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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 17, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

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>> announcer: from austin, texas -- it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- julia louis-dreyfus, director, robert rodriguez, plus, music from gary clark jr., and spoon, with cleto and the cletones. presented by ibm cloud solutions. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪
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[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: how are you guys? everybody all right? welcome to the beautiful, we on the road tonight. thank you. that's very nice. [cheers and applause] goodnight, everybody. ♪ oh, thank you. i really appreciate that. that's very nice, and oh, i'm going to say, how about this. gary clark junior is here with us.
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thank you for joining us. thanks to all of you. we really appreciate, thank you for lining up to get in here. and happy st. patrick's day, everybody. finally, an excuse for people here in austin to drink. today is st. patrick's day. and tomorrow is throw up in the little trash bin in your hotel room day. we have a cherished st. patrick's day tradition on our show, no matter where we are. i don't know how many years in a row we've observed this one. but the video you're about to see dates back to 2006. it happened about 600 mile's way from here in mobile, alabama where a whole community spun into an all-out frenzy thanks to a real-life leprechaun that was spotted in a tree. >> reporter: curiosity, many bringing binoculars, camcorders and camera phones to take
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pictures. >> to me, it looks like a leprechaun. who else think it's a leprechaun? say yay! >> yay! >> jimmy: it's the best local news segment ever produced. it gets better from there. >> reporter: eyewitnesses say the leprechaun only comes out at night. if you shine the light in its direction it suddenly disappears. this amateur sketch resembles what the leprechaun looks like. >> jimmy: please, folks, please be on the lookout for an acorn with a hat on and no mouth. i would pay a lot of money for that original artwork. a lot of people think they saw a help ra con, which is crazy. but this woman offered another explanation. >> reporter: others find it hard to believe and have come up with their own theories and explanations for the image. >> it's a crackhead! and they're up in a tree to play
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a help ra con. >> i think that's probably what it was. nine years later we were somehow able to track the leprechaun down. is he here with us tonight? there he is, the leprechaun from mobile, alabama. [cheers and applause] oh, and speaking of leprechauns, where is our little pal guillermo? guillermo, where are you? oh, there he is. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. that's guillermo, everybody. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: guillermo's had a
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tough day. you've been taking a lot of pedi cabs this week, haven't you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: a pedi cab is a nice alternative to getting anywhere in a timely fashion. i personally don't like taking pedi cabs. i feel too guilty because they're up there sweating, i'm in the back-checking instagram. by the way, has anybody thought about mani pedi cabs? somebody paints your nails during the ride? i'd like to get some funding for that. how are you feeling today, guillermo? >> right now, better, jimmy. in the morning was rough. >> jimmy: we had a big party. brad paisley played at it. we had a few drinks. i went home at midnight, even though you had a call time at 6:00 this morning. you chatted with robert rodrigu rodriguez. >> yeah, everything's great.
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>> jimmy: what did you eat today? >> actually, i didn't eat anything today. >> jimmy: really. >> i feel really bad. i feel like if i eat i'm going to -- >> jimmy: really? >> i'm going to throw up. >> jimmy: i've already eaten the entire cast of the movie "babe." i had breakfast tacos f de deli. franklin barbecue sent food over. breakfast tacos are different. the first breakfast taco appeared in austin in the early '80s. no one knows for sure who invented it. all we know is they were definitely stoned when they d the recipe is you take a flour tortilla and turn your fridge on its side and dump everything into it. there is food everywhere. there is so many food trucks.
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i've been asking how this food truck thing started. my idea was it was an ice cream man who couldn't take that song any more. traffic is so bad at south by southwest that the trucks started pulling over and serving chicken. south by southwest is a music, film and interactive festival. [ applause ] every single person who's going to buy an apple watch is in town visiting right now. if the aliens landed this week, they'd think south by southwest is a place where people with lanyards come to reproduce. it's also, by the way, a great place to get tote bags. i've been here four days. i have so many tote bags that i will forget to take with me to the grocery store i don't know what to do with them. i need a tote bag to tote my tote bags in. between the beers and the lanyards, it's a miracle smi of
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you are hooking up on today is the day when all of the conferences overlap. they make everyone go to the high school auditorium. they call it convergence day. any moment now arnold schwarzenegger is expected to pop out of the time portal to try to prevent convergence day from happening. all over town tonight you can see rock, country, jazz, rap, blues, and if all those are sold out, you can see world music. there are so many great bands here to see through the iphone of the person recording in front of you. there are more than 2200 music acts in over 100 venues. and there are a lot of new artists. it's just about impossible to know all of them. but that doesn't necessarily stop people from claiming they
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do. last year at south by southwest we went out on the street to ask people about fake bands. these are bands that are not playing this festival or any festival because they do not exist. but will music fans here pretend to know music from a bunch of bands we made up? yes, they will in this special south by southwest 2015 edition of "lie witness news." welcome to south by southwest. >> thank you. >> are you excited about alt great music here? >> i'm so excited. >> some amazing bands. do you like mary-kate and nasty? >> i do. >> what do you like about their sound. >> i like the whole thing generally. i just like their kind of funky, poppy sound. >> what do you think about deejay underwire? do you like his music? >> he's mixing it up with turn tablism, scratching, it's something lost on some of the
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newer age deejays. >> what do you think about police and little brother cheese whiz? >> one of my friends is really into him. he's showed me a lot more than i've been exposed to. >> what do you love about eddie and the man purse. >> well, man purse is the band, and eddie is the lead singer, sow pretty much get to seat whole man purse. like you get to see the whole band. >> can you describe their sound? >> it's like an mmmm. >> what do you think of deejay gluten? do you like his sound? >> i like it. i could get it on my phone, actually. i like some of it. >> what's your favorite deejay gluten song. >> i'm sorry, i don't have the names and everything. the actual song titles. >> like crackers?
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>> that's probably what it is. >> what about deejay cialis. do you like his vibe? >> he's got the high hat. and you're like, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> do you think deejay cialis gets the crowd up? >> yeah. yeah. yeah. everybody's jamming, you know. >> is deejay cialis is a little dangerous if he lasts more than four hours? >> dangerous? really? >> how about vlad and the putins? the russian punk band. >> i like him. >> have you heard that he takes his shirt off? >> i haven't seen that. >> did you see the performance where he rode in on a horse. >> oh, my god, i did. that was really exciting. >> what do you think about straight out of silver lane's ashley and the kecow
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you have seen them live. >> only once. >> was it crazy? >> it was insane. >> did you catch any? >> little bit. i think the hair catches some. >> deejay chanel. >> yes, i saw him in france when i was in lyonne. >> i think i heard some of his sound in lyonne. >> do you like his song just married? >> i do. i think it was there. >> were you excited to hear deejay jimmy and the kimmels this year? >> did you say jimmy and the kimmels? not jimmy kimmel, but like -- >> yeah, like lie witness news. >> why not? why not? >> do you like the band jimmy
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kimmel just made me lie for like 15 minutes? >> yes. >> what do you think about the band so much marijuana. >> i like marijuana, i lot an of marijuana. so so much marijuana is a good name for a band, and also we need to pass this law in texas, 2015 legalize marijuana in all 52 states, period! >> jimmy: well done. we have a lot of fun here tonight. we have music tonight from spoon. gary clark jr. is here with the cletones. director robert rodriguez is here. we are live from the long center in austin, texas. we'll be right back julia louis-dreyfus. so stick around! ♪
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♪ whoo-hoo ♪ whoo-hoo >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the ibm global entrepreneur program. innovate a new way, and together we'll change the world.
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♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: gary clark jr. is sitting in with the cletones. this is his album, "gary clark jr. live." sounds fantastic, thank you, gary. tonight, a noted director who makes his home in austin and he has his own tv network too, called the el rey network, robert rodriguez is here. [cheers and applause] then later, more local flavor. from right here in austin, this is their album called "they want my soul," spoon from the at&t stage. [cheers and applause] we will be here all week. our guests include the quarterback from the dallas cowboys tony romo, dale watson, james bay, willie nelson, the weeknd.
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norman reedus, melissa mcbride and steven yuen from "the walking dead." hannibal buress, bill murray and kanye west will walk among us. [cheers and applause] you know, we did something to our audience last night. a little freak and a souvenir we call a guillermo it's like flat stanley. this guy posted him in front of the cannon, which is a good spot. this is a good one, i brought guillermo home to hang out with oprah. here's one, not my room key, but here he is. guillermo in austin. here's one that i really like. this is a leprechaun. here we go. you sure can you handle another one of these so soon? you're literally tipsy, here,
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guillermo in austin. here's another on the same theme. there's guillermo as i expect he will eventually perish with his head in a giant shot of tequila. that is guillermo's doppelganger. guy took a picture of his wife in the shower with guillermo. and this is very sweet. this is how these women went to bed, with vision of guillermos dransi dancing in their head. if you want one of your open, you can download him at jimmy kimmel live.com. and we're going to give some to our audience here. that's right, you get a flato. and you get a flato, you all get a flato. our first guest, her very funny
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show "veep" please welcome julia louie dreyfus. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> hello! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i am so great. i am never leaving this space. this is unbelievable. >> jimmy: have you had fun so far? >> i've had -- on your show? >> jimmy: well, i mean in austin. >> yeah, i've had fun in austin. yes. it's been crazy. there's a bridge here. i think a lot of you guys know about this, but maybe the people watching it, there's some bridge that has a million bats under it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and people line up to see the
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bats leave at sunset. >> jimmy: yes. >> and you know where the bats go? >> jimmy: no. >> they go to a mall in san antonio. i swear to you, i'm not making that up. apparently the mall smells really bad, because they all go poop there. >> jimmy: wow, what a commercial for the mall. >> yeah. that's where i got this dress. >> jimmy: what have you here? >> well, it's st. paddy's day, isn't it? >> jimmy: it is indeed. >> soy thought we should have a toast. >> jimmy: why not? is that real stuff? >> yes. >> jimmy: wouldn't that be f ffunny if it never opened? >> oh, jeez. >> jimmy: what is it? >> it's whiskey. >> jimmy: i hope it's irish whiskey. >> it is. i have a great irish toast.
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i'm going to find a good one. this is a good one. ready? you got to look at me. may your trouser the ride high and your bonnet sit tight. [cheers and applause] you just drank it, the whole thing? >> jimmy: yeah, weren't we supposed to. >> i'm sipping it. >> jimmy: it's a shot glass. now i'm embarrassed like i have a problem. well, let me -- pour me -- [cheers and applause] may all your charms be lucky and your shamrocks be shaked. [cheers and applause] ♪ [cheers and applause] >> wait, i got one. oh, yeah, here's a good
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[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: this is not responsible drinking. >> this is a good one. may all your your seans be connery. >> jimmy: you may have to carry me out of here by the way. [cheers and applause] one -- >> oh, come on. >> jimmy: may your sorrows be short and forgotten, and may your last name be long and pretentious. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] ♪ ah! by the way, i just want to point out, this is real whiskey. >> yes. >> jimmy: if anyone wants to come verify this, i'd be more than happy to --
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[cheers and applause] guillermo, grab somebody and have them come up. yeah, this is -- now it looks like we've set this up, which we didn't, by the way. >> hello. >> jimmy: are you of age? how old are you? >> 31. >> jimmy: can i see some i.d.? all right, you don't have a microphone on. can you pass that to her and let her taste that or smell it or whatever she wants to do to verify this >> it's real. >> she'll drink from the [cheers and applause] >> yeah, man! >> jimmy: thank you very much.
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guillermo, take this woman back to your hotel. we have to take a break, but when we come back. >> you're slurring your words. >> jimmy: i know. am i already? >> a little. >> jimmy: am i really? it's st. patrick's day. >> we have to take a break. >> jimmy: when we come back, i'm going to punch somebody in the face. we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by ibm. and formidable. ones whose extracurriculars are working and parenting and working some more. with gpas that include grit. perseverance.
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so when you see this photo that you were working on. that's not good. you're flaring your nostrils. >> it feels natural. >> you watch me. see if you can mimic this, okay? more like this. like -- you see that? that's right, honey, no. no. that was good. that looked happy, even if you're not happy. that's the trick. you got to make sure she has height here, a lot of volume, because her skull is low. kind of indented. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: by the way, i love the
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show "veep" as you know, and i watched the first two episodes, and it's hilarious, your character is president. i'm drunk by the way. >> you can hear it. you're slurring your words, but you're a charming host. >> jimmy: i'm trying to pretend i'm not. i watched the show sober, and i laughed a lot, how about that? >> that's so good, >> jimmy: you -- i should pours another drink. [cheers and applause] your character is now not the veep any more. she's the president. >> she is the president right now. >> jimmy: which i'm sure everybody's asked you if you are going to change the name of the show. >> no, for a variety of reasons, and you'll have to tune in to discover that. one thing we are going to change
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is that short hair look. that's going bye-bye. >> jimmy: you're going to lose that? >> i look like dustin hoffman in cramer versus cramer. and he's a lovely man, but my point is that he's a man. >> jimmy: exactly. >> but the first couple episodes i have this wig and the third episode we have a transitional wiggy, and then we go back to our regular wiggy who we refer to as wiggy the bitch. >> jimmy: you have formed a relationship of some kind with another pretend vice president, joe biden. >> yes. actually, joe biden -- >> jimmy: i mean a real vice president. >> he's the real vice president. i don't know why people make those jokes about him. but it gets a laugh. >> and he recently, he tweeted to me, i'm glad you brought this up, because he tweeted to me this thing, he's doing this gimme five campaign that has to do with get moving, which is
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michelle obama's get in shape and get moving campaign, and he was sort of challenging me to do five sort of exercise things, and i haven't had a chance to get to it. >> jimmy: why is he bothering you with this stuff? >> that's another issue all together. but i tweeted to me, and i've been at south by southwest, and i was hoping we could multi-task and that you and i could do something to tweet back to him. >> jimmy: i would be happy to. >> and also i was hoping that you could do most of the physical work and i could be a witness. >> jimmy: now seems like a really bad time for that, but i would be happy to do this. >> you're compliant, i can see. >> jimmy: you could get me to do anything right now. >> that's exactly right. >> jimmy: or any other time to be honest with you. but you want to do like a physical exercise? >> i think so like -- >> jimmy: what about squats? >> squats are good, but you're just going to stand here and squat? no, we have to make it harder. >> jimmy: you could get on my back like a piggyback kind of
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thing. >> jimmy kimmel's officially loaded! that's what we have to do. >> jimmy: we have to videotape this thing. >> guillermo, can you -- we have to get it on my camera. here, oh, wait. [cheers and applause] okay, guillermo -- >> jimmy: that is not part of the vice president's campaign. >> no, that is not. you have to stand over here. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> i'm going to take my shoes off. >> jimmy: yes, take your shoes off. we've almost finished the bottle. so you climb up here. let me help you climb up. >> can you hold me? >> jimmy: yarks i can hold you. >> i'm going on the desk. [cheers and applause] >> okay. are you all right? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm great.
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>> i'm very heavy. >> jimmy: i bet. >> you >> gi five, go, one. two, three, four. five, ooh! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: julia louis-dreyfus! "veep" returns to the air april 12th at 10:30 on hbo. we'll be right back. strong can heal from miles away. ...unite us for a common good. ...and turn a simple video into endless laughter. strong can take you... ...all the way to the summit. oh my! so cool! think what strong can do for you. can i play too?
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♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: our friend guillermo has a lot of responsibilities as a parking lot guard. from watching cars to eating snacks, he needs to make his time count. fortunately, ibm verse helps him focus on what matters most. and now he's spreading the word to other companies.
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>> another outside consultant? >> this is going to be a waste of time. ♪ >> paco says that the only thing that's a waste of time is your outdated e-mail system. >> paco? >> that's right. paco. he's here to help you step into the future with ibm verse. he say it turns out clowns. move over, boss. paco wants to show you how ibm verse easily connects you to the people you need. >> i can see all my information, documents, status updates. >> and your own personal assistant. >> paco says that's right. it works across all your devices, including your mobile. >> hey, that's my i bad. >> hey, watch out, he bites. >> what's he saying now? >> he's saying that ibm verse
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puts new control. >> giving you less clutter and more clarity. >> so your e-mail works for you and not the other way around. >> yeah, but he also wants to know what you're doing later on. >> oh, bad dog. >> go to ibm.com/verse today to discover a new way to work. >> jimmy: we'll be back with robert rodriguez. ♪ ♪ it's our song... ♪ yeah, there you go... ♪ wait! oh, no! there are thousands of ways into the complex health care system. and unitedhealthcare has ways to make the system simpler. like virtual doctor visits. what happened here? i came in too hot.
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so the pennsylvania lottery changed the name of "the daily number" to "pick 3". it's that easy to play. pick 3. easy to play. simple to say. you'd do that for me? really? yeah, i'd like that. who are you talking to? uh, it's jake from state farm.
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sounds like a really good deal. jake from state farm at three in the morning. who is this? it's jake from state farm. what are you wearing, jake from state farm? [ jake ] uh... khakis. she sounds hideous. well she's a guy, so... [ male announcer ] another reason more people stay with state farm. get to a better state. ♪ you pick two, and... you're basically done. that's why the pennsylvania lottery created pick 2.
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just pick two numbers. done. pick 2. easy to play. simple to say. >> jimmy: our next guest is the austin filmmaker behind many innovative films. and now has his own tv channel, too, called el rey network. please welcome, robert rodriguez. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: i didn't know you were irish. >> that's tequila, right? >> jimmy: no, it's not.
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salute to you. >> welcome to austin. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: why am i the only one finishing these? [ bleep ] hey, is south by southwest fun for you? >> it's a blast. everyone comes in, and it's very active, the most active time. i opened a museum here. i had to do interviews with directors like george miller yesterday. everyone has a rock band. i had to play with my band yesterday. then i go home and cook pizzas for all my friends who come in from out of town. you're into that. >> jimmy: i am. i love doing that myself. >> adrian brody and francis ford >> jimmy: you made them for
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president obama too. >> i make a pretty good italian meal, and francis ford cope la said, i'll be the judge >> jimmy: hjalapenos. i'm against that. you were the first director to give george clooney a leading role in a film. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah? how did that happen? "from dusk to dawn." >>ly to scramble. i couldn't think of somebody to play the lied. quentin wanted robert blake. >> jimmy: quentin tarantino is in the movie. he directed it too. >> he's a big fan of robert blake. and i thought, we got to do something quick. robert blake's great, but i thought we could do something different. i'd seen clooney, he wasn't getting roles. he was such a nice doctor.
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he wanted somebody with more edge. he was brooding. and i called him up. i said come to my house. i want to talk to you about this movie i may have. he drove up in a harley put his boots up. i said you got to help me here. we've got to convince quen o i'm going to be stuck with robert blake. it was right after he came out on the cover of "us" magazine. i said, you know he kind of looks like you, you could be brothers. he said, you're right. [ bleep ] we're like fraternal brothers. clooney came onto the set. and said we kind of look alike. yes. >> said shut up. you got the role. that changed everything. he went from being a nice doctor on tv to being a killer.
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you do this movie and you'll have every role in between. people see the range. >> jimmy: guillermo's been doing a lot of acting, and it's just not happening for him. >> i know you got a great gig here. you come to l.a., you'd be the star. >> jimmy: you own a taco place here. >> i do. you ate there. >> jimmy: yes. coincidently. i had no idea you were involved with it. >> i eat there about every day. >> jimmy: you did something very austin with guillermo. let's take a look. >> so welcome to my studio. >> wow, your studio's big. you make all the movies here? >> are you ready to make a breakfast taco? >> yeah. >> i want to design a special taco for jimmy called the yimmy. >> i can make whatever i want? >> yeah, but you have to do it
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in 60 seconds. >> why 60 seconds? >> because if you don't do it in 60 seconds that old lady explodes. >> arvella! >> and action! [ tires screeching ] ♪ ♪ [ laughter ]
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>> finito! >> 5 seconds left. but you forgot to cook the >> sh! >> jimmy: what have we here? >> the taco didn't turn out so well. >> jimmy: that is a great-looking taco. >> it's got slow-cooked bris cut in it. and this goes on sale tomorrow. >> jimmy: how about that. robert rodriguez! el rey network is on cable and satellite now. and we shall return with music from spoon. >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
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presented by at&t. mobilizing your world.
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank julia louis-dreyfus, robert rodriguez, gary clark jr. and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first. this is their album "they want my soul." here with the song "rainy taxi", austin's very own spoon! ♪ ♪ you catch everything i never could you believed when i gave up for good ♪ ♪ and when you stand
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beside me i can tell i'm stronger than i've ever been ♪ ♪ but if you're goin' you know you don't come back ♪ ♪ ♪ i came home last night i had no good news i came home last night i had no good news ♪ ♪ and you received me through the brightest flash of apocalyptic ruin ♪ ♪ and if you leave i'll never sing another tune ♪ ♪ put on your red shoes sing to me lover girl when you do my love i forget the world ♪
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♪ and if you say run i may run with you i got nothing else i got nowhere else ♪ ♪ as the sun goes fading in the west there's an army east that's rising still ♪ ♪ and when you stand beside me i feel something stronger than i ever could ♪ ♪ but if you leave you better run away for good ♪ ♪ leave you better run away for good ♪ ♪ leave you better run run, run ♪ ♪ leave you better run away for good ♪
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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]
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this is night line. tonight, multi-millionaire robert durst could be facing the death penalty, so why is he smiling? tonight we're going inside the mind of a criminal, find out how the subject of "the jinx" could be the author of his own undoing. unarmed eric garner, surrounded by officers, choking to death. now our david muir is getting an exclusive look at what's really going on inside the police academy. and this is your brain on barbecue. at south by southwest, the best and brightest are gathering for mind blowing and gut busting experiences.

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