>> chuck: you got a nice island, captain. looks like you have a little drainage problem, though. >> mchale: but a lovely view. a lovely view. [ chuckles ] and jane wyatt with elinor donahue, billy gray, and lauren chapin - well, this is gonna be a scramble to end all scrambles. it's quarter of nine now, my train leaves at 12 noon. i have a good four hours work to do before i can leave. - you'll never make it, dear. nine to 12 is three hours, and that's not allowing time to drive to the station. - alright, i'll do four hours' work in two and a half hours.

u start on a trip with this last minute rush. - oh it's always the same. i wouldn't know how to do it any other way. where's my tie clip? - oh here it is, dear. - what's the big rush, dad? your train doesn't leave till 12. - he has a whole stack of work to do before then. so don't start any projects that involve your father. - oh i'm not starting any projects. - i'll be down in the den. if there are any phone calls for me, tell them i can't be reached. what's that? - it's an adding machine. - oh. what are you doing with an adding machine? t mean to rush you, but -- - yeah i'll go right down and start. - well you see, claude has this adding machine, and so i traded an old electric mower i had in the garage for it. it's a good machine, there's just some unimportant little thing wrong with it. it won't add. - bud, you're keeping your father from his work. - well this won't take any time at all. what i wanted to ask you, dad, was well, if you were gonna take one of these machines apart, to fix it, i mean, where would you do it? what i mean is, there's a zillion little parts in one of these things,

rk some place where the parts wont get lost. - like where? - well, why not in the bathtub? - oh dear! - that is, without water of course. - hey that's a pretty neat idea. you can't lose many parts in a bathtub. - no, just be sure you put the stopper in. - daddy, can you open this bank, i can't -- - i'll take care of it angel, your father has work to do. - well he always answers questions for bud, and i've gotta get the money out. it's the treasury money for our play timers club. - oh dear, you haven't time to fool with old banks. - well, this will just take one second. - got a problem? ank you son. - your father has problem of his own right now, so i'm asking all of you to -- - i wish i knew what to do with this velvet dress. it's all wrinkled and -- - just ask daddy. - about a dress? - sure, anything you wanna know, he's got the answer. - there you are, kitten. - daddy, you're terrific! -dear, why did you have to pick today of all days to turn into an encyclopedia? - i don't know.

- well, you wouldn't, by the wildest stretch of the imagination, know how to take the wrinkles out of a velvet dress? - why don't you ask your mother? - well she's busy. - well, try hanging it in a room where there's lots of steam. - well, thanks father! bud was right. anything you wanna know, just ask father! - your father has four hours' work to do in less than two and a half hours. he has a train to catch at 12 o'clock -- - 46, 47, 48, 49, 50. the play timers are in trouble. - oh? financial problems? - yeah, i'm the treasurer, and we've gotta buy some costumes for our next play, and we don't have enough money. - the way you count, i'm not surprised. - i wonder how we could make some money for our club. sure wish i was smart like daddy. - you know, we're gonna miss father around here. golly, a whole week.

went down to the bank they'd give me some money? - what's that? - yeah, you know, some of that old, worn out money they don't want anymore? - kathy! - well, people give away their old clothes, kathy figures why shouldn't banks give away their old money? - [betty] well, here he is, the stupefied public accountant. have adding machine, will travel. - go ahead and laugh! just wait till i get this thing fixed. - plenty. - bud, maybe i made a mistake figuring out my treasury money here. you wanna add it up on your adding machine? - well it isn't working right now. (betty stifles laugh) well i will when i get it fixed. - oh, i can see you fixing that thing. have you ever looked at the inside of an adding machine? - yes, i've looked at the inside of an adding machine! - you'll have nuts and bolts and gears and springs scattered from one end of the house to the other. - oh no, dad tipped me off to a system. oh mom!

ll look out behind the garage. - [betty] what a character. he certainly doesn't take after his father intellectually. oh father gave me a wonderful idea for straightening out the nap on this velvet dress. just hang it in a room with heavy steam. now how do you suppose he knew that? - i told him. - a couple of spots off here, i'll -- - where are you going, miss kathleen? - oh, i don't know, just some place. i've gotta do some thinking. - daddy. daddy? daddy?

- well, if it's real tiny and real quick. - well our club of play timers has to raise some money for our costumes, and i thought maybe you'd give me an idea. - look kitten, i'd like to help you, but i'm awfully busy. i'm hurrying to get this -- - when betty had a problem you helped her. - i know, but that was different, i -- - don't you like me as good as betty? - i like you as well as betty. - then why wont you help me?

- yes, i'm thinking. uh, how much money do you have in your treasury? - two dollars and a half. - how many members in your club? - five. - alright, i'll tell you what you do. each member take 50 cents and start a little business of some kind. the one who makes the most profit on his 50 cents

how does that sound? - hey, that sounds good! we can have fun with the contest, and make money besides! - sure you can. - kathy anderson, if mother finds you in here she'll skin you alive. - you know what? daddy just gave me the most wonderful idea! we're gonna make a lot of money for our club. you're the smartest daddy in the whole world. - oh no, the united states and canada maybe, but not the whole world. - i've gotta phone up the kids and tell them. - honestly father, if you have to work, why do you let people interrupt you? ud with a problem this morning, i couldn't very well refuse kathy. - you know, you have the gabbiest family in town. if you don't put your foot down and be firm about it, there will always be one of them standing in here talking to you. - it seems that way. - you're just too good natured, that's what your problem is. believe me, if i had work to do, i wouldn't let people come in here yak and yak -- - what did i say a few minutes ago about disturbing your father? - i wasn't disturbing him.

daddy! the kids loved your idea. we're gonna start on it this morning. - good, i hope you make a barrel of money. - kathy anderson, what did i tell you about staying out of here and leaving your father alone? - well, i had a problem, and daddy's the only one who could figure it out. isn't he wonderful? - well, you just hustle yourself right out of here. - you know, you'd better be careful. that's three times today you've come up with the right answer. - reputation or not, i'd like to get to work. that train isn't gonna wait. - well if you'd keep people from coming in here and talking, just tell them to get out. - i'm thinking about it! oh brother! - remember what i told you, young lady.

la di di di da da di di. (kathy singing loudly) - who's humming out there? you call me, daddy? - i just asked who was humming. - it was me, i was humming and thinking, because i have a real big problem and mommy said for me not to bother you, so i'm not. - good, you take your problem to your mother or betty. kitten. - well nobody else can help me. you always have the right answers to everything. - oh now don't be silly.

- yes daddy? - i'll give you just 30 seconds. what's your problem now? - well, all the play timers have gone into their business with their 50 centses, like you said, but i don't know what to do with mine. what kind of business can i go into? - look, some part of this project you have to do yourself. - i've thunk. nothing happened. (jim sighs) - well, let's see. - [bud] hey shrimp, why, if mom knew you were bothering dad, you'd catch it. - i'm not bothering him. he asked me a question. - how's your work going, dad? - at the moment it's not going very fast. - quit talking to him. he's thinking of an idea.

- oh now look kids, i'm never gonna get this work finished if you keep walking in here -- - what are you two doing in here after i specifically told you to leave your father alone? - well i was just standing out in the hall here, and daddy called me. - i was just walking by and saw her standing. - well, this is the last time i'm going to tell you to stay away from the den. - bud was the one who came in and interrupted, daddy was thinking of an idea for me. and i've got to have it. - you've got to have what? - an idea how i can make my 50 cents grow. - well i have no idea what this is all about. as daddy's idea. - bud, you shouldn't be in the house with those dirty shoes. will you please go outside? now come on kathy. - kitten i have an idea how you can make your 50 cents grow. - oh boy! - now take the 50 cents and buy some shoe polish, then go up and down the street, knock on doors, and tell people you're in the shoe-shining business. now you should gather up quite a few shoes, and at ten cents a shine, well, if you shine ten pair, that's a dollar, 20 pairs, two dollars.

- hey, that's a good idea! daddy, you're terrific! - alright, now that's the last suggestion you get today. absolutely the last, do you understand? - oh sure, i promise i wont bother you again.

(window closes) (bud shrieks) - i don't know! (telephone rings) - hello? yes, this is mrs. anderson. yes, we live on maple drive. kathy? oh, just a minute. - hey don't get that polish all over the patio or mom will skin ya. - i wont, i'm almost through, how do they look?

- me? - i think it's one of your shoe-shine customers. - oh, i have so many. how would you like to be my secretary? - how would you like a hit in the head? - it's a mrs. avery. you remember that name among your customers? - hmm, i don't remember it. well i have so many. i picked up 13 pairs of shoes. the only customer i really know is mrs. davis next door. the others, i just went up and rang the doorbell. - well, i think you've done very well. - thank you. yes, this is kathy. - dear, i gave you mr. avery's shoes to shine. are they finished? - oh they must be. i'm working on the last pair right now. - and you think we can have them in about a half an hour? - oh sure, they'll be right over, mrs. avery. goodbye. that was one of my customers who wanted her husband's shoes.

you know, like that customer that just phoned. which pair of shoes did she give you? what's the matter? didn't you put the names on them? well what a bubble-brain. how'd you expect to get the right shoes back to the right people without putting tags on them or something? - i never thought about it. wow, i've seen you pull some classy boners, but this one takes the all-time prize. - [kathy] what am i gonna do? - well, well stop blubbering. look, the first thing you gotta do is hide these shoes so nobody can see 'em,

if you go in there looking like that somebody's gonna ask questions. (kathy whimpers) well, here now, then. take 'em down to the basement, and be careful you don't see mom or betty on the way. - i'll be careful. thanks bud, i'll shine your shoes for nothing. (jim sighs) (loud clattering) - now what happened? - just a minute, dear. - what was that noise in the basement? - i'll take care of it. - [margaret] kathy! kathy, did you hurt yourself?

this big box full of shoes. - you could hurt yourself on these stairs. why were you bringing the shoes down here? - uh, i um, i thought they'd keep better down here. - don't you fall down any more steps. you wanna be in good shape so you can deliver these shoes and collect your money. - angel, are you sure you didn't hurt yourself? - there's something the matter. what's gone wrong, darling? tell us. - has it something to do with those shoes? - well, what is it? - i made a horrible mistake, and i can't ask daddy what to do. - well why not?

- well angel, if it's that important, i think you can ask your father. - of course kitten, what's the trouble? - it's awful. i picked up all those shoes from the people around the neighborhood, and i didn't put the names on them. - oh dear. - i don't know how i'm gonna get the shoes back to the people. i don't know what to do. what'll i do, daddy? - let him think. (clock chimes) - oh, i'm sorry kitten, but my time has run out! i hate to do it, but i really have to leave. honey, i'm a mess, will you please get me a clean shirt? - no daddy, don't leave! (kathy sobs) - now we can manage the disaster. we'll think of something.

to a guy who can always come up with the right answer. believe me, when i become a father, i'm gonna be a stupid old slob who knows nothin' from nothin'.

father did everything he could for you. - oh i feel like a traitor, walking out and leaving her like this. - now put it out of your mind, your work comes first. - after all, it isn't a world-shaking problem, a little matter of a mix-up of shoes. and i was the one who got her into it. old father, the genius who never fails. i could kick myself around the block. oh, who am i kidding? i can't go, margaret. do you think i could leave, knowing kathy is in there crying her heart out because i... wait a minute! kathy! kathy, come here, i have an idea. - what do you want, daddy? - if you take this shoe rack and do just as i tell you,

- well how will i know who's shoes go to who? - you don't have to know. you take this downstairs, get your wagon, and put all the shoes on here. - how do they look, daddy? - oh, just great! now remember what i told you. - i'm gonna try your idea on mrs. davis first. hope it works. (doorbell rings) - well, kathy the shoe-shine girl.

- here are red shoes, right here. what a clever way to deliver them, kathy. and they look beautiful. - daddy, you did it again! bye! - goodbye! you get there. - i will, okay. - bye bye! - oh, poor father. i'll bet he's glad to be rid of his family for a while. get away from all those questions, questions, questions. - i don't think so. well, there's an old saying that a man's success can be gauged by the number of people who ask him for advice.

- robert young and jane wyatt with elinor donahue, billy gray, and lauren chapin (whimsical music) - hey mom, where's my clean shirt? - it's hanging right in front of you. - well it isn't here. (audience laughter) - did you find it? - yeah, why'd you have to hide it? - hide it? i hope you have better luck finding mr. bernard's office than you do finding your own clothes. - oh me and kippy will find his office all right.