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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 4, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am EST

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>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- vince vaughn, and mike tyson. with cleto and the cletones. and now, from here forward, here's jimmy kimmel challenge! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. i'm jimmy, host of the show. thank you for watching, thank you for coming.
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i don't mean to stop the enthusiasm. but i got a piece must have tie sticking out here at the bottom. it's driving me crazy. i don't know what to do about it. do you have a pair of scissors or anything? okay, we'll get one, maybe i'll trim that a little bit. you don't have any, no scissors? no office supplies here? what kind of a show this is? by the way have you bought your girl scout cookies yet? [ cheers and applause ] they're not on sale yet. if you did i hope you bought them from girl scouts. there's a girl scout cookie crime wave washing over america. in st. louis, $1,200 word of girl scout cookies were stolen from a 6-year-old girl. in san jose a 10-year-old had cash taken out of her hands while she was selling cookies in front of a grocery store. 5,000 boxes of girl scout cookies were stoegn from a warehouse. there are cookie monsters on the
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loose. [ laughter ] either that or the girl scouts got tired of sitting outside trader joe's all day and dumped the cookie in the river or something. but guillermo, you haven't been stealing girl scout cookies? >> guillermo: no, jimmy, no. >> jimmy: okay, all right. how do the boy scouts get away with not having to sell anything? sitting around in their neckerchiefs. remember that thing patricia arquette set about women not getting equal pay? i blame the girl scouts. okay, we do our show from hollywood. visitors from all over the world stroll by our studio every day. over the course of the 12 1/2 years we've been working here i've developed a knack for determining who is a foreigner and who is not. and with that said, it's time to put my abilities to the test. it's time to play "foreigner or not?" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. so cousin sal is out on
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hollywood boulevard. how you doing? >> sal: hey, jimmy. does this hurt at all? >> jimmy: yeah. >> sal: i'll get it right. >> jimmy: i'm the little one here, yeah. cousin sal, the weather is beautiful today, isn't it? >> sal: yeah, sure, it's always nice. >> jimmy: especially nice today. this is a simple game. sal is going to bring a pedestrian into frame. it will be somebody he rounded up from off the street. i will try to guess if that person is from america or from abroad. you have somebody standing by now. >> sal: i do. >> jimmy: you've instructed them not to speak? >> sal: you guys know not to say anything, right? they all said yes in different languages. >> jimmy: good, all right. bring one of them in. let's meet our first pedestrian. and that person is? all right. okay. now, i have to again figure out just by looking at him if this guy is a foreigner or not. okay. so hey, how you doing? foreigner, foreigner? okay, let's see. all right. so we got the big necklace chain.
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let's pan down, if we could. tilt down. okay, white jeans. okay, you know, the shoes are always like the big give-away. and i am going to say that this gentleman is a foreigner. >> sal: reveal. >> jimmy: let's see. oh, no! where are you from? >> washington, d.c. >> jimmy: wow. and no socks? is it because it's so much warmer the hell with the socks? >> no need. >> jimmy: and what about that chain? is that solid gold? is that real jewelry there? >> sal: he's really pissed off at you for some reason. >> jimmy: you're taking this not talking thing a little bit too far. all right, you know, very good to meet you. thanks for participating. cousin sal has a gift to thank you for playing, an american apple pie. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, look, wow.
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look at the characters centraling by. okay, a very attractive woman here. you know not to talk, right? okay. we know she speaks english now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm very tricky this way. okay. all right. let's see. the jacket. okay, could be from anywhere. the purse -- i don't know anything about purses. oh, the nails match the dress. and then, oh, we keep going down. there's a tattoo on her foot. and it seems to be a little bird there. indicating peace. which is, let's see, i am going to say -- you know what i have no reason to think that you aren't american so i'm going to say you are not a foreigner. and you are? oh! wow. what happened to me? i used to be so good at this. where are you from in england? >> new zealand. >> jimmy: oh, i'm good with maps as well, too. [ laughter ]
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>> disappointing. >> jimmy: it is all curled up there. you're from new zealand? >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you here on vacation? >> yeah. until saturday. >> jimmy: what's that? >> until saturday. >> jimmy: i wasn't looking to hook up but -- [ laughter ] >> just letting you know. >> jimmy: give cousin sal your information, we'll figure something out. there goes mr. muscles out on the boulevard. there's an apple pie for you, enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is good. and there is from "wheel of fortune." they had a disney-themed evening highlighted by one of the best worst answers of all time. >> d. >> yes, three ds. >> i would like to solve. >> okay, go ahead. >> dopey, grumpy, doc, hashful, happy, sneaky and sleepy. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: oh, no.
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sneaky and sleepy. now she's feeling dopey and grumpy. there's a new study out of canada that has found that human beings are relying now on smartphones to do their thinking for them. instead of thinking for ourselves. the study showed that people view their phones now as an extended mind and instead of thinking about things, we're just getting the answers from the phone, which apparently according to them is a disturbing trend. the fear that is our phones are becoming smarter than we are. which i don't know, if they're so smart, why don't they drop us in the toilet? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my phone can't even figure out that i never mean to text the word "ducking." there's never a situation. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is a great one. it made me think we aren't as smart as our phones. boston medical center found that 15% of 2-year-olds, children, in the boston area, drink as much as 4 ounces of coffee a day. they analyzed 315 pairs of moms
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and infants. they found almost 50 of those children drink coffee. i wouldn't think to ask a mother if she gave her baby -- i had no idea. i've never seen that happen before. i didn't know -- the parents claim they'll only give the kids coffee when they need it, like when the kid wakes up with a hangover. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pediatricians say giving caffeine to toddlers can cause depression, diabetes, sleep disturbance, and obesity. on the you side they get a lot more finger painting done. oh, look at this. someone has appeared. all right. hi. i guess i can't ask your name. where's cousin sal? did he leave? sal? there you are. okay. all right. oh, yeah. we've got to figure out if you ar foreigner or not. the hair -- i don't know why but i'm going to guess that you're british, i think. let's take a look at the whole -- let's look at the clothes. the tattoos. what language they're in.
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the converse -- no. you're way too cool to be american right now. i am going to say foreigner. >> sal: all right, show him. >> jimmy: oh! what are you, a singer or something? >> i am. >> jimmy: you're a singer. all right. should have done guess your profession instead of where you're from. >> i'm from brooklyn, new york. >> jimmy: on vacation? >> i moved to l.a. to pursue my singing. >> sing a little bit for us. ♪ we were one babe from a moment in time ♪ ♪ it seems to be lasting that you will always be mine ♪ ♪ but now you want to be free and so i'm letting you fly ♪ >> jimmy: wow, that's very good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you make that song up?
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>> no, my momma rye yeah carrie did. >> jimmy: give her a record contract. >> sal: there's one in the pie. >> jimmy: all right. very good. by the way, i want to mention that tonight on the show vince vaughn is here. and mike tyson is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: mike tyson lives in las vegas. but he likes to visit us here in l.a. from time to time. because we have the best build a bear workshop. oh, okay, all right. here we go. hi, okay. i can't ask your name. but i am going to inspect you. i hope you don't mind. he's wearing a tank top. that's what the weather's like here. in english, endless summer, there's somebody talking to sal out there. you've got stains on the shorts. oh, you know what, black socks with casual shoes generally indicate foreigners. but things are really changing now. okay.
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i'm going to say that this gentleman is like scandinavian of some kind. i'm going to say foreigner, cousin sal? >> sal: let's see it. no. >> jimmy: oh! what about the guy behind you? >> sal: oh, no. >> this is a crazy coincidence. >> jimmy: mike tyson is going to kill you if he sees you! [ laughter ] >> sal: should i throw pie in his face? >> jimmy: better get the hell out of this neighborhood. all right. well, thank you very much. what's going on out there? the king and the queen, i guess. all right. all right. wow, this is a weird place to work. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cousin sal. we know it's weird here in california. but the state of utah, which you think of as a very conservative state, they're considering a bill that would allow the sale of edible marijuana for medical
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use, which is very good news for people with imaginary back problems. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but a dea agent is speaking out against this. he said it could lead to a lot of stoned rabbits. for real. he says rabbits will eat the pot that is grown at marijuana farms and start following the band phish around the country. the agent said there's danger the rabbits might become addicted to pot and lose their natural instincts. which -- come on. i mean, how adorable would it be to walk in on a bunny sitting on your couch playing games and eat bag pa john's pizza? i don't know why this guy is so concerned about stoner rabbits but he's not the only one. there's a new fake ad campaign we made up specifically targeted at this. >> you love your rabbit. so learn to recognize the warning signs of marijuana abuse. is your ran rit listless?
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tired? does he zone out for long periods of time? and binge suddenly on food? does he try to mate with other species? or inanimate objects? if so, talk to your bunny. find out what's going on. before it's too late. brought to you by floppy the rabbit. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: one more item while we're on the subject of wild-and marijuana. we've been producing a very popular nature series starring snoop dogg. snoop hosts his own show on his youtube tan net "ggn." from time to time he teams up to host what critics are calling the greatest nature program ever. i'm proud to present tonight's edition of "plizzanet earth." >> what you doorks it's your boy
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big snoop dogg. let's look at another animal. these are -- beavers? those look like -- oh my god. that's a crocodile. look how they stand up on they toes. we got to get up out of here, cuz, come on. . he got him cornered right now. oh! whoa! they're going hand up with him? they ain't scared of me. what is these animals? they one of them eat snakes? mongooses? oh! wow. there's about 12 of them backing the gator up. i never seen a gator by mongooses. retreat, retreat, [ bleep ]. back up, yeah. yeah. hey, hold it, hold it, hold it! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. mike tyson is here. we'll be right back with vince vaughn so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: welcome back. one of the most fascinating people in all the world. he has a new documentary called "champs" that comes out next friday. iron mike tyson is here. tomorrow on the show naomi watts will be with us, as will reggie miller and we'll have music from carly rae jepsen. so join us then. our first guest is a very funny and talented man whose extremities are still damp from placing them in cement at the chinese theater across the street from us today. you know him from many great films, the latest "unfinished business." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome vince vaughn! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> how are you? i watching the opening thing. it's tough to watch a slugger have a bad outing. the best thing they can do is get back at the plate. so i picked a gentleman off the street. and i thought, it doesn't matter what the record was before. >> jimmy: okay. >> let's end on a win. >> jimmy: all right. >> that's what you want to do. let it all go. >> jimmy: okay. >> it's the next play that matters. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> get to work. >> jimmy: well, i mean -- the fact that you're wearing a shirt that says usa on it would lead some people to think you're from the usa but i'm going to say you must be a foreigner. yes? is that a yes? >> he's asking if you can reveal where you're from, sir. do you have a flag? >> jimmy: oh, okay. i think i won. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah!
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good job, good job. he gets the pie and i get a handshake. >> jimmy: he has no idea what's happening. >> he knows exactly what's happening, he got a pie. >> jimmy: he probably thinks this is a custom we have here in the united states. >> everybody knows. a lot of talk and he goes away with a pie. like they're going to believe that back home. >> jimmy: congratulations. you're the recipient of a great honor, you got your hands and feet pressed into cement. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is a big deal. >> yes. >> jimmy: really is a big deal. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they don't do that for everybody. there are a lot of stars out there but there are only -- reserved for the top movie stars and people -- i think the mafia are going to throw in the river. >> that's right. i don't know which one i land on. it was nice to be included, absolutely. >> jimmy: is this a big deal for
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you? >> it was fun. jon favreau who i did "swinger" with introduced me -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i know you're close to favreau. >> jimmy: i love that movie, one of my favorites. he introduced you? >> he did. he was saying it's funny, that was considered the west side, for those familiar. we lived out east. that's where we could afford to live. now those neighborhoods have gotten more expensive. >> jimmy: where did you live and how old were you? >> i was 18. i met favreau doing "rudy." when he came out here, he ended up in a neighborhood close to me. we used to go out in those fields and a lot of the ex-punk bands started playing live swing mus music. i remember walking around. we would walk by the chinese. being awe-struck by the hands and footprints and that kind of stuff. it was a lot of fun. >> jimmy: who are your hands and feet next to you? >> i don't know my neighbors yet. >> jimmy: you don't. >> it's unclear. >> jimmy: they do it in a square, then they -- i think we
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have video of this occurring, let's show that. so people can see that we're not making this up. there you are. >> that's right. >> jimmy: then really, your shoe prints, not your footprints. >> my shoe prints are going to be there. >> jimmy: then this is the result of that. you sign your name in cement which doesn't look that easy. you mixed capitals and cursive. >> unfortunately, that's how i roll. it's a little bit like -- i only get one chance, it's in cement, i can't make a mistake, what am i going to do? and i'm kind of measuring the real estate that was there. and at the same time they're telling you to smile. so i was like, this could go very bad. >> jimmy: yeah. you don't want to run out and you're vince vaugh. >> yeah, this is good penmanship. if the teacher was going to look at it i'd turn that in with a smile on my face. >> jimmy: congratulations, that is a very big deal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: friends and family
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there? >> my family was there. it was my mother's birthday today. >> jimmy: oh, night. >> very nice. i wanted to take her day away from her. i'm tired of it. every year. we've got to make a big deal out of it. let me step on these feelings. >> jimmy: your cake is made of cement. >> that's the way it is now, lady. i love my mom. it was actually kind of fun that it fell on her day. >> jimmy: you were in chicago over the weekend. i saw something that you did. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: a very nice thing to do. >> oh, boy. >> jimmy: you did it at special olympics -- >> i like to put it out like i did it for the kids but it was a dare, jimmy. no, i did it for special olympics. it was great to do something for them. i wish there was other things you could do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> versus being in a freezing-cold lake in the winter. >> jimmy: show that video too. the fact that they were playing bagpipes i thought -- if it turned into a funeral, everything was right there. and you marched into what appears to be a filthy frozen hole. >> that's right.
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remember the old commercial, the plunge? >> jimmy: the plunge, i forgot. >> i want it to look like i'm, hey, mr. easy-breezy. but i'm in a lot of pain in that moment. hey, no big deal. i'm going, this water! >> jimmy: that doesn't look -- looks like it could be a more sanitary situation also. >> i couldn't think about the hygiene, it was so cold. >> jimmy: you did a very nice thing. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and rewarded with your hands and feet in cement, that's how it works, it's called karma. vince vaughn is here. his movie "unfinished business," we'll come back and talk about that. be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by smooth and crunchy butterfinger peanut butter cups. it's a different kind of peanut butter cup. degree dry spray 48 hour superior antiperspirant protection that now goes on instantly dry
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how have you not seen this? this line up is incredible. you need to see this. hey. did you get the link? yeah i did. thanks man. wait till you see this. are you guys ready to see this? yeah. i'm so glad we did this. samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet, get $50 off at best buy. never.ever getting married. psssssh. guaranteed. you picked a beautiful ring. thank you. we're never having kids. mmm-mmm. breathe. i love it here. we are never moving to the suburbs. we are never getting one of those.
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we are never having another kid. i'm pregnant. i am never letting go. for all the nevers in life, state farm is there. can you not say your whole name today? when we meet up with jamieson group? >> why? >> because -- i'm just going to be honest with you. i think when you say your whole name it causes people to lose focus on putting the business stuff -- >> why would my name cause people to lose focus on business stuff? >> say it. >> mike pancake. >> ha ha ha! >> so -- yeah. that's all. >> jimmy: that is "unfinished business." [ cheers and applause ]
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boy, i have to tell you something. i thought this movie was really great. i loved that. dave franco's character in this movie is so odd and so funny. >> hilarious. >> jimmy: it's got a big laughs. >> franco's hilarious, and his character is very -- kind of a touched person, if you will. very funny. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> can i bring up something? are you a local, are you a foreigner game? there was a lady who was insatiable. >> jimmy: the singer. >> i wouldn't be surprised if she got a contract or something after tonight, she had a fantastic voice. here's what i don't understand. this lady -- it's not only enough that they can hit every notice, they have to point this them nowadays. they're letting me know? it's crazy. like the first person that does that you go, oh, okay, that's how they sing. they're kind of, hey, touch the notes they're hittinging. now other people do it. i don't understand it. i'm going, am i listening? am i following?
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>> jimmy: if you connect the dots you will see the constellation. >> i'm focused on the capital "a." i can't connect anything. >> jimmy: you could use some help. >> this note toucher, this beautiful note toucher is what she sgls people are too touchy with the notes. >> it's complicated. >> jimmy: she mentioned mariah carey, i think mariah carey that. maybe she feel shets must do the notes -- i don't know what the hell i'm talking about. >> voice of an angel. >> jimmy: she was also pretty attractive as well. let's not pretend we didn't notice that just because we're married men. >> thank you. yeah. >> jimmy: you shot your movie, a lot of it, in berlin. which is in another country. >> yes. >> jimmy: yes? >> yes. >> jimmy: it -- >> berlin, south dakota. right near laura ingals wilder's house. it was in berlin, germany. >> jimmy: how long were you there?
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>> we were there about three months. >> jimmy: you really got to see the place. >> i got underneath the city. underneath the fabric of the city. yeah, we had fun. we went out. we went to a beer garden. which is fun. they still dress like they're in the mountains with the sheep with the clothing choice. >> jimmy: they do it for us, don't they? >> yeah. they're laughing at us. like medieval times. they continue it. but what is interesting was they had a band that played traditional folk music. and, you know. it was interesting. this is nice. then they started playing and the floor went crazy. they started playing "i'm up all night to get lucky" and the place went crazy. >> jimmy: tubas and everything? >> yeah at that point do we have the costumes on and traditional stuff? let's lay into this thing. >> jimmy: you could go over there, make another movie with oompah music. that would be a lot of fun. have you ever met mike tyson? i know you're a boxing fan. >> i am. just today, because he's on the show, i had the pleasure of
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meeting him. boy, what a great fighter. >> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he doesn't fight anymore. >> he was a great fighter. i mean, i was of that age, too, it was impressive what he did and the way that he did it. i was scared for the guys getting in the ring. intimidating. >> jimmy: he'd come out -- >> no socks, looked like you talked to his sister in a bad way, it was scary. >> jimmy: did you find him intimidating? >> i found him lovely, very sweet, very nice. i was glad for that. >> jimmy: you're a very big guy but you don't want to test it. >> i think tall and professional fighter are two different things. >> jimmy: you did some boxing. >> a little bit to stay in shape. yes. the other guys, we would put on head gear and hit each other. you fight a guy who is a great fight history knows how to fight, what you find is that you can't hit them.
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they can move and roll and, you know, look at tyson. he fought a lot of guys who were taller with reach on him and he would roll and go underneath them and cover them up. >> jimmy: will you go to the pacquiao/mayweather fight? >> it's going to be exciting. i'm glad they're fighting. >> jimmy: it's about time people are fighting. >> it's about time, we need more fighting. i'm excited, i wish it would have been a few years ago. how do you take? >> jimmy: pacquiao. >> interesting, interesting. had a couple of losses lately. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i know he's not the favorite but i like him. he comes here. he sings. >> i'm rooting for him. he sings on the show? >> jimmy: he does, beautiful voice. >> i want to put anymore and that lady together, i've got to be honest. >> jimmy: with the gloves would be the whole thing. vince vaughn, everybody. go see his movie "unfinished business." it opens friday. thank you, vince. be right back with mike tyson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by smooth and crunchy butterfinger peanut butter cups. it's a different kind of peanut butter cup. in just this one moment,
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butterfinger have created a square, smooth and crunchy version of the peanut butter cup and it is taking hollywood by storm. in fact, butterfinger peanut butter cup is already so beloved it has been nominated for best candy of the year. let's go live now to guillermo on the red carpet. ♪ >> guillermo: wow what a night. i'm here with butter finker peanut butter cups. congratulations on your nomination for best candy, how do you feel? >> it's an honor just to be nominated. >> guillermo: who's this beautiful lady? >> my mother. >> guillermo: hi, mom, are you proud of your son? >> i am. for so many reasons. his smooth and crunchy texture, his square shape. he's impossible to resist. isn't he adorable? >> mom! dad. >> son. >> what are you doing here? >> i'm his father. >> it didn't feel like his father when you ran off with that floozy salt water taffy! >> excuse me, nut.
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[ shouting ] >> you know what your new name is? show it, your name, show it! >> guillermo: it's become very, very uncomfortable. i wish you good luck, butterfinger peanut butter cup. back to you. this is a mess. >> dicky: smooth and crunchy butterfinger peanut butter cup. it's a different kind of peanut butter cup. >> jimmy: be right back with mike tyson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [loud electric guitar solo] ♪ it's a different kind of peanut butter cup. smooth and crunchy butterfinger peanut butter cups.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back. our next guest is rightly one of the most fascinating people in the world. he's the former heavyweight champion of the world with a new documentary called "champs" that opens in theaters and on demand on march 13th. please welcome mike tyson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i have a picture of you here. it's good to see you. [ cheers and applause ]
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how's life? >> fine, huh? >> jimmy: i have a picture with you with madonna. you're on madonna's new album. there you are -- >> on the album. >> jimmy: -- getting ready to punch madonna in the face. >> this isn't true, guys. >> jimmy: how did this happen? you're on one of her songs. "iconic." you're on it. >> yes, yes, this is true. very true. it's really true. >> jimmy: she called you and asked you to do this? >> yes. yes, and when she calls, whatever she calls come, i guess. >> jimmy: you got to go, of course, of course. and you're kind of like -- you're not singing. you're not rapping on the song. i listened to it today. i wouldn't say narrating. how would you describe what you're doing on it? >> talking [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that should have been the name of the song, [ bleep ].
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>> [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: what do you and madonna talk about on the couch there? were you there for a while? >> quite a while, quite a while. i have a daughter that attends nyu, school in new york. >> jimmy: right. >> and -- madonna spoke with her. they spoke on the phone. >> jimmy: oh, all right. >> she was very happy. >> jimmy: she was very happy, yeah. had you met madonna before? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: you did? >> on a couple of occasions. one -- >> jimmy: you know where i'm getting at. have you ever made love to madonna? [ laughter ] >> no, no. >> jimmy: you have not? what did you guys do then instead? >> we saw pee wee herman big top. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> hey. with both of our significant others at the time. >> jimmy: you went to a movie with madonna? which significant others at the
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time? what time, what year was this? >> '80s when she was married to sean. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> i was married as well. >> jimmy: that's a double -- that's the craziest double date i ever heard of. >> me and sean fell asleep in the movie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you really? oh, peewee is going to be devastated. >> we like peewee. >> jimmy: well, sure, yeah. >> but we were slightly inebriated. >> jimmy: you were, okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: madonna was able to make it up for the whole movie? >> i have no idea. i slept through it. >> jimmy: you were sleeping, yeah. wow. hey, buddy, wake up! that's not something that's ever happened to you, is it? >> no, no. >> jimmy: no. when you were first becoming famous, which famous person did it excite you most to meet? because the world opened up to
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you at that time. who were you most excited when you first met them? >> i don't know, i can't remember. >> jimmy: you can't remember, yeah. there's nobody that really stands out, somebody i really admired and they approached you? >> well, fighters. i wanted to meet sugar ray leonard. i didn't know i was going to be a fighter. upstate new york, it was 1980. and i wasn't sure, is this stuff working? watching these guys fighting, 20th of 1980. 20th of june. and i said, this is what i want to do the rest of my life. >> jimmy: wow. right that day. >> yeah. that's when it all clicked. this is what i want to do. >> jimmy: then you certainly did it. >> got a little carried away. i get carried away sometimes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> get carried away. >> jimmy: you get carried away a couple of times. those moments are behind you. >> well -- >> jimmy: i think. >> yeah. [ laughter ]
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>> this stuff is starting over again. hi, mike, mike! you have to work with temptations. and laws. and rules. and stuff. never break the law, never break the law. >> jimmy: that's good advice for kids. never break the hah. law. >> say no to dope. drugs, i mean. >> jimmy: and say no to drugs. drugs, dope. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i hope this is not a -- i know you talk about pretty much anything. but they were talking a lot about, it was the anniversary of your fight with buster douglas a few days ago. >> that's pretty interesting. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. do you remember any of that? >> why isn't it buster's anniversary? why does it have to be my anniversary? he won. >> jimmy: i don't think people remember. the circumstances were strange. because you knocked him down i think in the eighth round.
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he got like a very long count. the officials get the count, whatever pace they choose, and you got -- it was like bam bam bam! they counted you out so quickly. >> [ bleep ] happens, man. some of the times the guys were get hurt. i was a big bully back then. i didn't get too much of a break. but it was good. it turned out well. it allowed me to overcome adversity. i'm here now. >> jimmy: well, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i would have you here anyway. >> yeah, thank you. >> jimmy: you were in japan at the time. were you involved in parties? i heard you weren't focused, necessarily. >> well, i had -- i tell you, i get carried away sometimes. you know. listen, so i'm in this -- oh, man. i'm in the hotel. they won't let me out of the hotel.
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they expect me to go to training and come back like i'm some neanderthal that i can't associate with people. i had to hit all the maids. and i guess hitting means having sex with them. >> jimmy: i know what you mean. [ laughter ] >> i didn't mean hitting. i'm not hitting, i'm hitting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. so naturally when one's put in a situation like that -- >> you're not going to lose -- >> jimmy: you've got to have sex with the maids. >> it was so [ bleep ] ugly too. stop, stop. i'm sorry. i don't want to be kicked off the show. no way i was -- >> jimmy: don't worry about it, we'll be fine. we'll be personally [ bleep ]. you're having sex with the maids. and then they clean the room? how does it work? [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> you know. once i go, i'm gone. >> jimmy: you don't know. that makes sense. well, that's what happened in the fight also. >> i go, i go. >> jimmy: i love the idea that you can just have sex with the maids if you want to. >> yeah, but -- we're not going to keep them away from everybody, he's going to have no sex. but i did. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: really good. mike, you made this documentary action you're the producer of this documentary. >> yes, yes, yes. >> jimmy: "champs." very interesting. we all kind of know that boxer don't -- they're not as organized as other sports. because it's an individual sport. but boxers really do get the short end of the stick. >> this is the highest-paying profession in the history of sport.
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and they don't even have federal regulations. >> they don't have a union? >> no. union what? >> jimmy: they don't, yeah. >> they should have a police system around there. really. when you think about it from the beginning of of time, even entertainment, the young kid that's a neophyte, then they have the -- the seedy, slee diabolical manager, promoter. this is what they do, they manipulate the kids, take advantage of kids. you know that stuff. you're in entertainment, you know that stuff. what you are, flesh. you go away, there will be another one. i really -- i'm really grateful i didn't kill anybody. >> jimmy: yeah. that's good. >> i'm grateful. because a lot -- there's no doubt if i didn't have my family and my kids and my responsibilities, and i held on, i didn't give in, throw in the towel of life.
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i held on. look at me now. but there were dark moments where i thought about some guys need to take a little dirt nap, you know? >> jimmy: right. >> i felt really justified by doing that. >> jimmy: i want to first of all thank you for never killing me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i appreciate that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: number two, i heard people see this documentary -- >> a really riveting documentary. it's not about these personalities. it's just about the idiosyncrasies what these people did, what the whole system of fighting is. this is the majority of the vicinity of fighters that we see, they're not going to succeed. end of the game, they're not going to want to look in the mirror. it's just how it turns out. >> jimmy: mike, you're doing your one-man show. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: coming up here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is in robinsonville, mississippi. >> mississippi, man. >> jimmy: mississippi. that is coming up on friday night. that's a great show if you want to see his one-man show. and "champs" opens in theaters and on demand -- >> "champs" is really cool.
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did you see it? >> jimmy: march 13th. i did see it, it's excellent, you did a great thing making it. mike tyson, everybody. be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ hp instant ink can save you up to 50% on ink delivered to your door. so print all you want and never run out. plans start at $2.99 a month. ♪ the most affordable way to print. hp instant ink.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'd like to thank vince vaughn, mike tyson and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. one more question. pacquiao/may weather? who do you think? >> man. pacquiao better do something. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: better do something. thank you. >> it's taken them 100 years to fight. they should be fighting soon yore citizen [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you should get in there we'll see what happens then. >> oh, gosh. >> jimmy: mike tyson, everybody. "nightline" is next. good night! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, caught in the middle. what would you do if doctors said your new baby could be either a boy or a girl, and an irreversible decision had to be made? this happens more often than you might think. tonight you're going to meet the parents who say their child's doctors picked the wrong sex. one man now seeking answers from the surgeon who changed his life. in an instant. they lived through a catastrophic event. >> i accepted that was where i was going to die. >> a bridge filled with commuters and even a school bus collapsing suddenly. now the untold stories of survival and what it's like to come out the other end. incredible hulk. that is a whole lot of dog. and he is taking the internet by storm.

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