when an addict reaches for heroin or methamphetamine, chanans are they're saying hello notorious drug lords in the history of the world. into the eyes of a mystery. the drug lord joaquin el chapo guzman a man little known and rarely seen. for more than 20 years, el chapo has been saturating america destructive drugs. and as his empire expands, violence follows. his sinaloa cartel said to have been involved in thousands and thousands of deaths. the man himself so dangerous and elusive no prison can hold him. and so the largest manhunt since osama bin ladin is under way to find him when surveillance pictures show someone is about to get there first. nonothe police. not the army. wait a minute. is that the american actor

and d o is the woman with him? can it be the supernova of mexican television? actress kate del castillo. her biggest rolel reina del sur. queen of the south. she plays theresa mendoza. a beautiful and rapacious drug lord. and with her trip, so many questions. did it lead to his capture? why did heheake that risk? did she make deals? was it professional or something more? we are here in her home in california to find out. >> quiet, please. >> reporter: she has been living in the midst of furor and scandal. headlines ananaccusations. and she says she is finally ready to give her answers on tv. >> this is the first time at i'm on camera saying the truth. >> reporter: so what is the message you want to send to the tonight?

my family's honorable. and this does not define who i am. i affected a lot of people and i want to say, i'm sorry. >> reporter: when we arrive her family is there. her dad is a big mexican t t star. your parents were just here. >> i am so, so sorry that i put my entirirfamily through it. because that was not my -- that was not the point. i didn't know that this was gonna happen. and i would have never done anything to put them in that position >> reporter: so what is the story? how on earth does this whole strange explosive saga begin? the woman admired in mexico for being so outspoken and impulsive. the spanish word audaz. audacious. shlikes motorcycles. racecars. and holding her own with the boys. te

tequila brand called honor. one night she says she was sitting at her computer, just free associating about her philosophy of life. she provocatively takes on the catholic church for making women feel guilty about their sexuality. >> i have deep pain, i have sex, i have dreams, fantasies, desires. >> reporter: she attacks the reigning gavernment of mexico for corruption while so many people suffer. and then in one sentence she lights a fuse th will create an explosion. she says, unlike the government, at least the number one crime boss in the country is not a hypocrite. >> today i believe more in el chapo guzman than in the government. >> reporter: she urges the drug lord to turn his power for good. >> comomon, don. you would be the hero of heroes. let's traffic with love. you know howowo. life is a business. the only thing that changes is the mercrcndise, right? >> reporter: and that last line

would recognize. it's what her character says on queen of the south. teresa mendoza. >> teresa mendoza, yes. and then i said, "ah, this looks really nice. i'm gonna tweet it." and i finished my glass of wine and went to sleep, of course, not knowing what was gonna happen. >> reporter: she is now working in hollywood. >> i need to create my own things. because i'm not gonna wait for steven spielberg to call me, you know? and life goes really fast. and of course i'm in my 40s. so it doesn't get any easier. but i need to start with a big project so i can grab attention from the big people in hollywood. >> reporter: and one day she gets a call. >> there is this people that are calling you for a big hollywood movie. >> reporter: she calls back and learns the identity of the person answering her prayers. it is the lord of the drug trade.

>> and they said, we are joaquin guzman's lawyers. >> and i was in shock. i was in shock. >> reporter: she decides to fly to mexico to have a secret meeting with his lawyers. what's the first thing they said to you? >> bienvenida senorita. >> reporter: yeah, after that? >> and they say, "well, seor guzmawants you to do a movie about him. he wants to give you the rights of his life. and i was, "why me? why me?" i mean -- >> reporter: and why you? >> and they say, "well, because he is a fan of yours. he loved your character. but he loves your family. he knows your family are honorable family. and you tell the truth. you're brave." and i'm like, .well, yeah, but

wants to say in that movie. because i'm not saying any lies," you know? we all know who he is. i'm not doing a romantic comedy about the guy. >> reporter: she says she's not sure if she'll produce a documentary or a movie that is tough and gritty like the biopic "american gangster." but she tells the lawyers she'll finance it legitimately. not a penny from him? >> not a penny from him. that's, he, i mean, they asked me. "do we have to put money are we chaing for the --" and i'm like, "no! no." >> reporter: but i can hear someone saying, "okay, he's not giving you money. but he's giving you something that will earn money for you." >> i don't see it like that, diane. there's the godfather. there's all these movies taking about this drug lords. >> reporter: right, but your first reaction is not, "oh, my gosh, this is a $3 billion criminal enterprise. i am entering into a world in

first of all. and i could end up making common cause with one of the world' greatest criminals." >> i know. and i totally understand that. but i'm an actor. and i'm not the first one that has risked a lot of things to go and have a good story. >> reporter: is there anyone so repellent, so destructive. not uoing to find out who hitler really was, not gonna find out who pol pot really was. >> as an actor and a filmmaker, i cann say no. you know, it's a big opportunity to have, for the first time, someone tell his story being alive. being the biggest drug lord. i'm just an actor that wanted a great story.

organized crime. >> reporter: and since he's asked her toeet him she'll learn more about what he has to say. >> and it was for me, was really secure, because he was in jail. >> reporter: that's true. for the moment el chapo is in prison. but as you're about to see this houdini will soon make one of his great escapes. he races off to his secret and dangerous mountains ananwhere he goes she's about to follow. and when we come back, how a famous american actor signed up for the perilous ride. maybe almond breeze tastes so good because it's the only almondmilk made with califoia-grown blue diamond almonds. ofourse, if you ask one of our almond growers... there's no maybe about it. almond breeze. the best almonds make the best almondmilk.

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tt2watu# sd bt@q=&, tt2watu# sd "a@q-*h tt2watu# sd bm@q&!d tt4watu# sd " dztq ih$ tt4watu# sd " entq 9ld tt4watu# sd " gzt& k< tt4watu# sd " hnt& 0ep tt4watu# sd " iztq z,( tt4watu# sd " jntq h\h tt4watu# sd " lzt& p14 "20/20" continues. once again, diane sawyer. >> reporter: it is 8:52 p.m. on july 11th, 2015. a camera is focused on a maximum security cell in mexico's most heavily fortified prison. the prisoner is el chapo, and by the way, his name means shorty. he's about 5'6" inches tall. look closely as he seems to be going into the shower before bed. but wait, did he just disappear? incredibly, lift up the bottom of his shower and it drops into a tunnel where a motorcycle on rails is waiting so he can drive out fast. >> we're inside the el chapo tunnel. >> reporter: abc's gio benitez showed us the stunning

perfect ventilation running about a mile to carry el chapo to freedom where he can head back to his beloved sinaloa mountains. when it's over, seven prison officials will be arrested as complicit. the mexican people are outraged but not very surprised. >> intense manhunt now under way. >> it's laughable. >> reporter: seven were arrested. >> seven. oh, seven. come on. come on. >> reporter: you're sure that tunnel could not have been built? >> no. >> reporter: -- with more than seven people complicit? >> no. and what a tunnel, right? just perfect. >> reporter: the night it happens, kate del castillo says she's ouw with friends in los angeles. she gets a text from one of chapo's lawyers in which the lawyer says he's celebrating the escape and she says, me more. >> reporter: were you glad? were you happy he escaped? >> i don't know. no. not -- it's not exactly that i was happy that he escaped.

i think most mexicans were. >> reporter: did you think, "this would be good for my project?" >> no. i was devastated. in that -- i said, "oh my god, i -- my copyright just vanished." and i talked to the -- to the producers. and one of them said, "no. it just got better." >> reporter: she says she's now found two producers to raise money for the chapo movie project. they're well-known in hollywood for their work with oliver stone. and they tell her they have another we-known hollywood friend -- the actor sean penn. she's says she's excited he wants to meet with her and she thinks he's coming to help her on the project. >> you know, this big hollywood actor will give me more credibility. you know, about that i was -- i'm serious with this movie. >> reporter: and when they meet he has an idea -- take the fugitive el chapo up on his

sean penn, will go with her. so she asks to meet with el chapo. the answer comes back yes, and this time it's directly from the man himself. "hello, friend, what a pleasure to greet you. ger to greet you personally, friend. are you going to be around here?" he sends word, she can bring whoever shshwants. yeah, i mean, i was being nice because i wanted to get the

>> reporter: if she is being pleasant, sos el chapo, who is known to have a soft spot for beautiful women. his current wife a beauty queen, 26 years old. d as he awaits del castillo, we count 37 text messages to his lawyers as he tries to decide which phone he can send her to correspond that would make her happy. will you like the color. and is it the right color? and do they have it in pink? i mean, this is a guy with a case. >> i didn't know about those texts. again, i don't know how truthful they are. but it definitely -- i can't -- i just -- >> reporter: she says the parts of the texts that are leaked are designed to make her look bad. is he seducing you? are you seducing him? who's the cat? who's the mouse? >> right. well, again, i is out of context. i don't think it was necessarily me, kate del castillll he was probably, had a crush on teresa mendoza. >> reporter: had a crush? wait a minute.

i don't know. i think he's maybe an admirer? i don't know. i'm -- okay, maybe, yes. i don't know. >> reporter: but whatever is happening, the trip is on. >> reporter: so was it crazy? was it naive? was it a wild escapade? what was it? >> i think a little bit of everything. it was naive, for su. moving a little too fast, without thinking. and she has no idea when she picks up that phone el chapo sent from the lawyers, the government is already watching. in the meantime, up in the mountains, the mysterious king of the drug trade has embarked on a kind of cartel party planning. perhaps distributing even more of his notorious bribes to people in the area, perhaps sending out hundrere of his men into the woods to create a safe path for her night. >> he moved a lot of people. a lot of people. so, i mean, the risk was

>> chapo guzman was incredibly reckless, or was head over heels in love. >> reporter: this is jorge caststeda, a mexican academic and former secretary of foreign affairs who can't believe what is happening. >> did a lot of very foolish things. >> reporter: but for all his amorousness this is the man who changed addiction around the world, reinventing the drug trade. with his planes, his submarines, inventing the snaking tunnels that connect the drugs to nearly every american town. >> you have a person who uses terror, uses murder, uses corruption, uses unsneakable amounts of violence to build an empire. >> reporter: this is grainy cell phone video, reportedly of el chapo with an unhurried swagger interrogatina man tied to a post with his pants around his legs.. in america, there are seven indictments of el chapo, some of

chicago has named him public enemy number one, like al capone. murder, torture, that -- either directly or under his umbrella, under his direction. you're not disputing it. >> no, n n at all. >> reporter: so what will she do about this in her film? it is going to glamorize him. he's not going to admit to murders. >> well, don't know. they say that he wants to retire soon. so i think -- i think he's just tired. and i think he -- you know, those people have egos. >> reporter:r:ut even as thousands of mexican troops and dea agents are searching for el chapo, kate del castillo posts a picture on instagram

what it seems. taking a bottle of her new tequila. she heads to the airport and says she is both excited and very, very scared. coming up, the drug lord sees his favorite star. across america, people like basketball hall of famer dominique wilkins... ...are taking charge of their type 2 diates... ...with non-insulin victoza . for a while, ) t tk a pill to lower my blood sugar. but it didn't get me to my goal. so i asked my doctor about victoza .

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uh, hello geico?... yeah, i was just talking about your emergency roadside service and how it's available 24/7 and then our car overheated... what are the chances? can you send a tow truck please? uh, the location? you're not going to believe this but it's um... it's in a tree. i wish i was joking, mate, but it's literally stuck in a tree. (car horn honking) a chainsaw? no, no, all we really need is a tow truck. day or night,

tt2wmrst@! po j# , d tt2wmrst@! p!!*n \ , tt2wmrst@! p4!j# *6x tt2wmrst@! px#*&`:-8, tt2wmrst@! pt#j'`:98h tt2wmrst@! pt#j)`:2x, tt2wmrst@! pp#j*`:%c0 tt2wmrst@! pp#j,`:d9p tt2wmrst@! pl#*.`:m0\ tt2wmrst@! pl#*0`:v&4 the diane sawyer special continues on "20/20." >> reporter: look again at those surveillance photos leaked by the mexican government hinting that two actors are so ambitious they would sneak in for a meeting with a dangerous fugitive -- the world's biggest drug lord. so did this woman who lives in front of cameras know she was

surveillance? >> no. to be honest i didn't think about it. i thought he knew what he was doing by, you know, texting me. if i knew i was being followed, i would've never gone down there. because it's a lot of risk. not only my life, but everybody's life. >> reporter: you thought you were going to get in and out a a no one would know? >> yes. >> reporter: and something curious. here's the plane el chapo sent for them. did the governmenmiss that? >> we live in an era of drones and everything. but it's not like there's a constant beep where he is. they pop up and then they disappear. and then they pop up someplace else. >> reporter: it was also bouncing so hard del castillo says she takes a swig of h h gift tequila to calm her nerves. and even though she is thinking, el chapo will be impressed she is bringing the major player

we now know from texts, the drug lord had no idea who sean penn is and asks to google him. next, the group gets into a car for the long drive up the mountain. since penn doesn't speak spanish she frantically tries to signal him that the driver of the car is el chapo's son. >> sean was like, "well, translate me when it's important." and i like, "this is important. it's the son." >> reporter: on the drive they pass through sophisticated layers of security. ordinary looking people keep suddenly appearing, out of the woods. >> will come out with new cell phones or radios or something, you know? >> reporter: finally about 10:00 or 11:00 she says they arrive at a clearing on the mountain. so dark she doesn't t e who is opening her door. >> and he said, "amiga." and that how i knew it was him. because he called "amiga" and i was like, "oh, my gogo" i couldn't believe that we were there. i was just -- i didn't know how to react. >> reporter: did he embrace you?

>> he kissed me on the cheek and embraced me. we all do that in mexico. that's the way we say hello. >> reporter: so where they meeting? multiple reports have identified this place just outside the town of cosala, at the nuestra senora nature reserve, nestled high in the sierra madre mountains. though we want you to know the reserve itself denies that they were the location. we do know when del castillo moved into light, she looked at the man rarely seen by the outside world. >> he's actually taller than i thought. because they call him chapo, for shorty. and, his eyes just -- just penetrate you. like a dagger, is that -- it -- they're just like mesmerizing in a way that you cannot just turn around. but scary. you know, it's scary. because it's really strong.

clearing. we don't know if it is this one but they are at a wooden table under lights. and security, we've seen pictures of el chapo's armed soldiers in the past. but del castillo says she now w knows that the armed soldiers were hiding out in the woods. and chapo made sururin her eyeline there were just a few people relaxed. no weapons. a table of fooarriving almost out of nowhere. >> a local family maybe or something like that. carne asada, tacos, langostinos, a bunch of thing. i just saw that it was a big, i just couldn't eat. but i knew i had to. because i didn't want to be rude i think i did one taco. i don't even remember. tacos are my thing. so i went for the taco. yeah. >> reporter: seven hours, what did you talk about? she says he talks about his family, protection of his sons, his mother. >> he talked about his mom. he wanted me to meet her.

talks, she's thinking 25 years ago, when he became head of the cartelhe's eyes seemed almost challenging but now she says his face appears more like a man who wants to give up running. >> i sensed that -- that he was probably tired. >> reporter: but he confirms he is sending an ocean of drugs to the united states and around the world and he is the biggest. did he say, "i supply more heroin, methamphetamine, cocaine and majuana than anybody else in the world"? >> yes. but he still loves his kids and he still loves his mom. so there's something -- there's love inside there somewhere. >> reporter: we ask, did he talk about his tentacles into the mexican government. all those bribes. the corruption. financing political campaigns, paying for his own protection. >> no, no, he didn't. he said, about politics, the politicians go do their job. i do mine. and that's it.

he talks, the crime boss displays almost suburban manners. >> he doesn't even say a bad word. and nobody around him smokes or do drugs. and it was like, "oh, sean is the only one who smokes here." >> reporter: which brings us again to sean penn, who doesn't speak spanish. depends on her to translate. she says at this dinner penn threw her a very sharp and very dangerous curve. she says she simply didn't know that the only reason he was on the trip was to get his own interview for rolling stone. she e ys when he asks her to translate that's his plan she's afraid to look alarmed or surprised because chapo and his

>> i was just like, "okay. this is new for me." why didn't you tell me this? it's like there was no way i was going to do that. >> reporter: penn says she knew about the article and was "nothing but excited couldn't wait for it to come out." at some point during their evening on the mountain, penn wants to make sure he gets a pictures with el chapo by himself. do you have a picture? >> yes. >> reporter: can we see it? >> sure. >> reporter: this is her picture -- the drug lord in blue shoes and the blue designer shirt. by the way, that shirt is now selling out in stores. she says afterwards they to the table once again still drinking tequila. >> we did finish the bottle, yeye. we all had a little bit of honor. >> reporter: did you all get pretty drunk? >> well, his son almost finished the bottle, i was like, "hey. it's for your dad. >> reporter: and as the party rolls on into early morning the drug lord apparently takes a look at his tv dream girl and notices that this is a woman whoho may have had one tequila too many. >> because he said, "i think you

i think the tequila --" i was tipsy. and i was like -- i said, "yes, i think it's time." >> reporter: tipsy, like dizzy, tipsy? >> you know the tequila just got to you -- i was not drunk. but i was not in my entire five senses. and i was like, "oh, my god." and he said, "i'm coming -- i'm -- i'm showing you your room." >> reporter: chapo leads her down a dark path, we don't know for sure, it could be one like this in the reserve. >> where i was going to spend the night. and it was the only time that we were alone. that was really scary. >> reporter: and coming up next, we'll tell you what he does when

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this specici edition of "20/20" continues. once again, diane sawyer. >> reporter: let's pick up again

the actress who's had a lile too much tequila, panicking as a drug lord kes her out into the dark. we think this is the path they walked toward a bungalow that has a bedroom. >> when we turned around and we were alone out of anybody's sight, i was waiting for him to make a move or just to grab me probably in a different way. you know men. i had no idea whwh intentions. you knowowin my head it was every -- everything happened in my head. and my partners couldn't do anything. >> reporter: what would you have done if he'd made a move? >> oh, my god, i -- i -- >> reporter: you must have thought about it. >> i don't know. those seconds were crucial for me. i thought everything. of@course, i did think about it. i don't know, diane. i don't know. >> reporter: woozy, terrified, she says he did something startling. he simply tried to steady her on her feet. >> i knew he -- he was not going

something that would harm me. >> reporter: what do you mean? how -- how did you know? >> just the way he very gently put his hand on my elbow. >> reporter: and she says in that moment, sort of like in the movies, somebody a little wobbly tried to say something a little brave. >> i actually got the guts to tell him. i said, "this is now or never and if i don't say it right now i might not have another opportunity. and if i sayayt this might be my last words. i ask him. i said, "amigo," while we were walking. "amigojust don't forget what i said on my tweet originally. you're a powerful powerful man. you can do something good." >> reporter:r:ncluding, she maintains, telling him she wanted a way to acknowledge victims of organized crime.. >> i was literally dying inside. and i thought, "if he gets mad, if he -- i don't know what i'm

him. of mine. amiga. you have a great heart. do it." and he said, "i'm not staying you won't see me tomorrow. i never stay where my guests are for their security -- and mine, as w wl. so you won't see me again. thank you so much for giving me one of the best days. thank you." >> reporter: with that, the dangerous drug lord vanishes. >> and then when we said good-bye, he -- he hugged me and he gave me a kiss. >> reporter: she says she pretty much staggered into a room where all four of the guests had beds. this is one of the rooms at the ecological reserve. we don't know if it was like hers. >> i fell asleep. and i was like, "oh, what should i take off? nothing. what if we have to run or what if we --" and of course, because -- you know, i'm the only woman there. i think probably one hour later, the lawyer came in and said, "come on, up, up, up." >> reporter: and then, like one

telenovelas, she takes the wheel, trying to outrace the storm clouds and the thrhreat of being discovered. she says they ask her to drive them down the mountain, past all intruding eyes. >> because mostly when they see women driving, they don't stop them. and i said, "of course, yes." >> reporter: and when they're back in los angeles, sean penn has another idea -- get el chapo to send answers to his questions on videotape for his magazine article. she says she still wants penn to help support her movie project, and rationalizes that maybe getting something on tape from chapo is a good backup plan. >> because we don't know if -- if the guy can be killed the next day. so maybe we can base the movie on this article. >> reporter: before long, she's arrived. a cell phone in it.

he sent the video in. this was the actual one that he was -- tape with. [ speaking foreign language ] >> reporter: his first words, "this is for kate del castillo." as the tape rolls for 17 minutes, you see the master drug lord, the man they call the king of the mountains, stumbling, trying to figure out what looks good on tv. should he do it without a hat? no, the hat goes back on.. he shaved his mustache. the whole thing a strange tableau. when he talks, the roosters crow. his answers are halting as he says drug dealing is necessary for economic survival in mexico. she says she's just stunned that he sent this tape because she asked. >> i was being pressured by sean to get the video. so when i saw it, i was moved. i was really moved. >> reporter: you're moved by

>> oh, i was moved by him doing this for me. sending it to me and all the risks that, you know. it's just crazy. we've never seen a video of him. >> reporter: and later, she will learn that just days after she and penn left the mountain, the government moved in on chapo with helicopter gunships and marines on the ground. she says she heard of one report that there was an exchange of fire in villes nearby. innocent people were killed or wounded. and the woman who has written about her country suffering so much from violence says she inks about this moment, because she worries this one's on her. >> there were many things that happened after we left. and for that, i will always -- always be sorry. >> reporter: because of the lives lost? >> yeah.

there's so many innocent people that is dying, you know? and just to think that because of me -- being there led to somhing like that, that's something that i'm going to have to live with. >> reporter: coming up next, is she worried el chapo thinks she put him in jail? and is the mexican government threatening to put her in jail too?

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tt2wlr=[jk@%o j# d"\ tt2wlr=[jk@%!!*n 4"4 tt2wlr=[jk@%4!j# b4@ tt2wlr=[jk@%x#*&`:e:4 tt2wlr=[jk@%t#j'`:q:p tt2wlr=[jk@%t#j)`:zz4 tt2wlr=[jk@%p#j*`:ma( tt2wlr=[jk@%p#j,`:,;h tt2wlr=[jk@%l#*.`:%2d tt2wlr=[jk@%l#*0`:>$, "20/20" ctinues. once again, diane sawyer. >> r`porter: january 8th, 2016. before dawn, troops move in on a house in a coastal city and el chapo is there. a barrage of bullets. but amazingly he escapes behind mirrors which hide one of his secret tunnels. the tunnel leads him out through the mexican sewers. here you can see in a grainy video how he pops out of a manhole half a mile away, and then he tries to get out of town in a stolen getaway car. but the vehicle breaks down and they nab him. no longer the guy wearing his

man captured has a filthy t-shirt. what do you see? >> i see -- he tried to run for sure. >> reporter: there's a famous perp-walk, officers push his head down and then turn it so the world has proof they got their man. in his safe house they found his arsenal and his personal dvd set of h show, "queen of the south." but she thinks it's just too convenient. >> i don't trust the judicial system in mexico. it's something that they want us to see. >> reporter: and from the first moment the mexican government t said the ability to track her trip was essential to the capture of el chapo. though yesterday they toldlus it was just a "contributing elent." so are they trying to get her in trouble with the drug lord? but do members of the cartel think you led to the capture of their leader? >> i don't think so. i'm not a law enforcement agent or i don't work in the government.

you know, betray someone like that. plus, it would be stupidh i mean, it's my life at risk and my famy. >> reporter: she reminds us the capture was three months after her meeting on the mountain and in a different place. so why would the government do it? to endanger your life? >> maybe not to endanger my life. they want to put me as an example because theye very angry at me. >> reporter: they want to take you down. >> i think so. i'm just a toy for them. everybody knows it's a witch hunt. >> the mexican government can leak whatever it wants to whoever it wants. they're more interested in smearing her. >> reporter: and the mexican attorney general has openly insinuated that l castillo may have come close to money laundering.% someone released an exchange of texts with el chapo's lawyer about her tequila project. >> and he's like, "and maybe, you know, mr. guzman can inveses in it." and i'm like, "yeah, sure.

for me it was like, i'm just -- of course, i wouldn't have received one cent. i have not received one cent from the guy. not one cent. i wawajust, "yeah, whatever." that w it. yeah. stupid. yes, i regret that. yes, i do. yes, i do. i've done a lot of mistakes in my life. you know, and -- and that was one of it. >> reporter: and she says another one of her mistakes was being naive about sean penn's "rolling stone" article. it appeared the day after el chapo's capture. she says it contained an inflammatory passage that simply wasn't true. penn writes on their triup the mountain to see el chapo they were stopped at a military checkpoint, but soldiers see the n of el chapo and wave them through. >> it's not true. we never stopped. we were never stopped by a military checkpoint or by any other person@or checkpoint. never. >> reporter: why is the checkpoint so important? >> well it is humiliating for the mexican government. for the marines, for the

it is such a bigigssue and we can get in so much trouble. which i am, by the way. >> reporter: we reqched out to sean penn who says the check point incident did happen, and he stands by his story. but as of tonight, del castillo says it still stings that penn has been calling himself a journalist while in the article she is called "our ticket to el chapo." "our ticket to el chapo's trust." >> well, he got it right in that way. you know, beuse he wouldn't be there if it was not for me. >> reporter: aren't you angry at him? >> yes, a little bit, i am. t again, i'm angry at myself. because i believe in people. and i didn't know sean penn. >> reporter: she was so sure she says he would help her on her big project in hollywood. >> i think he was never interested in the movie. >> reporter: penn answers her tonight, "i like kate.

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for the 51 mlion of us who may need a different kind of underwear, this is depend silhouette active fit. it's slim and smooth so wearing it is no big deal. get a free sample of depend at underwareness.com tonight, kate del castillo is still a powerful actress. and not long ago, she became an american tizen. saying she loves both countries,

the interview about to end. we notice something. >> i looked sad? >> reporter: she's told us she doesn't dare go back to mexico, afraid to be arrested and adds she never intended to hurt anyone. i. >> i need to deal with my legal problems. >> reporter: tonight, that drug kingpin, el chapo, is sitting in the same mexican prison where he escaped last year. there are l these reports that he's in isolation, that he has dogs outside the door, that he has blood pressure problems. do you feel sorry for him? >> no, i don't. i don't feel sorry for him. i think he's a big guy. i think he knows what he's doing. and i think he knows what's his choosing this life is like. >> reporter: as he said on that videotape, even without him, the drug trade will go on. and there's something else about el chapo and kate del castillo that may surpre you. you're still in touch? >> yeah, through our lawyers.

she says he's agreed. you're still going to do it? even at this price? >> yeah. more than before, you know. yeah. it's cost me so much in so many ways. >> reporter: how are you going to be changed after this? >> i'm going to become stronger. my adrenaline, being brave, has to be a little bit more thoughtful. >> reporter: the internet is still having a field day mocking her. someone posted kate del castillo as a pinata and here, like casablanca, we'll always have paris and sinaloa. >> you know what's something funny that i love about mexicans, that we have this sense of humor. >> reporter: she says a darkrk moment, a friend sent her a

girls who give up. a dferent take on the word fear. f-e-a-r. >> it's a bad word. [ bleep ] everything and run. or [ bleep ] everything and rise. so i'm choosing the second onene >> with that, thank y y for joining us. i'm diane sawyer. from everyone at "20/20" and abc news,good night. >> nfl tragedy. one day after a cycle crash, baltimore raven and miami native tray walker has died. >> a one and only exclusive. a stunt performer set on fire after a pep rallyy walking out of the hospital later today. >> i'm calvin hughes, before president oba's visit, more on

>> a jury awarding him over $100 million. >> and the security we're live (vo) you can check on them. you can worry about them.

(mom) honey, are you ok? (child) i'm ok. (announcer vo) love. (mom) we're ok. (announcer vo) it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. >> live, the one and only local 10 news starts right now. >> off the top tonight, nfl player and south florida native tray walker has died from his injuries after a dirt bike accident and now family and fellow players are mourning the loss of a young man with so much promise. meantime investigators want to talk to another n nfl player. joining us now with late details details. >> janine and lore, tray walker's sister was able to confirm for me, he's gone.