tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 10, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am EST
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>> jimmy: thanks to each and every one of you tonight. hey, did you know that this week is random acts of kindness week? i guess nobody told kanye west, either. this is the 20th annual random acts of kindness week. it's the week when we're encouraged to do nice things for other people randomly. a photo was published today taken by the hubble telescope. if you look closely, it looks like a smiley face, right? cos made an emoejy for us. tonight we have a fun plan. we're going to reward a stranger for being kind. if you watch our show regularly, you know my cousin sal makes a lot of mischief, but from time to time to make sure he doesn't
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go to hell, we use his talents for good. there's sal. he has a bag of groceries. >> sure, a little grocery shopping. >> jimmy: and a goldfish. what are you going to do with that goldfish? >> i'm going to go on hollywood boulevard and ask someone to hold my fishbowl, and when i come back, if they're still holding it, i'm going to give them $50 per minute that they're still holding it. >> jimmy: you want to go there right now? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know if i would hold someone's goldfish, would you, guillermo? >> yes. i would take care of it so he would survive. >> jimmy: all right, let's go to the street where cousin sal is, okay, there he is. got the fish. >> i'm sorry, can you hold this? please, i'm really in a bind here. >> jimmy: that's what i would
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do. >> sir, can you hold this? i forgot something inside, thank you, thank you. keep him, stand up with him, he gets nauseous if you sit down. i'll be right back. >> jimmy: look at that. that was quick. how many drinks do they have, those guys. now we'll see how long they'll hold it. which, i don't have a great feeling about these guys, but, sal, are you sure you picked the right guys? because those guys looked a little confused. >> yeah, i'm not sure myself what's going on. >> jimmy: all right, let's see what's going on out there with those guys. oh. i guess that's what one would do. are they leaving? oh, no. your fish is being, it's a fish napping. sal, go get your fish back. >> did those weirdo stoners take
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my fish? >> jimmy: yes, they d we'll check back in with sal in a minute. the supreme court yesterday cleared the way for same-sex marriage in alabama, making it okay for men to marry men and women to marry women. most counties in alabama are refusing to obey the ruling. roy moore ordered the not to order marriage license. it's bad news for gay couples in alabama and a huge blow to the bedazzled tuxedo industry there. i think the question for me is, what the hell are gay couples doing in alabama? it seems there are states that are gay cannot get married, but
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couples that meet on tinder? i may have made something up. the e channel has a interesting documentary. it runs again on friday. they followed lance bass and his new husband as they prepare for their wedding. this reminds me so much of when i was preparing for my wedding. >> that's what we really want for our wedding. a gay wedding. >> we can be masculine and gay. >> you have dogs in the wedding, it could be a little feminine. we want to make sure it's masculine. >> how do you feel about something like this for >> jimmy: did you get it back? >> i got him back. >> jimmy: how does he look?
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>> it was a traumatic experience. >> jimmy: go out there and try again and see if can you find somebody who looks more trustworthy. again, if somebody goes along with babysit being cousin sal's ferb, we will give that person $50 per minute for doing so. let's go back out there. okay. there's cousin sal. >> hey, would you do me a favor? will you hold my fish? i have to go get something. >> i got it. >> you got it? i'll be right back. >> jimmy: all right, this guy seems more dependable, right? seems like he's a fish lover also. so let's set the timer and see how long he'll wait. and let's keep him in the corner of the screen so we can watch the man hold the fish. all right. okay. very good. so we'll move on and keep checking back in with him, and if he smashes the fish or anything like that or if he leaves it, we'll go back in
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live. hey, this is alarming. according to a new report, almost 100% of connected cars, cars with bluetooth and the smart things in them? are vulnerable to hackers. the hackers can use bluetooth or onstar to steal your data and control your vehicle. in other words, there's never been a better time to own a 2002 windstar. toyota, by the way, is testing out a new car, it's tiny, called the toyota i-road. it's like 3 feet, slightly smaller than a person. they call it a fusion of a motorcycle and electric compact car, a bobsled and a shopping cart, which i feel safe already. this car looks like it could be totaled by a squirrel. it's unclear if ever the car will be are just testing it right now.
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at a certain point, isn't it just better to walk? let's go back outside where a man is holding kucousin sal's fish, and sal's coming back out. >> thanks so much. don't put him down, he gets nauseous. he needs two more minutes. i just have to find it. thank you, thank you. don't put him down. don't put him down. it's dirty and he gets sick, and he vomits. >> jimmy: one of those rare vomiting fishes. he gets nauseated on solid ground because he's used to being in the ocean with all the waves and everything. are any of you planning to go see "fifty shades of grey," the movie? [cheers and applause] you horny devils. they're showing it on 75 i max screens across the country. sorry, kids, spongebob had to
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move to the little theater so mom and aunt sharon can have dirty time together. and this is exciting. not only is it on i max, for an extra $4 a ticket, the ushers will come by and spank you. this is a nutty thing. in atlanta, there's a barber in atlanta who's offering a very creative solution for parents of kids who misbehave. it's called the benjamin button special. he gives kids, like that kid, an old man haircut. he tried it first on his own son and it worked. this is a 10 year old boy. his mother brought him in for acting up at school. the haircut has turned her son's behavior around. how that is possible, i have no idea. is he still holding the fishes? some people are calling this emotional abuse. as a general rule, if you discipline your kid for fraternities, probably not a
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great parent. so we turn to someone who is a great parent. if you are a parent i think you'd be wise to pay attention. >> would you discipline your child in a cruel way? you run the risk of making chaos in his life. giving him a great haircut is not one of them. this is not punishment, this is a reward, a classic, handsome look, no matter what your age. i love it, and kids love it, right, tommy? >> thank you for the haircut, dr. phil. >> you're welcome. you're as hand some as a beaner in a bow tie. >> dr. phil is not certified by the board of cosmetology. some assembly required.
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>> jimmy: let's go back to cousin sal. shall we do another test on this guy? looks like his back is hurting. >> let's do it. >> jimmy: so one of the guy whose works here, scott, is going to help us. see if the guy will sell you the fish, if you can buy it from him, okay? >> all right. >> jimmy: sal, when scott comes back, hold him down and shave that beard. let's go out to scott now on the boulevard and see, there's our guy. all right. there's, okay, there's scott. >> sweet fish, dude. what is that? >> looks like a goldfish. >> yeah, yeah. that's a peruvian gold, those are awesome. those are actually tasty. >> really? >> yeah. i'll give you 30 bucks to eat it. >> no, a dude had me hold it for him. >> serious?
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it's somebody else's, dude. i got a pet turtle, you know, i can't give them away. >> yeah, but they're amphibians. they don't have a life or a soul or anything. >> it might hurt his feelings. i love my turtle. >> that's true. when i bite down, it will hurt its feelings. anyway, 50 bucks? i'll eat it? >> no, no. it's somebody else's. >> okay. ki put h can i hold him in my hand or anything? >> no. >> you get hungry in hollywood. >> jimmy: you probably could buy a meal in a restaurant for $60, right? this guy is serious. what a sweet guy. we'll give him another two minutes and finish this off. some major, major motion picture news. spiderman, at long last, is
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coming back to the marvel universe. sony is going to team with disney, which owns marvel, to co-produce a new spiderman move e now they have joint custody of spiderman. sony gets spiderman on the weekend. but there have been five spiderman movies over the past 12 years. they're looking for a new actor, but they haven't announced what the next movie will be about. i hope we fine out how he actually got those powers, because that hasn't been covered yet, right? let's go back out to cousin sal, what is -- okay, what the hell is that? >> it's a fish costume. >> jimmy: all right. i didn't notice there was a ken doll in your fishbowl. >> this is a new thing. >> jimmy: all right. so i don't know why you're dressed like a fish, but let's go out there, and it's time to pay the man. do you have the money?
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>> i have all the money. >> jimmy: all right, go out there and pay the guy, if this doesn't scare him, i don't know what will. maybe sal will take pictures with tourists while he's out there dressed as a goldfish. it's time to pay the nice man for watching our fish here. >> sir, sir! sir, thank you. thank you for holding my fish. i appreciate it. you did it. i want to trade for a sechblgtd you ta -- second. you watched him for a total of ten minutes. we were timing you. were you on jimmy kimmel live. i'm going to give you $50 a minute for holding him. you get $500. >> no way! [cheers and applause] >> and an extra $100 for not eating him. do whatever you want with that. look at jimmy kimmel, right there. >> thank you so much, jimmy
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>> jimmy: hello there, friend. tonight from espn and abc two gentlemen who call a very nice game of basketball jeff van gundy and mark jackson. then later one of the highlights of the grammy awards on sunday her album is called "nostalgia" annie lenox from the at&t stage. [cheers and applause] tomorrow night, david spade will be here. and thursday, oscar nominee kiera knightley, from "scandal" tony goldwyn, and music from incubus. oh, look at this. [cheers and applause] there's the fish.
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what is your name? >> cedric. >> jimmy: cedric, nice to meet you. thank you for holding the fish. were you about to leave at the end of it? >> i had to throw stuff away, trash in my pocket. >> jimmy: very good. did you say you were a marine? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: oh, worked out beautifully. was that the strangest request you've ever received on a public street? >> uh, it's up there. >> jimmy: well, thank you, cedric. and thank you, cousin sal. you look great. i think you should wear that all the time. thank you very much, that's cedric, everybody. >> jimmy: you know our first guest from four scary movies, two "cloudy with a chance of meatballs" and one "lost in translation." her tv show is called "mom," watch it thursday nights on cbs, please welcome anna faris. >> jimmy: more with anna faris
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how are you? great to see you. you look fantastic. i love the outfit, i have to say. >> well, it's a power suit, they say. >> jimmy: is it a power suit? >> yes, i'm very powerful. >> jimmy: you and your husband, chris pratt were at the super bowl. i know he's a huge seahawks fan. >> we both grew up in seattle. >> jimmy: so you flew out there. you bought tickets. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you sit in like a seattle supporter section? >> we did. chris presented the night before the nfl awards. they give awards out to everybody. >> jimmy: yes. that's what they say about us. >> i know, although my highlight
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is my stoney award. but -- >> jimmy: this is pre-game, or i don't know -- >> pregame. >> jimmy: or were you drowning your sorrows post game? >> no. this is pre-game. every time i see a football game i learn a little something new. >> jimmy: were you learning here? >> yeah. yeah. yeah. see, this is the defense, and there's offense. >> jimmy: oh, i see. of the beers against the fruit? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and the beers, of course, always win. how old is your son now? >> he's 2 1/2. >> jimmy: did he go to the super bowl with you? >> no. we wanted to have fun. >> jimmy: have you traveled with him? >> i have. i have taken my sweet little boy all over the place of the and most notably, the longest trip we took --
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knows that traveling on a plane for 11 hours is a long time. so on the way back, he does great. he's a beautiful little boy. we're on the tarmac at heathrow, and it's quiet, you know, sort of the quiet before the engines roll. and we're, and he starts, you know, vocalizing, starts saying stuff like woo, woo, not screaming, not crying, just being adorable, i thought. but i'm also sweating, because everyone is hating me around me. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> because they know what a joy is he to be around. >> jimmy: because they were never babies themselves. they just became well-behaved full-grown adults. >> right.
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and i hear a sh! and i look over, and it's mickey rourke. i was already so nervous and knowing that everyone hated me. and then to have mickey rourke confirm that didn't feel great. >> jimmy: you got shushed by -- >> i got shushed by mickey rourke. >> jimmy: was it a joke? >> no, and then he started grumble being, like, you better shut that baby up. i have say this now after some time has passed, i don't know if mickey and i will ever work together. i don't know if he's in the mood to hire he for any particular project. >> jimmy: wow. >> i came back home, and he, you know, my son fell asleep. mickey fell asleep as well. >> jimmy: oh, good. did you have to change either of them during the flight? >> so the rest of the flight was okay.
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i was still sweating, but i came home, and i told a writer of mom, i said, you know, mickey rourke shushed my baby, and she said the same thing happened to me at a restaurant. >> jimmy: what? >> apparently mickey rourke has a thing. he likes to shush babies. >> jimmy: he carries this yapping little chihuahuas everywhere he goes. how dare he shush your baby, a human baby. >> i'm going w -- chihuahua next time i see him. >> jimmy: guillermo's standing there with a tranquilizer gun. >> but thankfully, this is just between you and me. >> jimmy: this will not go any further. anna faris is here. we'll be right back.
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>> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by kfc popcorn nuggets. what have you been feeding me my whole life? these don't even need ketchup. should've known when those other nuggets were shaped like dinosaurs. what else haven't you told me? kfc popcorn nuggets. 100% white meat, extra crispy, and made from the world's best chicken- the way a nugget should be. get them with all this in your next $5 fill up or try them in a go cup. these don't even come with a toy and i don't care. dry spray? ♪ that's fun. it's already dry! no wait time. this is great. it's very soft. can i keep it? all the care of dove. now in a dry antiperspirant spray. nice! gr-reat! a shot like that... calls for a post-game celebration. share what you love with who you love. kellogg's frosted flakes. they're gr-r-reat!
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i am, actually. with exotic fish? yeah! and a giant star fish? how can you tell? you've been staring at the new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. right. $300,000 buried treasure. with 10 top prizes of $300,000. (announcer) want to see your dream come to life? you could scratch your way to instant winning. the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life. >> jimmy: we're back. annie lennox, and anna faris is here with us. the show, they come and go so quickly, and to get on a second season is a notable achievement, it really is. >> oh, my god. it's the best job i've ever had. i'm so, so grateful. i love what we're doing, i love working with alison.
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>> jimmy: she's great. >> i'm feeling really, really fortunate. >> jimmy: your character is a recovering alcoholic. was this written for you? >> may i have a sip of this? >> jimmy: it's vodka, yes, and with a pregnant daughter. that's -- >> i know. we tackle a lot of issues, and i am, i haven't told too many people, but since we're in such an intimate environment now -- >> jimmy: just before mickey kills us, tell us everything on your mind. >> i met chuck lorre. >> jimmy: he's the creator of the show. >> and enormously successful. and i met him at a dinner party about a year before the job came to me in an odd way. and i was a little tipsy at said dinner party. so when he offered me this job, being a recovered alcoholic, i
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felt like, what are you trying to say? but the script showed up at my door in an odd way. there wasn't any cover letter. sort of normally, you know, like you get a call, saying, well, somebody's interested in you for this part, read the script, go in and audition, blah, blah, blah. this was sort of all, he had the script dropped off at my doorstep, and i was reading at the time a script an indy movie where i was to be prostitute number four or something. >> jimmy: okay. >> that's what happens after you give birth to a child. you get prostitute number four. it's the way of life, guys. you just have to embrace it. so my husband started reading the script of "mom", and he said i don't know what you're doing.
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put it down, because you are this character. >> jimmy: you are this recovering alcoholic. >> yeah, i try not to examine that too closely. >> jimmy: you have beers battling fruit and all sorts of things going on. >> and it all worked out. and it's really fortunate that people are enjoying it. i'm enjoying doing it. >> jimmy: do you have a plan for valentine's day? >> yes. >> jimmy: what is it? >> my husband said, i don't want to let you done, honey, but i haven't planned anything. and i said, baby, i just want your stomach. so i'm going to try to cook him a nice meal because he's on these crazy diets now. >> jimmy: he's all fit and everything. >> and you want to stuff his stomach full of fattening food like i used to. >> jimmy: that sounds like a lot of fun. >> yeah. come over. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. there won't be any food left for him if i come over. it's anna faris.
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we'll be right back. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. [russian man] this is a dangerous man. [woman] who is he? must be a... ♪ clean, protect and style with new axe white label. ♪ ♪ taonly better because it'says not the holidays roger, it is 53 days until christmas! it's not reasonable!
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>> jimmy: welcome back. music from annie lennox is on the way. but first, there is much we can learn from tv and from the people who are on it. tonight we studied the teachings of the long-time host of the 700 club whose thoughts we have been filing away to bring you the collective wisdom of pat robertson. >> satanic rituals, it seems like a fun exercise. save your confederate dollars. the south will rise again. i've got an uncontrollable urge to watch pornography. i've got an uncontrollable urge to smoke dope. we want that man so we
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sex with hilm. isis. let's tear stuff down. the towels could have aids. pork chops, big deal. how come mars is getting hotter? they don't have any suvs in mars. are you stupid? >> jimmy: we'll be right back with mark jackson. so long that i needed to quit smoking. i would quit then i'd go right back to it. chantix absolutely helped me quit smoking. along with support, chantix (varenicline) is proven to help people quit smoking. chantix helped reduce my urge to smoke. some people had changes in behavior, thinking or mood, hostility, agitation, depressed mood and suicidal thoughts or actions while taking or after stopping chantix. some people had seizures while taking chantix. if you have any of these, stop chantix and call your doctor right away. tell your doctor about any history of mental health problems, which could get worse while taking chantix or history of seizures. don't take chantix if you've had a serious allergic or skin reaction to it. if you develop these,
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[cheers and applause] ♪ well, first of all, it's great to have you guys here. 25 years is a long time to be -- well, i guess you weren't a team when you started. you were on the same team, you being assistant coach, you being a player. were you a rookie? >> i believe it was my second year. >> then he became a >> jimmy: did it happen over the course of the offseason? >> no. he was just a scrummy. hang around the gym, nerdy, workaholic. and here we are now. >> jimmy: what do you remember about mark? what was your first impression of him?
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>> he was an instigator. back then we had a small forward named johnny newman. >> jimmy: okay. >> and he came in with a new car one day. so mark says to a couple guys, and i overheard him, said i'm going to convince this other guy, named gerald wilkins, to buy a new car. he kept saying that car is nice. you got a nice car. kept going all day, all day. all through practice. next day, gerald wilkins, new car. >> jimmy: it's a jedi mind trick that you had there. >> we're going to be in the leader. >> jimmy: are you a car guy? did you have a fancy car yourself? >> you know what's funny? the first big purchase i bought was a 735 bmw, gold rims. i'm probably the first rookie of the year in sports that lived in the same house as i was in a senior in college. i'd play in madison square garden, go back in the bedroom
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that i shared with my three brothers, and my bmw sitting outside my house. the only bmw on the block. >> jimmy: and it must have been quite a surprise when you brought ladies home, huh? these are my brothers. >> i didn't bring ladies hole. >> jimmy: did you drive -- i don't imagine you driving a big flashy car, am i correct on that? >> for most of the time i drove a honda civic. but now i'm up to a toyota camry. [ applause ] >> your dad was coaching the new york knicks with a honda civic. >> jimmy: when were you head coach? a honda civic? >> yeah. it died a tragic death. >> jimmy: how does it die? >> well, we were coming home from a playoff game against miami. fifth game, we lose. and we were chartering late at night. the cars were on the tarmac. and mine was always first. so i was usually first up. but we had pilots that weren't
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used to parking that way. so instead of coming in and parking they candidate circle to get around to the park. i saw my car there. and as they circled and they parked and i got off, my car's not there. and i said to our video coordinator who's giving me stuff. i said today's not the day to mess with me. we're down 3-2, where's my car? and he goes over there. it's like 50 yards away. when he pulled around, the exhaust of the jet sent my car straight up, totaled my car and three other cars. >> i would say it was the power of prayer. >> jimmy: yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: something i always wanted to ask you about. there's a great photograph here. this is a fight, i think, between larry johnson and alonzo morning. and somehow you end up attached to alonzo mourning's flank? >> not my best look.
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>> jimmy: i think we have video. maybe you can talk us through this. this is a real heavyweight fight. these guys are swinging and missing. >> so, all right, so, it's bad, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i now understood, i understood right after that why people in court case plead temporary insanity, because i have no recollection of what happened, other than once the fight broke up, i acted tough, like i wanted a piece of mourning, because i knew larry johnson was going to step in front of me and not let it happen. because, man, when you do that, you lose all street credibility right there. >> you think? >> yeah. >> jimmy: as a player and your coach does something like that, which we rarely see coaches do, do you have more respect for him for getting in there and getting in the middle of that scrum? >> do you have more respect for him, even though his hand skills wasn't up to par. you have more respect for him because at the end of the day,
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you get coaches preaching, we're in this together. we're in this together, it's about us. and to see him actually get in the thick of it and willing to sacrifice his street kred, it was unbelievable. we bought in. >> jimmy: let's do that one more time. we added the audio here. go ahead. it reads better. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you were with the knicks together and mark you go to the indiana pacers, and you come back and jeff is no longer there, and you're no longer the hometown guy. you're the enemy. >> you're trash talking in practice playing with them. it's like if i ever see you down the road, i'm going to give you the business. i'm better than you. to now go to another team and experience playing against them after witnessing the knicks beat the pacers, it was a lot of
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it was thrilling for me. >> he was a clown. back then when he used to have a good play, he's a grown man. he's flying the plane, like this, coming down the court. and i liked him so much. but in those 48 minutes, i couldn't detest anybody greater than him. >> jimmy: really? even reggie miller? >> he's got a special category. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i saw you guys the other night. i think it was a clippers game you were working. there was a 30-point differential in the game, and you guys start talking about coming on the show, is that a fun part of the game for you where you just start kind of filling time and yammering? >> i tell you what, for us it doesn't matter whether it's a blowout or not. we just freestylin'. >> jimmy: you do it anyway. >> we just have fun, which is the beautiful part. if you watch us listen to a game or you went to dinner with us or watched us at the jimmy kimmel
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live show, we'd be the same guys. we just try to have fun and grab different topics. >> jimmy: do you have this thing, i have had this thing with bosses in the past, where you pay special attention and really listen to jeff because he at one time was your coach? >> no. in all honesty -- >> that's a no. >> yes, i do. no, the guy, i mean, i love the guy. we get back to you talk about us playing in the playoffs. while he's the coach of knicks, i'm a player on the opposing team. my father died during one of the games. he invite please to come on the plane to get back for the funeral. coaches don't do that. this guy, he's my guy for life. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i like that. you guys are real pals. do you shower together after the games? >> no. no. >> jimmy: all right. i wanted to know how far it
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goes. >> jimmy: jeff van gundy & mark jackson! watch the rockets vs. clippers tomorrow night at 10:30 eastern on espn. when we return music from annie lennox. ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. they challenge us. they take us to worlds full of heroes and titans. for respawn, building the best interactive entertainment begins with the cloud. this is "titanfall," the first multi-player game built and run on microsoft azure.
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel concert series is brought to you by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> i'd like to thank anna faris, jeff van gundy, mark jackson and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first this is her album "nostalgia" here with the song "georgia on my mind" annie lennox. ♪ ♪ georgia georgia the whole day through ♪ ♪ just an old sweet song keeps georgia
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this is "nightline." tonight, american killed. 26 year old arizona native kayla mueller confirmed dead a year after being taken hostage in syria. the emotional reaction from her family tonight, and new details she sent home. was she forced to be an isis bride? >> speed riders. is this pair gliding? we're taking a breath-taking mission to conquer a new sport. but it's dangerous. what happen when is one professional stunt man takes a leap that could change his life. gone to the oscars. first she was a bond girl, then she was
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