anyway, thanks very, very much. - thank you, jack, thank you! (applause) (cheerful band music) [doorbell rings] dennis: i'll get it! never mind, dennis. i'll get it. oh, hi, doc. henry. hi, dr. sinclair. hi, dennis. jeepers, i hardly knew you without your white stuff on. how are you? oh, you're fine. i know. is that it, doc? mm-hmm. dennis, why don't you go out and play. have we got some kind of a secret going on around our house? nothing that concerns you. well, hello, dr. sinclair. nice to see you. hello, alice. honey, doc has the p-l-a-q-u-e.

jeepers! every time something interesting goes on, somebody starts spelling. all right. run along. i just hate spelling. he just hates to be left out of anything. why haven't you told him? well, keeping secrets isn't exactly one of dennis's strong points. oh, i see. sit down, doctor. you want to surprise mr. wilson at the luncheon tomorrow, you can't let dennis in on it. i'm dying to see the plaque. oh, yes. of course. of course. oh, it's lovely. isn't it? "this plaque is awarded to george wilson "in recognition of his outstanding service as chairman of the community chest drive." that's nice. when you present that at the luncheon tomorrow, george wilson is gonna be a very surprised and a very happy man. boy, i hate secrets.

and liver. hey, there's mr. wilson. hello, mr. wilson! oh, no. he caught me again. come on, tommy. let's go see good old mr. wilson. how come you're sneaking around in the bushes, mr. wilson? i was not sneaking around in the bushes. hey, we got some kind of a secret going on around our house. do you know what it is? no, i don't. i'll probably find out by tomorrow, and then i'll tell you. i won't be here. mrs. wilson and i are going on a week's vacation first thing in the morning. boy, i'll miss you.

[door slams] boy, he sure slammed the door. yeah. it's lucky he didn't do it at my house, or mom would have made him go out and come in again. don't worry, henry. you'll make a fine presentation speech. well, i'm not much of a speaker. i can only promise it'll be loud. i don't want anyone going to sleep. well, i'll see you at the luncheon. okay, doc. hi, dr. sinclair. i guess you could probably tell me what the secret is now, huh? i'm afraid not, dennis. hi, tommy. how's the earache? which one was it in? the right one. i guess it's a little better 'cause i can't feel anything. well, what have you two been up to? we've been over talking to mr. wilson. he's going on a vacation in the morning. what? are you sure? sure, i'm sure.

and he's gonna be gone a week. excuse me, dennis. i forgot something. you forgot your package, didn't you? hmm? oh, yes. the package. come on, tommy. let's go down to the bakery and smell the bread. okay. oh, dr. sin-- an emergency, alice. we have a problem. what is it? wilson won't be at the luncheon tomorrow. why not? dennis just found out he's going away on a week's vacation the first thing in the morning. oh, no. we can't let him. how can we stop him? es? it's sneaky, but it's a breeze. i'll go next door and tell him someone's moving away and we want him to give the farewell speech at the luncheon tomorrow. now, you know mr. wilson isn't going to give up a chance to make a speech. it's worth a try. but who's moving out of town? well, i'll tell him you're moving, doc. he thinks a lot of you. you can't do that. a doctor doesn't move away from a town

all right. then you go over and tell him i'm moving away. oh, henry. tell him i'm being transferred to new york.

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oh, dr. sinclair. come in. thank you, mrs. wilson. oh, hello, doc. two things. first, i want to congratulate you on the job you did for the community chest. well, now, thank you. and make sure you'll be at the men's club luncheon tomorrow. no, no. i'm afraid not this time. see, i've been working pretty hard, night and day you might say, and i thought i'd go up to the lake for a few days. oh. well, heaven knows you deserve it, but i thought you'd be there because of the mitchells. the mitchells? yes. of course you know they're moving away

you must be joking. that must be the secret dennis was talking about. hmm. the mitchells going away. well, that's one luncheon i'm going to hate to miss. yeah, too bad. we thought maybe you'd stand up and say a few words and farewell for all of us, you know. a speech? as only you can do, george. well... well... we can change our plans. yes, i guess we could. all right, i'll do it. i knew you wouldn't let us down, george. little dennis moving all the way to new york. yes. well, i thank you both very much and i'm sorry i broke into your plans. oh, not at all. george and i love the mitchells. we'd do anything for them.

good-bye, mrs. wilson. good-bye, george. so long, doc. [laughing] oh, i feel terrible. i feel wonderful. you do not. i feel exactly as i did the day the war ended. but inside, you feel just as bad as i do. i think i'll give the mitchells a going away present and i think you ought to get something for little dennis. by golly, i just might do that. a good-bye forever present. oh, poor new york. dennis will probably cause the greatest migration west since gold was discovered in california. you're wrong, mr. wilson. we're not moving to new york. we're not moving at all. we're never gonna move. why, i wouldn't move even if i was the president of the united states. you'd think they'd tell the boy.

i'm home and i don't wanna move. tell mr. and mrs. wilson we're not gonna move. say, where is everybody? dennis, stop your shouting. oh, hi, mrs. wilson, mr. wilson. how nice of you to drop in. come on in and sit down. we heard you were moving and we came right over. dr. sinclair told us. hey, dad, we're not. we're not gonna move out of this swell old house, are we? huh, mom? huh, dad? we were going to move to new york? i'd say holy baloney. now, dennis. i knew i'd find out about that secret, but i didn't think it'd turn out to be something like this. you know, the old neighborhood just won't seem the same without little dennis. i'm not gonna go. i'll just move in with mr. wilson. and me and you can work on your stamp collection together.

oh, 10 days or so, i guess. how are you going? well, i don't know. i've never flown before. maybe-- gee, neither have i! are we going on a jet? a good old jet? i suppose. wow! a jet! i've never been up in one, and i've wanted to all my life. all right, dennis. i guess when i do go up, i'll have the pilot go through the sound barrier. oh, isn't that sweet. the confidence of youth. hey, mom yes, dennis? i'm kind of looking forward to going to new york. well, we're certainly going to miss you, dennis. i know, and i'm gonna miss you, too. well, so long, mrs. armstrong. bye, dennis. hi, mrs. holland. hello, dennis. guess what. i'm moving to new york on a jet. you are? sure. my dad got a big promotion. i guess he's in charge

why, that's wonderful, dennis. we're certainly going to miss you. i know. everybody is. and i'm gonna miss you, too. well, bye, mrs. holland. good-bye, dear. that's certainly a piece of news, isn't it? i can hardly believe it. such a nice family. alice is one of the sweetest women i know. i just love her. if anybody needs any help, alice is always right there. i know. you know, there's a little teapot at detwilers i think i'm going to get it for her as a going away present. oh, that's a lovely idea. i think i'll pick up something, too. why don't we go shopping together this afternoon? fine, just let me get my clothes out of the dryer. so henry's going to be in charge of the new york operation. isn't it wonderful? you know, i'm just thinking. my kid brother will be graduating from business college in a couple of weeks, and he hasn't lined up a job yet. why don't you have him talk to henry? that's what i was thinking.

it's a wonderful speech, henry. it'll make mr. wilson very happy. thank you, honey. [doorbell rings] i'll get it! hi, mr. wilson. hello there, dennis. is your father home? in here, mr. wilson. oh, what a nice surprise. it's even nicer than you think. i'd like you to meet mr. robert doubleday. mr. and mrs. mitchell. how do you do? and this is dennis. hi, dennis. mr. doubleday is from the kansas chapter of my lodge. thinking of buying a home here in town. oh? so knowing that yours would be for sale, i persuaded him to come over and take a look at it. oh, you shouldn't have-- gone to the trouble. what are friends for, mitchell? well, take him through. and put a good, stiff price on it. [laughs] [forced laughs] you know, i watched this house being built.

. solid. well, take him through, mitchell. well, uh... we're asking an awful price for it, probably far more than it's worth. are you going to show him through, or do i have to do it myself? all right. i'll show you the upstairs first. mr. wilson, why don't you wait down here with henry and dennis. mr. doubleday and i will just be a little while. in kansas just about your age. how'd you like a piggy back ride? sure! come on. hop on here.

john, we're giving you a raise. that's fantastic! but i'm gonna pass. are you ok? honey, you got another present. no thank you, dad. who says no to more? time warner cable internet gives you more of what you and those little data hoggers want. like ultra-fast speeds up to 300 megs. dsl. this internet speed is sick. get 50 meg internet starting at $39.99 a month. call now. and with home wifi, the whole family can be online at once. g reat for kids to stream scary shows while not cleaning their room. you'll also get our exclusive 1-hour arrival window, a money-back guarantee, and there's no contract to sign. get 50 meg internet with no data cap starting at $39.99 a month. plus, free installation and access to

would rex pass up more beef stew? i don't think so. say yes to more. call now. terrible news, henry. our house doesn't have enough bedrooms for mr. doubleday's family. isn't that too bad. jeepers, you could use bunk beds. it's a nice house, but i'm afraid it's not for us.

i'll dig up another prospect for you. thank you for showing me through. bye. good-bye, mr. doubleday. good-bye. oh, i'll be over later with mrs. wilson. we want to spend as much time as we can with you now that you're leaving. dennis, you go upstairs and straighten your room. it was a mess. jeepers, if we're gonna move, what difference? march, young man. okay. henry, what a situation. that's nothing. while you were upstairs, john williams dropped by to put in a pitch for my so-called old job. oh, no. oh, yes. [telephone rings] i'll get it! hello? long distance? oh, hi, grandpa.

in about 10 days-- dennis. we're going on a jet. here, let me talk to daddy, honey. daddy, hello. oh, well, i'll write you about that. no, don't drive down. i'll write you a letter and explain-- but daddy, it's over 200 miles. daddy, no. wait for my letter-- now, dad-- [hangs up] hello? i guess he wants to say good-bye to us, huh? [doorbell rings] i'll get it. it's okay, honey. we'll call him back when dennis goes to sleep. hi. hi. your father home? sure. that's him. i'm mr. mitchell. hello. i'm howard turner. i guess you know my sis, dorothy holland? oh, sure. come on in. honey, this is mrs. holland's brother, howard turner. how do you do, howard? how do you do, mrs. mitchell?

is that on account of the time i took a bath over at her house? yeah, that's right. this is the first we've heard of it. sure. i was just a little kid and i did it in her bird bath. oh, for heaven's sakes. come on in and sit down, howard. thank you. i hope you don't mind my dropping in like this, but when sis told me you were taking over the new york operation of your company, well, i just had to come by. college in a couple of weeks and i'm gonna be looking for a job. well-- i've always wanted to live in new york, and i was just hoping there might be a place for me in your company. well, i don't think-- i don't expect a big job or big pay. just enough to get me started while i prove myself. honey, i think you'd better take dennis into the kitchen for a minute. what's going on here? have we got some kind of another secret going on around here?

[doorbell rings] i'll explain it all to you when they get into the kitchen. hello, mr. wilson. hi, mrs. mitchell. hi, mr. wilson. hi, dennis. martha will be over in just a minute. she's wrapping something. heh heh heh. how come you're smiling at me like that? am i unbuttoned someplace? why, no. i'm smiling because i like you. i brought you a little going away present. oh, you shouldn't have done that, mr. wilson. sure, he should. dennis can't accept that, mr. wilson. sure, i can. i want the boy to have it. i know it's something he's wanted for a long time. sure, i have. what is it? open it up and see. wow! thanks, mr. wilson. a real bugle. [toot] great scott. that's going to drive you out of your mind. oh, that's all right.

what brings you out this way? i heard mr. mitchell was going to be in charge in new york and i'm gonna be looking for a job in a couple weeks. oh. well, don't worry. he'll find a place for you. smart boy. i'm sure he is, but i haven't taken over yet. [doorbell rings] well, that's okay. i'm not through school for a few weeks yet. alice, dear alice, i'm gonna miss you so when you go to new york. gladys, we haven't exactly gone yet. oh, here's a little something to remember me by. i couldn't possibly-- [telephone rings] i'll just wait in the living room. hello? long distance? hello? oh, uncle ernie. how did you find out? daddy shouldn't have told you that because-- [doorbell rings] will somebody get that, please? dennis: i'll get it. hi, mrs. holland. come on in.

everybody's here, mrs. holland. no, the house isn't up for sale. yes, i know you're in real estate. yes, uncle ernie. oh, no! not you, uncle ernie. yes, of course we'd let you handle it. what will your title be, henry? vice president? oh, no. not that. manager, i suppose. yeah, i guess something like that. oh. now, uncle ernie, please don't feel hurt. you know we love you. yes, we do. we adore you. tell him about the comptometer, howard. oh, yes. i can also operate a comptometer. now, you just try and tell me that you can't use a young man

[doorbell rings]

please don't cry. you'll get hiccups again. oh, mrs. wilson. hello, henry. alice. uncle ernie, i'll call you right back. i'll explain the whole thing. yes. good-bye. alice, this is one of my most treasured possessions. it's been in the family for over 100 years. i want you to have it. mrs. wilson, i couldn't possibly take it. henry, something's got to be done. we'd better go in there and explain the whole thing. mrs. wilson, would you go in the living room, please? well, yes, henry. hi, mrs. wilson. hi, dennis. gladys, dorothy. you know my brother howard. may i have your attention for a moment please? you're looking very solemn, henry. i'm feeling very solemn. quite innocently, i've made all of you the victims of a hoax.

what's that? we have no intention of moving, now or ever. [everyone talking] great scott, the bugle. how come we're not moving to new york? dennis, you'd better give me the bugle. give him the bugle, dennis. and i'm going to return your gifts to all of you. we lied to you, mr. wilson, so that you'd be at the luncheon tomorrow. it's to honor you for your generous contribution a luncheon for me? that's right, mr. wilson. well, that is a surprise. here, dennis. you keep the bugle. [playing off key] so, you see, son, it was just a story to fool mr. wilson into staying for the luncheon. do you understand? sure. it was just a fib,

well, not exactly. and then i had to stay in my room and not watch tv. dennis, it's not the same thing. what we told mr. wilson, dennis, was just a little white lie. what color was mine? your turn. well, a white lie is something that makes someone happy. you saw how mr. wilson laughed when we confessed to him. sure. aw, then you do understand. sure, i guess you should have told him the truth i guess we should have. and then you could have watched tv instead of going to your room. that's what happened to me when i told a fib. but the fights are on tonight. yes, i know, and you just lost. well, i guess i'll go up and get a good night's sleep. good night, dennis. good night, mom. coming in, henry? i guess so. good night, dad.

[music] [telephone rings] hello. oh, yes, mrs. webster. yes, dennis is right up in his room. did he do anything wrong? that's good. you're interested in dennis for the community pageant? well, i don't think... really? oh, in that case, i'm sure dennis would love it.

mom, i've told you and told you. i've changed my name to tex. i'm sorry, tex. can i see you down here in the south 40? coming, partner. and joey, it's 5 minutes of 4:00. if you expect to get home by 4:00, you'd better hurry. okay. bye, joey. bye. bye, joey. what do you want, mom? dennis, i've just had a phone call from mrs. webster. oh. what'd she want? dennis, you're standing on my feet again. that's a very bad habit you've gotten into lately. am i too heavy? yes, you are. now, mrs. webster wants to talk to you about being in the community pageant. oh, no. not me. i wouldn't do it for a million dollars. all right. it's up to you. you don't have to. that's good, 'cause i don't want to. i think you will when you find out

-- who? who's your favorite tv cowboy? whip crawford. is whip crawford gonna be in it? that's what mrs. webster said. boy, man, whip crawford. boy, am i glad i'm gonna be in that good old pageant. now, wait a minute. hold on. mrs. webster's just going to come talk to you about it. it isn't settled yet. why isn't it settled? why not? because mrs. webster is going to talk to lots of little boys. she wants to find just the right one, so you must be very polite. boy, i sure hope she picks me. mrs. webster is a very, um... dignified lady, so you must be careful of what you say. now, why don't you go upstairs and clean up a little. okay. i'll wash my hands and face... and neck and ears. that's a good boy. you know what? i think i'll even take a whole bath.

coming over to see you. sure. she's gonna see me about being in the pageant with whip crawford. dennis, you're standing on my foot again. am i too heavy? well, not for me, but i want to warn you not to stand on mrs. webster's foot. she might not like it. okay, dad. let's see now. where were we? we were talking about baths. mom took one, too. well, good for her. why don't you take one? well, i don't think i have time. besides, i just came up here to give you a couple of pointers to make a good impression, dad. i learned from you. i'm glad to hear that. sure. it's like when your boss comes to dinner. i'm gonna do the same thing with mrs. webster. everything she says, i'm gonna laugh real loud and say, that's a good one, mrs. webster. you'll do no such thing. you just be polite, act natural, and don't stand on mrs. webster's foot.

oh, there's one thing i want to warn you. don't say anything about mrs. webster's weight. oh. is she fat? well, yes, but if you mention it, it'll hurt her feelings. okay, dad. did you warn mom? yes, everybody's been warned. oh, and one thing more. your mother will be serving something, so be careful. you mean spilling? i mean spilling. okay, dad, but you better tell her not to give me any milk, 'cause i've been having a lot of trouble

eaea, mrs. webster? oh, thank you, mrs. mitchell. well, here i am. dennis, this is mrs. webster. how do you do, mrs. webster? hello, dennis. my, don't you look nice. this is my sunday suit. it's very good looking. everything i have on is clean, and i'm wearing my new underwear. that's enough about your clothes, dennis.

so did mom. and you ought to see the tub. she didn't have time to clean it. dennis! dad didn't have time to take a bath, but he took a shower this morning, so he's not too dirty. dennis. why don't you come over here so we can get know each other. all right. careful, dennis. why, is something the matter? she's afraid i'm gonna stand on your foot. oh, i see. would you like my dish of ice cream? i haven't touched it. i'm afraid it's too close to dinner. much too close. they're afraid i might spill it on you. oh, i see. well, i'm sure you'll be very, very careful. of course, my dress has just come back from the cleaners. okay, mom? okay.

watch out! oh, henry! i'm terribly sorry, mrs. webster. that was very clumsy of me. and he's over 30. well, accidents will happen, apparently. why don't you tell us more about the pageant, mrs. webster? the pageant? oh, yes. the pageant. well, it depicts the settling of our town and the fighting off the indians. i wrote it myself. how nice. where is it going to be held? i was fortunate enough to get the kirkwood playhouse. you don't say.

i'm sure you didn't have any trouble. after all, you carry a great deal of weight in this community. i thought we weren't gonna talk about that. talk about what? she didn't mean it, mrs. webster. it just slipped out. what slipped out? what she said about you being fat. dennis, you misunderstood your mother. who else around here is fat? 't mean anything like that at all. tell us more about the pageant, mrs. webster. i'm looking for a little boy to play the part of the town founder's son. mr. whip crawford is going to play the part of the founder. you know, i was his third grade schoolteacher. really? yes, oh, yes. so last month, when i heard he was coming to town for personal appearances, i telephoned his studio

you were very lucky to get such a busy actor. he's not an actor. he's a cowboy. do i get to be in it? well... i sure wanna be. i wanna be in that pageant with whip crawford more than anything in the whole world. well, it's between you and johnny brady. i'll tell you what you do. you come to the playhouse tomorrow at 10:00, and i'll try you both out. all right. thank you. i'm so sorry about spilling my tea on your dress. i hope you'll allow me to pay for the cleaning. oh, certainly not. i wouldn't think of it. well, that's very big of you. there you go, talking about her size again. dennis, that isn't what i meant. i'm sorry, mrs. webster. good afternoon.

girls, over here. into the cabin area. that's it. there you are. fine. fine. now let's see. psst. mrs. webster: this is a window. the indians start... what do you want? i wanna be in the pageant with whip crawford. so what? so do i. but i wanna be in it bad enough to give this for it. what is it? it's my own personal turtle. oh, now, children, while we're waiting for mr. crawford to come, i'm going to show you what you're supposed to do. come here, indians. now, listen, boys. come here. come here. that's right. when i give you a signal,

cabin. creep. creep. creep. oh, and girls, of course you're terribly frightened, so you go up here and cower in this corner. you know, you're really frightened. and your brother is here, helping your brave father keep off the indians by loading the muskets. and remember: realism. realism. oh, oh, johnny? johnny brady, we'll start with you first. johnny's decided that he doesn't want to be in it, so do i get the part? well, i guess so, but for pity's sake, whatever made him change his mind? well, he doesn't like whip crawford

would you say no to a lot more money? [excited scream] you just won a million dollars! no thanks. nice balloons, though! or no to more vacation days?

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arartner, i'd be mighty proud to give you my autograph. well, it's like we say when we're out riding the range:

when kind of a man is he? partners, i wanna think of all of you as my friend. gee, thanks, whip. and i'm gonna keep tuning in every friday night. you do that, son. i got some mighty exciting adventures coming up... if'n my blame writers can think of 'em. my feet hurt. kids, you can have 'em. all these personal appearances e killing me. you know what i'm gonna do till them reporters get up here? i'm just gonna soak my poor little old feet. what about the pageant you agreed to appear in for that mrs. webster? well, mrs. webster can go soak her little old head. my feet are killing me. you know, i think sensitive feet run in my family. my ma had sensitive feet. will you forget about your feet? and you can't run out on the pageant. the press would tear you to pieces.

and her old pageant. are we gonna start without whip crawford? well, evidently, mr. crawford has been detained, so we'll go through it once and i'll play his part while we're waiting for him. jeepers, mrs. webster. you? yes, me. now, children, this is a window ns and dennis is loading the muskets. oh, dennis, do you know how? sure, i know how from watching tv. where's the gunpowder and the bullets? oh, no, no, no, dear. we're not really going to load, you know. this is just make believe. now, indians, start creeping toward the cabin. that's right, creep. cower, girls.

now then, i'll start shooting. bang! get me another loaded musket, dennis, before they get here. all right, boys. all right, indians, creep. creep. bang! cower, girls. excuse me, mrs. webster, but you're banging. i beg your pardon? you're banging. you gotta kapow. i've got to what? when you shoot, you gotta go kapow, like that: kapow. kapow? oh, oh, oh. kapow. oh, all right. all right now, indians, once again. start creeping toward us. that's it. that's it. kapow! oh, indians. you're not doing it right at all. now, you must act like indians.

you must be indians. excuse me, mrs. webster, but i got a friend that's a very good indian, so i know how. would you like me to tell 'em how to creep up on us right? well, all right, dennis. all right. come on, fellas. look, what kind of an indian would go to right up to a window and get shot? indians were plenty smart, boy. mrs. webster: hurry up, dennis. ster. you want this to be a surprise attack? all right, make it a surprise. now, we wanna do this good for mrs. webster, so instead of doing it like dumb indians from the front, you guys sneak around back and come up behind mrs. webster. okay? well, are they all ready? they sure are, mrs. webster. good. let's get started.

realism. realism. all right, now, indians. come on. creep. indians? indians, where are you? they're creeping, mrs. webster. well, i don't see them. it's a surprise attack. well, for heaven sake, where are they? come on, you guys. [war whoops] i guess the indians won, huh, mrs. webster? that's perfectly ridiculous. the indians can't win. where in the world is that whip crawford so we can get this thing done right? that's what i'd like to know. well, i'm going to telephone his hotel. come on, whip. get your feet out of the water. get your boots on.

eting 'em barefoot. put your boots on, please? what if i just wore my slippers? i'll explain to them reporters that i got very sensitive feet. now, that would be just dandy. what a story they'd make out of that. i can just see it: whip crawford revealed as tenderfoot. boy, they'd laugh you off the tv screens. all right. all right. [telephone rings] he can't come to the phone. this is his manager speak--his mana-- rehearsal? what rehearsal? oh, you must be mistaken, mrs. webster. if whip crawford had agreed to appear, i'm sure he would have told me about it. positively impossible, lady.

dennis, stop brooding and eat your lunch. you should have heard what mrs. webster said about him. she said she called him up and he wouldn't even talk to her. did she say why? mrs. webster says it's because he's gotten a big head. you know what i told her? i told her you gotta have one to fill a 10-gallon hat. true. true. i bet i could go down there and talk to him, he'd be in our pageant. you better forget it, dennis. you couldn't get within shouting distance. you do all this research on a perfect car, then smash it into a tree. your insurance company raises your rates. maybe you should've done more research on them. for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise your rates due to your first accident. and if you do have an accident, our claims centers are available to assist you 24/7. call for a free quote today.

jeepers, it'd only take a minute. not a chance. whip crawford has given special orders he's not to be bothered by any kids. [telephone rings] mister-- shh, shh, shh. desk. yes, sir. i passed the order on to room service. but i... oh, i'm sorry, sir.

was that whip crawford's room? yes, it was. now will you run along, little boy? i have things to do. i bet they take whip crawford's coffee up in that elevator right over there, won't they? why, of course not. they use the service elevator in the back. and when i get a little more loot in my old saddle bag, i'm gonna set up a home for boys like that so they can breathe clean air, where they can learn to ride a horse cattle and bulldog a steer, things like that, so they'll be prepared later on in life if they get a tv show of their own. maybe the western cycle will be over by then, mr. crawford. you hold on there, now, mister. we'll always have westerns. westerns are clean tv, and they teach the american way. [knock on door] that must be the coffee now.

and here's a little something for your trouble. thank you, sir. all right, partners. crawl up around this here chuckwagon and grab yourself a hunk of that there coffee. excuse me, whip, but i gotta talk to you. where'd you come from? i came up in the service elevator to see you. just what did you want to see him about? you don't wanna get him started. this kind of thing happens all the time. come on, kid. out in the hall. ey told me downstairs that you didn't want to be bothered by kids, but i know that's wrong 'cause you love 'em. he does. he does. i love kids. i'll shake your hand and give you my autograph and you run on downstairs, huh, partner? am i your partner? why, sure you are. we'll shake hands and then i'll give you my autograph. partner, you're standing too close. you know what i came up

what? i came up to talk to you about-- careful, partner. being in the pageant. oh, son. i like it better when you call me partner. partner, you just gotta move back a little bit. what's the matter, whip? you got sore feet? well... certainly not. heck, no. whip's the toughest cowboy in the whole world. aren't you, partner? you bet your life. wouldn't you like to go over and sit in that nice big chair, partner? he's so full of muscles that it didn't even hurt him when they tied him up with barbed wire. right, partner? kid, what did you want to talk to me about? the pageant you promised to be in for mrs. webster. partner, you're on my-- i'm on your foot, aren't i? and it doesn't hurt at all, does it? well... i bet i could stand here all day and it wouldn't hurt 'cause he's so tough. right, partner? well... right. talk fast, son.

when mrs. webster called my mom and wanted to know if wanted to be in the pageant. at first i said no-- faster, kid. then i heard that you were gonna be in it, so i said i would. and then i went to the rehearsal and you weren't there-- son, can't you make this just a little bit shorter? what's this, whip? backing out on our pageant? heck, no. that's what mrs. webster said, but i know she's wrong. when whip crawford gives his word, he keeps it. what about the pageant, whip? partner, you just gotta stand back a little bit... so i got room enough to stand up. art, you're slipping. you should have reminded me about that there pageant. are we going right now? we sure are, partner. can we walk out the way me and my dad do it? why, sure we can. wait a minute. we do it like this. i stand on his feet. now walk.

- [voiceover] robert young and jane wyatt (children laughing) with elinore donahue, billy gray, and lauren chapin in father knows best. - [betty] come here a second, mother, i want you to see something. - oh, what a picture. - [betty] that's the most one-sided romance in history. honestly, sometimes bud is the dumbest thing. bernice has had a crush on him since they were in kindergarten and bud doesn't even know she's alive! - well, you have to give bernice credit. in spite of everything, she's loyal.

- in case you've forgotten, the junior dance is saturday night. - oh yeah, the dance. are you going? - sure, if somebody asks me. - oh, somebody will ask you. - who for instance? - oh, i don't know. all the guys like you, bernie. you're not always trying to be glamorous, and beautiful, and all that. you're just like one of the guys. (audience laughs) - thank you, bud, you say the sweetest things. - [bud] well, i mean it. - [claude] hey, bud! - oh, hey, claude. - hey, i bring very sensational type news. - yeah, what? - you been by the supermarket lately? - yeah, a couple of weeks ago, why? - man, you should see the new girl they got working down there. - yeah? what's she like? - oh, this doll is a doll. like nothing you ever seen. - yeah? - i'm telling you, when guys go through the checkout line where she works, they forget their groceries, they leave their change!

ybe we ought to go down by the market and buy something, huh? - she'll be worth every nickel. - [bud] hey bernie, you want to help me with my history tonight? - sure. - [bud] well, thanks. then i'll see you at your house about eight. - she's the prettiest girl i've ever seen. her name's marian. - how'd you find out her name? - [claude] read it off her badge. all the checkers have badges, you know. - hello, how are you? may i help you? [bud] uh, we want some gum. we've got some gum. - how many? - just one. - five cents.

(audience laughs) - [bud] excuse me. (bud whistles) - [claude] what did i tell you? - boy, is she pretty. - you know the word for her, man? wow, that's the word. hey, max! - oh, hi claude, hi bud. - how long you been working here? - oh, about three weeks. got a good deal too, afternoons and saturdays. - how'd you get the job? - well? - i've got your groceries, ma'am. i'll tell them right out to your car, yes ma'am. see the manager, mr. wetzler. y, if a guy was to get a job here - - hey! it'll taste better if you take the wrapper off the gum. (playful music) (audience laughs) - hey, guess what? got a job at the supermarket, box boy, afternoons and saturdays. - well, fine, son. when do you start?

, uh, a guy's got to be earning his own money sometime. look, i can't go on sponging off you and dad the rest of my life. what's so funny about a guy getting a job? - oh, nothing, nothing, son, it's very commendable. - we can't blame you for wanting to work at the market. there's so much to see there. one meets so many interesting people. - yeah, a lot of people. (audience laughs) hey, mom, are we gonna eat pretty soon? i gotta make it fast. ith my history. - now isn't that just like a man? he's fooling around at the market all day ogling some girl and then he expects bernie to help him with his studies at night. - we'll have to go see this charming checker at the market tomorrow. - yes, i think i better pick up a few things at the market tomorrow myself. - now am i irresistible? we'll bring you back a complete report. - hey, has anybody seen my school books? - they're in the kitchen. you left them lying on the front lawn this afternoon and bernice brought them in. - good old bernie.

it isn't enough that he makes her work for him, he has to insult her. (audience laughs) - and it was directly following the lewis and clark expedition that it was decided. are you listening? - oh yeah, sure. - what are you dreaming about? - oh, just stuff. hey, i forgot to tell you. i got a job at the supermarket today. - that's swell. i suppose you'll be working with marian. - oh golly, i hope so. you know, this is the prettiest girl i've ever seen. - i can't even describe her. she's just terrific. when she looked at me, i -- i nearly keeled over, really. - she must be really something if you noticed her. - look, i start work tomorrow afternoon. why don't you come down to the market and i'll show her to you? she works aisle number five. you'll spot her the minute you walk into the market. she stands out like a spotlight. everybody notices her. - she's a lucky girl.

- let's get back to history, that's what you're here for. - yeah, yeah, that's right, (mumbling). - the beginning of the westward expansion was marked by three important historical factors. bud, are you listening? - yeah, sure. - the beginning of the westward expansion was marked by three important cabbages, red, white and blue. the overland trail went through bean porridge hot and bean porridge cold and south of button, button, who's got the sardines. - yeah, yeah, i got it.

folks don't want their onions with their -- bud! you do a lot of wool gathering, boy. you sure you want to work in this market? - oh yes, sir, i was just looking around, getting acquainted with the place. - then you best get acquainted with how to pack groceries if you're -- - basket boy, number seven please. - there you go, number seven, over there. - number seven! well, that's -- - but customers are waiting! mber seven. (audience laughs) - i got here as soon as i could. mr. wetzler was showing me how to pack stuff. - [marian] all right, we'll see how well you learned it. here's your job, good luck.

the first hour all right. that's always the worst. you did just fine. - [bud] thanks. - 18, 22, 78, that's 2.17. 2.17, three, four, and five, thank you. - thank you. - here you are, ma'am. - thank you, sir. (audience laughs) - well, i'll say this, marian's a looker.

- she's at least 20. - bud, i want you to come with me, young man. - what did i do? - carelessness, just plain carelessness. a dozen eggs broken, smashed in the bag. i told you always put eggs and pastries in the top of th bag. - well, i did. - you think these eggs broke themselves? the customer gave me the dickens and it's you boys, you never pay attention, - mr. wetzler, were these eggs brought back by a blonde woman in a white sweater? - blonde? yes, she was blonde, white sweater. what about it? - bud didn't break these eggs, she did. i saw her drop the bag right over there by the soft drink machine. - oh, well, i'm sorry, bud. - these people make me so mad. every time they break something they blame it on the boys.

you -- go back to work. - i've seen this broken egg trick pulled before. she just thought she could get away with it because you're new on the job. first day is always the hardest. so don't be discouraged, you're a good worker. you're going to get along just fine. you'll run into a mean customer now and then. don't worry, i won't let them push you around. (crickets) - [bud] hey, bernie. - i was getting some things at the market. max told me you left your school books. i was coming home so i brought them on my way. - oh, well, thanks, bernie, thanks a lot. (soft music) - how's the new job?

- no, no, not saturday night, just afternoon. - that's good. the dance is saturday night. - oh yeah, that's right, it is, isn't it? - well, i'll see you tomorrow, bud. - oh yeah, thanks again, bernie, bye. - bye. e saturday night. who are you taking? - oh, i don't know. i hadn't really thought about it. - well, there's a real nice girl who likes you and -- - hey, how about that? yeah, i could ask her. - well, of course you could, silly! she's been waiting for you to say something. - i'll do it, tomorrow afternoon at the market. - the market? - yeah.

(intense music) - that big goof! - well, now what? - do you know who he's asking to the dance saturday night? that -- that woman at the market! - betty, you're making entirely too much out of this whole thing. leave bud alone. call kathy to dinner. - oh, this family, argh! (audience laughs) john, we're giving you a raise. that's fantastic!

honey, you got another present. no thank you, dad. who says no to more? time warner cable internet gives you more of what you and those little data hoggers want. like ultra-fast speeds up to 300 megs. that's 50x faster than dsl. this internet speed is sick. get 50 meg internet starting at $39.99 a month. call now. and with home wifi, the whole family can be online at once. g reat for kids to stream scary shows while not cleaning their room. you'll also get our exclusive 1-hour arrival window, a money-back guarantee, and there's no contract to sign. get 50 meg internet with no data cap starting at $39.99 a month. plus, free installation and access to over 500,000 twc wifi? hotspots nationwide. would rex pass up more beef stew? i don't think so.

- what? - at the market where you work, dopey. - i don't know what you're talking about. - you're not even listening! - [jim] i understand your junior class is having this big dance this saturday night. - oh yeah, that's right, it is. - [margaret] well, that sounds like fun. have you asked a girl yet? - no, not yet, but i'm going to. i'm going to.

- what is it, bud? - will you go to the dance with me? - i'd love to, darling. and i have a special dress i'll wear just for you. - may i have this dance, marian? - of course, darling, this one and every one. (waltz music) in the world but you and i. - yeah. - i've dreamed of this moment, bud. ever since you walked into the market and our eyes first met, and you smiled, i knew you were the only boy in the world for me. (audience laughs)

- [jim] bud? are you still with us? - sure, what's the matter? - [betty] we thought you'd gone into a trance. you had the dumbest look on your face. - nothing wrong with me. everybody's always staring at me to see if i was doing something silly. i'm just sitting here like everybody else trying to mind my own business and eat. - bud? are you going to eat all those potatoes? (audience laughs) - hand me your plate and i'll give some of those to kathy. no, bud, your plate. (audience laughs) - what do you want my plate for? - [betty] for pete's sake. - [kathy] see? you're not listening again. - [jim] bud, old man, look at me and concentrate. pass your mother your plate so she can remove some of the potatoes and put them on kathy's plate.

(everyone talking at once) - [betty] oh, i've never seen anyone come so completely unglued. he stopped thinking entirely! (gentle music) - hi, bud! what was wrong with you in english class this morning? didn't you feel well? - oh, i guess i was thinking of something else. here, sit down, take a load off your feet. (audience laughs) nt to ask you something. - okay, what? - maybe you can tell me. how can a guy tell when a girl likes him? - well, i guess by the way she treats him and the way she looks at him. it all depends.

she's terrific and i really like her too. i think she likes me. but how can a guy be sure? - well, a girl can't come right out and tell a boy she likes him. - no, not right at first. - well, all she can do is try and show him and -- and helping him with his problems, and standing by him when he's in trouble or unhappy. - yeah, i think you're right, bernie. when marian stood up for me against mr. wetzler,

yeah, i'm gonna do it. - what? - i'm gonna ask marian to the junior dance. i'll do it this afternoon. well, i gotta go to my locker. thanks a lot, bernie, you're a good guy. - easy does it. - [marian] thank you very much. what's the trouble, bud? - come on, come on. (audience laughs) - this just isn't your day. - i'll get it. - [barbie] okay, marian, i'll take over for you. - [marian] thanks a lot, barbie. - easy now, don't bruise them. - [marian] she'll take care of you. - oh, marian! you leaving now? - yeah, this is the day i get off early. now be careful and don't you get in trouble with mr. wetzler.

s? - [bud] hey, i want to talk to marian for just a minute. - my potatoes! (audience laughs) boy! - [bud] marian! - [marian] bud, what's wrong? did i forget something? - oh no, i just wanted to ask you a question. - well? - well, there's a dance saturday night. well, i was -- well, i thought maybe you'd like to go with me. you're a sweet boy and i thank you with all my heart. but i can't go to the dance with you. (car horn beeping) - hi, honey. - this is my husband.

- hello, bud. - you just paid me one of the nicest compliments i've had in years. i'm sorry, bud. (increasing orchestral music) take off that smock. - what -- - take it off, you're through. you messed up the whole market, potatoes all over the floor. i -- i -- i can't have this. your mind's not on your work. confounded kids, not a lick of sense. drive a man out of his mind. (audience laughs) (gentle music) - hey, bud!

your insurance company won't replace the full value of your totaled new car. the guy says you picked the wrong insurance plan. no, i picked the wrong insurance company. with liberty mutual new car replacement?, you won't have to worry about replacing your car because you'll get the full value back including depreciation. make the switch to liberty mutual and see why we've been awarded highest in customer satisfaction by j.d. power. call for a free quote today. liberty mutual insurance. he's usually home long before this. - well, there's father. maybe bud's working late. - hello, princess. - hi. - hello, dear. - say, you haven't seen bud, have you? - yes, i picked him up down the street. he's putting the car in the garage now. poor kid, the roof fell in on him this afternoon. he asked marian to the dance and she turned him down.

- well, maybe he'll have sense after this. - now you treat him gently when he comes in. he's had a rough day. - keep your chin up, bud, we're still with you. - boy, am i a stoop, a real stoop. - no, you're not, son. you have nothing to be embarrassed about. - she was married, a married woman! - oh, now don't make it sound so awful. i'm a married woman. i must have gone off my rocker for awhile. i don't know, i don't know what happened to me. (doorbell rings) i'll get it. it's probably claude. - the problems of raising a boy. - well, raising you hasn't been any bed of roses either. (audience laughs)

i thought you might be needing them for tonight's lesson. - thanks a lot. could you come in for a minute? - i guess so. - i've been kind of a heel. treated you pretty badly. i don't blame you if you turn me down. but, uh, could you -- would you -- - i'd love to go to the junior dance with you, bud. (audience laughs) - you know, you're the greatest.

(upbeat orchestral music) voiceover: robert young and jane wyatt. with elanor donahue, billy gray, and lauren chapin in father knows best. (laughter) (footsteps)

(laughter) (laughter)

jim: what was the big crisis at your pta meeting that made it last so long? margaret: well, actually it wasn't the meeting, it was mrs. cartley. she stopped me on the way out and insisted upon telling me all her troubles. oh, will warmed up meatloaf be all right? jim: sure anything! margaret: put those away, will you dear? i wish people wouldn't always confide in me. i get to the point where i'm carrying so many confidences, i don't dare say anything for fear i'll be talking out of turn. jim: well, just don't listen! . cartley. i will say she's having a problem with her daughter evelyn who met some boy at a roller skating place. she doesn't approve of the boy, so she tried to put a stop to the romance. betty: oh, who are you talking about mother? margaret: your friend evelyn. betty: oh, hello father! margaret: open this, will you dear? jim: hello princess. margaret: but now mrs. cartley suspects that evelyn is secretly meeting this boy at the roller skating place. butter's at the table, betty. betty: oh, all right. margaret: in face, she suspects that

romance by keeping evelyn's skates at her house. jim: oh, fine. thank goodness you don't have the kind of boyfriend that someone has to smuggle roller skates so you can see him. did you know evelyn was doing a thing like that? betty: yes, i believe i did hear something, but i also heard the boy is actually very nice. jim: well that's not the point, the point is she's deceiving her mother. defying her. now, would you do a thing like that, of course not! betty: no! (laughter) betty: i'd better go set the table. (laughter) but, i suppose they just reflect the training they get from their parents. oh, i saw a terrific sale on binoculars, and i thought about bud's birthday coming up in a few weeks, so i bought these! only $7.95! but actually they're not bad. margaret: oh, that's a good idea, but i don't know how you're gonna keep 'em hidden from bud for three weeks, he's a regular bird dog! jim: oh, i'll find a place to hidethem. when it comes to hiding places, these kids aren't as crafty as they think they are. (laughter) jim: are they.

margaret: oh, a present he bought for bud. when you get through setting the table, will you make a salad? betty: yes, all right. mother, there's something i have to confide in you, but remember now, this is in the strictest confidence. margaret: you sound just like mrs. cartley! betty: please, please don't tell father, but i'm the one. margaret: the one what? betty: the one who's helping evelyn. margaret: helping ev-, you mean betty: yes, i have them, they're up in my closet right now. (laughter) margaret: now, about those skates. is evelyn gonna pick them up here? betty: yes, she'll start off for the library, but then she'll come here, get the skates, and meet tony at the roller skating place. margaret: all right, now when she gets here, you give her the skates, but you tell her that this is the end, ok? betty: oh, all right, i guess you're right.

margaret: well, i don't usually keep things from him, but i guess there's no use in distressing him, as long as you're gonna put a stop to it. betty: will you promise, i mean really promise? margaret: of course. betty: thanks, i just couldn't stand to have father think what i know he'd think of me if he ever thought what i think he'd think.

take glass for example. why is it you can see through it, but you can't hear through it and you can't blow through it? kippy: hey what's the matter? bud: shh shh shh shh!

(laughter) kippy: what did he hide? bud: i don't know, but i know the easiest way to find out! here, grab my legs and don't let me fall.

bud: i didn't tell ya to break my legs! (laughter) kippy: hey what's in the sack, come on! bud: look at these binoculars! wow, wish i had some of these! hey they're not bad, for cheap ones. (laughter) kippy: why do you suppose your old man was hidin' 'em? bud: probably didn't want me to find 'em and ruin 'em (laughter) bud: i'd better put these back 'fore somethin' happens to 'em, be just my luck. hey, this time just hold my legs, don't fracture 'em. (laughter) (thud) (laughter) kippy: what was that noise? uh oh, did they break? bud: what do you think?

kippy: yeah, but what are you gonna do now? bud: well i gotta get some new ones before dad finds out! hey, you got any cash? kippy: a buck maybe. bud: that's not gonna do any good. kippy: have you got anything to sell? you can always raise some money selling something down at mad charlie's swap shop! why, he might even have some binoculars and swap you for somethin'. bud: oh, what have i got to swap? margaret: bud, where are you bud? bud: hey, look, you climb down in the basement and get the evidence outta there right away, and then we'll- margaret: bud! bud: comin' mom! i'll be right back. kippy: ok. bud: comin' mom! margaret: well find kathy and both of you come in to dinner! bud: ok. kathy! (thud) (laughter) (laughter) bud: where are you?

hey kathy! bud: hey [sman]! (laughter) bud: where were ya, i've been screamin' my head off! kathy: i heard you, i'm going. bud: well hurry up, mom wants ya in there right now! look it, tell her i'll be there in a few minutes. kippy: boy, you sure did a good job on these, broke both lenses. did you think of anything to swap? bud: i don't know, look would a baseball mitt do any good? kippy: nah, mad charlie wouldn't give ya nothin' for that, overstocked! bud: i don't know what i've got to trade. what the heck is this? roller skates? with paint on 'em. now how do you suppose these ever got here? kippy: well, are they betty's? bud: no, they don't belong to anyone around here.

kippy: well they're in your car, aren't they? bud: well, yeah? kippy: ok! my uncle's a part time lawyer, and he says possession's nine points of the law! besides, you're desperate! (laughter) bud: well, ok. look, i can't leave right now, but i'll be your friend for life if you'll take these skates down to charlie's and see if he has any binoculars like those, and get back here with 'em right away, ok? kippy: ok! kathy: mommy, i gotta talk to you, serious. (laughter) margaret: oh, you too? well not now, we'd better eat, your father's starving, come on! kathy: wait, i did spill some paint. margaret: oh? kathy: on something of betty's, and you know what she'll do to me if she finds out! margaret: oh dear, what was it. kathy: well, you see, i happened to be in betty's room in her closet. margaret: in her closet? kathy: well, sorta, and i accidentally saw her put some roller skates in there. margaret: roller skates?

y, those aren't betty's, they belong to a friend of hers, and she's coming to get them tonight. now, wh- kathy: shh! betty: mother, i just happened to think of something. when a certain person comes to pick up her you know what, don't let father go to the door, he mustn't see her. margaret: yes, yes, all right. will you see what's keeping bud? betty: ok. (laughter) kathy: so what do we do? margaret: just don't say anything about it, the paint off the skates.

betty: oh no, father, sit down, i'll get it. no, don't get that, it's probably for me! (laughter) jim: there, ya see? they're flying apart like a two dollar watch! margaret: just nerves, i guess. kathy: i'm kinda nervous too, aren't you mommy? (laughter) margaret: no, i- (laughter)

row some sugar. kathy: sugar? margaret: and some turpentine. (laughter) betty: it was just kippy. bud: well, didn't your swap shop have any binoculars at all? kippy: just some expensive ones, 25 bucks on up! but mad charlie finally agreed to buy the skates. here, seven bucks isn't much, but if you've got 95 cents to go with it, it'll do the job. bud: well how do you mean? kippy: they got some binoculars exactly like surplus store for $7.95. that's probably where he got his. bud: well why didn't you buy some? kippy: well, they weren't open tonight! bud: oh, well thanks a lot, kip, you're a real pal! jim: where's your friend kippy, why didn't you invite him in? bud: oh he was in a big hurry, had to rush. jim: what is all this rush and hurry, is it something catching? i've never seen you and betty so- (doorbell) (laughter) betty: i'll get it!

oject could use her! (laughter) betty: forgiveness for calling you ralph, but i'll explain it later. i'll go up and get the skates. oh, you'd better stay here, evelyn, i don't want father to know what's going on. evelyn: why, did he say something? betty: well he, i'll explain that later too. evelyn: all right, but hurry! bud: hey mom. margaret: oh! (laughter) bud: i'm in kind of a jam, i need your help. can you keep a secret? oh no, i'm carrying more secrets than i can handle right now. bud: it's real important. dad brought home some binoculars today, and- margaret: what? how did you know about those? bud: just by pure accident! i happened to watch him hide 'em. (laughter) margaret: oh no! bud: well, like a knuckle head, i took 'em out and dropped 'em, and they broke. margaret: oh, what a day this is! bud: i raised some money to get some new ones. so look, you take this and tomorrow morning you sneak downtown-

bud: well, go downtown, just don't let dad know! margaret: now look bud- bud: you can get the same kind at the war surplus store for only $7.95. margaret: bud, will you wait one- bud: we'll put 'em back in dad's hiding place, bud: he'll never know- kathy: mommy! mommy, come outside, hurry! margaret: you wait, i'll be right back. i'm not sure i'm in favor of your plan. i'm coming! kathy: boy mommy, we're in trouble now, the skates are gone! margaret: gone? margaret: gone, oh, they can't be, where did you leave them? kathy: well, i hid them in the seat here, in some old newspapers, and now they're gone! been here all the time, he didn't drive it anywhere. kathy: i know he didn't, but- betty: mother! margaret: oh dear, she's been up to her closet and found out the skates aren't there! (laughter) betty: mother, i can't find them, they're not in my, kathy, have you been snooping in my closet? kathy: huh? betty: do you know where a certain pair of roller skates are? kathy: no, i don't know where any skates are, honest i don't! betty: now listen, this is very important! margaret: she doesn't know, i can vouch for that.

yn is standing out there waiting for me to bring them to her. she can't wait much longer! margaret: yes, well, you go back and talk to evelyn, don't keep her waiting out there alone! tell her anything! (laughter) margaret: in the meantime, i'll hunt for them! betty: all right, but whatever you do, do it fast! kathy: oh, thanks for not giving me away! margaret: yes, well now, let's see, you say you put them in bud's car. oh, i wonder if he knows anything about them. and check with him. bud: ok mom, you say you're not in favor of my plan, margaret: never mind about that now! bud: the less chance there'll be that dad- margaret: bud please, just tell me this, did you by any chance find a pair of roller skates in your car? bud: roller skates? margaret: yes, shoe skates, girls. bud: well, yeah i did. margaret: you did? well where are they? bud: mad charlie's swap shop. (laughter)

that's how we got this money! margaret: oh no! bud: i didn't know they belonged to anyone around here. well they were in my car, and kippy says possession is 9/10- margaret: but why do you listen to him? now look, you rush right down to mad charlie's swap shop and buy those skates back. bud: but mom, we need the money! margaret: bud, don't argue with me, just do it! and hurry as fast as you, oh no no no no no, it's no use now, we're in too deep. look, you just go out and tell kathy to come inside, and then both of you come in the living room. margaret: please bud, don't ask any questions, just do it! bud: well... margaret: go! (laughter) betty: i stalled her off for a little bit, but she can't wait much longer! did you find the skates? margaret: yes i did. betty: ya did, where were they? margaret: well, you'll never guess. where's evelyn now? betty: waiting around near the front door. margaret: fine, come along. betty: where are we going?

betty: huh? (laughter) bud: come on kid, mom said to hurry! margaret: now then betty, find yourself a nice comfortable seat. right there'll be fine! bud: here we are, mom. margaret: that's fine, sit down, both of you! that's it, now then! well, evelyn cartley!

haven't you? jim: oh yes, of course, how are you evelyn? evelyn: i'm fine, thank you. margaret: oh, won't you sit down, evelyn? evelyn: well, i really have to be going. margaret: yes, of course! now then evelyn, i understand you came here to pick up your roller skates.

margaret: well, that's fine, but unfortunately, due to a rather odd set of circumstances, the skates aren't here, they're at mad charlie's swap shop. (laughter) evelyn: swap shop? margaret: yes, however, bud still has the seven dollars he sold 'em for, t won't be too much trouble to buy the skates back. betty: sold them, so you took them out of my closet! bud: no i- margaret: no he didn't. margaret: the credit for that one goes to kathy. kathy: mommy, you said you wouldn't- betty: it was you, you little snooper! margaret: she merely borrowed them. her big error was hiding them in bud's car. and under kippy's brilliant counseling, bud reasoned that anything found in his car was his, so naturally he sold them. (laughter)

bud: mom, you promised! margaret: to replace the ones he accidentally broke. jim: binoculars, what binoculars? margaret: the ones you so artfully hid! the ones you were gonna give bud for his birthday. (laughter) bud: those were for me? oh gosh, how dumb can a guy be! (laughter) bud: bustin' up his own presents! (laughter) jim: wait a minute, how did you find those binoculars? bud: well, i didn't mean to, dad. eally. you see, kippy and i were right outside the basement window, and we just watched you hide 'em. jim: you mean you watched me go through all that painstaking effort to find a safe hiding- (laughter) jim: oh great! (laughter) margaret: well that's better! i'm glad to see a few smiles, instead of the

having father rant and rave about some low, miserable conspirator, when all the time it was i. and all the time i had those tell-tale skates up in my closet, or at least i thought i had them up in my closet. man, charlie's swap shop? (laughter) margaret: oh evelyn, i know this is pretty hard on you. evelyn: oh no, no really mrs. anderson. i think it's the best thing that could've happened. well, how can you say that? evelyn: well, since i've been sneaking out to see tony, i haven't really been happy. actually i've been miserable. but i felt that i just couldn't tell my mother what i was doing. but now, suddenly, seeing how much better and easier it is to bring things out in the open. now i think i can tell her. everything. margaret: evelyn, i'n awfully glad

do it... ...while the spell of this house is still on me! jim: i think you're on the right track, kitten, and i think your mother's gonna think so too. bud: hey wait, don't forget your money for the skates! evelyn: oh, thanks, but there's no hurry about that. to be honest, i was getting kinda sick of roller skating! (laughter) evelyn: from now on, if tony wants to see me, he's gonna have to come to our house. jim: that's the way to talk! evelyn: good night betty, and everyone! . margaret: well, go on, say it. boy mom, did you cross me up! (laughter) margaret: go on, say it! jim: well i'll say it. boy mom, did you cross us up! and boy mom, how thankful we are that you did it! from now on, let's keep it like this,

but don't load her up with your conspiracies and strictest confidences. don't transfer your guilty consciences to her shoulders and then expect her to... ...mad charlie's swap shop? (laughter) jim: boy i give up! (laughter) (applause)

narrator: today, on animal atlas... we'll stalk with the tiger... (roaring) talk with the dolphin... (chirping) and squawk with the parrot. (squawking) as we discover how animals communicate. it's all coming up now on animal atlas. (barking) welcome to animal atlas. come with us around the globe. and explore the animal world. nimals. and desert creatures. we'll meet wildlife on the savanna. and see our underwater friends. and animals from the arctic circle. anywhere, everywhere animals live. it's always an adventure when you tour the planet with animal atlas.