(70's music) (70's music)

hey, i don't believe it, man. this house--i've never seen it this clean before. that's because it's never been a honeymoon cottage before. honeymoon cottage? yeah. come over here. i got this telegram this morning. here, look at it. hey, what do you know about that? aunt frances finally got married. mrs. rodney victor. it's a beautiful, isn't it? mrs. it sure is. yeah, see they--her and her husband are moving to los angeles. have they found a place to stay yet? no, they'll stay with us till they find something. hey, that's good, pop, because i like aunt frances. yeah, son. i'm telling you, she's the greatest.

, isn't she? oh, yeah, son. she's joan of arc, madame curie, shirley chisholm, and lena horne all rolled up into one. you roll all them into one and you get totie fields. that's funny. yeah, i thought you'd like that one. look here, son. i'll just show you something here in the album book. look here. aw. there's my baby sister right there. yeah, see that. you know, you were more like a father to her than a brother. passed when she was 2 years old so i raised her like she was my own. hey, hey, what is this guy that she's marrying, rodney victor? what does he do for a living. son, i don't know what he does for a living, but it must be something good because frances is too great to settle for anything less than mr. right. [groans] i'll sure be glad when they get here. be like one big happy family. that's good. my house is their house. hey, that's nice of you to say that, pop. my food is their food. hey, that's the way i like to hear my old man talk.

welcome sis and broth. that's not broth. that's bruth. you know, like in brother. well, it looks like broth to me. well, only a real dummy would think that was broth. [car engine] ey for the cab. all right. i'll let you have some. you excited, huh? yeah. you ready? yeah. hurry up. you ready? go ahead. come on. i'm comin'. you look terrific. you really do.

now--now, are you sure your brother won't be upset about me being white? no, i don't think so, but just to be safe, um, turn black. oh, honey. you're so wonderful. i love you. $3.00 oughta cover it. all right. here you go. [knock on door] get the door, son. hurry up and get the door. hi! there she is! oh, frances. in, rodney. oh, fred. oh. oh, fred. it' so good to see you. hello, lamont darling. hello, aunt frances. nice to see you again. hey, rodney! hey, rodney, stop kiddin' around! rodney! hey, just put-- put the bags right down there, driver.

from the airport and the tip, too. thank you. hey, rodney. hey, rodney. hey, frances. hey, what happened? your husband's missing. and hey, buddy, your cab is missing, too. listen, frances, rodney wouldn't be the kind of guy that would steal a cab, would he? uh-uh. fred--fred, this is not the cab driver. i'd like you to meet rodney victor, my husband. my brother-in-law! [screaming] oh, elizabeth. oh, elizabeth, honey, i got to come to you.

oh, oh! uh, if--if you all would excuse me. see, the situation has completely overwhelmed my father and i must calm him down. surprise. oh, shut up. look, don't drink it, pop. i ain't gonna drink it. i'm gonna pour it over my body and strike a match to it. man, that's some shock there, isn't it? holy mackerel. will you look at this, frances? look at this money. your brother must have hit a daily double or perfecta. put that back. put it back. come on over here.

hey, where's my racing form? rodney, nobody's talking about racing. hey, pop, you look frozen. sure i'm frozen. i just got hugged and kissed by snow whitey. i'll be right down. all right, darling. take your time. ahh! caught you, didn't i? what? caught you trying to steal the money we was saving for a stereo. i wasn't stealing it, fred. i was just puttin' it back. see there. see, you was trapped by your own words. the question is, mr. intermarried, how could you possibly be putting it back in there if you didn't take it? ahh. see? case closed. and that's grounds for divorce. and i'm gonna divorce you from my sister by the power vested in these... i gotta tell you something. fred, i gotta tell you, frances said you were funny, but you're hysterical. sis and broth.

um, i like the way you see the humor in my father's stuff, but just for the fun of it, i'd like for you to tell me how you could be puttin' the money back if you didn't take it out of there 'cause i like to laugh, too, you know? ha ha ha. you know those $3.00 he gave me when i was coming in? well--well, i just put it back in the drawer. sure you did. lamont and fred: ahh. were you shocked? oh, no, darlin'. nothin' could ever be wrong as long as i'm alive. everything gonna be all right. so, don't you worry about a thing. you--you just go on upstairs and unpack your suitcase. yes, put i don't want to put you out. you couldn't put me out. you mean all the world to me. now, go on upstairs and take the first bedroom to the left. i'll go get the bags. yeah. and you come on back down and take the first couch to the left. what are you talking about? i'm talkin' about a place for my sister

she'll sleep in your bed, you'll sleep with me, and the couch goes to the man from glad. oh, oh, not to put you out. you two sleep in your own beds and we'll just cuddle up nice and tight right here on this couch. no, no, no. wait a minute. now, it's been all decided, now. look here. now, here's what it is. ok. now, this is all straight, ain't it? this is straight. now, lamont takes the couch. that's fine with me. sounds like a good plan. and--and you and rodney, frances, take my bed. whatever you say, brother. and, uh, rodney, you got the first watch. and from 12:00 midnight till 6:00 in the morning rodney will take the first watch out in the yard. and then i'll come and relieve him with the second watch. you got it clear now? see, and when he comes off his watch, he can sleep here on the couch to keep from waking up frances.

u please tell me what you're talkin' about? i'm talking about the watch. i'm talking about the ghetto. the ghetto. where--where people have to watch their loved ones. you can't close your eyes for one solitary moment and let your loved ones lay there unguarded. i'm gonna have my loved one committed. you're going bananas. you know that, pop. goin' bananas! goin' bananas! wow! that's the horse that's running. oh, i love you, nephew. hey, man. , rodney. not horse racing again. please, honey. no. honey, he can't miss. now, listen, honey. he's gonna be a long shot because of the field, but i know the trainer and he swore the horse couldn't lose. what is he talkin' about? uh, fred, my husband has only one problem. yeah. he's color blind. no, he's a horse player. was, frances. was.

but i've quit, haven't i? oh, well, you have eased off. you really have. but why are you bringing it up now? there's a horse running at santa anita today named goin' bananas. now, he's gonna go off at 10 to one. $100 will get us $1,000. now, i know he's gonna win. i know the trainer, i know the horse, and by sheer coincidence, my dear nephew just said the name. going bananas! honey, it's a sure thing. i'd be willing to bet all their money on it. no, rodney. no. not our money. you ain't gonna put up part of my money on that. come on, brother. nephew. hey, man. say you agree with me. do you? listen, rodney, i'm gonna tell you what frances should have told you a long time ago. uh-oh. what's that? this. i disagree with gambling, i disagree with you marrying my sister, and you disagree with my stomach.

dney! rodney! let him go. let him go. but, fred, he's my husband. would you shut up? will you shut up?

fred, how could you? how could i what? you were cruel to him. i don't blame him for leaving this house. i'm almost tempted to do it myself. oh, honey, don't talk like that. my house is your house. my husband's house is my house wherever it is. oh, i don't know. how could you marry him anyhow? oh, fred. would you try to understand? i love him. he's--he's kind, warm, generous, good-natured, and he loves me. oh, be serious. oh, fred. stop it. you really mean, how could i marry a white man, don't you? well, ain't there no kind, warm, generous black men? yeah. there are many.

me. well, maybe if i had waited, i might have found another black man just as wonderful, but, uh, rodney came along first and he just happened to be white. well, i'm sorry, frances. maybe he didn't go away mad. maybe he just went down to the corner for a paper. of course. he went to buy a racing form. where would that be? down on the corner. let me go. no, i'll go. i'll be right back. hi, aunt frances. hello, lamont. 's her rush? she's rushing to try to catch the white tornado. i guess by that you mean her husband. yeah. what you doin' home anyway? well, i forgot to take money with me this morning. i couldn't buy no lunch. oh. you know, son, maybe i was a little too hard on him. i think so, too. he's not such a bad guy. nah. yeah. i guess you can learn to like somebody like that. hey, pop, it's gone. all the money is gone. wh-wh-wh-wh-- i knew it. i knew it, son. i knew he was a crook.

ked. we've been had by the kissing bandit. i knew it, son. i knew it. i knew it. you just can't trust 'em. bring 'em into your home and they rob you blind. ok, pop. that's enough already. it's is all my fault though, son. i know better. you're not supposed to tempt them. there's 2 things got to always do. that's hide all your money and lock up all of your liquor. look, let's not go accusing the man on the spot yeah. you're right, son. we have to consider the evidence. now, let's see. the cash is gone and he's gone. guilty. death by hanging. case closed. [knock on door] who could that be? could be the police. the police? don't tell me you called the police. that's right. pop, we don't even know if rodney did it or not. man, look. when they come in here,

all right? no names. no names. hey, what do you say, lamont? hey, hoppy and smitty. how you doin', sir? what's goin' on? i sure am glad they sent you two over as opposed to 2 other policemen. well, thank you very much. you know, there's very few victims of social injustice who give us police officers a warm welcome. what's the problem, fred? well-- well, see, it's kinda of a delicate situation-- now, wait just a minute. let me explain to the man. please. ames. ok. well, listen. here's what happened. now, my sister, who we call madam "x"... madam "x." yeah. sent me a telegram saying that she was married to a gentlemen who we will refer to now as... thievin' honky. yes.

yep. how do you spell that-- that honky? y-t. y... y-t? yeah. say it again. y-t. y-t. y-t. y-t. whitey. whitey, oh. will you stop it with that? what's the matter with you, fool? i meant it. man, you don't treat people away-- i'll handle this. now, i'll handle this. look, we had a lot of money here in the house it's missin'. yeah. and we had a brother-in-law in the house and he's missin'. i think i understand what you're gettin' at. now, did either of you actually see this person take the money? well, no. we didn't actually see. well, then, fred, you could be jumping to conclusions. yeah. i'll jump in his chest if i find him. not only that, i'll play ring around the rosey and shove it up his nosey. calm down. calm down. the police will handle it. i don't know why she ever married him in the first place.

what are you talkin' about? well, i don't wanna be an alarmist, you know, but after 2 years in the bunco division, well, i-- well what? well, there's such a things as a gang of unscrupulous men who go around marrying unsuspecting women and once they spuriously interject themselves into the family unit, they purloin everything they can through a series of sophisticated larcenous machinations. the guy could be a con man tryin' to rip you off. oh, no. now, this is only guesswork, however, in facts. only the facts. never in guesswork. come on, hoppy. let's go. right. see ya later. oh, and remember, gentlemen, the man is innocent until proven guilty. poor fred. he's got a brother-in-law who's guilty. he said that my sister married that guy and all he wanted to do is get his hands on my bunco. this--let's just conduct our lives as if nothin' at all happened. and sooner or later rodney and aunt frances will show up.

yeah. mr. right not white. hi. hello. hi there. hi. hello. hi and hello. that's all you say when you walk into a house is hi and hello? pop, would you calm yourself down now? everybody says that when they walk into a house. well, shame on 'em. would somebody please tell me what's going on here? frances, it kills me to tell you this, but rodney married you so he can get his hands on my bunco. your what? le my $200 out the drawer we was savin' for a stereo. oh, i see. oh, fred. rodney didn't take that money, i did. here it is. oh, no. no, no, no. i saw that. i saw that in the movie night before last. where the wife made up for the evil her husband did. what movie? it was called rodney goes to jail. that's not what happened, man. no, you see, when rodney mentioned how excited he was about that horse, i took your money to remove it as a temptation. oh, you took the money

uh, where ya'll been? i went out to the track to watch the race just to see if my hunch was right. was it? it sure was. goin' bananas came in and paid 10 to one just like i thought. now, if i'd bet $200, we'd've had 2,000 smackaroos right now. you dummy! you big dummy! why didn't you steal my money? [knock on door] ugh. what?! what?! hi. who ordered for the stereo, ma'am? wn there. thank you. you're sure welcome. i sure hope y'all enjoy it, now. hey, wh-wh-what is that? that's a stereo set. i know it's a stereo set. i can see it's a stereo set. yeah. i ain't blind. i know what a stereo set like-- what--what is it? sometimes it's best to give my father a glass of warm milk and a twinkie and leave him alone. listen. now, what's it doin' here? it's a present for you from rodney and me.

told me rodney bought a racing form and went out to the track. so, i went out there to find him. isn't she wonderful? is that love? do you see what we have, fred? i don't know what she got, but you got chronic hugitis. so, how'd you ever find him at the race track? well, naturally i couldn't. then i felt badly for not trustin' him and so i did what i thought he would do if i had trusted him. i bet $20 of my own money on going bananas. and you won $2,000? and so, rodney and i bought this stereo with it. you a tribute to the man that raised you. i raised you perfect, honey. didn't it? no, fred. i'm not proud of myself. um, i did take your money without tellin' you. yeah. well, don't even mention that. what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine. fred. fred, i gotta tell you something. huh? you're the best. you're the best broth in the whole world.

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ahh. what a meal. what a meal. pop, you... aunt frances can cook, man. listen, son. i don't think i've ate that much in my whole life. well, you know, pop, i can understand somebody having first and seconds to show their appreciation, but ninths?

she sure did, man. in a house with nothin' but a bed, an alarm clock, and a stereo that we gave her for a present. yeah. i think she really liked that present. she sure did. and her husband liked it, too. and i wanna thank you, pop, for finally makin' that man feel at home in his own house. well, you know, i look at it like this, ever since frances was 2, i wanted to see to it that she was happy. so, if she's happy married to pale face,

? good times ? ? anytime you need a payment ? ? good times ? ? anytime you need a friend ? ? good times ? ? anytime you're out from under ? ? not getting hassled, not getting hustled ? ? keeping your head above water ? ? making a wave when you can ? ? temporary layoffs ? ? good times ? ? easy credit rip-offs ? ? good times ? ? scratching and surviving ? ? good times ? ? hanging in a chow line ? ? good times ? ? ain't we lucky we got 'em? ?