tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 2, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
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>> announcer: hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight susan sarandon, ramon rodriguez, from the los angeles dodgers, yasiel puig. and music from robin thicke. with cleto and the cletones. and now, what are the odds, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for being here. thank you.
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everyone okay tonight? no one needs the heimlich or anything like that? last night i arrived home from work to discover that my wife, who is pregnant, made rice crispy treats, which for most people is good news. but for me, my body is my cash register. without this, there's no this. and the main reason i didn't want to eat these, is i know once i start, i'll eat all of them. not only will i eat the whole tray, i'll find the bag of mini marshmallows and eat the rest of that, too. so because i can't resist, i just cut a sliver off the end, just a long but very slin slice, just a taste. i do this with pies sometimes, too. especially pumpkin pie. i'll carve up like 1/18th of a slice, and i keep eating slivers
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until somehow miraculous half the pan of rice crispy treats has disappeared. [ applause ] i feel like i'm going to snap, crackle, and pop. and may god have mercy whatever animals land on my grill on fourth of july. speaking of this, i was trying to figure out what to make of the fourth of july. ham buggers and hot dogs get a lot of the attention, but the fourth of july is really the blue berry's day to shine. when you need a blue food to round out your red, white, and blue dessert item, there's nowhere else to turn but the blue berry. every year, the blueberry has it right where it wants us. i'll say something, good for it. it deserves it. it really does. [ laughter ] right? [ applause ] don't do that. i don't like it. this morning, toronto mayor rob ford attended his first
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executive committee meeting since his return from rehabilitation. people ask me what is it about rob ford that fascinates you so much. there are obvious things like the crack and falling down and knocking people over. speaking with a jamaican accent at a fast food restaurant. even without that, this shot is from the meeting this morning, and look at that. somehow, somehow the man is even funny when he drinks water. i mean, think of the funniest comedians of all time. was richard pryor funny when he drank watter? i don't think so. but rob ford is. the straw matches the color of his face, too. mayor ford left that meeting early to do a round of somber interviews. dwight drummond of the cbc got right to it. at the top, he asked the mayor about the notorious photo where
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he i peers to be smoking a crack pipe. >> what's happening here? we can guess, but can you tell us? >> that's exactly -- >> is that a crack pipe? >> yes, it is. >> what was happening? >> i was smoking crack. >> jimmy: of course. it's what you will do with a crack pipe. mauz because . >> jimmy: but rob ford was not even close to being the most contrite foreign leader in the world today. this comes to us from japan. our guitar player toshi was able to fill me in. this is a japanese politician who was accused last week of misusing chose to $30,000 in public funds on travel, including more than 100 trips to a hot springs resort. the guy is very upset by the allegations. he expressed that anguish during this press conference. [ speaking japanese ]
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: making his own hot springs with the tear. i think we found our new bachelor, folks. the all-star game is coming up on july 15th. if you want to vote who should play in the game, you can do that until 11:59 eastern time tomorrow. guillermo, i know you voted. guillermo doesn't just cast ballots, he prides himself on being an informed voter.
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he likes to know everything about the person. so guillermo traveled to dodger stadium today to interview outfielder yasiel puig. yasiel doesn't do many interviews, right? >> he's very shy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he defected from cuba, became one of the best players in the major leagues and today he sat down with guillermo for this. >> how are you? the all-star game is coming up. before i vote for you, i have a couple of questions. first question, who is on first? >> adrian gonzalez. >> exactly. good answer. okay. another question. are you wearing a cup right now? >> no. >> okay. we'll be careful, i'll be careful. let me ask you one more question, do you feel bad for the pitcher when you hit a home
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run? >> no, i'm so happy. >> but you break his heart. >> yes, sometimes the pitcher breaks my heart, too. >> i decided to vote for you. you got my vote. do you have a pen? help me fill this out, okay? all right, here, you do have of this. >> okay. >> and me, too. >> thank you. you sing with me -- ♪ take me out to the ball game buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks ♪ >> i said peanuts and cracker. >> peanuts and cracker.
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>> sn my pain. forget about the crackers. >> what's your name? >> guillerm >> guillermo what? >> rodriguez. >> rodriguez? i don' someplace there. i'm going to vote for you, and you need to vote for him. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is interesting. with all that's going on over in iran right now, it seems very odd to note there's a tv show over there, a sitcom, it's weird that they have a sitcom in the first place. but the sitcom is a rip-off of "modern family." they used iranian actors and made shot for shot re-creations with the same plots and jokes. but their "modern family" has no gay characters. apparently they don't want to see homosexual relationships portrayed as normal. you see fox news, we're not so
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different after all. the most modern family on iranian tv up to this point was the flint stones. seven stones is a traditional game they play in the middle east where teams compete to build and destroy a pile of rocks. so "seven stones" followed by "how i met your mulla." speaking of people from other lands, it's summertime in l.a., which means there are thousands of tourists from all of the world on hollywood boulevard. many of these visitors stay just a few doors down from us. it's a very inexpensive place to stay, starts around $30 a night. tonight we're going to give someone a chance to heave and spend a night in a luxury room at a fancy hotel.
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it's time to play hostel la vista, everyone. cousin sal, great outfit. let's meet the contestants. number one is who? >> brook. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> new zealand. >> jimmy: how long have you been in the united states? >> two days. >> jimmy: are you enjoying it so far? >> loving it. >> jimmy: what has been the most fun experience you've had so far? >> oh, that's a tough one. probably just the star walk. >> jimmy: walking around and looking at the sidewalk has been the best thing? >> yes. >> jimmy: sounds like it's a great trip so far. you haven't seen any celebrities at all? >> no, no. >> jimmy: all right. let's meet your competitor tonight. and he is -- i see your name is jonah. >> nice to meet you. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> england. >> jimmy: what do you do? >> i'm a barber.
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>> jimmy: no, you're not. >> i am. >> jimmy: brook, what do you do for a living? i neglected to ask you. >> well, i'm actually a butcher. >> jimmy: a butcher? >> yes. >> jimmy: a butcher and a barber. all we need is a candle stick and we'll be set. okay. so you saved up, jonah, and you're here on a trip. is that all your luggage there in your back snack >> it's my life. >> jimmy: how long have you been over here? >> we've been here a month and a half. >> jimmy: what's been the highlight of your trip so far? >> all of it has been great. >> jimmy: so you're having fun, very good. are you going to any other places while in the united states? >> we started in seattle and we have come down the west coast. >> jimmy: very good. welcome to both of you. what you're playing for tonight is a luxury suite at the roosevelt hotel located just a stone throw away. and yet a world away from the
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hostel you're in now. say goodbye to that community bathroom and hello to a 750 square foot king suite. you name it, they have it. but to win, you have to know a little something about us. i'm going to ask some trivia questions about our city and state. which of you gets the most answers right gets the room for the right. ready? >> yes. >> jimmy: cousin sal, are you ready? >> i still can't get over the "how i met your mother" joke. [ applause ] >> jimmy: [ bleep ] probably wrote that joke by the way. time to begin. question number one, and ring in when you know the answer. what is the zip code for beverly hills? fans of american television would know the answer to this
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question. there was a show called beverly hills -- brook. >> "90210." >> jimmy: that is absolutely right. brooks a the lead. next question, what stadium do the dodgers play in? what stadium do the los angeles dodgers, a baseball team, in what stadium do they play? if you ask each other for advice, it defeats the purpose of the game. anyone want to take a wild guess? >> we don't know. >> jimmy: the answer is dodger stadium. that was a tough one. all right. known for its redwood, what tree is the official state tree of california?
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>> say again. >> jimmy: known for its red wood, what tree is the official state tree of california. yes, jonah? >> the redwood? >> jimmy: that is absolutely right, jonah. you nailed it. i'm trying to make these easy. all right, we're going to make this the tie breaking and final question. what is a sushi roll containing crab, avocado and cucumber called? brook? [ inaudible ] >> jimmy: no. jonah, do you have a guess? >> a sushi roll? >> jimmy: no. that is not it. the answer was a california roll. i'll give you one more. what are the 10, the 101 and the
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405? brook? >> street addresses. >> jimmy: no. jonah? >> highways. >> jimmy: that is absolutely correct. jonah, you are the winner, but brook, you are not going back to the hostel empty handed. for you, we have a special gift. it's a haz/mat suit. you can sleep in that in the hostel. congratulations, jonah. cousin sal is going to take you and your luggage over to the roosevelt hotel. welcome to all of our friends from foreign lands. there we go. >> jimmy: tonight on the show from "gang related" ramon rodriguez is here. we have music from robin thicke. and we'll be right back with susan sarandon.
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robin thicke from the at&t outdoor stage. you heard about this. this whole album is about trying to get back together with his wife. the song titles are "get her back," "too little too late." "still madly crazy," "love can grow back," "i'm going to sue you if you don't love me." you know what happened right? le i don't know if people know this. she caught him looking at a lands end catalog and i guess she went nuts. so hopefully this performance tonight gets them back together. tomorrow night, jessica alba will be here to ride the tweeter totter. from the new movie "tammy" ben falcone will join us and our musical guest will be sia. that little girl from her chandelier video is going to teach me and guillermo how to dance. not that we need any help. but she's going to teach us what she knows. our first guest is the academy
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award winning star from movies like "thelma and louise" and now she plays the grandmother in "tammy." please welcome susan sarandon. [ cheers and applause ] how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: gra >> jimmy: great to have you here. >> thank you. i love that. thank you. >> jimmy: i happen to know, because i've been spying on you, that you were across the street today. melissa mccarthy got -- that would be real tourist attraction, if the celebrity were to become imprisoned in the cement. >> that's an idea.
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>> jimmy: that would take the wax museum thing way over the top. she was here this week, and she said that you advised her, you inspired her any way, to do it a little differently than the way people mostly do it. >> well, when i did mine, i got ready to do it. yeah, you write, you do your hands. then you do your feet. i took my shoes off, and they were like, oh, my god, nobody since shirley temple has done that. like, do you do your hand prints in mittens? it didn't make sense. she's kind of shirley temple-ish, so she did it. >> jimmy: that makes perfect sense to me. have your shoes in cement. >> little tiny squares of your little things. i don't know. >> jimmy: they're not even important shoes, shoes you're going to throw away after the event. >> maybe i just didn't want to though away my shoes. i was being practical.
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>> jimmy: "bull durham" is one of my all-time favorites. [ applause ] >> i love that movie. >> jimmy: as a matter of fact, that's the reason i decided to play professional baseball because of that movie. >> you thought you were going to have lots of sex? >> jimmy: yeah, i was wrong it turned out. >> it probably works out for you. >> jimmy: not really. you would be surprised. >> now you're married, right? >> jimmy: i am. that's what really cut down on the sex. >> tell that to robin thicke. i don't know. you think that's going to work? >> jimmy: i don't know. it better work, because if not, that's embarrassing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we were talking about -- i was talking about bull durham. was that written for you, that part? >> oh, no. >> jimmy: it was not. >> no.
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everybody that they really wanted wouldn't read. >> jimmy: for real? >> for real. because you get to a certain point, actually i thought i was at that point, but they wanted to see the chemistry test, you know how they do that. so ron, the first-time director, felt strongly that he wanted all the women to read with kevin, and all of the people that were at the top of the list refused. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> so i was living in italy if a little house at the beach with a very small child, and i got the script, kind of happen hazardly, and i read it and it was such a good script. they said they would read me, but i had to pay my own way over. >> jimmy: wow. >> i know. and i had a long trip to talk my ego out of the way. and then i got kind of dolled up, and i went and i read. and then it seemed to -- i read the entire movie.
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>> jimmy: with kevin costner? >> with kevin. and i worked my way to the airport by stopping at the studio and lap dancing a little bit to whoever i had to see at that point. and then i got back and i got to the house, and we didn't have a phone. and so two days later, the neighbor came knocking and said you have to call. i had gotten it. >> jimmy: it's crazy, the neighbor had to come over. >> to give me the phone. >> jimmy: do you guys have a phone now? is everything okay? >> i don't have that place or that guy anymore. that was years and years ago. join wow, that's pretty crazy. >> yeah, it was crazy, but it was such a good experience. i was so racist about jocks. i thought this is going to be a nightmare to be in a movie with
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so much testosterone. they were so sweet, though. i made barbecue chicken every single weekend for everybody. >> jimmy: i have a photograph. there you are. >> at the height of my soccer career. i was just so flabbergasted, because that stadium was huge. >> jimmy: this is with the cosmos that used to play. >> this is when people weren't into soccer as they are now. the guy i was going with had a son who wanted to meet pele. so i was supposed to score a goal on david frost. >> jimmy: really? >> and you could tell by how much equipment i was wearing that i was ready to get physical on that. protective knee dosocks. >> jimmy: it doesn't look like you got picked first, but you got picked before him.
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and you met pele? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's pretty good. >> i met him and he comes to a number of charity things that i've run into him since then. but now they're getting so big. in every sport they're gigantic. >> jimmy: because they take steroids now. >> oh. i see. >> jimmy: susan sarandon is here. we'll be right back. when francois thibault said he was going to make vodka in cognac, with spring water and the best french wheat. everyone here said... non, non! but little by little, the world got to love what he had made. grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.
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we're -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] . >> jimmy: you're drunk in that, very drunk. it's funny, they make you up to be a grandma, and you really don't look like a grandma. you look like a great looking grandma. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm going to be a grandma in august for the first time, and my daughter got -- and my grandma name is honey. she got me this necklace that says honey. and someone today asked me if it said horny.
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so i hope my granddaughter doesn't start calling me horny. >> jimmy: i like grandma horny. that is nice. >> i hope i still am horny. >> jimmy: so i have a proposition for you. >> oh. >> jimmy: this is an interesting thing. this is a photograph from the movie "thelma and louise." [ applause ] this is one of the first selfies really depicted in film. >> we invented it at that moment. >> jimmy: i thought it would be fun if we could re-create that. now, i have some stuff. i have the sunglasses. it should match pretty well. and i've got a jean jacket for myself. there's a makeup pencil if you could draw that on my face. and also, i've got a wig. so i'm going to put the wig on.
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i'm going to be thelma. i look more like the guy from white snake. all right. and now i'm going to put this on here. and actually, if we could open that curtain right there. we have it all set up. i want to do a modern version of that photograph with an iphone instead of the -- so if you could just also draw that. yeah, that little beauty mark on my face. right where gena davis' is. this is a great look for me. we could do the sequel. i guess there can't be a sequel to that movie, can there? unless the car bounces.
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i've got a phone here. we'll use that. here we go. i'll turn it around. now, you have to hold it just like you did there. and am i doing -- am i on the wrong side? oh, face that way. we should face this way i'm told. >> can they see the back? >> jimmy: i don't know what they can see. i don't know what's going on. there we go. it's pretty good. wow. i feel very thelma right now. i have to say. susan sarandon, everybody. thank you, susan. "tammy" is in theaters now. we'll be right back.
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hey there can i help you? shhhhhh (whispering) sorry (whispering) hi, uh we need a new family plan. (whispering) how about 10 gigs f data to share and unlimited talk and text. (whispering) oh ten gigs sounds pretty good. (whispering) yeah really good. (whispering) and for a family of four, it's $160 a month (impressed, breaks whisper mode) what! get outta here! (whispering) i'm sorry are we still doing the whisper thing? or? (whispering) o! sorry! yes yes! we'll take it. at&t introduces our best-ever family pricing. for instance, a family of four gets 10 gigs of data, with unlimited talk & text, for $160 dollars a month. use these innertubes in the so, you're sapool?we can't sorry, sir. it's hotel policy. is it really hotel policy? i'm afraid so, sir. do it. how about now? woo-hoo! i deserve this.
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with the man who won our game, jonah. he's from england and we have him via skype right now. how is it going, jonah? >> good. >> jimmy: do you miss the hostel at all? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you do? are the accommodations not to your liking over there this >> no, no, it's okay. but it could be better. >> jimmy: how could we make it better for you? >> just kidding. i'm kidding. >> jimmy: go to the mini bar, take whatever you want and enjoy. did you come here by yourself? do you have a roommate or anything? >> i've got a roommate, shawn. >> jimmy: will you bring shawn with you to the hotel? >> yeah, yeah. definitely. >> jimmy: i feel like i'm on an erotic chatline or something. have whatever you like, okay?
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>> jimmy: you know our next guest from "the wire" and "law & order: svu." now he plays an under-undercover lapd officer in "gang related" thursday nights on fox. please say hello to ramon rodriguez. [ cheers and applause ] how's it going, everything all right? things good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: life is good? >> yeah, i'm happy to be here. everything is all right.
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i've been spending a lot of time at the dentist. >> jimmy: why? >> i've got a -- i have what's called internal absorption where the root of your tooth -- i got elbowed playing basketball in college. so i've been spending the last six months going to my dentist, dr. daniel nasan, aka dr. doom. he's been putting me through all kinds of torture. it's just been rigorous. >> jimmy: is it a real tooth he put in? >> i don't know where he gets the tooth from, but the shading and the detail to make it look like the other. it's insane. so i've got a rod up here and i've been taking selfies the whole time and watching the world cup from a reclined position. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i have to say, i feel like dentists hire guys to knock other people's teeth out at basketball games. >> that makes sense, keep them in business. >> jimmy: it's definitely a
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profit center. >> is it ever a good time, ever? >> jimmy: at the dentist? yeah, sometime it is you get enough of that gas. >> then it's fun. >> jimmy: if you get gassed for a cleaning it could be a lot of fun. you're from new york originally. >> i am. >> jimmy: fourth of july, i grew up in brooklyn. sometimes i try to explain this to people. what was fourth of july like when you were a kid growing up, and what part of new york from you from? >> lower east side. it's a huge deal. it's a major, major event. i grew up in a neighborhood where, to be honest, not a lot of white people would go to, especially when i was growing up, unless they were going for really bad things. it wasn't a great area. so fourth of july is the time of year when everyone -- i lived on the lower east side by the east live wrer the fireworks go off. so everyone would head through my neighborhood to get to the east village. it was the one time of year where all kinds of people would
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be walking through, and it was a little intrusive. you were like, who are all these people, stampeding, hundreds and thousands. so my friends and i decided this is a great opportunity to go up on the roof and fill up some water balloons with water and other bodily liquids. >> jimmy: so, no. >> so growing up in new york, some of the buildings are connected. so we would go up on my roof and jump roofs all the way to the corner and we would have garbage bags full of balloons and just start bombing people. then we would run back to my building, go downstairs, run back to the crowd and say, did you see those [ bleep ] up there! >> jimmy: you know you're going to have to pay one day for that.
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there will be some karma retribution. >> i've already had that. i've paid my dues. >> jimmy: all right, good. we're at an even area. this is interesting, you've been posting this on your twitter account. these are photos in which you appear to be levitating. that's the grand canyon, correct? >> that's correct, yeah. >> jimmy: and this is not photo shopped? >> that is not photo shopped. that is years of meditation and working on my energy and my chi and it also has to do with location. there's my mom. i'll explain how this happened. look at my mom, so beautiful. i took my mom on a road trip. >> jimmy: great idea. >> for two weeks. she came out to l.a. and we went all around these different maces. utah, the grand canyon, we
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started in arizona and worked up to wyoming, jackson hole, came down to the redwoods. i told my mom, i can levitate. i said, when we get to these certain areas, when i feel it, when the energy's right, and if i have enough silence, and you allow it to happen, i might show it off for you and we can document it for you. so there's proof that this happened. >> jimmy: this is the way you tricked your mother into being quiet on the trip? this is what parents do to their own kids. >> you learn from your parents right? >> jimmy: can you levitate for us here tonight? we would all love to see that. >> something about hollywood boulevard tells me the energy isn't right. >> jimmy: we could be quiet for a while if you need. i would really like to see it. by the way, if you're not
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levitating, i think it's more impressive that you have a 48 inch vertical leap. >> it's levitating. >> jimmy: this show "gang related" is a very interesting premise. the idea, correct me if i'm wrong, you may a gang member who joins the lapd so you can report back on what's going on to your boss, in the gang. >> that's correct. i spent time with the lapd doing research for the role and i had to speak to some gang members out here. so i had a great friend of mine inang activity. he took me there and introduced me to some gang members. >> jimmy: hey, guys. really? >> it's true. and i start -- we try to start talking but they're looking at me like, they're just not giving me the honest truth. i go listen, bob, you've got to get out of here.
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go around the block, give me some time with these guys where i can speak to them and let them put their guard down. so he does and he leaves me and i sit down with these guys, and they truly start explaining things to me, the culture out here, i'm from the east coast, but different culture. they start explaining it to me. we're there for a while and i see bob coming back around the block again. and he tries to be sneaky and he thinks it's so cool that i'm sitting with these guys at a table. and he tries to snatch a photo on his iphone and one of the guys sees it. >> jimmy: did they kill him? >> it feels like it should go there. no, but they go up, and as soon as they start approaching him, he's like, my bad, i know that's wrong. and he shows them, i'm going to delete the photo. and you see the respect level, because if he doesn't do that, they no longer trust him.
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like the relationship and how it works, it's incredible. he has to have their trust, they have to feel they can trust him to a certain extent. >> jimmy: it's like they're his best customers or something. >> in a weird way, it is. it is. >> jimmy: the show is called "gang related" thursday nights at 9:00 on fox. ramon rodriguez, everybody. i when we come back, music from robin thicke. what can i get you?
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[customer] oh, sorry. i was daydreaming. [server] dreaming about your wedding, huh? [customer] yes! actually. [server] with a big ice sculpture and a string quartet? [violins playing] [customer] yeah. how'd you know? [server] you've got the new instant game from pennsylvania lottery. [customer] yeah. $1 million golden ticket, with 5 top prizes of 1 million bucks. [narrorator] want to see your dreams come to life? you could scratch your way to instant winning today. the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life.
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>> jimmy: i'd like to thank susan sarandon, ramon rodriguez, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, his album, "paula" came out yesterday here with the song "get her back" robin thicke. >> all right, jimmy, are you going to help me get her back, pan? ♪ ♪ all i wanna do is keep her love keep her love keep her satisfied ♪ ♪ all i wanna do is make it right make it right
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is make you smile tonight ♪ ♪ all i wanna do is give you that thing play you that song you and your girlfriend sing ♪ ♪ all i wanna do is get you back tonight i gotta get to go get to go get her back ♪ come on, y'all. ♪ i gotta get to go get to go get her back i gotta treat her right oh i gotta cherish her for life ♪ ♪ i gotta get to go get to go get her tonight i never should have raised my voice ♪ ♪ or made you feel so small i never should have asked you to do anything at all i should have kissed ♪ ♪ you longer i should have held you stronger and i'll wait ♪ ♪ for forever t for you to love, love, love me again all i wanna do ♪ ♪ is keep her love keep her love keep her satisfied
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all i wanna do ♪ ♪ is make it right make it right is make you smile tonight all i wanna do ♪ ♪ is give you that thing play you that song you and your girlfriend sing all i wanna do ♪ ♪ is get you back tonight i gotta get to go get to go get her back i gotta get to go ♪ ♪ get to go get her back i gotta treat her right oh i gotta cherish her for life ♪ i gotta get to go ♪ ♪ get to go get her tonight oh it's so hard oh it's so hard but it doesn't have to be ♪ ♪ all i wanna do is keep her love keep her love keep her satisfied ♪ ♪ all i wanna do is make it right make it right is make you smile tonight ♪ ♪ all i wanna do is give you that thing play you that song you and your girlfriend sing ♪ ♪ all i wanna do is get you back tonight
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i gotta get to go get to go get her back ♪ ♪ i gotta get to go get to go get her back i gotta treat her right oh i gotta cherish for life ♪ ♪ i gotta get to go get to go get her tonight ♪ i don't know what i was thinking letting her go ♪ ♪ i miss you, so much baby, i just want you to come home ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline."
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>> tonight, vacation danger. it seems like a harmless thrill ride, until a carefree adventure went terribly wrong. questions are raised about the safety of parasailing, this survivor speaks out about the 14 minutes that hm turned a dream vacation into her worst nightmare. plus, nothing says summer like barbecue. and here in texas, it's big business. now there's some hot new competition, and you'll never guess where it's coming from. >> i'm not sure if they use this technique in texas, but the pizza still works for us in new york. >> get fired up for the barbecue wars. and america saw a terribly good-looking convict.
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