tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 14, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
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hi there. thank you all of you for coming. hey, have we all decided who we're going to vote for for president yet? you know you only have 574 days left to figure it out. the race for president, the election will happen in november of 2016 is on. in miami yesterday, a senator from florida marco rubio announced that he is throwing his hat in the ring. >> now the time has come for our generation to lead the way towards a new american century. [ cheers and applause ] >> i like that. he is so committed to conserving water. he drinks from a tiny little cup. either that or he's a giant. that's rubio. he's the third republican to
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announce his candidacy. joins senators ted cruz and rand paul. they will have to contend with hillary clinton on the other side. as you can see, things are getting pretty dai]kyuing there. >> right here, right behind our camera, there she goes. okay. they're going around to the back. you can see the media running behind me çd to chase the scooby van. >> wow. >> we'll see her very soon. >> it's april of 2015. they're already chasing her van around. as if it's an ice cream t:a something. hillary announced on sunday that she is running. then sher new york to iowa in a van. you can't be president of the united states unless you agree to eat a corn dog in front of a small group of farmers.
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>> and then she beat up his family. just a recap. hillary clinton is nothing like that woman. clinton's hair style from like 1987. hillary clinton is riding around in a van that stopped at a gas station in pennsylvania and a community college. she's either running for president or selling pot. we're not sure. speaking of boxing, an may 2nd, the post anticipated matchup in many years. floyd mayweather. and to inspire himself -- to get himself fired up for the fight, he just released his own walkout song. you know the song that plays when the fighter makes his way into the ring. manny recorded one for himself. this should be at next year's grammy awards.
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♪ [ singing in foreign language ] >> while a great song. i've never heard a song that summed up my emotions so completely. i was listening to it all day. can't get it out of my head. what a coincidence, there happens to be a microphone here. cleto, can you guys play a little bit of that? ♪ [ singing in foreign language ] >> jimmy: you know the rest.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and that translated to english, that means i'm going to beat floyd mayweather's face in. what a pretty way to say it. how many of you have seen the video of dennis quaid flipping out an a movie set? if you didn't, this happened. >> i am acting here and this [ bleep ] head wanders onto my set. i can't even get a line out until dopey the [ bleep ] starts whispering in your ear. >> dennis, dennis. >> don't dennis me. this is the most unprofessional set i have ever been on. this is horse [ bleep ]. like a [ bleep ] zombie over here i have to look at. i have a bunch of [ bleep ]
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staring at me. and this is garbage. [ bleep ] me.w >> jimmy: well done. so i -- i watched that video last night about 14 times. my favorite part was this -m;w >> i can't even get a line out until dopey the [ bleep ] starts whispering in your ear. >> jimmy: for the next eight years i'm going to call everyone that. i might have t-shirts printed up. anyway, i watched this a bunch of times last night. when i woke up this morning, i was being blamed for it. there are two dozen articles online. thousands of comments suggesting that this is a prank video and i'm responsible for it. it's disappointing. you play 50 pranks and all of a sudden, people don't trust you
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anymore. did anyone ever consider maybe dennis was doing voiceover for a new cartoon? >> i'm acting here and this [ bleep ] head wanders onto my set. i can't even get a line out until dopey the [ bleep ] starts whispering in my ear. >> den in its, dennis. >> don't dennis me! i'm doing my job here. this is the most unprofessional set i have ever been on. this is horse [ bleep ]. i have a bunch of [ bleep ] staring at me. this is garbage! [ bleep ] me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: anyway. we're going to take a quick break. we'll have the real story about what happened and i'll show you
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why justin bieber got thrown out of coachella. we'll be right back. take a b >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by the new autotrader. where you can find the perfect car for you. liberate your spine... ahhh-ahhhhhh......aflac! and reach, toes blossoming... not that great at yoga. yeah, but when i slipped a disk he paid my claim in just one day. ahh! so he had your back? yep. in just one day, we approve and pay. one day pay, only from aflac. [duck snoring] on a hotel room. however, it won't help you if you lock yourself out of your hotel room in your underpants. thanks captain obvious. no need to thank me,
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i think it's a great idea. i read it to my daughter last night. she loved it. an instant classic. hey, some big celebrity baby news. kim kardashian and kanye west had their daughter baptized yesterday in jerusalem. where else would god have his child baptized? it's where he does it. actually had to go to jerusalem because of our governor, jerry brown, here in california and all the new water restrictions. there's nothing left. another celebrity baby by the name of justin bieber was reportedly kicked out of the coachella music festival on sunday night. it goes on in the middle of the desert. supposedly he went to the artist entrance and stopped by security. the area was filled to capacity.
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he said, hey, drake invited me personally to come in. something or other happened or was said and mr. bieber was escorted out of the venue in a choke hold. of course tmz got video of some of it. luckily there was a giant yellow arrow above his head. that's justin bieber being removed from the premises. does he even sing anymore or does he just get arrested and thrown out of things now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they claim he left voluntarily and is considering taking legal action against the security guards. if you left voluntarily, why would you take legal action against them? you spend your whole weekend hauling vomiting kids in rainbow wigs. then you get an opportunity to put justin bieber in a head
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lock. and suddenly it's all worth it. i'm surprised. didn't he just promise us rep t repeatedly he was going to grow up? >> what happened in the past happened. i just want to make the best impression on people and be kind and loving and gentle and soft. i'm human. i love people. i love love. i'm passionate about things and i'm passionate about being better and growing. i'm looking for ward to being somebody you guys can all look at and be proud of. >> jimmy: i for one am seeing -- i once got kicked out of a tgi fridays for singing "don't worry, be happy." one of the great barbecue men in america aaron franklin of franklin barbecue in austin,
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texas is here. we shot this on a weekday. people wait for hours every day in this line. you can see they camp out waiting for lunch. last night, i slept outside in line for my own show, just for this. aaron is out on hollywood boulevard right now. there he is. hi, aaron! how are you? >> i'm doing great. how you doing? >> jimmy: we talk about how weird austin is. which place is weirder, austin or hollywood boulevard? >> oh, hollywood boulevard. >> jimmy: it's rare that you see homeless elmo in austin. >> i don't know about that. >> jimmy: what are you making tonight? >> we've got some brisket. >> jimmy: that's beautiful. just when my body started to recover from the brisket in austin, it travels here and attacks me in my workplace.
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you ready to go? is that cooked or do we have to wait for it to cook? >> they've been cooking all day. >> jimmy: that's going to be great. should we sing the song one more time? ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, bring the -- ♪ [ singing in foreign language ] >> jimmy: i think i had it all wrong. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: go back to the other one. i got to try it again. no, i don't think that one's
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right. not that -- yeah, go back to the other one. we'll edit it and it will seem like i know filipino. does anyone here speak filipino besides he? did anything i said make any sense? what do you mean a little bit? i called a guy at a filipino restaurant today and sang it to him over the phone. i didn't even know him. he said it was good. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ singing in filipino ]
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>> jimmy: tonight, from franklin bbq in austin, texas, aaron franklin is here to show us how to smoke a brisket. this is his new cookbook, "franklin barbecue: a meat-smoking manifesto." i'm excited about that. and then later, a music legend who continues to have hit song after hit song. his new one is called "i'll be there." chic featuring nile rodgers from the at&t stage. >> jimmy: tomorrow night, tim allen will join us. as will kiernan shipka from "mad men." and we'll have music from drew holcomb and the neighbors. and on thursday night, jamie foxx, who will also be performing with chris brown and kid ink. betty white, who will not be performing with chris brown and kid ink. and guillermo has an exclusive interview with j.j. abrams, the director of "star wars" what are you gonna ask him, guillermo? what do you have planned? >> how do you do a good
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director? how do you become a good director, i mean. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how do you do a good director? >> i'm thinking of the barbecue. how do you become -- >> jimmy: your english is worse than mine. besides having a delightful name, our first guest is one of the people who've repeatedly saved this planet from ne'er-do- wells. she is shield agent maria hill in "marvel's avengers: age of ultron." >> orphaned at 10. cobi has had a rough history. nowhere special. >> her abilities? >> increased metabolism. her think is tell ke knee sis.
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she's fast and she's weird. >> they're going to show up again. >> agreed. they volunteered for the experiment. >> all right. what kind of monster than a german scientist to experiment on them to protect their country. >> we're not at war, captain. >> jimmy: please welcome cobi smulders. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for being here. >> oh, thank you. oh. wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i was thinking about you this morning. >> oh. >> jimmy: i wasm$ thinking, cob smulders is a great name. >> thank you. thank you very much.
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it's not made up. i'm named after my great aunt on my father's side. >> jimmy: how do you spell that? >> j-a-c-o-b- >> jimmy: it sounds like a prescription drug or something. >> we should do that. >> jimmy: do you ever run into kobe bryant and go, like, hey? >> yes, sure. i would love to. it's very rare that i meet a person with the same name. i did have an experience ordering coffee and i was waiting and i grabbed it as the guy did, when kobe was called, and he had the same name as me. >> jimmy: how about that. they misspell everything. >> i know. >> jimmy: you went to the premier last night. >> i did. right across the street. >> jimmy: your co-stars were here.
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there was ta kliquor in the dreg room. >> there's lots of people out there with lots of questions. >> jimmy: they had a few drinks and then they went out and met the press in the line. (ba they be? >> there were shots happening on the red carpet. i did a shot with somebody halfway through the carpet myself. >> jimmy: you pioneered that and people are stealing it from you. >> it was my idea. >> jimmy: when you're involved in a red carpet event, you put a lot of thought into what you're going to wear? >> i hire really talented people to tell me what to wear and how to look. last night, i was -- you x it's tough being a girl sometimes. >> jimmy: tell me about it. >> yeah, right. sometimes you wear these addresses, they wrinkle, you're sitting in a car. it's like an hour-long car ride. i thought it would be a genius
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idea to wear my t-shirt and change when i hit sunset and highland in the car. i mastered it. my girlfriend was the one zipping me up as i'm planking in the backseat of the car. >> jimmy: who was in the car? >> my girlfriend and her husband and the driver. >> jimmy: what a thrill for her husband too. >> he was very -- he was a gentleman. he was looking out the window. >> jimmy: right, like a dog. you -- it does not look like you put a tremendous amount of thought into what you were going to wear on the cover ofwjykykyks health" magazine. skz if women who were trying to be healthy aren't going to hate you enough, you just had a baby two months previous to this? >> after. a very tiny baby.
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yes. i did. i was pregnant and then i popped that out. it's really -- i popped that out and also popped something else out. it's really good when someone tells you that you're going to be topless on the cover of a magazine, it's incentive -- we don't have to keep showing people this. >> jimmy: i can't stop looking at it. there you are. >> that's -- just thinking about life and being healthy while i live it. >> jimmy: yeah, but you look like you're in very good shape. is that from, what do they call it, exercise? >> working out, eating healthy. >> jimmy: you play agent maria hill. which by the way is not a great name as far as marvel comics names go. sounds like a local news reporter or something. >> right. >> jimmy: would be covering this weekend sports anchor. >> right.
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>> jimmy: your character -- you have that little pistol. >> i have that gun. i can pull that out and shoot some robots in time. i always hit my mark. that's the good thing about doing these movies. you could be shooting over here and that guy dies. >> jimmy: that is remarkable. so your character's not a part of shield anymore. >> no. shield is no longer. >> jimmy: but you do occasionally pop up on marvel's agents of shield here on abc. >> yes. >> jimmy: will you now not be popping up on that? >> there is one coming up. >> jimmy: oh, good. okay. so even though you're not being shielded, you will be on the >> i'm not like a cast member, but i pop in now and again to link the two worlds, being the movies and tvv! >> jimmy: have you ever been to austin, texas? >> i shot a movie there this summer. i loved it.
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>> jimmy: i really ate a lot of food. >> i was shooting a movie where i was playing a personal trainer. so i had to be in ridiculous shape. i couldn't eat anything. no queso. i'm so excited for this barbecue. >> jimmy: excellent. guillermo, you're out. >> he was so excited about it. >> jimmy: he can be a part of it too. >> jimmy: cobie smulders! "marvel's avengers: age of ultron" opens in theaters may 1st. we'll be back right back. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. beth forr birthday. you know mobile share value plans now include rollover data, so the data you don't use this month rolls over to the next month. wow, even better. so what are you gonna do with your old phone? i'm giving it to my sister emily. she gets all my old hand-me-downs. oh i'm into bedazzling too.
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featuring nile rodgers, we have chef aaron franklin. first, autotratder lets you search for the perfect car based on all the qualities you care about. it's so effective, i wondered what it would be like if we applied it to online dating. tonight, i give you boyfriend trader. we need a member of the studio audience who is looking for a boyfriend. yes, come on down here. come quickly. okay. there we go.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> hi. >> jimmy: so you're looking for a boyfriend? >> i am. >> jimmy: we're going to find your soul mate here. earring or no earring? >> no earring. >> jimmy: tattoos or no tattoos. >> no tattoos. >> jimmy: do you like a hairy body or smooth? >> i like a hairy body. >> jimmy: of course. all right. so we've narrowed the field. let's meet the love of your life audience right now. how about that hairy guy right there? yes, you. oh, lookm2ykykar at that. feel the love tonight. congratulations you two. fee
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>> jimmy: this is my favorite part of the show. texas barbecue. his restaurant has sold out every day since it opened in 2009. people wait many hours in line for his meat. his new book is called "franklin barbecue: a meat smoking manifesto." please welcome, aaron franklin. and cobi smulders. hello, welcome to california. qp(r us a very important lesson. a lesson most people never attempt to smoke a brisket, true. >> well, why would you? >> jimmy: look at that thing. that's a cow, correct? >> it is a cow. there's two muscles on a brisket.
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traditionally a very tough piece of meat. this is the point. so we have a little bit of trimming to do. >> jimmy: how did this become the cut -- really not just of beef, but of meat for the state of texas? >> i think it just randomly ended up there. meat markets, blah, blah, blah, days before refrigeration. cook what's left over at the end of the week. >> jimmy: and what kind of cow is this from? >> this is angus. >> jimmy: how do we start? >> i already started trimming some stuff. you want to get the fat where you want it. you want the end cut shaped nicely. >> i'll move my beer out of the way. >> jimmy: how much fat do you want to leave on the brisket? >> i kind of prefer to leave about a quarter inch.
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it depends on your cooker. if it's fatty, take a little more off the next time. >> jimmy: can you do this to your stomach too? >> totally. >> jimmy: do you eat a lot of beef? >> i did when i was in austin. >> well, i should hope so. >> jimmy: yeah, all right. >> you just kind of -- >> jimmy: can i eat those fat scraps? >> you should avoid it. >> jimmy: do you do anything with those fat scraps? >> they're great for beans. >> jimmy: do you hear that guillermo? >> yeah, yeah. >> anyway, we're pretty much ready to go. for a rub -- i8 with half salt and half pepper. >> jimmy: do you sometimes vary that? >> well, at the restaurant we do the same thing all the time. like half and half salt and
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pepper is kind of my standard. this is just the perfect base for it. anyway. most people, you really want to keep one hand dirty and the opposite hand clean. that way you can reuse your rubs. you can grab your beer. >> jimmy: and it's important never to wash your hands, correct? >> you absolutely never want to wash your hands. cheers. >> jimmy: cheers to you and cheers to you as well. let's cook this thing. >> you feel like getting up in this? >> let's do it. >> you can use the shaker. >> how much do you put on there? >> about that much. >> okayc8ykyky#d >> jimmy: what about the sides? >> sides? the sides of the brisket. >> jimmy: i didn't mean the side dishes. >> yeah, get in there. go for it. >> do you want me to flip this? oh, yeah.
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all right. >> you can shake it off. >> all right. >> jimmy: if people don't have the smoker, how do they handle this sort of thing? >> i'm afraid you kind of need a smoker. they're not that pricey at all. you can get a pretty inexpensive one. >> oh, my gosh. >> you can get something -- >> jimmy: that's a nice touch. >> nice move. >> there you go. >> jimmy: that's the rub. >> and that's pretty much it. >> jimmy: and then we eat it. >> dive in, right? >> okay. throw it on the cooker. already have the fire going. >> jimmy: all your secret recipes in the cook book? >> every last one of them. >> jimmy: that's great. that was originally that size? >> that's true. that's how much they shrink. >> jimmy: that is a lot. >> how long has that been
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cooking for? >> this has been cooking about 14 hours at this point. it's a labor of love. it takes a good long time. watching the fire. it goes up, goes down. lose some sleep. this one's ready. >> jimmy: let's cut that thing. is it important the way you cut it? or do we just eat it? >> hugely important. talking about the point, talking about the flat, end cut. the burn-ins typically come from this area. this is the end cut. there's only two on every cow. >> jimmy: that's the special pees. the first one to ever cut the line at your restaurant is president obama? >> yeah. as far as i know. >> what about me? >> jimmy: you forgot somebody. very important. what do you do cutting wise?
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>> i cut the end part off. since this is lean part, i'm going to make about quarter inch slices. by the way, all this stuff is in the book. >> jimmy: don't cut your thumb off. that would be bad. is that okay? >> oh, please. please. >> jimmy: be careful. don't hurt each other. don't hurt each other. there you go. tell me what you think honestly. they don't like it. >> it's terrible right? >> jimmy: people wait in line on average how many hours? >> looking about six hours. >> jimmy: you should sell iphones too while you're at it. >> this is a very central texas way to cut brisket. take the point. you're looking for right there. you hear like lean or fatty, this is the fatty. this is like the rib eye.
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>> jimmy: you hear that guillermo? that's the fatty stuff. >> can i try it? >> jimmy: it's like having a pet. if anything falls on the floor, so those are nice fatty cuts. are you just talking about smoking in this book or do you beef? z recipes for/fw- s. i felt like it was kind of necessary. >> jimmy: you are nominated1t a james beard award, i know. that's a pretty big guy for a guy -- someone who just builds fires and puts themér+t. >> jimmy: up. >> i think we're ready. >> jimmy: and you have a t7 pbs show. >> jimmy: you will franklin. >> this will be the barbecue.
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>> jimmy: i think cobi you should try some of the fat stuff so you're not on the magazine again. really. that is really good. i wish i could throw meat through the camera into people'x living rooms right now. but i know it would be illegal, so i won't. you can get close enough. >> you can do this at home. >> jimmy: can you really? i can't do this at home. >> that's how this whole thing start started. >> jimmy: "franklin barbecue: a meat smoking manifesto" by ád]ct is available now. thank you very much. and we shall return with music from chic featuring nile rodgers. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world.qx
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♪ ♪ hp instant ink can save you up to 50% on ink delivered to your door. so print all you want and never run out. plans start at $2.99 a month. ♪ the most affordable way to print. hp instant ink. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank the cobie smulders, aaron franklin and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first,
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♪ every night was a blast we were flying fast flying free we were driven ♪ ♪ no, i don't want to live in the past but it's a nice place to visit ♪ ♪ and if you come along i'll be there if you come along i'll be there ♪ ♪ and if you come along i'll be there and if you come along i'll be there ♪ ♪ if you come along equal days and nights all around the world there was an explosion ♪ ♪ the clock keeps turning i was more alive it's getting late ♪ ♪ cause we worship music and it symbolized emotion ♪ ♪ smash after smash after smash i appreciate all the gifts i was given ♪ ♪ now i don't wanna live in the past
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these are the good times ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, what you're watching is history in the making. we're there at five different hospitals in four different states to complete the nation's longest interhospital kidney donation chain. would you give a stranger the gift of live. deliver us from evil. right now they're gathered in rome being trained to rid people of demonic possession. what's with all the interest in exorcism and could pope francis have something to do with it? undefeated. he's won ten world
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