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but they live so far away. i've been thinking about moving in with my daughter and her family. it's been pretty tough since jack passed away. it's a good thing you had life insurance through the colonial penn program. you're right. it was affordable, and we were guaranteed acceptance. guaranteed acceptance? it means you can't be turned down because of your health. you don't have to take a physical or answer any health questions. they don't care about your aches and pains. well, how do you know? did you speak to alex trebek? because i have a policy myself. it costs just $9.95 a month per unit. it's perfect for my budget. my rate will never go up. and my coverage will never go down because of my age. affordable coverage and guaranteed acceptance? we should give them a call. do you want to help protect your loved ones from the burden of final expenses? if you're between 50 and 85, you can get quality insurance that does not require any health questions or a medical exam.

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♪ ah, you take one down you pass it around ♪ ♪ 91 bottles of beer on the wall ♪ yeah, whoo-hoo-hoo! all right, now, let's get these groceries on the bo-- boat? boat? no. boat?! bo-o-o-o-o-o-o-- ♪ -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com you know, if they keep making computers smarter then it's only a matter of time before the computers realize they're smarter than us and take over. jules we have to do something. definitely!

[ sighs ] [ door opens ] hmm... hmm... hey, guys. how'd it go? i asked the kid to help me clean out my garage i do all the work and he noses around, looking for vintage collectibles. laurie check it out -- saddle. we can mount this on a tripod make, like, a funky western stool [chuckles] or we could make, like funky western-style trash. honey, don't get all artsy-fartsy on me. you know i'm gonna go to target for everything. i'm redoing my condo, and trav's helping me. [ chuckling ] wait, you're helping her redecorate her condo? that's a guaranteed young-couple-fight scenario. i'm getting out of here before somebody throws a lamp. bye, dad. bye. love you. jules, your dad seems like he's doing really great. he is -- you know, when he was first diagnosed with alzheimer's a year ago i was so nervous, but chick hasn't changed a bit. [ panting ] b-- bobby come home! boat gone! slow down, honey. what'd you say? boat. gone. someone stole my boat!

they got my boat, and they got my stuff. oh, my stu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ff! [ sighs ] i need a drink. tough day? no. why? [ sighs ] make it a double. i have this new supervisor at work and i can't seem to win his respect. thought the burt reynolds look would do it but i put it on upside down. [ rip ] ow! mm! until i can win him over, i can't get any big accounts, but it's like this guy's on a different level than me. sounds like a perfect candidate for the neg. what's the neg? it's a pickup technique where you flip the power dynamic with a girl who's out of your league. i used to teach a seminar about how to pick up chicks. i called it "picking up chicks with grayson." i hope the seminar was less lame than the title. i call that "ripping on d-bags with ellie." if you know how i can turn things around with my boss you have to tell me.

i don't teach the dark arts anymore. i hung up my leather bracelet and single-hoop earring long ago. grayson, i need this. you may be my only hope. show me your ways. very well. return to this spot when the sun sets below the horizon and the creatures of the night take flight. so... like 7:00, 7:15? 7:30? yeah. okay. well, i'm proud of us. everyone said that we would fight picking out stuff for my apartment, but we were perfect. [ chuckles ] definitely better than that amateur couple fighting in housewares -- i mean, over dish towels? choose your battles, people. i know. other than in a cartoon, i don't think i've ever seen someone get hit over the head with a frying pan -- pow! i love that we totally agree about everything. i know, right? [ exhales deeply ] ooh. what, you're gonna put that there? where else would i put it? maybe somewhere that doesn't make me want to throw up. a low-priority case? that was my home! yeah, i lived on a boat in a parking lot. laugh it up, boys.

[ telephone beeps ] dang. the cops ain't gonna be any help. a missing boat's the kind of case that blacktop and gumshoe would tackle. when bobby and i were married, we used to solve crimes. now, you're never gonna guess why i was called blacktop. both: you have black hair. i have black hair! well -- yeah, and i was gumshoe because i stepped on gum a lot. and together we solved the mystery of who was eating our oranges. it was a monkey who escaped from the zoo. and we solved the mystery of who was stealing our newspaper. the monkey again? turns out, we didn't have a subscription. [ chuckles ] how did they not do that case on "law & order"? gumshoe, i have a mystery for you. now that your boat's gone where you gonna live? ooh, i haven't thought about that. maybe i could, uh, sleep in my friend bitch-slap's car, or i could just make a tent from a stick and a bed sheet. oh, bobby, that's crazy. you can stay with us. uh, here? [ chuckles ] i don't know, bobby. a bed-sheet tent sounds pretty cool. come on, you're staying with us. aww! thanks, jules! hey! come on, boys! new digs! [ barks ]

yeah! [ laughing ] i got you. impressing a superior male is no different than hitting on a chick who's out of your league. you can use subtle, subconscious cues to give you the upper hand. [ lower-pitched voice ] lowering your voice half an octave conveys confidence a gentle, reassuring touch to the shoulder disarms your prey and then... ...the neg -- an insult disguised as a compliment that lowers the self-esteem of your prey, making them want to impress you. watch. hey, there. hey. that's a great outfit. most women would be worried they'd look desperate in that thing. let's get out of here. sorry, i've got to tend to the bar. is there a back room we can use? i said sorry. [ chuckles ]

[ chuckling ] oh, yes! i am gonna take mr. peterson to the back room! in a -- in a business sense. not for sex. so, bobby's been here what, eight hours? how do you think it's going? well, i think it's been interesting. aww. these poor little guys must miss their mama. this is the only way i can get them to eat. bobby's a very nurturing bitch. all right, the pups had their morning yum-yums. now it's my turn. bobby, do you need some help there? [ laughs ] come on, jules. i'm an adult. think i can pour my own cereal. it's like watching an intelligent monkey. a regular monkey. there's water coming from the ceiling. aw, dog travis! he must have forgotten how to turn off the faucet. okay, i'm definitely gonna find that boat. i'm angela and i quit smoking with chantix. my children always wanted me to quit smoking but i resigned myself to the fact

that it wasn't going to work. but chantix helped me do it. along with support, chantix (varenicline) is proven to help people quit smoking. it gave me the power to overcome the urge to smoke. some people had changes in behavior, thinking or mood hostility, agitation, depressed mood and suicidal thoughts or actions while taking or after stopping chantix. some people had seizures while taking chantix. if you have any of these stop chantix and call your doctor right away. tell your doctor about any history of mental health problems, which could get worse while taking chantix or history of seizures. don't take chantix if you've had a serious allergic or skin reaction to it. if you develop these stop chantix and see your doctor right away as some can be life-threatening. tell your doctor if you have a history of heart or blood vessel problems or develop new or worse symptoms. get medical help right away if you have symptoms of a heart attack or stroke. decrease alcohol use while taking chantix. use caution when driving or operating machinery. common side effects include nausea trouble sleeping and unusual dreams. i'm a non-smoker. ask your doctor if chantix is right for you. lips are your thinnest skin. they need special attention, day and night. new chapstick dual-ended hydration lock