>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- sofia vergara. j.k. simmons. and the finale of jimmy's reality series "do you have what it takes?" and now, come closer. here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. thank you very much. welcome. thank you, cleto. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i really do appreciate it, especially tonight. thank you for braving the rain to be with us. it's been a very long time since it rained like this here in l.a.

parents were bringing their children outside just to show it to them. you see? [ laughter ] i told you, it comes down from the sky. last night, i went to dinner, after dinner, i called my driver, he picked me up in one of those boats with a big fan attached to it. the number one concern when it rains in l.a., well, mudslides, number one, but also keeping the kardashians from getting wet so they don't multiply. [ cheers and applause ] you have to be very careful. tonight in new york, they held the 82nd annual lighting of the tree in rockefeller center. it said to be the world's largest celebration of someone putting a plug in an electrical socket. this year's unlucky tree is an 85-foot tall norway spruce from pennsylvania. the tree was almost 90 years ol. it weighs 13 tons. i have no idea how al roker got that thing on the roof of his car. he's amazing.

have you been to one of those ugly christmas sweater parties? [ applause ] i like to call them -- i have different feelings about them, but -- i like that they call them ugly christmas sweater parties, as if there are christmas sweaters that aren't ugly. if you were invited to an ugly christmas sweater party, there's a company that will rent you a sweater. this is actually a good sweater. you don't have to spend 80 bucks on something you'll never wear again. you'll spend $25 on something you'll never wear again. i hope next year there will be a company that allows you to rent someone to go to the parties for you. that to me would be worth -- [ applause ] at least $100. the holidays are a time for family. for those of you who don't have family, i am very happy to share mine. in fact, you can have mine. from time to time, i ask my aunt chippy to answer questions from viewers of our show. the segment is called "dear aunt chippy" and tonight, she gives

it a holiday spin. >> hi, happy holidays from aunt chippy. we got a letter here. let's read it. dear aunt chippy, my mother-in-law's coming to stay with us for the holidays. i want to make my wife happy and welcome her, but my mother-in-law is loud. she smokes. she never cooks. she gambles. and she is always yelling. how do i fell her i prefer she stay in a hotel? happy holidays, you know who. i know who it is. i know who it is. i'm the mother-in-law. i'm the one that smokes and gambles and yells and everything else. you know what? i'm coming anyway. [ laughter ] too damn bad. you're stuck with me. you wanted my daughter, you got her. with her comes me. merry christmas, eric. [ laughter ]

if you have a question for me, please e-mail me at dearauntchippy@gmail.com. >> jimmy: poor cousin eric. this is funny. you remember tony blair? he and his wife sent a christmas card out this year and i'm sure they do it every year, but this christmas card, as you can see, is terrible. [ laughter ] angry wolverine of a face. [ laughter ] how is it possible that this is the photo they went with? was this the first one they took before the photographer ran out of space on the memory card? i actually thought about this a lot today. the only explanation i can come up with is that tony blair booked his holiday photo shoot at the same time he was scheduled for a prostate exam and he did both at the same time. we have a big show tonight. from "modern family," sofia vergara is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] she is our version of the lighting of the rockefeller

center christmas tree. and you know what, i hope she doesn't confuse me with her boyfriend again, because that is so uncomfortable. also tonight, he just won best supporting actor at the new york film critics circle awards for his excellent performance in "whiplash," j.k. simmons is here with us. and also something that's really thrilling, the exciting conclusion to our multi-part reality series, "do you have what it takes?" we gathered people who felt like they had what it takes and tonight, we're going to find out who has what it takes. [ cheers and applause ] it will be ridiculous. this is good. this is one of the reasons why i don't go snowboarding or exercise at all. it comes to us from beach mountain in north carolina. involves a man stuck on a ski lift and a valiant, awkward ski patrol attempt at a rescue. >> if you can start lowering yourself to the ground.

very good. perfect. right below you here. >> i'm coming down. >> oh. are you okay? >> it's all right. >> can you lower yourself a little bit? rappel. next time, i'm going to have to get up there and hold that. you're good, though, right? >> can i help with anything? >> jimmy: there's a guy holding the camera. [ cheers and applause ] no, you keep shooting. we got this. it's like the north carolina version of cirque du soleil. starbucks is getting into the holiday spirit with a new contest. starbucks is offering customers a chance to win starbucks for life. which, by the way, starbucks for life is what tupac was originally going to have tattooed on his stomach. the winner will be entitled to a free drink or food item every day for 30 days.

after that, they send someone to your house to kill you. only 14 ultimate starbucks cards will be given out. they have an estimated value of $54,000. they are made of 10 karat hammered gold and the winner's name will be engraved incorrectly on each one of the cards. you know this is going to go the guy who ordered the half caf double shot vanilla soy sugar free latte extra hot, right? he's going to be in front of you every day for the next 30 years. you know, if you've ever visited our little stretch of hollywood boulevard, you know it is brimming with interesting people, situations, smells. you name it, it's here. which makes hold little wood the perfect place to conduct social experiments. when we screw with people, we call it a social experiment. so, in the name of science, what we did was, we sent up a series of strange and tempting scenarios on the sidewalk out front of our theater. these people did not know they were on camera. these are their natural

reactions. first up, we left a plate of unattended sushi on a table with a sign that said, "free leftover sushi" and the question is, how long did it take someone to eat that sushi? let's find out. ♪ ♪ >> free leftover sushi. >> [ bleep ].

>> day me to try it? [ laughter ] >> should i do it? >> yeah. >> think it will made my sick? i can't get sick before i go to denver. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: your problem now, denver. we have another one. since it is flu season, we thought this would be interesting. how long will it take before someone high fives a man with a terrible hacking cough? let's find out.

♪ ♪ >> high five. whoo! [ coughing ] ♪ whoo! yeah, baby. oh. high five? yeah. >> jimmy: 43 seconds. anyone else suddenly feel the need to purell? we have one more. we dressed a guy up as a clown. we gave him a plate of salad and

we had him offer bites of the salad. how long do you think it will take before someone eat's salad from a clown's fork? here we go. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when a clown offers you salad, you take it. tonight on the show, sofia vergara is here. j.k. simmons is here. and when we come back, the moment of truth. the highly anticipated finale of "do you have what it takes?" we'll be right back.

this holiday season, subway is celebrating you. customer appreciation is back. enjoy two favorites for $2 each. the six-inch meatball marinara and the cold cut combo. all that for just $2? yep, it's our way of saying thanks. subway. eat fresh. for bfor a love this strong is a labor of love. there's new iams naturals, with no corn or chicken by-product meal, grain-free, and costs up to 25% less. iams naturals. just one of many iams formulas to keep love strong.

from their favorite aunt? boy: is she here? julia: yeah. i am. girl: mom says you give fancy gifts because you don't have a boyfriend. julia: i don't have a boyfriend. i have lots of boyfriends. ask around. presenting estaban! girl: he's allergic to hay. julia: then don't eat the hay. jenny: ok why don't you guys look under the tree, there's one more present for everyone. julia: wait what's happening? but what about... kids: wow. thanks, mom! julia: do you always have to one up me? where did you get this stuff? jenny: old navy. they are having a sale right now with gifts for 2,4,6, and 8 dollars. julia: i gotta go. gotta go! hang on estaban, we're going shopping. which means it's timeson for the volkswagen sign-then-drive event. for practically just your signature, you could drive home for the holidays in a german-engineered volkswagen. like the sporty, advanced new jetta... and the 2015 motor trend car of the year all-new golf. if you're wishing for a new volkswagen this season... just about all you need is a finely tuned... pen. get zero due at signing,

zero down, zero deposit, and zero first month's payment on select new volkswagen models.

six weeks ago, jimmy kimmel posted anonymous ad on craigslist for a mystery project called "do you have what it takes?" more than 100 hopefuls responded. the audition consisted on one simple question. >> do you have what it takes?

>> some did. >> i like to do sauces for pastas. >> you have what it takes. >> while others -- >> i am all yours. >> hell no. >> did not. after three grueling audition rounds, spanning more than two hours total, four finalists were selected. >> nadir. >> thank you. >> maria. >> carter. >> the honor is all mine, not yours. >> swaggy t. >> and tonight is their moment of truth. they have -- >> it's hard for me, to, like, talk. >> it's a talent competition. >> can i give you a hug? >> what it takes? but only one can have what it takes the most. ♪ do you have what it takes ♪ finale >> please welcome jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. welcome to the grand finale of "do you have what it takes?" i started this project because there are thousands of people in

hollywood who want to be famous. very few of these people have talent, but even fewer have a magical thing called "it." tonight, we have narrowed a field of 100 it-heads to four. [ laughter ] but before i bring them out, lets meet the judges who helped me find them. first, from the multi-grammy winning supergroup tlc, rozonda "chilli" thomas! [ cheers and applause ] welcome. next -- former bachelorette and current host of e news, ali fedotowsky! ali! [ cheers and applause ] how are you? welcome, ali. there you go. and actor, director and musician, malcolm-jamal warner. malcolm. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. nice to see you. so, here we are, been a long road, chilli, how are you feeling tonight? >> i am so excited.

can i not wait to find out. >> jimmy: ali, do you think we found the one? >> um -- i don't think we'll ever know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: malcolm, what for you was the most memorable part of this experience? >> nillic to the max. >> jimmy: i have to say, i found that to be pretty moving, myself. you know, our finalists tonight have the so much charisma, so much charm, so much energy. they are literally full of "it." and right now -- we're going to check out on hollywood boulevard with the host of "do you have what it takes," kenny mayne of espn. kenny, what is the situation with the fans out there? >> thank, jimmy. right now, there actually is no situation and there are no fans. i'd put the excitement level at zero. >> jimmy: wait a minute. zero? are you sure? zero. it's the live finale. >> let me check. yep.

it's dead. >> jimmy: all right. well, thanks, kenny. now it's time to introduce our four finalists. in no particular order, please welcome swaggy t, nadir, carter and maria! come on out! [ cheers and applause ] good to see you. how you doing? wow, wait a minute, where's maria? hold on a second. where's maria? what is this? i have just been handed a note that says -- oh, my goodness. maria did not show up tonight. apparently maria has not returned our call, our texts or e-mails. so, maria is -- not only is she out of the competition, she is officially dead to us. guillermo, can you come take this note back? thank you very much. good, instead of having four finalists, we now have three super finalists! [ cheers and applause ] wow. i never expected anything like

this. carter, nadir, swaggy t. tonight, one of you will be crowned champion, but before we do that, let's take a look back at your journeys. ♪ ♪ ♪ you have what it takes [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: powerful stuff there. malcolm, you and carter, this is carter. you were carter's mentor. how has carter grown in this competition? >> he hasn't. but that's the point. i needed carter to stay exactly the same because that's what we wanted. >> jimmy: i like that a lot. [ cheers and applause ] ali, you mentored nadir. do you think nadir has what it takes to have what it takes? >> i have no idea what you just said.

but yes, yes. >> jimmy: very good. i mentored nick, aka swaggy t. i feel like you came a long way since the beginning of this competition, yes? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: you did. from san diego, like, 100 miles away. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: finally, chilli, you were maria's mentor, but she did not show up. were you surprised? >> you know, after mentoring her, i think she realized she had too much of it. >> jimmy: too much of it? >> yes. >> jimmy: and she withheld it from us here tonight. >> exactly. >> jimmy: all right, well, let's get to the moment we've all been waiting for. but first -- let's look at the three super finalists in their very first commercial for chevy. >> we've asked some people who have what it takes to tell us about motor trend's truck of the year. >> it's big, it's red and it goes fast. >> sexy, sassy, not hot but spicy. that's the chevy colorado. >> it's a truck.

[ laughter ] >> the 2015 chevy colorado definitely has what it takes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice work, gentlemen. now, i'm going to ask you -- ask each of you one more time. do you have what it takes, and if the answer is no, please step out of this competition, make room for somebody who does, okay? all right, we'll start with swaggy t. >> i'm swaggy t and i got what it takes. >> jimmy: nadir? do you have what it takes? >> heck, yes. >> jimmy: carter? >> do i have what it takes, i promise, i have what it takes. nillic time! >> jimmy: there you go. they all have what it takes, but it's not for me to decide whether they do or not. not even for the judges to decide.

it is for america to decide -- and by america, i mean captain america. our friendly neighborhood captain america. come on in, captain. captain america, have you made your decision? >> i've made my decision. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, captain america. the name of the winner is in this envelope. the winner of "do you have what it takes" will be a winner indeed. he will receive a personal one-on-one meeting with my talent manager, a top hollywood talent manager, james "baby doll" dixon of dixon talent. smokers are welcome. you will receive a session with a semiprofessional head shot photographer. and whoever has what it takes will go home with the coveted "it" trophy to carry around with you on auditions. [ cheers and applause ] there's a lot at take. it's go time. who it will be, swaggy t, nadir, carter?

will it be one of our cameramen? will it be a random person in our studio audience? will it be my mother? only time will tell. first, gentlemen, it's time to eliminate one of you. the person we are about to send home almost has what it takes but here, almost isn't enough. person who is going home -- is nadir. i'm sorry, nadir. i'm real sorry. you do not have what it takes. nadir, go sit over on that stool right there. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: all right. are you excited? >> i promise, no matter what happens, this gentleman and i are still nillic to the max. no matter what. including the audience, nillic to the max.

yes! [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's not kidding, by the way. [ laughter ] all right. swaggy t, carter. are you ready? >> very. >> jimmy: judges, are you ready? >> ready. >> jimmy: audience, are you ready? [ cheers and applause ] nadir, are you ready? >> i'm so ready. >> jimmy: okay, you're ready. the person who has what it takes is -- carter! carter, congratulations. carter has what it takes. >> ah! >> jimmy: congratulations, carter. [ cheers and applause ] you have what it takes. how do you feel right now? please describe how you are feeling at this moment. >> my shirt says it all, jimmy. >> jimmy: that's chillin spelled

backwards. how are you going to celebrate? >> besides nillic, i'm at a loss for words. i'm going to celebrate with great people, like yourself, the audience, everybody. you guys are phenomenal. nillic to the max. thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: swaggy t, i'm very sorry. thanks to chilli, ali malcolm and kenny mayne, and thanks to all our finalists. congratulations to carter. he has what it takes! we'll be right back with sofia vergara. which guy is more handsome?

which one is cooler? which guy gives a better hug? which one of these guys, truck-guy or car-guy, is more sneaky? which one of these two guys would you rather have date your daughter? can a truck change perceptions? this one can. the all-new chevy colorado. motor trend's 2015 truck of the year. watch the films at youknowyouwantatruck.com ♪ at devry university we can to finishelp...ge by maximizing qualifying transfer credits, so you can graduate sooner. all you need... is a good reason to finish now. get started at devry.edu ia cause to support the pover 65 million people who may need the trusted protection of depend underwear. show them they're not alone. and show off a pair of depend. get a free sample at underwareness.com ♪

♪ ♪ let's spark the fire. use your mastercard with apple pay okay handbag out there...surprise!! and you could get a priceless surprise. woah!! who's next? four!! from golf experiences to concert tickets. ♪ so much cooler when you do it do it do it. ♪ ♪ let's spark the fire. even the chance to meet gwen stefani. ♪ let's spark the fire. cool hair ah! haha priceless. ♪ everybody let's go!

if yand you're talking toevere rheumyour rheumatologiste me, about a biologic... this is humira. this is humira helping to relieve my pain and protect my joints from further damage. this is humira giving me new perspective. doctors have been prescribing humira for ten years. humira works for many adults. it targets and helps to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to ra symptoms. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections,

or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. talk to your doctor and visit humira.com this is humira at work - whatd'ya get? - whatd'ya get? oh, whatd'ya get, dude? whatd'ya get? what did you get? i'm stuck - what'd he get private? - what'd he get? woo hoo! whatd'ya get? what is it? what is it? what is it?

oh c'mon mate, open it already! i can't wait! oooooooooh! dude. that there's the guy who gets his salsa from new york city. new york city?! [ male announcer ] only pace has that big, bold kick. anything else just ain't right. pace. grab the southwest by the bottle.

>> jimmy: hello again, friends. tonight from the critically acclaimed movie "whiplash," the great j.k. simmons is here. and tomorrow night, join us with ryan seacrest, rebecca romijn, and music from vintage trouble. our first guest tonight is an emmy and golden globe-nominated actress who came to this country as part of a very secretive beautiful people exchange program. she plays gloria pritchett on "modern family" which airs here on abc wednesday nights at 9:00. please say hello to sofia vergara. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, guillermo! >> jimmy: i want you to know that guillermo spent four hours moussing his hair to get it perfect for you.

>> good job, good job. not you. no, just -- >> jimmy: i didn't know that you went through the official process of becoming an american citizen. that's good news. [ cheers and applause ] >> well -- you thought i was here illegal? >> jimmy: well, you know, you can be here with a work visa. >> yeah. okay, yeah. but i mean, i couldn't be legal and showing my face on national tv. it would have to be low key. >> jimmy: did they make you go through all the hoops and all that stuff? >> well, yes, they make you, because they have to make sure that you deserve to be part of the country. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, they give you -- i mean, the most interesting thing for me was, they give you, like, 100 questions that you have to learn. >> jimmy: right. >> and then they give you, like, a quiz, like a test.

and then you swear that you are going to fight for the united states and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are planning to fight for the united states? >> i'm ready. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't think there would be any fights if you were involved. >> but it's -- you know, it's very emotional moment for me. >> jimmy: i bet. >> it took me a lot of time to get my residency, though i was working here for a long time. but it was fun. and i got all my questions perfect. >> jimmy: you did? you got 100% on the test? >> yes, all 100. [ cheers and applause ] and they make you do the swear of the -- oh the -- >> jimmy: the thing, yeah. >> of the thing. >> jimmy: maybe not all the questions that you got right. >> i got all the questions. and it was the swearing of the thing, you don't have to memorize or anything. >> jimmy: you don't? >> you just -- you just repeat and it would be like, you know, like, i did it really fast so he didn't know if i was doing it

right. >> jimmy: that's the way to go. >> the united states and -- you know. >> jimmy: i'm glad you got in. i think there would have been a riot had you been rejected. i think -- at that point, we probably would have overthrown the government. [ laughter ] >> no. it went all well. >> jimmy: did you celebrate traditional american thanksgiving? >> yes, of course. with my son, my son cooks amazing. >> jimmy: he does? >> yes, he's 23 now but he's been cooking the turkey, like, from his 15th. >> jimmy: wow. >> now he's getting really good at it. it was fantastic. ill had a lot of family, my niece, friends that didn't have work to go and -- >> jimmy: you always have a big family type of thing no matter where you go. and there's usually dancing at the end. is there dancing at the end of thanksgiving? >> dancing at the end of everything. >> jimmy: there is? >> yeah, in latin america, you know, that's how we show that we're happy and excited and sad, i mean, everything ends up with some good dancing. >> jimmy: even funerals and hospital visits?

>> if it's necessary, yeah, why not? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you recently met a person who i understand is one of your idols -- >> who? >> jimmy: i don't -- you tell me, i guess. sophia loren. >> oh, yes. it was insane. you know, i've always been very attracted -- not attracted. >> jimmy: admired her. >> admired. it's always been my idol, sophia loren, since i was a little girl, and i finally got to meet her. >> jimmy: were you named after her? >> no, i wasn't named after her, but i love that i had that name, because in the colombia, it wasn't a popular name. i'm 42, it was 42 years ago, 30 something years ago. it wasn't. the only one that was called sophia was my great aunt. they had named me after her, my mother is also sophia. and i know sophia from "the golden girls." so, to me, everybody was, like, sophia was old.

and then i met, like, i found out who sophia loren was and i loved since then my name. >> jimmy: this is a photograph. >> it's awful. i hate it. >> jimmy: this is -- well, i will say -- >> this is what happened to me. >> jimmy: it looks like there are cardboard cutouts of -- >> it looks like i went to madame tussauds -- >> jimmy: here's another one. >> i was so excited. and then this is the pictures that i get. i'm going to photo shop them or something. >> jimmy: yeah, it's not -- >> the lighting was really off and i was, like, shy, i got star struck. i was pretending, like, we're doing a beautiful homage to her and i presented a clip of her life, so for me, it was like -- i was like -- >> jimmy: and she didn't care? >> yes, she cared. she thanked me and everything.

but i was so -- i didn't want to bother her with the picture, but i wanted the picture. so i saw they were taking pictures and i ran there. it was like -- this is all i got. me with my -- >> jimmy: well, if anybody's with so fee ya right now, please tell her, the other sofia would like a better picture than this. sofia vergara, she's on "modern family." we'll be right back. t. we did it! ♪ it is official, we gave the people what they wanted. the nation's strongest lte signal. this is a big deal! soak it in! just let it wash over you like a warm bath.

that's all i crave.e that's where this comes in. only nicorette gum has patented dual-coated technology for great taste. plus nicorette gum gives you intense craving relief. and that helps put my craving in its place. that's why i only choose nicorette. subway is celebrating you. customer appreciation is back. enjoy two favorites for $2 each. the six-inch meatball marinara and the cold cut combo. all that for just $2? yep, it's our way of saying thanks. subway. eat fresh. - whatd'ya get? - whatd'ya get? oh, whatd'ya get, dude? whatd'ya get? what did you get? i'm stuck

- what'd he get private? - what'd he get? woo hoo! whatd'ya get? what is it? what is it? what is it? oh c'mon mate, open it already! i can't wait! oooooooooh! dude. [ shutter clicks ] hi there! [ laughs ] -i'm flo! -i know! i'm going to get you your rental car. this is so ridiculous. we're going to manage your entire repair process from paperwork to pickup, okay, little tiny baby? your car is ready, and your repairs are guaranteed for as long as you own it. the progressive service center -- a real place, where we really manage your claim from start to finish. really. ♪ easy as easy can be bye!

with a favorite book is nice. but i think women would rather curl up with their favorite man. but here's the thing: about half of men over 40 have some degree of erectile dysfunction. well, viagra helps guys with ed get and keep an erection. and remember, you only take it when you need it. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away

if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. ask your doctor about viagra.

>> you should do mother and daughter tattoos, like two halves of a heart. >> a moon and some stars. >> or like a bird and a rifle. >> oh, my gosh, let's do that. let's get matching tattoos. i want to do that with you. >> you do? >> yeah! it could be our special thing that we have for the rest of our lives, just as, no matter where we go or what we do, when people ask us about our tattoos, we can say they're from the best night of our lives together. >> that is so sweet. >> i mean it.

i want to do it with you, will you? >> i can't believe this, but i will. i will. i will because i love you. i love you. i love you. >> they also have piercings. >> enough. >> jimmy: sofia vergara on "modern family." wednesday nights at 9:00 here on abc. also, i want to mention that you have your own line of jewelry now. >> i know, i'm very excited because it was something i wanted to do for a long time and i wear it all the time. you like? i'll give you for your wife. >> jimmy: that would be very nice. >> you can give her all this for christmas. it's very affordable. it's from kay jewelers. i designed a line with them that is a little bit -- we call it the so sofia line, it has a little bit of movement and -- >> jimmy: send some to sophia loren.

>> no, i'm not going to send her that. she'll think that i'm talking stalking her. [ laughter ] if you ever meet her, tell her. >> jimmy: i will. and that goes for everyone that's watching. by the way, we designed -- i don't know if you are taking submissions for your jewelry line, but we came up with something -- >> let me see. >> jimmy: this is something that i think would be great. you can sell this. get a shot of this. it says "my eyes are up here." [ applause ] >> but not today with this outfit i brought. >> jimmy: yeah, no, no. it can be when you are showing cleavage, you can put this on. >> but that's not from kay jewelers. >> jimmy: no, but i'm saying, give it too the people at kay jewel earls -- >> is it going to fall apart if i grab it? >> jimmy: yes, it is. [ laughter ] no, i think it's already. it can be a tiara or something like that. who knows? there you go. isn't that beautiful? wow. [ cheers and applause ] put that in your jewelry line. >> i should have had this when i

was younger. now that i'm old, i want them to look. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. all right. it's very good to see you. have a very happy holiday. you're not jewish, are you? sofia vergara. "modern family" wednesday nights at 9:00 on abc and her jewelry line at kay jewelers. we'll be right back with j.k. simmons.

♪ have a cuervo. have a sensitive side. just don't have any regrets. cuervo. have a story.

♪

if you're like me, there's nothing you enjoy more than hopping up on a couch, destroying a few pillows and chewing on a good shoe. so this new nest dropcam... is a serious buzzkill. it's always watching so people can keep an eye on me when they're away. and even chime in with their inane reprimands. "henry, off! bad boy!" who's to say who's a bad boy and who's not. seems so subjective if you ask me. nest dropcam. welcome to a more thoughtful home. ♪ [instrumental music]

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. our next guest is an excellent actor whose roles include j. jonah jamison, the dad in "juno" and the voice of yellow in the m&m commercials. on monday, he won best supporting actor at the new york film critics circle awards for his performance in "whiplash." >> why don't you suppose i just hurl a chair at your head. >> i don't know. >> sure, you do. >> temper? >> were you rushing or were you dragging? >> i don't know. >> start counting. look at me. >> one, two, three, four. one, two, three, four. >> now. was i rushing or was i dragging?

>> i don't know. >> jimmy: "whiplash" is in select theaters now. please welcome j.k. simmons. [ cheers and applause ] the ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? i have to be honest, after watching this movie, which is fantastic and "oz" and "spider-man," i'm scared of you. is that what you want? >> that's what i try to inspire everywhere i go. it doesn't work at home with my children. >> jimmy: they're not scared of you? have they seen this movie? >> yeah. and even that didn't work. >> jimmy: wow. you'd think -- >> my daughter was hesitant to see it. we had a big debate if my 13-year-old should see it. we decided it would be okay. i said, well, you're going to get the see the movie, and she went -- i don't think i want to see that movie. >> jimmy: how did you get involved in this movie?

>> jason wrightman, who is -- referred to me off and on as his muse -- >> jimmy: oh, nice. >> moderately disturbing. but i've been in all of his films, you know, medium sized or little parts and he suggested me to damian and damian was foolish enough to think that that was a good idea. >> jimmy: what a good movie this is. >> thank you. >> jimmy: really terrific. the performances are unbelievable. miles teller does a great job in it. you play, for those that don't know, a band director. is that the proper way? very muscular. we didn't have band directors with your muscularity when i was a kid. >> thank you for pointing that out. >> jimmy: was that part of the -- just, well, what are you going to do? >> just part of my natural awesomeness. >> jimmy: yes. >> yeah, i mean, it was something that, again, damian and i talked about. we made a short film a year before we did the feature and we talked about, you know, me

wanting to be kind of an intimidating character and that was part of it. >> jimmy: were you in band? >> ah, i was not. i was in choir. >> jimmy: you were in choir, really? i can't imagine you in the choir. >> yes. >> jimmy: well. i played the clarinet and now i feel like a tough guy compared to you in the choir. >> i was a bass baritone, dude. >> jimmy: we had two brand directors growing up. cleto and i were in the band together and they were both very intimidating people. really in different ways. one was a woman and one was this giant guy named mr. mcmosley and he had -- his hair went up to the ceiling. >> sounds like a "saturday night live" sketch so far. >> jimmy: he once said to me, and i quote, kimmel, i'm going to put my foot up your ass. and then he threw his keys at me. true story, right, cleo? >> yes. >> jimmy: you were much scarier than he was. just an awful character. like, a really great film. i really enjoyed it. how long you have lived here in l.a.? you're a new york guy? >> well, 20 years in new york. i'm from the midwest. i was in new york for 20 years.

we've been out here for 11 years now. >> jimmy: 11 years. you feel like you're a local now? >> yeah, no. >> jimmy: not at all? you don't -- >> totally feel like a tourist out here. >> jimmy: you don't seem like an l.a. kind of guy. do you like it here? >> no, i love it, except for the palm trees. i love l.a. >> jimmy: what a thing to have a problem with. why the palm trees specifically? >> exactly. why the palm trees? what is its purpose on earth? it bears no fruit. it provides no shade. [ laughter ] it looks like a sort of used q-tip. it drops those gigantic frawns that have sharp edges that maim people's dogs and children. i mean, why have -- and it's not even indigenous to southern california. >> jimmy: they shipped those in? >> they brought them in on purpose. >> jimmy: we don't have coconuts. they have dates on palm trees in palm springs area. >> yes. imported from somewhere where they actually grow. >> jimmy: you're right. we should chop down the palm trees. [ cheers and applause ]

it could be your legacy. >> it's going to start trending. >> jimmy: what is your position on fro-yo? [ laughter ] >> moderately anti. i don't have a big problem with it. it's not up there with the palm tree. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you get -- when you are in this film, great music, this kind of jazz band, swing type of thing. did you get involved in that? were you involved in that kind of music and interested before hand? >> i wasn't really a jazz guy. i studied music actually in college, but like, class call and i did rock and roll and stuff before then. i really learned a lot about jazz and actually last week, week before last, got to conduct a, you know, big time jazz band at catalina jazz club on hollywood boulevard. >> jimmy: you did? >> because i can pretend that i know what i'm doing. >> jimmy: yeah, right. in the movie, you are very kind of relaxed compared to most band

directors. not like one of these things. you are kind of dancing in front of them and yelling at them. >> yeah, than to me was part of the jazz thing. there's a wide range of how jazz band leaders, you know, conduct. from, you know, guys that are very animated to guys that just stand there and tap their toe. >> jimmy: you've been in a million -- not literally a million, but many movies and tv shows. what do people know you from the most on the street? >> partly geographically, when i'm in new york, i get a lot of, yo, oz! >> jimmy: really? >> or "law and order." that was a new york show. or they just call my character name. >> jimmy: do they appreciate that? >> no, they don't. it scares them. i did that -- i thought it would be hilarious. i thought they would watch the show. >> jimmy: you're a scary guy. you are scary in general. yes. i'm scared still. even from the beginning of the thing.

it's okay to be scary if you really are scary on the inside. [ laughter ] >> it's good. well, this is working out great. >> jimmy: i tell you what. congratulations on winning the best supporting actor award there. [ cheers and applause ] well deserved. go see this movie, it's called "whiplash." it is in select theaters now. j.k. simmons, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪ ah, ♪ h it. ♪ push it. ♪ p...push it real good! ♪ ♪ ow! ♪ oooh baby baby...baby baby. if you're salt-n-pepa, you tell people to push it. ♪ push it real good. it's what you do. ♪ ah. push it. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do.

♪ ah. push it. i'm pushing. i'm pushing it real good!

♪ >> jimmy: so many people to thank. sofia vergara, j.k. simmons, "do you have what it takes" and apologize to matt damon. we did run out of time. tomorrow night, ryan seacrest, rebecca romijn and music from vintage trouble. "nightline" is next. thanks for watching. good night. ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight -- >> the greatest racial disparity. the city of milwaukee is getting shot and killed. hello. >> the outspoken police chief who went viral. and tension with cops in the cross fire and those who are meant to protect. we are hitting the streets of milwaukee to see how it goes down. plus, iggy azalea, ariana grande. and joining the shower singer on hig big time fame. and angelina under attack. she is a do-gooder, who showed her dark side a