[ music ]

we are back, thank you. >> hello! >> okay. if you're just joining us, mr. jack paar is here tonight. elaine degeneres, stephen lang. what were you doing in new york? >> i was with the rochester philharmonic orchestra for a few days. >> just as a guest, or did you play with them, or what? >> yes, i played. did a concerto-- >> in rochester? >> did a little conducting and-- >> in rochester? >> yes, and it was very, very cold. >> it stays cold in rochester about when? next june? something like that? summer is on july 4th. [ laughter ] >> anyway, how many of you remember when you were in school, uh, and you would do something-- you got caught goofing off or something, and the teacher would write it down and say, "this will become part of your permanent record." remember that? [ applause ] >> that happened to me. >> did you ever have visions years later, your boss calling you in and saying-- >> yes. >> "we just looked at your permanent record--" [ laughter ] "you threw a sandwich at peggy malkovich in the 3rd grade?"

but teachers did that to kind of control you. they'd say-- and you thought forever, this would be part of your permanent record. well, thanks to the family educational rights and privacy act, you have the right to send away for a copy of your record. did you know that? schools usually keep them on microfilm, and they charge a few dollars for the services. and besides your grades, the permanent record, uh, has your teacher's comments about the way you behaved in school, intelligence tests, your exams and so forth. we sent t the permanent records-- [ laughter ] see, right here, folks. it says right here "official" permanent records of some well-known people and we have excerpt-- excerpted or excerpted? >> excerpted. >> yes. some comments from the school records of some very famous people. for example, here's one about geraldo rivera-- [ laughter ] april 17th, 1951,

when we called his home, he told us he tried to go to school but couldn't find it." [ laughter ] now, you all know roger ebert? >> yes. >> film critic. all right, here's what they said about roger. "roger's a bright boy, but i've had problems with him. yesterday, he gave a scathing critique of my history lesson. luckily, the siskel boy stood up and disagreed with him-- [ laughter ] saying my presentation had warmth and humor and a happy ending, and calling roger a four-eyed [ laughter ] now, we sent back to iowa-- ronald reagan went to a small school in iowa as a youngster. it says, "today, ronald was kept after school for selling spare spitballs to students at a rival school." [ laughter ] [ applause ] just reading the official

muammar gaddafi-- this was not easy to get, but we got it. [ laughter ] here's what they said about him-- 7th grade-- "muammar is an eager pupil, but he does have a nasty tendency to slice the throats of the cafeteria ladies... [ laughter ] on the days we have lima beans." [ laughter ] even then. don king-- here's what they said about don-- "don i that can be disruptive. he spends all his playground time arranging fights between the other boys. [ laughter ] during his infamous scrimmage in the gymage the other day, i had to drag him to the principal's office by the hair. [ laughter ] and i'm worried because it hasn't gone down yet." [ laughter ] [ applause ] ted turner...

up his crayons when he tried to color a visiting nun." [ laughter ] that's really an inside joke. here's one about our attorney general-- our now attorney general, ed meese... "miss thompson, the librarian, caught eddy committing an act of vandalism. he'd grabbed a book on creation-- turned to the picture of adam and eve and the fig leaves, and drew dr. denton pajamas on them." [ laughter ] meese wasn't even funny when he was in school. what about fidel castro? not easy to get these. right here we have official-- [ laughter ] "fidel was caught, once again, behind the gym smoking a cigar. we feel if he keeps this up, it will stunt his growth and he will become a communist." [ laughter ] [ applause ] vincent price--

the circulation of blood, marred only by the repeated use of the phrase, 'plump, luscious, throbbing neck veins.' " [ laughter ] would you like to know what they said about bruce springsteen when he-- >> yes. >> was at school? all right. "bruce is a conscientious, soft-spoken boy. but if you value your hearing, don't ask him where he was born." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "school records were not available. destroyed in the great fire in rome." [ laughter ] [ applause ] one about ed. i wish ed was here, we could read this. ed mcmahon, "edward, only in grade 2, but already he has a clear idea of what he wants to achieve in life-- drinking age." [ laughter ] and somebody-- [ applause ] they even sent away for some of my records

that would be about 8 years old, right? "john was kept after school for carving his girlfriend's initials into his desk. john will need a new desk because his girlfriend later had her lawyer take possession of it." [ laughter ] [ applause ] those are real, official! this is official. anyway, if you join us, we have stephen lang from "crime story," comedienne elaine degeneres, and in just a moment, mr. jack paar will join us. so stay where you are.

[ music ] [ applause ] all right, we're back. sure, sure thing. my next guest is a very talented actor. he received a dramadous-- a dramadous-- dramadous-- dramadery-- no. a drama desk nomination for his work in "death of a salesman" on broadway. he also starred in a television version, and he's one of the stars of the television series "crime story," which apparently has been on fridays-- ten-- it's going to move to-- it's going to move to fridays. it wasn't on fridays. it's moving-- what the hell am i talking about? [ laughter ] will move to fridays at 10 on nbc, beginning december the 5th. would you welcome stephen lang? [ music ]

>> thank you. >> how are you? >> i'm good. >> good to meet you. >> my name is steve allen. >> steve-- [ making strange sound ] >> do you go back-- you don't go back that far-- >> no. >> to the early days of steve allen? >> no. >> you probably-- i was talking with jack paar before the show, and jack was very concerned. he says, "you know, there's a--" jack always talks this way. he says, "there's a lot of people out there who are not going to remember me at all." so, you don't go that far back, do you? >> no, but, it's okay, nobody remembers me, anyway. >> yeah. >> i'm kind of new. >> yeah. you-- broadway, di >> sure did. >> yeah. >> i did it with dustin hoffman and john malkovich and-- >> yeah, and a tv version also? fascinating play. how did it-- i saw it on television-- i didn't see the broadway play. did it transpose as well to television, or is the theater-- it's always-- it's always tough sometimes to transpose something-- >> yeah. well, we redid it completely. >> right. >> i mean, we played it about 250 times on broadway-- >> right. >> and you know, you find out what works on stage doesn't necessarily work on film.

who is to some extent, the comic relief in the play, and you know, comedy on stage is very, very different than comedy on film. >> right. >> and dustin, who is-- i would characterize as the pete rose of acting-- he's a relentless actor-- was really after me the whole time to change my performance to gear it towards film. >> right. >> that was difficult after having done it, you know, so many times on stage. >> do you find doing something like that on broadway night after night, that the audience reaction will be different, even though you're essentially doing the same lines? >> yeah. >> and you try to figure out why that is? >> yeah, it's different but with this play, it was always with "salesman," which i think is the greatest american play-- >> yeah. >> it was always-- it was a monumental reaction we had every night. they react differently to the nuances of the play. >> right. >> but we had-- i never was involved in something that had such a special relationship with an audience because-- and-- and every night, we were reluctant to let that relationship go. >> yeah.

>> somebody told me-- in relation to that, hoffman would come out and make very long curtain speeches. >> well, as i said, he was reluctant to let the audience relationship end, and so, he would go out after we'd taken our bows and make a little speech. talk about something that happened-- it first happened in chicago. >> right. >> and it was a night that ethel merman had passed away, and he gave an impromptu eulogy to ethel merman that was kind of touching. >> right. >> and he enjoyed it so much that he began making impromptu speeches, uh, >> about what? just anything that came-- >> well, if somebody had a birthday-- a cast member-- he'd point it out to the audience, and we'd get applause. if somebody had an aunt visiting from iowa, he'd introduce her. someone-- it was dentist's son, had a bar mitzvah-- >> he would talk about-- >> he'd point that out. >> he just like to-- >> just liked that relationship, yeah. >> what's your background? originally. >> i'm from new york city. >> yeah. >> from queens. [ applause ] yeah. thank you. yeah. home of the championship

>> oh, yeah. [ applause ] you were probably too young to remember the mets when they were the laughing stock of baseball. >> not at all! [ laughter ] >> no, really. >> not at all-- 1962. i was there at the beginning, and-- >> marv throneberry? >> marvelous marv, yeah, elio chacon, pumpsie green-- >> and now they're the champions. >> i remember at one point, the mets carried four catchers and they had, uh, chris cannizzaro, who could throw. >> right. >> and they had jesse gonder, who could hit, and they had norm sherry, who could catch the ball. and they had choo-choo coleman, who couldn'to so he started. [ laughter ] >> what did you do, now-- i've always asked actors who do this-- what you do when you're between-- as they say, at liberty? what kind of jobs have you had? >> you know those-- like, poles, along the roads? little guardrails? >> yeah. >> i'd paint them. >> wow. [ laughter ] >> that was me. >> that was you? >> yeah, i painted them, yup. and, uh... oh god, what else did i do? i used to work at a moving company. which is an interesting thing

is probably the most dramatic and the most traumatic-- >> right. >> experience in a person's year, probably. and so, i'd see an awful lot of drama and trauma. and i could always... i can tell ya two things about moving. one is that the husband's never home for it, ever. >> that's interesting. i didn't know that. >> and the other thing is, you can always tell if it's a company move, because if it's a company move, they will take the dirt from the backyard. [ laughter ] >> 'cause that says we'll move you and your belongings to your new job. >> everything. i've moved dirt. i've moved trees. i've moved garbage. but i think probably the most-- the job i liked best is one i didn't continue on, was cabbing. i think every actor should drive a cab. >> that's what they say because you probably can draw on more experiences later on in acting and meet all different kinds of people. >> i didn't get too far with it. what happened was, i was in philadelphia at the time, and you had to take a test-- >> philly's great too. >> i had to take a-- you had to take a test, and the test consisted of a day of classes--

if you want to get from this hotel to the airport. and then at the end of the day, you go with the instructor, who's a cabbie emeritus-- >> right. >> i guess. and he give you a-- you take a written exam. and it's a 25-question exam and he gave us all pencils and paper, and it was 1 to 25, and he says, "what i'm going to do is i'm going to-- read the question to you, and you will pick a,b,c, or d-- multiple choice, but to save time, i'm going to give you the answer to put in." the question, and then he'd give us the answer. and so, that was the test for being a cabbie. but the sad thing is, a couple of guys flunked. [ laughter ] >> even with all of that? >> but i got most of them right. >> yeah. [ laughter ] i don't want to embarrass you, but there was a-- was it "60 minutes" that did the profile of your father? >> yeah. >> eugene lang? >> yeah, it sure is, yeah. >> he did a very interesting thing-- >> yeah. >> your father, if i remember the story.

of new york? >> p.s. 121, it's an elementary school up in east harlem, and he graduated there about 50 years ago. and now he's a self-made man, and about in 1981, he was asked to be the commencement speaker at the 6th grade graduation. >> right. >> and he went up there and he realized as he was going to talk about these kids-- it's primarily a black and hispanic school now-- but he was about to say to them, which is basically, you know-- >> you are the future! >> try, try, try! >> right. >> everything was going to be regarded as a lot of irrelevant crap by then. >> right. >> so, inspi and began talking to them about the necessity of dreaming, and out of that came, he said, "you know, if you can make it-- if you make it through high school, i guarantee that every one of you will have an opportunity to go to college because i'll put you through." the words just came out. and that was, uh... and you know, in new york, nationally, we have over a 50% dropout rate-- yeah. >> and in ghettos, it's much, much higher than that. but this particular group of kids-- we have about a--

and who are going to go on-- >> because your dad agreed to pay for their high school education and if they finish that to go on to-- >> yeah, because somebody cared about them and they're going to-- >> and he keeps in touch. [ applause ] not only does he do that, but he keeps in touch with them. >> absolutely. >> yeah. yeah, we have to cut away. we'll be right back.

[ music ] [ applause ] oh, hello there. we are back. anyway, your show is having big success. "crime story" is going to move to ten on friday-- are you enjoying that? >> yeah, very much. we've been on a tough timeslot-- >> yeah. >> but we've got--

viewers and they're moving us. nbc has the grace and the confidence to move us right after "miami vice." >> i wish you much luck with it. >> thank you very much. >> thank you for being here, stephen. >> thank you. >> my apologies to, uh-- ellen degeneres, who was supposed to be with us tonight, and we've asked her to join us when she can, i would like to mention where she's going to be. she'll be appearing at the punchline in san francisco, the 3rd of december to the 6th, and at the improv in dallas-- december the 9th through the 14th. so, ellen, come back with us soon. [ music ] my thanks to jack paar, thank you. and we'll see you tomorrow night. [ applause ]

>> i'm humbled by that applause. ? come and knock on our door ? ? come and knock on our door ? ? we've been waitin' for you ? ? we've been waitin' for you ? ? where the kisses are hers and hers and his ? ? three's company, too ? ? come and dance on our floor ? ? come and dance on our floor ? ? take a step that is new ? ? take a step that is new ? ? we've a lovable space that needs your face ? ? three's company, too ? ? down at our rendezvous ? ? down at our rendezvous ?

( telephone ringing ) i got it! hello? mom, hi! and how are you? oh, good. how are things back home? you're where? and dad's with you? ( chuckling ): how nice. uh, what? no, no, no, mother. mother, you can't come here. i'm going out. but could i meet you somewhere? mom, hey, don't hang up. mom, don't hang... hey, janet, who's that? that was my parents. calling from indiana? no. from two blocks away and they're coming over.

in big trouble now. what do you mean? ever since i moved away from home. my parents have been on my back to get married. lots of parents are like that. but my parents are absolute fanatics about it. especially after the baby came. the ba... janet. jack, please. my sister had a baby. oh, that's right. last month, my father's ulcer starts really acting up and so my mom says the reason my dad's ulcer is acting up is because he worries about me all the time. so i got really upset when we were talking and i ended up saying, "tell him i'm married" and she did. ( laughing ) wait. you mean, that... that my parents think i'm married. well, janet, congratulations. who's the lucky guy? you are. ( coughs ) me? why me? i wasn't about to marry a total stranger. oh, jack, please, can't you just play along?

you'll hardly have to see them at all. i have a date with shelley green. she's driving all the way in from oxnard. can't you call her?! if she had a phone in her car. ( doorbell rings ) jack, that's them. please don't let me down! oh, please, jack! all right, all right! oh, thank you. remember, you'll have to tell them the truth sooner or later. i will... later. oh, janet! oh, honey! oh, hi! oh, mother. oh, daddy. come in. hello, sir. oh... very nice! oh, you... you look wonderful, dear. marriage must be agreeing with you. and you, you must be janet's husband. that's what janet told me. well, why don't we all sit down? honey, could you pull out that orange chair for daddy?

here we go. let me just get this old chair. fix the pillow here for you. is there anything i can get for you? oh, no thanks, dear. lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy. so, janet tells us you're a cook. oh, daddy, not a cook. jack is a chef. he graduated at the top of his class. every restaurant in town is begging him to work for them. what restaurant are you cooking in now? well, you might say the begging's still going on. you mean, you're unemployed? how do you manage? well, mom, i still have my job at the flower shop. you're supporting him? well, somebody has to pay the rent. leave them alone. now, just be thankful that janet finally got married. well, i am. though, i do wish they had

uh, let... daddy, mother... nobody was invited to this wedding because we eloped. oh, how romantic. where did you go? tijuana. las vegas. well, now, what difference does it make, ruth? they're married. they're happy. we're happy. everybody's happy. it's a lovely purse you have there. for dinner tonight? i can't. i have a date. a, uh... a date? a date with the guys. it's my bowling night. ( laughing ) oh, but, darling, you could cancel that if you really wanted to couldn't you, snookems? i want to. i want to. ( doorbell ringing ) excuse me. jackie! great news!

look, look, look, look. if we play our cards right i think we could be the water boys. larry, i'd like you to meet janet's parents. her parents? mom, daddy, this is our neighbor larry. look, uh, about those wet t-shirts the, uh, contestants are all the tiny tots from the neighborhood-- uh, pee wee football, little league. larry, larry, larry. i want you folks to know that you have one heck of a girl here. and in spite of how it looks there is absolutely nothing going on between these two. well, we were sort of hoping there would be. janet, i didn't know your parents were so liberal. could i see you outside? you wouldn't happen to have any other daughters lying around? out of doors. where you going, honey?

what i'm going to do. i got a date tonight with a gorgeous red-head. have you lost your memory? she's driving in from oxnard. she'd already left. i can't stop her. so you got to go out with her tonight. you not only lost your memory you lost your mind. listen, her name is shelley greene. she's fantastic. i'm supposed to meet her at the chez robaire restaurant at 8:00. yeah, got you. there's got to be a catch to this. why can't you make the date with shelley? 'cause janet told... jack, get back in here. if i didn't know you two better i'd think you were married. hi. well, it's all set. larry's going to take my place at the bowling team tonight. hope he scores well. i hope he doesn't. i mean, i'll lose my place on the team if he does. so, so... sure. well, son...

uh, isn't it about time you opened our wedding present? the wedding pre...? the wedding... oh, over here. yes. we're hoping you'll be needing it soon. very soon. oh, daddy. oh... oh. oh, janet... look. it's just what we needed. a giant picnic basket. honey. you're so cute. this isn't a picnic basket. it's a bassinet. you put a baby in it. why would we want to take a baby along on a picnic? ( whistling "rock-a-bye baby" ) no. no, thanks. jack, no, no. jack, jack, jack. well, you do want children, don't you? well, of course. daddy, sure we do. we've just been married a month, though. but you are trying? oh, he tries.

doesn't seem to be any better at that than he is at finding a job. ruth, please. ( doorbell rings ) i'll get that. hi, janet. i'm here to fix that leaky faucet. mr. furley, couldn't you come back later? oh, i'm sorry. i didn't realize you had company. oh, we're janet's parents. really? well, of all things. how do you do? i'm ralph furley, the kids' landlord. rove all the way from indiana to see our daughter and our new son-in-law, jack. well, isn't that nice? i hope you enjoy your stay. did you say "son-in-law"? and we can't wait for these two kids to get together and fill that bassinet. boy, you could sell tickets to that one. excuse me, mr. furley. i hear the faucet calling. ( laughing ): did you hear that?

's the funniest thing i ever heard. you're not really, are you? of course not. she only told her parents she was married. to you? boy, talk about your fairy tales. mr. furley, marriage is very important to janet's parents. if they found out the truth, it would break their hearts. ah, listen, don't you worry. i'll fix everything. wait, wait, wait. listen, you don't realize how lucky you are to be getting a son-in-law like jack. he is one fine guy. oh, you don't have to sell jack to me. i can see he's a man's man. how'd you know? thanks a lot, mr. furley. you know, it isn't every day that a guy like jack gets married. well, i should hope not. he was a playboy. had girls over all the time. i never thought he'd settle down with just one. well, i hope he's changed. yeah, if you only knew how much.

i'll see you all. nice meeting you. ( furley laughs loudly ) what a strange man. well, i'm dying to see the rest of your apartment. oh, is this your bedroom? yes. no, don't go in there, mom! don't go in here. twin beds? why on earth would you have twin beds? actually, mom, we only use that one. well, then, why do you have this one? in case we wear that one out. why don't i make some coffee? mother. honey. ruth: oh. what's in there? that's, uh... that's our guest room. hi, everybody. i'm home. who's she? that's our guest. our border. she rents that room. oh, roland, they're so poor they have to take in a border.

cindy. cindy, darling i would like for you to meet my parents. they have come all the way from indiana just to meet my husband, jack. your husband? jack. mother and daddy you all look real tired. i'm sure you want to get on down to that hotel and settle in. well, your mother and i could use a little nap before dinner. it's just too, too bad that we don't have the room here. because if we did you could just spend the night with us. yeah, it's just too, too bad. no, we don't, cindy. no. jack's right. silly cindy. see, if my parents slept in your bed where on earth would you sleep? well, i'll sleep... right on the couch. but where will you sleep? we'll sleep where we always sleep. huh? in our own cozy little bed. oh.

was she mad at me. her face was flushed. her mouth was curved into a snarl. her eyes were two narrow little slits. yeah. just like that. of all the dumb, stupid stunts. hi, cindy. feeling better? of all the dumb, stupid stunts. what did you guys do, compare notes? my life. i said i was sorry. what do you want me to do, kill myself? it would be a start. winston thinks i'm going to marry him. now what i supposed to do? ( doorbell ringing ) it's him. i'll get rid of him. i'll just tell him to leave. winston has got to be told that cindy never wants to see him again and this time it's got to be done right. gotcha. so i will do it. all right, winston cindy never wants to see you again...

would you look at the size of that rock! cindy, come here. you've got to see this. that's telling him, janet. get over here. i hope you like it. winston... i know it's not much but it's the largest one they had. i reserved a church for tonight. it wasn't easy, but the bishop owes me a favor. as a matter of fact, so does god. i'm not getting married. because you don't have a wedding gown. we're going to fix that. madame clara. ( whistles ) for the happy and beautiful bride... uh... miss cindy snow our latest and most exclusive designs. ( playing "wedding march" )

a white peau de soie empire waist the bodice is seeded pearls and iridescent stones. the watteau back cascades into a train. the turban will enhance the beauty of any bride. no, winston, no. well, maybe the next one. and here is our guinevere gown. embroidered french lace bodice completely covered in crystal sequins and minute jewels. it has flowing medieval sleeves... and a layered chiffon skirt. jack. aren't you going to say anything? yeah. i like this one. makes you want to forget the wedding and skip to the honeymoon. our next design is for the gibson girl bride in ivory imported lace. bracelet-length sleeves are overlaid with silk organza.

and flowers top a finger-length veil. ( whispering ): my name is jack tripper. i'll see you later, okay? maybe we could... you have to say something to winston. yeah. you're right. excuse me. look, winston... yes, jack? you're not going to want to go through with the ceremony after you hear what i'm about to say. we lied to you. i'm not cindy's brother. i already knew that. you did? because of your low forehead and your little beady eyes. well, that's the one i'm hoping you pick. it's my favorite. janet, help me! oh, winston, please try to understand. excuse me. do you live in the 213 area code? good heavens!

that'll come in time. no. never, never, never! pre-wedding nerves. all my wives had them except... madame clara, i'm going to pick out the gown myself. i want it delivered immediately. tell cindy i'm going to pick her up at 7:30. oh, it's such a nice change marrying a girl who can wear white. ahh! i was just trying to... thank you. good-bye. don't you realize we have a problem on our hands? yes. we've got to get rid of that guy before it's too late. i've got a plan, jack. i think i know how to get rid of winston. great. how? say, jan, what's the name... what is the name of that place where you work? it is the arcade flower shop, winston

you're going to buy the shop? yes. for you. a little gift for the maid of honor. well, i think you're going to make a wonderful owner. see you in church. my own shop. okay, janet, what about your plan? what plan? oh, what am i going to do? ave i been thinking? oh, jack, shame on me. cindy, listen up here. i know exactly how to get rid of winston. we are going to make him think that there's something wrong with you. oh, janet, that's wonderful! what's wrong with me? we'll tell him that there's insanity in your family. oh, i don't think he'd believe that. why not? he met your brother jack, didn't he? oh, i don't think it would... okay, okay. i'll think of something. wait a minute. i just remembered something.

what we're going to do... cindy, would you please just stop fussing and get out here? you look beautiful. never mind that. do you think it will work? of course it will work. but winston will be here soon and where's jack? cindy, please don't worry. what if mr. and mrs. harris say no to him? they owe me a big favor. ( doorbell ringing ) oh, no. it's him. cindy, please do everything the way we planned and it's going to be swell. okay. here we go. hi, winston. cindy's waiting for you. cin... i... i.... does... does... does this mean...? yes, i've decided to marry you. oh, goody! i'm sorry.

it's hard to keep saying no. well, come on, darling, let's go. oh, not so soon. oh, still shy. i like that. come on, come on. no, no, no, i can't. that's why we're getting married-- so you can. i've got to talk to you. i have arranged for the minister to begin promptly at 8:00. it's bad form to arrive in the middle of your own ceremony. no, wait, stop. janet... i have to tell you something first. oh, janet! are you all right? i'm fine. who was at the door? jack! oh, i'm sorry. are you hurt? peachy, just peachy. de nada. cindy, we simply must not be late. all right, winston. but first, we have to talk about something. what kept you? they made me stop for ice cream. come on in, kids. say hi to mommy. ( both ): mommy! mommy! of course you want your mommy.

where did they come from? winston, you're getting married and you don't know that? you never told me you were married. ( gasping ): cindy! i told you it was hard to keep saying no. what did you say? are we going on the honeymoon? you'll have to ask your daddy. where are we going, papa? i don't know... don't call me "papa." jack, can we go and play? yes, you can play. here-- christopher likes to play horsey. mustn't touch. no, no, children. children, off. off, child, child. off, off. oh, well, i'm sorry

i cannot stand children. i never could. when i was a child, i couldn't stand me. we did it! it worked! [captioned by the caption center wgbh educational foundation]

you started your report yet? almost. everyone knows a good paper's 30% writing 70% color-coordinating your highlighters. if and when you do start it you'll have a nice, quiet place to work in. zelda and i are taking a trip. is that a euphemism for plastic surgery? we haven't decided where we're vacationing yet although hilda is pushing for atlantis. the kelp is in full bloom. will you be all right alone while we're away? i've never had the house to myself before. i've got to call val. right after i finish my paper. such a good girl. and so trustworthy. what a coincidence.