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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 25, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

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fin0 espodsdoh.th kestenbaum. j y want. g iimmy: wait ane h nh,'rall ri >> hi, jimmy. gulela >> jimmy: i'm good. do you have a license to drive one of these, guillermo? >> not really. >> jimmy: you're like a giant chupacabra in that thing. tell us, what can the giant creature do, guillermo? >> this giant creature can do a lot of things.
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eat, drink, and fart. >> jimmy: all right. thank you for the comedy, guillermo. guillermo, i want to put the creature to the test and play a round of simon says. all right? >> okay. >> jimmy: you know how simon says works? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: wow. this could scare the hell out of the immigration guys down there. [ laughter ] >> very funny. >> jimmy: all right. now, guillermo, let's get some people there, cousin sal. i want to play simon says. >> come on in. >> jimmy: preferably kids. okay. good. >> we have some kids. >> jimmy: kids, you know how to play simon says? >> turn to the camera. >> jimmy: yeah, turn around. i assume they know how to play simon says. now, guillermo, for the first round don't say simon says. just tell them touch your toes so we'll eliminate people right away. the kids can't hear me right now. all right? so just say touch your toes. >> touch your toes.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. all right. all right. >> you're out. >> jimmy: we only nabbed one of them. all right. next one. simon says -- what else .>>f wesr ndr ps toesess my: altu -thmegant >>l i'm s bmy i e eye s : imall ppuso comin't,ture-co!ha
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acngra te t nacrange >>ra n black. oo new e is no longer the new n is.li ty' rbs a story that's kind of funny but also kind of sad. 4 inriffith park, not too far e eoe ee is dead now becauseasons? rrison tree. tiwan a blowfish. meatloa ppened eers a]came out of my wi.d. beenasd thingirl.
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>> yes. >> jimmy: at her high school >>at is the b-word?olle rllwhata >> it's just like pitch, but you say "b." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: horrible pitch. >> no. >> jimmy: yeah, that is a bad one. jno.-t an e chst, b-wh h beaer seeat tkew t'
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ul'tt why nobe lan'bey just bto.icis a real tough customer. >> they don't do anything. abs not even drink wine or like something else. that's not how you do that. >> jimmy: i said nothing about wine. i don't know where you got that from. [ laughter ] did you drink wine when you were a baby? are you drunk right now? >> you know who's trying to treat the baby to be drunk? >> jimmy: who? >> is you. you're trying to treat the baby to be mean.
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i'm trying to tell you to be nice to the baby. do you know what i mean? do you know what i am talking about? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think we just have philosophical differences about how to raise a child. which is okay. it's okay. well, thanks for your time. and i'm going to -- you know, i'm going to think about the stuff that you said to me. okay? and i'm going to ignore it, but i'm going to think about it. [ laughter ] all right? thanks a lot. your shoe is in the street. >> liar. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't worry. he found his shoe. and we hired him as our nanny. thanks, vere. tonight on the show todd glass is here. we have music from ok go. and we'll be right back with john stamos. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ]
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so what ya got on deck? skyfall. lean in, then some pinterest, you? twitter. minecraft and then some hunger games. boom. wow, you guys are all set, huh? oh yeah, new amazon fire phone. it comes with amazon prime - tons of cool stuff for no extra charge. really? it comes with amazon prime?
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yeah, there's so much to watch. i've been on this earth nine years, i've never seen anything like it. the new amazon fire phone, with a full year of prime included. exclusively on at&t.
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have you seen tom corbett's ads attacking me... get real. it's tom corbett who's been sticking it to the middle class on taxes. corbett cut a billion dollars from education... ...now almost 80% of school districts plan to raise property taxes. meanwhile, we're the only state that doesn't charge oil and gas companies an extraction tax.e. rtiblel ]u brreg whth , you le h.a e? w.y an onlyci? ye t d. your ' f hi.i'd kndeuse ]head
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