tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 8, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- lena dunham. ben schwartz. and music from misterwives. with cleto and the cletones. and now, headed this way, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you all for coming. that's very nice. your enthusiasm does not go unappreciat
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unappreciated. i had a good weekend. i watched a lot of football this weekend. a lot. at certain point, it occurred to me as i sat there like a lump, when you add it all up and boil it all down, i spent somewhere in the neighborhood of 14 hours on the couch watchi ing other people exercise. how much did i exercise this weekend? not one second. i'm even thinking about hiring someone to carry me back and forth from the refrigerator to the tv set. this weekend, there were dozens of football games and thousands of car commercials starring matthew mcconaughey. did you see those? matthew mcconaughey, driving around in a lincoln, talking to himself. is it possible he got high and thought he was doing season two of "true detective" alone this time? it was quite an opening weekend. tony romo was handing out interceptions like the bachelor hands out roses. i'm trying something new. this season, i think i'm going to binge watch all the games at the end of the year. i think it could be a real time saver, you know?
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this happened during the pittsburgh/cleveland game. antonio brown returned a punt in the second quarter. as you'll see here, he toot the foot part of football a little too literally. >> they got pressure and gets it off cleanly. brown back pedals. brown, with special teamers and now brown is off to the races. and a flag is thrown. a cleat to the face of spencer lanning, right there. >> jimmy: he claims he didn't mean any harm. said he was trying to jump over the guy. he got a 15-yard penalty for unnecessary roughness and brought great dishonor to his dojo. is it me or did antonio brown steal that move from a video game? roll that back again. and let's see here. this -- ♪ is a little bit like "super mario brothers," right? yeah.
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and now he's off to rescue princess toadstool. the punter spencer lanning tweeted this after the game. this is it. he said, "wait, wait, wait, when did this happen?" so, at least they are having -- it's a fun-cussion, is what it is. [ cheers and applause ] this is funny, too. this is from the university of pittsburgh, they played boston college on friday and take a good look at the kicker's name. >> pitt's going to try a long field goal. it will be a 39-yard attempt for chris bu wilewitt, who is a goo kicker. hooking it back through and it is good! >> jimmy: yeah, that's his -- their kicker is chris blewitt. and his middle name is totally, which makes it even worse. and if you think blewitt is a bad last name. you should see the kid who kicks for georgia tech. >> an opportunity after the long drive. it going to be a 34-yard attempt
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and he pulled it. it's a missed field goal attempt for both sides. >> jimmy: his name is kicky mccrapo. it's pronounced mc-crepe-po but people get it wrong. there's a new royal baby on the way. prince william and his bride kate middleton are expecting. this, of course, will be their second child. they are giving this one to pippa. i guess she babysits and stuff. the announcement was made this morning by the office of british royal officials and was confirmed by maher rye pury pov. british tabloids already have reporters imbedded in kate middleton's uterus. the baby will be fourth in line to the throne. you know, they named their first baby george. he's third in line. i think they should name this one joffrey.
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anyway. it's pretty exciting. pretty soon there will be two babies in the world with the power to behead us. meanwhile, back here in the good old us of a, congress is back in session. congress is back after a five-week summer vacation. did you notice they were gone? john boehner said their first order of business is to pass a short-term funding bill in order to keep the government running and avoid another embarrassing showdown -- shutdown. in other words, our government is hoping to avoid a government shutdown. it's about the lowest goal you can set for yourself, isn't it? that's like going to work at a new job and saying, i hope i work at this new job. [ laughter ] here in california -- [ cheers and applause ] oh, thank you. is that for the joke? our former governor one arnold p. schwarzenegger returned to sacramento today, to destroy it. he was at the state capital. they unveiled his official
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portrait. they do this for all the governors, even the ones who were in "the expendables." and i have to say, the artist did a really good job. those are his sons, schwarzenegger's sons. and you can see -- well, you know what? he always said he'd be back and sure enough, there he was. i don't want to spoil the mood tonight, but earlier this evening, here on abc, we said good-bye to the first season of "bachelor in paradise." i know. "bachelor in paradise" was evidence that we have failed as a society. on the off-chance you missed it, the show gave former bachelor and bachelorette contestants a second chance to find their soul mates, which -- wasn't as easy as it sounds because only two of them wound up having souls, so -- [ laughter ] but when it was all said and done, it added a beautiful ending, marcus and lacy got engaged on the beach. i don't know who marcus and lady
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are, but i think i'm going to cry. here's something for parents. i have a 2-month-old daughter at home and i feel like i'm part of a world that i did not know existed. there's so much baby stuff. there are so many tools and -- did you know they make these puffy disposable napkin-like shorts for babies to poop in. when they're full, you throw them away. this might be the most insane thing of all. there's a spa in houston, texas, called float baby, where they offer hydrotherapy sessions and full body massage for babies. [ laughter ] how is that -- babies don't even have full bodies to massage. can you imagine a baby with a mud mask and tiny little cucumbers on its eyes? and it's not cheap. the classes run from $65 to $125. paying $125 to get your baby hyd hydrotherapy is a good way to make sure they're going to grow up to need psycho therapy.
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you can hucan choose from group one-on-one sessions. or you can just let them play with the tag on your sweatpants for free, but -- we, my wife and i give our baby hydrotherapy every night. we call it a bath. if you think the idea of a spa for babies sounds bad, wait until you see this ad for this business we made up. ♪ >> elegant. atmosphere. relaxation. introducing baby bar. the bar and lounge exclusively for babies who want to kick back, relax and enjoy an extensive menu of fine wines and signature cocktails. who wants to get wasted? must be under 21 months to enter. bottle service available. your baby will be taken by social services upon entry. no binningies. baby bar. because you're a terrible
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parent. >> jimmy: no binkies. one more thing. i think -- anyone that knows me knows that one of my primary paxes in life is driving my aunt chippy crazy. since i was a kid, my cousin sal and i, we pulled so many pranks on her. at this point, i'm worried she will catch on, so now we try to target her in places she'd never suspect. so, my aunt chippy lives in las vegas. she goes to a ceramics class down the block from her house. they paint plates and they talk, and she loves it. which is why i decided to inf l infiltrate and ruin it. we enlisted an actor named gene, we told him to pose as a new member of the class. there are all women in the class except for gene. we had cousin sal instructing him behind the scenes. and here's what happened when my aunt chip pip does er ceramics h a crazy person.
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>> okay. chip chippy's here. everybody roll, please. going to be good. >> listen, ladies, we have a new student. it's a guy. >> uh-oh. >> get out of here! >> try to be nice to him, because he's somebody's uncle -- he's just a little hard to get along with is what they told me. >> oh, no. and he's coming here? >> yes. >> we'll beat the [ bleep ] out of him. >> chippy, you got to be nice. >> we're sending gene in. >> use either concepts or easy stroke. hello? >> good morning. >> i'm sandy, i'm the instructor. >> i'm gene prescott iii. >> i'm gene prescott iii. >> okay, tres. >> we have a good time in this class. everybody is happy, everybody's in a good mood.
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so, enjoy. >> good for you. >> okay. >> he's going to make something for his grandchild. how about an elephant. will that work for you? >> look, i'm making a platter for my son-in-law. isn't that nice? >> does m stand for mediocre? >> m for mediocre? >> hey! you got to be very nice in this place because we're very fussy about who we have here. everybody likes to laugh. >> you don't seem to realize my nephew, who he is, he's a county commissioner. >> good for you. i don't care. >> hey, can you do me a favor? tell that woman over there that i don't care for obama. >> she really don't give a [ bleep ] whether you care or you don't care. >> i'm not talking to you. >> i don't discuss politics or religion here. >> did you mention that my nephew's a county commissioner? >> who cares?
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i think we need a song. >> okay. time to sing, rosie. here we go. >> oh, for god sakes. no singing. >> hey! we ask her to sing a sold every monday and we're going to hear the song. >> not this monday. >> show your manners. ♪ very nice. you're going to have to learn some manners. >> you smell like smoke. are you smoking? >> let me ask you something. those fingers smell like smoke. do you smoke? >> yeah, you want me to blow some up your ass? enough of you already. >> hey, let me tell you something, lady. smoking's a sign of emotional immaturity. >> your personality needs a cigarette and maybe a drink, too.
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don't worry about me. worry about yourself. you're nasty, you're rude and you have no friends. >> imagine having to live with that. >> yeah. 35 years with me. he was happy. he died happy. >> suicide? >> ah, suicide? >> murder. i killed him. >> you're killing me right now. >> good. >> you want to pull your sardines out? pull out your sardines. >> you ain't going to eat that [ bleep ] now, are you? it ain't lunchtime. >> let me give you a sardine. here. >> no, thank you. >> here, have a sardine. >> no thanks. >> just put a sardine on her plate.
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>> top playing hard to get. >> you're welcome. >> you're welcome. >> that is rude. very rude. don't do that again. >> she don't realize my name's gene prescott iii. >> i'm going to throw your ass out of here in a minute. i am going to throw your ass out of here if you don't act like a gentleman and behave yourself. do you hear me? >> i can't hear you, i'm a little deaf. >> i'm going to make you even deafer. >> get the flask out and drink. >> margarita mix? oh, great. ah, sandy? we got a piss pot over here. all over your [ bleep ] elephant. hey! >> you know what, i'm bored with this dumb elephant. now throw it off the table behind you.
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>> i didn't see you -- >> i'm through with this elephant. >> start taking your pants off. >> no, don't take your pants off. don't take your pants off, number three. >> all right, i'm coming in, i'm coming in. >> number three, i don't give a [ bleep ] if you get pneumonia and die right here, you're not taking your pants off. >> these pants are too wet. >> uncle gene, i brought your pants. there you are. there you go. was everyone good to you. >> everybody's nice to you. >> even that one over there. >> you son of a -- you have invaded my -- my only place i thought i was safe. >> you're so mean to my uncle here. >> i'm going to -- [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, welcome bam. tonight, from the new movie "this is where i leave you," ben schwartz is here. and then, making their first appearance on national television, this is their debut ep, it's called "reflections," misterwives, from the at&t stage. you can see them on tour starting tomorrow in clifton park, new york. tomorrow night on this show, bill hader will be here, director richard linkletter will chat with us and we'll have music from jen nay i.e. coe. leelt later this month, julianne hough, dale earnhardt jr., so,
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join us all week long. our first guest tonight has earned two golden globe awards and eight emmy nominations for starring in, writing, producing and directing, lighting and catering her great hbo show "girls." please welcome the indoes tree use and delightful lena dunham! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's very good to have you here. >> i'm so excited. >> jimmy: i'm excited, too. we've talked before off television, but it's so much more rewarding to talk on television. >> yeah, like talking off television isn't talking at all. >> jimmy: why even bother. >> i would say we're friends. >> jimmy: we are friends, yes. >> good. >> jimmy: good to see you, friend. >> pleasure, sir. >> jimmy: something weird happened to you on the plane on the way here from new york, yes? >> a couple weird things
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happened on the plane. for starters, before we took off, i really needed to pee. i wedged my way forward to the forward-most bathroom and a male flight attendant walked in on me peeing. and for a second i thought it was the pilot. i was excited. [ laughter ] and then i realized what was actually going on. >> jimmy: what was actually going on? >> he shrieked like there was, like, the most -- a monster from the great beyond in the bathroom. and then i just -- i didn't know what to do, i was like, that was so much worse for you than it is for me. i had no idea how to handle it. i went back to my seat, where conveniently, i had some shake shack to eat, because i'm a monster, and i ate it. i feel asleep for, like, five hours. that's what shake shack does to a person. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's basically hard core drugs. and then i apparently unbuttoned my pants in my sleep because i got up to pee again and realized they were just, like, at -- down
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around my mid-thigh. like, if i was a man, i would have certainly been escorted off the plane. police would have been waiting for me. >> jimmy: you really dodged a bullet there. >> it was crazy. and just like nocturnal unbuttoning? >> jimmy: dangerous. >> that's bad. >> jimmy: you stated this publicly, people can unbutton your pants and, must have been you, i don't know. >> and frame mel f for it. you have such nice eyes. >> jimmy: you do, too. looking right into your eyes. you were here in l.a. two weeks ago tonight for the emmy awards, for which you were dominated again, which is great. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: you still have fun going to that show? is that a good time for you? >> i mean, it's obviously an amazing honor to be nominated and it's an incredible thing to be in that room with those people. but it's a long night. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that deprives me of the two things i'm most passionate about, which is eegt aating and
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peeing. i like to do that stuff at 20-minute intervals. this is a real sit down and shut up occasion. >> jimmy: i was able to smuggle in some giant pretzels and beer from the snack bar. >> amazing. >> jimmy: when i got to security, they said, you can't bring them in. i said, this is a prop for a bit that we're doing. [ laughter ] . >> you're a genius. >> jimmy: they believed it. i don't think they believed it. they were like, all right, go ahead. >> i had, like, three thin mints in my bag and that was all i could permit myself. >> jimmy: they should pack everybody a lunch of something like that at that thing. >> i know. >> jimmy: it's almost four hours long and you don't get to eat anything and nobody eats before hand because they are starving and trying to fit into their clothes. >> i eat beforehand. >> jimmy: you do, yeah. >> my boyfriend brought a luna bar but i wouldn't let him eat it because he's a boy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you take his luna bar from him? >> yeah, i hate the luna bar. >> jimmy: okay. >> i ate it. >> jimmy: you can break those in
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half. there's a solution to that problem. >> yeah. >> jimmy: last time you brought your parents to the emmys. >> the last two years i brought my parents. i was very happy to have my boyfriend, but my parents were a real hard act to follow. >> jimmy: in a good way or bad way? >> it's hard to say. my dad and mom and sister came with me the first year. and we kind of like divided up duties and i asked my dad -- my dad is very dapper when he wears a tuxedo. he's moving into advanced age in a very elegant fashion.pleased that. i brought him on the car pelt and he was so overwhelmed, he basically treated it like a military operation, like he was just like, we're going to get through this if it's the last thing we do. [ laughter ] and so he basically like, because he likes bryan cranston from television's "breaking bad," he just -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, everybody loves him. >> what's not to like? so, my dad just focused his
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attention on bryan cranston and when bryan cranston would move from one interviewer photo station to the next, my dad would just got "move! move!" and then all the pictures, like, he looks enraged. i look scared and sweaty. and these are the things my children can enjoy. >> jimmy: when you're at the emmys and people that knew you, kids in school, when they see you there, do you think they're watching and saying, wow, i can't believe lena is up there, or are they saying, yeah, we figured that would happen? >> i think the second one. no, the first one. i thought you meant -- i got the two of them confused. of course they didn't think that would happen. >> jimmy: they didn't? >> oh, she's the person that wore a tub te top as a skirt fo four years. she should not not been allowed to go to college. >> jimmy: you are so young. have you had your high school reunion yet? >> it happened. >> jimmy: it did happen. >> it happened. >> jimmy: did you go? >> no. well, actually, i rsvped and i
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announced on twitter i was rsvping, because nothing is real until you do it on television or twitter. >> jimmy: sure. >> i said i was going and then i found myself in a diner enjoying some rice pudding and it was just so hard to tear myself away and get myself to the reunion that time passed and soon the reunion was over. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was that stressful that you didn't want to do that, huh? >> i really didn't want to go. i just -- not that there's -- everyone's nice. there's no one i'm avoiding. i'm avoiding who i was. >> jimmy: really? >> i'm avoiding past incarnations of myself. i don't need to get in touch with, like, what occurred in the halls of high school. and i rsvped because my parents placed a lot of pressure on me. >> jimmy: oh, cranston probably rsvped to his. >> my dad was like, you don't live very far from school. it's the right thing to do. and then there i was in the diner making new friends and i couldn't -- >> jimmy: maybe in ten years
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you'll have a reunion with the friends at the diner. >> that would be my dream. >> jimmy: lina dun name ena dun. her show is called "girls." we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ altuzarra for target available september 14th. think of our new lasagna fresca. what unsuspecting foodies mmmm! so delicious. i guess fresca is the right word for it. this might be the best lasagna i've ever had.
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(vo) ours is a world of the red-eyes. (daughter) i'm really tired. (vo) the transfers. well, that's kid number three. (vo) the co-pilots. all sitting... ...trusting... ...waiting... ...for a safe arrival. introducing the all-new subaru legacy. designed to help the driver in you... ...care for the passenger in them. the subaru legacy. it's not just a sedan. it's a subaru. >> jimmy: we're back with lena dunham and we're just talking about, i know this is not your big -- your book thing but i read and excerpt from your book and it is just unbelievably great. it's so funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it reminds me of, like, woody allen's books of stories. it boggles my mind that you are able to write so well and to put
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all of this out at such a young age. it really is depressing. [ laughter ] >> thank you so much, jimmy. that makes me so happy and makes me happy to imagine you reading it. >> jimmy: you should have seen me. i with us there looking right at it like this, going back and forth. it was incredible. and i heard you are working on -- i don't know if this is true. archie comics. you are writing archie comics. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how did that happen? >> i'm pretty excited about it. i have to say, it's like one of those childhood dreams. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i have a friend, an amazing playwright and screenwriter and now comic book writer and he has become the creative director of archie and he knew about my childhood obsession and he's been doing kind of cool revolutionary things with the archie franchise. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> introducing zombies and the cast of "glee" and -- [ laughter ] and he asked if i wanted to sort
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of put my spin on it and i have to say, i love archie, but going back and reading it, i would say the value system of the about cheaps that i read as a childhood are slightly off from my own. it's like two really hot intelligent women fighting over a redhead. [ laughter ] so, i think it could use a little bit of a feminist -- >> jimmy: interesting. >> so, i'm going to try to figure out a way to be true to the world of riverdale, we are inserting some of my politics and bleaches and trying not to show breasts. >> jimmy: will it be set in the present time? >> it is. reality tv has come to riverdale. >> jimmy: oh, wow. i like that. >> it mixes a lot of my passions. >> jimmy: it would be great if betty and veronica are lesbians and didn't care at all about archie. >> there's a whole sector of the internet devoted to that. betty and veronica just going at it. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yes. >> jimmy: can i get that web
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address? >> i have to say, it was like -- i would rather walk in on my grandparents doing it than see betty and veronica. >> jimmy: really? >> it's complicated. that's a childhood symbol being perverted in this very specific way. >> jimmy: yeah. your grandparents doing it, huh? [ laughter ] >> and most of them are dead, so, it would be especially intense. >> jimmy: yes, it would. did you collect archie comics? >> oh, my god, i was obsessed. >> jimmy: i feel like i was too young for archie comics. when i read them -- it was only because there were no super heroes left. >> you -- if you made it through all the super heroes comics, you would -- >> jimmy: kcasper and richie rich. and then jughead. >> i think jughead is the hottest one. i think he's the sex symbol. >> jimmy: adam driver from "girls" would be a great muscular jughead. >> oh, he would. that's so good. that's great casting. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the hair and everything. and the crown. >> i was obsessed with archie.
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i went to archie conventions. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. there was a big one that was just archie mania. people walking around in poodle skirts and letterman jackets, trying to live the archie that never was. and i made my mom take me because i had no friends and we just walked the halls together while i, like, becked h ebeggedt me purchase a small -- >> jimmy: did your mom throw your comic books out? >> no, i have them. >> jimmy: that's very rare. >> i'm going to retire on those. [ applause ] but -- and my mom took me a really long way to see an archie illustrator. i was not expecting a nicotine-stained old man who had never seen the light of day. because i just cried the whole way home. it was truly like never meet your idol. meeting one of the original archie illustrators was one of
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>> jimmy: hi there. we have a lot more to come. this is my friend and celebrity photo hound yehya. say hello to everybody, yehya. >> hello, everybody! god bless you. i love you guys. >> jimmy: and let me just say, god bless you, yehya. >> god bless you, jimmy. >> no, god bless you. >> jimmy: god bless everyone and god bless you. >> you. >> jimmy: thank you. now, yehya and i are going to prove who we have coming up on the show this week. i will show a picture of the guest and you tell us the guest's name, okay? here we go. first up -- >> oh, morgan freeman. i love him. >> jimmy: exactly right. next up? you know who that is? >> yeah.latifah. >> jimmy: absolutely right. next up -- >> oh, that's the guy -- >> jimmy: bill hader, yes. next -- >> i don't know who that is. >> jimmy: that is from "dancing with the stars" -- >> yes. >> julianne hough.
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>> jimmy: and? >> i don't know, nascar. champion? >> jimmy: yes. dale earnhardt -- >> jr. >> jimmy: and who do we have coming up next, yehya? next on the show, the next guest on the show is -- >> oh, that's the guy, i know him. >> jimmy: yes. what is his name? >> i forget. >> jimmy: okay. ben schwartz is his name. yes. there you go. when we come back, so, come back. ♪
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>> jimmy: doing well. >> congratulations. you have this big movie. you play a rabbi. >> i play a rabbi called boner. that kills. that kills. >> jimmy: so, when you are a kid, everybody calls you boner and you grow up to be a rabbi. >> i have all the status in the universe, and this family, which is jason bateman and jane fonda, still call me boner when i'm in synagogue trying to be the man and just -- taken down to size. yeah, whatever boner. >> jimmy: it is some cast. >> it's insane. all your best friends. >> jimmy: i do know a few of those people. >> yeah, yeah. jason bateman. all people that i've looked up to so much. >> jimmy: what is it like when you hang around with all of those actors? >> it's crazy. you do a table read before a film, and everybody is around the table and then i walk in as a character named boner and you are just -- you look at them,
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you're like, oh you won a couple oscars, i looked up to you, all these huge moments and then you sit down and you're like, please don't screw this up. don't be the one that skrucrews this up. >> jimmy: still nervous? >> i get excited. once we start going, then i'm fine. the second we're doing stuff, i'm excited. >> jimmy: so, jane fonda -- is that -- is that intimidating to act with her? >> my generation knows her from many things including "barberella," where she is the most gorgeous, beautiful -- [ cheers and applause ] yes, producing and acting and so -- >> jimmy: i love her producing. >> the way she produces is unbelievable. i mean, she sits in that chair and -- really, yeah. >> jimmy: and she is in unbelievable physical condition. >> we were doing a scene and she had bent over to get something and she bent over and tina fey goes, oh, come on, look at that ass, are you kidding me?
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[ laughter ] and she's in perfect shape. and then you look at yourself, i look at myself in the mirror and i look like a startled muppet. i got to hit the treadmill or something. >> jimmy: i wonder if she gets tired of hearing people say that. because that is the first thing you think when you see her. >> those videos. >> jimmy: they worked! >> yeah, that's it. this is the after of it. >> jimmy: right. >> amazing. >> jimmy: yeah, if she'd only been able to, like, show the future, she probably would have sold ten times of those. >> a billion. >> jimmy: who is the biggest movie star you worked with in your career? >> it was a long time ago, the second movie i ever did, robert de niro was in it. >> jimmy: that is a big one. wow. he's not here. >> actually jimmy -- >> jimmy: what? >> bring him out! no, no, no, he's not here. i'm not friends with robert de niro. but we go in and it was very -- it was very early on in my career. i had just done short films on the internet and he's there and he's like, hey, i'm bob, i'm like, i know who -- i know who
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you are. and i was like, your name's robert, by the way. [ laughter ] and there's this moment -- there's this moment where, to me, this is an idol. the people are idols. imagine when you meet a legend like robert de niro. i was doing the scene and it was going very well and he laughed at me, he was like, this kid is funny. i'm a terrible robert de niro. >> jimmy: that's all right. everyone does a good june. >> can do -- >> jimmy: it's about time somebody does a bad one. >> i'm robert de niro! [ applause ] thank you guys. i'm sorry. i apologize. but he goes over, i don't know if it was -- by the way, i was way too young to understand that actors had methods. this is at the beginning when i was like, this is the only mule vie i'll ever do. who would ever hire me again? and he's in the corner, i'm like, i'm going to talk to him. i got to talk to him. never have a chance again. he laughed. he thought i was funny. i go over to him and i go, hey,
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bob, and in my head, i'm like, just called him bob, that's great. and he's like, hey, i was like, pretty fun movie, right? i don't know what the hell i was talking about. he's like, yeah. i was like, feels like a real new york movie, we're both from new york, i thought that was really hit it off. and then, for, not exaggeration, this is real world seconds, the amount of time, 30 real world seconds, which is an eternity in real life, it was just -- you'll be robert de niro and i'll be -- it was just this. [ applause ] and then -- no, wait. and then -- >> jimmy: we got to do it for the full 30 seconds. >> please don't. >> jimmy: really? why not? >> all right. [ laughter ] [ laughter ]
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>> and then after 30 seconds, i said -- >> jimmy: we still have four seconds left. >> sorry. >> jimmy: okay, now. >> i go, that's it? we got nothing else to [ bleep ] talk about? and then he goes like this, he goes -- he laughed and he loved it. and then we talked for 30 minutes and it was so lovely, we talked about new york, i grew up in riverdale, which is an archie reference. we talked about all these things. i said where do you live, he said the area, and i said, what treat? and then, i was like, slow down, ben. he was slowly no longer answering. i was like, but what's your social security question? i realized i went too far and i was like -- i'm going to -- talk to you soon. and then, but he was so genuine. >> jimmy: you keep in touch? >> oh, man. why don't we ask him? robert!
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>> jimmy: ben schwartz, everybody. "this is where i leave you" opens december 19th. we'll be right back with misterwives. tom wolf. he'd be a different kind of governor. he served in the peace corps in india. and then got a phd from mit. and as a businessman he gives between 20 and 30 percent of his profits back to his employees. when he served as pennsylvania's secretary of revenue. he turned down the perks. and donated his government salary to charity he refused take a state car, he drove his old jeep instead. can't argue with that. tom wolf. he'd bring a fresh start to pennsylvania.
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>> jimmy: thanks to lena dunham, ben schwartz. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. with the title track from their debut ep "reflections," mist e r misterwives! ♪ ♪ you didn't close the door left a crack open i couldn't ignore ♪ ♪ the faint possibility of having hope
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in this insanity ♪ ♪ that we still could be but we're stuck floating in between ♪ ♪ put me on the shelf discipline myself to let the sparks die out ♪ ♪ i'm shattering anything that has reflections of you ♪ ♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh ♪ ♪ you ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh ♪ ♪ you ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh ♪ ♪ our eyes were closed with hearts opened wide dismissed every rule to abide by ♪ ♪ our bodies undressed the layers of shy revealing the truth that was buried inside ♪ ♪ filled up feelings that now
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are bursting at the seams ♪ ♪ put me on the shelf discipline myself to let the sparks die out ♪ ♪ i'm shattering anything that has reflections of you ♪ ♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh ♪ ♪ you ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh ♪ ♪ unsure of what are my dreams it seems you have stolen my slumber and awakened another ♪ ♪ life within me that is better than any other reaching endless heights in never ending nights ♪ ♪ that can't be seen put to bed this dream ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ put me on the shelf discipline myself to let the sparks die out ♪ ♪ i'm shattering anything
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this is "nightline." tonight -- overexposed. have a sexy selfie? so do they. from celebs to the new nude reality stars. >> nice necklace. >> thank you. >> it looks like everyone's bearing it all. >> your [ bleep ] hanging out. >> why we're stripping down now more than ever. plus, let the royal baby mania begin. william and kate announce their little prince is getting a sib llg. >> great news. early days. >> why they delivered a premature message today and what a certain other prince had to say about it. >> it's great. and, land of lava. why is he going in there? we're taking you on a journey with an adventurer who knows no fear. how he plunges into the hottest place on earth and how he made it out alive. but first -- the "nightline" five.
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