tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 3, 2015 10:35pm-11:37pm CST
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thank you. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. it's a great time. i don't mean -- i'm not looking for more applause but by a round of applause i want to know how many of you voted totoday. how many didn't even know there was an election today? [ applause ] and this is before we havee legal marijuana in every state. toy was election today in america. the polls are closed, so it's too late. the votes have been counted. the american people have spoken. i guess they said, sorry, but we only vote for president. see you next year. it wasn't a big election, but they're all important. it's important to vote if for no other reason but to make the old couple down the blockho cleaned out their garage who voted to feel good about themselves. next election days a big one.
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cord to a new national poll. dr. ben carson is leading the field by the largest margin yet. he is in first place with 29%. donald trump is now in second with 23%. this is a starter because this is first time the republican field has ever been led by an african-american candidate whoho appears to be asleep at all times. [ applause ] congratulations to him. i'll tell you, i'm still not convinced that ben carson didn't die five years ago and this is a "weekend at bernie's" type thing. for atltlanta least it's carson versus trump. itit's like nyquil versus monster energy drink. meanwhile, i have thisonald trump has been keeping piece busy. this is his new book that went on sale today. look at that. it's called "crippled america, how to make america great again." it's in all caps, the whole book. great cover, by the way. looks like he just woke up from a nap in a tanning bed. the book is only -- the book is
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short. it's only 193 pages long and 17 of those pages are about the author's section at the end. o full pages, i am not kidding here,, are jus a list of properties he owns. surprises me. he usually doesn't like to talk about himsf, but he will sell a lot of these. number seven on amazon. i'm sure by tomorrow it will be number one. what if his whole campaign was a big stunt to promote that book. maybe donald trump really is as smart as he says he is. do you think he is, guillermo? you don't think so. i do want to mention guillermo is going to be on a game show this week. he's on "celebrity name game" on thursday hoste by our pal greg ferguson. how did you do on the show? >> guillermo: terrible. >> jimmy: terrible. craig sent us a clip from the show. this is guillermo giving his
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>> the letter is h. >> 45 seconds on t clock ease. get ready, getset. get going. come on. come on. >> pass pass. >> pass. >> ah, ahah, you know -- >> youaid part of the clue. >> i did? >> yeah. >> here we go. here we go. >> pass. >> okay. you have -- >> hair? >> yeah. and then you go -- you play with -- >> hair ball. >> yeah. >> all right. >> all right. he's an actor. he looks good. he's fm -- >> who is it, hugh grant? who i he? who is he? give me something. what was he in? >> first fame right. >> hugh hefner? >> no. >> hugh? come on, give me something. >> oh, okay.
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>> jimmy: okay. you know you are supposed to help them, right? it wasn't t like -- >> guillermo: it's too hard. it's too hd, too complicated. >> jimmy: do you know who helen keller is now? >> guillermo:: no. >> jimmy:. speaking of games, any of you play candy crush? kay digital entertainment, the company that makes candy crush, was just purchased for $5.9 billion. billion dollars. they were bought by activision blizzard which is a company that makes "call of duty" a and i guess they figigured whe they had the oprtunity to pay billions of dollars for a game people were tired of in 2012 you don't just jump at it, you leap, you leap. we had our own versi of candy crush on our sho last night. parents t told their kids they ate their candy and they were crushed. we did not get $5.9 billion, by the way. it's always very popopular. there are always thousands of
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comments on the youtube chahannel of people watch this. a lot of the commence this year, a lot of them were from people upset parents didn't shoe the video horizontally. they did the vertical t thing if big hit of the video came cotesy of a 4-year-old boy who came up with his own completely new and original new curse word. >> my wrappersn there, turkey bottle bottle. >> jimmy: so before -- [ applause ] before he posted that video before anyone saw it i googled the word turkey butt hole but now it's sweeping the nation so we contacted the kid and his family and joining us now from sioux falls, south dakota,n our big cisco screen, charlie and adam and heather. how are you doing?
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>> jimmy: i've got a good mind to was your mouth out with gravy, young man. charlie, charlie were you excited to be in the video? yeah, you were. you were. first of all, i want to thank you guys for participating in the video. charlie's 4 years old? >> yes. >> jimmy: now, has he used this phrase before? >> no. >> no. >> jimmymy: he has not. has he called you any other of the parts of the turkey? >> no. >> not quite yet. >> jimmy: charlie, were you mad at your mom and dad for telling you they ate all of your candy? yeah, you were. but then you were happy when you found out the didn't really eat the candy, right? >> were you happy when we found out we didn't eat it all? >> jimmy: what's going on behind you guys? there's a skeleton behind you. >> that's up a year-round. >> jimmy: that's up all yearar-round.
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something? >> yeah. that's the last person that ststole his candy. >> jimmymy: i see. charlie, have you considered getting a trademark for the phrase turkey butthole. it would be nice on the back of a pair of pants? >> i have -- stic. sticky on there. >> jimmy: this is why i never fa time with my parents. charlie, charlie, will you say it for us again? do you remember what you said in the video? >> what did you sayo daddy? >> turkey butthole? >> jimmy: right, right. do you know what a tury butthole is? >> no. >> jimmy: no. probably for the best.
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thank you, adam and heather. thank you, charlie. well-done. >> thank you. >> thanks. >> jimmy: happy thanksgiving. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we have a beautiful looking and sounding show for you tonight. we have music from jason aldean. sharon stone is here. and from the movie "spectre" bautista. it opens friday. since it will probably be a blockbuster i asked our friend yaya to review ifor us and he did me does whatever i ask him to. it's time now for yaya to talk about the movie. quiet, please. action! you talking about a new movie today. hi, my name is yaya. i'm talking about the movie. james bond 007, it's called "spectre "spectre" like thehe peopleho
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james bond, the guy's name, don dinal greg took m picture. i love james bond from the start. i don't go to school. i watch all james bond moe. sean connery is my favorite. and 007, "rush our love" and "gold finger." and they have the guy, his name -- what his name? english guy, too. morgan something, james bond, too. i got a picture whehe's young and i got him when he's old. this guy also come. my name is bond, james nd. and you know oldmovie, martini, shaken with the ice. that movie now, the gu the bad guy, from german, christopher lker. he actually won oscar.
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i got the bad uy, also, look, the guy wrestling guy. he tell him the bad guy come here for he want to die. no, i come for tell you. yeah. action. >> jimmy: we have to take a break. when we come back from that break, we are going to play an insane prank on a man who did nothing to deserve it at all piptsz funny. stick around. we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to youou by crowroyal, the one made for a king. please drink responsibly. there are things we expect from a phone screen we expect it to be ridged. we expect it to be flat. we expect it to be fragile.
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automated voice: to file a claim, please state your name. carnie wilson. thank you. can yohold on? hold on for one more day really? hey, i know there's pain. why do you lock yourself up in these chains? this would be so easy if you h progressive. our mobile app would let you file a claim and help you find one of our service centers where we manage the entire repair process. things will go your way if you hold on. [ sighs ] someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. sharon stone, dave bautista, music from jason aldean is on the way. post halloween mischief. i like to pull pranks on mostly my aunt but i like to help others play trick on their loved ones, too. recently one of our writers came to me and was mentioning that his roommate is scared of ghosts. now,w, his roommate, name is mitch, believes in ghosts and fears ghosts. why, i have no idea. but jack decided that he wanted to help mitch to confront that fear, just like they used to do on tyra, head-on. >> okay, so my r roommate mitch is actually afraid of ghosts, like actually believes that they exist even though he's never seen one. the plan here tonight is we put cameras everywhere all over the apartment and we've got guys
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under the floorboardrds, thehey're going to be scraping and playing noises and stuff. so we can see if we can make mitch think the a apartment is haunted because i'm a horrible person. all right. let's go. >> let's roll, everybody. oh, there he is. let's let mitch settle in on the couch. >> so, jack, are we good to go? okay. you ready to go, james? okay. go ahead and hit it. >> jack? jack?
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hello? jack? >> what? >> are you playing with something in your room or something? >> i'm sleeping. >> james, get ready with the violin violin. >> i'm trying to go to sleep. >> jack. >> what? >> there's a branch or something on the door or window or something like that. >> i have to go to sleep. okay? >> all right. fine. if i hear more stuff, i -- i --
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>> so, james, we're going to do th corrugated steel and the growl at the se time. >> what the [ bleep ]. jack. what the [ bleep ] is that? jack! >> what? what? >> there's like a wolf or some [ bleep >> a wolf? >> i can't even -- [ bleep ] every [ bleep ]. there was -- it sounded like a -- like a thing on the floor or something, like -- >> i don't know what you're hearing. >> like ba-ba-ba-ba. ghost noises. >> i don't hear anything. >> did you hear that? >> no, i didn't. let's turn the light on. turn the light on. >> i'm going to go charazy. i'm going start crying, iwear to god. i heard something.
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like a thing. it didn't sound human. it was messedup. i don't know what it was. whatever. >> just call if you need to. >> don't close that [ bleep ]. are you serious? >> okay. >> smoke start coming out first and then make everything go crazy, guys. so start the smoke. >> [ bleep ]. jack. jack! jack! [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, come on, dude. >> what? >> dude, there's [ bleep ]. dude?
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what the [ bleep ], dudede? jack, jack, jack, jack jack. [ bleep ]. >> jack,it wasn't a goes. it was me your roommate the entire time. >> as it turned out we tried it out and mitch did believe in ghosts. so he thought the apartment was haunted. do you have anything to say for yourself, mitch? >> you're [ bleep ] and jimmy kimmel is an [ bleep ], too. [ applause ] >> jimmy: jack and mitch, everybody. i love that the giant mitch is looking for tiny little jack for help. by the way, i do want to say,
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seriously, i love what you guys have done with your apartment. it's really -- jack and mitch, everybody. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show we have music from jason aldean. dave bautista is her and we'll be right back with sharon stone. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the next generation of pcs. watch tomorrow night to see all the powerful things the pc can do. pc does whaaat?! (music begins. the song, danger zone by kenny loggins plays from t the pc) pc does what?! hey, guy! pc does what?! shhhh pc does what no pc has done before.
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>> jimmy: tonight, from the new james bond movie "spectre," dave bautista is here. then, this is his album. it's called "old boots new dirt." jason aldean from the crown royal ststage in nhville, tennessee. tomorrow night, after the country sic awards, we are simulcasting via hologram from hollywood to nashville and f from nashville back to hollywood. i will be on stage in person here via hologram there like princess leia there, and vice versa. plus, we will have a hologram version of "thband perry" from there, on our stage here. i don't know how it workrks, but seth rogen is gonna be here, and it is gonna blow his mind. plus a special country music edition of "mean tweets," jake owen and eric stonestreet will be here to collect on our rld series bet, which means i am going to get into a bounce house, and he and some members of the kansas city royals are
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going to shoot me with a paintball gun tomorrow nigight on the show. so that should be fun. and on thursday, hillary clinton and the comedy team of bob odenkirk and david cross. so join us then. our first guest tonight is a golden glolobe and ey-winning actress s who has ared the screen with deniro, hoffman, schwzenegger, stallone, basically everyone who originally owned planet hollywood. you can see her now on "agent x." [ gunfire ] good guy. whoa. >> he ran through here. >> jimmy: "agent x" premiers
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please welcome sharon stone. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> great band. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. are you tired of people telling you you look fantastic all the time, because you do. >> you're kidding? >> jimmy: you don't ever get tied of that? >> notever. >> jimmy: i find it tiring. i will be honest with you. >> i'll hold back. >> jimmy: i want to point out in that clip, the character you're playing is the vice president of the united states. >> that's right. >> jimmy: firing a weapon on what we assume are bad guys. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is funny because you try to imagine like joe biden in that situation and i can't. >> or dick cheney, it would never happen. >> jimmy: it did happen. probably wasn't a bad guy, just an old man he shot. >> or somebody else.
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i forgot that dick cheney shot a guy. >> i think he might have forgotten that. >> jimmy: this is based on a true story. is there any like -- i know "agent x" is a secret agent that reports directly only to you, the vice president. >> how awesome is that? >> jimmy: it would be pretty great to have an agent specifically. >> it's so fun. it's such a great premise because when the president gets sworn in the say an oath, when the vice president gets sworn in it's slightly different where the vice president s says the will protect the country against threats both foreign and domestic. we take that premise of why does the vice president say that and why do we never see the vice president again. >> jimmy: that's interesting. >> and why are there always, you know, traffic cameras and why are there cameras all overhe place, because we're tracking criminals and agents and then put that to use through this idea for the show. >> jimmy: you have three young boys. do they think it's c cool that you're playing this kind of
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>> they -- they -- i tell you what they think is cool. they think that it's on at 9:00 and that's just an hour past their bedtime and they're going toto get to stay up. >> jimmy: they will. >> that's what they think is good. >> jimmy: they probably can't see a lot of the movies you'v been in, yes? >> well, um, my oldest son who is now 15 has seen a couple of my films. >> jimmy: which ones? >> i showed him "total recall" and "th quick and the dead" when he got all a nasdaq dras in drama at school. i have something you might want to see. you might be in the family biz. i showed him a couple of movies. i asked him what he thought. i don't want to talk about it. then he went out to lunch with my sister and he told my sister, mom's a bad ass. >> jimmy: really? i wish my mom would fight arnold schwarzenegggger. >> your mother probably would like to. >> jimmy: i bet she would.
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>> but -- >> jimmy: that's fun. >> really cute. >> jimmy: the littler ones, they don't -- >> the ltler ones, you know, they care if i make d dinner and make cookies and what do they care? >> jimmy: cookies are really good, you know. >> they mean so much more than if you'r're on tv. >> jimmy: now, this is a magazine, this is "harper's ba bazaar" which last month, i believe. there's a photo shoot there -- >> something in there. >> jimmy: the pages are adhered to each other. so - [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that's crcrazy. >> i just want you to know that's how i usually stand around. in my heels. >> jimmy: did the kids see this? the kids didn't see this, right? >> i don't -- i doubt it. >> jimmy: i doubt it, too. >> they're not really "harper's bazaar" readers. >> jimmy: it's unbelievable that
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a person can look like that. it's crazy. do you ever look in the mirror and go, wow, thank you, jesus? really. >> can i just come on the show all the time? >> jimmy: sure, absolutely. wear the outfit from the magazine. >> you know, confidentially i bring that everywhere i go. >> jimmy: that would make a great tinder profile, by t way. are you dating anyone now? >> i've been on some dates. jimmy: you've been on some dates. do people hit on you or are they intimidated an don't hit on you? >> i said in the magazine that i don't get asked out but i do. so many people that asked me outlook like they m might be serial killers. you have to kind of watch it. >> jim: you do have to watch it. >>ou got lucky. you married someone really wonderful. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. she's the won that's in trouble. >> you know. >> jimmy: that's how it goes. she didn't vet me properly is what happens.
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the show looks great. congratulations on it. hope the kids like it. [ cheers and applause ] sharon stone. "agent x" p premieresunday night at 9:00 on tnt. we'll be right back. d.c.. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by hallmarkhannel's "countdown to christmas" with new movies premiering every saturday and sunday at 8:00, 7:00 centralal. i think my boys hahave a sho this year. yeah, especially with this new offense we're running... i mean, our running back is a beast. once he hits the hole and breaks t through t secondary, oh he's gone. and our linebackers and dbs dish out punishment, and never quit. you didn't expect this did you? no i didn't. the nissan altima. there's a n side to every drive. nissan.
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shine. they're rolling oueight weeks of non-stop holiday programming from november 1st until christmas. it's bome a very popular tradition, especially for our pal, guillmo. >> guillermo: oh, how i love the holidays. especially watching my new favorite hallmarkmovie, "o"open for christmas." i love this movie so much. i wish it was real, live like. oh. >> what just happened? >> i don't know. where are we? >> guillermo: my wish game true. >> aren't we supposed to be on the film set in montreal? >> yeah "jimmy kimmel live". >> guillermo: relax. what? anyway, i make you a christmas present. lo. this for you. this for you. and i made myself one, too.
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>> oh. >> guillermo: nice for the next eight weeks for christmas. >> if we're here with you we can't be at the north pole open for christmas. >> that's right. that's right. in fact, i feel like we a being sucked back into the tv rit now. right? >> right. i'm being pulled right bac in. >> guillermo: guys, don't forget your sweaters. >> okay. we'll never stop believing in the power of christmas. >> guillermo: i think i drank to much nog. >> countdown to christmas, featuring 17 all new holiday movies including "north pole open for christmtmas" oy on the hallmark channel. >> jimmy: we'll be back with
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learn more at phoenix.edu. at net10 wireless, you can e the phone you already have. and keep your network and number, too. for up to half the cost, only on the bring your own phone plan. now get unlimited talk and text plus 5gb of high-speed data, for $50 a month. net10 wireless. target casting, day three. aaah!... he nailed it! why are you right for the role of "lucy"? because i'm always right. i like your style. wow! this is humongous. whelp, i'm sold. bleah! uuhhh... bark, bark.
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movie, "spectre." >> jmy: "spectre," it opens in theaters and in imax friday. please say hello to dave bautista. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. it's good to see you. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: when i watch a c clip like that one it's makes me wonder, do you get bummed out that you get beat up by daniel craig, you were probably that
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size when you were 11 years old. >> it's funny, man. i don't really get beat up by him. i hand him his ass. i realllly hand him -- >> jimmy: seems like it's a lot closer than it should have been. >> that's the cool thing. ey wanted to put him in the kind of underdog situation. they wanted me to do it. i said, i'm your guy. >> jimmy: you are the guy. how do you wind up in a james bond movie? do they call you? >> they did. they called us, which is weird enough because up to this point i still hadn't got a lot of calls. it was us banging on doors begging for auditions. they reached out to us. isaid, you know, very excited about it. did my audition on tape. sent it in. waited to hear from them. >> jimmy: read a script? >> recreate a scene from "casino royal," a torture scene, it was a heavy scene. when they brought me in to meet with sam a couple weeks later he explained the nature of the character with me. he almost tried to sel me the character because the character
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is the man of few words. i think he thought at that point in my career i would be interested this that type of character. stop. >> jimmy: to be in a james bond movie. how many lines do you have in the film? >> one. >> jimmy: you have one. >> it's not even a line. it's one word. >> jimmy: did you memorize that or how did that go? >> oddly enough, i did. i had enough brain cells to memorize that. >> jimmy: wow. vin diesel had like two more words in "guardians of the galaxy." >> i have nothing on vin. >> jimmy nobody can really beat you -- how many letters did the word have in it?? >> four. >> jimmy: ur, wow. that's like one syllllable. >> it was a cl thing because they really wanted to go to that throwback, nostalgic, i was like, ah. >> jimmy: you're enshrined permanently in james bond history which is fantastic. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i assume youe a big
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>> absolutely huge fan. i grew up watching it. i always loved it. i was a huge fan of sean connery's. when daniel came onboard of james bond i became a fan again. >> jimmy: how old were you when your wrestling? >> i wasn amateur wrestler as well, so i was 16. >> jimmy: 16 years old. when you started really fighting guys, how old were you then? >> oh, god, 9. >> jimmy: 9. i meant professionally, i guess. >> on the streets. no, professionally, i started wrestling professionally when i was 30 years d. >> jimmy: 30 years old. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you remembmber your first fight? >> yeah, in wrestling, yeah. it was horrible. >> jimmy: who did you fight? >> i don't know. it would have been an indy show. somebody i wouldn't rememberer. the first time on television was actually a hhh. >> jimmy: and you did not win that, right? >> i aually didn't, no. i had a goofy gimmick, a suit with like sleeves cut off and a bi collection box i used to
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walk around with. it was awful. it was so awful. >> jimmy: like a homeless wrestler? >> yeah. i wasike -- i was a hinch man again for this guy who was dng this reverend thing and i was collecting money for him, i had the collection box and i would walk around. >> jimmy: little did you know you planted a seed that one day you would become a jam bond villain. >> how crazy is that? >> jimmy: p pretty crazy. this is maybe one of the craziest things i've experienced, something i i learned about you today is that you have a collectio of -- well, you explain what your collection is of. >> i collect vintage lunch boxes. >> jimmy: vintage lunch backes. >> i don't know why people are surprised. >> jimmy: because you imagine you taking people's lunch money tr them. >> no, it's so weird. i was never that guy. always really shy, really introverted. and always like real geeky. i think that's why i look like th. >> jimmy: you couldn't be too geeky. let's not get crazy. is that your house? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's your house. how many lunch boxes do you ha? >> probably about 150.
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>> jimmy: 150 of them. is this your most valuable lunch box of all of them, superman? >> it's not my most valuauable but one of my favorites for sure. my most valuable one i think is -- i haveve a reale cool old beatles lunch box like unused. >> jimmy: what do you think it's worth? >> maybe six grand. >> jimmy: wow, that's a lot of money. this is your james bond lunch box. >> it's funny, i gave that to sam mendez as a rap gift because they weren't made available to them in the uk. >> jimmy: you gave away your treasured -- >> i got another one. >> jimmy: oh. >> i gave him that one. >> jimmy: wow, sam must have been so touched that you gave him your spare lunch box. >> i gave him that one and then i went and found another one. he said he put it right next to his academy award, which i know he's probably trying to make me feel good. >> jimmy: academy award is probably in his stotorage facility somewhere. it's great to see you. congratulations on the movie. it's going to be a big one.
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please drink responsibly. >> dicky: music from nashville on "jimmy kimmelive" is brought to you by crown royal, the one made for a king. please drink responsibly. >> jimmy: welcome back. before w we get toason aldean, "good morning america" turned 40 years old today. nobody really knows this but, since i'm on late at night at the end of the show "good morning america" is on earlyn the morning. for almost 13 years now, one of my jobs here has been to call thegood morning america" anchors in new york and wake them up forork. becaususe it' their special day today i thought i might do that on the air tonight. if you don't mind, i have them all on speed dial. lara. >> hello? >> jimmy: hey, lara, it's your wake-up call. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what?
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thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: you're welcome, lara. okay, let's call ginger. >> hello? >> jimmy: ginger, you've had too many zs. wake u >> what? >> jimmy: : it's timto get up! it's always kill the messenger with these people. next is amy. oh. >> hello? >> jimmy: amy, wake up. >> i'm up. >> jimmy: and stop dreaming about me as little bo peep. okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: a right. finally, george likes to be called last so he can sleep the latest. >> hello?
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>> jimmy: george, a wallaby got loose at a florida zoo. get to work immediately! >> a wallaby? wow, i'm on it. thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. you're welcome, george. all right. thanks to sharon stone, dave bautista, and apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, the "we were here" tour starts in january. his album is called "old boots, new dirt." coming to you fromhe country music hall of fame in nashville, tennessee, with the song "jus getting started," jason aldean! i knew the minute that i picked you up it was gonna be a wild ride you kissed me like you couldn't get enough barely made it out of your drive burn a little rubber at the red light got a littttle warni from the blue lights it's only going
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feels more like midnight we ain't even turned up the radio ain't been two miles down the road the way you look at me baby i don't know if we even gonna make it to the party yeah we got a whole lotta moonlight left already having the time of our lives and we just getting started tonight girl you already got the window down and you got your seat laid back ain't even make it halfway to town and you're already talking aboua six pack already got your shoes off and you're talking about slipping off nah we ain't even found your friends and you already
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we ain't even turned up the radio ain't been two miles down the road t the way y look at me baby i don't know if we even gonna make it to the party yeah we got a whole tta moonlight left already having the time of our lives and we just getting started d tonight ain't had a drink and i'm torep ain't even had a taste of youlove but girl th crazy ththing is we just getting warmed up we ain't even turned up the radio ain't been two miles down the road the way you look at me baby i don't know if we even gonna
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