>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kathy griffin. from espn, chris fowler and kirk herbstreit. and music from priory. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay right where you are, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. hi, everybody. well, that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching at home. thank you for coming here. it's very -- very good to see you. well, i thank you for that. we have what i think -- i think

we have a fun idea tonight. something that i believe will pair nicely with the holiday season. from time to time, we send my cousin sal out into the world to mess with people and he plays pranks and he's very good at them. tonight, we decided to use sal's unique powers for good instead of evil. now, we still have hidden cameras. tonight, we're going to use them to reward people for doing good deeds. so, i'll explain. let's bring in cousin sal there he is. there's cousin sal. and our friend gabriel, who -- you can see, is dressed as an elf. are you dressed as an elf, or is this your everyday attire? >> every day. >> every day he dresses like this. so, sal is going to go out to hollywood boulevard and do what, exactly? >> jimmy, i'm going to ask people to watch gabriel while i run an errand. >> jimmy: okay, so -- [ laughter ] >> little closed captioning for you. >> jimmy: i see. you're going to ask people if they keep an eye on gabriel. guillermo, what is your role in this, exactly?

>> nothing, nothing. >> jimmy: why are you standing there? move over. >> all right. >> jimmy: right, okay, perfect. all right, very good. all right now, have you been drinking tonight, guillermo? >> yeah, you know i have. >> jimmy: you have. and this is the good deed part of it. we're going to give the person who agrees to watch gabriel $50 for every minute they watch him. sal's going to stick them with the elf and then leave. so why don't you guys go out to hollywood boulevard and -- all right. there they go. all right. [ applause ] off they go to find one kind and generous person to agree to baby-sit an elf. why would someone agree to watch an adult man in an elf costume? the last time we did this, sal pretended to be a homeless person, asking people at the gas station if he could wash their windshield, and for every dollar he tipped them, we gave them $100 back. it was fun.

are they ready now? here we go. send them out. all right. >> hi, ma'am. >> hello. >> will you do me a favor. will you watch him? i have to go get something? will you watch him for a little bit? >> no, i can't. >> just watch him, please. please watch him. please? because i have to go. >> i can't do that. >> i have to go. >> jimmy: all right. well, that -- all right, that definitely did not work. i guess he's in a hurry or something. have them hide in the lobby to reset and we'll try it again. meanwhile, a nor'easter is hitting the east coast right now. why do we say nor'easter instead of northeaster, i don't know. is it easier that way? i don't think so. the only people who should be allowed to say nor'easter are people who make a living catching and/or processing cod. the weather channel is calling it winter storm damon, after matt damon, so, if anything bad happens -- it's on him. [ applause ] . more than 900 flights have been

canceled as a result of damon. it's so crazy, how the weather -- it is always changing. it's like we have no control over it whatsoever. authorities are urging people -- this is serious -- to get under the bed and stay there. until further notice, okay? all right. are they ready? all right, let's check in with sal and his elf. okay, good. all right. [ laughter ] all right. >> will you do me a huge favor? will you watch my friend for a minute? can you watch him? >> yeah. >> i'll be right back. >> jimmy: okay. >> hi. >> what's your name? >> gabriel. >> gabriel. >> what's your name? >> jimmy: i think that kid's a little nervous. sal's going to hide in the lobby. let's keep them on the corner of the screen so we can watch to see how long they will baby-sit an elf and -- $50 a minute. this could go on for awhile.

meanwhile, there's another storm, a media storm in new york, where prince william and his wife kate are visiting for the first time ever. hard to believe two of the most famous and well-traveled dignitaries in the world have never been to the applebee's in times square. last night, the royal couple went to the cavaliers/nets game in brooklyn, where they met another very famous couple, beyonce and jay-z were there. jay-z forgot to curtesy, which is a major faux pas. jay-z, i love your work. thanks, prince william. i love whatever it is you do, too. they sat right on the court. that's dikembe mutombo sharing popcorn with the guy in back of them. as soon as the prince and duchess showed up for the game, just after halftime, lebron james went nuts, which, he took over. to make it clear who the real king is and look at them, they're like, i have no idea what just happened. but cheerio, right? [ applause ] are the people still watching

the elf? good. this is like a live-action version of "elf on a shelf" here. [ laughter ] this is incredible. this is from toronto. before their game on friday, the toronto raptors held an event to honor nelson mandela on the first anniversary of his death. many famous athletes were there to pay tribute to mandela's memory including magic johnson, charles barkley and map maple leafs goaltender jonathan bernier, with what might be the dumbest sports moment of 2013. >> just want to ask you, nelson mandela, one of the most significant, historic figures of the 21st century. when did you learn of him? >> well, obviously, growing up, he's one of the most known athletes in the world. a lot of impact in any kind of sport that he did and that i -- even playing hockey, everyone knows him, right, from being the

type of person that he was off the ice and on the ice and it's unfortunate that he passed away a year ago, but he changed a lot while he was with us and he's a tremendous guy. >> jimmy: i especially enjoyed his time off the ice. those were his prime years off the ice. [ applause ] so, bernier apologized for this today, he said everyone makes mistakes. well -- not mistakes like this, but yes. kind of mistakes that could end up -- you could wind up being the mayor of toronto with a mistake like that. president obama -- [ applause ] just learned something new. obama became the first president to write a computer program. oh, look. what's going on? at the white house yesterday, they kicked off computer science education week. students from a school in newark were on hand to give tutorials on computer code and obama sat down and wrote one.

the program he wrote was not very complex. all his program does is draw a box, which he's hoping he can crawl into and hide in for the rest of his term. here is the president working on his program with a group of kids. >> when you press one -- >> oh. nice job. >> jimmy: that's what they should have done on the obamacare website. let's check back in and listen in, what's happening with our elf watchers, because it has been awhile here. oh. oh, that's cute. >> your friend's taking a long time here. >> he should be back, though. he always forgets things. >> jimmy: starting to get a little antsy, i guess. put them back in the corner of the screen. if they start to leave, we should break right in, okay? every year, americans spend

millions of dollars, i don't know how many millions, but a lot of millions on christmas gifts for their pets, which, to me -- that makes no sense to me. pets don't want gifts. they want food, they want to be petted, they want water and they want maybe a nice leg to hump every once in awhile. but that's it. it's not like they get you anything for christmas. your pet doesn't know it's christmas. in fact, your pet doesn't even know it's a pet, so -- giving your cat a sweater is about as useful as giving your microwave a hat. [ laughter ] pets don't celebrate holidays. they just don't. they don't like to dress up. in fact, this holiday season, a group of pets, a very angry group of pets has made a public service announcement that i think deserves some consideration. from the owners who claim to love them. >> dear humans, you've got the holiday spirit. we get it. but we don't. so please. don't drag us into your twisted pagan ritual by dressing us in ridiculous, uncomfortable and humiliating outfits. do we look holiday cheerful to

you? is this a cheerful face? we're not reindeer. if you wanted a reindeer, maybe you should have bought a freaking reindeer. we don't care whether you celebrate christmas, hanukkah or kwanzaa. stop dressing us up. or we'll hump your presents. [ laughter ] brought to you by pets against people. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: elf is still being watched. let's check in with cousin sal. cousin sal, how long have they been -- are you timing this? how long have they been waiting? >> yes, seven minutes now. >> jimmy: $350? >> $35,000, i think. i don't know. >> jimmy: let's go to the street and hear what's happening if we can, there, with our people. all right. >> yeah, he went inside here, he

should be back, it's not that far from here, inside the building. >> you want to try to go in and wait for him? >> i don't want to do that by myself. ah! ah! >> jimmy: for him, that's like a grizzly bear walking by. [ laughter ] all right. all right. well, they're still there. amazon is working on a new way to deliver the stuff we order online, by bike. in new york, amazon is reportedly planning to experiment with bike messengers as part of a new service called amazon prime now. the way it works is, amazon gives your package to a bike messenger and if he doesn't get hit by a taxi, he brings it to you immediately. this is exciting, amazon is also experimenting with a new service that will deliver your baby in three hours or less. i like the bike idea. what happens if you go on amazon

and order a bike? do they bring the bike on the bike? or do they ride your bike to you and then walk back on their -- they're going to need to figure that out. this is the time of year when the big broadcast networks air all the classic holiday specials. most of these specials have been around for a very long time. so, we decided to take a crack at updating them. last night, we premiered a version of rudolph the red nosed reindeer with audio from the maury povich show. we put audio from that with the video from rudolph. tonight, we have a cartoon hybrid that combines -- you remember the guy who announced i'm not gay no more in front of everyone at a church last month? well, we took audio from that and paired it with scenes from frosty the snowman and the result is our christmas gift to you. >> the lord tonight has set you free. turn around and tell those people. >> i'm not gay no more. i am delivered! i don't like men no more. i said i like women.

women, women, women. i said women. i would not date a man. i would not carry a purse. i would not put on makeup. i will -- i will love a woman. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: flower on your hat. he'll be gay again next year. all right, god bless these people, they are still out there, elf sitting and waiting for cousin sal, who is in our lobby area. i think -- how long has it been now? >> it's about ten minutes. is there a mercy rule? >> jimmy: you should go out there and relieve them before we go to a commercial and potentially lose them. sal is on his way to give our unsuspecting do-gooders their reward. we're going to pay them $50 a minute, which is what sitters get nowadays, i guess. it's really -- it's crazy. guillermo, do you pay your sitter that much? >> no, 20.

>> jimmy: $20 a minute? >> no, an hour. >> jimmy: oh, an hour. you have a sitter? >> yes. for my -- for my son. >> jimmy: for your son. very good. all right, now, okay, sal is in position. okay. all right. all right. there he is. okay. >> there he is! >> oh, thank you. thank you so much for helping me out. >> i didn't know if you were going to come back. >> i know, i came back. not only did i come back, for helping me, i'm going to help you. i'm going to give you $500. that's $50 a minute. you watched this guy for ten minutes. god bless you. courtesy of "jimmy kimmel live," part of our good deeds program. say thank you, jimmy. happy holidays. >> happy holidays! >> you did it! >> jimmy: look at that. all right. thanks, guys. they're best friends now, i guess. tonight on the show, we have a good show. we have music from priory. chris fowler and kirk herbstreit are here. and we'll be right back with

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hello there,

friends. tonight, two very sporty gentleman who know everything there is to know about the upcoming college football playoffs. from espn, chris fowler and kirk herbstreit are here. and then, from portland, oregon, this is their e.p. it's called "weekend." priory from the at&t stage. tomorrow night, we have marisa tomei and music from the smashing pumpkins. that's going to be a lot for me to pronounce tomorrow. and on thursday, laura dern and blake shelton will be here. join us then. during her long and much-celebrated career, our first guest tonight has been the recipient of two emmy awards, a guinness world record, a grammy award and more than two dozen restraining orders from anderson cooper. but despite that, they will share a stage again for "new year's eve live with anderson cooper and kathy griffin." it airs new year's eve on cnn. please welcome kathy griffin. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome.

>> hello, guillermo. hello, james. >> jimmy: how's everything? >> what are you doing new year's eve? >> jimmy: new year's eve, i'll be -- >> watching -- >> jimmy: i will watch you, of course i will watch you. >> really? that's interesting. because i noticed last friday on this so-called show, you had a lady named ryan seacrest sitting in this chair. [ laughter ] >> i thought we were done with that, james. i thought we were done with that fight. i thought anderson and i finally won you over. we have a true alternative to ryan and her nonsense and her big-budget shows and stagery and probably being in some glass popemobile while anderson and i are out there freezing our balls off on a riser next to univision. >> jimmy: well, the truth of the matter -- i'll be watching carson daly that night. i watch everything. i have many televisions, as you know. you've been to my home. you know i have televisions --

>> i understand you're not human anymore. you're just a living television viewer. but i want you to know, i go to great lengths to get your viewership with anderson cooper and i will try this year again to get him fired. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: for those who don't watch, it is -- i have to say, it sounds like that's a joke. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: it sounds like you're joking. but you really aren't joking. >> i'm on a mission. >> jimmy: this is a terrible decision for anderson cooper to make every year. he should not be a part of this show with you. >> it should be kathy griffin and poppy harlow or jake tapper or wolf. but no, anderson falls for it every year and every year i try to outdo myself and in fact harm him in some way at least emotionally. >> jimmy: it's been eight years now. >> yes, eight years and i've done everything from try to simulate an oral act. >> jimmy: on? >> on him. >> jimmy: on anderson cooper. >> although he was wearing so many layers of ralph lauren suits, he was fine.

trust me. he actually shows up to the riser in a designer suit. >> jimmy: what is he supposed to wear? shorts? >> he's a dumb male model. he doesn't know what he's doing. and i do all the heavy lifting. and then one year, i actually -- i actually took $5,000 of my own money, went to the bank, got 5,000 singles, i wanted to make it rain. i thought that was genius. >> jimmy: where? in times square? >> what? right? and then, like, in the commercial break they saw me take out all this money and then they, the police officer, because for some reason, anderson actually has a police officer with him when i'm there at all times. whatever, drama. and so they stopped me and they said if i made it rain it would be dangerous to the 500,000 norwegians that are down there. it's never like real new yorkers. one year, i had to give the check back because i said the f-word live on the air globally. >> jimmy: did you really? >> it's true. i had to give the check back.

>> jimmy: you had to give your paycheck back to cnn? >> yes. >> jimmy: really? is that in your contact? >> the only contract that i do that for is for cnn because i really do love anderson. they have this thing is if you say the f-word on cnn, they don't have to pay you. and so i didn't care and i had a bunch of people dare me to say it anyway, so -- of course i did it and then, but i did make them give the check to the united way. i said, you can't just get away with not paying me at all. they gave it to a charity. or at least told me they did. i better call aaron burnett. >> jimmy: is there a list of words you're not allowed to say? >> well, they don't particularly like the f-word. last year, i was proud of myself because i snuck handcuffs onto the riser and i handcuffed myself to anderson and threw the key into the audience. >> jimmy: and anderson really -- [ applause ] anderson really didn't know -- he had no idea you were going to do that? >> no, in fact, he thought it was funny for 45 seconds.

an hour later, they had to actually -- in fact, the same police officer had to get, like, a jaws of life thing and i would not accept anything less than that, so -- >> jimmy: so he actually cut the -- >> yeah, they cut it right there. >> jimmy: wow, that's going to be great. do you think, like, i've got to top this this year? maybe i will stab anderson cooper at some point? >> stab him. or shank him, i could be crazy. there's a lot of things i can do. there's a lot of things i haven't done to him yet. that's the world of possibilities. >> jimmy: does he ever just said beforehand, like, hey, listen, don't do anything to me this year, please. >> oh, yeah. over the years -- first of all, i've gotten him beaten down like a pound dog in one of those commercials for the spca. he's like a shaky little poodle. when he sees me. just hose him down, he's all cold, wants to be adopted. i'm like, next. but -- yeah, he used to like actually rehearse and we used to have dinner and then he started

lying, like, i caught him lying, saying he's on vacation and then he's like in "the new york times" being photographed in front of my hotel. he avoids me at all costs and he comes up with some sort of idea, like, i'm working on a big story about, you know, a big tsunami and i'm like, yeah, like that happened. it's a battle. >> jimmy: i have to say, i have to hand it to anderson for continuing to do this year after year. because it is a no-win situation for him. >> i take that as a challenge. i feel like that you have now issued a challenge to me as a comedian and an artist to take him down this year in a way i have never before. >> jimmy: i would love for you to go crazy. absolutely. >> i will go crazy on anderson cooper. i will go crazy on him. >> jimmy: maybe you can come up with something specific that -- >> body part? >> jimmy: well -- that's not doing really something to him. >> what if i chop his arm off? "walking dead" is very popular. what if i'm like a walker and i

just do something in the brain and see if he still lives? people love that show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think now you're thinking, yeah, that's great. >> i'm an idea man. i can't apologize. >> jimmy: you are also going to be -- >> the host of "fashion police." >> jimmy: the sheriff of the "fashion police." >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: this is a job that was previously held -- >> yes. this was a job that was held by our dear friend joan rivers. i understand i have some very, very large shoes to fill. and so in her honor, i will not be holding back. i am giving no passes, i am going to let people have it. i'm going to bring the hammer down and you might want to up your game. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in what way? you mean dressing wise? >> in the way that i'm tired of the same suit every time. i get it. it's gucci, it fits well. yawn. give me some sparkle. give me a fig leaf, i mean, take a risk. don't just show up again looking nice-ish, i mean -- give me something. >> jimmy: i'm not good at that sort of thing.

>> but people want it. >> jimmy: they don't want it. >> they want to see you in an alexander mcqueen ball gown. [ cheers and applause ] that's your paycheck. they want it. >> jimmy: you know what i'm going to do? i'm going to pop up on new year's eve, i'm going to make out with anderson cooper right there on your show. kathy griffin is here. we'll be right back.

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>> jimmy: hello there. welcome back. with kathy griffin. she will be tormenting anderson cooper on cnn on new year's eve. and you -- i have to imagine this is a dream come true for you. you -- >> you mean the moment that everyone's talking about. >> jimmy: you were performing with britney spears. >> that's right. you heard me. britney spears. britney spears, the singer. we'll go with singer. anyway, she -- she has a show in vegas. and so i went and then i got to participate in the show and i will be honest, there were some warnings from team britney and one of them was, do not look her directly in the eyes. >> jimmy: no, for real? >> yes, which i heard from your team for years and i've always

ignored. [ laughter ] but i know her a little bit. you know her better than i do. i've met her since she was the naughty cheerleader -- >> jimmy: i don't think i know her. >> she's been here. >> jimmy: she has been here. but i don't feel like i know her at all. >> are we going there? because i don't know if anyone really knows her. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you spend any one-on-one time with her? >> i wanted to. she does a song in her show called "freak show" and she makes someone the victim, you crawl around. i got beyond the don't look in her eyes and i was determined to look in her eyes and it turns out they were pinwheels on fire. so, i did see them and i -- that's what it was. >> jimmy: you learned your lesson. >> i saw that thought. and it was -- but -- i wanted to talk with her and just say hi. they said, no, she can't. i'm just saying after the song, like, can i give her a hug, or just say, good to see you? there's a lot of nervous, like, no, not tonight.

can we show the clip? i'm very proud of this moment. >> jimmy: las vegas, nevada, go to the clip. okay, there's kathy griffin. right in the -- on the floor oh, with a leash. what -- that was your part? [ cheers and applause ] by the way, i just figured it out. >> what. >> jimmy: that is what you should do to anderson cooper on new year's eve. >> yes. >> jimmy: kathy griffin, everybody. >> jimmy kimmel, everybody. >> jimmy: "new year's eve live with anderson cooper and kathy griffin" on new year's eve on cnn. we'll be right back with my aunt chippy. stick around.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hi there, welcome back. chris fowler, kirk herbstreit and music from priory is on the way. but first, every now and then we have viewers write in to my aunt chippy for advice. and with the holidays coming fast, it seems that people

really need advice badly. so, we give it to them in this holiday edition of "dear aunt chippy." hi, happy holidays. it's aunt chippy. we've got a letter to read. dear aunt chippy. i recently lost my job and don't have much money to spend on gifts this year. i was thinking in order to save money, i would just get a stack of those gift cards they have at starbucks and not put any money on them and give those as gifts. pretty [ bleep ] brilliant idea, am i right? you're hot. robert. robert -- i don't care if you are screwing over your friends. as long as you think i'm hot -- it's okay by me. merry christmas. [ cheers and applause ] if you have a question for me, please e-mail me at dearauntchippy@gmail.com. >> jimmy: she never had a compliment before. that is very nice. we'll be right back with chris fowler and kirk herbstreit.

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hey! gue>>hump day! it is?? hummmp daaay! it's hump day! >>yeah! >>hey mike! mike mike mike mike mike! >>mike mike mike mike mike. hey! he knows! hey! guess what day it is! hey! camel! guess what day it is! >>it's not even wednesday. let it go, phil. if you're a camel, you put up with this all the time. it's what you do. (sigh) if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. ok... >> jimmy: on new year's day, when the rest of us are on the couch nursing hangovers, our

next guests will be hard at work kicking off the new college football playoff. it all starts at 5:00 p.m. eastern on espn. from "college gameday," please welcome chris fowler and kirk herbstreit. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, first of all, we're dressed exactly the same, which is weird. how are you guys doing? >> good. >> having an issue with his new year's eve plan. don't we? >> jimmy: oh, okay, because you guys -- >> you had kathy on, you were talking about new year's plans and we're like, there's some pretty good games on. >> college football games. >> jimmy: we're talking about midnight here. >> they'll go past midnight. >> jimmy: they will you guys -- then you get up early and work all day the next day. this must be the worst time of

the year for you. >> our new year's eve is different than kathy. she's flashing people and we're like studying our notes and going to bed at 9:00. >> exactly. >> jimmy: this is an interesting thing they're doing. it's playoff. not playoffs. i was told that with no uncertainty. and people are mad about it. even though they did it to kind of calm people down because people get upset, because it seemed to be randomly chosen and now people are still angry. >> it's college football. they are always going to be angry and upset. it's part of the sport. they're especially mad in you are a tcu or baylor fan. six teams are never going to fit into a four-team bracket. ohio state got in. those two teams did not get in and -- they're mad about it. >> here's the difference from college to the nfl. in college, it's subjective. you have a committee that's deciding who should go to the playoffs. in the nfl, there are rules. if you tie in the afc north, there's a set of rules. for who goes to the playoffs. in college football, it's up to the committee. and nobody knows what the committee is looking at.

is it the eye test, the metrics, so, people are very passionate and very angry and very opinionated. so, when you say good things about them, they love you, when you say bad things about it -- >> very personal. >> they take it personally. >> jimmy: they do. kirk, i was looking at your twitter and you got very upset because people call you a homer because you went to ohio state and when you talk positively about ohio state, people think oh, he's just saying that because he went there. >> yeah. what i've learned is, when i say things just, again, my job for 19 years has been watch games, say what i think, positive, negative about any team. i treat ohio state the same as any other team. what i've learned is, when i say things bad about ohio state or critical of ohio state, then i'm being professional. when i say something positive about ohio state, i'm a homer. so, it's -- it's like i can't win. so, you just say what you think. >> jimmy: you guys do this show live on college campuses in

front of thousands of -- seems to be mostly drunken fans. >> you watch, yeah. >> jimmy: i see what goes on. and creative, also, because they -- they go nuts, they dress up, they have these signs that are -- some of the signs are hilarious. >> there's a cat and mouse game between college kids who think they're clever and middle-aged people in our production truck on urban dictionary trying to figure out, is that offensive? should we pull that one down? we've seen plenty that get by. >> jimmy: they really do that? >> oh, yeah. >> we have police that are looking at the signs and trying to figure out -- what's that sign? >> jimmy: what's the best one you've seen? >> i did lose it. this might have been in the wake of 40-year-old virgin. there was a giant sign with a hand around a sign that said the shocker. honest. they weren't talking about an upset on the field. our sign police missed that one and i just -- it was all i could do to focus on the rest of the show.

the college kids, 1, middle-aged people with the urban dictionary, 0. it's not always naughty. sometimes it's just funny. >> jimmy: when you are on camera, are you aware of the madness that is going on behind your heads? >> so, you can relate to this as a host. you're always right. you don't have to have -- >> jimmy: finally, somebody -- >> exactly. [ applause ] exactly. fowler is our jimmy. so, fowler never has opinions about a lot of these teams. he is always the good guy. >> jimmy: i see. >> corso, myself, desmond, we have to have opinions, so people love us or hate us. so, when we sit here and we have to give picks or thoughts on teams, then they tend to sway depending on how we feel. chris just kind of rides the middle of the line and just kind of, like, waves to people and shakes hands and -- >> jimmy: smart. >> you should read my twitter. >> jimmy: people throw things at you sometimes.

>> we have a net now, jimmy. we do have a net. but before the net, we had -- we had beers, golf balls, radishes. >> corn. they threw corn at us in nebraska. >> corn pierced the net. >> jimmy: oh, really? in nebraska, i assume. >> you think it's funny. your audience is in front of you right here. our audience is behind us. >> jimmy: that's a mistake. >> you sit here and you talk, you look into these cameras. >> jimmy: i can dodge things. if i see them coming, i can go right around the desk. >> we have a full beer can that comes right over our net before we had a net. full beer can, unopened from 40 yards out, just thrown and it -- corso is right here, it explodes on the set. >> missed you. >> missed us. hit the back of the head -- >> jimmy: it's a hell of a sponsorship opportunity. >> exactly. >> we got off the air and the producer, great show, great show, are you out of your mind? we have to get a net tomorrow. >> jimmy: doing the show in helmets.

all right, so you're ready to tick some people off? can you make some predictions as to who you think -- >> well, preseason i picked florida state against alabama to play for the national championship. and they're both in the final four. ohio state -- >> jimmy: that's called boasting, right, chris? >> i don't want to say anything, but i was -- >> ohio state plays alabama. i think that game will be very, very close. >> you do realize four of the top five preseason teams are in the bracket. all that's missing is oklahoma. >> jimmy: do you think that's really going to be a close game or are you being a homer right now? >> i'm not a homer. see, there you go. there you go. [ applause ] >> i'll tell you what -- if it's -- if it's not a close game. if ohio state gets beaten down bad, i'm not saying it's going to happen, buckeye fans, then they're going to look like the wrong choice to get in the

bracket. if alabama beats them down. >> what if they win? >> that's going to make tcu and baylor fans mad. then it will look genius. >> jimmy: how about the other game? >> that's the game we're calling. we've got jameis winston, fans usually have an opinion of that, from last year, won the heisman. this year's winner, we think, will be marcus mariota. the last two heisman trophy winners. oregon ducks? >> great storylines. >> oregon is the team to beat. do not count out florida state. i think they'll play well. >> jimmy: i think you should expand it to 64 games and call it january madness and maybe have office pools. >> the whole thing. >> get you involved. >> jimmy: i would be happy to be involved. very happy to see you guys. that's chris fowler and kirk herbstreit! the college football playoffs begin new year's day with oregon versus florida state in the rose bowl, followed by alabama versus ohio state in the sugar bowl on espn. we'll be right back with priory. [ cheers and applause ]

thank you cable. for the slower internet upload speeds. for making me wait longer to share my photo albums. thank you cable, because if we never had you... we wouldn't know the incredible difference verizon fios makes. the numbers don't lie. in customer satisfaction studies, fios is rated #1 in internet speed and reliability, and hd picture quality. get a fios triple play online at an amazing price guaranteed for two years and get a $400 bonus with a two year agreement. hurry! it's your last chance! this offer ends january 17th. call the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800.974.6006 tty/v >> jimmy: i'd like to thank

kathy griffin, chris fowler and kirk herbstreit and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, this is their e.p., it's called "weekend." here with the title track, priory! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ and all the kids now they come running and it's the weekend it's the weekend ♪ ♪ and all the parents they keep calling but there's no answer 'cause it's the weekend ♪ ♪ working class to the bone and i know you're tired of hearing it ♪

♪ it's the weekend it's the weekend this right here is the d-o proletariat ♪ ♪ it's the weekend come on the weekend ♪ ♪ hell yeah i just got paid it's time to get this started wait till i stake my claim ♪ ♪ forget that i was ever your whipping boy tonight i might just lose my way ♪ ♪ but i'll never get down-hearted good friends keep enemies at bay ♪ ♪ forget that i was ever your whipping boy ♪ ♪ and all the kids now they come running it's the weekend it's the weekend ♪ ♪ and all the parents they keep calling

but there's no answer 'cause it's the weekend ♪ ♪ hell yeah i just got paid it's time to get this started wait till i stake my claim ♪ ♪ forget that i was ever your whipping boy tonight i might just lose my way ♪ ♪ but i'll never get down-hearted good friends keep enemies at bay ♪ ♪ forget that i was ever your whipping boy ♪ ♪ rest when we're old should do as were told but i just can't help it i'll reach for the stove ♪ ♪ the night closes in now for the second act tell our friends go ahead 'cause we're hanging back ♪ ♪ youth like a spark it lights up the dark we unlock the mystery i knew that you'd miss me ♪ ♪ my mouth on your neck your touch on my cheek let hands guide the way as we play hide and seek ♪ ♪ oh baby please stay true what you gonna do when i come for you oh baby please stay true ♪

♪ what you gonna do yeah my arrows shoot for you my arrows shoot so true ♪ ♪ these arrows shoot for you my arrow shoots so true ♪ ♪ hell yeah i just got paid it's time to get this started wait till i stake my claim ♪ ♪ forget that i was ever your whipping boy tonight i might just lose my way ♪ ♪ but i'll never get down-hearted good friends keep enemies at bay ♪ ♪ forget that i was ever your whipping boy ♪ ♪ hell yeah i just got paid it's time to get this started wait till i stake my claim ♪ ♪ forget that i was ever your whipping boy tonight i might just lose my way ♪ ♪ but i'll never get

down-hearted good friends keep enemies at bay ♪ ♪ forget that i was ever your whipping boy ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." >> two standoffs. two dramatic climaxes if in a hail of bullets. three gunmen with links to al qaeda, now dead, the twist, dangerous female alleged accomplice, now a new search for france's most wanted woman. my husband is not gay. >> they're married but he's attracted to other men. meet the unusual mormon couples who are up front about their differences and how they say it works for them. dognapping not supposed to take the ones who already have, how a veterinarian helped reunite this little girl with