>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- bette midler. dwayne johnson. the next bachelorette. and music from the afghan whigs. with cleto and the cletones. and now, for the time being, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming.

i'm glad you made it. i don't want to dampen your enthusiasm, i really don't. today happens to be one of my least favorite day of the year. it's the monday after daylight saving time starts. it's terrible. it throws me completely out of whack. 6:30 becomes 7:30, 7:30 becomes 8:30, what does 8:30 become? 9:30. i don't know why they do this. even if it is necessary, which it isn't, why do we have to spring forward all at once? can't we tipty toe forward one minute a day over two months? i am proud of myself. yesterday i got in my car, i looked at the clock, i'll admit it took 12 minutes to do it while i was driving but i did manage to adjust the time in my car one hour ahead. i've never done it on the day before. usually i wait until november and it gets back even. but i did it yesterday. i still haven't adjusted in any event clocks in my house. i'll need four to six weeks.

we can send a satellite to mars, yet we cannot have a microwave that automatically adjusts its clock. [ cheers and applause ] for those who don't know daylight savings time was put into practice so farmers could propose to their reality dating show contestants an hour later. [ cheers and applause ] earlier tonight on abc the season finale of what i think was the most popular seasons "the bachelor" ever, a show chris harrison promised would be like nothing we've ever seen before. of course he was lying about that. pretty much like everything we'd seen before. it all came down to whitney, the fertility nurse with the voice of a muppet, and bekaa, the chiropractic assistant/virgin. prince farming got down on one knee and proposed to whitney. he said making this choice was the hardest game of eney miny mo he'd ever played.

it wasn't much of a choice. whitney kept talking about how deep hi in love with him she was. bekaa kept saying this. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> well, i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i don't feel like you know if i know what you want. >> i don't know. >> we've got to get her on "jeopardy" immediately. do we still have phone a friend? in fairness, i don't know happens to be the way you should feel when the guy you're dating is also dating someone else between commercial breaks. that seems very reasonable to me. but despite the ridiculousness that is inherent to the idea of a televised husband-finding competition, "the bachelor" is i think you'll agree above all else an amazing journey at the end of which the winner is forced to live in a bleak, uninhabited town that's so small it doesn't even have a starbucks. but the journey was still amazing nonetheless.

>> we're going on an amazing journey. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing journey. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> journey. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing! >> journey. >> amazing. >> what do you think? >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing journey. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> journey. >> an amazing journey. >> jimmy: you know what? going to the moon is an amazing journey. riding a hot dog to a deserted field -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations to chris and whitney, i hope it works out. even if it doesn't it won't matter because we've moved on to "the bachelorette" which this season it turns out, two bachelorettes. tonight on the -- after the final rose special they announced there will be two bachelorettes, britt and kaitlyn will duke it out. basically the way it's going to work is the men in the house

will vote and after the vote one of the women will remain the bachelorette and the other will be thrown out of a helicopter. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: two bachelorettes. i like that. by the way, they're both here on our show tonight. they're here with us. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think, this is what i would do, i think they should pick each other. then it will just be a bunch of guys living in a house for no reason, right? so stay tuned for our after the final road special. i talk about the bachelor, it's not just because i enjoy watching it, i also work behind the scenes on the show. not many people know this but i am the sound effects guy for "the bachelor." i do sound effects work. i reserve invite you to join me behind the scenes. ♪ >> jimmy: so this is my fantasy suite. this is what we call a foley studio. we make sound effects here. this is my sound engineer brian.

you watch "the bachelor" you know he kisses a lot of the women. play the clip, brian, i'll show you how it works exactly. okay, so it's fun to watch. but there's not much for the ears. my job is to make the sounds jump off the screen and into you. your brain. what do you think, brian? bowling ball or honeydew melon? melon? okay. roll it. [ smooching noises ] >> jimmy: every kiss is different. the key is to match the lips, the mood, and the lady. we say lml. there's the will you accept this rose kiss. >> will you accept this rose? >> thank you so much. [ slurping noises ]

>> jimmy: this season we had a lot of this one, the i'm a virgin kiss. >> i am a virgin. [ sucking noises ] >> jimmy: you never know what will give you the best sound. could be a 12-ounce hunk of cheese. it could be an ear of corn. you don't know until you put your lips on it. when the bachelor kisses a woman's hand? it's deceptively difficult. you have to use a real hand. and you can't just use any hand. >> okay, okay. good. what are you using on your lips? >> jimmy: vegetable oil -- >> those are soft. great to see you. >> jimmy: my favorite kiss is hands-down the final rose kiss. that's the moment.

>> oh! >> will you marry me? >> absolutely. [ slurping noises ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the hardest thing about the job is probably taking all my stuff home. you know, i have a lot of stuff. for some reason, nobody ever helps me carry it. >> jimmy: thanks. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: one of the things i do, one of my gifts. by the way, chris harrison's hand tastes just like cocoa

butter. san francisco today, apple officially unveiled the apple watch, the first wearable device from the apple family. there it is, a touch screen, you can take calls, you can buy merchandise using apple pay. you can read e-mails. you can send messages. am i the only one who thought they were drawing a penis? even does the most amazing thing of all. it tells time. which is incredible. they say it's the most personal device they've ever created. there are three versus of it. the apple watch sport, $349. the apple watch, $549. the apple watch edition which is made of 18-karat gold starts at $10,000, caps out at $17,000, depending upon how eager you are to get mugged. the great thing i've seen about this -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: i haven't tried the apple watch. when you're driving, you can also use it to shield your face when you run into a light pole.

you know what i'm saying? [ bugling ] >> jimmy: what that is? where is guillermo? guillermo! >> guillermo: it is the best show! it is the guillermo show! now he's your host, guillermo! ♪ >> guillermo: hola, hola, hola! [ crowd yelling hola ] >> guillermo: welcome to the guillermo show. say hello to my band. hello, band! did you hear about kim kardashian who dyed her hair blond? exactly who [ bleep ]? i'm very excited about my first guest. he's so handsome. his movie called "san andreas" comes out may 29th. please welcome my best friend!

[ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo! guillermo, the door's locked! >> guillermo: hold on. >> it's locked! >> guillermo: i'll help you! oh, yeah, it is locked. it is locked. >> wow! [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: hola! >> hola, hola, hola! [ crowd chanting hola ] >> jimmy: what is going on here? guillermo. why is dwayne johnson -- dwayne johnson is on your show? >> yes, dwayne johnson is on guillermo's show. i got to tell you why. guillermo, you are the best hands-down late-night host of all-time! [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: thank you, thank you. you're the best guest. all-time.

now it's time to play "the rock or roll!" wait, wait. is this rock or roll? >> that would be a rock. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: how about this one? >> she's happy, she's very happy i got that right. right there is a roll. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yes. how about this one? >> that would be a rock. >> guillermo: wow! [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: and the last one? >> that would be in fact a rock and a roll. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah! great job. thank you for playing "a rock or roll." tell us about this new movie "san andreas." >> the movie coming out what date? >> guillermo: may 29th.

>> my good man. yes. plus look at that, you got it. >> guillermo: it's working, huh? >> yes, it is. and she's happy. i love it. happy effect you have, guillermo. "san andreas" is a movie with the largest ever recorded earthquake hitting california and the effects that it has across the country, feeling it in the east coast, and it's also about a mission of a man who is doing everything he can to find his daughter. >> guillermo: oh, and you brought a clip for sinus. >> i did, of course i did. i wouldn't show up on the latest show in late-night television without a clip. >> guillermo: roll the clip!

[ sirens ] ♪ >> i'm going to get you out! come on! are you hurt? are you hurt? [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: wow. that was a very good clip. >> thank you. >> guillermo: thank you for being on my show, mr. duane johnson. >> it's a pleasure, guillermo, thank you. it's like looking in the mirror every time i look at you. >> guillermo: "san andreas" in

theaters may 29th. we'll be right back with "spin the wheel with the bachelorette!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: spin the bottle, right? late night television is getting so competitive. it really is. hey, we have a good show today. we have music from the afghan whigs, dueling bachelorettes britt and kaitlin are here. be right back with bette midler! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (spoken in japanese) (spoken in japanese)

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only at your lincoln dealer. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, from cincinnati, ohio -- here it is. the latest album from afghan whigs from the at&t stage. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? good to see you. >> good to see you. oh, look at this. >> jimmy: you want to just hang

out? >> no, sorry to interrupt, i'm parked in the back. >> jimmy: oh, all right. just passing through. i'm going to fix you, you son of a -- what, you can't hang around? >> watch your show? >> jimmy: yeah. >> no, i'm good. i'm just going to go. >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> love you, good to see you, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: also tonight, not one but both of this season's bachelorettes britt and kaitlyn are here. two will enter, only one will remain. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know but you but i am so interested in how they're going to do this. there's a good chance we'll have a hair-pulling incident. tomorrow night from "american idol," judges harry connick jr., keith urban, and j. lo will be here, eric andre will be with us, keith urban will play for us. wednesday liam neeson, octavia spencer, awolnation.

thursday sean penn and president barack obama will be here. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight we have britt and kaitlyn, the bachelorettes, and thursday we'll have barack obama and sean penn. we like to mix things up here. our first guest is a legend wrapped in an icon inside a suit, a multi gold and platinum selling recording artist and a tony, golden globe, and emmy-winning performer who you can see in one or all of the 22-city tour. the divine intervention tour starts may 8th at the hard rock live in hollywood, florida. please welcome bette midler! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. >> thank you, i'm very happy to

be here. >> jimmy: it's really good. >> that sounds great. >> jimmy: i learned something today i was unaware of. obviously we have a lot in common what with the talent and all that. but you started in radio. >> i did. >> jimmy: in local radio. >> i didn't exactly start in radio, i was a clerk in a radio station. i was a traffic manager at a radio station. a very short amount of time. >> jimmy: not on the air? >> never on the air, no, no. i was the person who logged the commercials, the promotions for the deejay. >> jimmy: how long did you do that? >> a week. two weeks. i was actually at two stages. i was a very well known station in hawaii, then i went to an even more well known station. i don't know how i got that gig. because i'm completely incapable of doing anything clerical at all. i can't file, i can't type, i can't do anything. how dumb am i? >> jimmy: how dumb they did not recognize they should put you on the air. it seems you'd walk into a place and you'd go, this is a star.

>> you could not put yourself forward. it was an all-male thing. in those days, early 60s. it was only male deejays, they were all very -- there were no female deejays in those days. the women were doing this. the men were doing this. it's what it was. you know. i never wanted to be on radio. i had no clue. >> jimmy: i see. >> i didn't think of it as a performing medium. now that i look at you and realize what a star you are and that you came from radio too, i should have known. >> jimmy: we live and we learn. >> i didn't make that leap. bam. is it too late? >> jimmy: did you go directly from those jobs to performance, doing music? >> i got a tiny job in a movie, "hawaii." the movie "hawaii" came from l.a. to shoot in hawaii. i got a job as an extra. with that little bit of money that i made from that job, i came to new york. and i started looking around for work in new york. the first thingdy in new york was i sold gloves. i had never worn a glove in my

life. i'm from hawaii. what are gloves? what do they do with these? and i had that job for about three weeks until they figured out that i didn't know what i was doing. and then not long after that i got a job at bloomingdale's, the department store, selling -- i think i was selling mirrors. that was also a catastrophe. it was very sad. >> jimmy: did you get fired? >> i got so fired, oh my god. >> jimmy: you were fired from every job. >> i was fired and i cried, begged them to stay, but they said, no, you're incapable. >> jimmy: really? were you showing up on time? >> that part i got. that part. the discipline part of showing up on time. i got that. but the actual, you know, cash register, you know. those days it was cash registers and it would go bing! and you'd go, oh my god. and not just that, the worst part was the stuff that you had to do when they would bring things back. they would be so outraged. they wanted their money back. i had no idea how to do that transaction. oh my god. here, you do it.

i would go and hide. >> jimmy: you can't hide when a return comes in. >> that's why when i go into a store and someone is a good salesperson i have such respect for them. kud kudos, baby. that's not easy. that is not an easy job. >> jimmy: it actually is easy. [ laughter ] >> oh, well. so it's easy if you have that -- [ applause ] that's not fair. it's easy if you have that skill set. if you don't have that skill set, it's really, really hard. >> jimmy: well, when you were on stage and you got -- >> that's my skill set. >> jimmy: you got this big show and you do these -- you have contraptions and a big stage -- >> i do. >> jimmy: did those intimidate you? >>. >> no, tat rule. how does it work? get me on it. i'm not intimidated in the least. i live on the stage. the stage is my home. so i know the stage very, very well. it's interesting as the years have gone by and the shows have

gotten bigger and i've pecuniary more and more of an environmentalist, i'm less and less inclined to take the gigantic shows. >> jimmy: because of that? interesting. >> the big ones are 40 trucks and buses. that's too much poison in the air. so i try to keep them down. i have two queens and a hot tub. very, very small. very small show. >> jimmy: a small team? >> it's going to be a small team. >> jimmy: you had a volcano. >> anything having to do with hawaii, i've done it. i've worn a fish tail, wore a fish tail for 35 years. >> jimmy: i remember that well, never took it off. >> those days are over. >> jimmy: it's interesting that you're from hawaii. i know you're from hawaii but if we just met i would never guess hawaii. >> i know. >> jimmy: you don't seem like you're laid back enough. >> no i'm not laid back at all. i think that's why -- i didn't have a lard time but it wasn't the greatest childhood. because i was very energetic, very hyperactive. and i think they didn't understand that, really. >> jimmy: that doesn't go over

on an island, yeah. things move very slowly. >> hawaiian time they call it. i was on new york time. in hawaii. >> jimmy: good thing you moved. >> it is. >> jimmy: so this tour is your first tour in like ten years, right? >> that's what they told me. >> jimmy: what have you been doing? >> i was in vegas for two years. >> jimmy: okay. >> i did 20 weeks in vegas for two years. that was really something to see. >> jimmy: did you enjoy it? that's where i grew up. >> you did? wow. >> jimmy: yeah. >> how did that happen? hook at you, you're like a normal guy. >> jimmy: not really. >> not really? oh, there's -- that guy in those bermuda shorts is back there somewhere. >> jimmy: appearances can be deceiving. >> 117 degrees in the summertime. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was unbearable. and the thing about -- that's so interesting about vegas, there's nothing there, really. there's nothing there. you can gamble. you can eat. but other than that, it's like -- it's a desert. >> jimmy: you can smoke. [ laughter ] you forgot smoking.

that's a fun thing to do. >> yeah, that's a fun thing to do. i have to say the first -- i was there for the crash. i was there when the crash happened. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> 2008 to 2010. ? that hit vegas hard. >> it was ground zero. it was interesting. i had a little suite -- little suite. i had a gigantic suite at caesar's palace. they were building this new building this new gigantic tower across from my suite. i'd wake up and the cranes and the workers and they're coming and climbing and one day -- the day after the crash, they walked away. and the cranes were there. the cranes never moved again. and the people just walked away. they took their lunch pails and walked away. and i was like, i never saw that before. that's really fascinating. i was completely -- >> jimmy: and they stole everything. the copper wires all got stolen. >> i'll tell you something, they had those gated communities. i shouldn't be saying this, this

is terrible. >> jimmy: it's okay, i'm a native, yeah. >> gigantic gated xhurnts and people just got in their cars and drove away. huge communities with nobody in them. like one car. if you would drive by them it was really frightening. >> jimmy: it was. >> scary. >> jimmy: the important thing is people are gambling again. >> i like your attitude. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i feel that i have to ask you, this is one of the greatest photographs i think i've ever seen. so it's you sitting on david bowie's lap. obviously michael jackson in the middle. kim wilde? >> gorgeous. >> jimmy: and cher. what was happening here? >> i think this is madame tussaud's. >> jimmy: no, no, no. those are all real people. i think. >> well, tell you the truth, i don't have an f'ing clue. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i have no idea, i don't know. i tell you something, i'm

thrilled to see i met michael jackson. i was racking any brain to say, did i ever meet that guy? i was on "we are the world." i was on that song. before you were born. >> jimmy: it's the 30th anniversary. >> is it really? wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> i was there for that. that was fascinating. they put me next to bruce springsteen. we were right -- i was in the center. and all of a sudden michael jackson and quincy jones came in. they moved me to the end of the line. next to la toya. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> i swear to god. i swear to god i'm sitting there -- >> jimmy: that's not right. you should not have been in la toyaville. la toya shouldn't have been there, let's be honest. >> wait a minute, she's in the family. >> jimmy: a lot of people in the family. i didn't see tio around there. >> way, way in the back. >> jimmy: well, when we come back we have something special.

you know the kardashians personally? >> i have met kim. i do not know the kardashians. i don't want to put myself forward as a huge fan but i find them very interesting. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> i think they're a phenomenon. my husband and i actually honored them with -- maybe it's not an honor, i never thought of it. we have chickens. so we had a trio of chickens. we named our chickens after the kardashians. >> jimmy: that is an honor. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back with the kardashian chickens. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the volkswagen jetta is really fun-to-drive. go for it.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, the bachelorette and the afghan whigs too. first here to sing some of the famous tweets from a woman for whom she named one of her chickens, miss kim kardashian, please welcome bette midler! note what color is that dress i see white and gold ♪ ♪ kanye sees black and ♪ we're color blind ♪ i hate falling asleep with all my makeup on ♪ ♪ by thatty bopty boo ♪ i never thought i'd say this but

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bette midler, everybody. hard rock live in hollywood, florida. thank you very much. we'll be right back with the bachelorettes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. great . beer, meat, and cheese. oh, and great friends to share them with. introducing the new bar snacks & apps menu. nothing makes you want to show up to the party sooner, stay out later, or one up louder. get a lot more bang, for a lot less buck. new bar snacks start under $5

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. >> dicky: this week on "jimmy kimmel live." jennifer lopez. hee i am neeson. sean penn. and president barack obama. with music from awolnation. and keith urban. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. >> we're coming back. >> jimmy: to return willie nelson's pig tails. [indistinct high pitched speech] ♪ ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, music from the afghan whigs. if you missed "the bachelor" tonight cover your eyes and mute your tv, spoiler alert, an enormous secret was revealed after the final rose. two of them, in fact. they're here tonight. please welcome the battling bachelorettes britt and kaitlyn! [ cheers and applause ]

♪ >> jimmy: first of all, congratulations. but i wonder whose diabolical idea was this to pit you two against each other in this way? >> was it yours? >> it was mine? >> jimmy: did you like this idea? >> it's probably not ideal but i think we're handling it well. >> if it had to be anybody i'm glad it's dakaitlyn. >> jimmy: how did you find out the two of you were be bachelorettes? >> ring! >> jimmy: great news, you're going to be the bachelorette. bad news, there will be another? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you call each other after? >> i texted right away. i was like, so, what? >> and i said, yeah, what? >> jimmy: you don't even like

each other, right? >> hate each other. no, no, no. if it had to be anybody -- it's like we won the lottery together. >> it's all good. >> it's not like we have the same taste in guys or anything. >> jimmy: that would be a problem. what is going to happen if you guys zero in on the one guy in the house -- that would be so great if you guys liked the same guy. >> it will happen, i'm sure. >> jimmy: not that i'm wishing any controversy. but boy would that be something else. that would be great. how's it going to work? do you know the guys are going to decide whether you stay? >> are you asking or telling? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> we don't know either. >> jimmy: no one's explained the rules to you? i have a feeling they don't know the rules yet and they're probably going to make them up as they go along. >> yeah, i believe you. >> jimmy: so there could be a situation where you're like both in the hot tub, or maybe you'd both be in a hot tub with one guy. >> imagine us in a hot tub with one guy. >> jimmy: that's true. we got in a hot tub together already, i forgot about that. >> i've been in weirder hot

tubs. >> 85 been in the weirdest hot tub ever. we were in the hot tub together. yeah i was so locked in on chris, i didn't even notice to be honest. >> i know, i felt very left out. >> jimmy: so, yeah, because then it could be like double dates but then maybe you switch dates in the middle of it? they could have you guys sleeping together. you could be on bunk beds. >> we've been there. >> jimmy: is there any possibility the two of you will make out during the course of this season? >> oh, jimmy. >> jimmy: that's a yes? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm wondering, will the guys have to get two roses to stay? >> i think your guess -- >> jimmy: two of you, how will that work? >> i don't know. that's not a bad idea. >> jimmy: we don't know anything. >> maybe they'll have to face a wall. >> jimmy: i'm throwing this out -- >> are you getting paid for this? >> jimmy: of course i'm getting paid for this. this is my hobby?

that i come here? i built this desk. this is -- my mom let me borrow this couch. neither one of you had any intention of moving to arlington, iowa. yes? let's be honest. right now. let's put this to rest. >> no, actually, if this doesn't work out we're going to move there. >> jimmy: moving to arlington together in the real estate seems inexpensive. >> we're going to open up the bank. >> jimmy: you could open a coffee shop, they don't have anything like that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: no anger towards chris? anything right now? >> no. >> jimmy: you guys are going to have to be the ones breaking people's hearts. >> yeah. >> jimmy: all of a sudden, the shoe's on the other foot. >> oh-oh. >> jimmy: maybe you have an appreciation for what chris was going through when he had to break up with you guys. do you want to practice on me? well, why don't you go ahead and practice and pretend i'm one of the guys. we'll see. because one of you is ultimately going to be the bachelorette. who wants to go first? >> go ahead. >> jimmy: kaitlyn, you go first.

pretend i'm one of the bachelors and you're dumping me. >> jimmy. >> jimmy: yes? >> we had a beautiful moment in the hot tub. our connection was -- instant. i love staring deep into your eyes. but unfortunately, there's somebody else who has my heart. >> jimmy: who is this son of a bitch? [ laughter ] >> guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guillermo's stole an lot from me today. >> guillermo: wow. wow, thank you. thank you so much. >> love you. >> jimmy: switch spots. now you. okay, all right. here we go. britt? break my heart. >> i love you so this is going to be hard. >> jimmy: oh! >> really. >> jimmy: this is good. >> this has been an amazing journey. >> jimmy: that's a dollar penalty. >> but, you know, i've just been

hearing some things, some of the people in the house actually came to me, and they said you're kind of causing a lot of drama. >> jimmy: hm, not me. >> you're kind of a drama queen. >> jimmy: you can tell kelsey that. >> you know, you need to be here for the right reasons. i did a little digging and i found out you're married. >> jimmy: oh, [ bleep ]. forgot about that. >> and, yeah, matt damon just told me exactly how bad you are. >> jimmy: oh, no. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can hit. let me just say one thing. you can't hit the guys on the show, against the rules, so i'm glad we got that out of the way. >> i appreciate that. >> jimmy: congratulations to both of you. i cannot wait. i've never been more excited. i watch this show with a group of people and all along the two of you have been the ones they wanted to be the bachelorette. britt and kaitlyn, kaitlyn and britt. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how fortunate we can

have body of you as the bachelorette. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: go ahead, if you want to make out, now is the time to do it. britt and kaitlyn, everybody. season 11 of "the bachelorette" on abc. we'll be right back with the afghan whigs! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. yeah, i'm married. does it matter?

you'd do that for me? really? yeah, i'd like that. who are you talking to? uh, it's jake from state farm. sounds like a really good deal. jake from state farm at three in the morning. who is this? it's jake from state farm. what are you wearing, jake from state farm? [ jake ] uh... khakis. she sounds hideous. well she's a guy, so... [ male announcer ] another reason more people stay with state farm. get to a better state. ♪ "what is it that we can do that is impactful?" what the cloud enables is computing to empower cancer researchers. it used to take two weeks to sequence and analyze a genome;

with the microsoft cloud we can analyze 100 per day. whatever i can do to help compute a cure for cancer, that's what i'd like to do. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: what a night. i want to thank bette midler, dwayne johnson, britt and kaitlyn good luck, i hope you guys stay till the end and they kick all the guys off the show. >> we'll find love. stay together. >> jimmy: of course, they always find love on "the bachelorette." i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him tonight. "nightline" is next, but first, their album "do to the beast." here with the song "the lottery," the afghan whigs! ♪

♪ ♪ let it be light, baby where there's none memories bite, baby never done ♪ ♪ i control, collect collide come in slow but that's alright ♪ ♪ let it be night, baby come undone, yeah ♪ ♪ let it be night baby watch them run ♪ ♪ the enemy lies waiting for the sun

i control, collect collide to let go ♪ ♪ is to bet your life let it be light, baby 'til there's none the lottery ♪ ♪ the ritual the consequence the criminal come back to me ♪ ♪ i've been them all come bedtime come bad times ♪

♪ let it be night then i'm born again ♪ ♪ remedy disguise the poison pen you let her slip out of ♪ the tourniquet again, yeah ♪ ♪ the lottery still waiting for the show a part of me can't let it go i'll fade to black ♪ ♪ a parable incognizant incomparable ♪

♪ and now we've reached the end one for now one for always one for me ♪ ♪ one for yourself i'm ready i'm ready ready ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." >> tonight, a league of their own. it's an invite-only dating group that promises to put attractive, successful singles within reach. now 100,000 people are trying to get into the league. tonight we ask, is it really worth the wait? from the outside she's flawless. underneath all the glamor it's a whole different story. >> i had a corset squeezing me within an inch of my life. >> behinds scenes of a new classic and into the making of a thoroughly modern princess. larger than life. to millions of followers josh is known as the fat jewish on purpose. tonight katie couric is with this social media sensation talking his plans to be the new oprah. >> you get a