>> dicky: from austin, texas -- it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kevin hart, brad paisley matthew mcconaughey and tomi fujiyama with cleto and the cletones. and now, word back y'all, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's very nice.

howdy, austin. thank you. thank you. welcome to the beautiful long center, centrally locate the in the weird and wonderful city of austin, texas. [ cheers and applause ] i'm happy for here. we are here for a whole week because that's how long it takes to get to the front of the line at franklin's barbecue. i told you i would come back and i did. i have returned, like general patton. [ cheers and applause ] i promised. that while we were here, no brisket will go unsmoked, no queso will go undipped, no

single horn will go unhooked while we are here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we got here friday night. so far, i have eaten at pearla's, jeffrey's, a ola may, 3:00 a.m. pizza from home slice. [ cheers and applause ] cheeseburger from holy cow. and a shea z banana cream pie fare lunch. so i am -- there is no chance i survive the week. the food is so good here. if you've never been to austin the food is unbelievable. i've been doing a lot of the drinking too. this town turns me into an animal. here's how you know you're having a good time. i figured this out. when you go for coffee in the morning and realize that the key to your hotel room is still in the door from the night before? that happened. oh, speaking of eating and drinking. where is my little pal guillermo? [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ go guillermo go ♪ go guillermo go ♪ go guillermo go [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: what are you doing? >> guillermo: hi, everybody!

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guillermo got into u.t. on a meatball scholarship. congratulations to the u.t. basketball team. made the ncaas. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first of all what have you been up to so far this weekend? i lost touch with you after the plane. >> guillermo: i've been eating a lot. >> jimmy: eating, yeah. >> guillermo: enjoying austin. >> jimmy: show me what happened here. i saw this on instagram. >> guillermo: oh my gosh. yeah, i went to this place called towny lion. >> jimmy: what was that, you ate that? >> guillermo: no, that was just for the picture. >> jimmy: i see. don't you feel like you should be building to this? we're only on the first night here. >> guillermo: yeah, you're right. >> jimmy: didn't you go to whole food's in the middle of the night? >> guillermo: i did.

>> jimmy: what did you buy? >> guillermo: i was like, i got to go healthy now. >> jimmy: healthy? i'm told, and correct me if i'm wrong, that you bought a chocolate easter bunny. >> guillermo: and two bags of potato chips. >> jimmy: eating healthy. we thought it would be useful to document guillermo's transformation throughout the week. so we decided to weigh him as he stepped off the plane. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we flew from l.a. on southwest. there's cousin sal. there's me and guillermo. they let me carry a scale, a digital scale, on board the plane. and this is just as we get out into the texas air. we put the scale dun. and here we go. your weigh-in, guillermo. >> 192.4 pounds. 192.4 pounds. >> jimmy: all right, so in all fairness some of that is hair gel.

here's what we're going to do. for every pound guillermo gains while here we'll donate $2,000 to urban roots, which is a great local charity. [ cheers and applause ] to help young people who need it. that's their website, urbanrootsatx.org. check them out. guillermo, you will be gorging not just yourself but for the children. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: you have your elastic waistband? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: all right. got an elastic waistband. if you break it, it's another five grand, all right? >> guillermo: all right. >> jimmy: go to your spot. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: in addition to eating, there's also a music festival going on in austin right now. for a minute i thought people were standing in line to get their beards trimmed. but there are a lot of beards here, aren't there? there are more than last year. it's like a swarm of hipster

locusts descended on the city. the festival started last friday, goes through sunday. al gore kicked things off. you know austin isn't like the rest of texas when the guy they bring in to get the crude fired up is the democrat who loves icebergs and hates oil. it's al gore. snoop dogg is giving the keynote speech on friday. [ cheers and applause ] that's high honor. no one knows what snoop will talk about yet. i assure you he doesn't either. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: every year south by gets bigger. they're expecting record crowds this year. people get upset about traffic. you should know that's what it's like to live in l.a. every day. in addition to traffic, the festival brings in a lot of money. some people think south by southwest is becoming too corporate. you know what, to me i just think those people don't understand the red bull energy level awesomeness of enjoying a

nutritious mcdonald's big mac from the comfort of your nissan cube. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: please say hello to our great band, they came all the way from l.a. in a 1982 volkswagen golf, cleto and the cletones! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight we have -- the world's first japanese country music star, the legendary tomi fujiyama is here. there's a new documentary produced by morgan sperlock and elijah wood called "made in japan." tomi is the first japanese woman to play the grand old opry. welcome, tomi. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm thinking about having t-shirts made that say "tomi is my homie." would than all right? you don't speak english, do you? well, we're excited to be back in austin. everyone was so warm and welcoming last year. and we wanted to do something to give back.

so you know there are many big companies here. all trying to get attention. i decided to focus this year on the little one. i posted a tweet for any local business in austin that might want me to help them produce a local commercial. we got a lot of responses, thousands of them, in fact. and there are a number of worthy candidates. because this is a high-tech event with the apps and devices, we decided to make a commercial for a business that is very low-tech. here it is. this is our boost to the local economy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola, hello, hello, hello. >> hello, how are you? >> jimmy: jimmy. >> kristin. >> brian. >> jimmy: how you doing? here we are. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: isn't this exciting? >> very. >> jimmy: show me around. maybe we'll get to work here planning this thing. >> cool. movies. go, brian. >> jimmy: yeah, go, brian.

♪ >> we're very proud of our large jerry lewis section that we have. we have the very popular canadian television section here. >> jimmy: what makes asian horror different from regular horror? >> more hair. >> they like wet-looking ladies with hair in the face. >> jimmy: here's one i remember from my youth. >> that's a good one. >> jimmy: hot dog the movie, primarily to see women topless. >> shannon twigg, right. >> in case you forgot. >> jimmy: you carry vhs? >> we never get rid of our vhs. >> jimmy: you rent none in a day? >> two or three a day. not a lot. >> jimmy: to the same guy? >> there used to be one guy only rented videotapes, then we all died when he got a dvd player. like, you were the guy. i think i know what i have to

do. i think we have to show people what's special about this video store other than the fact that it still exists. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's your budget? millions? $2 million? >> two bucks. we're a video store in 2015. >> jimmy: all right. we'll try to do it on the cheap. we're going to have to find somebody passionate about movies. that's the way we're going to have to go here. all right. i'll get to work. >> all right. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i hope this works out for all of us. >> thank you, thank you. ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, what's happening? how you doing how you doing? >> jimmy: you shaved, i don't know how i feel about that. we made three spots, did you like local actor? >> he's nice, nice guy. >> jimmy: do you want to view it? >> let's do it. >> jimmy: on vhs, like you like. tracking. i miss tracking.

♪ >> jimmy: tired of streaming movies directly to your tv? so many options, so much scrolling, so many things to click. >> guillermo: whyyyyyyy! >> jimmy: who's got time for all that clicking? don't you wish there were a better way? there is a better way! vulcan video. >> vulcan video in austin! >> jimmy: this trying to stream is making me scream. >> i hate streaming. yaahhhh! >> jimmy: deal with netflix when vulcan video makes it so easy? >> quit streaming. start dreaming. v-h-s. >> vulcan! an extensive canadian tv collection. asian horror with hair.

>> jimmy: would you say vulcan video is all right? >> i'd say it's fine. all right, all right. >> jimmy: you missed one. >> no, i just -- two all rights. >> vulcan video! don't be a loser, be a vulcan video chooser! all right, all right! >> jimmy: did you love it? >> it was good. i wish we had one that mentioned the free parking. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. we did forget the free parking. let's put the other one in. >> let's see what this one is. >> vulcan. meeting vhs needs since the mid-'80s and parking is free! >> remember that time we rented a vhs tape and tried to get it in -- >> like it was bent in the sun and warped and it didn't fit in the machine. >> jimmy: that happens less than 40% of the time at vulcan video. >> what i do, i come back to vulcan the same night, i ride here at 3:00 a.m. they're closed.

you were closed. you were closed. sleep in the parking lot. come in when they first open in the morning, noon, no problem. human service from brian. he said, i'm going to give you should go for your inconvenience last night. i'm going to give you the texas chainsaw massacre part 3 with renee zellweger. >> jimmy: and you. >> for half price. half price. smooth [ bleep ]. vulcan. >> vulcan video, let us service you! parking is free! >> jimmy: all right? >> yeah, that was better, i like that one. i think it was a little -- kind of too much about the service. i want to see more about our selection. the movies. >> jimmy: i liked you so much better with the beard. >> all right. >> aaahhhh! >> at vulcan video over 52,000

titles! vhs tapes, t-shirts, and a bathroom! >> some would say we're out of date which we would call -- >> stupid? >> classic. others might say we're bygones of technology past which we would call -- >> hopelessly out of touch. >> retro, vintage. take me, for instance. i live 32 miles north of boston. takes 1.6 hours to get here. i don't mind. i like to drive, i like to talk to myself when i drive. >> jimmy: where you going? >> this way. v-u-l-c-a-n! what is it? vulcan! >> get out of your house, come and see us, vulcan video. if you do not you're out of your

vulcan mind. >> if you do not you will die. >> may the force be with you. >> that's a different movie. >> you're right. >> vulcan video. >> vulcan video! anything else would be illogical! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: by the way, that's brian and kristin right there. these two are getting married in two weeks. congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. brad paisley is here. tomi fujiyama is here. we'll be right back with kevin hart so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ your cheating heart ♪ ♪ your cheating heart will tell on you ♪

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♪ >> jimmy: live from the long center in austin, texas,

south by southwest. later on tonight, this is theal wum "moonshine in the trunk." brad paisley is here with us from the at&t stage. tomorrow night, julia louis-dreyfus will join us, robert rodriguez will be here, and we'll have music from two of austin's very own spoon and gary clark jr. too. and later this week, willie nelson, tony romo, james bay, the weekend, the cast of "the walking dead" will be here, kanye west will be here, and just added today, bill murray will be here with us. [ cheers and applause ] join us for all our shows. one of the funniest and busiest people around. over the weekend, he roasted justin bieber. and on march 27th, you can see him teamed up with will ferrell in the new movie "get hard." please welcome kevin hart. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> that is an entrance. that is an entrance. >> jimmy: you're in austin, you had shows here in january, right? >> yes, yeah i did, four shows here. >> jimmy: this is a small crowd for you, isn't it. >> yeah, this is -- this is not a crowd at all. [ laughter ] >> not that you guys aren't here.

i'm saying i like a lot of people to be cute. to be cute. i'm joking. no, i did a nice venue here, austin is amazing, i love it here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: unlike guillermo, we've been just really laying around drinking, eating. you worked out while you were here with the u.t. football team. >> yeah, i did. >> jimmy: you posted this photograph of yourself. >> look at that. look at that. [ cheers and applause ] >> yow, yah! >> jimmy: did you enjoy that? >> no. it's one of those things that's a good idea at first. i got here and a friend worked on the campus. yo, i'd love to come to the facility, work out. i thought it was going just going to be me. i get there football players, their arms, hey, looks like we all do the same stuff.

they're like, you want to work some sets? and i did. and i threw up. right after. true story. i didn't let them see it, though. you go, kev? yes, i am! i gave the longhorn symbol and walked out and threw up on the wall. i threw up right on the wall. i didn't even clean it up, i just ran, i didn't want nobody to know. i took off. >> jimmy: you're the only person ever to visit austin and throw up from exercise. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you sold out madison square garden. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which is something that very few comics have ever done. i don't think there are ten comics that have sold out -- >> no. >> jimmy: is that when you knew you'd made it? >> you know, that was definitely a hell of a platform. you know, that was an achievement that, you know, i've always dreamt of basically having. when it came, it kind of was surreal that it happened.

sold out twice. it never really plateaued until i was onstage and i saw the crowd. oh my god, i'm actually doing it at madison square garden. it was a moment. the one moment i got emotional. your hard work has made off, look at where it got you. i immediately got over it. i didn't want to get content thinking this is what it is, all it is. it has to get better. i decided to go back on this tour. i sold it out three times. sold out madison square garden three times. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. barclay's is there now. i was like, wow. i put tickets on sale for barclay's and we sold out two shows. in the period of a week i'm doing over 150,000 people. >> jimmy: it's unbelievable, it really is unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the biggest of all the shows will be in your hometown of philadelphia. >> philadelphia p.a., doing a football stadium. >> jimmy: how many seats will there be at this show? >> 50,000 seats. the show has been on sale for

two and a half weeks and we're at 37,000 tickets sold. >> jimmy: that's incredible, unbelievable. this is not just -- well, it's a comedy show but pyrotechnics -- >> this is going to be a big deal. i use the term comedic rock star and i have been for some time. this is my chance to show people what i mean. it's more than just a standup comedy. it's the experience. those people that will see my tour, you will be a part of an event. this is a world record breaking thing i'm happy to do. more importantly the love and support i get from my fans is unreal. i feel like i owe it to you all to step up to the plate. >> jimmy: like a rock star, will you make love to your fans after the show? >> well -- no. no, i won't. i won't do that. but i will put on some tight-ass pants. [ laughter ] i will, i will do that. >> jimmy: that's all we can ask for. kevin hart is here. the movie is "get hard." we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ]

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person like you can't fight,

it's not a good thing. not a good thing at all. >> okay, darnell. >> who's dar nneldarnell. >> it's leroy. turn around and walk. >> darnell -- >> who's darnell? you're looking at carlos. walk wherever you came from. >> i was trying to leave that area. >> go back where you wrong. >> i don't know where i belong. >> leave him alone, he's with me. >> i don't want that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: will ferrell and kevin hart in "get hard." i thought it was very funny. crazy, funny moments in this movie. >> we definitely push the envelope. will ferrell, first of all, is amazing. >> jimmy: did you know him before? >> yes. no, please, he's amazing. [ cheers and applause ] >> we met, we knew each other previously but we never worked together. at the time i had nothing to bring to the table. and that's why i love believing

in the fact that everything happens when it's supposed to. this project came at a great time. adam mckay, will ferrell pitched me idea, i loved it. they developed it, got script written. did a great pass on it. me and will got together, start talking about -- chemistry was amazing from the jump. >> jimmy: it is good chemistry. kind of like gene wilder and richard pryor. >> that's amazing, thank you, wow. >> jimmy: and it's very funny. obviously the subject matter is -- >> a little dirty, a lot of raunchy in this one. >> jimmy: there's some penises and everything. >> i blame will ferrell, none of it's my fault. >> jimmy: you were the roastmaster at the comedy central roast of justin bieber. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's taped saturday night? >> we just taped it. >> jimmy: how did that go? >> a little rough. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. i'm not going to lie. there's some moments where i was like, justin's going to cry in the car. there's no way. there's no way he's not going to cry.

you know, you can look at a person and like they're trying to have to have a good time but you can tell there's a tear. there's one moment i looked at justin. he's like -- [ laughter ] a laugh but it's not. i kept pointing at him like, hold it back, boy. you don't let those cameras see it come down. he did one knee slap where he covered up a cry. and sat up. it got a little rough. i will say this i will say at the end of it, what i love the most, and i will say this here, justin bieber stood onstage and he gave his rebuttal. at the end of it it was more about him acknowledging all the stuff that he's done and saying he's now in a different place, he's ready to mature and move on. i think that's a nice place to do it. hey, let me be an adult, let me be a man, let me go on with my life. >> jimmy: like a bar mitzvah? >> pretty much except we didn't circumcise him.

>> jimmy: that would have made him cry. >> if he didn't cry he'd be a superhero if he didn't cry for that. no, it was a really good time. everybody did a great job. >> jimmy: i hear martha stewart was very funny. >> can't figure that out. [ laughter ] don't know how or what. first of all, when i saw martha stewart, i got nervous. are you a justin deal? i didn't know why she was there. when she came on, she was digging. like she was throwing some real jokes. she said something about me, it was like, you don't even know me, martha! who gave you this? she gave me a cocky look. she was like, ha ha ha! >> jimmy: kevin hart, everybody. go see the comedy "get hard." it opens march 27th. thank you, kevin. be right back, austin! ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we are in austin, texas. obviously the south by southwest. brad paisley on the way. but first, we have a fun little project for anyone who is in austin this week. tonight we are giving our entire studio audience these -- we call them guillermo flatto. it's like flat stanley, but with a mustache. everyone hold up your guillermo flatto. it as kind of weird, isn't it guillermo? and we are asking people to take pictures of guillermo flatto all around austin during south by southwest, and to tweet them and

instagram them. and we will put the best shots on our show here are some examples -- for instance, that's the sort of thing, allen boots. if you want to take a picture of your guillermo flatto at the alamo draft house. guillermo being devour by a mural. and if you at home want your own guillermo flatto, you can download him at jimmykimmellive.com and make sure you feed him tequila at least twice a day. or he will die. all right? guillermo flatto. we'll be right back with brad paisley, stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: get more music from tonight's artists at brad paisley.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are back in austin, texas. our next guest is a three-time grammy award winner and fourteen-time country music award-winner. his latest, called "moonshine in the trunk," is both a number one album and a dangerous safety hazard. please say hello to brad paisley. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: when did you get into austin? >> today. >> jimmy: okay, so your cholesterol level is probably at a relatively normal level right now. >> for the next 15 minutes. >> jimmy: i gotcha. where do you eat when you come here? >> let's see.

they have -- i think chi chi's is a mexican restaurant which is fantastic. have you been? >> jimmy: it didn't get much of a reaction, chi chi's. >> no, there's a bunch of them. there's a place called vitae. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you did a very nice thing, you provided wardrobe for our little pal guillermo. >> i did. i have a clothing line. i thought you were coming down here, dress like the locals. >> jimmy: yeah. >> guillermo is going to model this for us. >> jimmy: let's see, bring him out. i'd love to see what you put on him. >> let's see what he's wearing. >> jimmy: here he, wow. look at that. >> it's called moonshine kid. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is it from your personal -- from your own line of western wear? >> yeah. but it didn't look like that when we designed it. >> jimmy: yeah, well.

>> now that i see it. >> jimmy: that's why they pick models to model clothing, i guess. but i think you look adorable, guillermo. >> he does. >> guillermo: i do too. thank you. >> jimmy: i have a picture of a concert you did in austin a few years ago. this is called "aqua palooza." there you are. this looks like a real mess to me. >> what you can't tell is that everybody there is in the water. everyone's in the water. we did this on lake travis or lake austin? >> jimmy: probably lake travis, right? >> we basically -- i don't know, we killed fish. we set a guinness book of world records for not only the most urine in a lake, but probably the most alcoholic urine. >> jimmy: did everyone survive? did anyone drown? >> it was an absolute bad idea. >> jimmy: it was a bad idea. >> but nobody drowned. that was to me like get a bunch of drunk rednecks, stick them in the water. you can drown in that much water. more like that much water.

i don't think anybody died. if they died, it was buried in the press. >> jimmy: at least they went out having fun. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: president obama was on our show in l.a. on thursday. and i know you went to afghanistan with him. >> yes. say hi to the troops in afghanistan, which i was very proud of. >> jimmy: last may. >> correct? >> last may. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: with the president. so you flew over on air force one? that's a long flight, right? >> 13 over, 16 back. >> jimmy: 13 over, 16 back. what do you do? first of all, what's air force one like? >> it's -- well, it's a plane. >> jimmy: oh. >> it's blue. no, it's absolutely amazing. but they didn't really build it for a lot of people to sleep. what's fun about that was it's like -- i'm thinking, do they have bunks? no. we're laying on the floor. >> jimmy: were you really? >> yeah, we were. because the seats recline but they're not as comfortable as you might think. a lot of people are like, grab a piece of floor. it's like camp. >> jimmy: if the president has

to about to the bathroom he has to step over you on the floor? >> he has his own thing. >> jimmy: do you wear your hat on the floor? or does the hat go over your face? >> like a cowboy. >> jimmy: like a cowboy, okay. >> like that. >> jimmy: that's interesting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you actually worked on your album on the plane. >> we had a song i was mixing at the time. was getting ready to get finished with this record. it's a long flight. i had my laptop. we were working on a mix. then realized that i finished this somewhere over the black sea, probably. >> jimmy: on air force one. >> on air force one. >> jimmy: wow. in a way the president was your co-producer on this thing. >> no. he had nothing to do with it. >> jimmy: no credit? >> no. >> jimmy: you didn't use those big ears to listen in, see what's going on? >> you would think, but no. >> jimmy: when you go on air force one, do they give you anything? >> what i did, i stole stuff. i actually have a bar like you do, you built a bar -- >> jimmy: a bar at your house. >> a bar at the studio where we

have guinness on tap and i'm an expert pour er. i took beer and whiskey glasses with the air force one logo. >> jimmy: you stole them from the plane, from the american people? >> i actually -- [ laughter ] >> you know, it's a jab at the irs. really what it is, i didn't really steal them, but it makes a better story. >> jimmy: it makes a better story. now you realize you're getting into trouble. [ laughter ] >> at least i'm not saying we were shot at. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: your dad was a volunteer firefighter. >> yes. all my life. >> jimmy: whenever there was trouble, he would get up and go. >> i have a real special place in my heart for firefighters. they are absolute heroes with what they do. [ cheers and applause ] it's an amazing thing. >> jimmy: you designed this shirt. >> yeah, we designed this shirt with guinness.

also denise leery. dennis is the biggest champion of firefighters in the world. he and i and guinness do this t-shirt hoping to raise $1 million for a great cause. >> jimmy: i think we're going to have a toast to that. guillermo, get us our beers. he's not paying attention over there at all. that's great. then people can buy the shirt. >> yeah. >> jimmy: then the money goes toward the foundation itself. thank you, guillermo. >> this is the blond? fantastic. >> jimmy: to your dad. there you go. >> to my dad. >> jimmy: and to the firefighters. brad paisley, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> i needed more beer. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. we come back, we're going to take the desk away, set your whole thing up. when we come back, brad paisley is going to play his new song for us. this is the cd "moonshine in the trunk." brad paisley, everybody. be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t.

mobilizing your world. [leaves rustling] are you day dreaming? hmm? yeah. about a luxury tree house? mmm hmm. with lookout decks for star gazing? yeah. cool! wait. how...? you've got the new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. oh yeah! the wizard of oz, with top prizes of $300,000. there's a full moon tonight! [male announcer] want to see your dreams come to life? you could scratch your way to instant winning. the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life.

>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank

kevin hart, matthew mcconaughey, tomi fujiyama, the people from vulcan video. apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, kicking off our week here in austin, his album is called "moonshine in the trunk," here with the song "crushin' it," brad paisley! ♪ ♪ i sure could use an atta boy or a big ol' high five ♪ ♪ i'd love to hear you're killin' it dude it's been a long time ♪ ♪ since i hit one out of the park or nailed it as they say ♪ ♪ i guess i've been in a dry spell but that's about to change 'cause ♪ ♪ every week has a weekend by this time friday night i'll be done with my third can ♪

♪ of cold bud light and i'll be crushin' it yeah i'll be crushin' it ♪ ♪ let's say your baby's mad 'cause you told her that you'd hang some pictures for her ♪ ♪ you know the ones she framed from late last spring of you and her in florida ♪ ♪ you're up on the ladder when it shatters into smithereens ♪ ♪ she shakes her head and looks at you and says ain't you good for anything and you say ♪ ♪ every week has a weekend by this time friday night if you want a margarita i'll get tequila and ice ♪ ♪ and i'll be crushin' it with a cold one in my other hand ♪ ♪ and i'll be crushin' it when i'm finished with my can ♪ ♪ i can stomp it with my boot punch it with my fist smash it

on my forehead yeah i got this ♪ ♪ i'll be crushin' it oh, i'll be crushin' it oh ♪ ♪ ♪ i figured this out in college walking past them gothic columns ♪ ♪ that i was gonna probably wind up somewhere near the bottom ♪ ♪ i was never gonna be the best or brightest guy around ♪ ♪ but like the great george freaking strait i'm the king of gettin' unwound ♪ ♪ every week has a weekend by this time friday night i'll be

done with my third can of cold bud light ♪ ♪ and i'll be crushin' it every week has a weekend yeah, i'll be crushin' it by this time friday night ♪ ♪ oh, i'll be crushin' it i'll be done with my third can oh, i'll be crushin' it of cold bud light ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." tonight, killer cop. the south carolina police officer appears to gun down an unarmed man, firing eight shots from behind, and all the world can see on this disturbing recording. now he's facing murder charges as the victim's family reacts. a mother's quest to get her children back from the barricades of the fdls. this crowd keeping her from her own young ones even after she finally got custody. how they exert so much control of this corner of america. and welcome to the oval office, madam president. meet