tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 29, 2014 11:40pm-12:43am EDT
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game of the week. here are choices, of course for next friday game of the week abington versus plymouth whitemarsh or upper darby. go on 6abc.com/huddle you have until friday too much makey choice. we're back for another season of "high school huddle" presented by 6abc. "high school huddle" presented by 6abc. i'm jeff skversky, good from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" [ cheers and applause ] tonight -- kathy griffin. from "ray donovan," vinessa shaw. "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from sharon van etten. with cleto and the cletones. and now, all of a sudden, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
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hi, everyone. that's very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for spending time with me. oh, i appreciate that. [ cheers and applause ] and want to wish you a happy labor day weekend. it's here. monday is labor day. the day on which we honor american workers for the countless hours they spend checking facebook and shopping online, when they're supposed to be working. you know, that if you go in to labor on labor day, you get the next baby free. [ laughter ] part of obamacare, i guess. for those of you who are going to barbecuen labor day, i happen to be handy on a grill myself. your grill has to be clean. and the way to do that, you don't need oven cleaner. turn the heat all the way up. blast it for about 20 minutes. all of the old food and debris
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turns to ash, use a wire brush to scrub it off. and then, order a pizza so you never have to clean it again. [ laughter ] you're welcome. i think labor day is the best holiday because there's no good reason for it. we're not celebrating anything. we take a day off to celebrate having the day off. [ laughter ] i think our founding fathers could be quite pleased with that. earlier this week, hurricane cristobal was threatening to ruin labor day weekend for people on the east coast. but the threat is over. cristobal has been downgraded. i think they downgraded it to a wet sneeze. not sure why they bother to name the hurricanes. the first two hurricanes were named arthur and bertha. both of which bland compared to cristobal. [ laughter ] unfortunately for our nation's newscasters, many were far too white to pronounce this one.
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>> cristobal. >> cristobal. >> cristobal. >> cristobal. >> cristobal. >> hurricane cristobal. >> cristobal. >> cristobal. >> that's cristobal. >> cristobal. >> kracristobal. >> cristobal. >> crystal ball? >> cristobal. >> christopher cross. >> kris kristofferson. >> chris jenner. >> crimea. >> billy crystal. >> crystal meth. >> crystal -- >> cristobal. >> i couldn't say it. cristobal. yeah. there it is. >> jimmy: well, we may never know how to pronounce it. but that's okay. this is interesting. labor day weekend is not traditionally a big television-watching weekend. people don't watch much tv when they travel. and a lot of people travel. in an effort to entice more viewers to animal planet,
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they're going to stream live animal births all this weekend from the nebraska state fair. if you've ever wanted to see a sheep get an epidural, this is the weekend. [ laughter ] they plan to show pigs, cows and chickens giving birth. basically, all of the adorable creatures we will be slathering in barbecue sauce will be represented. according to the website, we're bringing you the cutest, messiest, most rewarding birthing animal moment. i would have left messiest out of that. it is refreshing to see someone givi giving birth that isn't kourtney kardashian, right? not only is animal planet planning a special, nickelodeon has something similar, too. >> my water broke. >> you are 12 centimeters dilated. just push.
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>> oh, twins. >> oh. >> stop pushing. stop pushing. >> here comes some more. >> put them in the incubator. >> stop. >> hey. yeah. >> jimmy: the best part of giving birth to a sponge, you don't have to clean up afterwards. [ laughter ] if you're looking for a job this labor day, this is interesting. there's a mall in northern california, the westhill valleyfair mall. it's located on the border of two cities. one side of the mall is in santa clara. the other side is in san jose. two years ago, the city of san jose voted to raise their minimum wage, from $8 an hour, to $10.15 an hour. and santa clara did not. their employees make $9 an hour. this mall has different minimum wages depending on which side of it you work on. if your dippin' dots kiosk is on the san jose side, you make
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$1.15 less than the guy. an owner of the shoe store said he lost all of his employees. they went to work at stores on the other side. now, he's having trouble finding anybody that wants to work at his store. isn't that strange? sounds like they need the referees from foot locker to step in before things get out of hand. [ laughter ] somewhere deep in the nevada desert, right now, the burning man festival is under way. burning man, in case you don't know -- [ cheers and applause ] an annual festival in the black rocks desert. it's devoted to art, culture -- they worship winnebagos, you can see there. a lot of dehydrated white people dub-stepping on acid. in other countries, they call that war. if you've never been to burning man, from what i've gathered, it's a postapocalyptic trailer park. they say it's a great place to get chlamydia from a woman
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wearing deer antlers. it was supposed to open on monday. they but it was halted by rain. but it's going to break the record for disappointed parents looking at their children's instagram account. remember the band lmfao? well, they'll be happy to hear that. they had a big hit song called "party rock." and one of the guys in the band, his name is redd fu. he was at a nightclub in sidney. >> this morning, reddfu relived the attack, that nearly cost him an eye. >> i'm talking to some girls right here and -- boom. i feel, you know -- good lord. you know what i mean? >> redd fu escaped determine innocent injuries by centimet
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centimeters. he's calling for a ban on glass in pubs. >> i just have an issue with glasses. >> jimmy: we can see that. i know he has a long way to go. still feel like i should endorse it. there's a new health craze sweeping the nation. guillermo, you want to guess what it is, the new health craze? >> guillermo: i don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know. any guess? you're always looking to lose weight and on a diet, right? >> guillermo: no idea. >> jimmy: no idea. people are eating clay. that's right. we have officially graduated from kale to clay. [ laughter ] a lot of people are doing it because they believe clay helps detoxify the body. but even more are doing it because they believe it helps them lose weight. we will do anything to avoid exercise. yeah, i could go for a run. but instead, i think i'll just eat this vase my daughter made. [ laughter ] at summer camp. [ laughter ] but clay, allegedly, has a number of health benefits.
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the ancient greeks and romans believed clay helped boost the immune system. their life expectancy was like 26 years old. gandhi apparently ate clay. and so do many actors. they are eating and drinking clay. you see, stars really are just like us. [ laughter ] is it possible this is a practical joke celebrities are pulling to see what they can get people to do? okay. good. they're eating clay. now, let's try to get them to start sleeping with pizza on their faces. [ laughter ] but businesses are taking note of this clay phenomenon now. juice generation, one of the juice chains, is planning to market a one-ounce shot of clay starting next month. it comes in a glass battle. it sells for $3.95. and you drink it. and another company is trying to market it to kids. >> hey, kids. want a great snack that's fun to play with, too? >> yeah. >> introducing doh-gurt, the
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first snackible clay. >> it tastes like play-doh. >> that's because it is. doh-gurt is 99% play-doh. in a rockin', squeezey can. >> why would you do that? >> who is salma hayek? >> she's a doctor. >> my mom says you're not supposed to eat play-doh. >> your mom's a loser. say it with me. >> my mom's a loser. >> i know. doh-gurt, it's definitely food. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i will say this. i do not -- i don't eat any yogurt unless john stamos tells me to. he's my yoguru is what he is. one more thing, another week has come to a close, which means it is time for our weekly contribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary
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censorship." >> it's nice to have football back. fast-paced action. and big [ bleep ]. >> it's all great and everything. but it's a lot of [ bleep ] pressure. can you swear on your show? >> and [ bleep ] all of you. i mean that. good night. >> i got my [ bleep ] a couple of times a day. >> and my brother grabbed barack's [ bleep ] and said it's okay. >> a big, wet [ bleep ]. >> he took his pinkie and put it in aaron paul's [ bleep ]. yeah. >> you know what they say about a scotsman and underneath the kilt. >> don't -- >> whoa, look. whoa. >> hey, it was a great day to [ bleep ]. >> yes. any day is. >> my daughter has been asking me about it. and she wants to know who is the best [ bleep ] in the world. [ laughter ] >> [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ].
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>> happy birthday, [ bleep ]. >> have you ever [ bleep ] anybody famous in your cab? >> yeah. spike lee twice. >> looking for something fun to do this weekend. the [ bleep ] festival the place to be. >> did you [ bleep ] big foot? [ laughter ] >> he's so cool. >> well, you [ bleep ] my cousin. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, we have music from sharon van etten. from "ray donovan," vinessa shaw is here. and we'll be right back with kathy griffin. so, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] mmm! mmm! is that ice cream? no, it's, uh breyers gelato indulgences. it looks like ice cream. it's not. can i have some? you really wouldn't like it.
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we have a great lineup of guests including gwyneth paltrow, eva longoria, canada's beloved trailer park boys will be here with us. plus, two terrys, terry crews and terry bradshaw, plus music from wiz khalifa, shawn mendes, hunter hayes, and the kooks will be here, too. so hopefully, this three-day weekend will be over soon. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is as a very funny emmy and grammy award-winning person with a new album. and it's called "look at my butt crack." [ laughter ] that's really -- wasn't that the title of barbara bush's autobiography? anyway, it's available now on itunes, and you can see her live october 24th and 25th, in greenville and colombia, south carolina. please say hello to kathy griffin. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
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kathy. how are you doing? >> i am so excited to not be jennifer aniston. look -- >> jimmy: what? >> you with the big stars. i knew when you were doing the sports at krok. and now, it's aniston this and oprah this. i'm on to you, mister. mr. high and mighty. >> jimmy: i would be friends with you, too. >> when are we doing the "suddenly susan" reunion, with the "suddenly susan" with brooke shields. >> jimmy: isn't it true that brooke shields won't speak to you anymore? >> yes. >> jimmy: if brooke wants to come we'll do a "suddenly susan" reunion. >> i have never been in a classier point of my career. >> jimmy: by the title of your album. >> i have a comedy album.
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>> jimmy: we made this. so, i had something to show everybody. it's a download. it's a digital download, right? >> i don't know what you and your britney spears posse -- it's something -- it used to be a cd. and now, i guess it's a download. i saw katy perry at the vmas that her single is going live. i guess my ass crack is going live. okay? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, has -- has your brother seen this? and what does she think of it? >> like brooke shields, my brother is not speaking to me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> let me tell you about the game that your beloved 94-year-old maggie griffin is playing. first, she is halfway through a box of wine as we speak. don't encourage that. i feel you think it is cute. >> jimmy: it is cute. >> really? >> jimmy: at 94 she can drink as many boxes of wine as she wants, i think. >> she can make a manhattan in under 30 seconds.
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>> jimmy: really? >> oh. [ applause ] >> jimmy: not like she's driving, right? >> she is only driving me crazy. she's not actually driving. but she's very shocked at my cd/album/download/going live, forever cover. at the same time, she's hammered all day. i went to her freaking retirement village yesterday. if you've been to one of these retirement villages, it's a very like prison, gang girl mentality. these 94-year-olds will shake you in the elevator and ask questions later. i think my mom is in, like, a mean girl paosse. and she's like the shannen doherty. it's like a "heathers" basically. she disapproved of that very much. and we were having a nice meal, enjoying each other's company, or so i thought. and then, she said, you know, i never said this to you, kathleen. and i thought, this is it. she's going to say i'm so proud of you. what you've accomplished.
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the way you've been able to help me. and then, she said, i've always wanted to be called deidre. [ laughter ] so -- i'm sitting there, she's in the retirement village. the other bitches are at the door like, get out here. we're going to a luau. she was putting on a grass skirt and a flower, going to the luau on the roof of her retirement village. and she kept saying, my new name is deidre. i'm going to a luau. and you have to go because we're having fire dancers. i don't know how hard you think you guys party. but 94-year-old deidre is on a rooftop dancing with fire dancers. and i said, do you think they're documented workers? and she said, i don't give a crap. [ laughter ] so, i'm the a-hole? i don't see -- i don't know what's happened. >> jimmy: wow. >> you know she's not going to
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be in favor of the ice bucket challenge. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> even though her beloved, suze orman, challenged me, like many other hollywood d-bags. i'm sorry. obviously, a.l.s. is a great cause. but enough with the celebrities. in one day i had a backstreet boy, aubrey plaza from "parks and recreation," photographer, tyler shields that did that awesome nudey/naughty picture and suze orman, financial wizard, all challenged me to the ice bucket challenge. >> jimmy: it's crazy. you do it and people keep challenging you. it would be nice if they paid attention to see that i've already done it. >> no. they're very demanding people with the challenge. i didn't know about the 24-hour window. >> jimmy: yeah. >> when i was challenged, i was working in new york. i didn't just like crash a hotel room like you do, when you go on the road. you and oprah and aniston.
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>> jimmy: me and deirdre. >> with your fire dancers. i love that you're asking my 94-year-old alcoholic mother a logical question. >> jimmy: did you ask her? >> of course, i asked her. she says none of your damn business. when they're 94, you can't beat them. you know what i mean? i mean, you can't -- the "dateline" camera -- times have changed. you can't beat your parents anymore. i miss it. >> jimmy: i derailed you from your ranting. you were ranting against helping a.l.s. >> well, of course -- [ laughter ] by the way, that's a great quote. that's a different show. that's to rant against helping the a.l.s. i'm just saying that, of course, you want to have maybe a unique hook if you're going to do the challenge. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i thought it was ironic that suze orman of all people, she did it on twitter. she was in the caribbean where it's nice and warm as bath water anyway. and she randomly challenged me to do it naked.
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i called your team of professionals. >> jimmy: yes. >> and, boy, they jumped at it. they have nobody from any kind of legal department said, miss griffin, this isn't appropriate. i believe i said i would be using "full bush." um -- >> jimmy: i believe you did, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i believe you did say that. >> yeah. and then, i was assured by one of your producers, it would be very discreet. and maybe one camera person would come over that would sign all kinds of documents that would be private. the doorbell rings. there's 15 people of your crew. half of them going to your football party. and they have kraft service with them and snacks and waters. like, two cameras. >> jimmy: yeah. >> a lot of guys with hairy chests saying, where's the bathroom? >> jimmy: wouldn't you be offended if a whole bunch of people didn't show up after you
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announced you're going to be driving naked into a bucket of water. when we come back, we're going to show the fruits of your labor. >> and my fruits. >> jimmy: and your fruits, as well. it will all be on display. kathy griffin is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ds-maker? i'm gonna need more than that to get through the rest of these dishes. i want more suds! dawn? you won't last. a drop of dawn ultra has active suds that stay stronger longer, so you can clean 2 times more greasy dishes to get the job done. you're full of suds after all. now drop and give me twenty spaghetti bowls! dawn does more. so it's not a chore. geicmoney for over 75 years.save they've really stood the test of time. much like these majestic rocky mountains. which must be named after the... that would be rocky the flying squirrel, mr. gecko sir. obviously! ahh come on bullwinkle, they're named after...
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with kathy griffin. still talking about her mom. hopefully her mom is not watching right now. this is her new -- it's on itunes. >> i don't know what you call it. just buy it. >> jimmy: what britney spears and i call it. it's called "look at my butt crack." i hope you get nominated for a grammy for this one. >> i'm the current winner for best comedy album.
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i finally won after six years in a row being nominated. [ cheers and applause ] i'm hoping this gets nominated. i'm going to be honest. we've been talking about my mom, newly named deidre. and you were saying that normally girls change their names at what age? >> jimmy: like 11 or 12. and they go, i wish my name was -- >> not at 94 when they're drunk? >> jimmy: not usually, no. >> i'm going to be honest. we've been talking about my mom a lot and she's not watching. she thinks the show is on way too late. >> jimmy: well. that makes sense. >> she was wondering if you can do the show about 3:15. [ laughter ] somewhere around "judge judy." >> jimmy: have to get her a dvr. do you take her out of the house? >> are you kidding? napa valley and wineries. anywhere there's booze, deidre will get on her hurricane. she lives in a retirement village that's awesome. they have alert buttons on the wall near the rug, when she
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passes out -- i mean falls. when she falls. i swear to god. there's one woman who lives in her building, she's about 50. she must have slipped them like an extra 20 bucks. it's a great place to live. first of all, i can't wait to be incontinent. that's going to be -- it's going to be fun and easy. my mom's retirement village, they do everything for her. it's like three hots and a cot. it's a really cool prison. they feed her. there's a lot of activities. i do take her out. i've actually taken her to concerts and award shows. and i'm just going to say, at 94 years old, maybe not always the most appropriate things come out of her mouth, which is why it's ridiculous that i offend her. so, this is just going to sound funny. but recently, she had the chance to meet my friends t.i. and asap rocky. and she called them both nat king cole. >> jimmy: wait a minute. i can see maybe one.
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but how can they both be nat king cole? >> because she's 94 and drunk, jimmy. that's why. and i was so freaked out. i was apologizing to t.i. and asap. and he was at my house. and his hype man was there. they were smoking weed. that's a different story. but anyway -- my mom's like, i just love you, mr. king cole. his name is asap. that's an abbreviation. and i -- [ laughter ] i thought the guys would be upset with her. they were like, oh, maggie. they thought she was adorable by calling them -- >> jimmy: that's marijuana for you. [ laughter ] >> inappropriate. inappropriate. >> jimmy: all right. let's -- your video. we got your video. >> yeah. >> jimmy: recap again. who challenged you. >> first of all, financial guru and friend suze orman challenged me to do it naked. and i swear the same day, aubrey plaza, a.j. mcclain, margaret cho, all in one day.
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i didn't know how to handle it. i thought i should take it up a notch. >> jimmy: and you certainly did. >> okay, suze orman, i decided to take you up on the a.l.s. ice bucket challenge and do it naked. i don't really know why you wanted me to be naked for this. but anything for the cause. and i'm going to keep my shoes on. i'm sorry. but i'm a classy lady. i'm going to keep my shoes on. okay. i'm naked. i also invited two friends who also challenged me, from the backstreet boys, a.j. mcclain. >> hello, beautiful. >> hi. >> from "parks and recreation," aubrey plaza. >> what's up? >> you ultranominated me. go ahead and do it. >> one, two, three. >> oh. oh. what are you doing that for? oh. i did it. you know what? now, i issue a challenge to a.j.
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mcclain for the kathy griffin pool challenge. yeah. got him. stamp out a.l.s. [ bleep ] you a.l.s. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was great. and to aubrey. and kathy griffin, everybody. look for her album. it's called "look at my butt crack" on itunes. can see kathy griffin live october 24th in greenville, south carolina, and october 25th in columbia, south carolina. thank you, kathy. we'll be right back. the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. ck? skyfall. lean in, then some pinterest, you? twitter. minecraft and then some hunger games. boom. wow, you guys are all set, huh? oh yeah, new amazon fire phone. it comes with amazon prime - tons of cool stuff for no extra charge. really? it comes with amazon prime? yeah, there's so much to watch. i've been on this earth nine years, i've never seen anything like it. the new amazon fire phone, with a full year of prime included. exclusively on at&t.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. vinessa shaw and music from sharon van etten are on the way. also on the way, a top-secret new product from apple. yesterday, apple released an invitation for an event, at which they are expected to unveil the iphone 6, and possibly even their first-ever smartwatch. of course, they're being very hush-hush about it all. and this is the invitation. i find this invitation a little creepy. "wish we could say more." then do it, you know? apple is reportedly working on the largest ipad ever. it's rumored to be 12.9 inches across. that's about three inches bigger than the current ipad.
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everyone is always clamoring for the latest apple device so we thought we'd conduct a little experiment. we sent a camera crew on to hollywood boulevard to show people the new ipad and get their thoughts. of course, it's not out yet. and it might not ever even come out. we went to the apple store. bought one of those 27-inch computer monitors and told people it was the new ipad. and the results speak for themselves. >> have you heard that apple just announced the new ipad maxie today? >> yes, ma'am. >> we have a prototype and asking people what they think about it, if you want to take a look. >> it's nice. it's pretty nice. >> is this something you could see yourself purchasing? >> yes, ma'am. it's pretty awesome. that's nice. nice size. average build. it's good. >> is there something you could see yourself using, purchasing? >> no. >> why not? >> it's too big. it's way too big. >> too big. >> it only weighs like 25
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pounds. >> it's hurting my hand. >> okay. >> they have a smaller one. the between, it's like two inches smaller. >> i might get that one. >> yeah? >> i might get that one instead. >> what would you use it for specifically? >> gaming. i'm a college student. i might use it for class and stuff like that. >> so, you would take it to class and take notes with it? >> yes, ma'am. >> you would? >> is this something you would use? >> of course not. >> why not? >> well, it's not handy. you really need to carry it like this? or -- >> why do you have to be so german about stuff? [ laughter ] why do you have to always be so german about stuff? >> i don't know. because i am german, maybe. >> do you imagine yourself taking selfies with this? >> yes, ma'am. facebook, instagram. i like that. >> show us how that would look. >> i would make a big smile. stuff like this. and -- >> would you use that picture
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for your tinder profile? >> yes, ma'am. >> yes. do you say yes to everything? >> no. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back with vinessa shaw. [ cheers and applause ] you wouldn't do half of your daily routine. so why treat your mouth any differently. brushing alone does less than half the job leaving behind millions of germs. complete the job with listerine®. kill up to 99 percent of germs. and prevent plaque, early gum disease and bad breath. complete the job with listerine®. power to your mouth™. also try listerine® floss. its advanced technology removes more plaque.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, welcome back. our next guest is one of the rare former child actors who didn't wind up in jail or on a reality show. she stars with liev schreiber on the critically-acclaimed "ray donovan." you can watch it sunday nights on showtime. please welcome, vinessa shaw. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] hello, vinessa. i would imagine that you go through your life with people misspelling your name constantly. because your name is v-i-n-e-s-s-a. >> yes, my parents wanted to name their kids after their fathers. and unfortunately, they had girls. so, they had to be creative. and my name is vinessa, after my grandfather, vincent.
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and my sister is named natalie, after my grandfather, nathan. anyway, california parents, sorry. >> jimmy: what part of california are you from? >> i'm from topanga canyon. >> jimmy: for those who don't live in l.a., topanga canyon is -- would you call it a hippie community there? >> yes. very hippie. people are known to have trailers on their properties. yeah. >> jimmy: i feel like they're making a resurgence lately. >> i think i want one back. >> jimmy: i want to put a yurt in my yard. i would never go into it. but it's a great word. >> it is a great word. >> jimmy: explain what a yurt is for those who don't know what a yurt is. >> yurt is like a tepee, i guess. but it's more durable. and you have windows. and you can live in there. >> jimmy: and there's a hole in
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the top, right? >> and people go glamping in yurts. >> jimmy: people do go glamping in yurts. >> it's glamorous camping. >> jimmy: you grew up not in a yurt. in a home. >> i grew up in a house in topanga canyon. still old. >> jimmy: were your parents, like, bohemian-types? >> well, not necessarily bohemian. my mother was an actress. my dad is a surfer/psychologist. [ laughter ] we were buddhists. >> jimmy: really? wow. were you really buddhists or just, you know, l.a. buddhists. >> really buddhists. practicing. we did it every morning and evening. still do. >> jimmy: don't get offended. i'm asking. i thought buddhists were a lot more relaxed than this. buddhists, i'll kill you. [ laughter ] surf/psychologist, huh? >> surfer/psychologist.
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>> jimmy: not at the same time, though? >> no. but he would see clients in his winnebago before going off to surf. >> jimmy: do you go back to your old neighborhood there in topanga canyon? >> i do. and it hasn't changed very much. people are unique with their properties and how they live. an i was actually at a party recently. and this woman was, like, oh, my gosh. i just went to look at a place in topanga. what kind of place was it? and she said, a pool. and i said, a pool house? no. a pool. someone was renting out their pool to live in. [ laughter ] they put, like, some sort of a tent over the top. >> jimmy: what? >> you would enter -- i'm not kidding. you would enter through the shallow end. and then, by the deep end, you could be more comfortable and have a living space. >> jimmy: they drained the pool, i guess, then? >> yes. not floating, swimming in the pool.
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to go to sleep. yeah. so, then, i guess she said, well, where's the bathroom? and the landlord said, you don't need a bathroom. look at the view. topanga's very beautiful. the view is beautiful. but you can't pee. >> jimmy: it seems as one area of l.a. there are no laws. i mean, everywhere else, everything is so heavily regulated. but in topanga, people live in their pools. >> yes, they do. and so, you know, i was very impressed with her story. >> jimmy: you started acting when you were a kid professionally. an you did this movie with rodney dangerfield, "lady bugs." >> my very first movie. >> jimmy: did you audition with rodney? is that how it worked? >> well, actually, i didn't audition with rodney. but we met later on. he wanted to meet these kids. i want to know what they're like. he lived in a hotel, for those of you who don't know. he didn't live in a house. we went to his hotel.
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>> jimmy: he lived in a pool at a hotel. >> perhaps. >> jimmy: how old are you at this point? >> i'm 15. i had some work behind me. but 15. and we go to his hotel room, jonathan brandisthe co-star and i, and our parents, my mother and his mother. we sit down and have a wonderful conversation with rodney dangerfield. people who know rodney, he has one outfit. with a robe. >> jimmy: i witnessed that myself. >> you did? oh, my god, you did? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know what i'm going to say. >> jimmy: oh. yeah. really? >> yes. >> jimmy: even at that age? >> even at that age. >> jimmy: explain because nobody else knows. >> no one else knows our interesting experience. >> jimmy: rodney was not that concerned with keeping his robe closed. >> no. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: and i don't think he did it in any kind of a perverted way. he just was completely unaware. >> oblivious. >> jimmy: you're sitting there with him. >> yes. >> jimmy: and everything's there? and what does your mother say to this? >> well, i'm sitting there. and my mother is on -- we're sitting in front of rodney. so, you know, he's having a conversation with us. >> jimmy: never sit in front of rodney. that's the problem. >> my mother and his mother on the other side, jonathan's mother and my mother, on the other side of us. we're sitting there talking to him. and slowly, it's like -- you know -- i'm not going to do it. i don't want to have the same experience. he's just flipping his legs back and worth. and i'm like this. my eyes are wide-open. and i'm just like, yes, trying to listen. and i'm jabbing jonathan. look what's happening. and he's still o blifs you,
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rodney. i'm in front of rodney, just experiencing all -- him in all his glory. or not thereby. i was blushing red. and my mom was looking at me quizzically like, what is going on with her? and just checking in with his mother. by the end, everything was okay. we made it through. and outside the hotel room, we were like, mom, oh, my god. listen to what happened. that was what was going on between you -- >> jimmy: that's when you take your kids and move to, like, nebraska, i think. >> yeah. my mother was not wise. got me in this creepy business. >> jimmy: it's worked out for you. the show is called "ray donovan." it's a great show. sunday nights at 9:00 on showtime. when we return, music from sharon van etten. [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world.
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to prove a point about internet speeds, we slowed down an up escalator this is crazy like i don't get it, this one is working ladies, shouldn't up be as fast as down? yeah. shouldn't internet speeds match as well? yes. do your socks match? my socks match. do your eyeballs match? yes. cable does not match the speeds. makes you want to go mad. erggggh. only verizon fios comes with speed match. upload speeds as fast as your download speeds. join now at fiosspeedmatch.com. verizon. oh yeah. about your dream car? [sheepishly] yeah. black with red stripes. cool! [curiously] how'd you know? you've been staring at that new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. yep. "muscle car money."
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i could win up to $100,000, or a dodge challenger rt classic. (announcer) wanna see your dreams come to life? you could scratch your way to instant winning today. fuzzy dice. nice. [announcer] the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life. the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank
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kathy griffin, vinessa shaw. and i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, her l.p. is called, "are we there." here with the song "tarifa," sharon van etten. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hit the ground the yard i found something ♪ ♪ i could taste your mouth shut the door ♪ ♪ now in the sun tanning you were so just ♪ ♪ looking across the sky
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this is "nightline" -- >> tonight, lunchtime lift. talk about a quick fix. you walk in like this. 25 minutes and $2,500 later, you come out looking like this. it only lasts 24 hours. but some consequences could be permanent. why women are opting for a short-term confidence boost. and what doctors say about the risk. race against time. right now, there's a catastrophic water shortage throughout the
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