>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" [ cheers and applause ] tonight -- chloë grace moretz. ufc champion jon "bones" jones. and music from the mighty mighty bosstones. and now, let's face it, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, very nice. i'm jimmy. i am the host of this show. thank you for watching. glad you're in a good mood.

we're going to have fun tonight. our announcer tonight, dicky is going to sing for us tonight with his band the mighty mighty bosstones. [ applause ] the mighty mighty bosstones unless you've been living on top of a rock are the godfathers are ska core, which is music, right? >> it's the best music. >> jimmy: it's the best music. sounds like it could be an event at the x games, but it is music, ska core. and these guys have been knocking on wood for -- how long have you been doing this? >> dicky: many, many years. >> jimmy: and quite frankly it's time to freshen things up. tonight they'll be adding a new bosstone to the band and that bosstone is me. i'll be playing bass clarinet. [ cheers and applause ] people ask me why i play clarinet, because clarinet players get all the women. chloe grace moretz and jon

"bones" jones are here. [ cheers and applause ] they're going to fight each other. a new thing we're having. all our guests fight. a russian crime ring, which by the way, the worst kinds of crime rings, russian, they've stolen 1.2 billion user name and password combinations, which i'm pretty sure is all of them. can there be more than that? they stole the information from hundreds of thousands of websites. no one is saying which websites yet. but experts are recommending that you change all your passwords just to be safe. i have to say, i would almost rather have all my information stolen than have to change all my passwords. [ laughter and applause ] i really would. it's a pain. no one's information is safe information. not even the government is safe. the federal government believes there's a mole leaking national secrets the same way edward snowden did. this mole has reportedly been leak security documents and classified information since at least august of last year. and jack bauer has exactly one

day to find him. starting now. [ sound effects ] i love that sound. it's like the world's most dramatic egg timer. here's what i've never understood. why do leakers, why do they always expose national security information? why not leak stuff we can use, like the colonel's fried chicken recipe? i would like to have that. we seem to be doing a lot of spying lately. last week it was revealed the cia has been illegally spying on the senate, specifically the senate intelligence committee, which is the committee that's supposed to supervise the cia. [ laughter ] i mean, that's -- who do these people think they are? facebook? [ laughter ] the closest thing i've ever gotten to stealing a secret is when i used my wife's deodorant without her permission. [ laughter and applause ] you got that, guillermo? >> i got it. >> jimmy: thank you. i mentioned this last night.

i got mad about it some more. this week scrabble, the board game scrabble which i love for some reason decided to add a bunch of stupid new words to the scrabble dictionary. words like selfie. selfie is now a scrabble word. as if anyone who uses the word selfie is playing scrabble. they also added the word bromance, which makes my physically ill. it really does. and they're introduce something new two-letter words including po, p-o. g-i, gi. and da, d-a. as in in da club, i don't know. [ laughter ] as a fan of both scrabble and the english language i find this to be unnecessary and unacceptable. scrabble is supposed to be a game for smart people. if you're going to add words like selfie and bromance, you might as well just do this. >> love scrabble, but hate words? >> yeah! >> introducing scrabble for idiots. the first edition of scrabble that lets anything fly. >> how about "flamp"? >> sure.

>> keesh. >> great. >> it's a pie from france. >> sure it is. >> how about just the letter j? >> that's a word. >> that's a word. >> what about "ewn"? >> why not? scrabble for idiots. >> that's me! >> from the makers of jeopah-duh. >> available at walgreen's. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what it's coming to. do you like my tie? you know, i've been doing this show -- thank you. for a long time. i still can't get used to wearing a tie. actually, the wearing of the tie is fine. it's the picking it out part i have a hard time with. it's a very complex process. and tonight i think i really hit it out of the park tiewise, right? this is a good one. [ cheers and applause ] i will admit, i did get a bit of help earlier. ♪ >> hi, i'm chris harrison.

>> i know who you are. you scared me. what are you doing here? >> i noticed you're having a tough time picking out a tie. >> jimmy: yeah, actually i am. >> well, it's my job to help people talk to their feelings and make a tough decision. >> jimmy: even about ties? >> jimmy, especially about ties. i'm here to guide you on this journey. shall we begin? >> jimmy: yeah. >> come with me. >> jimmy: i will come with you. ♪ >> so tell me about them. >> jimmy: well, the wool tie, i like the material. it's warm. it's sensual, even. but when i feel it, i'm not feeling it. you know what i'm saying? >> interesting. yeah, i do. what about the silk tie? >> jimmy: the silk tie is beautiful. it's soft. it's classic. it's a little bit off center,

but it hangs right over my heart. and i like that. >> that's a good thing. what about this one, the bow tie? >> jimmy: it's not my usual style, but i do kind of love how snobby it is. it's like, hello, i'm a genius, what are you going to do about it? you know. >> all right, jimmy. here we are. you have three amazing ties right here to choose from, but only one neck. are you ready? >> jimmy: i'm scared, chris. >> i know, jimmy, i know you are. but it's time. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy, this is the final rose tonight. when you're ready. >> jimmy: before i make my decision, i just want to say

that every one of you is fashionable and wearable in your own special way, but i can only choose one. i've done a lot of soul-searching, and i've decided to give this rose to -- ♪ the. ♪ silk tie. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] would you go around my neck? chris, will you tie this for me? >> you don't know how to tie a tie? >> jimmy: no, i do not. [ laughter ] >> jimmy, i'd be honored.

♪ ♪ even when i find myself a million miles away ♪ ♪ don't you know all roads will lead me back to you ♪ >> jimmy: i can't thank you enough for this. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: i've never been happier. >> you look it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to chris harrison. watch chris on "bachelor in paradise" mondays at 8:00 on abc. he helps those guys too. he's just a helper. that's what he is. you know, i love to cook and i think i may have found a new cooking mentor. her name is auntie fee. she became very popular after posting a cooking video online.

there are several videos of auntie fee online. i've seen all of them multiple times. if you're not yet familiar, here she is making chicken wings. >> so what are we doing now? ? this is a bag of chicken. this chicken is still frozen. okay? and this is parsley. dried parsley. you see that [ bleep ] right there? this will make any [ bleep ] taste good, okay? i don't have time to be waiting on the sprinkles and all the that. what you got to do, you mix all this up. see the water in there and all that [ bleep ] there? put it in a pan. put it on 50. cook for about 2 1/2 hours. 3 hours if you want it to just fall off the mother [ bleep ] bone. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: needless to say, i fell head over heels in love immediately. we tracked auntie fee down. joining us now live via skype from her kitchen in south central l.a., please welcome annie fee, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]

before we begin, please tell us how to correctly pronounce your name. >> you know how you say i ain't going nowhere? >> jimmy: yes. >> okay. i'd like the audience to just repeat after me. ain fee. >> jimmy: ain fee. >> there it is. >> jimmy: i love your videos. i watched them all and i couldn't wait to get them on the show. your son is running the camera right now, right? tavis. can we see your cameraman, tavis? i think he's an important part of the equation. there he is. he's a handsome kid. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for doing this, guys. you're going to make us a five-minute meal. so what is in the five-minute meal? >> i'm going to do you some shrimp. i got you a salad. i have you some fried bread. open it up like this.

the camera better be on me, we only got one shot at this. [ laughter ] jimmy, are you there? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm right here. tavis is not getting close enough on the food, i think. >> get on the food! [ laughter ] i'm sprinkling some of my secret seasoning on it. >> jimmy: what's in the secret seasoning? what's in there? >> salmonella, how about that? >> jimmy: delicious. okay, all right, so you've seasoned the shrimp. these are big shrimp. >> i've seasoned the shrimp. i'm going to show you. this is really good, really easy. you don't eat too much different stuff. i already washed my hands, so the people won't know. i'm not going to force anybody, but here we go. >> jimmy: what are you frying those in? >> okay, butter. you know i do butter. >> jimmy: okay, butter. all right. >> just a little bit, though.

while i'm doing that, i'm going to get you some bread right quick. >> jimmy: okay. >> garlic bread. >> jimmy: you made that garlic bread? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: what's in the -- never mind. >> boy, you better be over here. [ laughter ] okay. look. see how it's kind of pink around there? >> jimmy: yeah. >> they're pretty much done on one side. >> jimmy: right. >> i just turn them over. because you could be, i'mma get me, i'mma go use the bathroom. only take about five or ten minutes to use the bathroom. you want something to eat when i get out. i'm like, okay, have these ready by the time you get out the bathroom. are you there? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm right here. >> say something, so i know we're communicating. >> jimmy: sorry. i didn't want to interrupt. >> jimmy, look at the, um, shrimp right here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> look. >> jimmy: what is that you're squirting on them? >> it's lemon juice.

make them sweat a little bit. get ready. >> jimmy: it's gonna be hard to follow this recipe at home. [ laughter ] you won't tell us any of the ingredients. it does look really good actually, i have to say. >> i put my seasoning on the shrimp. >> jimmy: you did. >> i wasn't going to tell you that. i don't know what else you want me to tell you. i told you about the bread. it's just garlic and butter. here go your bread coming out. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> it's hot. okay? this right here. >> jimmy: yes. and that's it? >> okay. are you with me? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm with you. >> we got shrimp, garlic bread, and a salad. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> hey, on me! [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: you don't like -- [ laughter ] are you upset with tavis? did he do something wrong? >> the show is about food, not about you. you supposed to be showing -- >> hold on, hold on. we getting a little disrespectful. [ laughter ] i cooked real nice this time. okay? on your salad it's lemon juice. >> jimmy: lemon juice, that's all, huh? that's the dressing? >> i don't want you to put no dressing on it or -- oh, yeah, a little bit of my seasoning on there. that's about all you're going to get. >> jimmy: a little salmonella on there. here in the studio, guillermo has just brought me what remains of the shrimp you sent over. there's no shrimp left. >> i ate the whole thing. >> jimmy: he ate the whole thing. how was it, guillermo? >> it was great.

>> jimmy: it was very good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, thanks, aunt fee. i got a new favorite aunt. ufc lightweight heavyweight champion john "bones" jones is here. we have music from the mighty mighty bosstones. and we'll be right back with chloe grace moretz. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ nothing will keep you from magnum. made with silky vanilla bean ice cream, rich caramel sauce and belgian chocolate.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the show is a vicious man who takes on an unfortunate gentleman named daniel cormier for ufc 178 on september 27th, jon "bones" jones is here with us tonight. [ applause ] we have music from boston's finest, the mighty mighty bosstones from the at&t stage led by our announcer dicky barrett on vocals. you introduced me. i'll introduce you later. it's a good arrangement. tour starting this friday in salt lake city - then onto denver, seattle, portland, san

francisco, l.a., las vegas, st. louis and chicago. i'll be joining the bosstones on my bass clarinet tonight. and i'm taking it very seriously. i was up very late last night. got both of my arms completely covered in tattoos. tomorrow on the show mickey rourke, jornada brewster, and music from banks. you're invited to that too. our first guest tonight is a very talented young woman who started acting at the age of 5, overcame a very serious addiction to juice boxes, and went on to star in the movies "kick ass," "carrie" and "diary of a wimpy kid" among others. her latest is the big screen adaptation of the best-selling book "if i stay." >> i like to watch your face. you go to another place. and you're beautiful. ♪ you get this crease in your forehead right there.

>> why do i have this feeling you're about to mess up my entire life? >> a little rest never hurt anybody. >> jimmy: very romantic. "if i stay" opens in theaters august 22nd, please say hello to chloë grace moretz. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how have you been? >> jimmy: everything all right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations on the movie and all of this stuff. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're still in high school. you're a senior now, right? >> i'm starting senior year in about a week or two. >> but you go to home -- you don't go to home school. you wake up at home school, i guess. >> yes, exactly. i walk to my living room. >> jimmy: you take the bus into your kitchen. >> yeah. my mom packs me a lunch. >> jimmy: will you go to home college after that? >> no. i'm actually going to try to go to nyu or something. >> jimmy: you are? >> maybe. we'll see. >> jimmy: it will be weird studying amongst other people. won't it? >> it would be strange. not my mother.

>> jimmy: why do you feel you need to go to college? i think you're all set. i don't think it's necessary. >> i kind of want to go to college to study cinematography and film editing. >> jimmy: okay. i hear chapman college is real good for that. [ cheers and applause ] it's a little inside audience joke. these four girls think their school is as good as usc. >> ooh, that was low. >> jimmy: last time you were here, you were learning to play the cello for a role and it turns out the role is this movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you really learned to play the cello. >> yeah, i studied for about seven months on it and practiced with it. it would be kind of silly to say i in seven months learned such a classical instrument because it's incredibly intricate. but it was really mainly -- the seven months were kind of learning the passion that cellists have when they play and kind of the emotive --

>> jimmy: do cellists have passion? >> a little bit. just a little bit. >> jimmy: it seems like the opposite of passion to me. but what do i know? i'm a clarinet player. they're the most passionate. >> oh, are they? >> jimmy: oh, yes. of all the woodwinds. it is widely regarded -- do you like classical music? >> yeah, i do. i kind of like all kinds of music. i'm not really biased on what kind of music. my family kind of looks to me for music advice, though. >> jimmy: they do? >> yeah. for my brother's wedding i kind of deejayed. >> jimmy: so you were there and doing this and stuff? >> yeah. i was doing this on my macbook. scrolling through itunes. >> jimmy: i deejayed my brother's wedding as well. >> really? did he pay you? because he didn't pay me. >> jimmy: no, of course he didn't pay me. did you want to be paid? >> kind of. in his defense i did walk away from my computer like after song two. >> jimmy: yeah, that's not a good thing. did you put it on shuffle

or something? >> it went to britney spears. i'm like here we go, we're good here. >> jimmy: everybody just danced. that doesn't ever work, really. it's a weird thing. >> it kind of does. >> jimmy: did it? >> yeah, i was like the only sober one there, so they're all partying to britney spears and don't even know what the song is. >> jimmy: i see. why didn't your brother hire a deejay at the wedding? >> he's kind of a penny pincher. he's also my business manager. that's why i was kind of like, you're always asking me to save money, so why aren't you passing >> r0 bucks for oo fullie tau'ha a brey.>> i'sim: e?for me-ts?nggy amev>> jime i g ke knowok're ies thnot

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rs a m t t deeible sm rie last ptteti ov tender buggn il d tebrks my 2in1 helps me unlock it. the imagination is a powerful thing. it's a laptop when i'm a writer and a tablet when i'm an illustrator.

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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. i'm not playing on this song. they won't let me. but i'm playing on the next one,

whether they like it or not. you can see these guys on tour this summer. starting this friday night in salt lake. and saturday in denver. here with the song "they will need music" from "the magic of youth," the mighty mighty bosstones! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ the weight of the world at least that weight would only be increased ♪ ♪ beyond what mortal men would dare to bare ♪ ♪ even though the weight was great they stormed the beach and then they ♪ ♪ crashed the gate and after there was music in the air ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ they will need music to uplift

it'll be a godsend it'll be a gift ♪ ♪ and hope and glory to coincide they'll need the strength and ♪ ♪ warmth and comfort that the music will provide ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ giving everything they had and then sometimes you'd have to give again ♪ ♪ other times there's nothing so to speak ♪ ♪ they rose to the occasion it was cause for a celebration ♪ ♪ and the celebration lasted for a week ♪

♪ they will need music to uplift it'll be a godsend it'll be a gift ♪ ♪ and hope and glory to coincide they'll need the strength and warmth and comfort ♪ ♪ that the music will provide ♪ ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ♪ ♪ they will need music to uplift it'll be a godsend it'll be a gift ♪ ♪ and hope and glory to coincide they'll need the strength and warmth and comfort ♪ ♪ that the music will provide

♪ they will need music to uplift it'll be a godsend it'll be a gift ♪ ♪ and hope and glory to coincide they'll need the strength and warmth and comfort ♪ ♪ that the music will provide ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: that is the mighty mighty bosstones. i'm going to play this thing next. we'll be right back. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is

presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. so brian at citizens said one deposit a month waves the monthly maintenance fee. he's so good to me. mom! this is amazing! i know. no fee. no. brian at citizens bank. he gave you a special deal?

he's into you. sounds like it's time to get back out there. honey, anyone can get one deposit checking. besides, he's younger than your brother. eww. you got that right. one deposit checking. only from citizens bank. one deposit of any amount each statement period waives the monthly maintenance fee.

>> jimmy: i'd like to thank chloë grace moretz, jon "bones" jones. i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, here with the song "the impression that i get," the mighty mighty bosstones! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ have you ever been close to

tragedy or been close to folks who have ♪ ♪ have you ever felt a pain so powerful so heavy you collapse ♪ ♪ no well i've never had to knock on wood ♪ ♪ but i know someone who has which makes me wonder if i could ♪ ♪ it makes me wonder if i've never had to knock on wood and i'm glad ♪ ♪ i haven't yet because i'm sure it isn't good ♪ ♪ that's the impression they get ♪ ♪ have you ever had the odds stacked up so high you need a strength ♪ ♪ most don't possess or has it ever come down to do or die you've got to rise ♪ ♪ above the rest ♪ no

♪ well i never had to knock on wood ♪ ♪ but i know someone who has which makes me wonder if i could it makes me ♪ ♪ wonder if i've never had to knock on wood and i'm glad i haven't yet ♪ ♪ because i'm sure it isn't good that's the impression that i get ♪ ♪ i'm not a coward i've just never been tested i'd like to think ♪ ♪ that if i was i would pass ♪ look at the tested and think there but for the grace go i ♪ ♪ might be a coward i'm afraid of what i might find out ♪ ♪ never had to knock on wood but i know someone who has which makes me ♪ ♪ wonder if i could it makes me wonder if i've never had to knock on wood ♪ ♪ and i'm glad i haven't yet

because i'm sure it isn't good ♪ ♪ that's the impression that i get ♪ ♪ ♪ i've never had to ♪ but i better knock on wood cause i know someone who has which makes me ♪ ♪ wonder if i could it makes me wonder if i've i've never had to ♪ ♪ i better knock on wood ♪ and i'm glad i haven't yet ♪ i'm sure it isn't good ♪ that's the impression that i -- that's the impression that i get ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." tonight, surrogacy inc. for some couples it's the only way to have a child. stars like sarah jessica parker and ricky martin had their kids through surrogacy. but now one woman is on a quest to stop it all. >> i take the position we shouldn't be doing this. >> tonight we go inside the anti-surrogacy movement. is the business of making babies getting too big? plus, shake it off. taylor swift has a new anthem. ♪ shake it off ♪ shake it off the pop princess is revealing the inspiration for her latest hit. and girl power. she throws lik