featuring 204 silverado. visit elkins at the r from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." [ cheers and applause ] tonight, gary oldman. nathan fielder. the world's ugliest dog gets a makeover. and music from bleachers. with cleto and the cletones. and now, from this moment on, it's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. you're very nice. welcome. i'm jimmy. i'm host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i appreciate that.

hey, quick personal question, if you don't mind. how many of you are single in our audience here tonight? okay. and how many of those that are single, how many are smart? well, it's good to know your limitations i guess. the reason i ask is because match.com is teaming up with mensa to create a dating site called mensa match. exclusively for people with genius i.q. scores. mensa and match.com say they partnered up because 80% of single people want to be with someone as smart as them. can you imagine sitting next to two people on a mensa date? [ laughter ] waitress, would you mind if we move tables? and this is interesting. as part of the announcement, they released a heat map to show where america's smartest singles to live. according to them, the number one city is durham, north

carolina. l.a. did not make the top 20. [ laughter ] here's a tip. i know you're all geniuses. but next time you make a map, try a non-herpes related color, like blue, to indicate where your singles live. online dating is fascinating to me. you hear crazy stories about it. you hear about people meeting up in strange motels. doing god knows what to each other. then you hear your aunt meets her husband there and his name is ernie. so, we thought it would be fun to use online dating as the basis for our question. we asked people have you ever had sex with someone you met on the internet? as a group, we ale try to determine whether they have done the deed with the help of the worldwide web. all right? let's begin. >> alicia lasso. seattle, washington. >> have you ever had sex with someone on the internet?

>> jimmy: what do you say? has alicia ever had sex? >> yes! >> jimmy: let's find out. >> no. >> because? >> because that's creepy. and scary. and disease fested. >> jimmy: disease fested? is that -- we'll let her slide on that. next up. >> i'm jim lewis from ohio. >> have you ever had sex with someone you met on the internet? >> jimmy: has jim ever had sex -- >> yes! >> jimmy: you can't always judge a book by its cover. >> yes. >> jimmy: you sure you don't want to take a second to think about that? who else do we have? >> my name is matthew from silver lake. >> have you ever had sex with someone you met on the internet? >> yes! >> jimmy: you're saying yes to everyone. [ laughter ] all right. let's find out. >> i have not. i would never! oh, my god, i would not be able to do that. i have known my boyfriend for

months. i would not be able to just -- it's not for me, no. >> jimmy: his boyfriend is a lucky man, i guess. and our next pedestrian is? >> i'm shawn from jupiter, florida. >> have you ever had sex with someone you met on the internet? >> no! >> jimmy: split pretty evenly here. let's find out. >> yes, i have. a few times actually. >> how was it? >> it was great. better than i thought it was going to be. >> jimmy: they held me down and put nickels in my ears. [ laughter ] he looked like tim duncan, didn't he? next up? >> adriana nelson from miami. >> have you ever had sex from someone you met on the internet? >> no! >> jimmy: let's not fight about it, guys. let's find out. >> actually, yes, my husband. >> jimmy: what kind of sick person has sex with their husband? she looked like julia roberts,

right? we have tim duncan and julia roberts. i think they shot "pretty woman" out there. maybe she's a hooker, who knows? who's next on our pedestrian list? >> i'm from chicago, but i'm now based in san francisco. >> have you ever had sex with someone you met on the internet? >> jimmy: has herbert -- never met a herbert before -- had sex with -- let's find out. >> no. no. no, i haven't. had sex with someone on the internet. no. >> jimmy: but i did buy this giant hat on the internet. i believe we have one more. >> i'm marcie from cleveland, ohio. >> have you ever had sex with someone you met on the internet? >> no! >> jimmy: most of the audience is saying no. a smattering of yeses. chrse world insoprummm, maybe.ot

bror crit thing, a player from uruguay who uldeitappeluis spe player from ringam yhasserhet her ng timg m e inme?opdehily tusdiculous alao you mo agree with you.yo ti if trd tnu, e s r.re we have deemed our world cup play of the day.laughter [ use er.an usea hutt e prod

asals l fourx,bcye , ng w aouncasncofld a bcn , we a utnd moisoome.eabe i acsh by vimuir, anneor bwich, wr wasord.b aollingand go.ri tla. thhereleu iwho kns e itly je eyer

while everybody was busy trying to like soccer, the world's ugliest dog was crowned in petaluma, california, this weekend. he's a 2-year-old mutt named anu lillim,ai, : wld phtaiwow..nd of put thesi waro keov[ myar

la[ e ,t alause ♪au mpowner. ikop?go jimmy: isn' h.myollm'stg .a the i dsshoy ] ni t [ cheers and applause ] so, you're saying we can't use these innertubes in the pool? sorry, sir. it's hotel policy. is it really hotel policy?

i'm afraid so, sir. bnorrecipe rb yod.vo, llmie this.ouo-hoo! riti, anji im bea at pets makle is nspimeke li 51,anwhen toosetsve hee more moments like these, while giving back to the community, saving over 5 million lives, and transforming unlikely places into dog parks. at petsmart, we're in it to create more moments like these everyday.

petsmart®. inspired by pets. (vo) ours is a world ofssgee re. d. (vo) tllthat'sthree.

...for au.enr ba lacotit'sc wo listadf r ho ...for au.enr ba lacotit'sc ilnd gas ht useeeds bunow wa listadf inn. bettiss r ho ...for au.enr ba lacotit'sc d one deposit a month wastencfe' s a fn cecu ? to y lunme e. onhoe .de hr nse anpo pio thtu n tn ayald.t esd r anbubw

nsn y se slaee y.

e plsa dncd iau td o at did. an interview you did with "playboy." >> it was an article i did with "playboy." lltext. semn vs,ndinell,met wer. and ol, d i let u i ou bpuicigd amn

.nhe facteat el tho>>stth yahld tgito o chot so, thank you. >> i mean, have you ever been -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i do stupid things all the time. but i think it's important when somebody apologizes to accept their apology. like some people, nothing is ever enough. and there's no end to it. and you could go on forever for

some people. but it's obvious -- well, i guess, i don't know. you are a great actor. so, we cannot trust anything you say. [ laughter ] >> oh, no, trust me. >> jimmy: all right. so, yeah. this sort of thing, i think we now see it over and over again. and where you have to go on tv and apologize for something. but sometimes you get caught up and you start talking and then -- >> i just think that you -- we're public figures. and sometimes we're looked upon as social or cultural or political commentators. and i can't speak for other people. but i'm not, clearly. and i stepped out of my area of expertise.i and i -- and i jus landed both feet in a hornet's nest.

>> jimmy: yeah, in general, they say defending mel gibson is not a good thing to do in any way. i think i understand what you were trying to get at, though. you were talking about people being hypocrites. people love to jump up on their soap box and take shots at people for saying something, when you know a lot of people are saying -- not all of them, but a lot of them are. >> not all of them. but it just -- it just came over in a certain way. and for that, i'm deeply sorry. >> jimmy: well, let me make the most awkward transition possible and say, are you excited about "planet of the apes"? [ cheers and applause ] >> wte tnet of t ngis event itipose

s. n>> fhe eall>>d to , i-- mal e jchete jt, ys bediim >>, the apesh,s n .yeah.mys y thd.y madehei meai g move. visome of th some of the original films, toc t bannd

ng esne>>gos t an we e o?ine veof ybthe arle oigpplause ] nyesant

keoes,toh ck gorisso fsta esett nyesant hes-ri'verces-nz oberoiselwn yo a r dt hes-ri'verce cieasstroiselwn yo a eg t'go999 ,. get thwispy eg ue tasewedsme.c a br bs.-a e tretchage fit evan ' to neas ioksoflou is onvoeaanted, o 1bly'sheure a a! mteriic

that's exciting. i love the idea of apes riding .

the movie, you're promoting a new spor uld becomdes --me st'rt it's an individual -- >> well, it may later develop into a team sport. >> jimmy: i like that. >> like a tag kind of teamimso n>>ete st yh,do yen>>uuna? gore you've go ahead of me. >> a>> y you waol

>> yngu toapla ur d>>. on >>t in tr. thereed and appin ehn o

wiited, rrsos ve uine.n e see you torrow dy nd papdoof of y . ..alerish? thratoyo

w randnd csheer bandchab.e 50etd orusin antibioed n ge smyep,o ne stretches wi m ♪ le.foanr reh)faicerdors yne "nh mmis that ice cream? mmm! uh, no, it's breyers gelato indulgences. you really wouldn't like it. it's got caramel and crunchy stuff. i like caramel and crunchy stuff. [ female announcer ] new breyers gelato indulgences -- it's way beyond ice cream. why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. ask if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor. the summer of this.mmer. of taking action.

the summer that summers from here on will be compared to. where memories will be forged into the sand. and then hung on a wall for years to come. get out there, with over 50,000 hotels at $150 dollars or less. expedia. find yours. he paid for ya. ♪ it's a german luxury sedan. but it's still an audi. ♪

the audi a4. performance with the right attitude. get exceptional offers on the audi a4 during the summer of audi event. visit audioffers.com today (sfx) rings sound design. if you're going to be in the l.a. area and want to see the show, call 866-jimmy-tix, or go to jimmykimmellive.com. at university of phoenix your education is built to help move your career forwher: we work with leading employers to learn what you need to learn so classes impact your career. while helping ensure credits you've already earned pay off. and we have career planning tools to keep you on track every step of the way. plus the freshman fifteen, isn't really a thing here.

my 2in1 helps me unlock it.it'sr ion is a powerful thing. and graduation, it's just the beginning. . blet when esisor1 helps me unlock it.it'sr letot.♪ ion is a powerful thing. verybody hereon, got t♪just the beginning. . ♪amee se ♪

w ♪ er ! w , athan yos

.eao naeeus a

hoisth tsorythu tt >> jimyo, yoknow w ent.us y yh,arckmb okd arity g,

a trunnrole , ey alssi a strai do thim: ou imd tmar. we d.e buside.e y sveu know heo er'sma buyodoto k y p 'tnvthemhath's ses e ou-mhiet .nes someond whi y - yerhe ieard ya part itasit w

n sadik yo yoeme yr moane re did he do? >> kind of along those lines. maybe that's where i get some of this stuff from. >> jimmy: probably. >> my dad convinced me when i was a kid that the ceo of the company he worked for was 4 years old. [ laughter ] and it wasn't -- it was pretty elaborate. he got my mom in on it, and my sister, who is three years younger than me. he had a whole name, the guy's name was sidney bench. and he -- he has all these stories. he would come home with detailed stories every day. at first i thought it was a total joke and i didn't believe it. but after he was relentless about it. he would have these detailed

stories like oh, he made this speech today in reference that he thinks lunchtime for you guys is like recess for me and no one laughed at the joke because it's a weird joke. so, specific stories like that, that aren't even good stories made me think, oh, this has to be real. and i believed it and i told all my friends at school that my dad's boss is 4 years old. they said, no, you're an idiot. i said, no, this is serious, for real. and he kept it going for months. and i wasn't even that -- i was 14. [ laughter ] so, i wasn't even that young. i think i was just really coti wo msot theou me psmaso, id d thyovi b ieer ayuses that arefr the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by

at&t, mobilizing your world. " dd an mituaial ." uid to g if yth e my sly,eauid to g k seed&twomorld.

fld a mo isbus o ng berseers a be i wanndwe gve useim

f iha♪i afa coe ght d ay ♪ etter,ter i o ch g i got♪as hat eler b baring ta ate setheet i did a changwn ♪ me ♪a♪mo winy m fothe show

♪ i've got to get better crashed my car because i want to get carried away ♪ ♪ i didn't know i was lonely till i saw your face i wanna get better ♪ ♪ better, better, better i wanna

get better ♪ ♪ i didn't know i was broken till i wanted to change i wanna get better ♪ ♪ better, better, better i wanna get better ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is a special edition of "nightline" -- >> tonight, murder in the sky. we're on the scene of one of the deadliest air disasters ever. >> the first thing that hits you is the absolute carnage of it all. >> new information about the investigation, as the portrait of the american victim emerges. how could this have happened? and how safe are you really when flying around the globe? plus, who fired the deadly missile? right now, the search is on for some of the most-wanted men in the world. >> outrage of unspeakable proportions. >> new evidence about how the passenger plane may have been shot down. and what this mystery vehicle has to do with it. can those responsible ever be brought to justice?