>> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight. george clooney. and britt, the bachelorette e c. with cleto and the cletones. and now, for sure, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] thank you! >> jimmy: i'm the host of the

show. thanks to all of you for coming. i will say this. we have quite a show for you tonight. the incredible george clooney will be with us. the sexiest man in the world is here and he's going to interview george clooney tonight. george is here. thank you. george is here to promote his new movie "tomorrowland" in which he plays a man who waits three hours in line to get on space mountain. george was the first guest on our first show. also here tonight, as seen on television earlier this evening, britt britt nilsson is back stage. for those of you who don't follow the show, they aired part two of the season premier of the "bachelorette." the guys in the house had to

vote for one of them and that one got to stay. this is how chris harrison gave britt the bad news tonight. >> i counted the votes. >> okay. >> a majority of the men have chosen one woman who they can hopefully see a future with. britt, unfortunately, you're not going to be the bachelorette. sorry. >> jimmy: he totally pulled a seacrest on her. he started out -- seemed like it was good news and then wham, in came the bad news. he did the same thing to kaitlyn too. this is how he told her she's the bachelorette. >> i counted the votes. and unfortunately kaitlyn, i had

to send britt home. you are going to be the bachelorette. >> jimmy: i would give him a nice little knee to the nuts if he did that to me. [ cheers and applause ] and then he went back to britt and said this -- >> i counted the votes. >> okay. >> a majority of the men have chosen one woman who they can hopefully see a future with. britt, you're going to be the bachelorette. >> jimmy: no. that was a joke. we made that up. if it wasn't, what a sick individual he is, huh? so britt will not go onto marry the 25 bachelors. let's be honest, neither will kaitlyn. but britt will be here. unlike some shows on this

network, we will not kick her off of us. i think this is going to be an interesting season. we have a tradition here. every year with the exception of last season of "the bachelor" i predict who the finalists will be. after the first show, i do it. i started doing this a few years ago. over the past six seasons, i picked 86% of the finalists correctly. i'm 19 for 22. i've correctly picked the winner four out of the last six times. and tonight i unveil my selections for this season of the bachelorette. the final three will be, drum roll, please -- ben h., chris who made the mistake of drivie ing up in a cupcake. and the man who i believe kaitlyn will spend the next four to six months of her life with,

sean b. announced right away that he came for kaitlyn. she seemed most excited to see him of all of them. not to be confused with sean e. why do we call him sean b.? from now on, he's just sean. congratulations to kaitlyn and sean and most of all to me on picking another winner [ cheers and applause ] not making any money off this, but i should. this is kind of terrifying. i according to a recent study, americans aren't just texting when they drive, they're also doing all sorts of other stuff with their phones including checking e-mails, even having video chats while they're behind the wheel of the car. according to the survey, 61% of drivers text while driving, 33% e-mail while driving, 17% take

selfies. and 14% actually texted their answers to this survey while they were driving. 20% of drivers use facebook while driving their cars. there is nothing on facebook you need to see even when you aren't driving. [ cheers and applause ] don't pretend you're not one of these people. i pull up to an intersection, every person is doing this all the time. we need those driverless car nows before we all die. when you get into your car, you should have to insert your phone into a slat like a key to start the vehicle. right? that way you can't get at it. [ cheers and applause ] i know what you guys are up to. i know you're the ones who have been doing this. you get the finger of shame for that. i've been asking the viewers to take pictures of inconsiderate and unpleasant public behavior,

and to point at it and post it to twitter with the #fingerofshame. let's look at some of my favorites. these come from our viewers. there's a guy who put a cardboard box on top of the recycling bin instead of just lifting the lid. he gets the finger of shame. from jessica, when trying to stop diabetes by using sugaring gum balls to do it. you can't stop diabetes if no one gets it, folks. courtney says my family doesn't know how to throw away empty shampoo bottles. finger of shame to them. this comes to us from a guy who's in a bar with a gentleman who had no shirt. well, when you have a body like that, you flaunt it. next, this truck knocked these

mailboxes. guess no mail in the hood for a couple days. finger of shame. and finally, like father like son. boots with gym shorts. finger of shame. yeah, that's nothing to teach a child. and it sounds like the most depressing country song ever recorded. if you see something objectionable happening in a public place, don't do anything illegal. point a finger, take a picture, most it with the #finger of shame. tonight on abc, the excitement was not limited to the bachelor receipt. we also had the season finale of dancing with the stars. it was the tenth year and the 20th season. and the outcome is important. the winner often goes onto sit in the audience during next season of "dancing with the stars." the three fine lists, did you

know that? i don't believe you. went on the street to ask people if they saw kim wrojunk unon dancing with the stars. that doesn't mean much when people are faced with a new edition of "lie witness news". >> we're out here talking to people about dancing with the stars. were you impressed by kim jong-un's importance? >> she's pretty good. >> some people are saying the beginning was better and some people say the middle was better and some people say the ending was the best part. if you had to pick, what do you think? >> the middle. >> what did you think of kim jong-un's performance?

>> i like the groove. >> do you think he's a good role model for other plus-sized dictators who want to express themselves through dance? >> yeah, absolutely. big people feel like they can't do things that maybe smaller people can. >> a lot of people were talking about the dance kim jong-un did where he pointed the machine gun at the judges. >> i think art is art and you can do different things and they mean different things. i mean, probably freaked a couple people out. >> you would consider that art? >> uh-huh. >> were you moved that he wore his brother's jump suit for the final performance? >> uh-huh. >> what is the funniest thing you've seen kim jong-un do? >> come on, the hang over. >> what was your favorite line in the hangover?

>> i'm chao. >> do you think it was fair that they said he was a bear through the forest on a dark stormy night? >> based on what i saw on the clips. i saw a few posts on facebook. >> who posted them on facebook? >> my mom, actually. she was all into it. >> do you have any advice for kim jong-un going forward? >> don't let the haters get you down. that's all. >> you think kim jong-un should not have been allowed on dancing with the stars? >> i'm not going to disagree with it. anybody liable to train in dancing. i'm not going to lie. >> you're not going to lie? >> i'm not going to lie. >> well, we appreciate your honesty. we'll be right back. george clooney is here tonight so stick around. [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. britt nilsson on the way. i want to say something if i could. when i was 15 years old, i -- all right. let me start over here. i wanted to be an artist when i was a kid. i loved to draw. every night, i would sit at my desk in my room and draw and until it was very late. and while i was doing that, i would watch a television show that is very important to me, as you can tell. it was called late night with david letterman f. you watched it --

[ cheers and applause ] if you watched it without paying attention, it was a lot like the "tonight show" in that they had guests and an audience and band. but it was weird. even though it looked like every other talk show, it wasn't. it was totally original. primarily because the host of the show who seemed embarrassed to even be there, he did not seem like he was a part of show business. he never pretended to be excited. a lot of the time the people he was talking to didn't know he was joking. this is a small example but a good one i think. dave once took a camera crew into a store called just shades. there was a huge sign out front that said just shades. he asked a very serious woman who owned the store, so what can you get in here. she said, shades, just shades. dave said, but seriously, what can you get in here besides

shades. and she said nothing. and he said, have you ever thought about just going crazy and selling lamps also. the woman said, no, never, we do not sell lamps, only shades. that is why our name is just shades. it was like he had one of those tiny sized screwdrivers and he was gently twisting a little screw all the time. i started drawing pictures of dave on the covers of my textbooks in school. when i turned 16, that's my aunt. my mother baked me a late night with david letterman cake. my first car, i went to the dmv and got a late night vanity plate. we had no vcr, so i would have late night with david letterman viewing parties in the middle of the night.

cleto was one of them. we'd drink soda and watch the show. i now figured out why none of the girls in school wanted to have sex with me. many years and many pounds later, that watching the show was a great education for me. i learned almost nothing in college. watching late night, not only did i learn how to do everything from dave, the reason i have this show is -- is -- is because the executives at abc saw me when i was a guest on dave's show and hired me to host this show. so i want to thank dave and his writers. [ cheers and applause ] i want to say -- this is great. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night is letterman's fair well show. i would like it to make sure to watch that instead of our show. our show is going to be a rerun. please do not watch it.

dave is the best and you should see him. [ cheers and applause ] i want to -- i want to show you a little piece of one of my favorite segments from the show. this is something that we would quote over and over again when we were kids. it's a parody of the after school specials in the '70s and early '80s. i think this sums up how i feel this week almost super naturally well. >> jimmy. oh, jimmy. i've been looking all over for you. hold on there. i know how you feel. hurt at first, but believe me, you're going to get over it. >> you don't understand. nobody does. >> jimmy, just because a show is canceled doesn't mean it goes away forever. it can live on through reruns,

syndication. >> you mean i might see voyagers again? >> in some way or another. i remember when they canceled $6 million man. then the fall guy premiered. sure, it was a different time, slightly different format. but i adjusted. and you know what? i grew a little in the process too. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: one more thing. you know, cleto, before we do this, our band leader who i've known since i was 9 years old, is very uncomfortable speaking in public. he gave the single worst best man speech that's ever been given. and i was a wedding dj. what you're about to see is a act of love. cleto would like to say something about his counter part

at the late show. >> cleto: i've been watching and learning from paul since i was a kid never knowing that i'd end up here with this job. and i think any of us that are fortunate to have a job like this owe a lot to paul and i believe he's the gold standard. he's been so generous and kind to us over the years. i'm just really going to miss seeing paul and his most dangerous band in my living room every night. here's to you paul, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] fabulous. >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. maybe even a great show. britt, who is not the bachelorette is here. and we will be right back with george clooney. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] >> dick: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by shinola. visit shinola.com to see where

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♪i see you are feeling blue ♪come on over to my place ♪hey girl ♪we're having a party happy birthday, grandma! ♪we'll be swinging ♪dancing and singing ♪baby come on over tonight [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, from "the bachelorette," britt nilsson is here. tomorrow night, we will be off so you can watch david letterman's last show. but, we will be back with new shows thursday and friday with jennifer connelly, judd apatow, ray liotta, howie mandel. i will take on the winners of the school scrabble championship. and we'll hear music from twenty one pilots and zedd. our first guest tonight has it all figured out. he's a movie star among movie stars and the sexiest man alive

against whom all sexiest men are measured. he has a new movie called "tomorrowland" opening in theaters friday. please say hello to george clooney. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. hi, guys. >> jimmy: i came out here earlier and they weren't nearly that excited. >> i'm related to most of the people here. >> jimmy: how's life? >> very good. >> jimmy: i like to ask you about the first time i see you because we have a common interest and that is playing pranks on our friends and doing various terrible things to them. >> you've actually assisted me on some horrible, horrible

things i've done. >> jimmy: there's nothing more i love to come up with an idea or object of some kind and give it to you. you can get away with things i can't get away with. >> it's jimmy, right. i think he'll do this. he sends me something going, you should do this. i'm like, why don't you do it. because i could get arrested. >> jimmy: that's not really the reason why. the real reason why is you have -- i think -- you know what, nobody's going to mess with you. i could wind up with a show that has no guests on it. >> that's true. >> jimmy: you have to comeer night if i do this kind of stuff. >> you've -- can we tell -- >> jimmy: i gave you a special gift the last time you were here. >> which one was it? should we talk about the very last one you gave me? >> jimmy: talk about the second to last one. i think we should preserve that one. >> right now, i'm doing

something so heinous, it's so horrible that there are many famous people all across this town right now who have framed photos of this hanging on their wall and don't have any idea what i've done. >> jimmy: i love it. it might actually be a federal offense. >> it might be a federal offense. >> jimmy: but the one before it is not a federal offense. the little box of cards that i gave you. >> from -- which -- >> jimmy: the ones that had matt damon's name on it. >> this was -- this was when the -- not this golden globes, but the golden globes before when tena and amy did a joke about -- it was a gravity joke about how i would rather float off and die than be with someone my own age or something. great joke. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: that is a great joke. >> i was glad i wasn't there at the time. to see all the laughter. and so you gave me matt damon stationary. one of the other jokes -- they said some other joke about matt. some nothing joke. >> jimmy: he's a nothing guy. >> as you know. i forgot about that. >> jimmy: right. still burns. >> still burns. there's a little scar. and he -- so i sent -- i sent tina and amy notes from matt saying, you know, the george joke was okay, but you know, my daughter saw the joke you did about me and, you know, they laughed at me and thought it was really mean and it really hurt me. and then i got a package back with flowers and a note from

tina and amy going, i'm really sorry, i didn't -- to matt. really sorry, didn't want to offend. the next one said, but on the other hand, we think this is from george clooney. we're grown [ bleep ] women so [ bleep ] you. >> jimmy: that's funny. they're onto you. it just means you have to continue to evolve. >> but we've sent some horrible things to people. >> jimmy: well, you have. i mean, i have to. >> you sent them to me. jay le know i got one. i thought, why is jay leno writing me. >> jimmy: it started with a set of stationary i had made. i would send little fan letters to people. >> and i had brad pitt letters you gave me. i sent them to everybody. i said there's a movie coming out now called -- it's the horn

player. >> jimmy: the band chimed in for a change. >> thanks for waking up for that. that was nice. and he talked to me about doing it. so i sent don a note from brad. because brad has a very successful production. they won an oscar last year. i sent a message from brad to don, hey, listen we just got the rights to this charlie parker thing i got jamie foxx to play davis. you should play parker. let's do this. >> jimmy: they're taking trumpet lessons. >> played trumpet for years. i travelled to china with them and all i hear is -- when you first learning, it's not what you hope it would be. >> jimmy: how long does it take them to figure it out? >> it was about three months. don wrote me, did you do something dirty. i was like, i don't know what you're talking about.

>> jimmy: do you find that people blame you for things you didn't do? >> yeah. it's sort of like having a nuclear bomb that it's actually a deterrent. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i would never do anything to you. in a way, it's great when someone does something to you. oh, now i have carte blanche. i can do something absolutely terrible to this person. >> and i really do believe that it's fair then. >> jimmy: of course. >> and i think -- >> jimmy: although it makes all the other situations not fair, i guess. do people ever get you? >> yeah, brad got me pretty bad on one. he was doing letterman. letterman asked him when he was getting married. he said when george can legally marry in california. [ laughter ] i felt pretty bad. i got a bumper sticker on the back of his car in the shape of

a pot plant. here we go again, cops. [ laughter ] there's no way you don't get pulled over. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: george clooney is here. his movie is called "tommorland." we'll be right back. ♪ p you? yeah, we're interested in the iphone. we promised one to beth for her birthday. you know mobile share value plans now include rollover data, so the data you don't use this month rolls over to the next month. wow, even better. so what are you gonna do with your old phone? i'm giving it to my sister emily. she gets all my old hand-me-downs. oh i'm into bedazzling too. and you admit that? yeah...i...i used to be into bedazzling. i'll go get your phone. get the iphone 6 with rollover data to share. only from at&t.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with george clooney. his movie is called "tommorland." it's really, really good. as you know, you're married. you really let yourself go. you look terrible. >> thank you. that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. >> jimmy: i wonder when george clooney gets married, does it work like everyone else? does amal go through the house and say, this has got to go, or maybe go through your friends and go, this one's got to go? >> no. but there's that moment when i've worn the same t-shirt for a week that she says really? i go, okay. >> jimmy: you feel like there

are overall improvements? >> there are -- not really. i fake her out every once in a while. >> jimmy: are you allowed to ride your motorcycle? >> i am still. that hasn't been taken away. thank you. still allowed to do that. so far, so good. >> jimmy: this is kind of funny. we were in mexico at the same time. >> we always have new year's eve together. >> jimmy: you and amal are so much in love. my wife and i were talking about how smart and nice and how close you guys seem. then we were at the super market the next day. there was a magazine that said, sham marriage on the -- and then. two months later, the very same magazine, i'm finally going to be a dad. >> and the next one is sham dad. >> jimmy: i just think that's very strange.

and another thing i thought about about you, everybody says they have a freebie. you know the idea. it never happens. >> right. no. >> jimmy: if i was every anyone's freebie, i would immediately have sex with that person's wife. but i feel like you are possibly the number one guy on the freebie list. >> i just turned 54, so it's not quite the same as it used to be. >> jimmy: and yet you are on the cover of freebie magazine, why is george still number one. >> look at that. matt damon. >> jimmy: we did not do this. women say, no thanks. that's real. that's not a prop. >> you got to read the center fold. >> jimmy: do people come up to

you and tell you this a lot? >> there have been times over -- like, husbands will do that. my wife, you know, she says you're here freebie. you're going, what guy would say that, you know? come on, let's go. it's like a crazy thing. >> jimmy: the first time i met you was at some party. i was on the man show at the time. >> you were married. >> jimmy: i was with my ex-wife. you were indeed her freebie. i walked up to you and said, yeah, you're her freebie. >> and you guys are not married anymore. >> jimmy: no, we're not. that had nothing to do with it. really, it was the only thing we had in common. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. george clooney is here. the movie is called "tommorland." we'll be right back. ♪

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♪ >> wait. ♪ >> jimmy: that is george clooney in "tommorland." what were you saying? >> those things are such a pain in the ass to shoot. >> jimmy: let me tell you the movie really came out great. the director is a great director. the writer, i really think this one came out great. >> we're really proud of it. >> jimmy: it's a family film, but it's also a little bit

violent. >> good violent family film. >> jimmy: there are two little girls who kick ass through the whole movie. >> here's what's weird about getting older and being on screen. >> jimmy: tell me, i want to know what it's going to be like. >> when you're in your 30s, you get to win all the fights. you walk away, explosion behind you, you just keep walking. now you're the guy that's like -- and they don't let you do anything. walking away. punch them in the face. oww. and the kids give you crap. thanks, man. >> jimmy: the kids give you a lot of crap. i thought, oh, george is never going to have kids after this. this is from season right now. >> it is. >> jimmy: i'm going to pretend to be asking you. you did go to the prom. of course you went to the prom.

>> yes. >> jimmy: if you didn't get to go to the prom, who among us would. >> you have a picture, right? >> jimmy: put the picture up on screen. [ cheers and applause ] >> 1978. >> jimmy: who's the young lady? >> that was a lovely woman named -- her original name was lori laycok. then she married a basketball star. >> jimmy: her name a lori laycock. >> well -- don't get me in trouble with this one. i'm from a very small town. >> jimmy: do you keep in touch with lori? >> i saw her last year. i was back for a family reunion. i saw she and her husband mike and i saw their son. my nephew was named prom king which i was not in the same

school. >> jimmy: you weren't? wow. >> yeah, i'm not -- it's okay. i'm happy for him but -- [ laughter ] listen, i'm happy for the kid. >> jimmy: he's lifting the family out of the dumps i guess. congratulations on the movie. i think it's a really good one. it's called "tommorland." it opens in theaters on friday. mr. george clooney everybody. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by shinola. visit shinola.com to see where american is made.

>> jimmy: earlier tonight, two bachelorettes went into the pit. kaitlyn came out and britt came here. here now to tell us all about the shortest run in bachelorette history. please welcome, britt nilsson. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ >> jimmy: for someone who just had her heart broken in 25 pieces, you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: very good to see you. why did you do this again? what was going through your head when you agreed to do this for a second time? >> i'm just totally nuts. i don't know. honestly, yeah, last time was hard. and i just felt like i was supposed to do it. there was something inside of me that was always a yes. and last time was hard and this was going to be a weirder situation than normal. and all of the things from the outside would make one thing -- stay away. >> jimmy: you were starting to fall in love with those 25 guys. >> every single one of them. honestly, i mean last season i was starting to fall in love. >> jimmy: you never would have moved to that farm. there's no way. you could not go to that farm. you don't belong on that farm. >> if i was in love with someone, i would live anywhere.

>> jimmy: even a farm? >> even a farm. >> jimmy: i don't believe it still. i don't think chris, the bachelor believed it. i think that was a big thing for him. >> he didn't. i think that not a lot of people did for some reason. that kind of started a big mess. >> jimmy: right. >> but it got me to where i am today. >> jimmy: so you looked genuinely shock when had chris harrison gave you the news and he gave it to you in that round about way. >> very misleading wasn't it? >> jimmy: they have to trick people. >> i get it. watching it back, that is a more interesting way to watch it. yeah, i was shocked. i really was. again, i just had this feeling that i was supposed to do it. in that mind, it meant i was going to do the whole season. i felt things starting. >> jimmy: you felt like you liked some of these guys? >> there were a few. >> jimmy: so it was really -- >> not every single one of

course. >> jimmy: don't you think you go into a room with 25 attractive people and of course you're going to have that feeling. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: like tony the heeler. he's -- you seem like you liked him, yes? >> yeah, he had good energy. >> jimmy: yeah, he did. he had energy. he was talking to the plants or something like that. >> see, when i met tony, he seems compassionate, he's cool. >> jimmy: that's my point. >> wanted to be in tune with himself and understand the world. that's really attractive. >> jimmy: then he's meditating to the fern. by the way, i wanted to know, the healer ironically had a black eye throughout the whole show. did he tell you why? not in person, but he did. he came up to me. he had written a note out, pretty long, really long-winded note telling me to come find him and he would explain the black

eye. i never got to. >> jimmy: would you have gone to find him? >> it's intriguing. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess so. there was one moment from the show tonight that i think chris harrison would describe at one of the most shocking moments in bachelorette history. during the rose ceremony kaitlyn is about to eliminate, well, this happens. >> hey, kaitlyn, i'm really sorry, can i talk to you for a second? >> okay. >> curve ball. >> this has been really hard for me. it's been really emotional night. if i'm honest with you, myself, my heart is with the woman who left just a couple hours ago. i'm going to go find britt. i'm going to go see if she's open to finding love.

>> okay. >> jimmy: did he find you? >> i mean, yeah. >> jimmy: he did. where did he find you? >> in my hotel room. crying. no, no. that's just where i -- >> jimmy: so you were in there crying. >> i was in there before -- >> jimmy: they gave him your room number. >> i guess chris harrison felt bad. >> jimmy: that's a smooth move on his part. >> it is pretty smooth. >> jimmy: so you're dating him now, yes? can you say -- >> i'm giving you such a straight face. >> jimmy: here's what i think. i think you dated him for a brief time and now you're like, oh, no, please. >> i'm like jimmy kimmel all the way. >> jimmy: you're so hung up on me. is that something you can't reveal now? >> i cannot reveal at all. >> jimmy: will that be on the

show? >> it will be on the show next week. >> jimmy: so you're still on the show? maybe they'll eliminate you a third time. get you on "dancing with the stars" you can be eliminated there. you're like neil armstrong. it's very good to see you. i'm glad you're holding up well. it's a strange situation for any human being to be in. that's britt nilsson, everybody. the bachelorette airs monday nights at 8 right here on abc. i want to thank george clooney, britt and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. thanks for watching. good night! ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, mansion murder mystery. it went up in flames with a successful couple, their young son and housekeeper inside. but it may not have been the fire that killed them. tonight, the new developments, reports of suspicious noises heard just hours before the fire, and a possible person of interest caught on this surveillance video. plus, he's the bull riding pastor. what brings them together? jesus, they say. tonight, how one family's wild show is steering believers by the thousands to their highly unusual, highly entertaining, and yes, controversial church. and funny girls. they were in bridesmaids. but in real life, they actually get alg.