh, an italian dinner, french style.

yes. thank you. so that's the answer. uh, the answer? hmm. does she cook for you often, major? oh, yes. all the time. all the time. tony, how do you turn on the oven? yes. excuse me for just a moment, please? ah, she always has a hard time r-remembering how to turn it on. you know, darling, my woman's intuition tells me we're going to be, uh, awfully glad we came. heh. [indistinct chatter] mmm. terrific tomato juice. well, uh, whatever she's cooking out there, it sure smells good. ha-ha-ha! wait'll you taste it. bellows: mmm. i've always loved italian-french cooking.

here you are. oh, you all go ahead. don't wait for me. ah! pauline: it simply looks marvelous. well, you certainly gain a lot of weight on-- on food like this. so much for a woman's intuition. hmm. mmm, good, good. good, real good. it is good, isn't it? i don't know when i've tasted anything like it. i don't know either. i'm sure of one thing. what's that, my dear? it'll teach you to pay more attention to my intuition. i'll get the dessert. oh, could we have some water too, please? bellows: oh, yes. i'd like some more water myself.

oh, well, yeah, wait-- wait'll you, uh, see the souffl?. it's light as a feather. oh. tony, could you take this, please? it's hot. okay. i'll get the forks. all right. yes, sir. light as a feather. ah. excuse me. [whispers] jeannie, i know you're in here. come on out. do you know what you've done to me? you've ruined me, that's what you've done to me. you did this deliberately, didn't you? huh? you can't have just everything go right, can you? you-- you know what your problem is? you're-- you're jealous. and you're interfering, and-- would you like a cup of coffee, sir?

my stove? no. it's just an ordinary, everyday-- how 'bout some mock turtle soup? hm. in this house, anything could be anything. one thing i'm sure of, you're not gaining any weight on this food. there's more here than meets the eye, and i'm going to find out what it is. oh, it's nothing, really, sir. bellows: then how do you explain the fact that you live here all alone and you're gaining weight? well, it's, uh-- it's the desserts i eat. i'm very big on desserts. now... shall we, uh, serve the other people? beautiful, isn't it? thank you. mmm. amanda: this is the most delicious cake i've ever tasted in my whole life. it's fantastic. mm, delicious. well, i-i must warn you, it's very fattening. who cares? major, i owe you an apology. if i ate desserts like this, i think i'd gain weight too.

everybody makes mistakes. i must have this recipe. i'd like it myself. what do you mean? you didn't bake it? no. didn't come from any bakery. who baked it? oh, i baked it. i baked it. oh, major, how marvelous. but, you know, there's a flavor in there i can't quite identify. what is it? oh, i'm-- i'm sorry. uh, this recipe has been passed down from generation to generation in my family. if i, uh-- if i disclosed it, i would be breaking an oath. i understand. can i take a piece home with me? oh, of course. for my mommy. tony: for your mommy? oh, of course. yes, um... after dinner, would anyone like to play bridge or, uh, poker? let's play jacks. jacks? i wanna play jacks. roger: you wanna play jacks? huh! i don't wanna play jacks. i wanna play tag.

well, let's play post office. i want more cake. more cake. more cake. [indistinct chatter] wait a minute. you're it, right? [all giggling & shouting]

roger, see that the girls get home all right, huh? okay. i loved your party, tony. bye. bye-bye. roger: come on, kathy. ooh! i had a real good time. i'm glad you could come. i am too. it was keen. you'll-- you'll be able to make it home all right, won't you? oh, sure, we just live down the block. we'll-- we'll run all the way. heh! i'll race you home. amanda: last one home's a dirty bird. bellows: i don't wanna race. i'm tired. amanda: no wonder you're tired. i saw you playing spin the bottle with that rotten katy golato. yeah? and i saw you playing hopscotch with roger healey. i did not. you did too.

not! bellows: you did too! jeannie? send him in. dr. bellows? oh. yes? i'm charles fakeling with the national bureau of pure food and drugs. hmm. yes, mr. fakeling. um, what can i do for you? you do have a top security clearance, don't you, doctor? of course. doctor, does your wife cook? uh... we eat out most of the time. do you like to cook? well, i-- i barbecue occasionally, but-- well, i don't see any need-- do you like to bake? bake? cakes?

will you tell me what this is about? a few days ago, your wife brought a piece of cake into a laboratory in cocoa beach to have analyzed. i know. but i don't see what that's gotta do with you. she simply wanted to know the ingredients, so she could-- that's what brought me here, doctor. one of the ingredients. i don't understand. we can't identify it. heh-heh. surely our laboratory here will help you out. we tried them. we also tried the lab at the cia and the fbi. there's something very unusual about this ingredient. it doesn't respond to any of our known tests. that's incredible. i'll tell you something even more incredible:

that this unknown ingredient is similar in molecular structure to mepatharin. mepatharin? i'm not familiar with it. you know that project they're working on to arrest old age? oh, of course. and that isn't all. they think this substance will do even more than that. they think it will restore youth. they think there's some kind of property in it that arrests deterioration. doctor, this could be one of the major breakthroughs of our generation. i want to know where that substance came from. so do i. now, hm-hm, come along. i'm going to take you to the one man who can tell us. come.

i am cleaning the closet, master. yeah, well, i can see that. you do not need any of these old things. yeah. what are you--? look, there's my best squash racket. oh, master, when was this taken? uh, oh, my graduation in high school. oh, you were so handsome. uh, yeah. do you know what you did to--? do you have any pictures of yourself when you were younger? no, jeannie. they're not-- my mother has 'em. i am sure that you were adorable. yes, i'm sure-- i can just see you now. dressed in a cute, little outfit with a-- a collar and a hat. oh! e. awww. aw, what? [doorbell rings] thanks, jeannie. yes? oh, hello, dr. bellows.

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just sit down here, and we'll discuss this rationally. thank you. uh, believe me, sir, if i knew how to stop old age, i'd tell you. i'd tell you. major nelson, look at yourself. you look 20 years younger. eh, 20 years younger than what? why are you dressed that way? yes... yeah, uh... if you'll give us this formula, you'll be handsomely rewarded. i'm prepared to offer you $100,000, plus an equitable royalty arrangement. yeah, well, sir, i'm not interested in the money. i'm not interested in the money, sir. i would give it to you free, if i-- if i could. i-- i just can't. of course. shall we say $200,000, plus a royalty arrangement? dr. bellows, would you explain to him. major nelson, the ingredient was in your cake. would you like to explain that? i certainly would. but i can't. but my theory is, sir, that, uh, when mrs. bellows took that piece of cake

poured the ingredients that you're looking for into the cake, and, uh-- major, heh-heh, you can do better than that. we're wasting our time. if you change your mind, get in touch with me. you could do your country a great service. ah, major, you-- you could do yourself a big service too. ow morning. yes, sir. jeannie! yes, master. oh. jeannie, i want you to bake me a cake. a cake? yeah. you have had enough sweets for one day. what you need is a nice, hot bowl of chicken soup. tony: i don't want any chicken soup. yes, chicken soup. jeannie! i want you to-- remember that cake you baked for me? yes?

oh, which one? well, i-- i don't know which one. it was your cake. oh, but you see, master, i never follow a recipe. i believe the best cooks have an instinct. if you follow a recipe-- it's very important that you remember every ingredient that went into it. it's very important. it is? you see, without knowing it, you've discovered the fountain of youth. uh, there was something in that cake that made people young again. well, uh, let's see. uh, was it the flour? i don't know. no, no, no. wait a minute. i think i have it. okay. i knew you wouldn't let me down. does that look like it, master? yeah, oh, yes, it certainly does. hey, that is beautiful. i-i-i'm gonna cut it now. jeannie, you're the best genie a master ever had. [chuckling] oh. do you know what this means? nobody's ever gonna get old again. mm-hm. how does it taste, master? oh, no. no. jeannie! [gasps] oh! oh!

oh. do something. ? green acres is the place to be ? ? farm livin' is the life for me ? ? keep manhattan, just give me that countryside ? ? new york is where i'd rather stay ? ? i get allergic smelling hay ? ? i just adore a penthouse view ? ? darling, i love you, but give me park avenue ? ? the chores ? ? the stores ?