captions paid for by paramount domestic television let's go. we have a 27-year-old female with severe lower abdominal pain. coleman, this is your patient. she was fine until this evening. her roommate called the ambulance. she's cold and clammy. pulse is 100 and rapid. blood pressure 80 over 60. come on, coleman. she's shocky. it's obvious. we need more information. have you had vaginal bleeding? yes. you think you're pregnant? my last period was six weeks ago. what do you think, coleman? i need to do a pelvic exam and pregnancy test,

is ruptured ectopic pregnancy, so type and cross-match four units and prep the o.r.? great diagnosis, coleman. all right, coleman! nice job. thanks, doc. i feel better already. our patient, the talented and healthy-- miss sheila davidson! thank you! you've just had a taste of what will be happening here all week. using actors as standardized patients is a relatively new and innovative practice-- an effective tool for teaching med students the basics with no risk. emergency situations can be nerve-wracking, but better to kill an actor than a real person. thanks a lot, doc. you were really good. thanks. that felt great. i had tears in my eyes and everything. thanks for the fast diagnosis. now i can make my tennis game.

there'll be more standardized patients thursday. miss spencer. when i'm directing my questions to other students, i'd appreciate if you'd respect that. you said to treat this like a real emergency.

well, miss big mouth rides again. she didn't even give coleman a chance. she has to dominate every situation. ooh! that woman is arrogant, obnoxious, self-centered, patronizing... and, generally, right on the money. ? all the girls i loved before... ? oh, no. not again. ? i'm glad they came along ? ? i dedicate this song ? ? to all the girls i loved before ? hey, man, you should've been there last night. i was, in all modesty, awesome. where? we took over this karaoke bar-- you sing in front of everybody. it's pronounced karo-key. it means empty voice in japanese. yeah, well, i know one voice

yes, you were. chicken! cluck! so i didn't sing. some of us aren't exhibitionists. oh, curly! they're right. i didn't sing because i'm a coward. don't you think you're overreacting a little bit? i've always been afraid to just jump in and join the fun. this karaoke thing is last in a long line of personal wimp-outs. i'm not going to change at this age. i'm 30-years-old today. i am who i am, and i'm boring. it's your 30th birthday. congratulations. don't speak to me. you're 18. hey, hey, hey. lift that chin right up. so what are you doing tonight? who knows? you don't have plans for your 30th birthday?

go home, bolt the doors, wait for further instructions. ? it's comin' closer ? ? the flames are now a lickin' my body ? [feedback] ? won't you help me? ? ? i feel like i'm a slippin' away ? ? it's hard to breathe ? ? and my chest is a-heavin'... ? i never thought i'd have this kind of performance anxiety. everybody sang last night? raymond sang blue hawaii twice. ? just a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' love ? ? just a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' love ? ? just a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' love ? ? oh, a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' love ? ? i'm just a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' love ? you guys pick a tune yet? i don't know whether to sing a whole medley

gosh, there's so many good songs here. we'll get back to you. this is ridiculous. if i don't go up, i'll hate myself. if i do go up, i'll humiliate myself. i'd rather hate myself than humiliate myself any day. for those of you who haven't taken the plunge... o.k., o.k., this is really it. i'm going up there. you coming with me? it'll be a personal growth experience. no way. fine. i'll go it alone. and now, let's all put our hands together for "howard brickman." i always sing under the name howard brickman. last chance for public humiliation.

? when you're alone and life is making you lonely ? ? you can always go ? ? when you've got worries ? ? all the noise and the hurries ? ? seems to help, i know ? get away from me. ? just listen to the music of the traffic in the city ? k ? ? where the neon signs are pretty ? ? how can you lose? ? ? the lights are much brighter there ? ? you can forget all your troubles ? ? forget all your cares ? ? so go ? ? downtown ? you little weenie, satisfied? great. ? when you're downtown ? ? make mine a place for sure ? ? downtown ?

owntown ? yeah! ? downtown ? ? downtown ? ? won't go to hear 'em play a tango ? ? i'd rather hear some blues or funky ol' soul ? ? there's only one sure way to get me to go ? ? start playin' ol' time rock 'n' roll ? ? call me a relic ? ? call me what you will ? ? say i'm old fashioned ? ? say i'm over the hill ? ? today's music ain't got the same soul ? ? i like that ol' time rock 'n' roll ? ? still like that ol' time rock 'n' roll ? ? that kind of music just soothes my soul ? ? i reminisce about the days of old ? ? with that ol' time rock 'n' roll ? ? still like that ol' time rock 'n' roll ?

[laughter] no. no way. no, you are not going to get me to dance the tango. that's the old spaulding talking. the new spaulding just cries out for castanets. it feels really good to break out and do something completely crazy. i never would've gotten on stage if not for you. you never would've gotten off the stage if not for me. true. so thanks. i'm glad you enjoyed your birthday. i had a better time tonight with you than if i'd gone on a regular date. yeah? yeah.