facebook. that's it. i'm jeff skversky, jimmy kimmel that's it. i'm jeff skversky, jimmy kimmel take it a away. >> jimmy: it's jimmy. >> hi, jimmy. come in. >> jimmy: thank you. i hope i'm not bothering you. >> no, no. >> jimmy: i want to thank you for being on the show. >> i don't mind it. >> jimmy: and this is a big night for me because not only are you here, but i just finished my screenplay so -- >> you wrote a screenplay? >> jimmy: i did, yeah. it's kind of a passion project for me. took me five years to write this thing so -- and i hope this isn't inappropriate, but i kind of wrote it with, hoping you would play the lead. >> you wrote it with me in mind to play the lead? >> jimmy: yeah, not only with you in mind i wrote it really for you. >> well, jimmy, what an honor. i mean, i'm bowled over. >> jimmy: really?

>> yeah, you know, anything you want to do here. >> jimmy: really? >> happy to do it. as long as -- as long as i'm not playing like god or president or doing any narration. >> jimmy: okay. thanks so much for coming. >> no. >> jimmy: i'll see you tonight. i'm not quite finished with it. >> i can just read through it. >> jimmy: i'd rather -- >> just let me read the thing. >> jimmy: okay. >> it was at that moment i édh&a realized jimmy kimmel is a dumb ass. >> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, morgan freeman, julianne hough, and music from ingrid michaelson.

and now here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks for watching. thank you for coming. we have a great show for you tonight. we have all the ingredients for a great show anyway. julianne hough, ingrid michaelson and the one and only morgan freeman are here tonight. i'm playing tonight, see if i can get morgan freeman to do his morgan freeman impression. i've heard it's among the best. we're getting into a special time of the year right now. maybe you've noticed this already. it's pumpkin spice season. this is when without any warning, every store you go into

has something flavored pumpkin spice, lattes, pumpkin spice tea, pumpkin spice muffins, doughnuts, scones, cake. they even have pumpkin spice oreos now. for real. they're tan on the top and orange in the middle like hooters girls, really. the pumpkin spice craze is especially overwhelming here in los angeles. we don't have weather here so the only way we know what season it is, is by how our coffee is. mint, better start my christmas shopping. pumpkin spice must have the best p.r. person in the world. it's squirrelled its way into everything. there's pumpkin spice beer, shampoo, m&ms, bagel chips. there are pumpkin spice pringles, which actually sounds disgusting, but i'm surprised they aren't coming out with a pumpkin spice iphone 6. >> jimmy, jimmy. >> yes. >> big news. >> what? >> they just came out with a

pumpkin spice iphone 6. [ applause ] >> go back out and try it again. >> all right. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> all right. >> i'm telling you what, i'm surprised they haven't come out with a pumpkin spice iphone 6. >> jimmy, big news. >> what? >> they just came out with a pumpkin spice iphone 6. >> that was a lot better. that was so much better. i wonder how many times in a row we could do that. anyway, enough with all the pumpkin spice. pumpkin spice advil. that would -- don't mind if i do. this is crazy. in new york there's a new condo development. we're all accustomed to hearing how much some of these cost but this one is selling parking spots for $1 million.

it's $1 million to park your car. wouldn't it be cheaper to just get a ticket every day for the rest of your life, park wherever you want? they're located at a trendy address in soho and available to residents only on a first come, first serve basis. they're pretty nice. >> prime location. clean lines. post-war concrete. newly renovated ventilation, convenient to restaurants, shopping and all the vibrant culture soho has to offer. boasting a spacious 150 square feet. give your luxury vehicle the lifestyle it deserves. starting at $1 million. the spot at 42 crosby. unparalleled parking for people who are going to hell. >> well, that's not necessarily true, is it? this is -- [ applause ] i don't want to bring everyone down but apparently taylor swift and katy perry are fighting. according to my sources which are a group of 12-year-old girls

i ran into at wetzel's pretzels across the street, this is true. in the new "rolling stone" she said her song "bad blood" is about another female entertainer with whom she's had problems. she said the woman tried to sabotage her tour by hiring people out from under her. she said it was katy perry. katie sent this cryptic tweet, watch out for the regina george in sheep's clothing, a character on "mean girls." apparently this has something to do with backup dancers who left taylor to work for perry. it's a little bit hard to follow. i'm going to break it down using emojis if you don't mind. taylor swift said inflammatory things about a person we presume is katy perry. that's the brown-haired emoji. she implied katie also with the microphone i guess stole three backup dancers away from her,

then katy perry tweeted that taylor is a bad person even though she acts all nice and now their relationship has turned into this. i hope that clears it up. [ applause ] by the way, i believe that's what newspapers are going to look like in the future. you know, usually when you hear katy perry versus taylor swift, it's a drunk bachelorette party arguing what song to sing. while taylor and katy are making war, miley cyrus is making art. today, the artwork of miley will be on display at the "v" magazine gallery in new york, the exhibition is called dirty hippie. this is real footage. it's a collection of artwork miley made. it's the -- it finally answers the question what if miley cyrus got her hands on a hot glue gun and a wheelbarrow full of weed. she threw a stick of dynamite in

a skittles factory. art is objective, i'm not educated when it comes to art, so i invited an art critic here to talk about it. he brought a piece from the collection with him. please welcome hunter browning. there he is. thank you for being here. now, is -- so miley cyrus' art is interesting to you? >> oh, yes, very much. >> jimmy: and what about it do you like exactly? >> well, that's a marvelous dance between color and line, form and function, value and void. >> jimmy: that piece you brought with you, it's, it appears to be a sex toy with charms hot glued to it and it looks like there's a joint glued to the top. >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: so why is that significant? >> it's an explosive inner penetration of a sensuous being that's conspiring to create a

vibrant, witty and hedonistic statement. >> jimmy: and what statement is that exactly? >> miley is making a dangerous yet whimsical comment about a feral relationship sexually with an unconscious vilification. >> jimmy: what is the comment that miley is making specifically? >> it's, listen, dude, i have no [ expletive ] clue what -- i'm a big dodger fan. i wanted to be a sports writer. wasn't anything open, so i was stuck. i got this art critic thing. i mean, do you think i give a [ expletive ]? about this bedazzled vibrator? i don't! i really, really don't! >> jimmy: take it easy, take it easy. i'm very sorry to put you in this position. >> you should be. >> jimmy: thank you very much. hey, you forgot her sculpture.

>> stuff it in your ass. >> jimmy: oh. i don't want to. he was very, very rude. hey, what's up, guillermo? >> i'm here with a pumpkin spice iphone 6. [ applause ] >> you are. go back in the hall. >> all right. >> jimmy: all right. one more thing. it's thursday night. and it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. this week in unnecessary censorship. [ applause ] >> security is at the core of apple pay, but so is privacy. we are not in the business of [ expletive ] your [ expletive ]. >> like you know my mom's like you need [ expletive ] three or four different guys at one time and just have a lot of fun. >> okay, what about the guy yesterday that [ expletive ] the

guy in [ expletive ] with his foot? >> unneccessary roughness number 84 for [ expletive ] a defender in the [ expletive ]. >> the thing, the summer into fall cold. no physical ailments other than that. >> you mentioned [ expletive ]. >> don't [ expletive ] each other. don't try and [ expletive ] me. >> i walk into the studio outside. kevin harvick's car [ expletive ] is just hanging out there. >> women [ expletive ] women. >> what am i looking at? >> this is my [ expletive ]. >> i would let you [ expletive ] my mother for mario vitale. >> i'm going to say very clearly [ expletive ] my drawers. >> i know my husband and andy cohen have very long [ expletive ]. >> i just [ expletive ] wonder woman. do you really think you can [ expletive ] me. >> i'm not trying to [ expletive ] you. i'm trying to stall you. >> stall me? for what? >> oh.

[ applause ] >> jimmy: we have music from ingrid michaelson, julianne hough is here. we'll be right back with morgan freeman so stick around. ♪ oh, no, you can't open that. please choose one based on the cover. here we go! whoa... no test rides allowed. i can't show you the inside, but trust me. are you kidding me? at university of phoenix, we think you should be able to try before you buy. that's why we offer students new to college a risk-free period. so you can commit to your education with confidence. get started at phoenixtrial.edu you might actually be the last person to try

applebee's new crosscut ribs. look at that succulent, slow cooked pork. you love succulent slow cooked things! you talk about it all the time! new crosscut ribs, all-you-can-eat for a limited time, only at applebee's. and come in late night, for a half price apps. with crest 3d white luxe toothpaste. only crest 3d white has whitelock technology. it removes stains within the microfine lines of your teeth... and locks out future stains. crest 3d white luxe toothpaste. life opens up with a whiter smile. crethis jolly rancher.s forste. untamed fruit flavor.

dowlower... that's more like it! petsmart's prices on your favorite food brands just got lower! shop a wide assortment of food and save up to $8 on your favorite dog & cat food brands. at petsmart®. that's all i crave.e that's where this comes in. only nicorette gum has patented dual-coated technology for great taste. plus nicorette gum gives you intense craving relief. and that helps put my craving in its place. that's why i only choose nicorette.

♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight, a lady who knows a doble when she sees one. a new full-time judge on "dancing with the stars." julianne hough is here with us tonight. and then this is her album called "lights out," the gifted ingrid michaelson. from the at&t stage. next week, we have a good week next week. our guests will be jane fonda, key and peele. from modern family, ty burrell, kaley cuoco, len good man, anthony anderson and music from bastille, paolo nutini. and i will be here too not that it matters.

our first guest needs no introduction. no one could make it sound as good as he could, anyway. his newest movie is called "dolphin tale 2." it opens tomorrow. please welcome morgan freeman. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tell you what -- thank you for coming. they're all excited to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you -- i feel like i'm in the sequel to batman. i feel like batman right now because you're here. how are you? >> i'm fine. what do you mean you feel like you're in batman because i'm here? what? >> jimmy: because you were in batman. you didn't know that? >> yes, jimmy.

i knew that. >> jimmy: you didn't know that, okay. >> i still don't understand why you -- >> jimmy: there's no point in going back. >> you told me you were strange. i said come on. >> jimmy: speaking of strange. we had a great conversation the last time you were here. i enjoyed it. i don't know about you. you told us some things that i never knew, you once reported seeing a ufo. do you remember this? it turned out to be a hot air balloon or something like that? yes. you were arrested for hitchhiking? i think you told us. >> do you ever hear this statement, when you're in the hole, stop digging? >> jimmy: tell it to those chilean miners. what? they got out. they're fine. all of them. [ applause ] >> that was pulled from three years ago's headlines.

i think it's going to be the 20th anniversary of "shawshank redemption. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's this fall. is that the movie people mention to you more than others? >> more than anything else. >> jimmy: it's on television all the time. it's such a great movie. it wasn't a big hit when it first came into the theaters, true? >> it wasn't, no. >> jimmy: why do you think that is? >> because nobody could say shaw -- shaw -- shank -- sham, ship -- >> jimmy: shamwow! i think is the word you're looking for. >> no, actually, you know, i don't care how you market a movie, if word of mouth doesn't get ahold of it, it's not going anywhere. nobody could say "shawshank redemption." >> jimmy: that's interesting. i guess there had to be a reason. now i think there's a shawshank redemption channel where it runs --

>> you would think so. >> jimmy: if i get caught in it, i cannot be released. i will watch the whole thing no matter what point i join it because it is such a good movie. is that a movie you look back on ever and stop and watch it yourself? >> i don't come across it, really. >> jimmy: you don't? >> no, no. maybe twice in the 20 years have i come across "shawshank redemption." >> jimmy: are there movies you were in that you've never seen? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: any jump to your head. >> bonfire of the vanities. >> jimmy: why did you decide not to see or did you decide? did you just never get around to it? never got around to it. >> yeah, all of that. >> jimmy: that's when you know you're a movie star when there are movies you are in that you've never bothered to watch. do you or have you ever had a nickname? >> yes. yes.

until i was maybe 16 years old, i was called junior. >> jimmy: junior. >> junior. >> jimmy: is there a senior? >> well, there was. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> i mean it wasn't a real senior. i didn't have the same name, just have the same first and last name. i don't have a middle name. >> jimmy: you don't. >> i do not. >> jimmy: oh, let's give you one. wouldn't that be something if we marched right down to the dmv and said give this man a middle name? you know what i think would be a great -- [ applause ] >> now, don't, no, please, please. do not encourage this man. [ laughter ] in this venture. >> jimmy: have you ever shoplifted anything? >> no. >> jimmy: have you ever been hypnotized? >> no. >> jimmy: never?

have you ever thought about it?. >> yes, i tried. that's why i know i never have been. >> jimmy: do you ever get mistaken for other actors? >> once i was in the airport, dallas ft. worth, my cap is down and my glasses and stuff and the guy comes over and says i know you're trying to be incognito but i recognize you. i said, oh, really? he said yes, samuel l. jackson. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and i said no, i'm not. he said you're lying. [ laughter ] but i understand. >> jimmy: have you ever done karaoke? >> there are two ways to look at that, jimmy. yes, and no. >> jimmy: yes, and no, i see. you have a particular song that you will do in karaoke? >> if i did karaoke, i would

probably -- because i'm a baritone like frank sinatra, so whatever he sings i can sing on that key. >> jimmy: so sinatra is the way to go. >> yes. >> jimmy: who taught you about the birds and the bees? >> biology teacher. >> jimmy: you learned in school? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you remember what grade? >> i didn't learn anything about sex, but the birds and the bees i learned. >> jimmy: who taught you about sex? do you ever learn -- did somebody sit you down and say -- >> i'm still working on it. [ applause ] >> jimmy: is there a -- is there a role that you would like to play that you've always thought, i'd love to do this and that you haven't had the opportunity? >> yes. >> jimmy: what? >> lots of stuff. >> jimmy: anything in particular? >> there was one character i really, really, really wanted to

play. i mean he was a deputy united states marshal during the frontier days in the 1870s and '80s. out of ft. smith, arkansas. his name was bass reeves. and he was a real person. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and all of american history, you probably never heard of him, but there he was. i wanted to be him. i wanted to play him. >> jimmy: and nobody ever took you up on it. >> well, you have to do that yourself. that's why i formed a film company, so i could. >> jimmy: i see. >> we've got it set up but i can't play it. >> jimmy: you know what i'd suggest? if you started out by getting a middle name, maybe things would ease up for you. i really think -- everything could -- we're going to take a break. morgan freeman is here with us. we're going to get him a middle name. we're going to get him a middle name. ♪s that do? not sureit looks awesome.

♪ we heat the room to 110 degrees. huh? she's fine. on your right! what did you get? no clue, but it's jacked with protein. wow in a world filled with fads, it's nice to get back to basics. seriously dude? meat, cheese and nuts? seriously. new p3 portable protein pack from oscar mayer with 13g of serious protein. it's p3, it's oscar mayer. a good night's sleep... and aveeno®. [ female announcer ] only aveeno® positively radiant face moisturizer has an active naturals® total soy formula... one of nature's most effective skin tone correctors. it helps reduce the look of brown spots in just four weeks. now that's an idea you don't have to sleep on. [ female announcer ] aveeno® positively radiant. naturally beautiful results™.

to get up from september 16th to the 29th. or snooze buttons because when coffee this rich, smooth, and delicious is free... it's going to turn you into a morning person. only at mcdonald's. [door be♪l rings] [phone rings] hello. introducing wi-fi calling. now every wi-fi connection works like a t-mobile tower. it's wi-fi unleashed. let's show 'em what a breakfast with whole grain fiber can do.

one coffee with room, one large mocha latte, medium macchiato, a light hot chocolate hold the whip, two espressos. make one a double. she's full and focused. [ barista ] i have two cappuccinos, one coffee with room, one large mocha latte, a medium macchiato, a light hot chocolate hold the whip, and two espressos -- one with a double shot. heh, heh. that's not the coffee talkin'. [ female announcer ] start your day with kellogg's frosted mini wheats cereal. with whole wheat goodness on one side and a hint of sweetness on the other, it's a delicious way to get the nutrition you want. ♪ ♪ introducing made to matter, handpicked by target. . exclusive innovations from brands that truly care about how things are made. only at target. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.

everybody knows that parker. well... did you know auctioneers make bad grocery store clerks? that'll be $23.50. now .75, 23.75, hold 'em. hey now do i hear 23.75? 24! hey 24 dollar, 24 and a quarter, quarter, now half, 24 and a half and .75! 25! now a quarter, hey 26 and a quarter, do you wanna pay now, you wanna do it, 25 and a quarter- -sold to the man in the khaki jacket! geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.

>> does he ever come out? >> not much. not since panama died. it's hard to even coax her out to eat. >> have you ever tried bacon? it works for my cat. >> jimmy: that is morgan freeman

and harry connick jr. in "dolphin tale 2." it opens in theaters tomorrow. it is the sequel to "dolphin tale." >> one, yeah. >> jimmy: is it the same dolphin actor? >> same dolphin actor. yep. you can't fake her, because she has a dolphin tail. >> jimmy: yeah, she has a dolphin tail. and it is a dolphin tail. >> no, jimmy, doffed. a doffed tail. cut off. right. >> jimmy: oh, i see doffed. that's the technical term for the tail? because i just say she's got a cut-off tail. >> you can say that if you weren't quite as sharp as me. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] well, that's clear. >> see? >> jimmy: how about the dolphins themselves? do you get the sense -- they always say that dolphins are very, very intelligent animals and i wonder. >> no, i think they are. i really do. i've been with them, out in the ocean. >> jimmy: you have? >> yeah, i'm a blue water sailor. i have a boat that i take out in the ocean.

and very often, when you're in deep water, here they come. once i had about a pod of 100 that come by, and they just play around with you for a while, and then you just seem to be able to hear what they're saying when they -- they go off and they play, come back, they say, hey, was that cool or what? >> jimmy: i think part of why we like them so much is they look like they're smiling all the time. but we know they're not smiling. >> no, they really aren't smiling. but you're right. we think they are. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so it looks like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you feel like, when you come back after however year, year and a half since you worked with the dolphin, do you feel like the dolphin recognizes you in any way? >> no, because, no -- i don't really interact with the dolphin. the first movie, i did more than the second movie. so, no, i didn't get the impression -- >> jimmy: you and the dolphin have not kept in touch? >> no, no. not only that, she doesn't text. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: well, it's hard to with the doffed tail. are you a texter? >> that's the only way you can get in touch with me. i hate the phone. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you go on the internet, like, are there websites you regularly visit? >> no. >> jimmy: never go on? >> no, i mean, i go on -- yeah, i go on, i go on msnbc, see what the headlines are, all the little things you don't get in the paper. >> jimmy: right. because i wouldn't even -- i really wouldn't imagine you texting in the first place. i would think you'd be a guy that -- that you would not be interested in such. but yeah, there it is. you've got a blackberry, so, you are a little bit behind the times. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guillermo -- don't we have a pumpkin spice iphone over there? >> yeah, i do. >> jimmy: that's not for you.

do you like animals in general? >> yes. i do. i have a herd of horses, a mess of cats. there was an entire gaggle -- [ laughter ] of geese on my place. >> jimmy: friendly? >> i -- i don't know. we don't interact. >> jimmy: you don't, yeah. some of those birds can be very nasty. >> they can be. particularly if they have goslings, you know what those are. >> jimmy: i do. ryan gosling, he's an actor. i have guests on the show all the time. [ applause ] very handsome. >> i'm just going to stop talking. >> jimmy: have you thought about fairchild as your middle name? morgan fairchild freeman? >> we were sitting next to each other once in a restaurant, believe it or not. >> jimmy: you and i? oh, morgan fairchild. >> morgan fairchild, beautiful

blonde lady, about that tall, and i, morgan freeman -- >> jimmy: yes. >> -- were sitting close to each other in a restaurant a few years ago. all right? >> jimmy: okay. that's the whole story? [ laughter ] >> what did you want? >> jimmy: i don't know. something i could share with the dolphins, perhaps. >> i sat with morgan fairchild in a restaurant. >> jimmy: did you do one of those things like you do when you're driving the same car as somebody else, you go, hey, we're both morgans. >> yesterday a lady in a car just like mine, only hers was white and mine was red. >> jimmy: you gave her the nod? >> well, i beeped and she gave me the thumbs up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would hope she would. can i tell you what happens to me? >> no, what happened to you? [ applause ] >> jimmy: when i'm in my car and i see -- it has to be the same color and the same model car as i am, an i'll give them one of these. they almost never respond and it

makes me crazy! but i'm not morgan freeman. >> well, there is that. >> jimmy: i'm not even morgan fairchild, for that matter. >> you're not. you know what i would do if i was you -- >> jimmy: what would you do? >> i'd quit doing that. >> jimmy: morgan freeman, everyone. "dolphin tale 2" opens in theatres tomorrow. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. ♪ the beam family has a long history of doing things their own way. in fact, they age every drop of jim beam twice as long as the law requires for a true kentucky straight bourbon. ♪ so four long years from now... i'll be back for this one. that's how jim beam makes history. how will you make yours?

that's how jim beam makes history. that's why there's a listerine® product for every mouth. one to clean your whole mouth. one for those hard to reach places. one to protect kids mouths from cavities. even one to freshen breath on-the-go. with over 100 years of innovation in oral care... there's a listerine® product for every mouth in your house. for cleaner, healthier mouths go beyond brushing alone. listerine®. power to your mouth ™. hardcore fitness based on 19th century farming practices. pick it! pick it! pick it! pull the plow son! this is not a one man joobbb!!! [ male announcer ] however you stay fit start with delicious low fat sandwiches like the subway club. subway. eat fresh.

finally, the purple pill,hr the #1 prescribed acid blocking brand, comes without a prescription for frequent heartburn. get complete protection. nexium level protection™ right here. with a control pad that can read your handwriting, a wide-screen multimedia center, and a head-up display for enhanced driver focus. all inside a newly redesigned cabin of unrivaled style and comfort. ♪ the all-new c-class. at the very touch point of performance and innovation. ♪

at the very touch point of performance and innovation. (dootrick or treat! mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! into one you'll never forget. earn triple points when you book with the expedia app. expedia plus rewards. we used to have so many emptymom!ls! that's why we switched to charmin ultra mega roll. charmin ultra mega roll is 75% more absorbent so you can use less with every go. plus it even lasts longer than the leading thousand sheet brand. charmin ultra mega roll.

♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. julianne hough and music from ingrid michaelson are on the way. but first, as you probably know, rappers, hip-hoppers and the like, often use strong language to express themselves. which makes it easy to forget that they were once babies and have moms. so, every once in a while, we ask the mother of a famous rapper to read some of their child's lyrics. we've done this with wiz khalifa's mother, big sean, t.i.'s mother, and tonight the woman who gave birth to mac miller speaks. >> hi, i'm mac miller's mom, and this is from the song "watching movies." ♪ >> it's a strip club, see some hoes that i went to school with. out in london like lennox lewis. looking like farrah fawcett. i'm just trying to make better music.

get this money, share the profits now this class getting led by students. smoke some weed, get [ bleep ] while i do it. how's that? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks, mom. we'll be right back with julianne hough. ugh, you still haven't had applebee's new crosscut ribs. they're the most tender, irresistible ribs ever,

they're even all-you-can-eat and you still haven't had any?! fine, you know what? i'm going to drive you to the nearest applebee's. crosscut ribs are all-you-can-eat for a limited time, only at applebee's. and come in late night for half price apps. t-mobile's network has more data capacity than verizon or at&t. it's a network designed data strong. compact sedan that's fun,neered fuel-efficient, and affordable, there's only the volkswagen jetta. like this one, 36 highway mpg. well, except for the 42 highway mpg jetta tdi clean diesel. oh, right, and the 48 highway mpg jetta hybrid. and if you want all that variety in another compact sedan there's... huh. nothing. right now, get a great deal on all jetta models like the 2014 jetta s for $139 a month.

whand naturally when things aren 201new and different,its time, sometimes people aren't ready for them. experts saw the bigger screen and were like, "you'll look like you're talking into a piece of toast." "the note is an unwieldy beast." now it's not being dismissed by competitors. it's being imitated. thing is, the note is more than big. it's about being more productive. ...wait for it... ...i like that part. more innovative. ohhh. cool. more fun. [turntable scratch] today people are saying... is it just me, or does the new iphone 6 look like a samsung galaxy note 2, from 2012? it's cute how apple thinks their phablet is a fresh idea when samsung mobile has been excelling at them for years already. #nextbigthing the new samsung galaxy note 4. the next big thing is here.

to get up from september 16th to the 29th. or snooze buttons because when coffee this rich, smooth, and delicious is free... it's going to turn you into a morning person. only at mcdonald's. crest gaand the other, a crestwhitening toothpaste.. here's what they thought. i can't tell if the paste whitened. well the whitestrips worked. yeah. the paste didn't do that. crest whitestrips work below the enamel surface, to whiten 25x better than a leading whitening toothpaste. crest whitestrips. the way to whiten. don't believe tom corbett's tv ad. the facts speak for themselves. tom corbett cut a billion dollars from our schools. he took an ax to education. twenty-seven thousand educators were laid-off.

class sizes increased. and now almost eighty percent of school districts plan to raise property taxes. tom corbett. can't trust him on education. can't trust him to be for us.

♪ >> jimmy: she's from england, ingrid michaelson. like ruth bader ginsburg, our next guest became one of this country's most powerful and respected judges sitting alongside goodman on season 19 of "dancing with the stars," starting monday night here on abc. please welcome julianne hough. [ applause ] ♪ >> how you doing?

>> jimmy: you, boy, you tried to get away from "dancing with the stars" but they pulled you right back in. >> they tried and succeeded. >> jimmy: which is harder, being a dancer or a judge on the show? >> basically the extent of being a judge, i've had a fitting and that's it. so. >> jimmy: so that is easy. >> so blisters and a lot of cracking the whip i used to do i don't have to do anymore. >> jimmy: they don't make you practice holding up the cards? >> no, it's more difficult than you think. it's like math. i'm not very good at math. is this an 8, a 7? >> jimmy: why don't they write it on both sides? then you won't have a problem. >> that would be smart. >> jimmy: i could streamline that whole process over there. are you a judgmental person by nature? >> what? your hair grew. i was noticing something back there. >> jimmy: are you judging it? >> that's why i said it. i like it. i was using a fork to tease my hair. i almost brought it out for you.

no, i'm not a judgmental person. >> jimmy: your brother's on the show. you have to sit there and give him a score. >> i judge him every day so it's all good. >> jimmy: is that going to give him an unfair advantage? is that unfair? >> i think that is a big concern. >> jimmy: oh, my god. everyone is so concerned about that. >> so concerned. but honestly, i mean, my brother is more, kind of like my friend. we grew up at, like, same like-mindedness, so, for us, we're more like a team and the same thing with the other dancers, cheryl, mark, i've known them since i was 10. really i'm just judging my friends and derek's in that category. >> jimmy: i see, wow. so, you will not give him preferential treatment? >> if anything, i'll be harder on him. >> jimmy: that's not fair either. >> that's true. he doesn't seem to need help. he seems to come close to winning if not win every single time. >> i have nothing to say to that.

i don't know. i don't know, though. because honestly, i'm kind of excited about this one contestant who, his name is not aaron samuels, it's actually jonathan bennett. he was in "mean girls." you guys remember that? >> jimmy: oh, in the movie, right. >> super hot. i remember last year, he tweeted me and he was like, my trainer, julianne, you have a really nice butt. and i was like, oh, my gosh, like -- this is awesome. i'm going to totally go on a date with him. like, this is so cool. and then i found out he's gay, so, that doesn't work, but -- anyway. >> jimmy: i have a feeling if -- >> my heart is broken. >> jimmy: if anyone can turn him around, it's you. >> that would be the only unfair advantage. jonathan, if we went on a date. >> jimmy: so, you are saying if people tweet obscene remarks at you -- there's a good possibility you will date them. >> i will go on a date. >> jimmy: how about that? >> i'm not judgmental. >> jimmy: what a great tip. let's go through some of the contestants this year. lolo jones, yes. she's an athlete, olympic, like,

bobsledder, right? >> she's ripped. her arms are amazing. >> jimmy: these athletes are typically good. >> they're really good. they have the mind-set. they have the discipline and the focus. >> jimmy: whereas the actors don't necessarily have that. >> no. >> jimmy: what about this? this is betsy johnson. she's a designer. >> i am so excited about her. i actually watched their first meeting, her and tony and she did a cartwheel into the splits. >> she looks like she's crazy to me. >> crazy awesome! >> jimmy: this is, oh, antonio sabato jr. >> cheryl gets the hot guys. with dimples and stuff. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's got it in his blood, right? >> jimmy: why did they dress everyone like this is 1986? let's see. do you know who this is? >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: this is from my youth, not yours. >> i just came across a delorean the other day. >> jimmy: that's lea thompson. she was in "back to the future." >> yes.

>> jimmy: who is this? >> this is sadie. she's from "duck dynasty." >> jimmy: right. she's the daughter on "duck dynasty." >> she is adorable. and super fun. i'm excited to watch her dance, because you can tell she's just out there to have a good time. >> jimmy: is she a good dancer? >> i have no idea. i have not seen anybody dance yet. >> jimmy: you have to study this stuff. >> i'm winging it, guys. >> jimmy: alfonso ribeiro. now, do you remember, when i was a kid, besides being on "fresh prince of bel air" and he had the carlton dance, by the way. >> oh, i know. it's before my time, but -- >> jimmy: he used to have a series of vhs videos you could order where he would say like, can you dance? can you rap? >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. he was a professional dancer. >> i did not know that. >> jimmy: see, you got to know this stuff. >> i got to do the research. >> jimmy: michael waltrip. he's a nascar champion. i was talking to dale earnhardt jr. last night. he said he's going to be terrible. [ laughter ]

>> he's got a fan base, though. let's just put it that way. >> jimmy: he definitely does. this is randy couture. >> yes. >> jimmy: who is he dancing with? >> karina. >> jimmy: god help her. >> i would actually say god help him. because she is a huge fan and she's fangirling out. she named her dog after him. >> jimmy: she did? maybe they'll make love then. [ laughter ] >> furry puppy babies. >> jimmy: do you know who this is? >> yes, i do. >> jimmy: tommy chong. will he be allowed to smoke on stage? >> i think he's going to have a good time and i think his partner peta might have a second hand good time. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. here we have a couple more. this young lady is a star on youtube and she's dancing with your brother, derek. >> yes, she is. >> jimmy: is derek single? what's going on with him? >> that's exactly what i was thinking when i saw them. but she's 18, which is, i mean, legal, but -- [ laughter ]

but -- you know what? she's a really cute young girl and i love what she stands for about girls and bullying. >> jimmy: she's for bullying or against it? >> what does she look like? she's against it, of course. >> jimmy: this is janelle parrish. she was from "pretty little liars." this is your guy right here. who you found out -- >> this is my twitter butt guy. >> jimmy: what a shame. and this is -- tavis smiley. >> super serious. i'm hoping to see some fun come out of him. >> jimmy: he's going to be eliminated the first week. >> is that your prediction? >> jimmy: and sasha obama. is dancing this year. that's quite a get for you guys. >> that would be amazing. >> jimmy: wouldn't it? keep your fingers crossed. you never know. well, it's very good to see you. we'll be watching all season. i'm going to be gambling on this as i always do. >> you always do. >> jimmy: if you would be so kind as to pay attention to whom i bet on -- >> okay. >> jimmy: and maybe be -- a little bit forgiving. >> i need the money.

>> jimmy: don't worry. if the person i like wins and you give some unusual scores, there will be payment. >> awesome. >> jimmy: julianne hough, everybody. "dancing with the stars," monday at 8:00 on abc. we'll be right back with ingrid michaelson. ♪ the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. (postal worker) hey! millers! you two day-dreaming? (millers, in unison) yes. (postal worker) about your victorian dream home? (mrs. miller) uh huh. (postal worker) or maybe a colonial home? (mr. miller) how did you... (postal worker) you have the new game from the pennsylvania lottery.

(mr. miller) yeah, the new $1,000,000 instant jackpot! (mrs. miller) with 5 top prizes of $1,000,000. (postal worker) welcome to the neighborhood! (voice over) want to see your dreams come to life? you could scratch your way to instant winning today. the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life.

the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank morgan freeman, julianne hough and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time.

"nightline" is next. but first, this is her album. it's called "lights out." here with the song "girls chase boys," ingrid michaelson. ♪ ♪ all the broken hearts in the world still beat let's not make it harder than it has to be ♪ ♪ ohh it's all the same thing girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ all the broken hearts in the world still beat let's not make it harder than it has to be ♪ ♪ ohh it's all the same thing girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm a little let down but i'm not dead there's a little bit more that has to be said ♪

♪ you played me now i play you too let's just call it over ♪ ♪ all the broken hearts in the world still beat let's not make it harder than it has to be ♪ ♪ ohh it's all the same thing girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ all the broken hearts in the world still beat let's not make it harder than it has to be ♪ ♪ ohh it's all the same thing girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ chase girls chase boys chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ i'm a little bit home but i'm not there yet it's one to forgive but it's hard to forget ♪ ♪ don't call me i won't call you too let's just call it over ♪

♪ all the broken hearts in the world still beat let's not make it harder than it has to be ♪ ♪ ohh it's all the same thing girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ all the broken hearts in the world still beat let's not make it harder than it has to be ♪ ♪ ohh it's all the same thing girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ chase girls chase boys chase boys chase girls i got two hands one beating heart ♪ ♪ and i'll be alright i'm gonna be alright yeah i got two hands one beating heart ♪ ♪ and i'll be alright i'm gonna be alright ♪ ♪ all the broken hearts in the world still beat let's not make it harder than it has to be ♪

♪ ohh it's all the same girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ all the broken hearts in the world still beat let's not make it harder than it has to be ♪ ♪ ohh it's all the same thing girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ ooh everything is going to be fine ohh ♪ ♪ everybody loves you baby ooh everything is going to be fine ♪ ♪ ohh girls chase boys chase girls ♪ ♪ ohh it's all the same thing girls chase boys chase girls ♪ [ applause ] >> thank you. ♪

this is "nightline." tonight, i got it wrong. i made a mistake. >> breaking his silence. roger goodell, speaking out. >> but now i will get it right. >> as domestic abuse scandals rock the league, he says he will not go anywhere. plus -- i walk the line. desperate for the new iphone 6. it will cost you hundreds of dollars, but there's a shortcut. just pay someone to stand in line for you. tonight, the secrets of the professional line sitter.